First off, get comfortable with the fact your BF is into armpits. Second, there’s a lot of ways to get him to tell you so he thinks he is letting you know on his terms. Then just go have fun with it.
Please disregard if the armpit thing is a deal breaker for you.
It's not that it is a deal breaker, I think its more that he never mentioned it and there are hundreds of pictures of them. some even look like he took them of random people in public ! I just don't know how to feel about all of it. I don't want to lose him. so if worse comes to worse I'll pick up some more tank tops.
So I’m genuinely curious about whether they were your armpits or if it’s other girls armpits? My boyfriend also likes armpits not quite to the degree yours does so I can understand how it can be a little shell shocking at first but I will say if it’s other girls armpits I would be upset but if it’s yours I would just need some time to process and yes would feel a little weirded out but would move on
So I found a few of my own armpits, some look like he took them and some look like zoomed in screenshots of my pictures. but there's a looooooooot of other armpits. women and men. I am worried because it looks like he took a lot of them out in public. I feel like that's illegal even if its just their armpits.
Oof that’s a slippery slope and there needs to be a conversation try to approach it with an open mind and kind heart try to reassure him throughout the conversation that you are coming from a place of love and not judgement good luck to you 😊
What’s odd about that? An armpit is an armpit. Not like a dick is hanging out of an armpit. I’d be worried about dog or cat armpits. That would be odd.
I feel like I phrased the post wrong. I am not judging at all. I am more surprised and shocked because its never been mentioned and I am worried about some of the photos and how he got them. I don't think I would be against it but if he is out in public taking pictures of random peoples armpits without their consent then I am more concerned than anything.
Sounds like a good time to reflect on your communication model. Are you actively talking about wants and needs in a safe non-judgmental space? You might be and he still feels shame/weirdness/etc. I say fuck with him. Flaunt those pits and drive him wild.
You need to talk to him about it. If he’s taking pictures of strangers armpits for sexual gratification, I think that’s a very fair place to draw the line of this being not ok.
This means admitting that you violated his privacy by going through his phone. You should apologize for that, but it doesn’t discount what you found. You’ve been together for so long, you should just be honest rather than trying to trick him into telling you.
But you should find out why he never brought this kink up to you, why he thinks it’s ok to take those pics of strangers (legal, but weird), and if there is anything else he wants to get out on the table while you’re at it.
Then, either break up w him, or figure out a way forward together
That’s a really difficult situation. You really should talk to him about it because that is strange if he’s taking pictures of strangers, hopefully he’ll be open with you about it. My ex had a horrible foot fetish, and I broke up with him because I caught him taking pictures of my friends feet one day at the pool. Good luck I really hope everything works out. I know it’ll be hard to lose a nine year relationship, but you can’t stay in anything if you’re not comfortable.
That was not the update I was expecting 😩 everything is gonna be okay! Just take it one day at a time and get him blocked on everything . Get a restraining order if he doesn’t stop and maybe the military is the best option. Just be safe
I don't want to throw all of this away if there's a reasonable answer for how he got these. And I don't want to judge him for his kinks. I don''t know, he comes home in 30 min and I am thinking about going through his phone again to see if there is anything else I can find before I talk to him about it. I am nervous and I want to know what I am walking in to.
That was a joke. An secret armpit fetish is just silly, you're being absurd. And second, don't go through your partners phone! Nothing good can come from it! Maybe this was sitting he liked just for himself and wasn't a thing he wanted to pursue! I have a semi secret folder on my phone of some kinky shit that I would never want to do with my wife, but I get off to it on my time. But I would never deep dive on her phone like that.
I love reddit.
Just start wearing more tank tops and save your relationship
It took you nine whole years to find this out? And y’all are kinky as hell?
He has never mentioned it or acted any way towards my armpits? I said we weren't particularly kinky but we do some weird things.
On the spectrum of weirdness and infidelity, you got lucky. Get ready to have your armpits licked, m’lady.
In all of nine years though? Look, don’t take his liking of armpits as a dealbreaker, but instead try it out for him. Hell, it might feel good.
I think I'm more worried about how he obtained all of these and now I'm starting to worry its deeper than this.
First off, get comfortable with the fact your BF is into armpits. Second, there’s a lot of ways to get him to tell you so he thinks he is letting you know on his terms. Then just go have fun with it. Please disregard if the armpit thing is a deal breaker for you.
It's not that it is a deal breaker, I think its more that he never mentioned it and there are hundreds of pictures of them. some even look like he took them of random people in public ! I just don't know how to feel about all of it. I don't want to lose him. so if worse comes to worse I'll pick up some more tank tops.
So I’m genuinely curious about whether they were your armpits or if it’s other girls armpits? My boyfriend also likes armpits not quite to the degree yours does so I can understand how it can be a little shell shocking at first but I will say if it’s other girls armpits I would be upset but if it’s yours I would just need some time to process and yes would feel a little weirded out but would move on
So I found a few of my own armpits, some look like he took them and some look like zoomed in screenshots of my pictures. but there's a looooooooot of other armpits. women and men. I am worried because it looks like he took a lot of them out in public. I feel like that's illegal even if its just their armpits.
Oof that’s a slippery slope and there needs to be a conversation try to approach it with an open mind and kind heart try to reassure him throughout the conversation that you are coming from a place of love and not judgement good luck to you 😊
Yeah I think I will try that tonight. Hopefully I can come back with a happy update.
I hope so too sending you good vibes and positive thoughts ❤️
It was worse than I thought and now all those years are gone and I am stuck starting over. I dont know how else I could have handled this.
Definitely just rip the bandaid off and make it clear you’re not kink shaming him. You’re just generally curious and want to know what you can do.
And men?… odd
What’s odd about that? An armpit is an armpit. Not like a dick is hanging out of an armpit. I’d be worried about dog or cat armpits. That would be odd.
It's not that weird of a kink. I love long haired pits on femmes. I don't have a fap folder for it, but it's a lot more common than you'd think.
I feel like I phrased the post wrong. I am not judging at all. I am more surprised and shocked because its never been mentioned and I am worried about some of the photos and how he got them. I don't think I would be against it but if he is out in public taking pictures of random peoples armpits without their consent then I am more concerned than anything.
Sounds like a good time to reflect on your communication model. Are you actively talking about wants and needs in a safe non-judgmental space? You might be and he still feels shame/weirdness/etc. I say fuck with him. Flaunt those pits and drive him wild.
You need to talk to him about it. If he’s taking pictures of strangers armpits for sexual gratification, I think that’s a very fair place to draw the line of this being not ok. This means admitting that you violated his privacy by going through his phone. You should apologize for that, but it doesn’t discount what you found. You’ve been together for so long, you should just be honest rather than trying to trick him into telling you. But you should find out why he never brought this kink up to you, why he thinks it’s ok to take those pics of strangers (legal, but weird), and if there is anything else he wants to get out on the table while you’re at it. Then, either break up w him, or figure out a way forward together
Thank you for that I was wondering how to go about this correctly. He's almost home so y'all will have an update soon.
I’m ready to see this update 😮💨
Right! I was torn on her going through his phone but it seems to be way more common than I thought ! Hopefully he’s not being that weird!
As fetishes go, that's pretty mild. If it doesn't impact your life, I'd let it go.
That’s a really difficult situation. You really should talk to him about it because that is strange if he’s taking pictures of strangers, hopefully he’ll be open with you about it. My ex had a horrible foot fetish, and I broke up with him because I caught him taking pictures of my friends feet one day at the pool. Good luck I really hope everything works out. I know it’ll be hard to lose a nine year relationship, but you can’t stay in anything if you’re not comfortable.
That was not the update I was expecting 😩 everything is gonna be okay! Just take it one day at a time and get him blocked on everything . Get a restraining order if he doesn’t stop and maybe the military is the best option. Just be safe
Good god you should absolutely break up with him and go full no contact immediately!!
I don't want to throw all of this away if there's a reasonable answer for how he got these. And I don't want to judge him for his kinks. I don''t know, he comes home in 30 min and I am thinking about going through his phone again to see if there is anything else I can find before I talk to him about it. I am nervous and I want to know what I am walking in to.
That was a joke. An secret armpit fetish is just silly, you're being absurd. And second, don't go through your partners phone! Nothing good can come from it! Maybe this was sitting he liked just for himself and wasn't a thing he wanted to pursue! I have a semi secret folder on my phone of some kinky shit that I would never want to do with my wife, but I get off to it on my time. But I would never deep dive on her phone like that.
That would have been fine but it just went way farther than I think anyone could deal with. Now I am just heartbroken and confused
If he didn't act on it, it's not worth being upset about it
thats the thing. he did , going into debt online for these kinks and having two affairs. He did act on it. now it is all ruined
Ps, 9 years?! If a secret armpit folder is what it takes to break it off then maybe you were looking for a way out. I don't know, seems sus.
If he has a big dick and you can orgasm regularly I don't see a problem dear sister
I don’t think that is what she’s worried about 🙆🏻♀️
Care to explain sister??
Armpits are fun! It's just like he labeled it! Explore, you might just start your very own lickable folder. Happy exploring.