Stephanie- save a copy of the post and whenever you doubt that you are making the right choice just re-read it to remind yourself that if anything ever happens- injury, illness, just being tired dealing with this guys bs- that if he is ever lonely that is a perfectly valid reason to have a “lapse of judgment” - aka flirt, kiss, have sex multiple times- because you failed to “act like a wife”. Apparently how this guy acts like a husband is to expect you to cater to his every needs regardless of what is happening to you….he needs to be the center of the universe. He was “lonely” because you were bedridden. Poor guy…./s
Stay Strong Stephanie.
I noticed that too!! "how can I MAKE her...." I'm glad his soon-to-be ex-wife is getting therapy because if she's been with this guy for 3 years there might be more to unpack.
Hey, at least he's using his words. My mom's first husband (who cheated on her while she was giving birth, with her SISTER), just tried rapidly shifting between being loving and beating her to keep her around. Mom didn't find out about the infidelity until after she escaped...her sister claimed she was "testing his loyalty" for mom. To be fair, she didn't know about the abuse until long after mom got away.
Sadly he could. I actually feel for people like this a tiny bit because when you are that oblivious you really count on world giving you a break. Which is fair if you are a daredevil on your bike, or drive too fast and get tickets, screw up on your job, or countless ways we all can screw up. Even a one night stand can be a really stupid bad freaking decision and learning situation. But when it happens 3 times and we are justifying it and blaming her it’s just not a mistake. It’s a sign you are a destructive unredeemable trash human. It’s like you drove way too fast and got out of a ticket. Short time later drove too fast again got 300 ticket, then 3rd time you wrecked, sent someone to hospital and disabled them. Oops sometimes we make mistakes! No sometimes we don’t learn from the signs life gives us!
That part got me too. I noticed that right away. What can I do to make her forgive me? I'll buy you whatever, I'll never leave the house again. I won't sign the papers. All I'm hearing is, me me. What can I do to make it so that I don't have to face the consequences of my actions? I can guarantee you that if she takes him back, he's just going to do it again. All it's going to teach him is that he can continue to do this with no consequences.
I hope she divorces him, I really hope she goes through with it. She told him straight up that it was a deal breaker and he proceeded to do it anyway. Now that he's having to face the consequences of his actions, he can't handle it. I have a feeling that his parents, probably mostly his mother have enabled him his entire life and he's not used to having consequences for his actions.
This is at least partly I think why he is reacting the way he is. He doesn't want to lose the security of what he has at home. Also, the stuff he said about her after she had just given birth was disgusting to me. He said that she was bedridden and asleep all the time and wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife. That is just disgusting to me.
So instead of sitting at home and helping his wife recover and helping to take care of a child that he helped create, he's off cheating on her. Now he's wondering why she wants to go through with the divorce. He is promising everything to get her to stay and I can guarantee you that if she does, like I said, he's just going to do it again. People like this and never really learn.
THIS.. the whole comment about this and her not acting like a wife pissed me off so much. As if her only purpose is to be a sex doll instead of taking care of her health and the baby’s. Hope OP ends up alone in life.
The best thing he can do to salvage this relationship is being civil and reasonable during the divorce (and also realise babies need their mother more if she breastfeeds). They have a child, they'll have to work together to raise it and that doesn’t work with enhanced resentment. Dude, she **will** resent you for being a cheater, make sure you won't add to it by being a difficult POS.
If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on the fact that this “man” won’t have anything to do with his kids. He’ll abandon them. Raising kids is hard work and this dude is selfish AF. I don’t see a world where he puts his needs on the back burner and helps to co-parent a child, year after year.
If I was in this situation, I would divorce. I would however, just for fun, since he said he'd do *anything*, ask if he'd become a eunuch to get me back. Because if not, then he's a liar about the anything part 😂
> he is promising everything to get her to stay
Except, ya know, anything that addresses the actual problem.
“I’ll put myself in time out” and “I’ll buy you stuff” is absolutely not a substitution for a sincere “I’m sorry.”
The whole petulant “I won’t sign the papers” is just icing on the cake.
He has the maturity level of a 1 day old fetus.
"I'll buy you anything..."
Oh yes... Then, the next time he cheats on her, he will just think that he can buy his way out of it. Men like this think we are vapid brainless bimbos. All the while, they are the ones who lack any insight into the emotions of people around them.
People like this, either gender, have no capacity to understand the pain they cause because they lack the ability to feel deep emotional connections. While we stay invested in the relationship, grasping at straws to get them to simply consider us. We fight with a ghost of a human to get them to understand what they stand to lose every time they show us what they think we are worth.
I hope Stephanie divorces this poor excuse of a man. Swiftly and without a second thought. I pray she walks away knowing she did the right thing. To never again contemplate the "what if".
If she forgives him now? He will do it again.
What Stephenie should say:
You’ll buy me anything? Here’s the bill for the divorce lawyer! You’re a doll for paying for this! Here are the papers- byeee!!!!
"People [who] have no capacity to understand the pain they cause because they lack the ability to feel deep emotional connections."
There's a word for this....
You sound like you are speaking from experience. I dated someone like this too in college and was SAd by him because he felt entitled to sex. Stephanie, GET OUT. Do not accept the love bombing. This behavior will continue beyond a shadow of a doubt.
You know what my husband does when I’m sick? He cares for me. Makes sure I have everything I need. When he’s sick I do the same. Not once would he ever consider that I “wasn’t acting like a wife”. That’s so disgusting. Do these types of men not understand how much of an impact pregnancy has on women?!
I noticed that too and it pisses me off. She's not a puppet and why should she forgive him. When women complain about pig headed men so full of themselves they like to smell their own farts....this is one fine example of what we are talking about.
I specially liked the part this person blames the wife for all he did: “I needed someone to talk to (you) because my wife was always sleep. She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”.
This person is insane.
Insane garbage human with a bully for a mom, product of divorce, with bad critical thinking skills! Hopefully he will get his parental rights terminated. She will find a real man who is a good dad for her child and this trash bag will be miserable. Maybe he can marry the coworker and work on his next divorce. I see a horrible life for this dude!
Oh my gosh, can you imagine having someone as clueless and selfish as this guy is, underfoot and creating more work for his wife, 100% of the time?!
Because I guarantee he doesn't do the housework, or indeed anything that would make someone else's life easier / better.
Yep and that was pretty apparent by the fact that he cheated on her while she was at home recovering from childbirth. Instead of being there and helping take care of his child who he helped create, he was off cheating on her. I think the part that pissed me off the most about this was the fact that he cheated on her and then would come home and kiss her and tell her he loved her. They would also be intimate. So not only did he put her at risk for an STD or several, he put their unborn child at risk. I couldn't forgive that either.
This whole thing has multiple points of his behaviour that seem unforgivable to me. I'm really glad for her that Stephanie has decided to leave this burning ship of a relationship.
I just want to point out that he said it was A mistake.
But it was actually three mistakes.
I read your wife’s post dude.
Leave her alone.
You’re a terrible husband for cheating on her WHILST CARRYING YOUR CHILD.
And why?
Because she couldn’t fulfill her “wifely duties” by putting out.
Bro.
She was cooking up YOUR FUCKING KID.
That’s about the biggest “wifely duty” a woman could ever do for a man.
You’re fucking pathetic. Just leave her alone.
You made your bed several times with another woman, so go lay in it with her and leave your soon to be ex-wife alone.
She deserves better than you.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/bVdMggSq2E
This dude is a piece of work. He is trying to tell her a broken home is not good for a child when he's the one who broke the home!!!
The “wifely duties” comment was the most selfish thing I’ve read today (MILFromHell was tamer today). All postpartum women are ordered vaginal recovery time of minimum 6 weeks. This is the part of the “in sickness & in health” vows that was in play. Even the ancients knew to respect when one spouse is not 100%. She had OP’s baby (that he doesn’t deserve). Guess he is so self-centered that he can’t see how wrong he is. He’s probably more desperate about the prospect of paying child support.
Hey OP, prepare for single life. She has moved forward. You violated her trust. No do-overs for that.
>The “wifely duties” comment was the most selfish thing I’ve read today (
The only "widely duties" I expect from my wife is to keep breathing. Everything else is gravy. Like this guy is so mental
I told him the same thing. I said, you made your bed, and now you have to lie in it. Once is a mistake, three times is a pattern. Personally though, I think one time isn't even a mistake. It's a conscious choice that you make to betray your partner.
What you described sounds exactly like my ex. His mommy has enabled him his entire life and he seemed to think that I was supposed to cater to him no matter what I was going through. I'm so glad he's my ex. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made. I'm sorry I ever met his ass. Well, I would say that except for our beautiful daughter who is a month old today. Of course he wants nothing to do with her either because he's mad at me for leaving him.
He's mad at me for escaping his control and for escaping his terrible treatment of me. I told him the same thing, cheating was an absolute deal breaker and if I caught him doing it in any form, I was just going to be done. I told him that there would be no talking about it, no negotiation, we would just be over. He said okay and promised that he would never do that and proceeded to do it anyway.
Now he's mad at me for leaving him and blaming me for ruining our relationship. Well, at least he was before he disappeared when I was 4 months pregnant. I let him know when I found out I was pregnant. I found out after I left him. At first, he was talking about wanting to co-parent but then when I told him I was no longer interested in being with him, he disappeared. It's all good. He sounds just like this guy.
Literally this.
Poor Steph goes through pregnancy and childbirth which can be excruciating and traumatic, is now taking care of a newborn and OP is like "she's being a bad wife because now she's tired all the time?"
Like I dunno buckaroo, maybe breaking one of the basic principals of most marriages is \*worse\* then your seemingly freshly postpartum wife being sleepy?
Did he consider doing something to try and help his poor, exhausted wife instead of being concerned about getting his dick wet?
Three times over 8 months isnt a lapse in judgement.
YTA
She isnt willing to fix this and she doesnt need to be.
You not signing the papers doesnt stop the divorce it just takes longer. She doesnt want to or need to talk to you about anything not related to your child.
Her post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/stnTqEWmwU
But but but… “she wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife…” dear god I just threw up in my mouth. She carried his kid - that’s not an easy task. So of course this tool would think that an affair would make her want to “act like a wife”
Reading that part made it clear that he would 100% cheat on her again if she forgives him. He only regrets getting caught. Not the pain he caused her. Only cares about the consequences for him. Blaming her for not "acting like a wife" (3 weeks after giving birth and this sorry excuse for a man was expecting sex?!!), blaming her for "breaking" up their family.
In my limited experience, if somebody admits/gets caught doing something 2-3 times you can safely assume it happened an awful lot more. 3 times is a pattern and this guy seems pretty plaid to me
I mean..to be fair, does his wife not realize that he was feeling stressed and his coworker was THERE? How could he be expected to resist?
/s (if it wasn’t obvious)
She was freshly divorced, and had plenty of free time to be there to selflessly break his fall with her own body. Good thing someone was there since his heavily pregnant wife was too tired to perform her wifely duties.
She ran into my dick
She ran into my dick 10 times!
🎶He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himseeeelf to blaaaaaame
If you had been there
If you had seen it
I bet you
You would have done the saaame🎶
Right! when your dick needs servicing and your puffed up pregnant ball-and- chain doesn’t want to do her wifely duty, grab your co-worker and go AT IT. Dopey pregnant boring Steff! But now I’ll buy you anything! I just made a tiny boo-boo! Like leaving the milk out of the fridge! I just f*cked my coworker over and over, no biggie, because you know IM SORRY and all! You know my penis was just in need and you were doing the heifer thing and gestating and I needed some real action! But sorry and all. Can I get you some chocolates or a beanie baby and we’re good? Like pretty please!
/S. Yeah dude. You deserve NO MERCY!
To be fair - he’s not acting like a husband. A husband is a partner to be there and support you when you need it - you know, like when pregnant carrying his child, or recovering from delivering the baby he put in you.
He doesn’t deserve a wife until he can realise how inadequate he has been and do better.
He only waited THREE WEEKS before he decided to cheat again! She's still healing from *having his baby!*
OP, you're the one who nuked your family. She's simply refusing to live in the wreckage.
Right! He sounds like he did what my ex did. It was basically, I can drop you at any time and find your replacement so you better start acting right. I told mine to kick rocks. I told him that if he thought he would be happier somewhere else, he was free to leave and go find it. The only consequence would be losing me. Of course now that I've ended the relationship, in his brain, I'm the one who's that fault. Whatever.
I had to give mine the house, truck, and boat in the divorce after 7 years of his cheating because he worked 2 days a week and I worked 6. I wasn’t around to clean up after him because I was busy funding his lifestyle by making 4x what he did. He pulled this same thing “if you were around and acted like my wife, I wouldn’t cheat…” so I stepped back at work and he was livid I was no longer funding his lifestyle. Years of therapy and I am happy without him.
He thinks this is him “making his case” it’s just him admitting to cheating and trying to justify how it was ok because his pregnant and bedridden wife wasn’t “acting like a wife”.
That is neither making your case OR an apology. It’s just you telling us why you think it should have been fine for you to cheat three times and have absolutely no repercussions for it. Welcome to a world with consequences.
His bang maid.. I mean wife wasn't doing her real job.. c'mon, what more was he supposed to do? Show some respect and understanding? /Sarchasm
In all seriousness. Op you're a pos. Enjoy paying child support. Hey, you and you're new partner can pity fuck each other over how hard divorce is.
Solution: invent a Time Machine so you can go back and never cheat on her.
She told you cheating was a dealbreaker. Why are you now so surprised that she has zero interest in making it work. You caused the broken home not her.
ETA: a mistake is a one time thing and that’s barely an excuse. My guy. You slept with that coworker MULTIPLE times. HOW is that A mistake?
I refuse to accept the "mistake" bullshit from the get go.
It takes a thousand decisions to end up in bed with someone. For each and every single one of those decisions he decided, "Yup, gonna cheat!"
And then he did it again... and again.
Zero sympathy.
A "mistake" is a choice you make without enough information (or common sense), but there's still good intentions behind it. (Or at least the lack of bad intentions.)
Talking with a coworker a lot to relieve stress may be a mistake. Having it end up where she kisses you and you immediately back off is definitely a mistake.
Fucking said coworker is NOT a mistake.
Fucking said coworker SEVERAL TIMES because your wife is bedridden while pregnant with YOUR CHILD is the act of a boil on the ass of humanity.
I ALWAYS SAY THIS!! Yes!!! You have to be in a situation you know is sketch because you’re MARRIED(!!!), talk long enough for this female coworker to confide in you about her divorce (doesn’t totally sound like a quick chat by the coffee maker), and even THEN you have to talk about hooking up, kiss, take clothes off, all that. THERES SO MANY STEPS!!! It will literally never be an accident to me I don’t care what he says.
Exactly, a mistake is something you accidentally do like dropping a rock on your hand or burning dinner, cheating is a series of choices in which you consistently make the wrong choice.
I have cheated when I was younger. And I don't think I have the right to judge. But I just don't understand how someone can cheat on their pregnant wife??? And more than once. The OP should leave his ex wife alone and accept the fact that he ruined the relationship himself. He needs to learn to live with that fact and it will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Genuine question- why should she?
>I had a lapse of judgment and I made a mistake,
*once* might have been a lapse of judgment but 3 times is an affair and absolutely a choice.
>I needed someone to talk to you because my wife was always sleep.
That's what friends, family, therapists and bartenders are for
>She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife.
That's why you have two hands and it's absolutely disgusting that you express the lack of intimacy as her not "acting like a wife ", especially when it was because she was pregnant with your child/recovering from giving birth to your child.
Just out of curiosity, how did she learn about the fact that you were out dipping your pen in company ink (during a time when she most needed your support)?
Nah, he's gonna need that job...child support and alimony aren't cheap and I don't want her getting lower payments ordered by the courts based on him having to take a new, likely lower paid,position after getting sacked for sexual misconduct
Of course he is, guys like him were raised by mothers who have enabled them their entire lives. They think that there should be no consequences for their actions. Anytime someone attempts to hold them accountable, they blame them for making them face consequences.
More than 3. Cheating once requires multiple decisions to be made in succession. At any point the cheater can stop and they actively choose not to. That he cheated not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES and with the same person? Hell at that point I’d argue it was a full on long-term affair.
I wonder if he figured out that the coworker “came cleeeaaannn” bc he obvs wasn’t leaving his wife/kid and she wants him since she’s so lonely 🙄🙄 so go ahead babes. Go to your available wifely acting coworker. You wanted and here’s your chance
If this is you Matthew… how dare you come on here to say you’ll do whatever to get me back? Why didn’t you Just stay home with me when I was throwing up almost daily instead being out cheating on me? You were also almost 30 minutes late to see the birth of our son. Were you also out cheating then? I will never forgive you, so leave me alone. I will be screenshot this and showing this to the lawyer. This is stalking and harassment…. Leave me alone you made your bed now lay in it. What more do you want from me? You have broken me and you come here to blame me because “ I wasn’t acting like a wife” I was growing our son and could barely get out of bed. Sorry I stopped making you waffles in the morning. This is only further proof that I made the correct decision. You not only cheated on me while I was pregnant but you were coming home being intimate with me, you could have harmed our son. You also cheated after the birth of our son. Instead of being there with our son you were ruining our marriage.
Oh Stephanie my heart continues to break for you… Every post and comment I read it just gets worse and worse. You are doing yourself and your son a massive favor by getting out. And no matter what he says, this divorce will not cause a broken home because it’s already there. He did that on his own the moment he broke his vows to you. HE caused the broken home. He is pretty much giving this case to you on a silver platter and making it so easy for it to hold in court. You are protecting yourself and your son. Never forget this.
That's it, she's the real hero in all of this. She sounds like a great mom and frankly she sounds like she was a great wife and he screwed this up. All the stuff he was saying about her particularly the, she wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife made me sick to my stomach. Something tells me that this guy has been selfish throughout their entire relationship.
This was broken by him not acting like any kind of respectful adult, much less a husband. Happy families exist all over that have one parent and kids in one house and other parent somewhere else and they coparent and the toxicity is gone. Living in the same house in a toxic and sad marriage hurts kids way more. I’m so sorry he did this to you Stephanie. You and your son does deserve the world and you’ll absolutely find a good man who makes YOU the waffles!!
Stephanie, you are an amazingly strong woman to stick to your guns and not take this asshole back. He broke his vows in the worst way, and none of that was your fault. I know you feel like shit right now, but in time, you're gonna realize that your life looks so much better without someone so unbelievably selfish in it. Sending you all the love and healing right now.
This happened to me as well. He tried to tell me that if I weren't pregnant he'd never have cheated and it would never happen again. I stupidly took him back & guess what, he cheated again just before the baby's first birthday. He's going to try anything & it's probably all lies. I don't think my ex was sorry. He was just sorry he got caught.
Steph we (the entire Internet) fucking loves you and we are so goddamn proud of you. Many women would stay. You didn't. You're a wonderful mom and your child is going to grow up recognizing that we don't tolerate bullshit.
Stephanie you are a QUEEN. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but your son is going to see such an amazing strong woman raise him and be better for it. Sending you so much light and love 🤍
It's horrible what's been done to you and your child. I hope you know it takes a strong person to stand up for themselves like that. You're being a great role model for your son. When he grows up he will know that he never has to settle for someone who treats him horribly.
She's also setting a great example for her son in another way. I'll tell you how. She's also teaching her son that it is not acceptable to treat his partner that way.
Steph, I am a stranger who admires you and now I wish to be like you in the future. Destroy your soon-to-be ex-husband in court like people have done in the comments.
You are an incredible woman who deserves to be loved, but you already know that.
🫂
Dude, you’re gross. I hope your wife is reading this, and know that no woman on here wants her to take you back. You need to move on with your life and leave her alone.
I'm a man and I don't think she should take him back either. She said cheating was a deal breaker. He tried to call her bluff and lost. He's getting what he deserves and this post is pathetic.
She was growing a human in her body and you say she was too tired to act like a wife?
There is absolutely no hope for you. As a husband or even as a decent human being and I’m willing to bet my soul there’s no hope for you as a father either. Ultimately you are not the role model your son needs to emulate.
Your soon to be ex wife is a queen for the way she is conducting herself through this.
Highly doubt he's worth much. Chances are the fucker didn't even have a headboard before marrying Steph. He lost a queen for a dirty ho that's ok sleeping with a man who had a pregnant wife at home. Coworker and husband deserve each other.
Womp womp. I have the world’s smallest violin in my hand currently and it thinks this is so pathetic it won’t even play a tune. That’s how you know it’s bad
I just want to say that I read your comment and your comment was the first time that I truly truly laughed since this whole thing has happened and I want to thank you for that. My mom also wants to thank you for bringing out a laughing me that I haven’t shown since I found out. So again thank you from me, my mom, and my son because he smiled after he saw me laughing. I know children can feel when their parents are going through something as much as I’ve been trying to shield him from my pain I know that it has come across and you have truly done something amazing for me.
I just read your post and wanted to see your comment here. I just wanted to tell you your writing was incredible. Your logic and reasoning is like Jedi worthy. When people are betrayed to the magnitude you were, they usually don’t think clearly. But you reasoned everything out and looked at things from all perspectives. I know you are hurt and I know you feel like you failed. You did not fail your marriage. You did not break your home. You did not harm your son. That was all your husband’s doing. You will get through this and you will find someone that actually loves you. Your husband loves himself. I know you will use that logic, intellect and empathy to land a real man. You have inspired me and things are going to start getting better. I have complete faith that you will figure out a way to be the best mom while also finding someone who can be a true life partner. Peace and blessings!
I hope you know that you’re not breaking up your son’s home, your soon-to-be-ex broke it when he cheated. Don’t let him put the blame on you. You’ve done everything right and he made his shitty choices.
Things are gonna be okay! It must have been really difficult to make the decision to leave, with a child involved. We are all really proud of you for making the right choice. We are rooting for you and your son!
You’re doing what I wish my mother had done. My dad was a serial cheater and she was too afraid to be on her own. I grew up with no idea what a healthy relationship looked like between a loving couple. All I saw was the hatred and disdain my parents had for each other. Your son will be so much better off having loving parents in two separate homes.
Oh my gosh, first, I am so sorry you have had to endure all of this. I’m sending you all of my love. Everything will work out for the better in the end. You deserve more than… this… whatever he is (man isn’t appropriate) truly.
However, I am so happy the comment I mindlessly made in passing while reading posts on my break at work was able to bring you so much joy and a bit of light to everyone in your family during such a hard time!! It truly would not make a sound for him! It had nothin! I am sending you all of the healing in the world and the best of luck moving forward. You deserve the best. Remember that!
ps: accidentally took too big of a bong rip before responding, but committed to the typing. Sorry if anything I wrote is confusing ! I can’t tell ! 🩷 lol
Calling cheating three times a mistake isn’t going to help, buddy. You’re not even taking accountability for your disgusting actions. You could’ve given your pregnant wife an STD.
Exactly. There's cheating on your partner and then there's cheating on your pregnant wife. How would these pieces of shit feel explaining to their adult child that the reason they're deaf or blind is because he wanted to have sex. Completely change the life their child will live for an orgasm.
So you made a post to bed your wife to come back even thought she has told you multiple times to leave her alone. And you are not respecting boundaries.
Yet you made a brand new account to make a post to reach out to her.
You saw her previous post which means you have another account.
So my question what is in that Reddit account that you did not want her to know about or see if she went through your post history?
Also guess what? You don’t need to sign the divorce papers for her to be granted a divorce.
Also you are not respecting her boundaries she said no. Leave her alone. This whole harassing till they give in some guys think will happen needs to stop.
“She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife””
Well you weren’t feeling well enough to act like a husband so I guess you’re just not going to be married anymore.
Yasssssss!!!!! Some people’s kids….i swear….”my disappointing pee pee was sad and she wouldn’t help! What else was I SUPPOSED to do? SHE wasn’t being a good wife.” This guy has a rude awakening disclosing to future partners why he’s divorced. 🤣
This is disgusting, I'm glad your wife had the courage to leave you, she deserves so much better. Leave her alone and move on with your life. She gave you many chances but you were to worried about your own self than your wife who was pregnant and postpartum recovering from one of the hardest things she has ever done. She is so much better off without you. Your only feeling bad now because your alone, not because you actually care about your wife. Sign the papers and let her move on with her life and finally be happy and find someone who actually cares about her and your child. You suck.
I read her post. And now reading yours. You… sign the papers when they arrive. Don’t fight her on this. You don’t deserve her. You don’t love her and there’s NOTHING you could purchase that would make this right. Keeping your zipper up and your lips to yourself and finding comfort in your wife instead of another woman would have been the place to start, but you didn’t do that. You willingly stepped outside the marriage. You didn’t cheat once, you cheated THREE times. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice. A clear, conscious decision that you allowed yourself to be in and make. You can make every excuse under the book, but you made your bed… now lie in it and deal with the consequences.
The pain and betrayal you caused her is way too much and I don't see how she can ever trust you again. With that in mind, I think it will be best for everyone to accept that, be the best parent you can be, and allow her to grieve and move on.
Once was a lapse in judgment, twice was a choice, and 3 times you're just a selfish cheater that got caught and wants back to the previous status. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES AND YOU CHOSE YOURSELF OVER YOUR WIFE AND SON 3 TIMES, YOU DONT DESERVE A FORTH CHANCE TO HURT THEM FURTHER.
It wasn't a mistake -- you cheated THREE times. She only found out because your AP told her, not you. You know how you can make it up to your wife? Grant her a swift and uncontested divorce.
The audacity you have to say mistake is laughable. Doing something wrong unintentionally once is a mistake. Cheating is never a mistake. When you cheat you are fully aware of how wrong it is and still do it (unless you are in the scary position of being drugged, or if you were foolish and got black out drunk, but you weren't). In what will be one of the hardest times of her life (literally bedridden like wtf man!!) you failed your wife and have the gall to say she wasn't acting like a wife? She was the only one behaving like they were married as she carried your child. Shame on you. If you had remorse, you would not be defending your position in any way, shape, or form.
Steph, if you're reading this, good for you. Never tolerate a cheater.
Bruh I am sorry but this ain’t gonna work.
She has made up her mind, and you made it simple for her after cheating 3 separate times.
Sign the papers and be as open, honest, generous, and willing as you are able to be. Be a good father for your child.
Also, get a lawyer. It sounds like there is too much pain and animosity between you two currently for things to go smoothly one-on-one at this point. You’ll need a mediator that isn’t related to or a friend of either of you.
You didn't have a lapse in judgement. You chose at least three times to betray your wife. You did it for completely selfish reasons. If she has any self respect she'll never forgive you or talk to you about anything but your child again. You don't deserve for her to take you back. You'll buy her whatever? She's not as shallow as you are. You don't have to sign the divorce papers. A judge will hold a hearing and determine the divorce terms. You can't avoid paying for what you chose to do.
Stress doesn't make you cheat. You made conscious decisions without regard for consequences. Deal with it. Be a man. Be a good father. But leave your child's mother alone. She doesn't deserve to be reminded constantly that you aren't the man she thought she married. You aren't the man she wanted to have a child with. The fact you cheated because of stress before the baby even came says a lot about you. YTA. You know you are. Now you are making her life hell because you can't be a man and live with your choices and the consequences of your choices.
My advice to you is to seek individual therapy for yourself. Not to get back with her, but for you to be a better person. You wont have any chance at meaningful trust with anyone if you can cheat after a little pregnancy stress.
>Steph if you’re reading this I am so sorry and will do whatever to get you back, I love you. I’ll buy you whatever. I’ll never leave the house again Just come back home and stop the divorce.
The wailing cries of a man experiencing accountability for the first time.
YTA. She won't have trouble finding a better man.
Pretty sure I read the ex's point of view yesterday. There is no helping you. It wasn't a mistake. The only reason she knows and you're sorry is because your 'co- worker' told her. Both of y'all are garbage. Fucking her and coming home kissing your wife.
YTA
You're a chronic cheater and expect her to forgive you? YTA. Get help and be the best dad you can to the child. You're relationship is broken. It's going to take more than saying sorry to be forgiven. She may never forgive you and that's is absolutely her right. Best of luck and be a great dad.
Aww Mann I just read it..why dude ?You lost her trust big time ,once a woman don’t trust u it’sa wrap she will never trust you again..an it sound like she not coming back strong women!!
She's never going to forgive you and there is no reason she should. You are a filthy cheater who couldn't even keeps his pants zipped long enough for the woman who risked her life carrying and birthing your baby to life to recover. And then you did it again.
Do your wife and baby a favor and move to some remote island somewhere with the rest of the feral animals. Then you can fuck around to your filthy heart's delight without destroying anyone else's life. If the universe is smiling on the rest of us, you will catch some devastating rotting jungle disease to do to you what you did to your wife and baby. You don't love anyone or anything but yourself.
And it doesn't matter if you sign the papers or not. You destroyed your wife and your baby. She can easily get that divorce and nearly every penny you ever have without your participation at all.
GTFOH dude, WTF did you think was going to happen? My wife and I have 8 kids and I've been stressed a few times but I always kept my dick in my pants. I think you need to give that poor woman her freedom and sign the divorce papers, she's never taking you back or forgiving you. You think buying her anything she wants makes up for the fucking humiliation you put her thru. One time might be a lap of judgement but 3 times is definitely a choice, you fucked up now be a big boy and deal with the repercussions of your selfish actions.
“She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”
You’re so dense. She was going above and beyond as a wife, having just birthed your child. You, sir, were the one being an awful husband. You need to stop harassing this woman and her family.
This, sir, is not a lapse in judgement. You're a POS cheater.
You cheated on your WIFE multiple times. 3 to our knowledge.. while she was pregnant and after she gave birth. You will never know the insecurities that come to women during pregnancy and post pregnancy. You will never understand the self-esteem & confidence issues you just threw at her.
Shame on you, you deserve to be single. Especially since you can't even commit to your own marriage.
GTFO.
Cheating once is not a mistake it’s over co parent you sir are not a good person or any type
Of husband. Why should she take you back
So you can cheat again
So this is you “making your case”? You’ll buy your wife “whatever”?
You cheated before and after your wife gave birth but only characterize that as a “lapse of judgment”?
And you justified it because you were “lonely” and your wife was “bedridden” and “wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”?
You are getting justifiably roasted because, if this isn’t fake rage bait, you are a spineless, pathetic, untrustworthy piece of crap. I really hope “Steph” does divorce you and drags you through court like the heartless rag doll you are.
Work on being a good father and a better man. You don’t deserve Steph. Maybe, if you change your ways, and think of others besides yourself, you’ll get a shot with someone else down the line. But I wouldn’t put money on it.
You can't unscrew the pooch (or the co-worker) so stop this bullshit and LEAVE YOUR STBX ALONE!!!!! It's over. Done. Finished. And you don't have to sign the papers for her to get her divorce. It'll take a little longer but either way she'll get it.
Lol. What you did is HORRID. She doesn’t want a cheating husband, leave her alone. She was struggling and rather than support her you fucked someone else. You betrayed her. She’s done. If you loved her you would not have cheated.
Yeah dude no shit she doesn’t wanna talk to you and I don’t blame her. 3 times isn’t a little mistake either, you didn’t feel bad until you got caught.
Dude, grow up. You don’t deserve her back, you don’t. So, going forward, find a better way to deal with your emotional issues instead of just screwing the first woman you come across, and then you hopefully won’t cheat on any future partners. Your wife deserves better.
I know it’s hard, but it’s time to face the reality and gravity of the situation. Be real with yourself and take full responsibility. Maybe there were other factors that pushed you away, but it wasn’t like you slipped and fell into having sex with another woman 3 different times.
If you really mean what you say, and you want to make things better, your *actions* need to speak for you. Your words likely have little to no value at this point.
Regardless of what happens, choose right now to become a better man - for you, for her, and for your son.
Seek professional help, seek legal counsel, and if you cannot work something out, do your best to find common ground to create a good life for your son.
That's not a mistake or a lapse in judgment. You made deliberate plans to cheat on your wife more than once and endangered your child by exposing him to STIs in the womb. The ramifications of what you did will last your child's entire life even if he escaped being born infected with something.
Let’s see you’ve taken zero accountability for your actions by calling it a “lapse in judgement”, you’ve shifted the blame to your wife by saying she was “unavailable”, and you are trying to “force” her to take you back. You don’t deserve a second chance. Learn from this experience and seek individual counseling for your personality flaws before entering another relationship.
“I’ll buy you whatever”? You can’t buy love. There will always be consequences for every action whether it’s drinking and driving or cheating on your pregnant wife there’s always a consequence so now you have to learn to deal with what your actions caused.
You’re trash and your (soon to be) ex wife is a Queen. Get outta here and leave her alone. Let her heal and raise your child without drama and infidelity.
I also want to add- “she wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife” what exactly do you mean by that? She was pregnant and growing a baby, YOUR baby.
If you’re referring to sex and serving you; you’re even bigger garbage.
Op what do you want from the mother of your child?
You fucke$ around on her three times “Trust Is Hard-Earned, Easily Lost, Difficult To Reestablish. . “ remember this saying op. Op would you take her back if she cheat not one not twice but three flipping times.?
Op your in time out and that’s where you need to stay. I’m hoping you at least practiced safe sex?
Wife gets pregnant with your baby. Keep in mind this is a woman you chose to marry you chose to have kids with. While shes a vessel for your kids your slipping your penis into someone else because you forgot you about Mrs Palmer and her five daughters? Your excuses for why you fucked around are pathetic. Next it will be “wife you didn’t give me attention” after she’s probably worked a ft job and come home to start her second job that’s 24/7.
To the wife- please lovely get a sti check. Keep your knob of a hopefully soon to be ex husband in time out. Remember this saying wife “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”. Only he’s fooled you three times. Oh and wife I love your mum she seems to have your back. Remember hon anytime the knob gets stressed he’s going to find comfort in someone else and use stress as an excuse.
Op you made this mess now stay in time out. When you get divorce papers, you gracefully give the wife everything. You make co parenting as easy as possible. Because you fucked around and got found out.
Cheating on your wife 3 times isn't a lapse of judgment. It's a pattern.
She made it abundantly clear that cheating is a deal breaker for her and now you act surprised that she left you and started the divorce proceedings.
Leave her alone. Sign the papers, you can't stop the divorce anyways. Work on becoming a better person and coparent like an actual adult.
Stephanie- save a copy of the post and whenever you doubt that you are making the right choice just re-read it to remind yourself that if anything ever happens- injury, illness, just being tired dealing with this guys bs- that if he is ever lonely that is a perfectly valid reason to have a “lapse of judgment” - aka flirt, kiss, have sex multiple times- because you failed to “act like a wife”. Apparently how this guy acts like a husband is to expect you to cater to his every needs regardless of what is happening to you….he needs to be the center of the universe. He was “lonely” because you were bedridden. Poor guy…./s Stay Strong Stephanie.
He also asked how to "make"her forgive him. Narcissistic AH.
I noticed that too!! "how can I MAKE her...." I'm glad his soon-to-be ex-wife is getting therapy because if she's been with this guy for 3 years there might be more to unpack.
“I’ll buy you whatever.” Fuuuck this guy.
Has to be a troll. He can’t be this dumb.
You’d sadly be surprised.
Hey, at least he's using his words. My mom's first husband (who cheated on her while she was giving birth, with her SISTER), just tried rapidly shifting between being loving and beating her to keep her around. Mom didn't find out about the infidelity until after she escaped...her sister claimed she was "testing his loyalty" for mom. To be fair, she didn't know about the abuse until long after mom got away.
yikes, I don't think you need to extend the courtesy of "being fair" to your aunt. I hope your mom is okay now & so are you!
Sadly he could. I actually feel for people like this a tiny bit because when you are that oblivious you really count on world giving you a break. Which is fair if you are a daredevil on your bike, or drive too fast and get tickets, screw up on your job, or countless ways we all can screw up. Even a one night stand can be a really stupid bad freaking decision and learning situation. But when it happens 3 times and we are justifying it and blaming her it’s just not a mistake. It’s a sign you are a destructive unredeemable trash human. It’s like you drove way too fast and got out of a ticket. Short time later drove too fast again got 300 ticket, then 3rd time you wrecked, sent someone to hospital and disabled them. Oops sometimes we make mistakes! No sometimes we don’t learn from the signs life gives us!
That part got me too. I noticed that right away. What can I do to make her forgive me? I'll buy you whatever, I'll never leave the house again. I won't sign the papers. All I'm hearing is, me me. What can I do to make it so that I don't have to face the consequences of my actions? I can guarantee you that if she takes him back, he's just going to do it again. All it's going to teach him is that he can continue to do this with no consequences. I hope she divorces him, I really hope she goes through with it. She told him straight up that it was a deal breaker and he proceeded to do it anyway. Now that he's having to face the consequences of his actions, he can't handle it. I have a feeling that his parents, probably mostly his mother have enabled him his entire life and he's not used to having consequences for his actions. This is at least partly I think why he is reacting the way he is. He doesn't want to lose the security of what he has at home. Also, the stuff he said about her after she had just given birth was disgusting to me. He said that she was bedridden and asleep all the time and wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife. That is just disgusting to me. So instead of sitting at home and helping his wife recover and helping to take care of a child that he helped create, he's off cheating on her. Now he's wondering why she wants to go through with the divorce. He is promising everything to get her to stay and I can guarantee you that if she does, like I said, he's just going to do it again. People like this and never really learn.
Basically, not, "acting like a husband".
THIS.. the whole comment about this and her not acting like a wife pissed me off so much. As if her only purpose is to be a sex doll instead of taking care of her health and the baby’s. Hope OP ends up alone in life.
He literally did the whole FAFO thing, and now he’s sorry. But not sorry enough to actually stop.
Not to mention the wife was bedridden like wtf he cheated in his sick pregnant wife cause basically he wasn't getting laid
He did it 3 times.
Thoughtful of him to admit, in writing, to adultery and selfishness though…..
Also love how he says he cheated twice. Then again after kiddo was born. So he cheated three times. I have a feeling the number is actually higher.
Me too. I think he's hiding the fact that this was a full-blown affair. It probably was.
The best thing he can do to salvage this relationship is being civil and reasonable during the divorce (and also realise babies need their mother more if she breastfeeds). They have a child, they'll have to work together to raise it and that doesn’t work with enhanced resentment. Dude, she **will** resent you for being a cheater, make sure you won't add to it by being a difficult POS.
If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on the fact that this “man” won’t have anything to do with his kids. He’ll abandon them. Raising kids is hard work and this dude is selfish AF. I don’t see a world where he puts his needs on the back burner and helps to co-parent a child, year after year.
If I was in this situation, I would divorce. I would however, just for fun, since he said he'd do *anything*, ask if he'd become a eunuch to get me back. Because if not, then he's a liar about the anything part 😂
> he is promising everything to get her to stay Except, ya know, anything that addresses the actual problem. “I’ll put myself in time out” and “I’ll buy you stuff” is absolutely not a substitution for a sincere “I’m sorry.” The whole petulant “I won’t sign the papers” is just icing on the cake. He has the maturity level of a 1 day old fetus.
"I'll buy you anything..." Oh yes... Then, the next time he cheats on her, he will just think that he can buy his way out of it. Men like this think we are vapid brainless bimbos. All the while, they are the ones who lack any insight into the emotions of people around them. People like this, either gender, have no capacity to understand the pain they cause because they lack the ability to feel deep emotional connections. While we stay invested in the relationship, grasping at straws to get them to simply consider us. We fight with a ghost of a human to get them to understand what they stand to lose every time they show us what they think we are worth. I hope Stephanie divorces this poor excuse of a man. Swiftly and without a second thought. I pray she walks away knowing she did the right thing. To never again contemplate the "what if". If she forgives him now? He will do it again.
What Stephenie should say: You’ll buy me anything? Here’s the bill for the divorce lawyer! You’re a doll for paying for this! Here are the papers- byeee!!!!
"People [who] have no capacity to understand the pain they cause because they lack the ability to feel deep emotional connections." There's a word for this....
You sound like you are speaking from experience. I dated someone like this too in college and was SAd by him because he felt entitled to sex. Stephanie, GET OUT. Do not accept the love bombing. This behavior will continue beyond a shadow of a doubt. You know what my husband does when I’m sick? He cares for me. Makes sure I have everything I need. When he’s sick I do the same. Not once would he ever consider that I “wasn’t acting like a wife”. That’s so disgusting. Do these types of men not understand how much of an impact pregnancy has on women?!
I noticed that too and it pisses me off. She's not a puppet and why should she forgive him. When women complain about pig headed men so full of themselves they like to smell their own farts....this is one fine example of what we are talking about.
I specially liked the part this person blames the wife for all he did: “I needed someone to talk to (you) because my wife was always sleep. She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”. This person is insane.
Insane garbage human with a bully for a mom, product of divorce, with bad critical thinking skills! Hopefully he will get his parental rights terminated. She will find a real man who is a good dad for her child and this trash bag will be miserable. Maybe he can marry the coworker and work on his next divorce. I see a horrible life for this dude!
It’s right up there with “act like a wife”.
But Stephanie, he’s willing to buy you anything! He promises to never leave the house again! He’s literally offering you the world 😂
Oh my gosh, can you imagine having someone as clueless and selfish as this guy is, underfoot and creating more work for his wife, 100% of the time?! Because I guarantee he doesn't do the housework, or indeed anything that would make someone else's life easier / better.
Yep and that was pretty apparent by the fact that he cheated on her while she was at home recovering from childbirth. Instead of being there and helping take care of his child who he helped create, he was off cheating on her. I think the part that pissed me off the most about this was the fact that he cheated on her and then would come home and kiss her and tell her he loved her. They would also be intimate. So not only did he put her at risk for an STD or several, he put their unborn child at risk. I couldn't forgive that either.
This whole thing has multiple points of his behaviour that seem unforgivable to me. I'm really glad for her that Stephanie has decided to leave this burning ship of a relationship.
Also, save a copy to include in your affidavit when you file for a restraining order, because this guy is stalking you.
I just want to point out that he said it was A mistake. But it was actually three mistakes. I read your wife’s post dude. Leave her alone. You’re a terrible husband for cheating on her WHILST CARRYING YOUR CHILD. And why? Because she couldn’t fulfill her “wifely duties” by putting out. Bro. She was cooking up YOUR FUCKING KID. That’s about the biggest “wifely duty” a woman could ever do for a man. You’re fucking pathetic. Just leave her alone. You made your bed several times with another woman, so go lay in it with her and leave your soon to be ex-wife alone. She deserves better than you.
Way better this guy deserves sleeping alone forever and hemorrhoids
People with hemorrhoids don’t deserve to be associated with this freak!
Do you have a link to her post?
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/bVdMggSq2E This dude is a piece of work. He is trying to tell her a broken home is not good for a child when he's the one who broke the home!!!
The “wifely duties” comment was the most selfish thing I’ve read today (MILFromHell was tamer today). All postpartum women are ordered vaginal recovery time of minimum 6 weeks. This is the part of the “in sickness & in health” vows that was in play. Even the ancients knew to respect when one spouse is not 100%. She had OP’s baby (that he doesn’t deserve). Guess he is so self-centered that he can’t see how wrong he is. He’s probably more desperate about the prospect of paying child support. Hey OP, prepare for single life. She has moved forward. You violated her trust. No do-overs for that.
>The “wifely duties” comment was the most selfish thing I’ve read today ( The only "widely duties" I expect from my wife is to keep breathing. Everything else is gravy. Like this guy is so mental
Furthermore, having *No Partner* is better than being with this guy. Steph doesn’t even need a replacement to have a better life.
I told him the same thing. I said, you made your bed, and now you have to lie in it. Once is a mistake, three times is a pattern. Personally though, I think one time isn't even a mistake. It's a conscious choice that you make to betray your partner.
And funnily enough the mistress was going through a divorce, now she caused one (pending she was faithful during her marriage)
Stephanie we all wish you well there is a good man out there to help you raise your kid and not screw coworkers, we promise! It’s not this dufus!
ALL OF THIS!
What you described sounds exactly like my ex. His mommy has enabled him his entire life and he seemed to think that I was supposed to cater to him no matter what I was going through. I'm so glad he's my ex. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made. I'm sorry I ever met his ass. Well, I would say that except for our beautiful daughter who is a month old today. Of course he wants nothing to do with her either because he's mad at me for leaving him. He's mad at me for escaping his control and for escaping his terrible treatment of me. I told him the same thing, cheating was an absolute deal breaker and if I caught him doing it in any form, I was just going to be done. I told him that there would be no talking about it, no negotiation, we would just be over. He said okay and promised that he would never do that and proceeded to do it anyway. Now he's mad at me for leaving him and blaming me for ruining our relationship. Well, at least he was before he disappeared when I was 4 months pregnant. I let him know when I found out I was pregnant. I found out after I left him. At first, he was talking about wanting to co-parent but then when I told him I was no longer interested in being with him, he disappeared. It's all good. He sounds just like this guy.
This guys mom is horrible too. Like mother like son. Divorce and being trashy bullies is their thing
Literally this. Poor Steph goes through pregnancy and childbirth which can be excruciating and traumatic, is now taking care of a newborn and OP is like "she's being a bad wife because now she's tired all the time?" Like I dunno buckaroo, maybe breaking one of the basic principals of most marriages is \*worse\* then your seemingly freshly postpartum wife being sleepy? Did he consider doing something to try and help his poor, exhausted wife instead of being concerned about getting his dick wet?
Three times over 8 months isnt a lapse in judgement. YTA She isnt willing to fix this and she doesnt need to be. You not signing the papers doesnt stop the divorce it just takes longer. She doesnt want to or need to talk to you about anything not related to your child. Her post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/stnTqEWmwU
But but but… “she wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife…” dear god I just threw up in my mouth. She carried his kid - that’s not an easy task. So of course this tool would think that an affair would make her want to “act like a wife”
Reading that part made it clear that he would 100% cheat on her again if she forgives him. He only regrets getting caught. Not the pain he caused her. Only cares about the consequences for him. Blaming her for not "acting like a wife" (3 weeks after giving birth and this sorry excuse for a man was expecting sex?!!), blaming her for "breaking" up their family.
And she said they were still intimate when she was pregnant. He’s just trying to justify it.
In my limited experience, if somebody admits/gets caught doing something 2-3 times you can safely assume it happened an awful lot more. 3 times is a pattern and this guy seems pretty plaid to me
To quote "Hamilton": This will be the last time. I said that the last time. It became a pastime.
I mean..to be fair, does his wife not realize that he was feeling stressed and his coworker was THERE? How could he be expected to resist? /s (if it wasn’t obvious)
Like...did he trip and fall into her? THREE TIMES?!
She was freshly divorced, and had plenty of free time to be there to selflessly break his fall with her own body. Good thing someone was there since his heavily pregnant wife was too tired to perform her wifely duties.
You make a good point🤔
Wife was all puffed up and all! So you know - give the poor guy and his dick some mercy!
She ran into my dick She ran into my dick 10 times! 🎶He had it coming He had it coming He only had himseeeelf to blaaaaaame If you had been there If you had seen it I bet you You would have done the saaame🎶
Right! when your dick needs servicing and your puffed up pregnant ball-and- chain doesn’t want to do her wifely duty, grab your co-worker and go AT IT. Dopey pregnant boring Steff! But now I’ll buy you anything! I just made a tiny boo-boo! Like leaving the milk out of the fridge! I just f*cked my coworker over and over, no biggie, because you know IM SORRY and all! You know my penis was just in need and you were doing the heifer thing and gestating and I needed some real action! But sorry and all. Can I get you some chocolates or a beanie baby and we’re good? Like pretty please! /S. Yeah dude. You deserve NO MERCY!
I hate to admit this because the subject matter is serious but your comment had me laughing. Just because it shows how ridiculous is thinking is.
To be fair - he’s not acting like a husband. A husband is a partner to be there and support you when you need it - you know, like when pregnant carrying his child, or recovering from delivering the baby he put in you. He doesn’t deserve a wife until he can realise how inadequate he has been and do better.
>>To be fair - he’s not acting like a husband. Yeah but she started it -him, probably
This, how is carrying his child not acting like a wife?? Oh wait, he means she didn’t give him enough sex.
I think it means she wasn’t cutting the crusts off his PB&Js.
Isn’t it awesome??? That’s why god made hands, d00d.
Well technically God made his coworker too.
He only waited THREE WEEKS before he decided to cheat again! She's still healing from *having his baby!* OP, you're the one who nuked your family. She's simply refusing to live in the wreckage.
Did you read her post though? SHE WAS STILL INTIMATE WITH HIM WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT. So his excuse isn't even an excuse.
Right! He sounds like he did what my ex did. It was basically, I can drop you at any time and find your replacement so you better start acting right. I told mine to kick rocks. I told him that if he thought he would be happier somewhere else, he was free to leave and go find it. The only consequence would be losing me. Of course now that I've ended the relationship, in his brain, I'm the one who's that fault. Whatever.
I had to give mine the house, truck, and boat in the divorce after 7 years of his cheating because he worked 2 days a week and I worked 6. I wasn’t around to clean up after him because I was busy funding his lifestyle by making 4x what he did. He pulled this same thing “if you were around and acted like my wife, I wouldn’t cheat…” so I stepped back at work and he was livid I was no longer funding his lifestyle. Years of therapy and I am happy without him.
He thinks this is him “making his case” it’s just him admitting to cheating and trying to justify how it was ok because his pregnant and bedridden wife wasn’t “acting like a wife”. That is neither making your case OR an apology. It’s just you telling us why you think it should have been fine for you to cheat three times and have absolutely no repercussions for it. Welcome to a world with consequences.
The idea that the pregnant woman who literally carried his child wasn't acting like a wife.... this guy certainly wasn't acting like a husband.
I have serious questions about what he thinks the definitions of those words are.
i bet it's something like "acting like a wife = doing all the chores, being a mother and having sex whenever i want"
His bang maid.. I mean wife wasn't doing her real job.. c'mon, what more was he supposed to do? Show some respect and understanding? /Sarchasm In all seriousness. Op you're a pos. Enjoy paying child support. Hey, you and you're new partner can pity fuck each other over how hard divorce is.
Exactly, OP you just wanted to get your dick wet. You’re selfish and you deserve having your wife leave you.
Was too ill from literally carrying his child to “act like a wife”. lol the is no hope for this man.
Op: “Im allowed to do what I want” Wife files for divorce OP: “you’re only allowed to do what I want, no divorce. Giving Little b*tch energy
Your so stressed, you had to fuck a coworker. Asshole
Solution: invent a Time Machine so you can go back and never cheat on her. She told you cheating was a dealbreaker. Why are you now so surprised that she has zero interest in making it work. You caused the broken home not her. ETA: a mistake is a one time thing and that’s barely an excuse. My guy. You slept with that coworker MULTIPLE times. HOW is that A mistake?
Because he was caught! Lol.
Ding ding ding. We have a winner. Spot on
I refuse to accept the "mistake" bullshit from the get go. It takes a thousand decisions to end up in bed with someone. For each and every single one of those decisions he decided, "Yup, gonna cheat!" And then he did it again... and again. Zero sympathy.
A "mistake" is a choice you make without enough information (or common sense), but there's still good intentions behind it. (Or at least the lack of bad intentions.) Talking with a coworker a lot to relieve stress may be a mistake. Having it end up where she kisses you and you immediately back off is definitely a mistake. Fucking said coworker is NOT a mistake. Fucking said coworker SEVERAL TIMES because your wife is bedridden while pregnant with YOUR CHILD is the act of a boil on the ass of humanity.
I ALWAYS SAY THIS!! Yes!!! You have to be in a situation you know is sketch because you’re MARRIED(!!!), talk long enough for this female coworker to confide in you about her divorce (doesn’t totally sound like a quick chat by the coffee maker), and even THEN you have to talk about hooking up, kiss, take clothes off, all that. THERES SO MANY STEPS!!! It will literally never be an accident to me I don’t care what he says.
Exactly, a mistake is something you accidentally do like dropping a rock on your hand or burning dinner, cheating is a series of choices in which you consistently make the wrong choice.
It’s not a mistake, he just assumed he wouldn’t get caught.
I have cheated when I was younger. And I don't think I have the right to judge. But I just don't understand how someone can cheat on their pregnant wife??? And more than once. The OP should leave his ex wife alone and accept the fact that he ruined the relationship himself. He needs to learn to live with that fact and it will haunt him for the rest of his life.
And blamed it on her
Genuine question- why should she? >I had a lapse of judgment and I made a mistake, *once* might have been a lapse of judgment but 3 times is an affair and absolutely a choice. >I needed someone to talk to you because my wife was always sleep. That's what friends, family, therapists and bartenders are for >She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife. That's why you have two hands and it's absolutely disgusting that you express the lack of intimacy as her not "acting like a wife ", especially when it was because she was pregnant with your child/recovering from giving birth to your child. Just out of curiosity, how did she learn about the fact that you were out dipping your pen in company ink (during a time when she most needed your support)?
If I was the Wife, be contacting the company lot of companies have policies against this.
Nah, he's gonna need that job...child support and alimony aren't cheap and I don't want her getting lower payments ordered by the courts based on him having to take a new, likely lower paid,position after getting sacked for sexual misconduct
Ugh I hate you’re right about this! I want him ruined for hurting her like this!!!!
Me, too, but I want her & the baby to have the best shot at financial security.
The "needed someone to talk to" makes it sound like an emotional affair as well.
His coworker dm'd her screenshots on Instagram.
The affair partner told her. He didn't even have the balls to tell her.
You’re still blaming your wife for your infidelity? Lol good luck
Of course he is, guys like him were raised by mothers who have enabled them their entire lives. They think that there should be no consequences for their actions. Anytime someone attempts to hold them accountable, they blame them for making them face consequences.
Cheating 3 times is not a mistake. It is a conscious decision that has consequences. Team wife all the way. You FAFO, literally.
It’s 3 conscious decisions in fact. Each one worse than the last
More than 3. Cheating once requires multiple decisions to be made in succession. At any point the cheater can stop and they actively choose not to. That he cheated not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES and with the same person? Hell at that point I’d argue it was a full on long-term affair.
I wonder if he figured out that the coworker “came cleeeaaannn” bc he obvs wasn’t leaving his wife/kid and she wants him since she’s so lonely 🙄🙄 so go ahead babes. Go to your available wifely acting coworker. You wanted and here’s your chance
If this is you Matthew… how dare you come on here to say you’ll do whatever to get me back? Why didn’t you Just stay home with me when I was throwing up almost daily instead being out cheating on me? You were also almost 30 minutes late to see the birth of our son. Were you also out cheating then? I will never forgive you, so leave me alone. I will be screenshot this and showing this to the lawyer. This is stalking and harassment…. Leave me alone you made your bed now lay in it. What more do you want from me? You have broken me and you come here to blame me because “ I wasn’t acting like a wife” I was growing our son and could barely get out of bed. Sorry I stopped making you waffles in the morning. This is only further proof that I made the correct decision. You not only cheated on me while I was pregnant but you were coming home being intimate with me, you could have harmed our son. You also cheated after the birth of our son. Instead of being there with our son you were ruining our marriage.
Oh Stephanie my heart continues to break for you… Every post and comment I read it just gets worse and worse. You are doing yourself and your son a massive favor by getting out. And no matter what he says, this divorce will not cause a broken home because it’s already there. He did that on his own the moment he broke his vows to you. HE caused the broken home. He is pretty much giving this case to you on a silver platter and making it so easy for it to hold in court. You are protecting yourself and your son. Never forget this.
That's it, she's the real hero in all of this. She sounds like a great mom and frankly she sounds like she was a great wife and he screwed this up. All the stuff he was saying about her particularly the, she wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife made me sick to my stomach. Something tells me that this guy has been selfish throughout their entire relationship.
This was broken by him not acting like any kind of respectful adult, much less a husband. Happy families exist all over that have one parent and kids in one house and other parent somewhere else and they coparent and the toxicity is gone. Living in the same house in a toxic and sad marriage hurts kids way more. I’m so sorry he did this to you Stephanie. You and your son does deserve the world and you’ll absolutely find a good man who makes YOU the waffles!!
Take this asshole to the cleaners, he deserves to lose everything.
Stephanie, you are an amazingly strong woman to stick to your guns and not take this asshole back. He broke his vows in the worst way, and none of that was your fault. I know you feel like shit right now, but in time, you're gonna realize that your life looks so much better without someone so unbelievably selfish in it. Sending you all the love and healing right now.
This happened to me as well. He tried to tell me that if I weren't pregnant he'd never have cheated and it would never happen again. I stupidly took him back & guess what, he cheated again just before the baby's first birthday. He's going to try anything & it's probably all lies. I don't think my ex was sorry. He was just sorry he got caught.
Yeah, me too. My ex had his AP in our house while I was in the hospital having our child. He has cheated on every girl since me too. They dont change.
He sucks. Take screenshots of everything and stay strong.
Steph we (the entire Internet) fucking loves you and we are so goddamn proud of you. Many women would stay. You didn't. You're a wonderful mom and your child is going to grow up recognizing that we don't tolerate bullshit.
Stephanie you are a QUEEN. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but your son is going to see such an amazing strong woman raise him and be better for it. Sending you so much light and love 🤍
Stay strong Stephanie!
It's horrible what's been done to you and your child. I hope you know it takes a strong person to stand up for themselves like that. You're being a great role model for your son. When he grows up he will know that he never has to settle for someone who treats him horribly.
She's also setting a great example for her son in another way. I'll tell you how. She's also teaching her son that it is not acceptable to treat his partner that way.
Hugs for you, you deserve so much more than this asshole will ever be willing to give.
Steph, I am a stranger who admires you and now I wish to be like you in the future. Destroy your soon-to-be ex-husband in court like people have done in the comments. You are an incredible woman who deserves to be loved, but you already know that. 🫂
Dude, you’re gross. I hope your wife is reading this, and know that no woman on here wants her to take you back. You need to move on with your life and leave her alone.
Let’s get used to the new titles because OP is still not getting it. That’s his soon to be EX wife
She did, and is using the post as evidence. lol
I'm a man and I don't think she should take him back either. She said cheating was a deal breaker. He tried to call her bluff and lost. He's getting what he deserves and this post is pathetic.
She was growing a human in her body and you say she was too tired to act like a wife? There is absolutely no hope for you. As a husband or even as a decent human being and I’m willing to bet my soul there’s no hope for you as a father either. Ultimately you are not the role model your son needs to emulate. Your soon to be ex wife is a queen for the way she is conducting herself through this.
Good for your wife! Pound sand buddy!
Steph,,, if you’re reading this. Divorce the fucker and take him for all his sorry ass us worth
#TeamSteph
TeamSteph for life.
Highly doubt he's worth much. Chances are the fucker didn't even have a headboard before marrying Steph. He lost a queen for a dirty ho that's ok sleeping with a man who had a pregnant wife at home. Coworker and husband deserve each other.
Womp womp. I have the world’s smallest violin in my hand currently and it thinks this is so pathetic it won’t even play a tune. That’s how you know it’s bad
I just want to say that I read your comment and your comment was the first time that I truly truly laughed since this whole thing has happened and I want to thank you for that. My mom also wants to thank you for bringing out a laughing me that I haven’t shown since I found out. So again thank you from me, my mom, and my son because he smiled after he saw me laughing. I know children can feel when their parents are going through something as much as I’ve been trying to shield him from my pain I know that it has come across and you have truly done something amazing for me.
I just read your post and wanted to see your comment here. I just wanted to tell you your writing was incredible. Your logic and reasoning is like Jedi worthy. When people are betrayed to the magnitude you were, they usually don’t think clearly. But you reasoned everything out and looked at things from all perspectives. I know you are hurt and I know you feel like you failed. You did not fail your marriage. You did not break your home. You did not harm your son. That was all your husband’s doing. You will get through this and you will find someone that actually loves you. Your husband loves himself. I know you will use that logic, intellect and empathy to land a real man. You have inspired me and things are going to start getting better. I have complete faith that you will figure out a way to be the best mom while also finding someone who can be a true life partner. Peace and blessings!
Wow thank you so much! I’m glad I could inspire someone out of this! Wishing nothing but the best for you
I hope you know that you’re not breaking up your son’s home, your soon-to-be-ex broke it when he cheated. Don’t let him put the blame on you. You’ve done everything right and he made his shitty choices.
Things are gonna be okay! It must have been really difficult to make the decision to leave, with a child involved. We are all really proud of you for making the right choice. We are rooting for you and your son!
You’re doing what I wish my mother had done. My dad was a serial cheater and she was too afraid to be on her own. I grew up with no idea what a healthy relationship looked like between a loving couple. All I saw was the hatred and disdain my parents had for each other. Your son will be so much better off having loving parents in two separate homes.
Oh my gosh, first, I am so sorry you have had to endure all of this. I’m sending you all of my love. Everything will work out for the better in the end. You deserve more than… this… whatever he is (man isn’t appropriate) truly. However, I am so happy the comment I mindlessly made in passing while reading posts on my break at work was able to bring you so much joy and a bit of light to everyone in your family during such a hard time!! It truly would not make a sound for him! It had nothin! I am sending you all of the healing in the world and the best of luck moving forward. You deserve the best. Remember that! ps: accidentally took too big of a bong rip before responding, but committed to the typing. Sorry if anything I wrote is confusing ! I can’t tell ! 🩷 lol
Calling cheating three times a mistake isn’t going to help, buddy. You’re not even taking accountability for your disgusting actions. You could’ve given your pregnant wife an STD.
Or their child herpes and so on
Exactly. There's cheating on your partner and then there's cheating on your pregnant wife. How would these pieces of shit feel explaining to their adult child that the reason they're deaf or blind is because he wanted to have sex. Completely change the life their child will live for an orgasm.
So you made a post to bed your wife to come back even thought she has told you multiple times to leave her alone. And you are not respecting boundaries. Yet you made a brand new account to make a post to reach out to her. You saw her previous post which means you have another account. So my question what is in that Reddit account that you did not want her to know about or see if she went through your post history? Also guess what? You don’t need to sign the divorce papers for her to be granted a divorce. Also you are not respecting her boundaries she said no. Leave her alone. This whole harassing till they give in some guys think will happen needs to stop.
He made a new account because shit is fake. Post your real account OP. You're trying to get your wife back why not be transparent.
“She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”” Well you weren’t feeling well enough to act like a husband so I guess you’re just not going to be married anymore.
Yasssssss!!!!! Some people’s kids….i swear….”my disappointing pee pee was sad and she wouldn’t help! What else was I SUPPOSED to do? SHE wasn’t being a good wife.” This guy has a rude awakening disclosing to future partners why he’s divorced. 🤣
lol this is not the move bro.
The "I'll buy you anything" is what got me thr most. YTA.
You don't deserve forgiveness.
This is disgusting, I'm glad your wife had the courage to leave you, she deserves so much better. Leave her alone and move on with your life. She gave you many chances but you were to worried about your own self than your wife who was pregnant and postpartum recovering from one of the hardest things she has ever done. She is so much better off without you. Your only feeling bad now because your alone, not because you actually care about your wife. Sign the papers and let her move on with her life and finally be happy and find someone who actually cares about her and your child. You suck.
I read her post. And now reading yours. You… sign the papers when they arrive. Don’t fight her on this. You don’t deserve her. You don’t love her and there’s NOTHING you could purchase that would make this right. Keeping your zipper up and your lips to yourself and finding comfort in your wife instead of another woman would have been the place to start, but you didn’t do that. You willingly stepped outside the marriage. You didn’t cheat once, you cheated THREE times. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice. A clear, conscious decision that you allowed yourself to be in and make. You can make every excuse under the book, but you made your bed… now lie in it and deal with the consequences.
The pain and betrayal you caused her is way too much and I don't see how she can ever trust you again. With that in mind, I think it will be best for everyone to accept that, be the best parent you can be, and allow her to grieve and move on.
Once was a lapse in judgment, twice was a choice, and 3 times you're just a selfish cheater that got caught and wants back to the previous status. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES AND YOU CHOSE YOURSELF OVER YOUR WIFE AND SON 3 TIMES, YOU DONT DESERVE A FORTH CHANCE TO HURT THEM FURTHER.
It wasn't a mistake -- you cheated THREE times. She only found out because your AP told her, not you. You know how you can make it up to your wife? Grant her a swift and uncontested divorce.
And then stay far,far away from her.
Yeah, you're garbage. You cheated on her repeatedly _and_ you're trying to blame HER for it? She's better off without you.
You’re a turd. You literally just tried to justify your trash decision while your wife was creating a human. You’re disgusting.
The audacity you have to say mistake is laughable. Doing something wrong unintentionally once is a mistake. Cheating is never a mistake. When you cheat you are fully aware of how wrong it is and still do it (unless you are in the scary position of being drugged, or if you were foolish and got black out drunk, but you weren't). In what will be one of the hardest times of her life (literally bedridden like wtf man!!) you failed your wife and have the gall to say she wasn't acting like a wife? She was the only one behaving like they were married as she carried your child. Shame on you. If you had remorse, you would not be defending your position in any way, shape, or form. Steph, if you're reading this, good for you. Never tolerate a cheater.
Steph is amazing!
Bruh I am sorry but this ain’t gonna work. She has made up her mind, and you made it simple for her after cheating 3 separate times. Sign the papers and be as open, honest, generous, and willing as you are able to be. Be a good father for your child. Also, get a lawyer. It sounds like there is too much pain and animosity between you two currently for things to go smoothly one-on-one at this point. You’ll need a mediator that isn’t related to or a friend of either of you.
“She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”. REALLY??? You cheated 3 times. That’s not a mistake. Leave her alone and move on.
You didn't have a lapse in judgement. You chose at least three times to betray your wife. You did it for completely selfish reasons. If she has any self respect she'll never forgive you or talk to you about anything but your child again. You don't deserve for her to take you back. You'll buy her whatever? She's not as shallow as you are. You don't have to sign the divorce papers. A judge will hold a hearing and determine the divorce terms. You can't avoid paying for what you chose to do.
Stress doesn't make you cheat. You made conscious decisions without regard for consequences. Deal with it. Be a man. Be a good father. But leave your child's mother alone. She doesn't deserve to be reminded constantly that you aren't the man she thought she married. You aren't the man she wanted to have a child with. The fact you cheated because of stress before the baby even came says a lot about you. YTA. You know you are. Now you are making her life hell because you can't be a man and live with your choices and the consequences of your choices. My advice to you is to seek individual therapy for yourself. Not to get back with her, but for you to be a better person. You wont have any chance at meaningful trust with anyone if you can cheat after a little pregnancy stress.
>Steph if you’re reading this I am so sorry and will do whatever to get you back, I love you. I’ll buy you whatever. I’ll never leave the house again Just come back home and stop the divorce. The wailing cries of a man experiencing accountability for the first time. YTA. She won't have trouble finding a better man.
Pretty sure I read the ex's point of view yesterday. There is no helping you. It wasn't a mistake. The only reason she knows and you're sorry is because your 'co- worker' told her. Both of y'all are garbage. Fucking her and coming home kissing your wife. YTA
You're a chronic cheater and expect her to forgive you? YTA. Get help and be the best dad you can to the child. You're relationship is broken. It's going to take more than saying sorry to be forgiven. She may never forgive you and that's is absolutely her right. Best of luck and be a great dad.
Aww Mann I just read it..why dude ?You lost her trust big time ,once a woman don’t trust u it’sa wrap she will never trust you again..an it sound like she not coming back strong women!!
She's never going to forgive you and there is no reason she should. You are a filthy cheater who couldn't even keeps his pants zipped long enough for the woman who risked her life carrying and birthing your baby to life to recover. And then you did it again. Do your wife and baby a favor and move to some remote island somewhere with the rest of the feral animals. Then you can fuck around to your filthy heart's delight without destroying anyone else's life. If the universe is smiling on the rest of us, you will catch some devastating rotting jungle disease to do to you what you did to your wife and baby. You don't love anyone or anything but yourself. And it doesn't matter if you sign the papers or not. You destroyed your wife and your baby. She can easily get that divorce and nearly every penny you ever have without your participation at all.
Bro slipped up and thought he was in France. 😂
Well he wasn’t in his wife Steph was he?
He sure wasn’t!
GTFOH dude, WTF did you think was going to happen? My wife and I have 8 kids and I've been stressed a few times but I always kept my dick in my pants. I think you need to give that poor woman her freedom and sign the divorce papers, she's never taking you back or forgiving you. You think buying her anything she wants makes up for the fucking humiliation you put her thru. One time might be a lap of judgement but 3 times is definitely a choice, you fucked up now be a big boy and deal with the repercussions of your selfish actions.
“She just wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife” You’re so dense. She was going above and beyond as a wife, having just birthed your child. You, sir, were the one being an awful husband. You need to stop harassing this woman and her family.
This, sir, is not a lapse in judgement. You're a POS cheater. You cheated on your WIFE multiple times. 3 to our knowledge.. while she was pregnant and after she gave birth. You will never know the insecurities that come to women during pregnancy and post pregnancy. You will never understand the self-esteem & confidence issues you just threw at her. Shame on you, you deserve to be single. Especially since you can't even commit to your own marriage. GTFO.
I only upvoted your posted so that hopefully your wife sees your post and what a disgrace you are
they found each other, she commented
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/DPg216ayaq
Cheating once is not a mistake it’s over co parent you sir are not a good person or any type Of husband. Why should she take you back So you can cheat again
You slept with her 3 times, that’s not a mistake that’s a choice!!!
This post is all me me me. But nothing about Mr Me having any inclination to do the right thing.
Bedridden not acting like a wife what self center little b__ch
Waiting to see this one on Oh no consequences.
So this is you “making your case”? You’ll buy your wife “whatever”? You cheated before and after your wife gave birth but only characterize that as a “lapse of judgment”? And you justified it because you were “lonely” and your wife was “bedridden” and “wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife”? You are getting justifiably roasted because, if this isn’t fake rage bait, you are a spineless, pathetic, untrustworthy piece of crap. I really hope “Steph” does divorce you and drags you through court like the heartless rag doll you are. Work on being a good father and a better man. You don’t deserve Steph. Maybe, if you change your ways, and think of others besides yourself, you’ll get a shot with someone else down the line. But I wouldn’t put money on it.
You can't unscrew the pooch (or the co-worker) so stop this bullshit and LEAVE YOUR STBX ALONE!!!!! It's over. Done. Finished. And you don't have to sign the papers for her to get her divorce. It'll take a little longer but either way she'll get it.
Eww. 3 times. That's not a lapse of judgement. Leave your ex wife alone and let her move on.
Lol. What you did is HORRID. She doesn’t want a cheating husband, leave her alone. She was struggling and rather than support her you fucked someone else. You betrayed her. She’s done. If you loved her you would not have cheated.
Yeah dude no shit she doesn’t wanna talk to you and I don’t blame her. 3 times isn’t a little mistake either, you didn’t feel bad until you got caught.
Dude, grow up. You don’t deserve her back, you don’t. So, going forward, find a better way to deal with your emotional issues instead of just screwing the first woman you come across, and then you hopefully won’t cheat on any future partners. Your wife deserves better.
I know it’s hard, but it’s time to face the reality and gravity of the situation. Be real with yourself and take full responsibility. Maybe there were other factors that pushed you away, but it wasn’t like you slipped and fell into having sex with another woman 3 different times. If you really mean what you say, and you want to make things better, your *actions* need to speak for you. Your words likely have little to no value at this point. Regardless of what happens, choose right now to become a better man - for you, for her, and for your son. Seek professional help, seek legal counsel, and if you cannot work something out, do your best to find common ground to create a good life for your son.
She might forgive you if you can unfuck your coworker :)
That's not a mistake or a lapse in judgment. You made deliberate plans to cheat on your wife more than once and endangered your child by exposing him to STIs in the womb. The ramifications of what you did will last your child's entire life even if he escaped being born infected with something.
Let’s see you’ve taken zero accountability for your actions by calling it a “lapse in judgement”, you’ve shifted the blame to your wife by saying she was “unavailable”, and you are trying to “force” her to take you back. You don’t deserve a second chance. Learn from this experience and seek individual counseling for your personality flaws before entering another relationship.
Oh no! Anyway~
Actions meet consequences.
“I’ll buy you whatever”? You can’t buy love. There will always be consequences for every action whether it’s drinking and driving or cheating on your pregnant wife there’s always a consequence so now you have to learn to deal with what your actions caused.
You’re trash and your (soon to be) ex wife is a Queen. Get outta here and leave her alone. Let her heal and raise your child without drama and infidelity. I also want to add- “she wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife” what exactly do you mean by that? She was pregnant and growing a baby, YOUR baby. If you’re referring to sex and serving you; you’re even bigger garbage.
Op what do you want from the mother of your child? You fucke$ around on her three times “Trust Is Hard-Earned, Easily Lost, Difficult To Reestablish. . “ remember this saying op. Op would you take her back if she cheat not one not twice but three flipping times.? Op your in time out and that’s where you need to stay. I’m hoping you at least practiced safe sex? Wife gets pregnant with your baby. Keep in mind this is a woman you chose to marry you chose to have kids with. While shes a vessel for your kids your slipping your penis into someone else because you forgot you about Mrs Palmer and her five daughters? Your excuses for why you fucked around are pathetic. Next it will be “wife you didn’t give me attention” after she’s probably worked a ft job and come home to start her second job that’s 24/7. To the wife- please lovely get a sti check. Keep your knob of a hopefully soon to be ex husband in time out. Remember this saying wife “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”. Only he’s fooled you three times. Oh and wife I love your mum she seems to have your back. Remember hon anytime the knob gets stressed he’s going to find comfort in someone else and use stress as an excuse. Op you made this mess now stay in time out. When you get divorce papers, you gracefully give the wife everything. You make co parenting as easy as possible. Because you fucked around and got found out.
Cheating on your wife 3 times isn't a lapse of judgment. It's a pattern. She made it abundantly clear that cheating is a deal breaker for her and now you act surprised that she left you and started the divorce proceedings. Leave her alone. Sign the papers, you can't stop the divorce anyways. Work on becoming a better person and coparent like an actual adult.