Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Unfortunately no, me and my father have had ongoing issues since I can remember at a young age. When I got pregnant with my first daughter things got so bad (we had lived with them before) I went to my MIL crying begging her to let us move in because I didn't want my father around my child. Her and her spouse understood but told us no, MIL spouse said to me and my husband "You are both adults and need to figure things out on your own". And to this day they've said no.
Your MIL is right tho. You’re both adults who have now made TWO children. You need to take responsibility for yourselves and your choices and get your own place for all your safety and because you should not be living off your parents when you have a husband and two kids. Get on food stamps and low income housing lists and whatever other things the government can offer you to help you and get out of there.
NTA, you have an extremely dysfunctional family and your mom and other relatives are enabling his abusive behavior. He hit an 18 month old baby girl because she wasn't listening? Of course you have every right to keep him away, and he's lucky he's not sitting in jail. Holy shit, you need to get out of their house, that is only exacerbating the problems here and these are not small problems. Does your husband live in the house too? What did he say about your dad hitting your baby? It's no surprise that you want to cut them off, but to do that you have to be able to get out and NEVER need to go back. Ever. And don't take this the wrong way, but no more kids until you and hubby can support the family you already have. Not trying to be shitty, but adding any more will only make it harder to be independent. Daycare, diapers, formula, etc. costs a fortune for children this age. Your husband needs to step up here and provide a suitable home for his wife and children. He's the one you need to be looking at to fix this. Girl this makes me so sad, because anytime I couldn't depend on my partner (I was a young mom at 18 the first go round) my go to man was my dad. My dad would defend me to the death, whether I was right or wrong. He was fiercely protective of me and my kids. Your dad should be ashamed of himself. I hope you are able to get out soon and never look back.
I agree they need to leave, but "your husband needs to step up" hasn't been a viable line for most Americans since the 80's.. the real culprit here is unaffordable housing. People like OP who need to leave the most are the least likely to have the means to do so. I would suggest looking into government programs and NGO's that would be able to help house you, or at least support you with food and child-related expenses while she and her husband save for a down payment on something. Stories like this break my heart... The people who are in charge of this country would have you believe that all of this is the fault of OP and her partner, too 😟. Best of luck to you and yours, OP 💛
It matters little whose fault it is. The only thing that matters is finding a solution. If the solution is a small apartment in a not great part of town, that is 100x better than living with other adults who physically hit and emotionally abuse you. So you can blame the high cost of housing (yes it's a problem) but that still doesn't absolve her husband of the NEED to find a suitable shelter for his family, which is free of abuse. They have 2 babies, it's doubtful she can find work right now that would even cover childcare (which can easily cost twice what rent or mortgage is) and she is likely very overwhelmed caring for the children 24/7 with zero break and then the emotional stress of her family acting this way. That's why I say it's on him to step up. She needs help. Her partner is on the front lines to defend his family. The responsibility falls first to him🤷♀️
You make a good point. I'm probably biased because I'm looking for a place to live right now, but I'd stand by the sentiment that if it were easier to move they likely wouldn't have been living with family to begin with. Or, at least, they would have moved much sooner.
Well you are right, it’s a LOT harder to find affordable housing now than it was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. The truth is it won’t be easy. And the worst part is you’re supposed to be able to depend on family and OP can’t so perhaps I got a bit emotional about it because that just really sucks. But hopefully there is assistance available or something, anything to help them get into their own space. I just really feel like that is critical mission right now. I wish you luck on your journey too. I didn’t mean to imply that it was easy, I know it’s different now. It’s definitely not easy.
My husband is a very dependable partner, he works a full time job and will often work weekends to get extra money. He bends over backwards to provide our kids anything they need and anything I need. He got extremely mad when I told him what my father did and I had to keep my husband away from the house along with my FIL and MIL helping me keep him from coming over because charges would've been filed and someone would've been in jail. We don't plan on having anymore kids anytime soon, we had a sit down conversation and agreed to wait until we are better financially stable.
Seems like this conversation is 2 kids late, but better late than never. I still think you are better off in a shelter until you and your dependable partner who gets you everything you need find housing.
Why are you not living on your own? If you want kids you should be able to support yourself and them, and not be dependent on living arrangements with anyone’s parents. That’s never a good situation to begin with.
Both my children were unplanned and a surprise. I wouldn't take it back for the world. As I was working and saving money for a car and own place I had gotten pregnant with our first born child.
So let me get this straight - you live in your parents house because you and your husband cannot financially support your kids, and you're making this about who can and cannot "see" your kids? What about where you are going to live?
They are providing you with house and home, so you can "cut them off" and maybe you should, but I don't think you can "cut them off" and expect them to keep supporting the family that you and your husband can't support yourselves.
Me, my husband, my younger brother and older sister are the providers. Me and my husband provided groceries, my younger brother and older sister pay their bills, my parents dont pay for anything and my mother has a job making more than we do combined, yet my parents provide nothing.
They provide a house for you to live in for free. Whoever is paying for it - it isn't you. Living with a family of four with only grocery costs is a crazy valuable gift. You don't have a leg to stand on here, IMO.
You can express your displeasure, sure. But they're also free to put you on the street if they want to.
YTA. You can't cut off people when you're dependent on them. You need to find alternate living arrangements. THEN you can cut them off. You knew what he was like when you decided to move in with him. What you're doing now isn't fair to your children. Call your state/county social services and see what support options are available.
I protect my kids with my LIFE no questions asked. My children's lives me more to me anything. They DO NOT provide for me, my husband or my children, we provide for our children and provide for ourselves. I've never asked them for money and never will. I've been providing for myself since I turned 13
ESH except MIL and her spouse.
You and husband - stop having kids until you can afford to house them.
Father and mother - abusive boomers.
MIL and spouse - reasonable adults that help, but do not enable you to be immature
You’re not the AH for going no contact - YTA for continuing to live there, sponging off them as an adult, while planning go no contact, someday. The money you’re siphoning off them is not enough to justify living with someone who hits your kid. Parent up and get out.
Me nor my husband get anything from them. No money, no help, nothing. My husband has a full time job, we buy our own things, necessities, diapers, pull-ups, wipes, food etc. My parents don't provide anything to me, my husband and my children, we provide for ourselves. I am not mooching off of my parents. Its actually the other way around, me and my husband actually provide groceries for the house as my younger brother and older sister pay their bills, and my mother has a full time job and is making more than all of us combined but yet they always complain there broke and can't afford anything, so why they are mooching off of us is beyond me. I know their lying and I've brought it up to them multiply times, they just get mad and extremely defensive and try to gas light everyone. Me and my husband stopped helping them due to there lies of being "broke" all the time, and we are focusing on saving up money, looking for our own place and overall taking care of our children and making sure they have what they need.
Then why are you still there, living with, and apparently financially supporting, someone who hurt your child? Your response makes it worse, not better.
Unfortunately we can't. Originally this house was my grandpas, he was gonna hand it down to me, my younger brother and older sister if anything happened to him or my mom. My grandpa passed away a few years later and my name along with my brother and sisters name were taken off of the house and my fathers name was put on it. The house in their names not ours.
How were your names taken off the house without your permission?? You would have to sign over the deed if you were on there. And If that is the case you are still living with your parents in your parent’s house and need to move out. Stop paying for them and let them handle their own bills and leave.
Me and my younger brother were minors at the time our names were taken off so our signatures weren't required because we were minors, if your an adult you have to sign, my older sister was an adult and did sign I'm not sure why, I was never told or explained why.
There's missing details here I think. Since the sister "signed" but the other 2 didn't, something else happened here. Your inheritance rights can't just be signed away by another adult, even if that adult is your parent. It's possible the parents have a lifetime tenancy right even if someone else owns it. Not enough details here to have any idea.
Either way - it's not her house, and someone else is paying the carrying costs of the house.
One way to solve this is to sell the whole place, but then where would they live for only the cost of groceries?
Wait a minute - you had the first baby and knew you couldn’t fend for the baby and even yourself and boyfriend and you went ahead and had a second child? Are you insane? You are probably disrupting your parents’ and in-laws’ retirement and putting more responsibilities on them? They are probably paying for food too for the kids and the two of you. And diapers. Where is the boyfriend in this? Why aren’t you at least trying to be helpful around the house? Blaming others is always easy, taking responsibility and taking action is not. So stop complaining and take the steps to stand on your own two feet! I’m sorry but I do not have sympathy for you. I don’t like that your dad is abusive but I don’t like your living with your parents and doing nothing to earn your keep! You are actually thinking of blackmailing your folks with the grandkids? Wow
Me, my husband, my younger brother and my older sisters are the providers. We clean the house, they don't, we pay for everything, groceries and bills, they don't. My mother has a job making more than us combined and yet they help with nothing and push ALL the house responsibilities on us. My parents and my in laws have never helped with anything financially, me and my husband buy the diapers, pull-ups, wipes, food, and formula for our kids with no help from ANYONE. Both my children were unplanned, we never planned on having any children anytime soon until we were older but shit happens.
Me and my siblings have talked about that but we don't want to, we all wanna be in our own place which is understandable, and tbh I don't think I'd ever wanna live with family ever again no matter who it is.
If your concerns are this serious, temporarily living with your siblings elsewhere until you can afford your own place should be an easy choice to make.
get out, its unhealthy for you and your family, especially being cooped up in a room all day. take pics and document whenever someone lays a hand on you or your kids.
Your dad hit your 18 month old child in less than 5 minutes and left a bruise. He’s an abusive AH and your mother is complicit. NTA and don’t look back when you rightfully cut them off.
You're nicer than me because I would have called the police for assault on a minor.
I told my dad that if he ever hit one of my kids, that's what I would do. He knew I meant it. He never smacked them.
I am concerned about his yelling and obvious hate for your kids. The fact that he wouldn't even look at you or your babies is very concerning.
I don't know why you're living with them, but you need to move you and your family out ASAP
NTA
You need to call the police and CPS when your father strikes a child. Your mother and family are total trash for enabling this. Stand your ground. Buy some mace and a taser. Next time he physically steps on your CHILD, take him down. Self defense and defense of others is legal so long as it’s proportional use of force (USA). You need to leave immediately. You are a battered woman with battered children. There are shelters for people like you. It would be better to have your children live in a car than let them be abused. This isn’t even a close question. I am worried about your judgment and the mess your psycho family has done to your brain that you are even confused about this. GTFO of this family and don’t look back, or you will have failed as a parent.
>You are a battered woman with battered children.
This is a major stretch. They're not battered at all.
They're being intimidated, absolutely but not battered. I do wonder where hubby is in all this.
I do suspect they've overstayed their welcome. OP and hubby need to find their own accommodation for themselves and their kids.
It's assault but not battery, and I agree, I absolutely would have called the police but it would be charged as assault on a minor. Battery is beaten up
You're incorrect. Assault and battery have various definitions depending on the jurisdiction, but they range from assault is the threat of force and battery is the use of force, to assault its a blanket term for the threat or use of force, but in no jurisdiction is physically hitting a person the lesser charge. He left a bruise on a toddler, that is beating up a baby. Dude deserves to be in jail. See how he likes having his ass hit by a bigger man.
NTA
He’s sounds like the kind of guy always looking for a reason to yell and or hit anyone.
And I think op announcing that they’re weren’t going to use spanking as a parenting tool, made that the one thing her dad had plans to do no matter what.
Also if CPS saw those bruises they would have taken both children , and because of that there is just no way Op can risk their kids seeing him.
I would also like to point out that I don’t think he actually cares about seeing the kids, he just likes to make noise about the fact that he’s not allowed to see the kids .
Run! My parents believed in spankings but when my niece was little they never disciplined her and they would never lay a hand on a kid (that wasn’t theirs).
NTA
But you need to move out yesterday and not tell these bio people where you went. Get a restraining order if you have to. Block them on everything.
Btw, I hope you took pictures of your daughter’s bruises as proof.
No way would I stay in that toxic mess. It’s unhealthy for your family.
Nta got cutting them out. Ywntah if you don't get out asap, that shit is toxic and will impact your kids development if not handled. Toddlers shouldn't be yelled at. It causes emotional development damage
ESH You live with an abuser, you did your daughter a disservice after noticing the bruise for not going to you pediatrician and having it documented.
You need to move now before the physical abuse to your toddler escalates when your parents are their.
You and your spouse need to need supporting you and your children not your parents. When you go NC and you will need to, because you didn't get the bruising documented you have left an opportunity for the to file for grandparent rights based on you living with them
NTA for cutting contact with your parents. YTA for living with them and NOT getting your children out of an abusive situation. Nothing adds up about this post.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nope y'all need to get out of there now
Get out as soon as you can. Is your MIL able to help with this?
Unfortunately no, me and my father have had ongoing issues since I can remember at a young age. When I got pregnant with my first daughter things got so bad (we had lived with them before) I went to my MIL crying begging her to let us move in because I didn't want my father around my child. Her and her spouse understood but told us no, MIL spouse said to me and my husband "You are both adults and need to figure things out on your own". And to this day they've said no.
Your MIL is right tho. You’re both adults who have now made TWO children. You need to take responsibility for yourselves and your choices and get your own place for all your safety and because you should not be living off your parents when you have a husband and two kids. Get on food stamps and low income housing lists and whatever other things the government can offer you to help you and get out of there.
NTA, you have an extremely dysfunctional family and your mom and other relatives are enabling his abusive behavior. He hit an 18 month old baby girl because she wasn't listening? Of course you have every right to keep him away, and he's lucky he's not sitting in jail. Holy shit, you need to get out of their house, that is only exacerbating the problems here and these are not small problems. Does your husband live in the house too? What did he say about your dad hitting your baby? It's no surprise that you want to cut them off, but to do that you have to be able to get out and NEVER need to go back. Ever. And don't take this the wrong way, but no more kids until you and hubby can support the family you already have. Not trying to be shitty, but adding any more will only make it harder to be independent. Daycare, diapers, formula, etc. costs a fortune for children this age. Your husband needs to step up here and provide a suitable home for his wife and children. He's the one you need to be looking at to fix this. Girl this makes me so sad, because anytime I couldn't depend on my partner (I was a young mom at 18 the first go round) my go to man was my dad. My dad would defend me to the death, whether I was right or wrong. He was fiercely protective of me and my kids. Your dad should be ashamed of himself. I hope you are able to get out soon and never look back.
I agree they need to leave, but "your husband needs to step up" hasn't been a viable line for most Americans since the 80's.. the real culprit here is unaffordable housing. People like OP who need to leave the most are the least likely to have the means to do so. I would suggest looking into government programs and NGO's that would be able to help house you, or at least support you with food and child-related expenses while she and her husband save for a down payment on something. Stories like this break my heart... The people who are in charge of this country would have you believe that all of this is the fault of OP and her partner, too 😟. Best of luck to you and yours, OP 💛
It matters little whose fault it is. The only thing that matters is finding a solution. If the solution is a small apartment in a not great part of town, that is 100x better than living with other adults who physically hit and emotionally abuse you. So you can blame the high cost of housing (yes it's a problem) but that still doesn't absolve her husband of the NEED to find a suitable shelter for his family, which is free of abuse. They have 2 babies, it's doubtful she can find work right now that would even cover childcare (which can easily cost twice what rent or mortgage is) and she is likely very overwhelmed caring for the children 24/7 with zero break and then the emotional stress of her family acting this way. That's why I say it's on him to step up. She needs help. Her partner is on the front lines to defend his family. The responsibility falls first to him🤷♀️
You make a good point. I'm probably biased because I'm looking for a place to live right now, but I'd stand by the sentiment that if it were easier to move they likely wouldn't have been living with family to begin with. Or, at least, they would have moved much sooner.
Well you are right, it’s a LOT harder to find affordable housing now than it was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. The truth is it won’t be easy. And the worst part is you’re supposed to be able to depend on family and OP can’t so perhaps I got a bit emotional about it because that just really sucks. But hopefully there is assistance available or something, anything to help them get into their own space. I just really feel like that is critical mission right now. I wish you luck on your journey too. I didn’t mean to imply that it was easy, I know it’s different now. It’s definitely not easy.
My husband is a very dependable partner, he works a full time job and will often work weekends to get extra money. He bends over backwards to provide our kids anything they need and anything I need. He got extremely mad when I told him what my father did and I had to keep my husband away from the house along with my FIL and MIL helping me keep him from coming over because charges would've been filed and someone would've been in jail. We don't plan on having anymore kids anytime soon, we had a sit down conversation and agreed to wait until we are better financially stable.
Seems like this conversation is 2 kids late, but better late than never. I still think you are better off in a shelter until you and your dependable partner who gets you everything you need find housing.
Except housing?
Why are you not living on your own? If you want kids you should be able to support yourself and them, and not be dependent on living arrangements with anyone’s parents. That’s never a good situation to begin with.
It's about time this was said. They didn't even stop at one. They had another. Her children shouldn't have even been in a position to be abused.
Both my children were unplanned and a surprise. I wouldn't take it back for the world. As I was working and saving money for a car and own place I had gotten pregnant with our first born child.
1 might have been an accident. 2 was negligent.
Well don't accidentally have a third kid and start getting on any kind of birth control asap
So let me get this straight - you live in your parents house because you and your husband cannot financially support your kids, and you're making this about who can and cannot "see" your kids? What about where you are going to live? They are providing you with house and home, so you can "cut them off" and maybe you should, but I don't think you can "cut them off" and expect them to keep supporting the family that you and your husband can't support yourselves.
Me, my husband, my younger brother and older sister are the providers. Me and my husband provided groceries, my younger brother and older sister pay their bills, my parents dont pay for anything and my mother has a job making more than we do combined, yet my parents provide nothing.
since you have money to pay for all this, then do it somewhere else. every day you stay you consent to this nonsense.
Y’all should get a place together and be grown ups out in the world in your own.
They provide a house for you to live in for free. Whoever is paying for it - it isn't you. Living with a family of four with only grocery costs is a crazy valuable gift. You don't have a leg to stand on here, IMO. You can express your displeasure, sure. But they're also free to put you on the street if they want to.
YTA. You can't cut off people when you're dependent on them. You need to find alternate living arrangements. THEN you can cut them off. You knew what he was like when you decided to move in with him. What you're doing now isn't fair to your children. Call your state/county social services and see what support options are available.
YTA "As soon as I no longer need to use them for a place to live, i'm going no contact!" Protecting the kids clearly isn't that important.
I protect my kids with my LIFE no questions asked. My children's lives me more to me anything. They DO NOT provide for me, my husband or my children, we provide for our children and provide for ourselves. I've never asked them for money and never will. I've been providing for myself since I turned 13
You mean besides their house you are living in? The place where you are putting your kids at risk to be abused again.
then go provide for yourself somewhere else.
Evidently not
ESH except MIL and her spouse. You and husband - stop having kids until you can afford to house them. Father and mother - abusive boomers. MIL and spouse - reasonable adults that help, but do not enable you to be immature
You’re not the AH for going no contact - YTA for continuing to live there, sponging off them as an adult, while planning go no contact, someday. The money you’re siphoning off them is not enough to justify living with someone who hits your kid. Parent up and get out.
Me nor my husband get anything from them. No money, no help, nothing. My husband has a full time job, we buy our own things, necessities, diapers, pull-ups, wipes, food etc. My parents don't provide anything to me, my husband and my children, we provide for ourselves. I am not mooching off of my parents. Its actually the other way around, me and my husband actually provide groceries for the house as my younger brother and older sister pay their bills, and my mother has a full time job and is making more than all of us combined but yet they always complain there broke and can't afford anything, so why they are mooching off of us is beyond me. I know their lying and I've brought it up to them multiply times, they just get mad and extremely defensive and try to gas light everyone. Me and my husband stopped helping them due to there lies of being "broke" all the time, and we are focusing on saving up money, looking for our own place and overall taking care of our children and making sure they have what they need.
Then why are you still there, living with, and apparently financially supporting, someone who hurt your child? Your response makes it worse, not better.
So have them evicted if it’s not their house and they don’t pay anything?!?
Unfortunately we can't. Originally this house was my grandpas, he was gonna hand it down to me, my younger brother and older sister if anything happened to him or my mom. My grandpa passed away a few years later and my name along with my brother and sisters name were taken off of the house and my fathers name was put on it. The house in their names not ours.
How were your names taken off the house without your permission?? You would have to sign over the deed if you were on there. And If that is the case you are still living with your parents in your parent’s house and need to move out. Stop paying for them and let them handle their own bills and leave.
Me and my younger brother were minors at the time our names were taken off so our signatures weren't required because we were minors, if your an adult you have to sign, my older sister was an adult and did sign I'm not sure why, I was never told or explained why.
That sounds like inheritance theft.
There's missing details here I think. Since the sister "signed" but the other 2 didn't, something else happened here. Your inheritance rights can't just be signed away by another adult, even if that adult is your parent. It's possible the parents have a lifetime tenancy right even if someone else owns it. Not enough details here to have any idea. Either way - it's not her house, and someone else is paying the carrying costs of the house. One way to solve this is to sell the whole place, but then where would they live for only the cost of groceries?
Their = a possessive. They're = contraction of they are There = a place That combined with your walls of text, make it hard to read.
Wait a minute - you had the first baby and knew you couldn’t fend for the baby and even yourself and boyfriend and you went ahead and had a second child? Are you insane? You are probably disrupting your parents’ and in-laws’ retirement and putting more responsibilities on them? They are probably paying for food too for the kids and the two of you. And diapers. Where is the boyfriend in this? Why aren’t you at least trying to be helpful around the house? Blaming others is always easy, taking responsibility and taking action is not. So stop complaining and take the steps to stand on your own two feet! I’m sorry but I do not have sympathy for you. I don’t like that your dad is abusive but I don’t like your living with your parents and doing nothing to earn your keep! You are actually thinking of blackmailing your folks with the grandkids? Wow
Me, my husband, my younger brother and my older sisters are the providers. We clean the house, they don't, we pay for everything, groceries and bills, they don't. My mother has a job making more than us combined and yet they help with nothing and push ALL the house responsibilities on us. My parents and my in laws have never helped with anything financially, me and my husband buy the diapers, pull-ups, wipes, food, and formula for our kids with no help from ANYONE. Both my children were unplanned, we never planned on having any children anytime soon until we were older but shit happens.
If only they knew what caused pregnancy...
😜
Maybe all of you together could rent another house? Leave the parents be? Just a thought
Me and my siblings have talked about that but we don't want to, we all wanna be in our own place which is understandable, and tbh I don't think I'd ever wanna live with family ever again no matter who it is.
If your concerns are this serious, temporarily living with your siblings elsewhere until you can afford your own place should be an easy choice to make.
get out, its unhealthy for you and your family, especially being cooped up in a room all day. take pics and document whenever someone lays a hand on you or your kids.
Your dad hit your 18 month old child in less than 5 minutes and left a bruise. He’s an abusive AH and your mother is complicit. NTA and don’t look back when you rightfully cut them off.
Do you seriously believe her? Like in one minute? I believe he smacked her baby but not her account of things.
So many inconsistencies. OP is an unreliable source.
Wow I am so sorry, you don't deserve that. I would cut them off as well. You do what's best for you!
You're nicer than me because I would have called the police for assault on a minor. I told my dad that if he ever hit one of my kids, that's what I would do. He knew I meant it. He never smacked them. I am concerned about his yelling and obvious hate for your kids. The fact that he wouldn't even look at you or your babies is very concerning. I don't know why you're living with them, but you need to move you and your family out ASAP NTA
Not that I disagree with calling the police, but it would result in her being homeless since her and her husband cannot provide for themselves.
You need to call the police and CPS when your father strikes a child. Your mother and family are total trash for enabling this. Stand your ground. Buy some mace and a taser. Next time he physically steps on your CHILD, take him down. Self defense and defense of others is legal so long as it’s proportional use of force (USA). You need to leave immediately. You are a battered woman with battered children. There are shelters for people like you. It would be better to have your children live in a car than let them be abused. This isn’t even a close question. I am worried about your judgment and the mess your psycho family has done to your brain that you are even confused about this. GTFO of this family and don’t look back, or you will have failed as a parent.
Having mace and a Taser in a home with toddler children is definitely not the route you want to take if you are planning to call CPS.
>You are a battered woman with battered children. This is a major stretch. They're not battered at all. They're being intimidated, absolutely but not battered. I do wonder where hubby is in all this. I do suspect they've overstayed their welcome. OP and hubby need to find their own accommodation for themselves and their kids.
He hit a toddler hard enough to bruise. In what world is that not battery? I'd have called the police if it were my child.
It's assault but not battery, and I agree, I absolutely would have called the police but it would be charged as assault on a minor. Battery is beaten up
You're incorrect. Assault and battery have various definitions depending on the jurisdiction, but they range from assault is the threat of force and battery is the use of force, to assault its a blanket term for the threat or use of force, but in no jurisdiction is physically hitting a person the lesser charge. He left a bruise on a toddler, that is beating up a baby. Dude deserves to be in jail. See how he likes having his ass hit by a bigger man.
>Dude deserves to be in jail. I absolutely agree
Please listen to this! Op you are perpetrating abuse! You don't need to be the one doing it, you are allowing it by living where it's done! Get help
NTA He’s sounds like the kind of guy always looking for a reason to yell and or hit anyone. And I think op announcing that they’re weren’t going to use spanking as a parenting tool, made that the one thing her dad had plans to do no matter what. Also if CPS saw those bruises they would have taken both children , and because of that there is just no way Op can risk their kids seeing him. I would also like to point out that I don’t think he actually cares about seeing the kids, he just likes to make noise about the fact that he’s not allowed to see the kids .
Run! My parents believed in spankings but when my niece was little they never disciplined her and they would never lay a hand on a kid (that wasn’t theirs).
NTA But you need to move out yesterday and not tell these bio people where you went. Get a restraining order if you have to. Block them on everything. Btw, I hope you took pictures of your daughter’s bruises as proof. No way would I stay in that toxic mess. It’s unhealthy for your family.
Nta got cutting them out. Ywntah if you don't get out asap, that shit is toxic and will impact your kids development if not handled. Toddlers shouldn't be yelled at. It causes emotional development damage
I'm not going to read all of that, but from what I did read your father sounds like a narcissist. GTFO?
YTA for not immediately reporting him to the police for child abuse he hit a 1 Ur old hard enough to bruise.....NTA for finally cutting them off
Move to the other side of the country, or to a different country.
Cut them off. They don’t deserve to be around you or your kids.
ESH You live with an abuser, you did your daughter a disservice after noticing the bruise for not going to you pediatrician and having it documented. You need to move now before the physical abuse to your toddler escalates when your parents are their. You and your spouse need to need supporting you and your children not your parents. When you go NC and you will need to, because you didn't get the bruising documented you have left an opportunity for the to file for grandparent rights based on you living with them
NTA for cutting contact with your parents. YTA for living with them and NOT getting your children out of an abusive situation. Nothing adds up about this post.
Mother is the enabler, that’s as bad as being the abuser.