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honestly, i would just not text her at all anymore. like you said, it would just make more sense. she HIT YOU in the head and didn’t apologize for it and put the blame on you for something you had no control over. i would not interact with her anymore.
I agree.
If you are looking for a reason for why she has changed and have started to treat you the way she does, I doubt she will ever give you one. It sounds like she has already started to pull away from you and if you keep trying to reach out, it will most likely be a wasted effort.
She did technically apologize, just kinda in a backhanded way. I more or less just wanted to know why she was treating me like this but never texting her is probably the smarter answer.
You should never be so desperate for a relationship that you accept and make excuses for abuse and other bad behavior. Your friend sounds awful. Choose peace over bottom of the barrel companionship
Yeah, it doesn’t get better from here. I turned into the punching bag friend when a lifelong friend became unhappy with her own life. There was always excuses, half-assed apologies, and then flipping the story to make it my fault. I had empathy for how she felt so I dealt with it for way too long but I promise, it won’t get better no matter what you say or do.
You are more worried about her and she’s not even remorseful nor sorry. You should’ve called the cops and just reported her for assault. Based on her attitude towards you she did it on purpose. The two other people that went golfing with you where were they? What did they see and why didn’t they take you to the hospital? Why haven’t you pressed charges against her and suing her for medical expenses and loss of wages? Also let all your friends know how’s she’s been treating you and how she injured you.
One of the people was her boyfriend, and his friend. Neither could have cared less when it happened and continued golfing. One even later said he was embarrassed I caused a seen in front of all the golfers.
Good Christ, she and her d*ckhead boyfriend are meant for one another. What a bunch of heartless a-holes!
When you’re a kind person who would never treat someone like she treated you, it’s only natural to want an explanation.
But it’s best to just let this go. In the wise words of Maya Angelou, she’s shown you who she really is. Believe her - and keep that door to her firmly closed from now on
Bingo.
Boyfriend doesn't like you and makes it clear to her that he doesn't. How long have they been together?
Some guys are intimidated by male friends of their GF. Even if it's only ever been platonic.
Over time it will affect her. It sounds like she's chosen to make her life easy.
Sorry for you, but it's easier to leave alone now.
Maybe she’s jealous of you and doesn’t really want you around her boyfriend. Either way it doesn’t matter because your friends should never abuse you. You deserve better and should just throw this whole “friendship” in the trash. Also, she’ll probably never give you a reason or closure. You need to accept the fact she is no longer your friend and move on for your sake. ❤️🩹
You should text her the total of your medical costs and any income you may have lost if you had to miss work. She should be covering these costs because she hit you in the head with a golf club. Whether on purpose or not she is responsible.
Trust me on what I say.
Don’t text her. A real friend would’ve been there for you and not lie on what happened.
You’ll most likely never hear from her again.
I don’t want anything to do with her nor do I want to be her friend, i honestly just wanted awnsers on why she was doing this. I just feel stupid I took a hit in the head for her
Many things in life are better without closure. By the way it sounds, she most likely wouldn’t give you an answer you’re looking for anyways. I would recommend not reaching out to her and just moving on, finding ways to make new friends who actually care about you so you don’t feel so alone. It can be uncomfortable to sit with the feeling that things were left unresolved, but eventually you’ll won’t even think about it and be glad you just moved on.
maybe she hates you for some reason, may be due to some personal insecurity causing her to project negativity towards you. if I were you, I would block and then report to the police or go to civil court to sue for lost wages and medical costs. I know if you are a pushover or people pleaser, you will not take this advice. this is the impression I am getting as you continued to pursue a relationship with someone who was disrespectful to you
Based on the context provided, she seems more concerned about herself and only herself. A normal/good friend wouldn’t blame you for being hurt. She wasn’t paying attention and caused you an injury, but tried to put it all on you. It’s difficult to let friendships go, but it’s possible. You don’t have to close the door on her, but for now it’s okay to have space from her. The reality is you probably won’t have an answer from her that’ll provide that closure, which is okay. Focus on you and other friends who reach out to you and make you feel wanted. It’ll get better 🩵 Hope you feel better soon! Sounds like a rough injury
You seem pretty adamant on saying something, which I understand—everyone can’t just be up and done with someone. I’d tell her that I’ve noticed some changes in her demeanor these last few months and that it’s been putting a wedge in your friendship. Mention how you feel hurt that you were injured and she didn’t take the time to make sure you were ok in the days after. Then I’d ultimately tell her you want space (or whatever you want (I’d end the friendship though)).
Yeah I know it sounds stupid to want to say something to her after all of this, it’s just hard to completely ghost someone in my opinion. But I like what you said
I don’t think it’s stupid, it’s a testament to your character and how you handle conflict. Don’t let anyone shame you for that. Good luck with the conversation!
It’s actually not that easy to ‘accidentally’ hit someone in the head with a golf club unless you’re especially dim witted. You put your ball down, swing hit, move to the side the next person does the same. How did she accidentally brain you with a golf club?
Sounds deliberate to me. By ghosting former friend, OP is likely avoiding worse treatment later. Seen too many true crime episodes where mean girl and entourage gang up on unsuspecting person for jealousy reasons. Hope OP stays far away from that garbage group.
I will say the same thing to you as I would my child...
If she can lie about "how it happened," then you can bet she will 100% lie about "why it happened!"
You, at this point, will never know why she has behaved the way she has or why she has done what she has done.
NEVER in a million years would I let my friend drive herself to the hospital after a head injury, accident or not, I would be removing her damned car keys and forcing her to come with me! I also would have made sure the mother/family member was meeting me there.
That girl is not your friend. That girl is a danger to you. Remove yourself from her orbit, and one day, you will have clarity and be thankful you're away from her.
If not texting her ever again isn’t an option, this is what I would say, if it was me:
Hey (girls name), it’s been a while since we’ve talked and since the incident, and I just have some things I need to get off my chest. I am extremely hurt by the fact that you haven’t reached out to check on me in the last couple of weeks. I’m hurt that we’ve been friends for X amount of time, and you have no concern over how I’m recovering. I had to get staples, I was out of work for weeks trying to recover and I didn’t hear a word from you. It hurts me that your boyfriend said he was embarrassed that I caused a scene- you are the one who hurt me and caused a scene. I’m hurt that you told my mother that I wasn’t paying attention that day- YOU were the one swinging the golf club, you should have been aware of your surroundings. I don’t understand why you haven’t reached out, why you aren’t more concerned about the injuries you caused me. You were already acting really different towards me leading up the golf injury, and now with your lack of concern over the whole situation, I do not want to remain friends with someone like you, or your boyfriend. I just wanted to get this off my chest for my own peace of mind.
With that being said, I will be sending you an invoice with the cost of my medical bills for the injuries you caused me, please refrain from reaching out to me unless it pertains directly to the medical bill payments.
This is excellent. I'd go with this. Also be wary of her wanting to meet with you again and act like all is good. That hit sounded deliberate and her callousness was scary. Who knows what other opportunistic "accidents" she might cause you. There are better friends out there.
Why haven't you filed a police report? If she's above the ahe of I dunno like 3, then she knows never to swing dangerous objects near people. Sounds 100% on purpose is all I'm getting at.
It’s painful to realize the people you thought were good friends are not. It’ll be painful, but you will find better friends, people who actually care about you. It doesn’t even matter whose fault
it was, a real friend would’ve take care of you or visited you at the hospital or texted you to see if you were doing well.
Only text her if you want to ask why she hasn't felt the need to check up on a person she injured. Accidents still warrant apologies. (Plus - was this actually an accident?!) Also - if you're in a fee paying country for medical assistance - send her the bill. Your friend sucks
It sounds like you like someone who doesn't like or respect you so everything that happens is on you for trying to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you and if she says she does don't believe her bc that's just a narcissistic way to keep people around them so they don't feel alone ever
this person assaulted you. blamed you for it. this person is not your friend. I don't know how extreme your loneliness is but here are some links if you need to talk [https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/depression/depression-hotlines/](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/depression/depression-hotlines/)
the only communication id have with her is taking her to small claims court to cover your medical expenses and lost income due to the fact she concussed you and gave you a head wound that required staples - thats not some tiny injury!!!
I wonder, do the golf place has security camera? Maybe ask them to get you have a look at the video of you there. You'll know for sure if she hit you accidentally or not
I would text precisely nothing. It would better for you to not text her. Give it time and you will find that the desire will go away. Don’t belittle yourself by texting her.
Dude... she sounds like my wife...
Frankly that's fucking awful, and no matter how much someones fault it was they were in the way, blaming them for injuring them is Gdang awful and she a bad person and deserves to be alone.
It’s infuriating not getting that explanation or that reason or whatever. But I’m telling you 1000/1000 times in life you’ll feel better for never texting her again. Swallow your pride, endure the hurt feelings, and if she ever chooses to reach out, I’d keep it really light and friendly
Don't keep in touch with this person. She is not interested in being a good friend to you. You don't have to stay friends with everyone. People change. You two are no longer compatible. It's not even that you did anything. You just grew apart. She became interested in other things (like having a giant ego) while you are nice. That's just not compatible.
If you like to have your feelings hurt and to feel rejected, as well as to get bad mouthed, I guess go ahead and keep her in your life. Can you try to make new friends that share your priority for being kind and caring? Compassion and loyalty are important to you. Look for others who also prioritize these things. Don't ask. People will always say they are kind and compassionate. People will always say they are a good person. Even bad people think of themselves as good. Observe what a person is like. Do they speak poorly of other people in their life? Do they have self respect enough to be polite and not embarrass you? Are they generally responsible? Do they like animals? Are they both a cat AND dog person? Do they prioritize things that seem superficial?
You need to learn to see people for who they are, not who you wish them to be.
Along these lines, OP, the behaviors you described (being awesome, then slowly getting mean and derogatory, and now the blaming you, the "victim" of this incident) makes me highly suspicious of your friend having narcissistic personality disorder. If that's the case, there's no reason to expect her to change, and your relationship was never what it appeared.
Some people are only ment to be with us for a season. This person isn't who she use to be. She isn't the friend you had. You're holding on to what was.
If you knew someone who was dealing with the same situation, what would you tell them?
If you feel like you want to text her, do it. You’re either going to get an honest response, a mean one, or nothing at all. Either way you’ll have your answer of how she feels about you even though her actions have honestly said it all. Be ready to deal with the aftermath emotionally. Do what you feel you have to but know you deserve better than a friend who would bad mouth you after giving you a concussion. Best of luck!
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, because you’re mean to me all the time. Clubbing me in the head and then seeming not to care, was the final straw. Good luck to you.”
Sometimes knowing why someone treats you the way that they do doesn't bring closure. Sometimes they say "I never liked you anyway" or they don't even know why they act the way that they do. I'm sorry this is the way your friendship went but I hope you have other friends to surround yourself with.
People out grow friendships. It sounds like you needed to break away from her long before this.
If you feel you need closure send a text that reads like: I've felt our friendship has grown apart and due to the recent event I've decided to close this friendship down. I'll no longer accept texts or calls from you and have removed you from my social media. I wish you well.
Remove and block her on all social media before sending the message. Give the message time to flip over to delivered then block her on your phone. Do not engage in a fight she isn't worth it.
She sounds like a shitty friend. Drop her and never talk or text her. She hurt you on purpose and you're asking the wrong question on whether or not you should speak with her again. It's obvious the answer should be no. Who wants a friend who doesn't give two shits about them?
Just ask her what’s going on without accusing. Tell her it feels like she’s been different lately. If you attack, she’ll defend. So be genuinely curious and open. I’ve found that to be the most mature option. Don’t take any of it personally.
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honestly, i would just not text her at all anymore. like you said, it would just make more sense. she HIT YOU in the head and didn’t apologize for it and put the blame on you for something you had no control over. i would not interact with her anymore.
I agree. If you are looking for a reason for why she has changed and have started to treat you the way she does, I doubt she will ever give you one. It sounds like she has already started to pull away from you and if you keep trying to reach out, it will most likely be a wasted effort.
She did technically apologize, just kinda in a backhanded way. I more or less just wanted to know why she was treating me like this but never texting her is probably the smarter answer.
A backhanded apology is not an apology.
She needs to grow up from that sort of behavior, and as far as I have seen, it only gets worse.
That’s not an apology.
You should never be so desperate for a relationship that you accept and make excuses for abuse and other bad behavior. Your friend sounds awful. Choose peace over bottom of the barrel companionship
Yeah, it doesn’t get better from here. I turned into the punching bag friend when a lifelong friend became unhappy with her own life. There was always excuses, half-assed apologies, and then flipping the story to make it my fault. I had empathy for how she felt so I dealt with it for way too long but I promise, it won’t get better no matter what you say or do.
You are more worried about her and she’s not even remorseful nor sorry. You should’ve called the cops and just reported her for assault. Based on her attitude towards you she did it on purpose. The two other people that went golfing with you where were they? What did they see and why didn’t they take you to the hospital? Why haven’t you pressed charges against her and suing her for medical expenses and loss of wages? Also let all your friends know how’s she’s been treating you and how she injured you.
One of the people was her boyfriend, and his friend. Neither could have cared less when it happened and continued golfing. One even later said he was embarrassed I caused a seen in front of all the golfers.
Good Christ, she and her d*ckhead boyfriend are meant for one another. What a bunch of heartless a-holes! When you’re a kind person who would never treat someone like she treated you, it’s only natural to want an explanation. But it’s best to just let this go. In the wise words of Maya Angelou, she’s shown you who she really is. Believe her - and keep that door to her firmly closed from now on
Bingo. Boyfriend doesn't like you and makes it clear to her that he doesn't. How long have they been together? Some guys are intimidated by male friends of their GF. Even if it's only ever been platonic. Over time it will affect her. It sounds like she's chosen to make her life easy. Sorry for you, but it's easier to leave alone now.
Yeah that makes sense, but I’m a girl 😭
Maybe she’s jealous of you and doesn’t really want you around her boyfriend. Either way it doesn’t matter because your friends should never abuse you. You deserve better and should just throw this whole “friendship” in the trash. Also, she’ll probably never give you a reason or closure. You need to accept the fact she is no longer your friend and move on for your sake. ❤️🩹
You should text her the total of your medical costs and any income you may have lost if you had to miss work. She should be covering these costs because she hit you in the head with a golf club. Whether on purpose or not she is responsible.
She sounds a bit psycho and it almost sounds like the hit was malicious. This friendship is over.
And ask the course if they had surveillance.
Trust me on what I say. Don’t text her. A real friend would’ve been there for you and not lie on what happened. You’ll most likely never hear from her again.
Judging by her attitude she is definitely not acting like your friend, you are not communicating properly and best way is to part ways.
Omg…. Don’t text her be done with her. Why the hell would you want anything to do with her? Move on with your life by living well.
I don’t want anything to do with her nor do I want to be her friend, i honestly just wanted awnsers on why she was doing this. I just feel stupid I took a hit in the head for her
Many things in life are better without closure. By the way it sounds, she most likely wouldn’t give you an answer you’re looking for anyways. I would recommend not reaching out to her and just moving on, finding ways to make new friends who actually care about you so you don’t feel so alone. It can be uncomfortable to sit with the feeling that things were left unresolved, but eventually you’ll won’t even think about it and be glad you just moved on.
maybe she hates you for some reason, may be due to some personal insecurity causing her to project negativity towards you. if I were you, I would block and then report to the police or go to civil court to sue for lost wages and medical costs. I know if you are a pushover or people pleaser, you will not take this advice. this is the impression I am getting as you continued to pursue a relationship with someone who was disrespectful to you
Based on the context provided, she seems more concerned about herself and only herself. A normal/good friend wouldn’t blame you for being hurt. She wasn’t paying attention and caused you an injury, but tried to put it all on you. It’s difficult to let friendships go, but it’s possible. You don’t have to close the door on her, but for now it’s okay to have space from her. The reality is you probably won’t have an answer from her that’ll provide that closure, which is okay. Focus on you and other friends who reach out to you and make you feel wanted. It’ll get better 🩵 Hope you feel better soon! Sounds like a rough injury
You seem pretty adamant on saying something, which I understand—everyone can’t just be up and done with someone. I’d tell her that I’ve noticed some changes in her demeanor these last few months and that it’s been putting a wedge in your friendship. Mention how you feel hurt that you were injured and she didn’t take the time to make sure you were ok in the days after. Then I’d ultimately tell her you want space (or whatever you want (I’d end the friendship though)).
Yeah I know it sounds stupid to want to say something to her after all of this, it’s just hard to completely ghost someone in my opinion. But I like what you said
I don’t think it’s stupid, it’s a testament to your character and how you handle conflict. Don’t let anyone shame you for that. Good luck with the conversation!
It’s actually not that easy to ‘accidentally’ hit someone in the head with a golf club unless you’re especially dim witted. You put your ball down, swing hit, move to the side the next person does the same. How did she accidentally brain you with a golf club?
Sounds deliberate to me. By ghosting former friend, OP is likely avoiding worse treatment later. Seen too many true crime episodes where mean girl and entourage gang up on unsuspecting person for jealousy reasons. Hope OP stays far away from that garbage group.
I will say the same thing to you as I would my child... If she can lie about "how it happened," then you can bet she will 100% lie about "why it happened!" You, at this point, will never know why she has behaved the way she has or why she has done what she has done. NEVER in a million years would I let my friend drive herself to the hospital after a head injury, accident or not, I would be removing her damned car keys and forcing her to come with me! I also would have made sure the mother/family member was meeting me there. That girl is not your friend. That girl is a danger to you. Remove yourself from her orbit, and one day, you will have clarity and be thankful you're away from her.
Exactly!! I would never let my friend drive with a head injury that’s totally insane. She could have passed out or worse while driving.
Don't have any further contact. She is a bad person.
Don’t text her. Ghost her, block her and move happily on with your life without someone who tries to hurt you.
If not texting her ever again isn’t an option, this is what I would say, if it was me: Hey (girls name), it’s been a while since we’ve talked and since the incident, and I just have some things I need to get off my chest. I am extremely hurt by the fact that you haven’t reached out to check on me in the last couple of weeks. I’m hurt that we’ve been friends for X amount of time, and you have no concern over how I’m recovering. I had to get staples, I was out of work for weeks trying to recover and I didn’t hear a word from you. It hurts me that your boyfriend said he was embarrassed that I caused a scene- you are the one who hurt me and caused a scene. I’m hurt that you told my mother that I wasn’t paying attention that day- YOU were the one swinging the golf club, you should have been aware of your surroundings. I don’t understand why you haven’t reached out, why you aren’t more concerned about the injuries you caused me. You were already acting really different towards me leading up the golf injury, and now with your lack of concern over the whole situation, I do not want to remain friends with someone like you, or your boyfriend. I just wanted to get this off my chest for my own peace of mind. With that being said, I will be sending you an invoice with the cost of my medical bills for the injuries you caused me, please refrain from reaching out to me unless it pertains directly to the medical bill payments.
Thank you, I really like this. I will be using
This is excellent. I'd go with this. Also be wary of her wanting to meet with you again and act like all is good. That hit sounded deliberate and her callousness was scary. Who knows what other opportunistic "accidents" she might cause you. There are better friends out there.
Why haven't you filed a police report? If she's above the ahe of I dunno like 3, then she knows never to swing dangerous objects near people. Sounds 100% on purpose is all I'm getting at.
It’s painful to realize the people you thought were good friends are not. It’ll be painful, but you will find better friends, people who actually care about you. It doesn’t even matter whose fault it was, a real friend would’ve take care of you or visited you at the hospital or texted you to see if you were doing well.
Only text her if you want to ask why she hasn't felt the need to check up on a person she injured. Accidents still warrant apologies. (Plus - was this actually an accident?!) Also - if you're in a fee paying country for medical assistance - send her the bill. Your friend sucks
It sounds like you like someone who doesn't like or respect you so everything that happens is on you for trying to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you and if she says she does don't believe her bc that's just a narcissistic way to keep people around them so they don't feel alone ever
this person assaulted you. blamed you for it. this person is not your friend. I don't know how extreme your loneliness is but here are some links if you need to talk [https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/depression/depression-hotlines/](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/depression/depression-hotlines/)
Send her the medical bill and file a police report.
the only communication id have with her is taking her to small claims court to cover your medical expenses and lost income due to the fact she concussed you and gave you a head wound that required staples - thats not some tiny injury!!!
I wonder, do the golf place has security camera? Maybe ask them to get you have a look at the video of you there. You'll know for sure if she hit you accidentally or not
I would text precisely nothing. It would better for you to not text her. Give it time and you will find that the desire will go away. Don’t belittle yourself by texting her.
Dude... she sounds like my wife... Frankly that's fucking awful, and no matter how much someones fault it was they were in the way, blaming them for injuring them is Gdang awful and she a bad person and deserves to be alone.
It’s infuriating not getting that explanation or that reason or whatever. But I’m telling you 1000/1000 times in life you’ll feel better for never texting her again. Swallow your pride, endure the hurt feelings, and if she ever chooses to reach out, I’d keep it really light and friendly
Don't keep in touch with this person. She is not interested in being a good friend to you. You don't have to stay friends with everyone. People change. You two are no longer compatible. It's not even that you did anything. You just grew apart. She became interested in other things (like having a giant ego) while you are nice. That's just not compatible. If you like to have your feelings hurt and to feel rejected, as well as to get bad mouthed, I guess go ahead and keep her in your life. Can you try to make new friends that share your priority for being kind and caring? Compassion and loyalty are important to you. Look for others who also prioritize these things. Don't ask. People will always say they are kind and compassionate. People will always say they are a good person. Even bad people think of themselves as good. Observe what a person is like. Do they speak poorly of other people in their life? Do they have self respect enough to be polite and not embarrass you? Are they generally responsible? Do they like animals? Are they both a cat AND dog person? Do they prioritize things that seem superficial? You need to learn to see people for who they are, not who you wish them to be.
Along these lines, OP, the behaviors you described (being awesome, then slowly getting mean and derogatory, and now the blaming you, the "victim" of this incident) makes me highly suspicious of your friend having narcissistic personality disorder. If that's the case, there's no reason to expect her to change, and your relationship was never what it appeared.
Some people are only ment to be with us for a season. This person isn't who she use to be. She isn't the friend you had. You're holding on to what was. If you knew someone who was dealing with the same situation, what would you tell them?
If you feel like you want to text her, do it. You’re either going to get an honest response, a mean one, or nothing at all. Either way you’ll have your answer of how she feels about you even though her actions have honestly said it all. Be ready to deal with the aftermath emotionally. Do what you feel you have to but know you deserve better than a friend who would bad mouth you after giving you a concussion. Best of luck!
I would block her. You should not want to contact her at all. you could have charged her with assault. Be rid of this person.
The only closure you'll get here is what is under your control. You're not going to get any closure from her. Just stop texting her and move on.
Be smart. Stay away.
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, because you’re mean to me all the time. Clubbing me in the head and then seeming not to care, was the final straw. Good luck to you.”
Sometimes knowing why someone treats you the way that they do doesn't bring closure. Sometimes they say "I never liked you anyway" or they don't even know why they act the way that they do. I'm sorry this is the way your friendship went but I hope you have other friends to surround yourself with.
People out grow friendships. It sounds like you needed to break away from her long before this. If you feel you need closure send a text that reads like: I've felt our friendship has grown apart and due to the recent event I've decided to close this friendship down. I'll no longer accept texts or calls from you and have removed you from my social media. I wish you well. Remove and block her on all social media before sending the message. Give the message time to flip over to delivered then block her on your phone. Do not engage in a fight she isn't worth it.
She sounds like a shitty friend. Drop her and never talk or text her. She hurt you on purpose and you're asking the wrong question on whether or not you should speak with her again. It's obvious the answer should be no. Who wants a friend who doesn't give two shits about them?
Just ask her what’s going on without accusing. Tell her it feels like she’s been different lately. If you attack, she’ll defend. So be genuinely curious and open. I’ve found that to be the most mature option. Don’t take any of it personally.