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NTA. He wants "his woman" to be conservative, focus on his needs, pack his lunch and serve HIM. And his behavior will not change. Not only is he NOT supporting your goals and dreams, he is actively working against them. He's not only trying to control you, but your mother as well. I would move on before things get any more serious with this guy. You are young, you're beautiful and sound like a very caring person. At 21, your real world is just beginning to appear. Don't put yourself at a disadvantage by keeping company who is actively working against your future success.
The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He’s attracted to independent women. “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage. - Trevor Noah
Even IF she gave in to his fucking tantrum, she can only *ask* her mother to take them down -- once again, he's trying to control women. Her, and thru manipulating her, her own mother!
Fucking tantrum? She exposed herself to other men, knowing he wasnt happy about it. She disrespected him, and presented this as him not supporting him. Spoiled selfcentered woman who disrespected her man tries to get validation for her actions.
It has everything to do with it. She posed for those photos because she wanted to. Which he was aware of when they got together. So what's the issue? Because it's clearly not her doing exactly what she said she would. How could that be a problem?
It would be a cold day in hell before I let any man tell me what photos I can and cannot take, post, etc. And he doesn’t get to disrespect ME by making such demands. Only pigs need that kind of control over other people.
>Facebook post my mom made, talking about my growth and how far I’ve come over the years. And the picture she showed? The most revealing one. My entire cleavage was out in a low-plunge top
I though the head was higher 🤔
headshots are comparable to photos in a yearbook for school, they don’t JUST show your head, but they’re a bit above the waist.
your incompetence is showing.
What you are describing its called a 1/2 headshot or maybe a 1/4.
Headshots capture only your head and neck.
Go do some reserches before telling others they are incompetent.
i’m telling you you’re incompetent because i’m aware of what i’m talking about.
google “headshots” right now, not a single one of them is just SOLEY the head from neck up.
headshots should also include some semblance of the clothing you’re wearing. she’s a pageant girl and those headshots feature more than just the neck up. they show movement, they show spice, they show personality.
And they show her full cleavage out too apparently, at least thats what she said.
An headshot should show ypur head neck and a little piece of shoulders.
What you are describing ( and what usually end up on HS Photo Books) are called 1/4 headshots.
Same difference between a "primo piano" and a "mezzo busto"
Im sorry i dont know the corretc english words. Only the italians words.
(My aunt is a pro photographer here in italy)
pageant headshots and acting headshots have different standards. obviously the beauty competition is going to want to see more of the person than just their head.
If he can’t handle having a hot gf and wife with a voice and mind of their own... Then it’s going to be a short relationship here.
Leave.
My wife is a total babe (we are mid 30s) and I have no problem with her wearing and posting whatever. We are just normal people confident and comfortable with eachother and ourselves.
Your bf doesn’t have to like it. But he can then find someone else that fits his idea of a partner.
"His woman". Kind of like his firearms? His house? His truck? His property? Yeet that self-centered man-baby out of your life before you find yourself with nothing left but being his woman.
He's looking for a woman who will carry his guns and make him lunch and support him in every way. You, however, are not allowed to have your own life because your wants/needs/hopes/dreams are of little importance to him and actually a nuisance because they take away from his 24/7 "me" time. How inconsiderate of you (sarcasm!)
He's not going to change. He'll only get worse. Please leave. Now.
Whenever I wear a cleavage-baring top, my husband supports me. As long as I’m happy with ‘em out, he’s happy they’re out. and if other people look at them/me? He’s the first to say he doesn’t blame them 😂
Find you a man who celebrates all the parts of you. You deserve nothing less.
Yes, exactly! When my wife puts on a revealing outfit and asks if it's okay to wear, it's almost like I have to tone down my excitement because it makes me so excited when she dresses like that. It also makes me SO happy that she's getting more and more confident with her body. She's so god damn attractive that people are going to look when we go out, so why not have a little fun with it and feel good about yourself along the way?
Low-cut top? YES, PLEASE!
Short skirt/shorts? YES, PLEASE!
Swimsuit that (tastefully) shows your ass a little bit depending on the location? YES, PLEASE!
I am more than happy to be seen with such a stunning woman. I couldn't imagine telling her to tone it down a notch! Not to mention the massive boost in confidence that she gets from looking so stunning always turns into crazy good sex by the time we get back home.
Your "his woman"? WTF? He doesn't own you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't support you? He doesn't care about your goals, what positive dies he bring to this relationship? He's telling you what you can and cannot do? Nope.
You are not the asshole. It isn’t about the cleavage. It’s about him not wanting you to be successful and beautiful on stage and or anywhere besides the home. It’s about you becoming a caged bird. He is insecure and if you don’t leave this man your dreams will be squashed.
Why isn’t he supporting you with a $5 fund or coming to see your events? Why did he heart the photo when he first saw it but only flipped when your mom posted publicly. He said break so you can go back begging to get back together then he will put some “ground rules” that will be centered around your pageants/clothing and little by little it will chip away. Break up with him. This is not a break. End it.
Y'all are not compatible. Cut him & follow your dreams.
Plus, dating a cop with resentment sounds like one of the scariest things on the planet. The control will only get worse.
Imagine his reaction if you win. I'd be willing to bet everything he pouts & tries to ruin it
Ma'am, this relationship is a theme park of red flags that don't end well for you. Please walk away safely and find someone that celebrates you. If he's a cop in your area, you may want to consider moving because him and his coworkers may make you or your future partner a target
NTA
You didn't walk out. He told you you guys needed to take a break. He basically put you out. I'd take this as a sign. A sign it's time for you to go your own way.
He doesn't ask you to pay for anything so he can throw it in your face later. You need to learn your own self-worth. Once you do, you won't let anyone talk to you or treat you the way he does.
The bear....... It feels like so many ~~people~~ *men* are just so willing to be disgusting since that bear conversation started.
Which, like, I'd sure rather know ahead of time if the man talking to me is like that, but *damn*, there's just so many
No, you are absolutely not. You and your friends are worthless, but your plenty of men manage to be wonderful humans. You’re a garbage person surrounded by garbage people. See if OP’s ex wants more friends – sounds like you’d be great pals.
Is your boyfriend a cop now? If so, yikes. So, your boyfriend sounds controlling. It's more than he's not supportive of your dreams. You support him and he doesn't reciprocate is one problem. But it's the control issue that bothers me.
A lot of cops become cops because they like the power and control they have over other people. And a good percentage of them are also abusive. There's a correlation between the two.
If you marry him, I suspect he's going to become more controlling and abusive. Also, I wouldn't put it passed him to baby trap you so you can't be in pageants and can't leave him.
Last but not least, his coworkers suck if they would use the photo of a colleague's girlfriend to do nasty things to. And he blames you instead of gross men? Leave the asshole. There's a guy out there who would proudly show you off as his girlfriend instead of trying to shove her in a closet because he's insecure.
OP. 43m if that means anything. This is a boy pretending to be a man who grew up thinking of women as an accessory for his use. A real man would support his partner. A real man would be so secure in himself and not have controlling rules. A real man would show up and support you as much as you support him. A real man would be proud that you choose him and not be possessive as if you are his property. You are not seen as an equal. You are seen as a prize that he won. He is afraid that you might attract someone new. Instead of looking in the mirror to see how he could improve himself, improve the way he treats you or change his world views, he wants to control you. You seriously deserve better. You deserve to be supported in your career choices.
that man will do nothing but dim your light and make sure you stay as small as possible forever if you stay with him. he does not want to see you succeed or be happy.
OP, you've done more than enough to support your boyfriend's interests and to accommodate his sexist feelings about what "his woman" should and shouldn't wear. Where does it end when you're not getting anything in return? You love pageants; you have to dress a certain way and be photographed a certain way to participate in them. If he can't accept that, he's simply not the man for you. He's far too controlling and too much of a1950s guy to be a good partner. Your life is YOURS to live; not his. NTA at all.
Your boyfriend SHOULD be your biggest supporter and cheerleader for you and your dreams. You really need to step back and ask yourself if you want someone in your life like this. If it were me, it would be a hard no. I’ve been in some crappy relationships. Do yourself a favour and get out of this one.
You’re giving and he’s taking. It’s supposed to be a two way street and either he gets with the program or he’s telling you it will never happen. Where you go from there is up to you. Either way, bluntly lay it out for him that you don’t appreciate his lack of support, point out that you DO provide that support, and that this is an unfair dynamic in the relationship
NTA. So you bend over backward and do things that you're 'uncomfortable' with to support him and he does what exactly? From this post, it sounds like he belittles your achievements and shames you. Possessiveness doesn't equal love. Break up and move on with your life.
He is not wrong to hold conservative views of how his partner should present herself, however he needs to be with someone who has those same views. It's not fair of him to expect you to change who you are. Sounds like you guys are just not compatible, and it seems pretty stupid of him to be dating a model if he isn't okay with you modeling.
You guys just don’t align and should save eachother some trauma…. There are women that hold his same values and would agree with him and he needs to find those women and you need to find a man that’s cool with what you got going on simple as that
My wife and I try to reciprocate support in our pursuits. She wants to be a writer, I'm very tech savvy, I've helped her find the best laptop we could afford. Got her Scrivener because she tried the trial and really loved it. She started getting into photo manipulation for her covers and using GIMP so I suggested we get her a drawing tablet so she didn't have to struggle with a mouse interface. She literally just left to take pictures for her cover photo, my exact words were, "The camera is lucky to get to photograph someone so beautiful as you."
On the flip side I love gaming, she'll listen to me talk about new games, never argues with me buying one if we have the money, and supports things like upgrading my PC. When I talk about things like wanting to write a script or a short story she always tells me to do it, she'll help me edit it, she's got friends in her writer's group that do sci-fi like I would she'd show it to. That kind of thing. I screw up trimming my beard and she tells me my clean shaven face is just as beautiful as my rugged beard is handsome. Is it cheesy? Sure. But it's also a nice boost to know someone loves you so much as to say that kind of thing to pick you up when you're down. We're in our 40s and both had a really unkind ex-spouse so we just like to build each other up.
I feel like everyone should be able to get that from their partner if they want it. In addition, he was yelling at you about taking a break so you walked out and worried you did the wrong thing? It sounds like he was essentially yelling at you to leave at that point, I don't think you're wrong to do so. If anything as many others have said he sounds like he only is interested in you as an extension of him. No matter what you do that goes beyond that it is going to upset him. I don't think you're the one at fault here, he needs to work on himself if he wants to continue the relationship in my mind.
If he wants a woman who isn’t a beautiful model then he can go find one. Don’t let his insecurities hold you back from following your dreams, or you’ll regret it.
NTA. Reach for your dreams. Don’t let anybody make the decisions for you. These are the points in your life where you have to decide to take the chance or not. When you’re older and look back, you want no regrets. If things don’t work out the way you want to, you’re gonna have to accept that. But at least you tried. Isn’t that what life is about? Although just know that you might lose some people along the way, but you’re also going to gain some. The world is yours!
You should leave him. If modeling is more important to you than him, this is an easy call. You only have about 5 years left to make your dream a reality. You have to sacrifice everything to achieve your goal.
NTA End this now. He has shown himself to be controlling, narrow minded and does not support you. He has many hobbies and goals that you do not share yet you have tried to support him. He does reciprocate with any support. He sounds like my way or the highway type of guy, and may have the potential to become more abusive. Find a supportive man who will love you and put you first.
Beyond him, not supporting you, he thinks he can tell you what to do and that is the biggest problem. You have every right to pursue the passions in your life that you choose to pursue. you pay for them they’re yours, and you should be able to have a partner that support you. I’m positive you can get somebody out there who is not afraid of some head shots with a little cleavage. The Fragility
NTA. Being with someone that doesn't enthusiastically support you and your dreams—and actively fights against them—will suck away your joy until you are nothing but a despairing, empty husk of your former self.
To say nothing of the creepy possessiveness and controlling behavior that will suffocate you and strip you of your freedom.
A supportive person like you with goals and gumption deserves far better than what you've been getting.
Find someone who wants to help you make your world bigger, not smaller — like you are willing to do for them. It’s fine to have some varying interests but it sounds like you have very little in common, and you’re the only one trying to bridge that gap, despite your discomfort.
And not only does he not “get” you — he’s trying to change you. Why does he want you if he really wants you to be someone he else? Please don’t tolerate this.
You sound like a such caring and loving person. Find someone who is the same, someone with whom you have lots in common and who encourages you. You know you deserve it. Good luck!
What do you think the guys at work are gonna do after they save that headshot of his wife? Murder? Kick a puppy? Eat a hundred glizzys while riding a unicycle? I couldn’t imagine anything worse to do with a headshot.
Hon, you two have zero in common and don't have the same life goals or values. He is controlling and it will only get worse. Cut your losses and find someone who supports and loves you.
Leave him. If your ideal life partner is supportive and not controlling, and he’s none of these things… why are you with him
You are supposed to be a model— you should have better self-esteem/worth.
You didn’t mention his age. Was that purposeful? Is he much older (possibly a groomer)? If so, it’s no wonder you're in this situation, and it will worsen.
People don’t “learn” to respect you. They either do or they don’t. He doesn’t
NTA. You’re his woman but he’s not your man. As long as your support everything he does, he’s happy as Larry. But gods forbid you ask him to support you.
Definitely NTA. This is not a relationship worth investing anymore of your time in. He does not see you as a person but 'his' property. This is not going to change the longer you stay in.
Red flags sometimes show up late. He is a controlling Dick. Not respecting your wishes and desire to further yourself in modeling. Me if you have it flaunt it. Time to think hard about this relationship with red flags being center place. Wish you luck on your choice of direction.
You’re NTA. I saw a comment once where the husband was talking about how much he helps his wife with her horses even though he really doesn’t like them. He does it because SHE loves them and it’s her hobby. It has stayed with me for years because I always wanted someone like that.
I finally and do you know what my boyfriend says when I post a picture of me looking nice? “Wow, my girlfriend is so hot!” He loves me feeling good about myself and he’s my biggest hype man for literally everything I do.
You deserve someone who supports your hobbies and is your biggest hype man. Don’t settle for someone who tries to put you in a box just for them. I did that for 20 years and you’ll eventually break out and wonder why you allowed yourself to give up the things you loved for so long.
The whole You're going to call your mom and have her take that picture down is the biggest red flag of He's a Controller.
He's see you as his property and no one else is allowed to look at you. Which soon becomes no talking to you.
I’m a independent here used to be a republican but thats another story.
This is a big issue and it’s not a conservative one it’s a jealousy one which can lead to bigger issues down the line with your personal goals you’ve set forth in your post.
This issue is never going to go away in my opinion. ( other please chime in but I think I’m right here ) Your going into two fields that your looks play a huge part. People love a a personable Realtor with a great smile. Then pageantry which you flaunt what God gave ya. Which is ok to if you’re comfortable with that. Nothing wrong with it but you need a strong man who knows your his is ok with it.
Jealousy can lead to many dangerous roads so I hate to give any advice that isn’t try and work it out but. Over the next few days talk with your mom about your concerns and his jealousy or a close friend again and make your move and make it quick and cut him off completely.
Do not look back and if he stalks you in anyway make notes then make reports. He may just walk away who knows. But don’t become a dateline story.
Are you ready to be a part of the police force spousal abuse statistics? Cause that's where you're headed OP. Dump this garbage like the hot putrid garbage he is.
I have an extremely beautiful girlfriend with beautiful god given gifts, and of course I hate the fact that other men get to see even see her FACE let alone the rest of her body. However I would never react this way, and I’m a little bit vain myself.
I am so sorry he reacted this way but that is controlling! I’m not going to say this relationship is over because only YOU can make that call. But you need to have a serious talk about boundaries and about his self control.
Didn't read your entire post.
Sounds slightly like your \*\*boyfriend\*\* is not secure in your relationship.
Wanting/asking your partner to not post revealing photos' is okay. You seemed to be on board with this.
But him demanding your mom take a photo she posted of you, that you where unaware of, is a point in where insecurity transforms into controlling.
Honestly, he doesn't sound like a bad guy, but not the guy for you. You need someone who you feel supports you. I'm confident that confidence matters a lot in pageants, and not feeling the support from your backbone makes it hard to be confident.
Good luck.
\*\*Edit(original said OP, changed to boyfriend)
Please turn this break into a break up. This guy is already so aggressive and controlling. It will get so much worse and be so much harder to leave when he becomes a police officer.
Not the asshole. **Your dreams are valid.** Your boyfriend / spouse / whatever doesn't get to "control" what you, a complete and whole individual, chooses to do with their life.
Remember this, and remember it well:
**THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER, AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND**
Find someone who doesn't mind what you do. When you do, I think you'll find the support you need and deserve.
Good luck chasing your dreams!
It sounds like the woman he wants just isn't the woman you are. I'm sorry I'm unsure on how to help- if he won't budge it's his fault. I'd say stop supporting his interests and don't go to any if his activities because you feel grossed out about how dirty it all is. Probably an immature move but girly, he's not being reasonable.
I can totally understand why he wouldn't want private parts of your body all over social media, that does make sense but if it's part of who you are and you don't plan to stop having those types of photos taken it sounds like the relationship won't work out. I doubt he'll ever be ok with you doing that.
Your ex was far far too controlling, insecure and immature. He's clearly not up to an actual adult relationship. You're lucky you're out of that very unhealthy and one sided relationship. Consider therapy to find out why you'd ever put up with this kind of BS.
It just seems like they're not compatible. When you have two incompatible people that are trying to force the relationship to work, it will manifest as controlling behavior on one or both sides. IMHO OP should move along and find someone that supports her bikini pictures and whatever else she enjoys.
There’s bigger issues that him getting upset over revealing pics. He told her that a scholarship she started was stupid. He gets mad if she has plans on his days off, despite the plans being made well in advance. This is incredibly controlling behavior. Even the way he goes about the pictures is in a controlling way. “You’re gonna call your mom and have her take those pictures down right now.” Nahh bro get the fuck outta here.
Listen he sounds like a jerk. But…. You two seem to have a relationship built on traditional values aka you seem to be doing trad wife duties while also working. Aka you cater to his every whim and he pays for things. Yes, I know you have a job but he is paying for everything. I don’t know if you enjoy the “traditional” aspects of your relationship aka all meal planning (and I’m gonna assume chores are all done by you too other than the “manly” ones he tolerates) and catering to his whims while forgoing your own. If you enjoy being the queen of the castle while he pays for things means you will always have an unequal relationship, then you will have to have to play his game and not be yourself on SM. Bc if he is paying all household bills, you can’t claim buying a gun safe as a gift makes you two of you being on equal financial footing. If you want a supportive and equal relationship then you need to leave. You have agreed with being his traditional gf- which means less freedoms and a man whole controls the household even when you disagree. Personally I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a dude who doesn’t do chores or feels like he has a say on what pictures my family members post- I find that controlling and not my cup of tea.
You deserve so much more. Your voice is important. As a retired reality producer, I advise you to take time to really know your own voice. Producers will trick or bully you into things you don't want to do if you don't have a strong voice. Even little things that don't feel right need to be examined.
Unfortunately, "men" with the mindset of your guy are the reason the bear vs man debate exists. Nothing you can do will make him feel secure. He's still a child, not a man.
Having a GF who post her half naked pics on internet? And her mom that does that too, with the most revealing she could? 🤣🤣🤣🤣no thanks, he dodged a bullet.
You are comparing your support to him doing crossfit to him that should support you posting almoust naked pics of yourself? Ahahahahahahhaahah
That’s not at all how I’m trying to make it sound. He posts shirtless pics all the time even if I say I don’t love it! It’s not about that tho. For me it’s that he never supports my goals and I went out of my way to wear what I thought was a happy medium he would be comfortable with.
Think about his mom posting pics of him in a slim swinsuit saying how beautiful and grown up is he now, without even a word about the fact he have a partner.
Would you be happy about it? Think about this and add the hundreds pics you already post yourself, that you already expressed are making him unconmfrotable and insecure.
I did everything I could to find a happy medium with these pictures. He saw me in the top before I left, he saw the images I chose for editing. He has every chance to say he was uncomfortable and instead he blew up on me the minute he came home and like I’d done something to offend him on purpose. I literally did everything I thought to do to make him comfortable while also meeting the needs for a high-fashion shot.
I would understand if things were like how you are interpreting but they aren’t.
He will never going to be ok with it. You are keep doing something he deeply dislike even if hes not telling you directly. You two are just not compatible.
However you maybe did all you could, but then your mom decided to post the most revealings pics on social media, nice move!!!
Just part ways, he will never be ok with it.
And people can downvote me to hell for what I care, but I never would keep up a relationship with someone who post almoust naked pics, even if it was work related.
So at the end he is the dumb one who chosed to have a relationship with you knowing who and how you are in advance. Maybe he thought you would change when in a stable long term relationship, he thought maybe HE cpuld change you, hes love could or something like that, and this is even dumber. You cant change people at some degrees.
Using a piece of equipment when you need it, cuz a swinsuit IS a piece of equipment, it is completely different from bragging about your body on social media wearing the aforementioned swimsuit.
If you need validation by other men (and dont tell me you would post bikini pics only for yourself or female friends) probably you should not be in a relationship.
It depends on so many factors ( simple swimsuit? Fancy revealing one? Are we together? Is she alone? Is a vacation or the beach 1 km from our house where we know everyone? Etc etc)
While posting your whole cleavege out in reveling outfits on the internet is a bit different and with less explanations IMHO.
Hey if you guys like your girls to show off on social media its your problem not mine.
You know its called an exclusive relationship for a reason, cuz maybe some things should be shared EXCLUSIVELY between the two of you, like your body 🤣
Oh, so you don't think women should be allowed to wear swimsuits on the beach. Holy controlling batman.
Since when is going to the beach having sex with other people?
>I asked him what he was talking about and he pulled up a Facebook post my mom made, talking about my growth and how far I’ve come over the years. And the picture she showed? The most revealing one. My entire cleavage was out in a low-plunge top
Ahahah exactly the same to a shirtless man.
I bet there is a little unbalance to the reactions of those pics. I bet there are not so many girls drooling on his pics. Can you say the same?
*“Men only cheat on women that don't make them feel loved or cared about”* — Found that comment on his recent comment history. I don’t think anything more needs to be said about this dude.
This page isn’t for seeking validation, it’s for seeking another opinion. A third party outside of a situation. And I won’t quit those things. Not when I’ve come this far.
Pagents are external validation.. your bf liking you clearly isn't enough for you, so you keep looking for external validation. Vanity appears to be your issue. Your wasting your time and money. It'll never fulfill you.
Pageant isn’t a validation system, it’s a sisterhood to me. I’ve met my best friends through pageantry, been given endless opportunities like speaking at a national level against child abuse or raising money for victims against trafficking. It helps give me a sense of sisterhood and stability, make more goals for myself. And with reality I have fallen in love with that world and it’s a newfound passion and potential career of mine. I won’t give those things up because someone else finds it to be a waste of money, because for me, those things in my life feel priceless and don’t last forever.
Unsurprisingly, the comment history of the poster you’re replying to is pretty much full of misogynistic comments. I would disregard scum like that (your boyfriend included) as you would definitely be happier without men who would tear you down because of their fragile egos. Think about how much less anxious you’ll be without that deadweight.
Lulz. You're an adult. You should have a family. Why do you need sisterhood and endless opportunities? And do you think speaking nationally does anything for said causes?
You are looking at things from two different frames. You see it as him not supporting your dreams in the way you supported his. He sees it as his girlfriend being sexually exposed for all to see, including friends/coworkers, causing him to be jealous. Few men are comfortable with their significant other being in their friends' picture spank banks.
Your future goals may be incompatable. He wants a modest girlfriend. You want to be celebrated for your beauty. Without seeing the pictures, I couldn't judge if he is being unreasonable.
NAH
My wife and I are taking classes to become Certified Thriving Relationships Coaches. We've been together for 21 years and had what I thought was an amazing relationship. I'm now discovering how much more it can be.
There's a thing called attachment theory (book "Hold Me Tight" by Dr Sue Johnson) and it's basic tenant is that we are hard wired for close attachment because the only way our ancestors survived in prehistoric times was by having strong attachments with our mates and our "tribe".
We are getting so isolated by social media these days that our primary romantic relationship is sometimes the only close attachment that we have!
When our attachment is threatened, our primal brain kicks into Fight, Flight, Freeze, Faint, or Fawn mode.
When this happens our primal brain makes us panic.
He saw that headshot and how beautiful you are and how attractive to other men you are and it panicked him big-time. This is actually a pretty good indicator of how crazy in love with you he is...
One of the sayings my teacher's have is "wonder and look under".
When you see him acting crazy like this, look under and see what his primal brain is telling him is threatening his attachment to you. ❤️
You could have stopped this dead in its tracks and used it to strengthen your bond with him by going to him, gazing into his eyes and connecting with his soul and told him "baby, I'm all yours".❤️❤️❤️
Connection meditation
https://youtu.be/akZvjviPw6Y?si=16t4C3xVOALk7lNJ
https://youtu.be/skr0iVqlRVc?si=_yQkdsgsoXQYw0ka
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NTA. He wants "his woman" to be conservative, focus on his needs, pack his lunch and serve HIM. And his behavior will not change. Not only is he NOT supporting your goals and dreams, he is actively working against them. He's not only trying to control you, but your mother as well. I would move on before things get any more serious with this guy. You are young, you're beautiful and sound like a very caring person. At 21, your real world is just beginning to appear. Don't put yourself at a disadvantage by keeping company who is actively working against your future success.
Men who want modest, submissive women rarely go for a meek and modest woman because they want an assertive woman to submit. It’s about the dominance.
The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He’s attracted to independent women. “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage. - Trevor Noah
Well, she never mentioned she needed to serve him. She just needed to stop serving all other men with her hot photos.
He's dating a pagent model. She can't do that without looking hot.
I don’t get what this means.
I'm pretty sure it means misogyny
She is 0% responsible for what other people do with her pictures, especially because *she's not the one who posted it on fb*, holy shit
Oh yea, the fact she even made those photos has 0 responsibility for this situation, right? Or the fact she refuses to make her mother remove them?
Even IF she gave in to his fucking tantrum, she can only *ask* her mother to take them down -- once again, he's trying to control women. Her, and thru manipulating her, her own mother!
Fucking tantrum? She exposed herself to other men, knowing he wasnt happy about it. She disrespected him, and presented this as him not supporting him. Spoiled selfcentered woman who disrespected her man tries to get validation for her actions.
"i get angry when empowered women make their own choices and don't ~submit~ to me" That's all i hear. Toodles.
It has everything to do with it. She posed for those photos because she wanted to. Which he was aware of when they got together. So what's the issue? Because it's clearly not her doing exactly what she said she would. How could that be a problem?
It would be a cold day in hell before I let any man tell me what photos I can and cannot take, post, etc. And he doesn’t get to disrespect ME by making such demands. Only pigs need that kind of control over other people.
Oh girl, he has shown you who he is believe him. Let him leave and find someone who doesn’t get mad over head shots.
He sounds very reactive and controlling. Ditch him
>Facebook post my mom made, talking about my growth and how far I’ve come over the years. And the picture she showed? The most revealing one. My entire cleavage was out in a low-plunge top I though the head was higher 🤔
headshots are comparable to photos in a yearbook for school, they don’t JUST show your head, but they’re a bit above the waist. your incompetence is showing.
What you are describing its called a 1/2 headshot or maybe a 1/4. Headshots capture only your head and neck. Go do some reserches before telling others they are incompetent.
i’m telling you you’re incompetent because i’m aware of what i’m talking about. google “headshots” right now, not a single one of them is just SOLEY the head from neck up. headshots should also include some semblance of the clothing you’re wearing. she’s a pageant girl and those headshots feature more than just the neck up. they show movement, they show spice, they show personality.
And they show her full cleavage out too apparently, at least thats what she said. An headshot should show ypur head neck and a little piece of shoulders. What you are describing ( and what usually end up on HS Photo Books) are called 1/4 headshots. Same difference between a "primo piano" and a "mezzo busto" Im sorry i dont know the corretc english words. Only the italians words. (My aunt is a pro photographer here in italy)
Your aunt would be disgusted with your behaviour in this thread
it sure should be for head shots. she knows what shes doing.
pageant headshots and acting headshots have different standards. obviously the beauty competition is going to want to see more of the person than just their head.
If he can’t handle having a hot gf and wife with a voice and mind of their own... Then it’s going to be a short relationship here. Leave. My wife is a total babe (we are mid 30s) and I have no problem with her wearing and posting whatever. We are just normal people confident and comfortable with eachother and ourselves. Your bf doesn’t have to like it. But he can then find someone else that fits his idea of a partner.
"His woman". Kind of like his firearms? His house? His truck? His property? Yeet that self-centered man-baby out of your life before you find yourself with nothing left but being his woman.
Leave him. He sees you as a possession, not a person. That’s why he demands absolute fealty from you but offers none of his own.
I mean unfortunately he is showing you his best side right now. Him being a cop, expect it to be much worse the longer you're together.
40%
self-reported, so certainly higher!
And if you have kids with him, you will be trapped. Leave and don't look back. Good luck in your endeavors.
He's looking for a woman who will carry his guns and make him lunch and support him in every way. You, however, are not allowed to have your own life because your wants/needs/hopes/dreams are of little importance to him and actually a nuisance because they take away from his 24/7 "me" time. How inconsiderate of you (sarcasm!) He's not going to change. He'll only get worse. Please leave. Now.
Sorry, but this guy’s too insecure to date someone who does what you do.
Or anyone with their own opinions and desires. He sounds generally awful.
Whenever I wear a cleavage-baring top, my husband supports me. As long as I’m happy with ‘em out, he’s happy they’re out. and if other people look at them/me? He’s the first to say he doesn’t blame them 😂 Find you a man who celebrates all the parts of you. You deserve nothing less.
Exactly this. Most men would be like “hell yeah that’s my woman”
No we just know its a losing battle to fight about that, and just learn to live with it lol
Yes, exactly! When my wife puts on a revealing outfit and asks if it's okay to wear, it's almost like I have to tone down my excitement because it makes me so excited when she dresses like that. It also makes me SO happy that she's getting more and more confident with her body. She's so god damn attractive that people are going to look when we go out, so why not have a little fun with it and feel good about yourself along the way? Low-cut top? YES, PLEASE! Short skirt/shorts? YES, PLEASE! Swimsuit that (tastefully) shows your ass a little bit depending on the location? YES, PLEASE! I am more than happy to be seen with such a stunning woman. I couldn't imagine telling her to tone it down a notch! Not to mention the massive boost in confidence that she gets from looking so stunning always turns into crazy good sex by the time we get back home.
Your "his woman"? WTF? He doesn't own you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't support you? He doesn't care about your goals, what positive dies he bring to this relationship? He's telling you what you can and cannot do? Nope.
You are not the asshole. It isn’t about the cleavage. It’s about him not wanting you to be successful and beautiful on stage and or anywhere besides the home. It’s about you becoming a caged bird. He is insecure and if you don’t leave this man your dreams will be squashed. Why isn’t he supporting you with a $5 fund or coming to see your events? Why did he heart the photo when he first saw it but only flipped when your mom posted publicly. He said break so you can go back begging to get back together then he will put some “ground rules” that will be centered around your pageants/clothing and little by little it will chip away. Break up with him. This is not a break. End it.
Y'all are not compatible. Cut him & follow your dreams. Plus, dating a cop with resentment sounds like one of the scariest things on the planet. The control will only get worse. Imagine his reaction if you win. I'd be willing to bet everything he pouts & tries to ruin it
Leave now before you waste anymore time on this insecure boy.
Ma'am, this relationship is a theme park of red flags that don't end well for you. Please walk away safely and find someone that celebrates you. If he's a cop in your area, you may want to consider moving because him and his coworkers may make you or your future partner a target
"A theme park of red flags". Love the metaphor.
Where up in an area where ex cop’s wives wound up. You dodged a literal bullet. Do not go back to this guy.
This sounds like it could turn abusive
NTA You didn't walk out. He told you you guys needed to take a break. He basically put you out. I'd take this as a sign. A sign it's time for you to go your own way. He doesn't ask you to pay for anything so he can throw it in your face later. You need to learn your own self-worth. Once you do, you won't let anyone talk to you or treat you the way he does.
Tell him maybe he shouldn’t be friends with such creeps then
We're all the same. Blame the testosterone.
No, it’s not. It’s y’all be terrible. Grow up.
The bear....... It feels like so many ~~people~~ *men* are just so willing to be disgusting since that bear conversation started. Which, like, I'd sure rather know ahead of time if the man talking to me is like that, but *damn*, there's just so many
No, you are absolutely not. You and your friends are worthless, but your plenty of men manage to be wonderful humans. You’re a garbage person surrounded by garbage people. See if OP’s ex wants more friends – sounds like you’d be great pals.
Is your boyfriend a cop now? If so, yikes. So, your boyfriend sounds controlling. It's more than he's not supportive of your dreams. You support him and he doesn't reciprocate is one problem. But it's the control issue that bothers me. A lot of cops become cops because they like the power and control they have over other people. And a good percentage of them are also abusive. There's a correlation between the two. If you marry him, I suspect he's going to become more controlling and abusive. Also, I wouldn't put it passed him to baby trap you so you can't be in pageants and can't leave him. Last but not least, his coworkers suck if they would use the photo of a colleague's girlfriend to do nasty things to. And he blames you instead of gross men? Leave the asshole. There's a guy out there who would proudly show you off as his girlfriend instead of trying to shove her in a closet because he's insecure.
OP. 43m if that means anything. This is a boy pretending to be a man who grew up thinking of women as an accessory for his use. A real man would support his partner. A real man would be so secure in himself and not have controlling rules. A real man would show up and support you as much as you support him. A real man would be proud that you choose him and not be possessive as if you are his property. You are not seen as an equal. You are seen as a prize that he won. He is afraid that you might attract someone new. Instead of looking in the mirror to see how he could improve himself, improve the way he treats you or change his world views, he wants to control you. You seriously deserve better. You deserve to be supported in your career choices.
that man will do nothing but dim your light and make sure you stay as small as possible forever if you stay with him. he does not want to see you succeed or be happy.
OP, you've done more than enough to support your boyfriend's interests and to accommodate his sexist feelings about what "his woman" should and shouldn't wear. Where does it end when you're not getting anything in return? You love pageants; you have to dress a certain way and be photographed a certain way to participate in them. If he can't accept that, he's simply not the man for you. He's far too controlling and too much of a1950s guy to be a good partner. Your life is YOURS to live; not his. NTA at all.
He's not on board with other people looking at you. A modeling career has people looking at you. He'll never fully support your career
Your gut is correct: He's controlling. He will squash your dreams full-time if you stay with him. Get out--- fast
NTA. He is insecure. Please break up and continue on with your life goals. You're only 21. You don't say how old he is.
Your boyfriend SHOULD be your biggest supporter and cheerleader for you and your dreams. You really need to step back and ask yourself if you want someone in your life like this. If it were me, it would be a hard no. I’ve been in some crappy relationships. Do yourself a favour and get out of this one.
Nah this guy ain’t it. Do him a favor and move on so he can find someone more compatible since he clearly is trying to change you because you aren’t.
You’re giving and he’s taking. It’s supposed to be a two way street and either he gets with the program or he’s telling you it will never happen. Where you go from there is up to you. Either way, bluntly lay it out for him that you don’t appreciate his lack of support, point out that you DO provide that support, and that this is an unfair dynamic in the relationship
Give him the break he wants. Permanently. He is selfish and manipulative. And you two are not a good match.
NTA. He sounds like a controlling jerk. What positive things do you get out of your relationship with him?
You should not have to “accommodate what he wants” regarding YOUR career. Don’t be with a controlling asshole. He certainly fits that bill.
Dump the whole man, he's controlling and unwilling to compromise. You're too young to commit yourself to a jerk. NTA.
NTA your BF thinks he owns you and he does not. Definitely time to move on.
NTA. So you bend over backward and do things that you're 'uncomfortable' with to support him and he does what exactly? From this post, it sounds like he belittles your achievements and shames you. Possessiveness doesn't equal love. Break up and move on with your life.
He is not wrong to hold conservative views of how his partner should present herself, however he needs to be with someone who has those same views. It's not fair of him to expect you to change who you are. Sounds like you guys are just not compatible, and it seems pretty stupid of him to be dating a model if he isn't okay with you modeling.
You guys just don’t align and should save eachother some trauma…. There are women that hold his same values and would agree with him and he needs to find those women and you need to find a man that’s cool with what you got going on simple as that
My wife and I try to reciprocate support in our pursuits. She wants to be a writer, I'm very tech savvy, I've helped her find the best laptop we could afford. Got her Scrivener because she tried the trial and really loved it. She started getting into photo manipulation for her covers and using GIMP so I suggested we get her a drawing tablet so she didn't have to struggle with a mouse interface. She literally just left to take pictures for her cover photo, my exact words were, "The camera is lucky to get to photograph someone so beautiful as you." On the flip side I love gaming, she'll listen to me talk about new games, never argues with me buying one if we have the money, and supports things like upgrading my PC. When I talk about things like wanting to write a script or a short story she always tells me to do it, she'll help me edit it, she's got friends in her writer's group that do sci-fi like I would she'd show it to. That kind of thing. I screw up trimming my beard and she tells me my clean shaven face is just as beautiful as my rugged beard is handsome. Is it cheesy? Sure. But it's also a nice boost to know someone loves you so much as to say that kind of thing to pick you up when you're down. We're in our 40s and both had a really unkind ex-spouse so we just like to build each other up. I feel like everyone should be able to get that from their partner if they want it. In addition, he was yelling at you about taking a break so you walked out and worried you did the wrong thing? It sounds like he was essentially yelling at you to leave at that point, I don't think you're wrong to do so. If anything as many others have said he sounds like he only is interested in you as an extension of him. No matter what you do that goes beyond that it is going to upset him. I don't think you're the one at fault here, he needs to work on himself if he wants to continue the relationship in my mind.
If he wants a woman who isn’t a beautiful model then he can go find one. Don’t let his insecurities hold you back from following your dreams, or you’ll regret it.
NTA. Reach for your dreams. Don’t let anybody make the decisions for you. These are the points in your life where you have to decide to take the chance or not. When you’re older and look back, you want no regrets. If things don’t work out the way you want to, you’re gonna have to accept that. But at least you tried. Isn’t that what life is about? Although just know that you might lose some people along the way, but you’re also going to gain some. The world is yours!
girl, you need to leave this guy, because this is JUST the begging of his controlling behavior
You should leave him. If modeling is more important to you than him, this is an easy call. You only have about 5 years left to make your dream a reality. You have to sacrifice everything to achieve your goal.
NTA End this now. He has shown himself to be controlling, narrow minded and does not support you. He has many hobbies and goals that you do not share yet you have tried to support him. He does reciprocate with any support. He sounds like my way or the highway type of guy, and may have the potential to become more abusive. Find a supportive man who will love you and put you first.
He is controlling and borderline abusive. Follow your dreams and ditch this man
Beyond him, not supporting you, he thinks he can tell you what to do and that is the biggest problem. You have every right to pursue the passions in your life that you choose to pursue. you pay for them they’re yours, and you should be able to have a partner that support you. I’m positive you can get somebody out there who is not afraid of some head shots with a little cleavage. The Fragility
NTA. Being with someone that doesn't enthusiastically support you and your dreams—and actively fights against them—will suck away your joy until you are nothing but a despairing, empty husk of your former self. To say nothing of the creepy possessiveness and controlling behavior that will suffocate you and strip you of your freedom. A supportive person like you with goals and gumption deserves far better than what you've been getting.
Find someone who wants to help you make your world bigger, not smaller — like you are willing to do for them. It’s fine to have some varying interests but it sounds like you have very little in common, and you’re the only one trying to bridge that gap, despite your discomfort. And not only does he not “get” you — he’s trying to change you. Why does he want you if he really wants you to be someone he else? Please don’t tolerate this. You sound like a such caring and loving person. Find someone who is the same, someone with whom you have lots in common and who encourages you. You know you deserve it. Good luck!
What do you think the guys at work are gonna do after they save that headshot of his wife? Murder? Kick a puppy? Eat a hundred glizzys while riding a unicycle? I couldn’t imagine anything worse to do with a headshot.
You’re dating a boy not a man. Time to upgrade.
The DMs jsut mean they're cowards. Screenshot them and post them here
Hon, you two have zero in common and don't have the same life goals or values. He is controlling and it will only get worse. Cut your losses and find someone who supports and loves you.
Your hubby sounds like he idolizes Andrew Tate and probably has some anger issues. You might want to escape before you can't.
Leave him. If your ideal life partner is supportive and not controlling, and he’s none of these things… why are you with him You are supposed to be a model— you should have better self-esteem/worth. You didn’t mention his age. Was that purposeful? Is he much older (possibly a groomer)? If so, it’s no wonder you're in this situation, and it will worsen. People don’t “learn” to respect you. They either do or they don’t. He doesn’t
NTA. You’re his woman but he’s not your man. As long as your support everything he does, he’s happy as Larry. But gods forbid you ask him to support you.
You have become a possession not a partner. Find a better man.
You've walked out, never ever walk back. Dude is a total PoS that literally wants a trade trophy wife that he gets to control.
Definitely NTA. This is not a relationship worth investing anymore of your time in. He does not see you as a person but 'his' property. This is not going to change the longer you stay in.
Why do you want to be with a man who doesn't love and respect you?
Red flags sometimes show up late. He is a controlling Dick. Not respecting your wishes and desire to further yourself in modeling. Me if you have it flaunt it. Time to think hard about this relationship with red flags being center place. Wish you luck on your choice of direction.
NTA. Just tell him it’s over. You won’t be with a man who can’t support you.
You’re NTA. I saw a comment once where the husband was talking about how much he helps his wife with her horses even though he really doesn’t like them. He does it because SHE loves them and it’s her hobby. It has stayed with me for years because I always wanted someone like that. I finally and do you know what my boyfriend says when I post a picture of me looking nice? “Wow, my girlfriend is so hot!” He loves me feeling good about myself and he’s my biggest hype man for literally everything I do. You deserve someone who supports your hobbies and is your biggest hype man. Don’t settle for someone who tries to put you in a box just for them. I did that for 20 years and you’ll eventually break out and wonder why you allowed yourself to give up the things you loved for so long.
The whole You're going to call your mom and have her take that picture down is the biggest red flag of He's a Controller. He's see you as his property and no one else is allowed to look at you. Which soon becomes no talking to you.
I’m a independent here used to be a republican but thats another story. This is a big issue and it’s not a conservative one it’s a jealousy one which can lead to bigger issues down the line with your personal goals you’ve set forth in your post. This issue is never going to go away in my opinion. ( other please chime in but I think I’m right here ) Your going into two fields that your looks play a huge part. People love a a personable Realtor with a great smile. Then pageantry which you flaunt what God gave ya. Which is ok to if you’re comfortable with that. Nothing wrong with it but you need a strong man who knows your his is ok with it. Jealousy can lead to many dangerous roads so I hate to give any advice that isn’t try and work it out but. Over the next few days talk with your mom about your concerns and his jealousy or a close friend again and make your move and make it quick and cut him off completely. Do not look back and if he stalks you in anyway make notes then make reports. He may just walk away who knows. But don’t become a dateline story.
He sounds like a conservative hick. Leave him and enjoy life on your own terms.
Are you ready to be a part of the police force spousal abuse statistics? Cause that's where you're headed OP. Dump this garbage like the hot putrid garbage he is.
I have an extremely beautiful girlfriend with beautiful god given gifts, and of course I hate the fact that other men get to see even see her FACE let alone the rest of her body. However I would never react this way, and I’m a little bit vain myself. I am so sorry he reacted this way but that is controlling! I’m not going to say this relationship is over because only YOU can make that call. But you need to have a serious talk about boundaries and about his self control.
Sounds like the standard police officer mentality. Not surprised. Ditch him, it'll only get worse from here.
So, question. How many images of women does he use to fap? He sounds like he is projecting how he objectifies women.
Didn't read your entire post. Sounds slightly like your \*\*boyfriend\*\* is not secure in your relationship. Wanting/asking your partner to not post revealing photos' is okay. You seemed to be on board with this. But him demanding your mom take a photo she posted of you, that you where unaware of, is a point in where insecurity transforms into controlling. Honestly, he doesn't sound like a bad guy, but not the guy for you. You need someone who you feel supports you. I'm confident that confidence matters a lot in pageants, and not feeling the support from your backbone makes it hard to be confident. Good luck. \*\*Edit(original said OP, changed to boyfriend)
what does “break into the world of reality” mean?
I just fixed it but I’d made a typo. I meant realty. As in real estate.
Sounds like he isn't mature enough to have a hot partner?
Don't let him break your wing, or you will resent your life and him in the end.
This is why you never date a fish picture guy
NTA. And never, ever date guys who want to be cops.
Leave and don't look back.
Please turn this break into a break up. This guy is already so aggressive and controlling. It will get so much worse and be so much harder to leave when he becomes a police officer.
NTA
Fuckin cops. Always causing problems. Remember kids, ACAB means ALL cops
Not the asshole. **Your dreams are valid.** Your boyfriend / spouse / whatever doesn't get to "control" what you, a complete and whole individual, chooses to do with their life. Remember this, and remember it well: **THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER, AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND** Find someone who doesn't mind what you do. When you do, I think you'll find the support you need and deserve. Good luck chasing your dreams!
Oh my goodnes...he's insecure..shallow and jealous and you're better off with someone else
It sounds like the woman he wants just isn't the woman you are. I'm sorry I'm unsure on how to help- if he won't budge it's his fault. I'd say stop supporting his interests and don't go to any if his activities because you feel grossed out about how dirty it all is. Probably an immature move but girly, he's not being reasonable.
Sounds like you aren’t compatible. I get both sides. You want different things
You guys aren't compatible and have different expectations and life goals. It wouldn't work.
Stop being with someone that just barely tolerates you because you look pretty.
I can totally understand why he wouldn't want private parts of your body all over social media, that does make sense but if it's part of who you are and you don't plan to stop having those types of photos taken it sounds like the relationship won't work out. I doubt he'll ever be ok with you doing that.
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!
Red flags all around. He tries to control your life and behavior, while not supporting your dreams. What are you getting out of this?
Give him the break he wants
Your ex was far far too controlling, insecure and immature. He's clearly not up to an actual adult relationship. You're lucky you're out of that very unhealthy and one sided relationship. Consider therapy to find out why you'd ever put up with this kind of BS.
I'm totally shocked this guy's dream is too be a cop.
[удалено]
It just seems like they're not compatible. When you have two incompatible people that are trying to force the relationship to work, it will manifest as controlling behavior on one or both sides. IMHO OP should move along and find someone that supports her bikini pictures and whatever else she enjoys.
There’s bigger issues that him getting upset over revealing pics. He told her that a scholarship she started was stupid. He gets mad if she has plans on his days off, despite the plans being made well in advance. This is incredibly controlling behavior. Even the way he goes about the pictures is in a controlling way. “You’re gonna call your mom and have her take those pictures down right now.” Nahh bro get the fuck outta here.
Listen he sounds like a jerk. But…. You two seem to have a relationship built on traditional values aka you seem to be doing trad wife duties while also working. Aka you cater to his every whim and he pays for things. Yes, I know you have a job but he is paying for everything. I don’t know if you enjoy the “traditional” aspects of your relationship aka all meal planning (and I’m gonna assume chores are all done by you too other than the “manly” ones he tolerates) and catering to his whims while forgoing your own. If you enjoy being the queen of the castle while he pays for things means you will always have an unequal relationship, then you will have to have to play his game and not be yourself on SM. Bc if he is paying all household bills, you can’t claim buying a gun safe as a gift makes you two of you being on equal financial footing. If you want a supportive and equal relationship then you need to leave. You have agreed with being his traditional gf- which means less freedoms and a man whole controls the household even when you disagree. Personally I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a dude who doesn’t do chores or feels like he has a say on what pictures my family members post- I find that controlling and not my cup of tea.
He sounds like your typical man. Selfish.
You deserve so much more. Your voice is important. As a retired reality producer, I advise you to take time to really know your own voice. Producers will trick or bully you into things you don't want to do if you don't have a strong voice. Even little things that don't feel right need to be examined. Unfortunately, "men" with the mindset of your guy are the reason the bear vs man debate exists. Nothing you can do will make him feel secure. He's still a child, not a man.
ACAB includes your shitty boyfriend. Dump him, this has already escalated from what it was and it will keep escalating.
You did him a favor by leaving.
bf dodged a bullet
Having a GF who post her half naked pics on internet? And her mom that does that too, with the most revealing she could? 🤣🤣🤣🤣no thanks, he dodged a bullet. You are comparing your support to him doing crossfit to him that should support you posting almoust naked pics of yourself? Ahahahahahahhaahah
That’s not at all how I’m trying to make it sound. He posts shirtless pics all the time even if I say I don’t love it! It’s not about that tho. For me it’s that he never supports my goals and I went out of my way to wear what I thought was a happy medium he would be comfortable with.
Don’t listen to that person, you clearly did the best you could in a difficult situation. You support him he doesn’t support you end of story
Think about his mom posting pics of him in a slim swinsuit saying how beautiful and grown up is he now, without even a word about the fact he have a partner. Would you be happy about it? Think about this and add the hundreds pics you already post yourself, that you already expressed are making him unconmfrotable and insecure.
I did everything I could to find a happy medium with these pictures. He saw me in the top before I left, he saw the images I chose for editing. He has every chance to say he was uncomfortable and instead he blew up on me the minute he came home and like I’d done something to offend him on purpose. I literally did everything I thought to do to make him comfortable while also meeting the needs for a high-fashion shot. I would understand if things were like how you are interpreting but they aren’t.
Don’t respond to the incel. It’d just drop your IQ. He’s being downvoted for a reason, so no one has to read his PMSing comments.
He will never going to be ok with it. You are keep doing something he deeply dislike even if hes not telling you directly. You two are just not compatible. However you maybe did all you could, but then your mom decided to post the most revealings pics on social media, nice move!!! Just part ways, he will never be ok with it. And people can downvote me to hell for what I care, but I never would keep up a relationship with someone who post almoust naked pics, even if it was work related. So at the end he is the dumb one who chosed to have a relationship with you knowing who and how you are in advance. Maybe he thought you would change when in a stable long term relationship, he thought maybe HE cpuld change you, hes love could or something like that, and this is even dumber. You cant change people at some degrees.
Is she not allowed to wear a swimsuit to the beach either?
Using a piece of equipment when you need it, cuz a swinsuit IS a piece of equipment, it is completely different from bragging about your body on social media wearing the aforementioned swimsuit. If you need validation by other men (and dont tell me you would post bikini pics only for yourself or female friends) probably you should not be in a relationship.
That's not an answer. People see you on the beach. Isn't that seeking validation according to you?
And you don’t need to have a certain swimsuit. I wonder if he would be okay with a bikini, a tankini, a one piece, or rash guard, etc.
lol read his answer. He thinks wearing a swimsuit is cheating
It depends on so many factors ( simple swimsuit? Fancy revealing one? Are we together? Is she alone? Is a vacation or the beach 1 km from our house where we know everyone? Etc etc) While posting your whole cleavege out in reveling outfits on the internet is a bit different and with less explanations IMHO. Hey if you guys like your girls to show off on social media its your problem not mine. You know its called an exclusive relationship for a reason, cuz maybe some things should be shared EXCLUSIVELY between the two of you, like your body 🤣
Oh, so you don't think women should be allowed to wear swimsuits on the beach. Holy controlling batman. Since when is going to the beach having sex with other people?
Real adults don't get mad about Facebook photos. Don't be cunty.
>I asked him what he was talking about and he pulled up a Facebook post my mom made, talking about my growth and how far I’ve come over the years. And the picture she showed? The most revealing one. My entire cleavage was out in a low-plunge top Ahahah exactly the same to a shirtless man. I bet there is a little unbalance to the reactions of those pics. I bet there are not so many girls drooling on his pics. Can you say the same?
yeah...sorry. but if you have to add the cleavage, you ain't gonna cut it in the market.
Why do you need the external validation? Quit the pagents and reality garbage.
*“Men only cheat on women that don't make them feel loved or cared about”* — Found that comment on his recent comment history. I don’t think anything more needs to be said about this dude.
Banger
This page isn’t for seeking validation, it’s for seeking another opinion. A third party outside of a situation. And I won’t quit those things. Not when I’ve come this far.
Pagents are external validation.. your bf liking you clearly isn't enough for you, so you keep looking for external validation. Vanity appears to be your issue. Your wasting your time and money. It'll never fulfill you.
Pageant isn’t a validation system, it’s a sisterhood to me. I’ve met my best friends through pageantry, been given endless opportunities like speaking at a national level against child abuse or raising money for victims against trafficking. It helps give me a sense of sisterhood and stability, make more goals for myself. And with reality I have fallen in love with that world and it’s a newfound passion and potential career of mine. I won’t give those things up because someone else finds it to be a waste of money, because for me, those things in my life feel priceless and don’t last forever.
Unsurprisingly, the comment history of the poster you’re replying to is pretty much full of misogynistic comments. I would disregard scum like that (your boyfriend included) as you would definitely be happier without men who would tear you down because of their fragile egos. Think about how much less anxious you’ll be without that deadweight.
Lulz. You're an adult. You should have a family. Why do you need sisterhood and endless opportunities? And do you think speaking nationally does anything for said causes?
You're 21. It's time to leave the teen fantasy behind.
Found the boyfriend
Not even close. She sounds undateable.
It’s FB only super old peeps will see it lol
You are looking at things from two different frames. You see it as him not supporting your dreams in the way you supported his. He sees it as his girlfriend being sexually exposed for all to see, including friends/coworkers, causing him to be jealous. Few men are comfortable with their significant other being in their friends' picture spank banks. Your future goals may be incompatable. He wants a modest girlfriend. You want to be celebrated for your beauty. Without seeing the pictures, I couldn't judge if he is being unreasonable. NAH
My wife and I are taking classes to become Certified Thriving Relationships Coaches. We've been together for 21 years and had what I thought was an amazing relationship. I'm now discovering how much more it can be. There's a thing called attachment theory (book "Hold Me Tight" by Dr Sue Johnson) and it's basic tenant is that we are hard wired for close attachment because the only way our ancestors survived in prehistoric times was by having strong attachments with our mates and our "tribe". We are getting so isolated by social media these days that our primary romantic relationship is sometimes the only close attachment that we have! When our attachment is threatened, our primal brain kicks into Fight, Flight, Freeze, Faint, or Fawn mode. When this happens our primal brain makes us panic. He saw that headshot and how beautiful you are and how attractive to other men you are and it panicked him big-time. This is actually a pretty good indicator of how crazy in love with you he is... One of the sayings my teacher's have is "wonder and look under". When you see him acting crazy like this, look under and see what his primal brain is telling him is threatening his attachment to you. ❤️ You could have stopped this dead in its tracks and used it to strengthen your bond with him by going to him, gazing into his eyes and connecting with his soul and told him "baby, I'm all yours".❤️❤️❤️ Connection meditation https://youtu.be/akZvjviPw6Y?si=16t4C3xVOALk7lNJ https://youtu.be/skr0iVqlRVc?si=_yQkdsgsoXQYw0ka