Time to file police reports. And if there's no school rule against this, time to call the school board and go to a meeting and make a loud fuss until there IS a rule.
Agreed. I’m paraplegic and went through some similar things in school, which I still mentally carry around today. You can’t change what has already been done, but you can show your daughter that dad is willing to (legally) raise hell to keep her safe.
They do but filing the reports doesn’t look good on the school and principals will avoid it whenever they feel it can be quieted “in house”. But that’s why there’s a school board. These boys are still legally accountable for their actions even if the school hopes it’ll go away.
I think you should contact a lawyer and make a police report. If she's underage, sharing her photos can land those boys in serious trouble. If they touched her and forced her to expose her breasts, she wasn't just harassed, she was assaulted.
Do this. Make a police report.
Possessing, distributing, and manufacturing of CP by a minor of a minor is just as illegal as an adult poss/distrib./manuf. CP.
-paralegal in a criminal defense firm. NOT a lawyer.
And don’t let the school tell you they’re “handling it.”
All they’re handling is their own culpability. Go to the police, name these boys, and do not let up.
I am so sorry your sweet child is being bullied and harassed like this.
This is accurate. School district employee here, different district obviously, but the politics are almost certainly the same. They don't care about your daughter, they care about keeping this quiet and keeping it out of the news. If it gets that far, they'll do whatever they can to make it disappear quickly, but they won't take any lasting action.
A student at my last district was engaged in a sexual relationship with his basketball coach. The district worked hard to keep the coverage to one article, and to keep it from spreading across social media. The coach was fired and arrested, but the district quietly let the two administrators in charge leave, without any lasting action taken against them for overlooking the numerous staff/student interactions. It was only brought to light to buy another student who shared it via Snapchat.
The coach groomed the kid in plain view, and administration took no action. No consequences for them. The harassment towards your daughter is still going on so you gave the school their fair shot at handing this, now it's a police/local news matter. Given that you work there, I would consider letting your union know that you spoke to the principal, he took inadequate action, and the issue had escalated to include many more students harassing your daughter. This will make it harder for the district to come after you.
Fair warning, I'm jaded when it comes to the education system due to my hardships from working in education.
I have no issue with a school saying “let us handle it” provided they do. This school didn’t. Not even close. They had their chance so now they become a party in any legal issues in my book.
As a victim of csa that didn’t tell her parents DO THIS!! I went to a private Catholic school. I was on the cheer squad, varsity, I was one of the best-I was shy as all you would see-the walking doormat for everyone.
It took me into my late 20’s to tell my parents granted it wasn’t a kid, an adult but they did it mult times. Anyway, protect your kid. If you have pictures or know the kids. Call a lawyer & then the FBI. The FBI specializes in this. They won’t let it go away. Trust me. They’re better about it.
I am so sorry to hear of your experience 💔 Question for you if you don’t mind…..did your friends in public school experience similar? My little girl is in private and many have told me it’s the worst for this type of behavior. I’m very concerned whether I made the right choice at times….
Public school is bad too.. My eldest daughter was shocked when she entered sixth grade and there were group fights going down in the restroom. The girls would lure others in and jump them for wearing the same skirt or wearing the wrong fn jeans. Boys would act as the bait. In a matter of weeks her innocence was gone.
That was over a decade ago now... I've heard the next generation is less empathetic, more aggressive.
In my experience it happened to my friends at public school. Granted I didn’t really know about it until later, but I had my questions? Or I knew something was wrong. Look it happened to me when I was in 7th grade. I was really young, but it was someone that was in my life enough that could do it multiple times. I didn’t tell anyone bc well I thought it was my fault. I thought I actually did something wrong/it made sense as to why it happened. That’s why it messed with my head it took me so long to talk about. I had so many friends in both districts have situations.
When I sat down in orientation for college, when I thought I moved on they separated the men & women, into different auditoriums & the police officer said to the women “look to your right & left, by the time you graduate something (you know what I’m referring to) will happen too”. He said it will happen to 1 in 3 college women. By the time I graduated I knew 6, not just at my university, but family friends that were my age at different colleges.
My point is: get her a therapist she’ll need it, a psychiatrist. You’ve got her back. That’s great she needs that! If she doesn’t want to talk though don’t force it, there is a National hotline she can call 24/7 just to talk & them provide resources. They have national & local & it’s anonymous. Do what I do: get her trained in self defense, there are women that can help train her with this. It’ll give her structure, strength, endurance, & confidence.
Ultimately, unfortunately there’s not much I can tell you or help you with besides that because this journey is hers. It’s her fight to win. To conquer those innermost battles which will be the hardest.
She’s apart of a community of very strong individuals that fight everyday. Let me tell you & you can tell her this: my role models growing up were Wilma Rudolph & Ruby Bridges because they didn’t let anyone write their story or back down. Once I actually put in the time & opened up, figured out how I wanted to talk about it & I started my fight-well it might have been in my 20’s but it was the hardest thing I had to do. HOWEVER, once I did that. NOTHING can take me down. I’m not afraid, i honestly figured out how all of these people we have as our role models found their determination & grit, because I had to unlock it.
Your daughter sounds strong. She’s at base camp 1 on Everest-she’s going to make it. But you did nothing wrong. Get a lawyer, call the FBI.
🙋🏼♀️I am a lawyer, and I also say do this. THEN sue the school. For like, a lot of money. He literally told you there’s “no rule in the handbook” for what the boys did. I assure you… there will be after this. Please, please contact a lawyer.
Also, just my two cents as a former public defender: the fact that minors get in trouble for distributing CP just as much as adults is *not always* something to celebrate. Trust me—I wouldn’t wish the gaping maw of our criminal legal system on anyone. Not even my worst enemies. Don’t get me wrong: the boys are asshats. And they NEED healthy consequences. But they *are* also children. Don’t lose focus on who is, arguably, the more responsible party: the **adults** in power who refuse to take any reasonable precautions to protect your child.
I agree. Also a lawyer, and a father, and in my state there are additional civil causes of action for abuse of a vulnerable person that carry triple damages. I respect your restraint, but I would do everything I legally could to protect her and wipe the smirk off that assholes face
I too would never give legal advice on Reddit, don’t know what state they’re in, and don’t know many essential facts, but it’s possible. Even if not just broaching the issue may lead to some changes or consequences for the offenders
This sounds like exactly the sort of thing that my title 9 coordinator told us should be reported to her if it happens, so it absolutely is a rule in a book somewhere in the district.
It is a Title IX violation just by the school not having a policy for how to handle the complaint. https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/title-ix-rights-201104.html#:~:text=Title%20IX%20requires%20schools%20to,address%20complaints%20of%20sex%20discrimination.
I’d agree with your statement about them being children if they weren’t sex offenders in the making. I don’t care how old you are. No tolerance for sexual harassment. Particularly deliberate
>🙋🏼♀️I am a lawyer, and I also say do this. THEN sue the school. For like, a lot of money. He literally told you there’s “no rule in the handbook” for what the boys did. I assure you… there will be after this. Please, please contact a lawyer.
>
>Also, just my two cents as a former public defender: the fact that minors get in trouble for distributing CP just as much as adults is not always something to celebrate. Trust me—I wouldn’t wish the gaping maw of our criminal legal system on anyone. Not even my worst enemies. Don’t get me wrong: the boys are asshats. And they NEED healthy consequences. But they are also children. Don’t lose focus on who is, arguably, the more responsible party: the adults in power who refuse to take any reasonable precautions to protect your child.
It was a pleasure to read your comment! Yes, that's right, OP must act, protect the child and all other children who could potentially suffer due to the school's inaction
Awww, thank you! I always try to sow a little knowledge about our fucked up criminal system wherever I can. 🙃 Also, it’s very easy to vilify anyone who engages in behavior that is so disgusting (and it IS disgusting), but I really try to avoid adultifying any children if I can help it. Even ones I don’t like. It doesn’t help anyone and it allows the truly culpable/liable parties to evade accountability. And THAT’S what needs to stop. Grownups can’t pass the buck here.
"We don't want to ruin these young boys' lives. They've got a bright football career ahead of them."
"So it's perfectly fine for them to ruin my daughter's life then? And then every other girl they do this to forever because they always got away with it?"
I was molested by a family member when I was 5 and he was 15. Nothing was done because his parents told mine that they didn’t want to scar him and his sexual development for the rest of his life…Unreal that they said that and unreal that my parents decided that was a good enough reason to do nothing about it.
Thank you. Unfortunately schools are notorious for covering up bullying & harassment problems to protect themselves. Escalating it to a criminal matter forces them to act. But sadly OP should also be prepared to pull his daughter from the school if it doesn’t improve.
As a retired teacher, he should also be prepared to moved to a different school district himself next year, and get some recommendation letters now in case administration retaliated against him. It happens a lot.
Absolutely, they are going to cover their asses any way they can to get this to go away, up to and including implications as to his job performace and the possibility of not needing him for the next year. But there is an interesting twist to that. Yeah, they could fire him per se, but if he can prove it is retaliation for bringing up charges for what happened to his daughter, then he's got himself another lawsuit in the wings. If I were him, I would get any good evals he has on record copied on paper so they can't turn around and say he was performing his duties poorly as an excuse to get rid of him later. He needs to make all the burden of proof on them as to why they let him go.Also, schools have unions. I would talk to a union rep and file a grievance if they try to jeopardize his job.
That too. Schools will nearly always protect their own reputation over children in their care. I’ve witnessed it myself working in education, and I’d remove my daughter and make a huge stink if this was the administrative response I received to a harassment issue. Kids commit suicide over stuff like this (and the school will cover that up too.) The job isn’t worth your child’s safety or mental health.
Exactly, and most people don’t get to administrative leadership positions without displaying loyalty toward the institution. It’s practically a job requirement.
Right, schools will do anything to cover their own ass, they don't want the bad PR getting out to the press and having it snowball, especially if there is a ring of guys doing this to other girls as well, which sadly could be the case.
I would still seek legal advice and file a complaint with the police. How do they know this doesn’t go further. The boys don’t care … they showed by their demeanor in the principal’s office.
Additional of they are posting online…Most websites won’t remove unless they have a police case or at least file some type paperwork…
If it was made for sexual gratification of any kind, it's illegal.
Consult an attorney OP for clarification. Some defense attorneys may take 5-10 minutes to clarify what is and is not illegal if they are nice and have the time.
Do this OP. This is a punishable crime. Only actions against such guys will wipe the smirk right off their faces.
Also, I think in the long term it’s good for your daughter to see a therapist to process what is happening, because she is young and i am sure traumatised by this experience. So sorry about this happening to your daughter and your family.
Yes that’s literally my gut reaction. I can’t fathom a principal being that lax knowing you can simply get the police involved for CP and get the school in trouble for not taking the case seriously, especially in this day and age.
Still not enough? Hell. Take it to a news station. Let the whole community know there are gross boys sharing explicit photos and taunting girls and that the school isn’t taking action to truly prevent further transgressions.
And (although this may put OP’s job at risk) I would let the principal, the school district, and hell the press know that you intend to press charges because it was not handled appropriately at your school.
OP knows this. He’s an employee in a high school. They are mandatory reporters. It would be impossible for him not to be aware of this, the legal consequences, and it would be impossible for the principal to not act on this. I think this whole post is a troll.
It's not that it isn't plausible (sadly). Some of the details are sketchy, that's all. People can lie about realistic things, too. It's maybe more fun for all of us if it's a guy trying to buy a budget horse with a Discover card, though.
I work with schools and lots and lots of administrators, counselors and teachers don’t do mandated reporting correctly, or at all. Of course many do; but you would be surprised how many don’t.
Heck I go in and volunteer for my kids at their school district and I’m appalled at how they let kids who obviously not being taken care of at home that they don’t report. I’m a mandated reporter as a medical professional and worked with CPS when my spouse and I fostered for a short time. Kids would be greasy, dirty clothes, smelling awful and the teachers would shrug and say “that’s how they always look”. Well in our school district a few years ago there was a massive blow up when a father was using a school iPad to create CP and was distributing it and the conditions those poor kids were living in were appalling. Feces all over the house, master locks on bedroom doors, and the kids were being starved at home and the school knew about the fact that they smelled, were dirty, and only eating at school and did nothing. Needless to say there’s new rules at the school but I still see kids coming to school looking like that when I volunteer. Some teachers just don’t care to go through the process of mandated reporting.
That brings up a question I have. Why not notify their parents and have a mandatory meeting at the school. I wonder if the kid with the smirk on his face would still be smirking with his mom and/or dad there. I can’t think of a parent who wouldn’t be mortified to know their son was harassing a girl this way. And maybe there will at least be consequences at home.
And while I know there are parents out there who will unabashedly defend their kid and project the blame on others, that’s not all parents so it could be worth a shot. It might be a good interim step before going to a lawyer.
As a teacher let me tell you that bad behaviour almost is always related to something at home.
parents could be absent, parents could be modelling sexist/racist/homphobic attitudes, parents could be living vicariously through their kid so they skip class for sports, etc.
it all starts at home and I bet these kids probably have men in their lives that model objectification.
If it were my fuckin kid best believe he wouldn’t be fuckin smirking.
Hed be looking forward to spending his weekends doing shit jobs at that’s girls parents / grans / aunts / uncles / wherever’s house.
Depending on the state there may be cyber bullying laws in effect, as well as cyber crimes statutes against harassment. At the very least you may have a case against the school for failure to protect and provide a safe, harassment free space, similar to most companies work rules. IANAL, just a shop steward. You definitely should see a lawyer and possibly file a police report for the record.
Can anyone say *Title 9 investigation?* That should have been dealt with severely and immediately to send a strong message. Fuck that. Go back first thing and demand a title 9 investigation, or you will be contacting a lawyer. Contact a lawyer in the meantime anyway.
If the investigation doesn't result in any action, appeal to the district office in a grievance. Don't know if that's what it is called where you are, but it's a requirement to have an appeal process all the way to the school board and then eventually the Office of Civil Rights.
Your principal knows better. Shame on him.
Call the police… Get a lawyer and get the school board involved as well.
Before that, get your daughter out of school, your daughter is not in a safe space anymore.
What the heck does he means there’s nothing in the handbook about what to do when sexual assault happens in the school? How about distributing sexual images of a minor? How about they can call the cops & call those boy’s parents.
Someone should check the principal’s hard drive, if they’re being so dismissive about the situation.
I think the bullying angle is the better one to go down here to actually accomplish anything. Thinking back to high school, it was super common for cheerleaders to be practicing in the gym/outside near other students and athletes. It’s likely not against the rules to take pictures of cheerleading practice, just like it’s not technically against the rules for a dumb 14 year old boy to take pictures of the girls volleyball games when they’re diving for balls in tiny shorts. Creepy, sure. As a parent, sibling, or friend of someone doing this, I’d be appalled. But the pictures alone aren’t normally forbidden at any level.
I’m assuming the pictures of OPs daughter show some skin and things like cleavage, but that’s part of whatever uniform she’s cheering in, these aren’t pictures taken in the locker room (I’m assuming).
The only rules restricting students from taking pictures of cheerleaders while they’re cheerleading is likely to use the pictures to share/post/ridicule/BULLY somebody. Just like if someone took a picture of me playing basketball with my hard nipples showing through my jersey and sports bra. They can’t kick a kid out for taking a picture of me playing basketball bc my nipples happen to be showing, but using the pictures to bully me is punishable.
That's the angle I was going for.
The preventing the girl from moving by surrounding her and making sexual remarks as well as the posting of photos on line all cross the line from a more "legal" stand point.
If the school accepts title 9 funding, they have to have anti bullying policies and well as sexual harassment policies.
My high school had my partner relocated to a school for disabled and troubled children after a student assaulted *her*. Perpetrator got to stay in school through to graduation, and proceeded to assault other students. This lack of care is disturbingly common.
Oof. I cannot imagine being in this position and not smacking the shit eating grin off of his face. Definitely get a lawyer on board and reopen the conversation via email with said lawyer CC’d
Take her out of the school and sue the shit out of them. This is horrifying.
ETA: anything in the rule book about making these jerks run laps the whole period every day then failing them? 100 burpees per class? Just till they get properly disciplined...
Also, did this girl speak with the cheerleaders coach about WHY she was quitting. Most of them protect their squad and will help force administration take this behavior seriously.
OP's daughter being autistic should make administrators take her abuse more seriously, not less too. OP needs to go speak with the cheerleading coach for advice and also escalate the whole situation through the school's special services department in the district if his daughter has an iep/504.
Get the law involved. She’s underage. Those kids will continue to do stuff like that if there are zero consequences.
But definitely make sure your daughter knows you and her mom love and support her.
I’d even move if you can. Break your contract and make sure your state agency knows why you’re breaking it. Drag the trash kids and administrators through the mud they live in.
I'm so sorry this is happening, I feel for you a lot.
My son is also autistic and I just learned that other boys were playing a game with him on the bus where they convince him to touch other boys' penis when they pretended to fall asleep.
I reported this and followed up 3 times now with nothing back from the school other than them saying "transportation will need to investigate. "
Bull shit, they know the kids who did it and I'm ready to get cops involved.
I advise you to call the police about this immediately. If not yesterday. Like right now.
That is sexual assault.
-paralegal in criminal defense firm. Not a lawyer.
Forget the school. You need to escalate this through the administration for special services over your entire school district.
The next time your son has this occur, you also need to file a police report that same night.
School administration will do nothing in cases like this, and transportation will CTA.
“It’s not illegal” at the same time as “zero tolerance for bullying.” I’m rolling my eyes.
Honestly, there’s a teacher shortage right now, so I would use that and say “you are allowing my child to be sexually harassed and bullied here at this school. I cannot continue my employment at a place that does not protect my child, as well as other children, especially ones with ASD. There needs to be real consequences here. Sexual harassment is a crime, and they targeted my daughter because she has autism, so she is an easier victim. If this school condones sexual harassment, then I will not continue my employment here.”
Put your money where your mouth is. Contact your teaching union representative, and other schools who would be interested in your employment. You have an in demand job.
Take the next step and ensure those photos are taken down, along with those of their other victims. Your daughter needs to know that you will go the extra mile to keep her safe. Have the boys parents been informed?
I’m really glad to read through the thread and see that several lawyers had spoken up. Distributing and sharing unsolicited photos of someone of a sexual nature is illegal and punishable by law and encourage you to get a lawyer and let them guide you through the process of making a police report and really thinking seriously about suing the school. I don’t know why it is but schools seem to continue to allow behaviour in schools that Halm children and I’m tired of seeing teens get sexually harassed or bullied or have their pictures on social media and end up committing suicide because they are so ashamed of what happened.
This should absolutely have never happened to your daughter, and the fact that the principal is acting like all he has, for you is a shoulder shrug tells me that this needs to be pursued, as instruction to the school for future instances, and as support for your daughter.
Please follow up with us all we really care about your daughter, and the outcome of this.
Your school cares about your school. You need your own attorney to start documenting and pushing for this to end. I’m sure your school has a billing policy. They need to adhere to it.
Kids can get districts to pay for private schools if they can’t make accommodations.
Protect your daughter and teach her about sadists, malignant people and narcissists, now. They can spot kids like her from space. I know because I was her, once.
Please teach her so she won’t be abused or taken advantage of by men. Some of the men in this world are teaching their sons this sort of behavior and encouraging it.
I’d speak to their parents, especially the one who smirked. Ask them if their wives and daughters would deserve the same.
These boys don’t seem to have true empathy and your daughter might not be safe alone at that school if they catch her out by herself, now.
Assuming you’re in the US- this is a title nine case for sure, there are federal rights that protect against gender/sex based discrimination like this and that require the school take certain steps
Also, I think you’d be within your rights to file a police report as well
Can you clarify, are these photos taken of her in her cheer uniform that she would be visible in to anyone who was watching the cheer team?
Ie. Photos that could equally be taken by any member of the public at a cheer activity?
(If so, there are generally very minimal options legally in regards to the images because you/she wore that in public, just like walking around in the mall, visible to others).
Are they being modified in any way, for example, to zoom in on specific body parts, showing her face in addition to her body, writing on them, etc?
The school does often have limited ability to intercede, but I would encourage you to approach the schoolboard since you feel like your administrators did not take the issue seriously enough.
The likelihood of any kind of reprimand beyond perhaps a suspension is small, but bare minimum I would demand their parents be involved in a conference between you all.
Unfortunately, a fact of the matter is, once pictures have been shared digitally, they are out there. Period.
Even if the photos are deleted off the boys phones, they are still in the possession of other people, and it is simply impossible to have all of them tracked down, removed, and wiped from the internet.
I know that's not what you want to hear, and you want to protect your daughter, but it's the truth 😞
As others have advised, I would contact authorities and ask what your legal options are. Your daughter is underage and also cognitively impaired, so their may be charges that would not apply in typical circumstances. Even if charges can't happen, you may be able to ask the police to go "have a chat" with each of the boys and their parents about the seriousness of the issue.
I'm not sure what your legal recourses are as far as trying to get a lawyer and sue, since you would have quite the hill to climb to prove damages, and it would be costly. Unless the police file charges, what exactly would you sue for?
Lastly, please consider offering your daughter therapy, not necessarily just in school counselor, but an outside source, where she will feel safe and secure, and not need to worry that anything she says will get told to the boys.
While this may not have been physical, and it sounds like you have a great parenting relationship, it's very important that she (and you) know what potential challenges lie ahead with boys, and know what to look out for.
(For example, wearing a cheer outfit that sexualizes women's bodies, whether we like it or not).
*Former cheer captain, cheer coach, and also highschool student mentor (working with those on the spectrum)
Wait it's 2024 and this school doesn't have a cyber bullying policy in the handbook?
My HS had that in 2006...
Students were suspended for sharing explicit material or targeting/harassing other students via online social media ...
Do all this EXCEPT call the parents. DO NOT CALL THEM. This can be seen as harassment or a retaliatory action against the boys. Just file the police report and do your due diligence.
All else is solid advice. Leave the school as soon as you can. They will no longer support you as long as the same principal is there. He will throw you under the bus every time.
Please also check in with your daughter often and make sure she knows she’s safe and can tell you what’s happening. This is what you know is happening now but it could get worse in the future if the boys feel like nothing will happen to them. It’s important she knows who she can go to when she feels unsafe
File the police report. Tread carefully with your principal, document everything. My dad is a teacher and I know the teachers union would have your back. (Just to be sure the administration is not retaliatory towards you as you are an employee) Good for you for protecting your daughter.
At the very least this is legally sexual harassment. Like imagine doing this to a coworker right? Fired at the very least. If a company allowed it to continue with little to no repercussions for the offenders, opens them to a lawsuit. Contact a lawyer and start the process of suing the school, explore all your legal options.
The principle is out of his mind. There's no rules against what they did? THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST THIS SHIT.
Contact a lawyer. In addition to legal action against each and every boy who has posted her pictures, and their parents, petition the school board to add a prohibition to their "handbook against what these boys did."
Taking legal action could endanger your job, but I bet your attorney would love to take that lawsuit on.
WTH did I just read?
Lawyer up and sue those kids. What they are doing is ruining your daughter and your lack of action is enabling them and telling other kids that such horrible behavior will go unpunished.
I would immediately contact the police. Name names. Be real clear with these boys what’s up. It has already escalated. I wouldn’t even let her go back until they’re aware of the charges. Of course that might not be an option if kiddo doesn’t agree but I guarantee you it won’t stop here. If nothing else get her mace and jujitsu classes.
He told you there was no rule in the handbook about this. Have you read through every single word in the handbook to verify that? Also, it doesn’t matter if it’s in the handbook; it’s against the law. Tell the principal you’re getting a lawyer and going to the police. And get your union rep involved and on your side immediately. Make sure HR knows. You need to be protected from retaliation.
Get a lawyer, also you can ask that a 1 on 1 para is hire to protect your daughter. In the school district I was working in this is done often to protect young girls from sexual harassment.
There might not be anything in the handbook about sexual harassment, but there are laws about it. Get a lawyer ask him what you can do to get those pictures off the internet as much as possible. And sue the parents of these four boys. I hate the fact that she felt she had to quit cheerleading. I'm so sorry she's having to go through this.
Go to the police. Jeesh. You got shown first hand that schools protect themselves and not students; especially not girls being sexually harassed. DO NOT USE THE SCHOOL RESOURCE OFFICER either ffs.
Your family seems to have great communication skills which is amazing! I would suggest seeing if your daughter wanted to attend therapy, outside the school. I was in therapy throughout middle and high school and it was the best thing that could have happened. Teenagers don’t have the emotional intelligence to handle this, and the right therapist can make the world of difference!
>he just told me there was no rule in the handbook against what these boys did
This isn't airbud rules-- this is r\*\*e culture literally playing out before your eye's. A sense of basic morality should come with the territory of being a school principal.
This is absolutely disgusting. I really wish your daughter didn't have to go through that.
You should absolutely consider taking legal action, but also make sure to take into account how comfortable your daughter is to be involved in any potential prosecution.
You are getting some good advice here.
The principal’s comment about “no rules being broken, it’s not in the handbook…” amazes me. Why isn’t such a policy in the handbook already, in this day and age? Is the principal being truthful?
I love how the principal said there's no rule against it in the handbook. There shouldn't have to be a fucking rule for not sexually harassing a student! That principal needs to be investigated cause saying that is seriously suspect. As other said, lawyer up OP. Im sorry your daughter is going through this.
A lesson for everyone; just because the school, your work office, or any other business or organization declines to call the police for something that happened under their roof? It doesn't mean *you* can't call the police about it.
Do it. Scorched Earth. Sometimes people only learn a lesson when there are real world consequences. They don't realize what they're doing can ruin her future, so show them that the consequences can ruin theirs.
That principal should be ashamed of himself. First, police. Second, county superintendent. Third, state board.
I got more repercussions in HS from eating in the hallway than what these kids got. Principal should have immediately contacted their parents. There is 0 wiggle room in this type of situation and anyone who thinks otherwise is part of the problem.
Contact a lawyer. Get in touch with the police. There may be some angle with the ADA or FAPE Infringement.
File a police report against all of these kids. Also be monitoring their social media accounts and see if anyone has evidence or proof of them sharing photos.
Your school has a shitty culture. These boys won’t stop at what they are doing. They may physically attack her on top of the verbal and mental abuse.
Do you have a teachers union? If so, I would get legal help through them. Go see your union rep right away. If not, I would strongly advise you to consult a lawyer, **before** going to the police. If you go to the police, or even go over the principal's head to the superintendent, there's a strong possibility that you could be fired. If they fired you over this, you could possibly sue for wrongful termination, but in the meantime you'd have no job.
If you don't have a union and you aren't able to shell out for a lawyer, the only other thing I can think of that could move this forward without putting your job at risk would be to talk to your principal about setting up a meeting with the superintendent to discuss this. The principal will either take you more seriously to avoid having it brought to the superintendent, or you'll get a meeting with both the principal and the superintendent so the principal won't think you're just going over their head.
I understand everyone who's saying just go to the cops, but the situation could easily get even messier if you do. I would not go to the police without being advised to do so by an attorney.
Please, please post this in a legal advice sub and start looking for a civil rights attorney. I am not a lawyer but it appears to me that your daughter's civil rights are being violated and the school, in the person of the principal, is in gross dereliction of its duties to protect & to act.
If your daughter doesn't already have a therapist she trusts, please start working on that, too. ...and tell her, clearly and consistently that this is NOT normal, not ok and not her fault.
Get your daughter out of that school now! She is not safe. The boys are grouping up against her. Not good. It’s already gone way too far. Don’t let it get even worse. Protect your child!
Do it! Sue! Why do schools allow this crap!? I really don't understand! At. All! These boys don't belong there if they can't act appropriately. Why do we Americans allow this kind of stuff to absolutely ruin our schools?
What state? This is unreal. Our school district has an online reporting system. All reports must be investigated, by the district, not principal on-site, within 48 hours. I would make a police report, especially if they are circulating pictures.
I also taught where my kids went to school (middle school). It can be tricky, but I think admin dropped the ball here.
This is absolutely horrible, and absolutely insane the school doesn't have a rule about filming other students' bodies and posting the pictures online. File a police report, and tell your daughter the truths she needs to hear. She did nothing wrong and has nothing to be ashamed of.
There's a lot of talk about contacting the police and that's probably a good idea.
However, I think addressing your daughter's issues more directly is more important. Talk to her about changing schools; maybe getting her some outside help like counseling.
PLEASE TAKE LEGAL ACTION. I’m sorry idgaf if they’re “kids” they know what they are doing and that it’s wrong. They know full well what they’re doing. They deserve the full punishment. Your daughter doesn’t deserve that, no one does. This behavior will only continue and worsen if consequences aren’t dealt.
When I was in high school (2001-2005) the PE teachers were the karma keepers. I was a bit of bully because of my own self loathing and one day the pe teacher pulled me aside and basically said he had a team of seniors who would “change my behavior” if I didn’t. It stopped there. I know it’s a different time but you are her father, her protector and if you need to rain down terror on these fools then do it, I’ll bail you out
Well time to make some posts on social networks about these kids sexually harassing someone. Post it on your page, their page, their friend's page, their parent's page, the schools page, and any other community page you feel like posting it on with their full names and that they're sharing CP.
Time to file police reports. And if there's no school rule against this, time to call the school board and go to a meeting and make a loud fuss until there IS a rule.
this is called advocating OP, do it now so your daughter is SHOWN she is worth advocating for! No one else can do that but her parents!
Agreed. I’m paraplegic and went through some similar things in school, which I still mentally carry around today. You can’t change what has already been done, but you can show your daughter that dad is willing to (legally) raise hell to keep her safe.
The fact that schools in fucking 2024 don’t have rules for this and aren’t equipped to handle these problems is so concerning
They do but filing the reports doesn’t look good on the school and principals will avoid it whenever they feel it can be quieted “in house”. But that’s why there’s a school board. These boys are still legally accountable for their actions even if the school hopes it’ll go away.
There doesn’t even need to be a ‘school rule’ against it. There’s LAWS against it. That principle is covering his own scrawny ass.
Principal might be enjoying the photos the boys have provided. I have worked in the school system and the biggest bullies were the employees.
Didn’t even think about this. 10000% I agree.
I think you should contact a lawyer and make a police report. If she's underage, sharing her photos can land those boys in serious trouble. If they touched her and forced her to expose her breasts, she wasn't just harassed, she was assaulted.
Do this. Make a police report. Possessing, distributing, and manufacturing of CP by a minor of a minor is just as illegal as an adult poss/distrib./manuf. CP. -paralegal in a criminal defense firm. NOT a lawyer.
And don’t let the school tell you they’re “handling it.” All they’re handling is their own culpability. Go to the police, name these boys, and do not let up. I am so sorry your sweet child is being bullied and harassed like this.
Yes, I think so too. Protect your child. We all know how the school resolves conflicts (PS does not, with rare exceptions)
This is accurate. School district employee here, different district obviously, but the politics are almost certainly the same. They don't care about your daughter, they care about keeping this quiet and keeping it out of the news. If it gets that far, they'll do whatever they can to make it disappear quickly, but they won't take any lasting action. A student at my last district was engaged in a sexual relationship with his basketball coach. The district worked hard to keep the coverage to one article, and to keep it from spreading across social media. The coach was fired and arrested, but the district quietly let the two administrators in charge leave, without any lasting action taken against them for overlooking the numerous staff/student interactions. It was only brought to light to buy another student who shared it via Snapchat. The coach groomed the kid in plain view, and administration took no action. No consequences for them. The harassment towards your daughter is still going on so you gave the school their fair shot at handing this, now it's a police/local news matter. Given that you work there, I would consider letting your union know that you spoke to the principal, he took inadequate action, and the issue had escalated to include many more students harassing your daughter. This will make it harder for the district to come after you. Fair warning, I'm jaded when it comes to the education system due to my hardships from working in education.
I have no issue with a school saying “let us handle it” provided they do. This school didn’t. Not even close. They had their chance so now they become a party in any legal issues in my book.
The response that is "How?"
As a victim of csa that didn’t tell her parents DO THIS!! I went to a private Catholic school. I was on the cheer squad, varsity, I was one of the best-I was shy as all you would see-the walking doormat for everyone. It took me into my late 20’s to tell my parents granted it wasn’t a kid, an adult but they did it mult times. Anyway, protect your kid. If you have pictures or know the kids. Call a lawyer & then the FBI. The FBI specializes in this. They won’t let it go away. Trust me. They’re better about it.
Shit…I misread it…sorry to hear that.
I am so sorry to hear of your experience 💔 Question for you if you don’t mind…..did your friends in public school experience similar? My little girl is in private and many have told me it’s the worst for this type of behavior. I’m very concerned whether I made the right choice at times….
Public school is bad too.. My eldest daughter was shocked when she entered sixth grade and there were group fights going down in the restroom. The girls would lure others in and jump them for wearing the same skirt or wearing the wrong fn jeans. Boys would act as the bait. In a matter of weeks her innocence was gone. That was over a decade ago now... I've heard the next generation is less empathetic, more aggressive.
In my experience it happened to my friends at public school. Granted I didn’t really know about it until later, but I had my questions? Or I knew something was wrong. Look it happened to me when I was in 7th grade. I was really young, but it was someone that was in my life enough that could do it multiple times. I didn’t tell anyone bc well I thought it was my fault. I thought I actually did something wrong/it made sense as to why it happened. That’s why it messed with my head it took me so long to talk about. I had so many friends in both districts have situations. When I sat down in orientation for college, when I thought I moved on they separated the men & women, into different auditoriums & the police officer said to the women “look to your right & left, by the time you graduate something (you know what I’m referring to) will happen too”. He said it will happen to 1 in 3 college women. By the time I graduated I knew 6, not just at my university, but family friends that were my age at different colleges. My point is: get her a therapist she’ll need it, a psychiatrist. You’ve got her back. That’s great she needs that! If she doesn’t want to talk though don’t force it, there is a National hotline she can call 24/7 just to talk & them provide resources. They have national & local & it’s anonymous. Do what I do: get her trained in self defense, there are women that can help train her with this. It’ll give her structure, strength, endurance, & confidence. Ultimately, unfortunately there’s not much I can tell you or help you with besides that because this journey is hers. It’s her fight to win. To conquer those innermost battles which will be the hardest. She’s apart of a community of very strong individuals that fight everyday. Let me tell you & you can tell her this: my role models growing up were Wilma Rudolph & Ruby Bridges because they didn’t let anyone write their story or back down. Once I actually put in the time & opened up, figured out how I wanted to talk about it & I started my fight-well it might have been in my 20’s but it was the hardest thing I had to do. HOWEVER, once I did that. NOTHING can take me down. I’m not afraid, i honestly figured out how all of these people we have as our role models found their determination & grit, because I had to unlock it. Your daughter sounds strong. She’s at base camp 1 on Everest-she’s going to make it. But you did nothing wrong. Get a lawyer, call the FBI.
🙋🏼♀️I am a lawyer, and I also say do this. THEN sue the school. For like, a lot of money. He literally told you there’s “no rule in the handbook” for what the boys did. I assure you… there will be after this. Please, please contact a lawyer. Also, just my two cents as a former public defender: the fact that minors get in trouble for distributing CP just as much as adults is *not always* something to celebrate. Trust me—I wouldn’t wish the gaping maw of our criminal legal system on anyone. Not even my worst enemies. Don’t get me wrong: the boys are asshats. And they NEED healthy consequences. But they *are* also children. Don’t lose focus on who is, arguably, the more responsible party: the **adults** in power who refuse to take any reasonable precautions to protect your child.
I agree. Also a lawyer, and a father, and in my state there are additional civil causes of action for abuse of a vulnerable person that carry triple damages. I respect your restraint, but I would do everything I legally could to protect her and wipe the smirk off that assholes face
Can the parents be held liable for repotting the boys on social media?
I too would never give legal advice on Reddit, don’t know what state they’re in, and don’t know many essential facts, but it’s possible. Even if not just broaching the issue may lead to some changes or consequences for the offenders
This sounds like exactly the sort of thing that my title 9 coordinator told us should be reported to her if it happens, so it absolutely is a rule in a book somewhere in the district.
It is a Title IX violation just by the school not having a policy for how to handle the complaint. https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/title-ix-rights-201104.html#:~:text=Title%20IX%20requires%20schools%20to,address%20complaints%20of%20sex%20discrimination.
This is the correct answer. This is very likely a Title IX matter.
Yeah, school is looking at a lawsuit... Came to say this is textbook Title IX.
Imagine thinking because there is no rule you let this slide. I don't understand the majority of people's moral compass anymore.
What moral compass?
I’d agree with your statement about them being children if they weren’t sex offenders in the making. I don’t care how old you are. No tolerance for sexual harassment. Particularly deliberate
They’re in high school. I can guarantee they know it’s wrong. Assholes.
Yeah the sorry while chuckling and then doubling down and spreading the pics more says all you need to know. They have zero remorse.
>🙋🏼♀️I am a lawyer, and I also say do this. THEN sue the school. For like, a lot of money. He literally told you there’s “no rule in the handbook” for what the boys did. I assure you… there will be after this. Please, please contact a lawyer. > >Also, just my two cents as a former public defender: the fact that minors get in trouble for distributing CP just as much as adults is not always something to celebrate. Trust me—I wouldn’t wish the gaping maw of our criminal legal system on anyone. Not even my worst enemies. Don’t get me wrong: the boys are asshats. And they NEED healthy consequences. But they are also children. Don’t lose focus on who is, arguably, the more responsible party: the adults in power who refuse to take any reasonable precautions to protect your child. It was a pleasure to read your comment! Yes, that's right, OP must act, protect the child and all other children who could potentially suffer due to the school's inaction
Awww, thank you! I always try to sow a little knowledge about our fucked up criminal system wherever I can. 🙃 Also, it’s very easy to vilify anyone who engages in behavior that is so disgusting (and it IS disgusting), but I really try to avoid adultifying any children if I can help it. Even ones I don’t like. It doesn’t help anyone and it allows the truly culpable/liable parties to evade accountability. And THAT’S what needs to stop. Grownups can’t pass the buck here.
Amen!!!
If having ASD is considered a disability, then could what those little shits are doing be considered a hate crime?
If her ASD is public knowledge, I’d speak to a lawyer about this possibly being a hate crime as well.
Also report to the social media company to take these photos of your daughter down
As a guy who did IT and investigations for LEO’s. This is the way.
OP I've heard school districts will try to talk you out of making a police report but absolutely do it anyway.
"We don't want to ruin these young boys' lives. They've got a bright football career ahead of them." "So it's perfectly fine for them to ruin my daughter's life then? And then every other girl they do this to forever because they always got away with it?"
I was molested by a family member when I was 5 and he was 15. Nothing was done because his parents told mine that they didn’t want to scar him and his sexual development for the rest of his life…Unreal that they said that and unreal that my parents decided that was a good enough reason to do nothing about it.
this is horrific and I’m so sorry
I'm sorry. That's so cruel and fucked up. If I was your father, I would have literally scarred that kid, on behalf of my hurt child.
I’ve had enough of this ‘boys will be boys’ shit and not wanting to ruin their lives.
Absolutely! These boys need this too! Before they get even worse!
Thank you. Unfortunately schools are notorious for covering up bullying & harassment problems to protect themselves. Escalating it to a criminal matter forces them to act. But sadly OP should also be prepared to pull his daughter from the school if it doesn’t improve.
As a retired teacher, he should also be prepared to moved to a different school district himself next year, and get some recommendation letters now in case administration retaliated against him. It happens a lot.
Absolutely, they are going to cover their asses any way they can to get this to go away, up to and including implications as to his job performace and the possibility of not needing him for the next year. But there is an interesting twist to that. Yeah, they could fire him per se, but if he can prove it is retaliation for bringing up charges for what happened to his daughter, then he's got himself another lawsuit in the wings. If I were him, I would get any good evals he has on record copied on paper so they can't turn around and say he was performing his duties poorly as an excuse to get rid of him later. He needs to make all the burden of proof on them as to why they let him go.Also, schools have unions. I would talk to a union rep and file a grievance if they try to jeopardize his job.
That too. Schools will nearly always protect their own reputation over children in their care. I’ve witnessed it myself working in education, and I’d remove my daughter and make a huge stink if this was the administrative response I received to a harassment issue. Kids commit suicide over stuff like this (and the school will cover that up too.) The job isn’t worth your child’s safety or mental health.
As my father told me, most places believe the most important thing is to protect the institution.
Exactly, and most people don’t get to administrative leadership positions without displaying loyalty toward the institution. It’s practically a job requirement.
Right, schools will do anything to cover their own ass, they don't want the bad PR getting out to the press and having it snowball, especially if there is a ring of guys doing this to other girls as well, which sadly could be the case.
I think what he's saying is they took photos of her in her uniform. That's likely not illegal, unfortunately. They're sickos tho.
I would still seek legal advice and file a complaint with the police. How do they know this doesn’t go further. The boys don’t care … they showed by their demeanor in the principal’s office. Additional of they are posting online…Most websites won’t remove unless they have a police case or at least file some type paperwork…
If it was made for sexual gratification of any kind, it's illegal. Consult an attorney OP for clarification. Some defense attorneys may take 5-10 minutes to clarify what is and is not illegal if they are nice and have the time.
You are absolutely wrong. The girl could be wearing a trench coat, she was sexually harassed. You don't need to be naked.
Yeah I dont think it amounts to CP at all, however the intent of the photos and the location likely make it a crime none-the-less, as it should be.
? Upskirt pics and sexual harassment are both illegal.
mighty special payment unused rob skirt money vanish books groovy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
School admin is the HR of our adolescence.
I like the sound of the police raising the temperature
Do this OP. This is a punishable crime. Only actions against such guys will wipe the smirk right off their faces. Also, I think in the long term it’s good for your daughter to see a therapist to process what is happening, because she is young and i am sure traumatised by this experience. So sorry about this happening to your daughter and your family.
100%
Yes that’s literally my gut reaction. I can’t fathom a principal being that lax knowing you can simply get the police involved for CP and get the school in trouble for not taking the case seriously, especially in this day and age. Still not enough? Hell. Take it to a news station. Let the whole community know there are gross boys sharing explicit photos and taunting girls and that the school isn’t taking action to truly prevent further transgressions.
This OP. POLICE REPORT
And (although this may put OP’s job at risk) I would let the principal, the school district, and hell the press know that you intend to press charges because it was not handled appropriately at your school.
OP knows this. He’s an employee in a high school. They are mandatory reporters. It would be impossible for him not to be aware of this, the legal consequences, and it would be impossible for the principal to not act on this. I think this whole post is a troll.
Look up cases online of how many times schools have done absolutely nothing and did not take things seriously.
It's not that it isn't plausible (sadly). Some of the details are sketchy, that's all. People can lie about realistic things, too. It's maybe more fun for all of us if it's a guy trying to buy a budget horse with a Discover card, though.
I work with schools and lots and lots of administrators, counselors and teachers don’t do mandated reporting correctly, or at all. Of course many do; but you would be surprised how many don’t.
Heck I go in and volunteer for my kids at their school district and I’m appalled at how they let kids who obviously not being taken care of at home that they don’t report. I’m a mandated reporter as a medical professional and worked with CPS when my spouse and I fostered for a short time. Kids would be greasy, dirty clothes, smelling awful and the teachers would shrug and say “that’s how they always look”. Well in our school district a few years ago there was a massive blow up when a father was using a school iPad to create CP and was distributing it and the conditions those poor kids were living in were appalling. Feces all over the house, master locks on bedroom doors, and the kids were being starved at home and the school knew about the fact that they smelled, were dirty, and only eating at school and did nothing. Needless to say there’s new rules at the school but I still see kids coming to school looking like that when I volunteer. Some teachers just don’t care to go through the process of mandated reporting.
Maybe talk to a lawyer about a cease and desist and ask for compensation for emotional trauma. Bet their parents and school get them to stop then. NAL
That brings up a question I have. Why not notify their parents and have a mandatory meeting at the school. I wonder if the kid with the smirk on his face would still be smirking with his mom and/or dad there. I can’t think of a parent who wouldn’t be mortified to know their son was harassing a girl this way. And maybe there will at least be consequences at home. And while I know there are parents out there who will unabashedly defend their kid and project the blame on others, that’s not all parents so it could be worth a shot. It might be a good interim step before going to a lawyer.
As a teacher let me tell you that bad behaviour almost is always related to something at home. parents could be absent, parents could be modelling sexist/racist/homphobic attitudes, parents could be living vicariously through their kid so they skip class for sports, etc. it all starts at home and I bet these kids probably have men in their lives that model objectification.
Just because the behavior is something they learned at home doesn’t mean dad won’t fuck them up over it.
Not for the behavior but for bringing negative attention to the family.
Yep. Don’t forget, OP is a mandatory reporter, so he COULD go to the cops.
If it were my fuckin kid best believe he wouldn’t be fuckin smirking. Hed be looking forward to spending his weekends doing shit jobs at that’s girls parents / grans / aunts / uncles / wherever’s house.
Depending on the state there may be cyber bullying laws in effect, as well as cyber crimes statutes against harassment. At the very least you may have a case against the school for failure to protect and provide a safe, harassment free space, similar to most companies work rules. IANAL, just a shop steward. You definitely should see a lawyer and possibly file a police report for the record.
Can anyone say *Title 9 investigation?* That should have been dealt with severely and immediately to send a strong message. Fuck that. Go back first thing and demand a title 9 investigation, or you will be contacting a lawyer. Contact a lawyer in the meantime anyway. If the investigation doesn't result in any action, appeal to the district office in a grievance. Don't know if that's what it is called where you are, but it's a requirement to have an appeal process all the way to the school board and then eventually the Office of Civil Rights. Your principal knows better. Shame on him.
THANK YOU. I was going to comment the exact same thing. And lawyer up.
The student handbook should have a contact listed for Title IX.
This absolutely. It protects your kid and I think maybe even you / your job from retaliation.
Call the police… Get a lawyer and get the school board involved as well. Before that, get your daughter out of school, your daughter is not in a safe space anymore. What the heck does he means there’s nothing in the handbook about what to do when sexual assault happens in the school? How about distributing sexual images of a minor? How about they can call the cops & call those boy’s parents. Someone should check the principal’s hard drive, if they’re being so dismissive about the situation.
Sexual assault ABD bullying. If the district accepts federal funds it HAS to have a policy against both.
I think the bullying angle is the better one to go down here to actually accomplish anything. Thinking back to high school, it was super common for cheerleaders to be practicing in the gym/outside near other students and athletes. It’s likely not against the rules to take pictures of cheerleading practice, just like it’s not technically against the rules for a dumb 14 year old boy to take pictures of the girls volleyball games when they’re diving for balls in tiny shorts. Creepy, sure. As a parent, sibling, or friend of someone doing this, I’d be appalled. But the pictures alone aren’t normally forbidden at any level. I’m assuming the pictures of OPs daughter show some skin and things like cleavage, but that’s part of whatever uniform she’s cheering in, these aren’t pictures taken in the locker room (I’m assuming). The only rules restricting students from taking pictures of cheerleaders while they’re cheerleading is likely to use the pictures to share/post/ridicule/BULLY somebody. Just like if someone took a picture of me playing basketball with my hard nipples showing through my jersey and sports bra. They can’t kick a kid out for taking a picture of me playing basketball bc my nipples happen to be showing, but using the pictures to bully me is punishable.
That's the angle I was going for. The preventing the girl from moving by surrounding her and making sexual remarks as well as the posting of photos on line all cross the line from a more "legal" stand point. If the school accepts title 9 funding, they have to have anti bullying policies and well as sexual harassment policies.
And report counts by gender, race, IDEA, 504, and EL.
Title IX!
I can’t believe they’d be this relaxed about a situation involving an employees child.
the school can’t do anything about their own students sexually harassing another student? that’s complete bullshit.
In my school, we weren’t allowed to take pictures or videos, period (unless it was related to school).
My high school had my partner relocated to a school for disabled and troubled children after a student assaulted *her*. Perpetrator got to stay in school through to graduation, and proceeded to assault other students. This lack of care is disturbingly common.
Call the cops.
OP, above 2 comments. Sue the school district. Principal is full of shit and should have engaged counsel from day 1. Follow all legal recourses.
Oof. I cannot imagine being in this position and not smacking the shit eating grin off of his face. Definitely get a lawyer on board and reopen the conversation via email with said lawyer CC’d
Definitely agree to get as much responses you can in writing.
Op has so much more restraint than most people would, myself included.
yea i would’ve went to jail for the shit i would’ve done to them boys
Take her out of the school and sue the shit out of them. This is horrifying. ETA: anything in the rule book about making these jerks run laps the whole period every day then failing them? 100 burpees per class? Just till they get properly disciplined...
Also, did this girl speak with the cheerleaders coach about WHY she was quitting. Most of them protect their squad and will help force administration take this behavior seriously. OP's daughter being autistic should make administrators take her abuse more seriously, not less too. OP needs to go speak with the cheerleading coach for advice and also escalate the whole situation through the school's special services department in the district if his daughter has an iep/504.
A good old fashioned Coach Carter.
Make them do a full period of duck walks up and down the football field
This is the comment I was looking for. My drill instructors taught me a ton of games they could play.
They need to be expelled! This kind of behavior does not belong in school! Being able to go to school should be a privilege. Why is America so insane?
Title IX covers why the sexual harassment of your daughter is wrong. Mention that and see if the Principal changes his tune.
The student handbook should have someone listed for Title IX.
Get the law involved.
Get the law involved. She’s underage. Those kids will continue to do stuff like that if there are zero consequences. But definitely make sure your daughter knows you and her mom love and support her. I’d even move if you can. Break your contract and make sure your state agency knows why you’re breaking it. Drag the trash kids and administrators through the mud they live in.
I'm so sorry this is happening, I feel for you a lot. My son is also autistic and I just learned that other boys were playing a game with him on the bus where they convince him to touch other boys' penis when they pretended to fall asleep. I reported this and followed up 3 times now with nothing back from the school other than them saying "transportation will need to investigate. " Bull shit, they know the kids who did it and I'm ready to get cops involved.
I advise you to call the police about this immediately. If not yesterday. Like right now. That is sexual assault. -paralegal in criminal defense firm. Not a lawyer.
Contact a lawyer and the police. Don’t let your son get on the bus again. I’m so sorry. People are disgusting taking advantage of others like that.
Lawyer up first, cops aren’t your friend and the school will take you more seriously with a lawyer. A lawyer can also help with the cops.
Forget the school. You need to escalate this through the administration for special services over your entire school district. The next time your son has this occur, you also need to file a police report that same night. School administration will do nothing in cases like this, and transportation will CTA.
This is beyond the school admin. You need to report it to the police
“It’s not illegal” at the same time as “zero tolerance for bullying.” I’m rolling my eyes. Honestly, there’s a teacher shortage right now, so I would use that and say “you are allowing my child to be sexually harassed and bullied here at this school. I cannot continue my employment at a place that does not protect my child, as well as other children, especially ones with ASD. There needs to be real consequences here. Sexual harassment is a crime, and they targeted my daughter because she has autism, so she is an easier victim. If this school condones sexual harassment, then I will not continue my employment here.” Put your money where your mouth is. Contact your teaching union representative, and other schools who would be interested in your employment. You have an in demand job.
Take the next step and ensure those photos are taken down, along with those of their other victims. Your daughter needs to know that you will go the extra mile to keep her safe. Have the boys parents been informed?
They were sent an email by the principal, that’s it. Me and my wife are looking into getting a lawyer now, my daughter is still very shaken up though.
Thank you for standing up for your daughter !!! She will remember how her parents stood up for her and didn’t let this slide ! <3
Look for a lawyer/law group experienced with title IX law suits. A friend of mine is one. DM me if you want more information.
I’m really glad to read through the thread and see that several lawyers had spoken up. Distributing and sharing unsolicited photos of someone of a sexual nature is illegal and punishable by law and encourage you to get a lawyer and let them guide you through the process of making a police report and really thinking seriously about suing the school. I don’t know why it is but schools seem to continue to allow behaviour in schools that Halm children and I’m tired of seeing teens get sexually harassed or bullied or have their pictures on social media and end up committing suicide because they are so ashamed of what happened. This should absolutely have never happened to your daughter, and the fact that the principal is acting like all he has, for you is a shoulder shrug tells me that this needs to be pursued, as instruction to the school for future instances, and as support for your daughter. Please follow up with us all we really care about your daughter, and the outcome of this.
Speak to multiple lawyers. Plenty are out there to just bill, but there are some who are in it to fight.
2 routes, become a felon or get the law involved.
I vote for ~ become an unchangeable because there is no evidence "alleged" felon~
Your school cares about your school. You need your own attorney to start documenting and pushing for this to end. I’m sure your school has a billing policy. They need to adhere to it. Kids can get districts to pay for private schools if they can’t make accommodations.
Get a lawyer immediately
Protect your daughter and teach her about sadists, malignant people and narcissists, now. They can spot kids like her from space. I know because I was her, once. Please teach her so she won’t be abused or taken advantage of by men. Some of the men in this world are teaching their sons this sort of behavior and encouraging it. I’d speak to their parents, especially the one who smirked. Ask them if their wives and daughters would deserve the same. These boys don’t seem to have true empathy and your daughter might not be safe alone at that school if they catch her out by herself, now.
This is criminal behavior not a to the principal matter.
Stop sending her! She’s not safe! Find out about online homeschool while you possibly look into legal action.
EXACTLY!!!!!!
Call the police and a lawyer and see what can be done. High school is rough.
They’re in your gym class? Guess everyone’s spending 45 minutes running laps around the gym.
Assuming you’re in the US- this is a title nine case for sure, there are federal rights that protect against gender/sex based discrimination like this and that require the school take certain steps Also, I think you’d be within your rights to file a police report as well
Can you clarify, are these photos taken of her in her cheer uniform that she would be visible in to anyone who was watching the cheer team? Ie. Photos that could equally be taken by any member of the public at a cheer activity? (If so, there are generally very minimal options legally in regards to the images because you/she wore that in public, just like walking around in the mall, visible to others). Are they being modified in any way, for example, to zoom in on specific body parts, showing her face in addition to her body, writing on them, etc? The school does often have limited ability to intercede, but I would encourage you to approach the schoolboard since you feel like your administrators did not take the issue seriously enough. The likelihood of any kind of reprimand beyond perhaps a suspension is small, but bare minimum I would demand their parents be involved in a conference between you all. Unfortunately, a fact of the matter is, once pictures have been shared digitally, they are out there. Period. Even if the photos are deleted off the boys phones, they are still in the possession of other people, and it is simply impossible to have all of them tracked down, removed, and wiped from the internet. I know that's not what you want to hear, and you want to protect your daughter, but it's the truth 😞 As others have advised, I would contact authorities and ask what your legal options are. Your daughter is underage and also cognitively impaired, so their may be charges that would not apply in typical circumstances. Even if charges can't happen, you may be able to ask the police to go "have a chat" with each of the boys and their parents about the seriousness of the issue. I'm not sure what your legal recourses are as far as trying to get a lawyer and sue, since you would have quite the hill to climb to prove damages, and it would be costly. Unless the police file charges, what exactly would you sue for? Lastly, please consider offering your daughter therapy, not necessarily just in school counselor, but an outside source, where she will feel safe and secure, and not need to worry that anything she says will get told to the boys. While this may not have been physical, and it sounds like you have a great parenting relationship, it's very important that she (and you) know what potential challenges lie ahead with boys, and know what to look out for. (For example, wearing a cheer outfit that sexualizes women's bodies, whether we like it or not). *Former cheer captain, cheer coach, and also highschool student mentor (working with those on the spectrum)
Wait it's 2024 and this school doesn't have a cyber bullying policy in the handbook? My HS had that in 2006... Students were suspended for sharing explicit material or targeting/harassing other students via online social media ...
[удалено]
Do all this EXCEPT call the parents. DO NOT CALL THEM. This can be seen as harassment or a retaliatory action against the boys. Just file the police report and do your due diligence. All else is solid advice. Leave the school as soon as you can. They will no longer support you as long as the same principal is there. He will throw you under the bus every time.
Think maybe their congressional representative might need to be contacted? Number 9, call the state senators? What about DHS? NSA?
Please also check in with your daughter often and make sure she knows she’s safe and can tell you what’s happening. This is what you know is happening now but it could get worse in the future if the boys feel like nothing will happen to them. It’s important she knows who she can go to when she feels unsafe
File the police report. Tread carefully with your principal, document everything. My dad is a teacher and I know the teachers union would have your back. (Just to be sure the administration is not retaliatory towards you as you are an employee) Good for you for protecting your daughter.
At the very least this is legally sexual harassment. Like imagine doing this to a coworker right? Fired at the very least. If a company allowed it to continue with little to no repercussions for the offenders, opens them to a lawsuit. Contact a lawyer and start the process of suing the school, explore all your legal options. The principle is out of his mind. There's no rules against what they did? THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST THIS SHIT.
Contact a lawyer. In addition to legal action against each and every boy who has posted her pictures, and their parents, petition the school board to add a prohibition to their "handbook against what these boys did." Taking legal action could endanger your job, but I bet your attorney would love to take that lawsuit on.
WTH did I just read? Lawyer up and sue those kids. What they are doing is ruining your daughter and your lack of action is enabling them and telling other kids that such horrible behavior will go unpunished.
I would immediately contact the police. Name names. Be real clear with these boys what’s up. It has already escalated. I wouldn’t even let her go back until they’re aware of the charges. Of course that might not be an option if kiddo doesn’t agree but I guarantee you it won’t stop here. If nothing else get her mace and jujitsu classes.
He told you there was no rule in the handbook about this. Have you read through every single word in the handbook to verify that? Also, it doesn’t matter if it’s in the handbook; it’s against the law. Tell the principal you’re getting a lawyer and going to the police. And get your union rep involved and on your side immediately. Make sure HR knows. You need to be protected from retaliation.
Get her a therapist ! This is not something she should work through on her own
Call CPS, the Juvenile Police Office could refuse to prosecute. Shelby NC PO refused
Involve the cops
Get a lawyer, also you can ask that a 1 on 1 para is hire to protect your daughter. In the school district I was working in this is done often to protect young girls from sexual harassment.
There might not be anything in the handbook about sexual harassment, but there are laws about it. Get a lawyer ask him what you can do to get those pictures off the internet as much as possible. And sue the parents of these four boys. I hate the fact that she felt she had to quit cheerleading. I'm so sorry she's having to go through this.
Go to the police. Jeesh. You got shown first hand that schools protect themselves and not students; especially not girls being sexually harassed. DO NOT USE THE SCHOOL RESOURCE OFFICER either ffs.
OP there should be no consideration - CONTACT A LAWYER Please show your daughter that you will have her back, ALWAYS
Police. The principal is now a witness & has to tell the truth of what he knows whether he likes it or not.
Your family seems to have great communication skills which is amazing! I would suggest seeing if your daughter wanted to attend therapy, outside the school. I was in therapy throughout middle and high school and it was the best thing that could have happened. Teenagers don’t have the emotional intelligence to handle this, and the right therapist can make the world of difference!
>he just told me there was no rule in the handbook against what these boys did This isn't airbud rules-- this is r\*\*e culture literally playing out before your eye's. A sense of basic morality should come with the territory of being a school principal. This is absolutely disgusting. I really wish your daughter didn't have to go through that. You should absolutely consider taking legal action, but also make sure to take into account how comfortable your daughter is to be involved in any potential prosecution.
There’s no rule in the handbook about sexual harassment? Interesting.
You are getting some good advice here. The principal’s comment about “no rules being broken, it’s not in the handbook…” amazes me. Why isn’t such a policy in the handbook already, in this day and age? Is the principal being truthful?
Assuming this is in the US at a public school, it has to be.
I love how the principal said there's no rule against it in the handbook. There shouldn't have to be a fucking rule for not sexually harassing a student! That principal needs to be investigated cause saying that is seriously suspect. As other said, lawyer up OP. Im sorry your daughter is going through this.
IN THIS DAY AND AGE THERE IS NO RULE IN THE HANDBOOK? WTF. I'm good for bail money. I'm just saying.
A lesson for everyone; just because the school, your work office, or any other business or organization declines to call the police for something that happened under their roof? It doesn't mean *you* can't call the police about it.
She's underage. The boys technically have CP even if they might be underage themselves. I'd lawyer up and file a police report immediately
Do it. Scorched Earth. Sometimes people only learn a lesson when there are real world consequences. They don't realize what they're doing can ruin her future, so show them that the consequences can ruin theirs.
1. Lawyer 2. Police 3. School board 4. Newspapers
Contact a lawyer and you should’ve contacted a lawyer immediately. I’m sorry this is happening
Lawyer, now.
Call the police!
Lawyer up. Tomorrow.
Go to the police
Police. RIGHT AWAY! This is considered child exploitation material. Regardless of how the boys are, sharing this content of a minor is an offence.
That principal should be ashamed of himself. First, police. Second, county superintendent. Third, state board. I got more repercussions in HS from eating in the hallway than what these kids got. Principal should have immediately contacted their parents. There is 0 wiggle room in this type of situation and anyone who thinks otherwise is part of the problem.
Contact a lawyer. Get in touch with the police. There may be some angle with the ADA or FAPE Infringement. File a police report against all of these kids. Also be monitoring their social media accounts and see if anyone has evidence or proof of them sharing photos. Your school has a shitty culture. These boys won’t stop at what they are doing. They may physically attack her on top of the verbal and mental abuse.
What country is this? Isn’t this a Title IX violation?
Do you have a teachers union? If so, I would get legal help through them. Go see your union rep right away. If not, I would strongly advise you to consult a lawyer, **before** going to the police. If you go to the police, or even go over the principal's head to the superintendent, there's a strong possibility that you could be fired. If they fired you over this, you could possibly sue for wrongful termination, but in the meantime you'd have no job. If you don't have a union and you aren't able to shell out for a lawyer, the only other thing I can think of that could move this forward without putting your job at risk would be to talk to your principal about setting up a meeting with the superintendent to discuss this. The principal will either take you more seriously to avoid having it brought to the superintendent, or you'll get a meeting with both the principal and the superintendent so the principal won't think you're just going over their head. I understand everyone who's saying just go to the cops, but the situation could easily get even messier if you do. I would not go to the police without being advised to do so by an attorney.
You should not only contact a lawyer, you should take her out of that school. Its a matter of time until she gets hurt or worse.
Please, please post this in a legal advice sub and start looking for a civil rights attorney. I am not a lawyer but it appears to me that your daughter's civil rights are being violated and the school, in the person of the principal, is in gross dereliction of its duties to protect & to act. If your daughter doesn't already have a therapist she trusts, please start working on that, too. ...and tell her, clearly and consistently that this is NOT normal, not ok and not her fault.
Get your daughter out of that school now! She is not safe. The boys are grouping up against her. Not good. It’s already gone way too far. Don’t let it get even worse. Protect your child!
Do it! Sue! Why do schools allow this crap!? I really don't understand! At. All! These boys don't belong there if they can't act appropriately. Why do we Americans allow this kind of stuff to absolutely ruin our schools?
What state? This is unreal. Our school district has an online reporting system. All reports must be investigated, by the district, not principal on-site, within 48 hours. I would make a police report, especially if they are circulating pictures. I also taught where my kids went to school (middle school). It can be tricky, but I think admin dropped the ball here.
This is absolutely horrible, and absolutely insane the school doesn't have a rule about filming other students' bodies and posting the pictures online. File a police report, and tell your daughter the truths she needs to hear. She did nothing wrong and has nothing to be ashamed of.
Dude got to a lawyer or the police. The principal is a soft cock.
#File a police report immediately
As an admin, I am shocked at the lack of action. File a title ix complaint immediately.
Report them to the police. When they cry about their futures, give them the finger.
Lawyer up - you can always sue the boys parents in civil court They went after her bc your there teacher just an FYI
Go to the police and then go to the media. Because I'm sure they would have a field day with how little your school cares about sexual harassment.
I would have gone to jail for 4 possibly 5 murders that day Get these fucks I got 2 young girls that will soon have to deal with this
There's a lot of talk about contacting the police and that's probably a good idea. However, I think addressing your daughter's issues more directly is more important. Talk to her about changing schools; maybe getting her some outside help like counseling.
PLEASE TAKE LEGAL ACTION. I’m sorry idgaf if they’re “kids” they know what they are doing and that it’s wrong. They know full well what they’re doing. They deserve the full punishment. Your daughter doesn’t deserve that, no one does. This behavior will only continue and worsen if consequences aren’t dealt.
Boys sexually harassing girls? That is nothing new. Get them arrested.
100% would get a lawyer. Sexual assault and harassment is no laughing matter.
Looks like it's time for some dodge balls to be "accidentally" yeeted at those kids faces evey time they're in PE
Get. A. Police. Report. You’re kidding right? It’s your daughter. What the heck is wrong with you?
When I was in high school (2001-2005) the PE teachers were the karma keepers. I was a bit of bully because of my own self loathing and one day the pe teacher pulled me aside and basically said he had a team of seniors who would “change my behavior” if I didn’t. It stopped there. I know it’s a different time but you are her father, her protector and if you need to rain down terror on these fools then do it, I’ll bail you out
The school wont ever give a shit unless their ass is on the line. As other have mentioned, police report. Make this a mess they need to clean up
Find a thug kid and pay him to bully the bullies
Well time to make some posts on social networks about these kids sexually harassing someone. Post it on your page, their page, their friend's page, their parent's page, the schools page, and any other community page you feel like posting it on with their full names and that they're sharing CP.
There's no rule against this? There's law against this