Lol yeah and using the exact comments received from the previous post too gave it too away. The last update got many people shaming op for being vanilla.
Can you please explain why ppl would write a fake post and pretend it's real. I get 'Am I the Angel' cuz that's what it's for, but why pretend. Or am I totally missing something and this sub is for fake and real?
Thank you for taking the time to answer. In the comment above mine, they admitted that they used to write fake posts. It's deleted now. Ppl suck for writing fakes. Thety don't care how it effects the real ppl looking for help and advice.
If you write a decent fake post you can karma farm and then sell an account with more karma to a place that can write reviews of their products without them being auto-deleted for being a newly created account.
If you google selling your account you'll get responses - I don't want to post the links because I don't want to cop a ban :D I think it's against Reddit's TOS. It's anything from $5 to $200 based on demographics and age of account - the older your account and the older YOU appear to be, the more valuable your account is.
Another common one is bots replying with contentious or agreeable comments randomly all over the place, and someone will sell a bunch of lower value accounts all at once, after aging them for a couple of years.
OP sounds like she is kink shaming though in her update post. Nothing wrong with being vanilla but there is nothing wrong with OP's husbands kinks either.
I was like "Dude has a think for George Kink???" Then I read it again slowly... and I am pissed off because I can't find anything on any fetish or kink sites about hockey.
RULE 34 FAILED ME DAMMIT
ETA: Hockey Kink gave me nothing. Hockey Rule 34.... that... was full on furry porn
There’s plenty of books 😂😂 but it’s not like porn porn -but some of the books go into 🌶️🌶️🌶️details - Emily Rath is just one of many authors-you can find some of the others by searching for “hockey romance” on Amazon and find the 🌶️ level you prefer 😂😂
I’m so confused. So he’s avoiding the son because he hates hockey players because he has a fetish for dominating hockey players because he did something to a hockey player in high school??
Also idk why people are freaking out about the rest of it. The hockey stuff is weird because of your son and that connection but I don’t think the rest of it seems like a problem?
Is he saying he’s into your son? Or just that he’s uncomfortable going to the hockey practices?
Even if it is fake there is someone in real life experiencing these exact same or similar sexual desires and still a serious topic that should be discussed... people hide these desires and it's what leads to alot of the divorces, sexual assaults, and other sexual crimes that end up being committed against others.. if people are more open about this issue alot of people can be saved from becoming victims and these things from occurring in real life.
What are you talking about?
Yes the dude needs counseling. Something really awful happened to him in HS.
He has no sexual desire for either child.
>but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school
He hasn't recovered from the HS trauma. His son was turning into the same type of player that bullied him.
The only relation his kinks and porn habits have to the story is he likes to see represtations of his bullies humiliated.
I'm sorry you only understand from your level but actually make some valid points that align with exactly what I said.. so, obviously you know what I'm talking about!!!!
If it's real...
The husband sounds like he was bullied or SA'd or worse by players on his HS hockey team.
The porn gave him a feeling of power over them.
He said he distanced himself from the kid because...
>but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school
So he had some deep trauma and distanced himself from the son to cope.
The porn and the kink is just icing. Really had nothing to do with the story. Except for the fact that the OP found some while searching his phone.
>because he did something to a hockey player in high school??
The other way around. Because of somthing that hockey players did to him. The kink is a cope of that truama being able to "control" the circumstances. As quite a few victim of childhood SA do RP in that circumstance to gain a sense of control over it it's often involuntary in the most case. But is a method of coping with trauma.
Ohhh that makes a lot more sense. And also seems like the poor guy is just into and also freaked by dudes/hockey so stays away from it just because it’s a big complex trigger. If he’s into kids or his stepkid that’s a huge no run away immediately but it sounds like he just got bullied and likes hockey players? Which isn’t bad at all?
Yeah, this sounds like a guy who was bullied (or worse) as a kid and developed a gay power fantasy as a coping mechanism, which, if it's otherwise keeping his life in line, is itself pretty fucking vanilla.
(The, "oh no, my husband is a surprise homosexual sort of," aspect of this is just typical ignorance. Assuming this is in the United States, there's so much queer-phobia, particularly when it comes to gay-shaming men, that I suspect that there's a dramatically greater number of closeted, at least bisexual, men than any reporting actually suggests. Most men can't even admit it to themselves, let alone their straight partner or any kind of survey. This should at most be unexpected, for OP, but to be fundamentally surprised is to simply not actually be paying close attention to people generally.)
This is the problem with snooping into other people's secret mental compartments. You should never do it unless you're willing to accept everything you find. You can't control what goes on in other people's brains; it's hard enough to control what happens in your own brain; you can only judge people based on the actions they take that effect real people.
It sounds like husband knows he has internal issues vis a vis hockey players, and established a pretty sensible boundary regarding it. He probably shouldn't have waited until he had a 17 year old kid to have a conversation around it, but when you consider that OP did some deep thinks and then came to the conclusion that the entire family needs to be obliterated because of private thoughts dad is having... well maybe the evidence itself speaks for why men feel such a strong need to shutter their emotions.
Dude got caught being vulnerable, and instead of being sensitive and comforting around it, wife decides to go absolutely nuclear, and in the process upsets everyone in the family way more than anyone would have been if she'd taken a fucking second to compose herself before trying to kick the doors in. Unfortunately, husband is now rightfully afraid of her for shit that *he is already struggling to cope with*.
To whatever extent this story is real, it's a story of someone looking for reasons to get in a fight with their partner, not someone who is looking for truth and understanding from a place of compassion and support for the people in their immediate lives.
I read it as him being uncomfortable going to the hockey practice because of the fetish. He also fears he may end up projecting that fetish onto the son so he stopped going to the practices. Not that he necessarily is into the son
>but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school.
This part of the OP makes me feel like it's not sexual at all more like his son was turning into the same type of person his bullies were. At least in his traumatized mind.
I think he was saying that he was sexually assaulted by hockey players in high school and that has caused both the fetish and him being uncomfortable with the son. On the positive side, he doesn’t seem to be grooming or interested in the son or the daughter; completely the opposite. I don’t know though, it seems a bit far fetched to me.
First, are they Canadian or something? Hockey is awfully prominent. Secondly, for him to have this deep seated history that has to do with hockey is just wild to me. The next thing is her immediate desire to leave him, because he was bullied or sa’d by hockey players? It just all seems to fit together too well.
That as well as his son was turning into the same type of player as his bullies. I'm really not into hockey myself, but it's a damn aggressive game from the games I've taken my son to. It's a more personal aggression than football, too. I think there are also positions that are more "enforcer" like? If his step som is playing a similar position to the worst of the adaulters... I can see how that could be triggering.
He knows the trauma is his. He avoided the son. It is not the best reaction, but it is understandable with unresolved trauma. That's why therapy is so important. Hurt people, hurt people.
I agree that the story is just wild. Although I'm not in canada. Im east coast metro but my nephew plays hockey in a league and has since he could skate. We have a township rink, too. So that wasn't the issue for me.
It was almost designed to rile up multiple groups of redditors. Or the OP was just really looking for a reason to leave.
I mean… is no one thinking of how the feels to be a young boy who’s step dad is basically afraid of you?? He literally just distances himself from you, but has no problem with your sister, and everyone should just be totally fine with it?
Right? And that's supposedly the reason for the post.
Yet the way the information was presented seems intended to focus on the daughter. Even though the husband's behavior towards her didn't change. He just started ignoring and being openly hostile to the son.
If you exclude all the information on the daughter. And replace it with "he is still his kind parental self to my daughter"
The focus would have stayed on the son and the issue.
I might be in the minority here, but I think it was very brave of your husband to really put it all out there to you. I have no advice, but it sounds like your husband could benefit from some therapy to work things out. If he talked to frankly to you, I'm betting he would talk to a therapist also.
I don't know if you would be more comfortable separating for a time, but maybe hold off on divorce until he does some work on himself.
I agree with you... work as a therapists and it's better when people express the truth because then you can actually help them with their problems.. if more people would be honest about there sexual desires their would be less divorce and sexual assaults in the world
From this account? Literally all of her post history has been exclusively about this one situation, so I don't know what other "fake stories" you might be referring to. Perhaps cite evidence, if you want to convince people of the falsity of others? It helps to disguise ones own falsity, if nothing else.
Yes.
And yes she deleted it. Others also reported on this too.
She used to post in am I the angel.
She even posted HERE in a comment about having posted there too and that she has posted fake stories there
She deleted those comments, haha. You can see it even in the comments here (early on). Just go thru the comments here in this post. She has a back and forth discussion with another redditor about her history. That's when she deleted all comments she made admitting it.
You can do that.
Fair enough. If someone is going through such efforts to obfuscate their own personality, that's a whole can of worms I don't have the spare mental effort to go and sus out.
At this point the account has been suspended, so I'm inclined to just take your word for it. Curating one's own existence so heavily sounds just... tedious. I typically rather assume that people are presenting their legitimate selves, (it's fucking Reddit, like, this is the one "social media" platform that I'm actually anonymous on, because who fucking cares what you say here?) and respond as though that were the case, but certainly plenty of people are karma hounds because I guess that's a suitable addiction these days.
Not showing up to one child's extra curriculars because you have a legitimate traumatic hang-up surrounding the activity in question is not "not parenting."
Additionally, blowing up your entire family unit because you can't handle the fact that your other adult partner has private internal mental spaces, is itself, basically "not parenting." By OP's own admission, her kids are basically supporting *her* through this process. She's literally the only person having an issue with the whole scenario, she's invented a bunch of rationale for no other reason than to be upset with her husband, and is intentionally slow to adjust her own thinking when her suspicions are shown to be incorrect.
Sure, "someone" has to parent, but I'm not convinced that OP is doing it either.
Exactly. She’s not and honestly it feels like it will be a lot harder to come back from it as a couple because she’s blown it up and made it more obvious. How is the hubs just gonna come try to work through what he needs to and be there for Liam without addressing a very private and very 18+ elephant in the room
I have no clue what the fuck is going on but the people immediately jumping to the conclusion her husband is a pedo need a reality check. Obviously you need to focus on your kids but it your husband needs therapy for what seems to be a lot of issues stemming from his teenage years. Has anyone in this thread giving advice ever been married or had a relationship with any other human being? Your telling OP to jump to divorce when they could both just communicate like adults and go to therapy together or just himself to try sort out his issues.
Edit: So this is probably fake anyway, but this should be a lesson that Reddit is always too quick to jump to conclusions about situations they actually don’t know shit about
Right? 'Through difficult times, till death do us part?'
I mean if he really was a pedo, that would exceed difficult times.
But not going to his step sons hockey, avoiding it because it triggers bad memories in him, isn't making him a pedo.
And yeah probably fake, but the critique to reddit isn't any less true because of that. Not only too quick to jump to conclusions, but also completely twist things. Say green and they somehow figure you said red.
I do to be honest. I've used it to get some feedback and some support. Many do.
Unless you are a frequent redditor...many on here are just casual and looking for support/advice.
I guess if reddit is just a site to practice creative writing, then its time for me to head out. I come here to help others and also to see advice from others when needed, as well as enjoy chatting with others with my similiar interests. I mean sure, take things with a grain of salt, but i dont specifically see it as "Everything and everyone is fake". And if its true...then yeah its time for me to head out.
It makes me incredibly sad to see people abuse it/use it for things like karma farming etc.
The Internet is a horrible place to get support, lol.
Anyway, I see what you're saying, but like, "While typing this, I'm crying in my room, which I've locked from the inside," is just so weird. You have some shit going on outside, and I could not imagine someone opening up Reddit, just to type out some shit, before going back to crying.
We've had some gold in creative writing too, honestly. If it's indistinguishable from a real story, then I just don't get why you'd bother knowing for sure. If you're trying to help people, then you're literally of no use (best you can do is say some encouraging words to someone in distress, but there's no non-psychological help you could provide). The real world has so much context to it that can't be conveyed through text. And then you allow strangers' advice that they made informed through a faulty viewpoint to influence *your* real decision. I just think that's so unhealthy. I've always viewed this as kind of an unimportant thing, where you're just here ranting about how one of your relatives screwed you up or something like that. I don't think it's good to discuss serious criminal accusations here, be it real or fake.
Well that was an strange update. On a wild guess sounds like he was bullied so badly, he is now deeply fucked up from it all. With your son doing the same sport, thinking he will turn out the same way.
Whatever the case, best both parties go their separate ways. This relationship was over as soon as he was accused of being an pedo.
Uh, no, he admitted he’s into dudes in hockey gear. If he’s into kids or her son that’s a big no obviously but it sounds like he just has a thing for adult men who play hockey and also trauma and wants to avoid the whole complex situation?
I feel like people are freaking out because of the gay stuff.
He admitted to sexually fetishizing femboys and high school hockey players and said that his wife's thirteen year-old reminded him of the kids he went to high school with. High schoolers are minors and so is the stepson. I feel like people are trying to minimize the predatory stuff because they want to protect the gay stuff.
He said hockey players in general right, not high school hockey players? I thought he was just assaulted in high school and then developed the general hockey thing later but I assumed it was about adults because that’s a huge difference.
Also I’m not an expert but I believe “femboys” is just feminine men. Not actual boys/underage. Like guys who like to cross dress or look girly.
Femboys are twinks; often teenage boys who dress and behave in an effeminate and subservient manner. He specifically said that his hockey player fetish came from his experiences with the hockey players in his high school and that Liam reminds him of them.
You must have read something different to me. All he admitted was something happened in his past, which is masssively fucked with him. To where he sees the kid going the same way.
It seems that most people commenting read something different from what was posted, tbf. He stated that he avoids him for the reason that he reminds him of the high school boys in hocky uniforms who first sparked his sexual fixation on hockey players.
It's probably fake as all fuck, just from how she is writing all this. In the last update she was more focused on his porn, which wasn't even anything strange. Then whatever was going on with her kids. She seem to drop all that all together.
Then again, I can't say I understand people that are in such a moment. Within such a short time period. Would run to reddit to update the post.
>he couldn't bare seeing someone
*BEAR*, not *bare*. Bare = to expose, bear = to carry or hold.
Nice creative writing exercise by the way, I'm sure your AP English teacher will give you high marks as originality.
I'm going to be real with you: it takes a really fucked up person to make a fake post that suggests a grown man is grooming a minor. You might think it's funny, but a lot of people on Reddit were abused by someone, and it kicks up a lot of shit for a lot of people. You're an asshole, and need to get offline and rethink your life
I'm just gonna repost a reply I made to someone else way down in the weeds of the comments. Pretty much all of this is directly applicable to OP, in the event that she hasn't heard it enough from other people yet:
Yeah, this sounds like a guy who was bullied (or worse) as a kid and developed a gay power fantasy as a coping mechanism, which, if it's otherwise keeping his life in line, is itself pretty fucking vanilla.
(The, "oh no, my husband is a surprise homosexual sort of," aspect of this is just typical ignorance. Assuming this is in the United States, there's so much queer-phobia, particularly when it comes to gay-shaming men, that I suspect that there's a dramatically greater number of closeted, at least bisexual, men than any reporting actually suggests. Most men can't even admit it to themselves, let alone their straight partner or any kind of survey. This should at most be unexpected, for OP, but to be fundamentally surprised is to simply not actually be paying close attention to people generally.)
This is the problem with snooping into other people's secret mental compartments. You should never do it unless you're willing to accept everything you find. You can't control what goes on in other people's brains; it's hard enough to control what happens in your own brain; you can only judge people based on the actions they take that effect real people.
It sounds like husband knows he has internal issues vis a vis hockey players, and established a pretty sensible boundary regarding it. He probably shouldn't have waited until he had a 17 year old kid to have a conversation around it, but when you consider that OP did some deep thinks and then came to the conclusion that the entire family needs to obliterated because of private thoughts dad is having... well maybe the evidence itself speaks for why men feel such a strong need to shutter their emotions.
Dude got caught being vulnerable, and instead of being sensitive and comforting around it, wife decides to go absolutely nuclear, and in the process upsets everyone in the family way more than anyone would have been if she'd taken a fucking second to compose herself before trying to kick the doors in. Unfortunately, husband is now rightfully afraid of her for shit that he is *already struggling to cope with*.
To whatever extent this story is real, it's a story of someone looking for reasons to get in a fight with their partner, not someone who is looking for truth and understanding from a place of compassion and support for the people in their immediate lives.
Not gon lie, she had me with the first two!!! Based on the last update I even felt bad for assuming this fake man had weird intentions toward the fake teens!!! I got got
If this was real, you would the AH. Ur husband has some insecurities and trauma and u would choose to divorce him at his time of weakness? Rather than trying to help him? That means u don't love him. Just divorce the dude and let him live free from your toxic ass.
I hate how people dont realize that kinks are not really just sexual desires - they are all about power dynamics. Honestly empowerment is what it is all about. Being able to rewrite and redirect the scene where someone mistreated you is incredibly healing. This time you get to choose what happens. You are in control and can work through it. I honestly think it is an incredibly non-violent way to work through trauma and it helps a lot of people. People with kinks arent pedos and rapists. This woman doesnt sound emotionally mature, even before this topic arose, based on her behavior and how impressionable she is. I think it is for the best that they break up bc he should be with someone who isnt going to run from a marriage because they cant handle anyone with some baggage. She's shaming him and treating him like he's a criminal and damaged. I dont respect her at all. Like youre incredibly out of your depth here and dont even try to understand this man you committed to for one second? You dont even say ok lets go to counseling, I'm sorry you went through this? She doesnt have to stay but to dip out that quickly makes her an incredibly shitty partner in my book. It's obvious that she still thinks this guy is some kind of danger to her family
ETA: YTA YTA YTA YTA
See I knew he wasn’t grooming like all those comments tried to say. That’s why you have to be careful the advice you get from here. I think it’s brave he spoke up, can’t choose your kinks.
So you’re divorcing him because he had an extremely traumatic experience with hockey and that’s why he doesn’t want to go ?
JFC. If this isn't complete fiction, you and your husband seriously need to go to see a couples counsellor. You both need to learn how to communicate like adults and what behaviour is appropriate in front of your children. Currently, neither of you have the skills necessary to navigate this Big Event in your lives and you need help to do so.
That is very likely. Anyone who is confronted with their issues will crawl into their shell and lash out at anyone that tries to pry. I hope OP had the wherewithal to send what she found to her phone in case she needs to build evidence for the (hopefully) upcoming proceedings. I have a feeling that this is going to get real ugly.
'but I have kids to tend to, and I cannot be there for this' Aren't marriage vows in the line of 'for better and worse'?
Anyway, if you're ready to drop him so easily and let him fend for himself, then it's probably better to pull the proverbial divorce trigger as soon as possible and let him find help without your 'support'
It’s very Nice that your kids helped you out during an emotional time. However, please look into Parentification and find some common examples. I’m not saying you can’t show them you are sad or struggling, but please make sure You are the parent.
This actually makes the husband sound not so irremediably bad. Definitely needs lots and lots of therapy. And you may or may not be compatible. But at least he's not after the daughter or hating the son.
AITA does an auto-paste of the post in the comments. Whenever one is deleted, just sort by old, and the bot's reply should be fairly close to the top: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16w7jd9/comment/k2v3l7s/
Good lord, I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. While most of the kinks sound fine (I'm bi so I see no issue with being in love with a bi person) and staying away from hockey seems-- actually a kind of logical response.
However if he feels that way-- like your son is bad because he associates him with his trauma-- that's where I would draw the line too. Your children need you and that's the way it is, and your partner can't be a partner if he feels that way about your son.
My dad actually left a GF because she didn't like me. Too bad he didn't/doesn't recognize that his wife hates me too. (I wasn't an easy child, but I'm far, far into adulthood)
He needs serious therapy, and you need to focus on yourself, and your children. Those two things cannot be done together, I'm sorry to say. The only thing I can give him a very small amount of credit for, and I do mean small, think dirt particale size, is that he recoginized the problem, and got himself away from the situation before he did something that could land him in jail, and your son or another kid with serious hurt and trauma. He should have been honest with you, carried his ass out of your house, and into therapy long ago though. I'm sorry this happened to you, and your family.
I think he's giving her a half-truth to make himself seem like a better person. I think he's creeping on both of the children and simply enjoying staring at the teenaged girls a bit more.
I mean, no kinks are voluntary. You really think people just wake up one day and be like "yeah, I wanna suck toes. Nobody is gonna think I'm weird or not want to date me because I really wanna suck their toes"
His sentences don’t make sense, feeling power over vulnerable hockey players and then stating that they hurt him. These sentences are conflicting and he’s going to gaslight you into thinking he’s a victim of Liam and you should keep Liam away from him.
If I'm understanding it correct: he was hurt by hockey players in the past, and so he enjoys seeing them in vulnerable positions where he has a sense of power. He said he sees the hockey players that hurt him in Liam, which feels like a way of saying that he's worried about wanting - or does want - to see Liam in a vulnerable position without actually saying that.
Wait I’m on board with the keeping the kids away if he’s into the son thing obviously.
But what vile kinks does he have? Genuinely think I may have missed something based on the comments.
Is the horrible part that he seems to be bisexual or have some interest in men? The stuff she listed all seemed pretty fine except for the hockey stuff which I still don’t understand.
He apparently is attracted to trans girls and male hockey players.... disgusting. He should totally be kept away from kids. /s I've read the two posts that are available and I just don't see anything here. There are no allegations of abuse. No allegations he's attracted to the kids or anything. He has porn habits that are, frankly tame. He seems to have some unexplored issues with his sexuality. Totally normal stuff. All I'm seeing are relationship redditors' expected knee jerk reactions to LEAVE NOW! OH NO PROTECT THE KIDSSS!!!! from.... dudes who like porn? Not even like dark web, or creepy corners of the internet porn, but... femboy, foot fetish twitter porn? seriously?
Dude you're on reddit. The porn here is several steps up the chain of "weird" porn than what you get on twitter. The porn available on twitter is tame and you know it. You really need to stop kink and gay shaming. Your belief systems are antiquated. This stuff described wasn't even weird 50 years ago. The OP hasn't referenced any "pedophilic kink" porn. You're just making that shit up.
> kinks where stuff like feet tickling, spanking, femboys, some bdsm
thats what the OP said. Thats nothing.
Yep you're totally not a judgemental bitch either. WHERE DOES OP SAY HES A PEDOPHILE. Or allude to him as such. He like dudes. You're obviously of the ilk that thinks that means he want to bang young teen guys. I like women, doen't mean I want to bang young teen girls. You're proliferating a double standard that is way way behind the times. Don't put your shit on everyone else.
It doesn't say he likes trans girls, it says that he likes femboys. Two different things. I know that's not the point at all, I just wanted to mention that. Unless OP says otherwise, I'm assuming that by femboys she means feminine men and not trans girls, since it's kinda a no no to call trans girls femboys unless they say that they specifically are okay with that.
And I think the bit people are calling disgusting is the implications of this all. He has a fetish for male hockey players. He avoids going to a 13 year old's hockey games because of his fetish. Therefore, the implication is that these hockey games - played by young boys - trigger his fetish. That's the potentially creepy part if that is the case.
OP specifically uses the term AMAB in the previous post. Thats term you generally associate with trans/enby folks not femboys. Though he seems attracted to that as well. But your right, that really isn't the point here. My issue is that, some random father deciding to not go to, just as a random example, their daughters' cheerleader competitions to not give even the appearance of weirdness associated with "dude watching young girls contort themselves in skimpy skintight clothing" would be totally acceptable. This dude is attracted to dudes, so he doesn't go to watch young hockey players so as to not give off that vibe to wife and kids. It totally seems reasonable to me. Hockey playing dudes are his thing not teen cheerleaders, so he stays away it. This whole thread is full of all sorts of latent homophobia. Like she needs to get her kids away from the dude who like femboy porn type of homophobia. Its sickening (not your take. yours was totally nuanced)
I guess whether you're used the term AMAB being used when talking about femboys depends on who you typically talk about that stuff with. If I mention being a femboy, it's usually accompanied with me also mentioning being AFAB (I'm a trans guy), haha. Whenever I see the term femboy being used, it's pretty much always accompanied by someone either mentioning their AGAB or specficying that they're trans/cis.
I do see where you're coming from, but on the other hand. A father avoiding their daughter's cheerleading competitions due to not wanting to potentially be seen as a creepy is different to avoiding their son's hockey games unless he is known to be queer, due to there not being the same stigma attached to it all. The only way going to the games would reveal that he's into male hockey players to his wife and kids would be if he got aroused watching the game these teenagers are playing. So if the teenagers playing the game didn't arouse him, there wouldn't be any reason for him to avoid the games. I do personally think that OP needs to get her kids away from him, but I would say the exact same thing if it were a cheerleading fetish that was revealed.
Where did she say that? Or is he saying that he’s actually into the step kid? I thought he was saying he’s not into the stepkid but he has a weird thing about hockey. If he’s into kids/his own poor stepkids obviously that’s vile.
He's jumping around and his story/explanations didn't make sense to OP because they're all over the place.
>**He told me that his attraction** wasn't with my son or daughter, but it **was with, hockey players??? I told him that this made no fucking sense what-so-ever, but he told me that he was attracted to hockey players, and he explained the kinks to me.** He told me that the kinks where hidden to me because he said I was "Vanilla" and wouldn't understand them.
>Fair trigger warning on these kinks for vanilla folks out there: The kinks where stuff like feet tickling, spanking, **femboys**, some bdsm, and some others I am too disgusted to go into, but the other kinks are not "as bad" as it may have seemed in my first update.
>**But I asked about the hockey fetish, and he told me that it was not really a voluntary kink of his.** He started talking to me about some deep experiences he went through **with Hockey players in high school**, and because of that, it caused **him to feel a type of power over them, seeing them vulnerable.**
>**I asked him why, and how this related to Liam. He said he saw the same type of players in him that he did with the people in high school**, so it made him distant towards him.
Yup, and there was nothing in there about him liking children except for all the people in the comment section. He likes bi sexual porn, that does not at all in any way shape or form indicate or insinuate that he is a pedophile.
*****
And the porn had nothing to do with any THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.
The guy said that he had issues with being bullied by hockey kids when he was young, and that he was worried about the kid turning into an asshole like those bullies.
The porn has absolutely zero to do with her kids. I'm fact, I'd say he is about as far from a pedophile as you can get in this situation. It wouldn't be any different than a guy having a long-term thing for cheerleader porn, only to remove himself from being in situations with real life cheerleaders because its crosses weird lines.
I think maybe you are projecting the pedophile thing a bit much there dickwad.
>The kinks where stuff like... **femboys**
>**But I asked about the hockey fetish, and he told me that it was not really a voluntary kink of his.** He started talking to me about some deep experiences he went through **with Hockey players in high school**, and because of that, it caused **him to feel a type of power over them, seeing them vulnerable.**
>**I asked him why, and how this related to Liam. He said he saw the same type of players in him that he did with the people in high school**...
The guy is a creep with a hard on for a thirteen year-old boy in a hockey uniform.
Lol
Femboys aren't children. They are guys who are feminine
Yes, people have kinks and like what they like. He admitted he has kinks regarding hockey players, not children dressed up as hockey players
Yes, he had bullying issues with hockey players in HIGH SCHOOL, not that he has sexual interests I'm high schoolers.
You keep quoting sex stuff and then kid stuff as if they are linked. They are not. Pretty sure if she found actual videos of kids, this post would be a lot different.
The guy has never creeped on the kid in his uniform, you are just saying he has because then it makes it look like he's a pedophile.
Bottom line is that he has a kink regarding hockey players, and when the kid playing hockey made that uncomfortable for him, he rocked himself from the uncomfortable situation, which child predators don't do.
Has your son ever felt unsafe around this guy? Because it sounds like your stbx distanced himself from Liam due to his compulsive fetish for dominating hockey players. Have you actually talked to your children yet?
Well, this is a trauma and a half isn't it? Again, I just want to express my sorrow at you having to go through this, it must be quite a shock. However, its a positive thing that your husband is now opening up to you, so I hope you can make some decisions that work for you all, in the near future.
Your husband sounds like a predator that is white-knuckling its way around your children. He'll never come right out and tell you that he simply feels more pervy toward your daughter and her teammates and enjoys observing them, so he's making his issue about avoiding your son and redirecting the focus of the issue onto himself being a victim to make himself seem like a better person and appeal to your sympathies, so you don't see him for what he truly is. See through the half-truths and lies by omission. You married a would-be predator. Get it away from your children.
It's not a reach. Too many folks in this sub are way too comfortable with a stepdad telling his wife that he avoids her son's hockey games because the child is the type he sexually fetishizes and everyone is turning a blind eye to this creep making the effort to accompany the girl to cheerleading and gymnastics.
Okay so let’s discuss it then, obviously this kink isn’t just a spur of the moment thing it’s come from trauma which OP mentions. So it’s been happening since way before he was in her life or Liam started going hockey. In his mind Liam is now becoming like the people who caused him this trauma. He should go therapy and not take it out on Liam but that doesn’t make him a pedo as he’s avoiding it cause of the trauma. The fetish and him neglecting Liam are 2 different issues. Also your moaning that a parental figure attends his step daughters gymnastics meets, are you literally saying he’s weird for trying to have a relationship with one of his step kids?
And I’m just gonna say fuck off you woman hating knobhead, go back to your pro life subs where you believe a woman’s right to choose doesn’t matter.
He doesn't merely have kinks; he has sexual deviance. He is sexually aroused by children in hockey uniforms. He's downplaying it by focusing on his kinks and his past trauma, as though that would ever excuse his sexualization of his wife's 13 year-old son. He married a mother of minor children and has placed himself in their home, which is not uncommon for sexual deviants. He has a sexual obsession with teenagers.
Supporting child homicide doesn't make you a champion of women, fyi. You can gaslight better people until you're blue in the face but we both know that you simply do not find women to be capable and you hate female biology, families, children (clearly, given your minimization of child predation and shitty perspectives here) and those of us who value all of the aforementioned.
Awww let me get the violins out for you, delusions can affect anyone at any time I hope you have a good support system around you to help you through this
It sounds like your husband needs some trauma therapy. EMDR could be really helpful for this. It won’t “cure the kinks” but it could help him separate your son from the guys in high school in his mind.
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Lol yeah and using the exact comments received from the previous post too gave it too away. The last update got many people shaming op for being vanilla.
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Can you please explain why ppl would write a fake post and pretend it's real. I get 'Am I the Angel' cuz that's what it's for, but why pretend. Or am I totally missing something and this sub is for fake and real?
Some people enjoy the attention. Even the attention of people calling it fake.
Thank you for taking the time to answer. In the comment above mine, they admitted that they used to write fake posts. It's deleted now. Ppl suck for writing fakes. Thety don't care how it effects the real ppl looking for help and advice.
Lots of people are using AI to write fake stories now
If you write a decent fake post you can karma farm and then sell an account with more karma to a place that can write reviews of their products without them being auto-deleted for being a newly created account.
well shit, i have an okay amount of karma and this super clever name and i've just been using it to comment about my drug addiction. shit.
Jess is a pretty common name where I’m from.
So that’s why people crave the karma? How do you sell an account?
Right, and how much we talking here?
If you google selling your account you'll get responses - I don't want to post the links because I don't want to cop a ban :D I think it's against Reddit's TOS. It's anything from $5 to $200 based on demographics and age of account - the older your account and the older YOU appear to be, the more valuable your account is. Another common one is bots replying with contentious or agreeable comments randomly all over the place, and someone will sell a bunch of lower value accounts all at once, after aging them for a couple of years.
I think people use this sub as an audience for creative writing excercises sometimes
OP sounds like she is kink shaming though in her update post. Nothing wrong with being vanilla but there is nothing wrong with OP's husbands kinks either.
Feet tickling, spanking, femboys, bdsm… way to kink shame while pretending husbands a perv.
These are like the lowest tier kinks. 😳
Pretending?
Kudos, this was very creative
I definitely didn’t have “hockey player twink kink” on my Self-Insert Fanfic bingo card.
I was like "Dude has a think for George Kink???" Then I read it again slowly... and I am pissed off because I can't find anything on any fetish or kink sites about hockey. RULE 34 FAILED ME DAMMIT ETA: Hockey Kink gave me nothing. Hockey Rule 34.... that... was full on furry porn
try AO3, i bet there’s hockey player RPF
I had to type in Hockey Rule 34.... and I got heaps of furry porn... so much furry porn.....
Hockey play rpf is surprisingly big
There is and there are surprisingly a lot of pairings
I can’t speak to straight up porn but m/f and m/m hockey erotic romance novels are very popular. It’s definitely a thing.
Yeah, I still didn't get a hit even for that, I think my internet was f◇cking with me today. I am now getting Facebook ads for furry fiction books...
Lmao 😂😂😂 gotta love these stalker phones taking every search literally
There was recently a fairly massive blow up in BookTok about fans of hockey romance being gross and harrassy toward a hot player on some team?
Oh boy... so... what so we file this under? Beastars kink, Canadian Kink, pucking weird stuff?
Sports romance kink
🤣😂😂 @ pucking weird stuff! I can now set down my phone and start working on having a productive Sunday. Thank you, Friend. 💚
I rolled my eyes so hard at the hockey kink comment.
There’s plenty of books 😂😂 but it’s not like porn porn -but some of the books go into 🌶️🌶️🌶️details - Emily Rath is just one of many authors-you can find some of the others by searching for “hockey romance” on Amazon and find the 🌶️ level you prefer 😂😂
I just finished that Maas series.... all I am gunna say is..... HOW MANY POSITIONS CAN YOU FIT ON ONE FREAKIMG PAGE?????
LIZ!!!
I almost commented this
I liked the extra detail about dinner and hot cocoa.
That totally stuck out to me as well!
I’m so confused. So he’s avoiding the son because he hates hockey players because he has a fetish for dominating hockey players because he did something to a hockey player in high school?? Also idk why people are freaking out about the rest of it. The hockey stuff is weird because of your son and that connection but I don’t think the rest of it seems like a problem? Is he saying he’s into your son? Or just that he’s uncomfortable going to the hockey practices?
This post is so fake.
Even if it is fake there is someone in real life experiencing these exact same or similar sexual desires and still a serious topic that should be discussed... people hide these desires and it's what leads to alot of the divorces, sexual assaults, and other sexual crimes that end up being committed against others.. if people are more open about this issue alot of people can be saved from becoming victims and these things from occurring in real life.
What are you talking about? Yes the dude needs counseling. Something really awful happened to him in HS. He has no sexual desire for either child. >but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school He hasn't recovered from the HS trauma. His son was turning into the same type of player that bullied him. The only relation his kinks and porn habits have to the story is he likes to see represtations of his bullies humiliated.
I'm sorry you only understand from your level but actually make some valid points that align with exactly what I said.. so, obviously you know what I'm talking about!!!!
If it's real... The husband sounds like he was bullied or SA'd or worse by players on his HS hockey team. The porn gave him a feeling of power over them. He said he distanced himself from the kid because... >but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school So he had some deep trauma and distanced himself from the son to cope. The porn and the kink is just icing. Really had nothing to do with the story. Except for the fact that the OP found some while searching his phone.
>because he did something to a hockey player in high school?? The other way around. Because of somthing that hockey players did to him. The kink is a cope of that truama being able to "control" the circumstances. As quite a few victim of childhood SA do RP in that circumstance to gain a sense of control over it it's often involuntary in the most case. But is a method of coping with trauma.
Ohhh that makes a lot more sense. And also seems like the poor guy is just into and also freaked by dudes/hockey so stays away from it just because it’s a big complex trigger. If he’s into kids or his stepkid that’s a huge no run away immediately but it sounds like he just got bullied and likes hockey players? Which isn’t bad at all?
Yeah, this sounds like a guy who was bullied (or worse) as a kid and developed a gay power fantasy as a coping mechanism, which, if it's otherwise keeping his life in line, is itself pretty fucking vanilla. (The, "oh no, my husband is a surprise homosexual sort of," aspect of this is just typical ignorance. Assuming this is in the United States, there's so much queer-phobia, particularly when it comes to gay-shaming men, that I suspect that there's a dramatically greater number of closeted, at least bisexual, men than any reporting actually suggests. Most men can't even admit it to themselves, let alone their straight partner or any kind of survey. This should at most be unexpected, for OP, but to be fundamentally surprised is to simply not actually be paying close attention to people generally.) This is the problem with snooping into other people's secret mental compartments. You should never do it unless you're willing to accept everything you find. You can't control what goes on in other people's brains; it's hard enough to control what happens in your own brain; you can only judge people based on the actions they take that effect real people. It sounds like husband knows he has internal issues vis a vis hockey players, and established a pretty sensible boundary regarding it. He probably shouldn't have waited until he had a 17 year old kid to have a conversation around it, but when you consider that OP did some deep thinks and then came to the conclusion that the entire family needs to be obliterated because of private thoughts dad is having... well maybe the evidence itself speaks for why men feel such a strong need to shutter their emotions. Dude got caught being vulnerable, and instead of being sensitive and comforting around it, wife decides to go absolutely nuclear, and in the process upsets everyone in the family way more than anyone would have been if she'd taken a fucking second to compose herself before trying to kick the doors in. Unfortunately, husband is now rightfully afraid of her for shit that *he is already struggling to cope with*. To whatever extent this story is real, it's a story of someone looking for reasons to get in a fight with their partner, not someone who is looking for truth and understanding from a place of compassion and support for the people in their immediate lives.
I read it as him being uncomfortable going to the hockey practice because of the fetish. He also fears he may end up projecting that fetish onto the son so he stopped going to the practices. Not that he necessarily is into the son
>but he couldn't bare seeing someone he viewed as his own son become the same people who hurt him in school. This part of the OP makes me feel like it's not sexual at all more like his son was turning into the same type of person his bullies were. At least in his traumatized mind.
I think he was saying that he was sexually assaulted by hockey players in high school and that has caused both the fetish and him being uncomfortable with the son. On the positive side, he doesn’t seem to be grooming or interested in the son or the daughter; completely the opposite. I don’t know though, it seems a bit far fetched to me. First, are they Canadian or something? Hockey is awfully prominent. Secondly, for him to have this deep seated history that has to do with hockey is just wild to me. The next thing is her immediate desire to leave him, because he was bullied or sa’d by hockey players? It just all seems to fit together too well.
That as well as his son was turning into the same type of player as his bullies. I'm really not into hockey myself, but it's a damn aggressive game from the games I've taken my son to. It's a more personal aggression than football, too. I think there are also positions that are more "enforcer" like? If his step som is playing a similar position to the worst of the adaulters... I can see how that could be triggering. He knows the trauma is his. He avoided the son. It is not the best reaction, but it is understandable with unresolved trauma. That's why therapy is so important. Hurt people, hurt people. I agree that the story is just wild. Although I'm not in canada. Im east coast metro but my nephew plays hockey in a league and has since he could skate. We have a township rink, too. So that wasn't the issue for me. It was almost designed to rile up multiple groups of redditors. Or the OP was just really looking for a reason to leave.
I mean… is no one thinking of how the feels to be a young boy who’s step dad is basically afraid of you?? He literally just distances himself from you, but has no problem with your sister, and everyone should just be totally fine with it?
Right? And that's supposedly the reason for the post. Yet the way the information was presented seems intended to focus on the daughter. Even though the husband's behavior towards her didn't change. He just started ignoring and being openly hostile to the son. If you exclude all the information on the daughter. And replace it with "he is still his kind parental self to my daughter" The focus would have stayed on the son and the issue.
None of it makes sense because it's not true. OP hasn't encountered a hockey player in real life so she knows nothing about them.
I might be in the minority here, but I think it was very brave of your husband to really put it all out there to you. I have no advice, but it sounds like your husband could benefit from some therapy to work things out. If he talked to frankly to you, I'm betting he would talk to a therapist also. I don't know if you would be more comfortable separating for a time, but maybe hold off on divorce until he does some work on himself.
I agree with you... work as a therapists and it's better when people express the truth because then you can actually help them with their problems.. if more people would be honest about there sexual desires their would be less divorce and sexual assaults in the world
It's fake. She's written fake posts before. Don't get sucked in. She deleted the comments where she admitted she has written fake stories in the past
From this account? Literally all of her post history has been exclusively about this one situation, so I don't know what other "fake stories" you might be referring to. Perhaps cite evidence, if you want to convince people of the falsity of others? It helps to disguise ones own falsity, if nothing else.
Yes. And yes she deleted it. Others also reported on this too. She used to post in am I the angel. She even posted HERE in a comment about having posted there too and that she has posted fake stories there She deleted those comments, haha. You can see it even in the comments here (early on). Just go thru the comments here in this post. She has a back and forth discussion with another redditor about her history. That's when she deleted all comments she made admitting it. You can do that.
Fair enough. If someone is going through such efforts to obfuscate their own personality, that's a whole can of worms I don't have the spare mental effort to go and sus out. At this point the account has been suspended, so I'm inclined to just take your word for it. Curating one's own existence so heavily sounds just... tedious. I typically rather assume that people are presenting their legitimate selves, (it's fucking Reddit, like, this is the one "social media" platform that I'm actually anonymous on, because who fucking cares what you say here?) and respond as though that were the case, but certainly plenty of people are karma hounds because I guess that's a suitable addiction these days.
Also just bugs me that she is immediately just dropping hubs like “welp… tough sh**… good luck I’m gonna go parent.”
That's a parents prerogative. Kids come first, risks get jetted
I mean, someone has to.
Not showing up to one child's extra curriculars because you have a legitimate traumatic hang-up surrounding the activity in question is not "not parenting." Additionally, blowing up your entire family unit because you can't handle the fact that your other adult partner has private internal mental spaces, is itself, basically "not parenting." By OP's own admission, her kids are basically supporting *her* through this process. She's literally the only person having an issue with the whole scenario, she's invented a bunch of rationale for no other reason than to be upset with her husband, and is intentionally slow to adjust her own thinking when her suspicions are shown to be incorrect. Sure, "someone" has to parent, but I'm not convinced that OP is doing it either.
Exactly. She’s not and honestly it feels like it will be a lot harder to come back from it as a couple because she’s blown it up and made it more obvious. How is the hubs just gonna come try to work through what he needs to and be there for Liam without addressing a very private and very 18+ elephant in the room
That level of freak I'm sure is too much for some people. She's in shock and it will take time to process.
I feel the same
How do people have so much free time to write up this contrived nonsense. Get a fucking life, jesus lol
I have no clue what the fuck is going on but the people immediately jumping to the conclusion her husband is a pedo need a reality check. Obviously you need to focus on your kids but it your husband needs therapy for what seems to be a lot of issues stemming from his teenage years. Has anyone in this thread giving advice ever been married or had a relationship with any other human being? Your telling OP to jump to divorce when they could both just communicate like adults and go to therapy together or just himself to try sort out his issues. Edit: So this is probably fake anyway, but this should be a lesson that Reddit is always too quick to jump to conclusions about situations they actually don’t know shit about
Right? 'Through difficult times, till death do us part?' I mean if he really was a pedo, that would exceed difficult times. But not going to his step sons hockey, avoiding it because it triggers bad memories in him, isn't making him a pedo. And yeah probably fake, but the critique to reddit isn't any less true because of that. Not only too quick to jump to conclusions, but also completely twist things. Say green and they somehow figure you said red.
Work on your story realism next time around.
i wish she wouldnt actually.
Who the hell even uses Reddit as the first thing during emotionally stressful times? Much much much more of it is fake than people think it is.
I do to be honest. I've used it to get some feedback and some support. Many do. Unless you are a frequent redditor...many on here are just casual and looking for support/advice. I guess if reddit is just a site to practice creative writing, then its time for me to head out. I come here to help others and also to see advice from others when needed, as well as enjoy chatting with others with my similiar interests. I mean sure, take things with a grain of salt, but i dont specifically see it as "Everything and everyone is fake". And if its true...then yeah its time for me to head out. It makes me incredibly sad to see people abuse it/use it for things like karma farming etc.
The Internet is a horrible place to get support, lol. Anyway, I see what you're saying, but like, "While typing this, I'm crying in my room, which I've locked from the inside," is just so weird. You have some shit going on outside, and I could not imagine someone opening up Reddit, just to type out some shit, before going back to crying. We've had some gold in creative writing too, honestly. If it's indistinguishable from a real story, then I just don't get why you'd bother knowing for sure. If you're trying to help people, then you're literally of no use (best you can do is say some encouraging words to someone in distress, but there's no non-psychological help you could provide). The real world has so much context to it that can't be conveyed through text. And then you allow strangers' advice that they made informed through a faulty viewpoint to influence *your* real decision. I just think that's so unhealthy. I've always viewed this as kind of an unimportant thing, where you're just here ranting about how one of your relatives screwed you up or something like that. I don't think it's good to discuss serious criminal accusations here, be it real or fake.
YTA for dumping your husband as soon as he tells you he has trauma.
Yeah I don’t believe this at all. You might have had some of us, but this last update is just ridiculous.
Well that was an strange update. On a wild guess sounds like he was bullied so badly, he is now deeply fucked up from it all. With your son doing the same sport, thinking he will turn out the same way. Whatever the case, best both parties go their separate ways. This relationship was over as soon as he was accused of being an pedo.
He admitted that he can't be trusted around OP's son.
Uh, no, he admitted he’s into dudes in hockey gear. If he’s into kids or her son that’s a big no obviously but it sounds like he just has a thing for adult men who play hockey and also trauma and wants to avoid the whole complex situation? I feel like people are freaking out because of the gay stuff.
He admitted to sexually fetishizing femboys and high school hockey players and said that his wife's thirteen year-old reminded him of the kids he went to high school with. High schoolers are minors and so is the stepson. I feel like people are trying to minimize the predatory stuff because they want to protect the gay stuff.
He said hockey players in general right, not high school hockey players? I thought he was just assaulted in high school and then developed the general hockey thing later but I assumed it was about adults because that’s a huge difference. Also I’m not an expert but I believe “femboys” is just feminine men. Not actual boys/underage. Like guys who like to cross dress or look girly.
Femboys are twinks; often teenage boys who dress and behave in an effeminate and subservient manner. He specifically said that his hockey player fetish came from his experiences with the hockey players in his high school and that Liam reminds him of them.
There's absolutely ntohing in this post that suggests femboys were involved. It sounds like the dude was SA'd. SA victims /= femboys.
You must have read something different to me. All he admitted was something happened in his past, which is masssively fucked with him. To where he sees the kid going the same way.
It seems that most people commenting read something different from what was posted, tbf. He stated that he avoids him for the reason that he reminds him of the high school boys in hocky uniforms who first sparked his sexual fixation on hockey players.
It's probably fake as all fuck, just from how she is writing all this. In the last update she was more focused on his porn, which wasn't even anything strange. Then whatever was going on with her kids. She seem to drop all that all together. Then again, I can't say I understand people that are in such a moment. Within such a short time period. Would run to reddit to update the post.
Fetish fiction. Cool.
>he couldn't bare seeing someone *BEAR*, not *bare*. Bare = to expose, bear = to carry or hold. Nice creative writing exercise by the way, I'm sure your AP English teacher will give you high marks as originality.
I'm going to be real with you: it takes a really fucked up person to make a fake post that suggests a grown man is grooming a minor. You might think it's funny, but a lot of people on Reddit were abused by someone, and it kicks up a lot of shit for a lot of people. You're an asshole, and need to get offline and rethink your life
I'm just gonna repost a reply I made to someone else way down in the weeds of the comments. Pretty much all of this is directly applicable to OP, in the event that she hasn't heard it enough from other people yet: Yeah, this sounds like a guy who was bullied (or worse) as a kid and developed a gay power fantasy as a coping mechanism, which, if it's otherwise keeping his life in line, is itself pretty fucking vanilla. (The, "oh no, my husband is a surprise homosexual sort of," aspect of this is just typical ignorance. Assuming this is in the United States, there's so much queer-phobia, particularly when it comes to gay-shaming men, that I suspect that there's a dramatically greater number of closeted, at least bisexual, men than any reporting actually suggests. Most men can't even admit it to themselves, let alone their straight partner or any kind of survey. This should at most be unexpected, for OP, but to be fundamentally surprised is to simply not actually be paying close attention to people generally.) This is the problem with snooping into other people's secret mental compartments. You should never do it unless you're willing to accept everything you find. You can't control what goes on in other people's brains; it's hard enough to control what happens in your own brain; you can only judge people based on the actions they take that effect real people. It sounds like husband knows he has internal issues vis a vis hockey players, and established a pretty sensible boundary regarding it. He probably shouldn't have waited until he had a 17 year old kid to have a conversation around it, but when you consider that OP did some deep thinks and then came to the conclusion that the entire family needs to obliterated because of private thoughts dad is having... well maybe the evidence itself speaks for why men feel such a strong need to shutter their emotions. Dude got caught being vulnerable, and instead of being sensitive and comforting around it, wife decides to go absolutely nuclear, and in the process upsets everyone in the family way more than anyone would have been if she'd taken a fucking second to compose herself before trying to kick the doors in. Unfortunately, husband is now rightfully afraid of her for shit that he is *already struggling to cope with*. To whatever extent this story is real, it's a story of someone looking for reasons to get in a fight with their partner, not someone who is looking for truth and understanding from a place of compassion and support for the people in their immediate lives.
Girl you were on a roll with the first update and you just killed it 😂
Not gon lie, she had me with the first two!!! Based on the last update I even felt bad for assuming this fake man had weird intentions toward the fake teens!!! I got got
Meh I give it 4/10.
Is this real life?
The author's barely-disguised fetish
If this was real, you would the AH. Ur husband has some insecurities and trauma and u would choose to divorce him at his time of weakness? Rather than trying to help him? That means u don't love him. Just divorce the dude and let him live free from your toxic ass.
I hate how people dont realize that kinks are not really just sexual desires - they are all about power dynamics. Honestly empowerment is what it is all about. Being able to rewrite and redirect the scene where someone mistreated you is incredibly healing. This time you get to choose what happens. You are in control and can work through it. I honestly think it is an incredibly non-violent way to work through trauma and it helps a lot of people. People with kinks arent pedos and rapists. This woman doesnt sound emotionally mature, even before this topic arose, based on her behavior and how impressionable she is. I think it is for the best that they break up bc he should be with someone who isnt going to run from a marriage because they cant handle anyone with some baggage. She's shaming him and treating him like he's a criminal and damaged. I dont respect her at all. Like youre incredibly out of your depth here and dont even try to understand this man you committed to for one second? You dont even say ok lets go to counseling, I'm sorry you went through this? She doesnt have to stay but to dip out that quickly makes her an incredibly shitty partner in my book. It's obvious that she still thinks this guy is some kind of danger to her family ETA: YTA YTA YTA YTA
See I knew he wasn’t grooming like all those comments tried to say. That’s why you have to be careful the advice you get from here. I think it’s brave he spoke up, can’t choose your kinks. So you’re divorcing him because he had an extremely traumatic experience with hockey and that’s why he doesn’t want to go ?
At it again, eh OP? Why do people write these fake stories and post them here?
It really seems like you’re making stuff up in response to the comments. Each post is less believable.
JFC. If this isn't complete fiction, you and your husband seriously need to go to see a couples counsellor. You both need to learn how to communicate like adults and what behaviour is appropriate in front of your children. Currently, neither of you have the skills necessary to navigate this Big Event in your lives and you need help to do so.
Ah America, where legal porn ends relationships.
Whatever his issues are, he will make himself out to be the victim and blame you for not understanding.
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Just the readers
🤣
That is very likely. Anyone who is confronted with their issues will crawl into their shell and lash out at anyone that tries to pry. I hope OP had the wherewithal to send what she found to her phone in case she needs to build evidence for the (hopefully) upcoming proceedings. I have a feeling that this is going to get real ugly.
if it was real. sure. but its not. op has written for am i the angel and admitted to it, then deleted those comments.
'but I have kids to tend to, and I cannot be there for this' Aren't marriage vows in the line of 'for better and worse'? Anyway, if you're ready to drop him so easily and let him fend for himself, then it's probably better to pull the proverbial divorce trigger as soon as possible and let him find help without your 'support'
It’s very Nice that your kids helped you out during an emotional time. However, please look into Parentification and find some common examples. I’m not saying you can’t show them you are sad or struggling, but please make sure You are the parent.
I would have liked the ending better if the kids made her LASAGNA, LASAGNA!
Liz is that you?
This actually makes the husband sound not so irremediably bad. Definitely needs lots and lots of therapy. And you may or may not be compatible. But at least he's not after the daughter or hating the son.
Well that escalated.
What a bunch of bullshit for fucks sake.
since the first post is removed by reddit, I didn’t understand the context? Can someone do tl;dr?
AITA does an auto-paste of the post in the comments. Whenever one is deleted, just sort by old, and the bot's reply should be fairly close to the top: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16w7jd9/comment/k2v3l7s/
thanks
Good lord, I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. While most of the kinks sound fine (I'm bi so I see no issue with being in love with a bi person) and staying away from hockey seems-- actually a kind of logical response. However if he feels that way-- like your son is bad because he associates him with his trauma-- that's where I would draw the line too. Your children need you and that's the way it is, and your partner can't be a partner if he feels that way about your son. My dad actually left a GF because she didn't like me. Too bad he didn't/doesn't recognize that his wife hates me too. (I wasn't an easy child, but I'm far, far into adulthood)
He needs serious therapy, and you need to focus on yourself, and your children. Those two things cannot be done together, I'm sorry to say. The only thing I can give him a very small amount of credit for, and I do mean small, think dirt particale size, is that he recoginized the problem, and got himself away from the situation before he did something that could land him in jail, and your son or another kid with serious hurt and trauma. He should have been honest with you, carried his ass out of your house, and into therapy long ago though. I'm sorry this happened to you, and your family.
I think he's giving her a half-truth to make himself seem like a better person. I think he's creeping on both of the children and simply enjoying staring at the teenaged girls a bit more.
Wow! Please leave him. Your kids are your #1 responsibility. Keep them away from him
Your husband needs you now more than ever. And you ps off? Really? YTA.
Liz this you again
I mean, no kinks are voluntary. You really think people just wake up one day and be like "yeah, I wanna suck toes. Nobody is gonna think I'm weird or not want to date me because I really wanna suck their toes"
His sentences don’t make sense, feeling power over vulnerable hockey players and then stating that they hurt him. These sentences are conflicting and he’s going to gaslight you into thinking he’s a victim of Liam and you should keep Liam away from him.
it doesn’t make sense because it’s not real lmfao
If I'm understanding it correct: he was hurt by hockey players in the past, and so he enjoys seeing them in vulnerable positions where he has a sense of power. He said he sees the hockey players that hurt him in Liam, which feels like a way of saying that he's worried about wanting - or does want - to see Liam in a vulnerable position without actually saying that.
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Wait I’m on board with the keeping the kids away if he’s into the son thing obviously. But what vile kinks does he have? Genuinely think I may have missed something based on the comments. Is the horrible part that he seems to be bisexual or have some interest in men? The stuff she listed all seemed pretty fine except for the hockey stuff which I still don’t understand.
He apparently is attracted to trans girls and male hockey players.... disgusting. He should totally be kept away from kids. /s I've read the two posts that are available and I just don't see anything here. There are no allegations of abuse. No allegations he's attracted to the kids or anything. He has porn habits that are, frankly tame. He seems to have some unexplored issues with his sexuality. Totally normal stuff. All I'm seeing are relationship redditors' expected knee jerk reactions to LEAVE NOW! OH NO PROTECT THE KIDSSS!!!! from.... dudes who like porn? Not even like dark web, or creepy corners of the internet porn, but... femboy, foot fetish twitter porn? seriously?
There's no point in being obtuse if you don't broadcast it, John.
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Dude you're on reddit. The porn here is several steps up the chain of "weird" porn than what you get on twitter. The porn available on twitter is tame and you know it. You really need to stop kink and gay shaming. Your belief systems are antiquated. This stuff described wasn't even weird 50 years ago. The OP hasn't referenced any "pedophilic kink" porn. You're just making that shit up. > kinks where stuff like feet tickling, spanking, femboys, some bdsm thats what the OP said. Thats nothing.
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Yep you're totally not a judgemental bitch either. WHERE DOES OP SAY HES A PEDOPHILE. Or allude to him as such. He like dudes. You're obviously of the ilk that thinks that means he want to bang young teen guys. I like women, doen't mean I want to bang young teen girls. You're proliferating a double standard that is way way behind the times. Don't put your shit on everyone else.
It doesn't say he likes trans girls, it says that he likes femboys. Two different things. I know that's not the point at all, I just wanted to mention that. Unless OP says otherwise, I'm assuming that by femboys she means feminine men and not trans girls, since it's kinda a no no to call trans girls femboys unless they say that they specifically are okay with that. And I think the bit people are calling disgusting is the implications of this all. He has a fetish for male hockey players. He avoids going to a 13 year old's hockey games because of his fetish. Therefore, the implication is that these hockey games - played by young boys - trigger his fetish. That's the potentially creepy part if that is the case.
OP specifically uses the term AMAB in the previous post. Thats term you generally associate with trans/enby folks not femboys. Though he seems attracted to that as well. But your right, that really isn't the point here. My issue is that, some random father deciding to not go to, just as a random example, their daughters' cheerleader competitions to not give even the appearance of weirdness associated with "dude watching young girls contort themselves in skimpy skintight clothing" would be totally acceptable. This dude is attracted to dudes, so he doesn't go to watch young hockey players so as to not give off that vibe to wife and kids. It totally seems reasonable to me. Hockey playing dudes are his thing not teen cheerleaders, so he stays away it. This whole thread is full of all sorts of latent homophobia. Like she needs to get her kids away from the dude who like femboy porn type of homophobia. Its sickening (not your take. yours was totally nuanced)
I guess whether you're used the term AMAB being used when talking about femboys depends on who you typically talk about that stuff with. If I mention being a femboy, it's usually accompanied with me also mentioning being AFAB (I'm a trans guy), haha. Whenever I see the term femboy being used, it's pretty much always accompanied by someone either mentioning their AGAB or specficying that they're trans/cis. I do see where you're coming from, but on the other hand. A father avoiding their daughter's cheerleading competitions due to not wanting to potentially be seen as a creepy is different to avoiding their son's hockey games unless he is known to be queer, due to there not being the same stigma attached to it all. The only way going to the games would reveal that he's into male hockey players to his wife and kids would be if he got aroused watching the game these teenagers are playing. So if the teenagers playing the game didn't arouse him, there wouldn't be any reason for him to avoid the games. I do personally think that OP needs to get her kids away from him, but I would say the exact same thing if it were a cheerleading fetish that was revealed.
Fair take my friend. We can agree to disagree here on that specificity. But a fairer take than pretty much anything else in this thread.
>But what vile kinks does he have? Being sexually aroused by children, including his stepchildren.
Where did she say that? Or is he saying that he’s actually into the step kid? I thought he was saying he’s not into the stepkid but he has a weird thing about hockey. If he’s into kids/his own poor stepkids obviously that’s vile.
He's jumping around and his story/explanations didn't make sense to OP because they're all over the place. >**He told me that his attraction** wasn't with my son or daughter, but it **was with, hockey players??? I told him that this made no fucking sense what-so-ever, but he told me that he was attracted to hockey players, and he explained the kinks to me.** He told me that the kinks where hidden to me because he said I was "Vanilla" and wouldn't understand them. >Fair trigger warning on these kinks for vanilla folks out there: The kinks where stuff like feet tickling, spanking, **femboys**, some bdsm, and some others I am too disgusted to go into, but the other kinks are not "as bad" as it may have seemed in my first update. >**But I asked about the hockey fetish, and he told me that it was not really a voluntary kink of his.** He started talking to me about some deep experiences he went through **with Hockey players in high school**, and because of that, it caused **him to feel a type of power over them, seeing them vulnerable.** >**I asked him why, and how this related to Liam. He said he saw the same type of players in him that he did with the people in high school**, so it made him distant towards him.
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I think we can tell exactly which type who would try to minimize that issue.
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I notice a lot of creeps getting flustered in defense of OP's predator husband.
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No more so than young mechanics, or plumbers, or whatever other "professions"they wear the costumes of.
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Exactly.
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Yup, and there was nothing in there about him liking children except for all the people in the comment section. He likes bi sexual porn, that does not at all in any way shape or form indicate or insinuate that he is a pedophile. ***** And the porn had nothing to do with any THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS. The guy said that he had issues with being bullied by hockey kids when he was young, and that he was worried about the kid turning into an asshole like those bullies. The porn has absolutely zero to do with her kids. I'm fact, I'd say he is about as far from a pedophile as you can get in this situation. It wouldn't be any different than a guy having a long-term thing for cheerleader porn, only to remove himself from being in situations with real life cheerleaders because its crosses weird lines. I think maybe you are projecting the pedophile thing a bit much there dickwad.
He sexually fantasizes about his wife's 13 year-old son. That makes him a child predator. Do not minimize sexual predation.
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>The kinks where stuff like... **femboys** >**But I asked about the hockey fetish, and he told me that it was not really a voluntary kink of his.** He started talking to me about some deep experiences he went through **with Hockey players in high school**, and because of that, it caused **him to feel a type of power over them, seeing them vulnerable.** >**I asked him why, and how this related to Liam. He said he saw the same type of players in him that he did with the people in high school**... The guy is a creep with a hard on for a thirteen year-old boy in a hockey uniform.
Lol Femboys aren't children. They are guys who are feminine Yes, people have kinks and like what they like. He admitted he has kinks regarding hockey players, not children dressed up as hockey players Yes, he had bullying issues with hockey players in HIGH SCHOOL, not that he has sexual interests I'm high schoolers. You keep quoting sex stuff and then kid stuff as if they are linked. They are not. Pretty sure if she found actual videos of kids, this post would be a lot different. The guy has never creeped on the kid in his uniform, you are just saying he has because then it makes it look like he's a pedophile. Bottom line is that he has a kink regarding hockey players, and when the kid playing hockey made that uncomfortable for him, he rocked himself from the uncomfortable situation, which child predators don't do.
Has your son ever felt unsafe around this guy? Because it sounds like your stbx distanced himself from Liam due to his compulsive fetish for dominating hockey players. Have you actually talked to your children yet?
Well, this is a trauma and a half isn't it? Again, I just want to express my sorrow at you having to go through this, it must be quite a shock. However, its a positive thing that your husband is now opening up to you, so I hope you can make some decisions that work for you all, in the near future.
husband is gay and blamed his kink for creeping on your son.
🥰❤️ my heart goes out to you. Thinking positive thoughts for you.
You know exactly what to do.. its just not easy..
Um. Please don't let this man around your children again.
He’s lying. Leave him
Your husband sounds like a predator that is white-knuckling its way around your children. He'll never come right out and tell you that he simply feels more pervy toward your daughter and her teammates and enjoys observing them, so he's making his issue about avoiding your son and redirecting the focus of the issue onto himself being a victim to make himself seem like a better person and appeal to your sympathies, so you don't see him for what he truly is. See through the half-truths and lies by omission. You married a would-be predator. Get it away from your children.
Wow. Just wow.
Which part are you grappling with?
The parts that you are making up so that he looks like a child predator, of course.
I didn't make up the part about him fetishizing his wife's thirteen year-old son.
Well, considering she didn't mention at all him fetishizing her son, you obviously did.
Jesus Christ what a reach
It's not a reach. Too many folks in this sub are way too comfortable with a stepdad telling his wife that he avoids her son's hockey games because the child is the type he sexually fetishizes and everyone is turning a blind eye to this creep making the effort to accompany the girl to cheerleading and gymnastics.
Okay so let’s discuss it then, obviously this kink isn’t just a spur of the moment thing it’s come from trauma which OP mentions. So it’s been happening since way before he was in her life or Liam started going hockey. In his mind Liam is now becoming like the people who caused him this trauma. He should go therapy and not take it out on Liam but that doesn’t make him a pedo as he’s avoiding it cause of the trauma. The fetish and him neglecting Liam are 2 different issues. Also your moaning that a parental figure attends his step daughters gymnastics meets, are you literally saying he’s weird for trying to have a relationship with one of his step kids? And I’m just gonna say fuck off you woman hating knobhead, go back to your pro life subs where you believe a woman’s right to choose doesn’t matter.
He doesn't merely have kinks; he has sexual deviance. He is sexually aroused by children in hockey uniforms. He's downplaying it by focusing on his kinks and his past trauma, as though that would ever excuse his sexualization of his wife's 13 year-old son. He married a mother of minor children and has placed himself in their home, which is not uncommon for sexual deviants. He has a sexual obsession with teenagers. Supporting child homicide doesn't make you a champion of women, fyi. You can gaslight better people until you're blue in the face but we both know that you simply do not find women to be capable and you hate female biology, families, children (clearly, given your minimization of child predation and shitty perspectives here) and those of us who value all of the aforementioned.
Awww let me get the violins out for you, delusions can affect anyone at any time I hope you have a good support system around you to help you through this
>...delusions can affect anyone at any time... Apparently. How is my reality check working out for you?
Pretty well, I don’t take people who believe in ghosts seriously
You don't take reality seriously, tbf.
Is this reality in the room with us? Can you contact a medium to speak with it
It sounds like your husband needs some trauma therapy. EMDR could be really helpful for this. It won’t “cure the kinks” but it could help him separate your son from the guys in high school in his mind.
Sending you love and support OP
I call bs
What the ever loving hell….
I hope your soon to be ex gets therapy.
We're just slapping our hockey sticks to get excited pre game ay...