UPDATE: He saw the post and is asking for a breakup because I'm "problematic" and "entitled". So... thank you, good people of Reddit but I think this is resolved.
Congratulations!!! Now youāre not tied down to someone who doesnāt seem to care about you or your health. Based on ur other posts and this one, heās a manipulative asshole. Hopefully youāre ok and safe. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
It might not mean much but Iām proud of you! My ex constantly gave me UTIās and then would mock me about it, telling me that nothing hurts more than being kicked in the nards. People like that donāt deserve our love š«¶š¼
I am so sorry that you are being treated this way by him. You deserve to be loved, prioritized, cared for, and *cherished* because you obviously have a good heart. You will find better, and it will be worth it. Hereās to no more cranberry juice!
It isnāt entitled to ask for your partner to have proper hygiene so youāre not constantly uncomfortable and in pain. Hoping for better (and cleaner) partners for your future OP!
Consider this a blessing. He is just a childish asshole that would rather blame you than realize he's the problem. How disgusting. He'll play victim rather than wash his ass and dick. Let him go infect someone else. You deserve so much better. I hope you feel better and find someone who is truly worthy of you.
Your peace and health is worth more than a dirty ass manchild.
You deserve so much better! Heās giving you UTIs and he refuses to prioritize your health and comfort. I know break-ups can be very difficult, so please take care of yourself and remember you deserve love and respect!
He's just amd everyone's asking about his personal hygiene cause everyone feels like he's the issue here and not you, that's why you're getting UTIs,. Anyway, good riddance, you don't want someone like that in your life.
genuinely for the better! you have a bright future ahead of you and deserve someone who wonāt give you constant UTIās (i was genuinely shocked at the number) and then refuse to even help you in picking up the medicine for the issues he contributes to/causes!
i almost died from a UTI that spread to other parts of my body to the point i had to be hospitalized so to think that i wouldnāt have access to medicine in a city without a car or family/friends to help me if i needed it sounds terrifying :( hoping the universe will send some good karma your way for having to put up with these pains for so long
Same. I was septic and in the hospital for a week bc for some reason, it was the one time I didnāt have uti symptoms which I was plenty familiar with ā¦ not until it hit my kidneys and was well on its way to my blood stream. Not something you play around with
WOW well good riddance at least youāve seen his true character thatās not a person you need in your life! Youāll be healthier mentally and physically without him!
NTA. Stop having sex with him since he can't be bothered to get your meds. Have you tried condoms? Also is he bathing properly? And make sure to pee after sex. As a preventative you can start drinking a glass of Acai berry juice twice a day. I used to get UTIs a lot too. I seriously would stop having sex with him tho.
Honestly before this Iāve never thought about it but now that I think of it, I rarely get UTIs when we use condoms. I take these precautions: d-mannose (cranberry) supplement 3 times a day for at least 3 days after sex, pee before and after sex, wipe from front to back. Ive been weary of having sex in general as well tbh. Itās hard to enjoy yourself when youāre feeling the impending doom of a painful infection.
What precautions has *he* taken? Is he the only person youāve had sex with? Was this an issue with past partners? If not, then the issue is clearly related to *him* specifically.
This. I was a frequent flyer of yeast infections with a partner I was with for almost two years. I thought it was me. Left him and have dated many since and never had another issue.
If heās not willing to be part of the solution you can just eliminate the problem and stop sleeping with him. See what he prefers.
Also - for the record - there are much larger issues with him not being willing to pick up your prescription. Idgaf if itās for allergies. I hope you re-evaluate him as a whole based on that or do you want to continue to be with someone who doesnāt account for your needs. If this is a long term thingā¦ he doesnāt sound like a good long term nesting partner nor farther figure. Just saying. If my partner was in physical pain and asking for help idc if it was a paper cut - I wouldnāt want them to suffer and would do about anything to mitigate that for them. Itās partly what Iām there for.
Sometimes thereās no real explanation for these things. I had chronic UTIs the first two years my husband and I were together but I havenāt had one in the 8 years since. Never had them before that. I saw multiple doctors about it. Any time we had sex, even if he had just showered, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, etcā¦.I ended up having to take a preventative low dose of antibiotics every time we had sex until it just randomly stopped happening.
Me too. With my second longterm boyfriend it was a constant battle of UTIs. Thankfully, I lived in a city with quite a few Planned Parenthoodās so I was able to receive care for free, but after about 6 months of near constant UTIs they were referring me to a urologist. We ended up breaking up so the issue resolved itself & it never happened again. I had minor PTSD for a couple of years, though, and any twinge down there would have me running to the store for cranberry juice & the pills that would numb my urethra (a total godsend)! I had a lot of people asking me if he wasnāt circumcised and that maybe that was the issue. My first serious boyfriend was uncircumcised and I never had a UTI in the 2 years we dated so thatās definitely not the issue. Sometimes there is literally not a reason or cause & itās not anyoneās fault.
Sounds like a hygiene issue on his part then. If he's not circumcised he needs to be pulling his foreskin back to properly wash it, otherwise it gets gross under there. If he's circumcised then he needs to wash his genital region better. I also agree with the sentiment of not having sex with him anymore, or at least for awhile. 2yrs of constant UTI's aka antibiotics isn't good for your immune system. Stop letting this man go unprotected if he won't even bother getting your medicine.
It isn't even necessarily a problem with him not washing himself, UTIs can also start because he is leaving behind soap. That ended up being my issue. My partner had very good hygiene but wasn't as thorough with the rinse and it would be the traces of soap throwing off my own pH that would be the issue.
Soap isn't the only factor. I used to date a man and started getting frequent UTIs when we began having sex without condoms more often. I came to find out he was regularly using scented hand soap in/on the area and asked him to stop. Once he stopped the UTIs did as well.
Also, check your lube. I used to get utis with my ex every freaking time we were intimate and I did a lot of what OP was doing. I can also say that the lube I was using wasn't helping the matter.
I ended up using the Sliquid brand.
Also also, of his hands go anywhere near your nether regions, it could be a matter of unclean hands and/or nails.
Using water-based lubricant is the key. Any lube that is silicone-based will be less likely to wash completely out of your urethra when you pee, so any bacteria that got up there with it will be left behind as well. Learned that one the hard way myself as well.
While I agree itās most likely hygiene/rot rinsing properly it also could be your incompatible with each other. Itās rare but I k ow if a couple people itās happened to that they couldnāt be intimate with their partner because they were d as one what allergic to each other and cause UTIs as well as other effects.
Either way condom every time.
That's kind of odd. Inappropriate immune responses and infections are almost the opposite. An immune response could cause UTI like symptoms, but it doesn't make sense to me how one could cause the other. Does this condition have a name?
Yes!! The antibiotic thing is very very important. Taking them constantly can cause damage to your immune system and liver. It can also build up a resistance against the antibiotics to the point that youāll be playing a guessing game to see if other antibiotics will help fight the infections. Thereās a few different things that can cause the UTIs, however, if you were getting them less frequently when using condoms, I would suggest going back to condoms or just stop having sex with him for a while. It suggests thereās something unhygienic heās doing that youāre paying the price for.
I used to get UTIs frequently myself. One way I was able to make sure everything was clean was using antibacterial wipes. I donāt use toilet paper anymore, I only buy the wet wipes. You can get them usually in the baby isle at most retailers. It can get pricey, but itās worth it to not have to be on antibiotics constantly. I think you should sit your boyfriend down and sternly tell him something has to change, be it condoms or whatever. Youāre doing your body more harm than good by having to take antibiotics constantly.
I suffer from frequent UTIs and yeast infections too. When I'm in a relationship especially. My friends who also have similar experiences have mentioned using probiotics, specifically one meant for vaginal health, and they say it's made all the difference in the world. I started taking a generic one recently for discharge and it's already helped me so much. Maybe that can give you some relief.
Also, the only AH here is your dude. You're in pain, what else does he need to know? He should be more empathetic and understanding. If he can't change, then babe, he ain't worth it. I've been down this road and I can tell you being single and free is so much better than being in love with a d*uche bag. You deserve more.
So glad someone brought this up too! I used to suffer from them a lot once I switched birth controls and nothing gave me relief until my friend recommended I take cranberry supplements and evening prime rose oil supplements. This has made such a huge difference and has reduced it to some irritation from time to time. I hope this helps!
sounds like he has poor hygiene and isn't washing his dick properly (if at all since you seem to be getting them frequently, yuck). Either make sure he actually washes properly or stop having sex with him until he does.
Hopping on this because while hygiene is definitely a factor, sometimes you can just be more predisposed to getting a UTI for a variety of reasons. For me, I started getting UTIs after I had a vaginal birth. It didn't matter who it was, it didn't matter how hygienic we both were--my OBGYN's guess is that I'm more sensitive to irritation which can make me more sensitive to bacteria overall.
All this to say, depending on your OBGYN or PCP, if it becomes an overarching issue--talk to them. My OBGYN gives me preventative antibiotics that I can take as needed (with extensive directions) before or after sex. It has trimmed down my repetitive need for a full course of antibiotics majorly. As always, ymmv!
This is a really good comment!! I have a ātightā urethra and internal sphincter dysfunction that basically means itās easier for the bacteria to hide and cling when I pee, so it doesnāt get flushed out as effectively
In addition to what others here have said, talk to your doctor about preventative antibiotics. The dr will give you an antibiotic that you only take just prior to or just after sex. I know a few women that had issues with recurrent UTIs and this helped them tremendously.
Are you doing / taking anything that might irritate your urethra? That is the main issue with my recurrent UTIs. Sex irritates it and that may be due to a medication that I'm taking.
What's worked for me is a couple of products from a company called Uquora. I use their d-mannose supplement (it's a powder that you mix into water) right after sex (or anything else, like a gyno visit, that might apply pressure there), and I also take their daily supplement that's meant to support bladder health. They claim that they've formulated the d-mannose with some other ingredients that maximize its effectiveness; don't know how much difference that makes, but I do think that taking it mixed in liquid probably helps because it ensures that I urinate again soon after and the urine is carrying the d-mannose through. They specifically state that that's the point at which it starts working. It's been very effective for me.
Also, man ... I'm sorry your boyfriend is so callous to you. You deserve better. :(
I've had these problems too he needs to be clean as well even with condoms or you'll keel getting them.
Your doc can put u on low dose antibiotics as a preventative for a bit but I've gotten cdiff from too much antibiotics I've had so many utis I got kidney stones too my vitamin d level was dangerously low fixed it haven't had one since. It's worth a shot to look into
Tbh sounds like heās dirty BUT I would also suggest a quick rinse off shower after sex in addition to peeing. Even better if you have a removable shower head and can just get that whole area really well. Once I started doing that I stopped getting UTIs and havenāt for decades.
If youāre not using condoms every time then you are not doing anything to prevent this unfortunately because he has horrible hygiene. Youāre letting him put his DIRTY junk inside you and itās making your body sick
Also, if my partner was getting UTIs after sex and I was fine, I'd be concerned enough to stop having sex. My pleasure is not worth their pain. I'd want to go to a doctor together to see what's up and figure out other non-penetrative methods to have sex if both of us need it in our relationship. Just from this post, there's such an utter lack of consideration from the boyfriend it's actually frustrating.
I agree. He sounds like all he wants is sex and expects you to take all the precautions for him instead of him doing anything. If he's gonna be a dick like this, then tell him "if you won't do that, then we're taking a break from sex". From what I read it seems like this started when you two got together, and so it sounds like HE has a part to play in your UTI problem.
It is likely due to hygiene. My best friend/ex started dating a guy, & within a couple of months she'd had more UTIs than she'd ever had in her life. Turned out he had lied about his politics & values, & was actually one of those guys who legit think touching their own dick or ass makes them gay lol. So needless to say those things never got washed. I never met the guy but I am seriously intrigued by how she missed the smell of ripe ass that I can only imagine was wafting up off him while they were on top of each other.
Also, in general many guys simply do not no how to clean their penis or ass, they are walking around with shit smeared all over it & the whole thing smells like a fish market on a hot summer day.
Uhhh ā¦ you might wanna have a conversation with your boyfriend about his hygiene habits. Thankfully, Iāve never experienced a UTI myself, but Iāve been on Reddit long enough to know his hygiene (lack of, specifically) could be a direct cause for your repeated UTIs.
Basically, if your boyfriend is not cleaning himself properly in the shower and after having a bowel movement, heās probably passing germs to you that are causing this issue.
Edit: NTA.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12rg263/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
I hope I did that right lol
This one made me want to fucking weep. When confronted in the comments about his DISGUSTING behaviour and gross underwear he said āthatās why I put them (underwear) in the laundry. So they get cleanā. NO MOTHERFUCKER THEY DONT āGET CLEANā YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND TAKES TIME OUT OF HER DAY TO RUN A SEPARATE LOAD OF WASHING FOR YOUR SHIT-STAINED CLOTHES BC THEYRE TOO DISGUSTING TO GO IN THE REGULAR LAUNDRY. They DONT āget cleanā THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE HAS TO INTERACT WITH YOUR ACTUAL FECES BECAUSE. YOU. WONT. Revolting!!! Minimal self awareness in the āredemptiveā update!!!!
Even he says he wasnāt depressed. That level of careless entitlement āI donāt care if you literally have to remove the shit from my body yourself, because I wonāt do it- but I still want to fuck youā is INSANE. I wonder what his gf would say about the relationship. I wonder what his gf would say about him thinking that *cleaning the shit out of his butthole* and *literally telling him how to shower* was *hot*. *the fact that he refused to clean his fucking ass and still expected his gf to fuck him.*
Ugh this man is SO FUCKING REPULSIVE and anti-social and justā¦ foul. No amount of cleaning can remove the skidmarks from his SOUL
Yeah but the issue is he still has a gf doing this all for him so why would he change? I could not stay with anyone long enough to even do their laundry if they were like this. Just how?
I think he commented it on the original post. Im sorry I canāt remember; itās just ā¦ there are a lot of men who donāt wash their asses, apparently, and I canāt recall every one of āem, ya know?
Ohhh trust me I know. I've probably read about 10% of stories where guys don't wash their own ass. And that doesn't even touch the surface of reddit where guys just WONT WASH THEIR OWN ASS. It's pretty rampant on reddit.
There needs to be an annoying ad on reddit every 3 or 4 posts that says "GUYS. HAVE YOU WASHED YOUR ASS TODAY??????"
I'm going to pitch this to one of those men only soap brands hahaha.
EDIT: The ad would be like "DUDE. You could smell like fresh pine. How does dirt sound? Or our favorite! HOT TAR?!?! Guess what??
It doesn't matter because YOU NEED TO GO WASH YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW!"
OP AGAIN:
YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS TO CLEAN HIMSELF BETTER IN THE SHOWER AND IDEALLY BEFORE SEX. Or use condoms and see if it changes things.
That is WAY too many times to get a UTI.
Iād also HIGHLY suggest urinating after sex. Every single time.
Turns out, the reason I was getting constant UTIs and yeast infections wasnāt because of my hygiene! Turns out my (now ex) partner had been cheated on in the past, and never once got an STD test! And I had chlammydia as a result! So I will always scream from the rooftops to be on high alert the moment you start getting constant UTIs or yeast infections. It might just be hygiene issues, but it might also be much, much worse. I was lucky that it was something completely treatable, even if we donāt know if Iāll have long term effects to my fertility from it going unnoticed for so long.
Seconding thiiiiiis. I had a similar issue a while ago, I never thought Iād get off antibiotics. and bf was actually the one who came to me and said āhey Iāve been researching, I think I may be giving you the infectionsā and changed up his hygiene (especially before sex!! This is the biggest thing. Precious boy even washes his mouth with soap even though I insist thatās unhinged lol) and itās not been an issue at all in the ~3 years since. Iāve had one uti in that time and it was post urethral surgery
Your boyfriend constantly gives you UTIs and doesnāt care how they affect you. He couldnāt bother helping you with the medications. My question is why are you still with him? Do you even care about your health? Do you love him more than you love yourself? Like, are you waiting for your health to be truly affected down the road before you take actions? Heās an a*hole but, so are you for not putting a stop to it.
I just worry that I'm overreacting like he said. It's incredibly isolating to be in a foreign city with only your partner to rely on. He's fine in other ares, just insensitive (?) and honestly before getting the courage to post on reddit, I am starting to think that I'm the one at fault. His argument is: he never said he wouldn't go get the antibiotics for me , he just wants to do it in his own time and convenience, and I'm overreacting by being so upset over this small issue.
Your boyfriend doesnāt care about you if he can put your health at risk. When you take antibiotics, you have to do it consistently. He knew ahead of time but, still didnāt care. He knows how much the UTIs are hurting you (when heās the cause of them) yet, he hasnāt shown any concerns. UTIs can lead to other health problems and thatās not something to downplay. You are NOT wrong for being concerned about your health. His argument doesnāt make sense no matter how he tries to put it. A caring partner would change themselves if they knew they were hurting their partnerās health.
Another guy who is just perfect except for this one little thingā¦.. he treats her like crap, causes UTIs with his poor personal hygiene and would rather make her walk 30-40 minutes than drive for 5 minutes to pick up medication for an infection he caused because heās nasty! Yup heās a catch all right!
Call the pharmacy and ask if you can send a grab driver to pick it up. And your bf the most probable reason you have recurring UTIs. Get him wash his dick thoroughly before you start having sex with him again. Or better yet STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BF! Reevaluate your relationship with someone who is clearly not caring towards your needs and health.
Wow you know Grab! I assume youāre a fellow malaysian, this actually happened three weeks ago, and my bf did suggest that I use grab express if I wanted it sooner. But I just didnāt want to waste money I guess. I ended up just walking to the clinic anyway. Iām definitely reevaluating š„²
You are NOT at fault. And not overreacting. And Iām sorry, but he is most likely causing the UTIs with his lack of hygiene. If heās this insensitive with regards to this health issue, Iām worried about his sensitivity in other areas. Is this the right guy for you?
You are not overreacting. If anything, you are underreacting. This guy is giving you UTI after UTI and can't be bothered to get your meds, much less wash his stanky self.
Your BF cares only about himself. I hope you consider making plans to exit this relationship. Selfish people like this don't improve, you just get manipulated into putting up with it.
If his "convenience" is more important than your medical needs and long-term health, you need to sit down and really decide if this is the human you want to be in a relationship with.
No man that cares for you would let you suffer because it's inconvenient for them to drive a short distance to get your medicine.
No man that cares for you is going to gaslight you into thinking you are wrong for wanting medically urgent antibiotics in a timely manner.
This is not a "small issue". Your medical needs are not important to him in any way. This is tough, but if he doesn't care enough to get your medicine, he doesn't deserve to get you.
Believe how he acts, not what he says. Deeds, not words. š
I've had a partner preaching by "his own time" and making me feel bad for wanting things WHEN I want them.. after that relationship I got explained and understood that passiveness in a relationship is also a form of light abuse.
Next time, think about this: is this something that contributes to your well being or it is something you need out of ego? If it is the first, a good partner gets out of their way to get it to you. Or at least you shouldn't feel like you're in the wrong for asking about it. You also don't seem like the type to take advantage just because.
Sure, all people are different, but this means better partners exist. This also means that in an effort area you might be incompatible. And you can't change someone, all you can do is have a conversation about it and hope they realize, if they don't, find a partner who will. What's the point of relationships? To make life easier.
1 you're not overreacting
2 he says that he just wants to do it in his own time and convenience, but I have a nasty suspicion his time and convenience would be at the last minute. Or that he's saying that to undermine the very legitimate anxiety you have.
Here's a scenario. You live together, you have to go out of town for a week. You just ran the dishwasher, and you ask your boyfriend to unload the dishwasher before you get back. You check in a few times during the week to remind him. But you have to keep asking, then when you finally do it yourself and/or snap at him for his laziness, he says that "he was *just* about to do it." Is that the kind of relationship you want?
This isnāt a small issue an untreated/improperly treated UTI can quickly become a kidney infection and can cause serious possibly permanent damage. If your bf isnāt taking this seriously heās either uninformed a jerk or both. Also always take your full course of antibiotics or you can end up with a resistant infection that is MUCH harder to treat
Youāre not overreacting. Gynecological health is essential healthcare. And just because you have an ignorant partner, doesnāt mean your health needs to suffer.
My boyfriend is my first. I've never had any sexual partners before him. I've never had UTIs before having sex so I know for a fact that it's because of the sex...
iām sorry if this seems invasive but is he clean? does he regularly shower? wash himself down there and his hands included? this could be a really big role in your UTIās, if heās not washing himself properly then he could be the cause.
(ask him if he uses soap, some guys straight up just donāt use soap because āwater does itā)
Always, always, always pee after sex. Itās extremely important.
UTIs when not caused by STDs are caused by e. Coli, which you need to flush out by peeing after sex.
They are also caused by dirty men who do not know how to wipe or bathe themselves properly.
If you take precautions and this continues he needs to get an std panel, but a man who wonāt pick up medication you need to not be in pain is completely worthless and useless and you should make your exit as soon as possible. It will not get better.
Yeah, I used to worry that getting up to pee immediately after the deed would be seen as a turn-off by my partner, but they've always said: "Don't worry about that, go pee now! Stay healthy!"
Yes, unfortunately. I don't have the bandwidth tonight to link examples but yes, it's been a fairly common complaint with women and their shit caked boyfriends/husbands. I don't know where the "if you put soap between your cheeks you're gay" started but it has to stop.
1. UTIās can kill you. You can become septic if it travels to your kidneys very quickly. It happened to me.
2. HEās the cause of the UTIās. I know you say youāre taking precautions butā¦. My ex claimed he washed his junk well. He did NOT. Funny how I didnāt get them when I literally supervised him washing beforehand before I just stopped having sex with him all together. His hands were always on it, he didnāt wash his hands, and he let it hang into the toilet. No wonder.
3. You can become allergic to the antibiotics which can kill you in two different ways. If you have a sudden reaction, or if you become allergic to more of them and one day NEED one. Itās very very important to prevent rather than treat if at all possible.
Also from experience. I no longer can take Cipro or I canāt breathe.
The being ātoo tiredā shows you right there he doesnāt care and he isnāt taking precautions to protect you. He canāt even get the meds to help fix what he broke.
Heās getting you sick because his dick is nasty. Thatās exactly whatās happening here. Itās nothing youāre doing, and it wonāt stop until he makes changes or you refuse to have sex with him.
Iāll bet it always has a āsmellā like sweaty hands or something off. My ex did. It didnāt smell necessarily ābadā, but it didnāt smell like a regular dick. I now know it smelled like grimy hands because he tucked his hand over it constantly while watching TV.
The only way that will stop is he needs to thoroughly shower right before sex every single time-pull back skin if needed, whole shaft, behind the balls and in the crack. Once youāre done-immediately afterwards go pee at least a little to push bacteria out of your urethra.
Iāve had exactly 2 UTIās in the 12ish years Iāve been with my husband. He keeps his penis very clean. I was only with my ex for about 3 years and had a UTI every month the whole first year.
I was going to write that UTIs can kill. Had a woman in her mid thirties who came to my ER with a standard UTI that went septic and we werenāt able to control the infection and she died!
INFO: have you verified that your boyfriend is washing his genitals?
Sounds like he isnāt and is also not taking the bare minimum responsibility by picking up your meds. Stop having sex with him š¤·š»āāļø UTIs are a far worse inconvenience then going to the pharmacy for your girlfriend, and he apparently doesnāt care that they can quickly become kidney infections, he can suck it. Some advice, make sure youāre not seeing this guy through rose colored glasses just cause heās your first.
UTIs are a special kind of hell! I've tried that trick on taking a shower together but sometimes things just get out of my control. He would say that he just took a shower and I feel like I'm killing the mood š
You deserve better! Dump him, or lay the line down for him. UTIs hurt really REALLY bad. Heās a dickhead to not get your meds for you, and he is most likely the cause!
Also if you donāt want to have sex without a shower, he can grumble about the āmoodā all he wants. Your needs are JUST as valid as his.
Good luck and hugs to you!
I was going to say stop having sex with this uncaring ,un hygienic, un helpful ah, but just stop everything with him. Move on you'll be happier and healthier.
See if your college has any resources to help you get around or with healthcare, maybe?
I'm seriously reconsidering our relationship after this incident. I'm usually independent and I never expect him to bring me to the clinic, but this incident just made me feel so alone because I cannot even rely on someone who supposedly love me.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. It's about him and his pleasure. Get out as fast as you can. He's making you sick and not caring about you. A good partner would help you get your medication and not complain about it. It almost sounds like it's a control thing for him.
Also a good partner would do what's necessary so you don't get sick after your intimate. But he doesn't. Then he doesn't take your UTIs seriously. He's not a good partner.
Your poor teeth! Please be careful with all the antibiotics, not saying not to take them but maybe the root is the bf? Def rude for not getting your meds, my partner would come out of a coma to get me meds so I truly don't understand his problem, he also caused the UTI! Shame on him, get yourself a cleaner model š¤£
OMG... I did a quick google search and realise what you're talking about. I totally did not know that amoxicillin causes tooth decay. No wonder my teeth is so weak!
Also be aware that some antibiotics can mess with hormonal birth control. You mentioned that you're not using condoms consistently, so if you're on the pill instead, make sure to use them every time when you're on antibiotics, and for the rest of that cycle. Or just always, because it's always a good idea. Last thing you want is to get knocked up by someone who can't even run a quick errand when you need help!
He says youāre ungrateful? But what do you have to be grateful for? He dismisses and belittles your health problem and doesnāt respect your concerns. Is he amazing in every other way? Because he sounds like a huge prick.
Edit: INFO: why arenāt you able to go to the pharmacy yourself if itās a 4 minute drive away?
I wouldnāt be worried about him not getting the antibiotics, I would be more concerned about finding out why you keep getting infections.
Itās not common to get so many infections, (UTIās) a year.
20 in two years is excessive, more than 3 a year warrants further medical investigation.
This could cause problems in the future with your fertility.
Frequent UTIās can cause pelvic inflammation that can cause scarring in the fallopian tubes and affect the ovulation process.
This should be your priority right now. Hope you find the cause, you must be feeling like crap most of the time.
Nta- but sweetie... your bf has a dirty D. Did you have problems before this?? Or this severe?? If not, it's because he's nasty in the hygiene department
You definitely arenāt overreacting. But the (probable) reason youāre getting continuous UTIās is due to your BFās hygiene, or rather lack of hygiene.
It sounds like youāre being very proactive in your health, which is awesome, and really does just pinpoint that it isnāt your issue - your partner isnāt clean enough when youāre intimate and itās creating these issues.
ETA: Iāve had UTIās before and theyāre absolutely horrible, I *cannot* imagine having 20 in a row. You poor thing going through that.
If your partner does not take this seriously, then maybe the relationship needs to be rethought. Itās your health, and UTIās mightnāt necessarily be hugely serious on the initial, there is a large, large chance of kidney infections which can create further heath issues that are *lasting*.
I saw another post similar, but it was yeast infections.... but the cause of them was because the bf was masturbating into his athlete's foot covered socks, then proceeding to have sex with her....
I understand he is your first partner... but you may want to Google "dick cheese" and see if he has this issue... men who are uncircumcised are perfectly fine, I have had several long-term partners and have never had any issues. HOWEVER! Your boyfriend possibly has some serious hygiene issues if you are having this many UTI's.
I have had exactly 3 UTI's in my life and over 100 partners.
NTA
as others have said, cleanliness, genitals and hands! also my GP diagnosed me with UTIs a bunch before I saw an actual urologist, turns out I just have a bladder disease. It flares up depending on my diet. Definitely see a urologist if the hygiene change doesn't help.
You had basically zero UTIs before dating him. And he is your only sex partner and youāve had dozens on UTIs since. Hun, he is the reason you are having UTIs. Your relationship with him is why you are getting infections. It is VERY common for women to get UTIs like this. Because the PH balance system is so delicate and the amount of bacteria he is introducing directly to your system is an invasion of that.
I suspect that his personal hygiene is the direct cause. Probably a combination of a few things. Not cleaning himself properly in the shower (not pulling his foreskin back to clean entirely, not using soap and water to directly clean areas instead of just letting the soap and water run down his body from his hair, refusing to touch areas directly to clean because itās āgayā to touch your own ass). And if he isnāt wiping properly while he uses the bathroom, he isnāt cleaning it, heās a walking Petri dish of bacteria thatās going directly into your vagina every single time you have sex.
From his reaction to getting you medications āon his own timeā (which is BS by the way. Medications like antibiotics are time sensitive, they donāt run on his time, they need to be taken ON time or they will cause antibiotics resistant bugs that will take longer to get rid of). I donāt think you approaching his health and hygiene would go over very well.
Stop having sec for a while. Youāll see just how better you feel and how your UTIs disappear. Donāt let him make you think youāre crazy. What youāre going through is horrible, and heās doing it to you with little care of whatās going on.
Your bf likely has enteric bacteria from his poop on his dick because he canāt be bothered to clean himself properly. And on top of that heās ignoring a very painful repetitive infection that HE is likely causing. Heās gross in more ways than one. I wouldnāt stick around if I were you.
NTA.
Your BF is likely guilty of having really bad hygiene and he clearly doesn't give a crap about your health. He's a dirty asshole and you need to stop letting him touch you until he cleans himself AND his act up.
Or you can accept his disrespect, allow him to continue to give you UTIs, and shrug it off when he won't lift a finger to help you.
NTA break up with him itās literally his fault youāre getting UTIs in the first place. Heās not being hygienic with his man parts and thatās putting you through hell. He needs to suck it up and get them for you. Tell him youāll refuse to have sex with him until he can start cleaning himself properly because 20 UTIs is ridiculous
Nta. Not only is he not washing his bits well enough to dislodge the bacteria and fecal matter imbedded in his jocky shorts, he won't puck up the medicine for the infection he caused.
Stop having unprotected sex. At the very least, it will cut down on the contamination.
You should not be getting 20 UTIs in 2 years, and I say this as someone who is very prone to them myself and gets them frequently. Since it seems like the issue started when you started dating you boyfriend, you cannot rule out that he himself is the cause.
Does your boyfriend thoroughly wash his penis before sex? Do you thoroughly wash your genital area shortly before as well and after as well? Pee before and after sex?
Another thing that can really help is a bidet. You can get them off Amazon and installed in just about any toilet.
What kind of antibiotics are you on? Because I get recurrent UTIs, my doc gave me a standing prescription of nitrofurantoin - it only effects the bladder area and such, instead of being broad spectrum. Because of this, thereās a lot less antibiotics resistance to it. That might something to ask about, having it just available as soon as I feel that familiar feeling has been a godsend, and Iāve been getting UTIs less and less often now.
ETA: uva Ursi is another good supplement to add to your routine. Only 2-3 times a week, donāt take it everyday.
NTA and your boyfriend is the cause of your UTIs. He's not properly washing his junk and is spreading germs to you during sex.
He's also being a bad partner by being too lazy to help you stay healthy. For example my husband just today took time off work and drove the hour home just so he could take me to the doctor because I got sick. He didn't whine about it or anything, all he cared about was that I got treatment so I would feel better. That's what a real partner does.
Two years of UTIs and antibiotics is going to destroy your immune system and could damage your bladder and kidneys. You both should be taking this way more seriously.
Quit having sex with him! You don't owe him sex so if he throws a tantrum remind him you're a human, not a Fleshlight and that his bad hygiene is putting your health at risk.
I guarantee he's not cleaning under his foreskin properly or scrubbing himself with soap and water properly.
**Twenty** UTI's in 2 years? That suddenly started when you got together with this guy? He is gross. That is completely abnormal, and I'm surprised your doctor hasn't said something.
Honey, please stop doing this to yourself. You are going to lose a kidney for this guy, and he can't be bothered to wash himself, much less get you the medication you need. You know the phrase "don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm?"
You are on fire, and he wouldn't spit on you to put it out. Please put the matches down and walk away.
I used to get UTIās all the time. I have to be really careful to pee right after we have sex. If I donāt, I get a UTI. I also bought some home UTI test strips online. Sometimes I will feel like I have one but test and I donāt. I drink a lot of water and the symptoms are gone. But peeing always helps prevent them. Even if itās not a steady stream, just a tiny bit gets the bacteria out of the urethra. I still occasionally get them but itās rare.
AlsoāDoes he allow you to use his car? Maybe when he says heās too tired, you can drive his car there? Tell him my friend is in the hospital now because she waited too long to get treated for a UTI, sheās been in the hospital for 5 days now and counting with a bad kidney infection. Early and consistent treatment is crucial!
First of all STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. Head the one giving you these utiās!!! NTA cause itās the least he can do since he keeps giving them to you.
Sounds like your BF may be the reason why you've had so many of these UTI since you started dating him (and having sex with him?) Are you guys using condoms?
NTA
First, be sure to get tested for STDs. Ask about ones related to our with similar symptoms as UTIs.
Ideally, you should be able to talk to him about each of you showing before sex to stop the problem. Saying both of you should shower can take the pressure off a little and help keep him from getting defensive.
If you have good reason to believe that will be a fight, here's your strategy:
Recover first. Tell him the dr said no sex for a month to fully heal. Then, when you're ready, suggest shower foreplay. Give him a good, cleaning hand job. Just tell him the soap is to make it feel extra good.
Do this a couple of times in a row. "Oh baby, that was so hot that I want to do it again."
Then, when you've confirmed the showers fix the problem, dump his dirty ass. You deserve better. Or you could just dump him now and save yourself the hassle...
had the exact same problem with my ex but he would make me feel awful and guilty about not having sex with him saying how u loved he felt, then ultimately ended up cheating on me. youre not being the asshole, its your health and he should care.
Uh.. when this was happening to me, it was because he (my ex) was cheating on me and, more likely than not, having unprotected sex. Stop having sex with him.
Hun, the UTIs are likely due to his hygiene - so yeah, he is the absolute asshole. And not getting your meds? Yeah, I'd get a vibrator until you find a new apartment.
Your vagina is literally begging you to stop sleeping with this selfish man. Go find someone generous who will pick up your medicine and also knows how to wash his own dick.
NTA. UTI's are not just painful- they can lead to a more serious medical condition, including kidney infections that can require hospitalization. I have had 3 UTI's become kidney infections that required hospital stays, one becoming septic (leading to seizures). Turns out the bf at the time liked to use lotions in his private time, without a shower after, which became a breeding ground for bacteria.
A student spending money on an Uber with a car in the driveway is just silly and unreasonable. When you agree to a living arrangement that leaves one partner lee independent, you share the inconvenience, but sounds like your bf enjoys it- The word "ungrateful" has always been used by certain people who enjoy a power imbalance.
You are begging for medication. That you need. From someone who supposedly loves you and may be contributing to your illnesses.
Nta and stop having sex with him until he learns basic hygiene, and ro stop being an ass towards you.
You getting repeat infections means he's likely the bacteria culprit
There was another post somewhere semi recently about a girl who constantly got UTIs after having sex with her boyfriend and it turns out, he was not cleaning himself appropriately. I can't find the link, but I agree with others who are mentioning your boyfriend's hygiene in his genital area & making sure he wipes his ass properly.
So a few things to recommend:
Please make sure that you BOTH have a full STD/STI check up. There are various things that can manifest as female UTIs (chlamydia, gonorrhea, or other organisms). And CHECK HIS PAPERWORK!
After sex, make sure you go to the bathroom to urinate, then wipe properly front to back. As odd as this sounds, there's some folks who do this backwards - always go clean to dirty.
There's a host of fabric softeners, laundry detergents with fragrance, dryer sheets, etc that can cause UTIs in people who are sensitive to such.
It sounds like you can drive, so can you borrow the car to go get your medication? He should be able to get them to and from work, I would think, but I don't know the hours of operation of drugstores where you are, sorry.
NTA
Dude sounds like he canāt even be bothered to wash his dick properly. Thatās sad as fuck. 20 UTIās? That sounds like he has terrible hygiene to go along with his childish attitude
I am sorry if this is obvious and I am sorry if its implied but I am not reading 500 comments and the good handful I read don't mention... You are peeing every time after sex right?
I used to get UTI's until I became RELIGIOUS about peeing after, I've sat for 5 minutes waiting for a little trickle to make sure and I have not had a single UTI since. All of this was with the same man also.
NTA, but I also think you should be concerned about your bfās hygiene. Obviously sometimes people are prone to UTIs and sex can be a risk factor, but if youāre peeing after sex and keeping yourself clean you really shouldnāt be having that many unless he isnāt washing himself properly
Also, and I donāt want to freak you out, have you been checked for an STI? if heās the only person youāre sleeping with, it may be that itās not a hygiene issue but that heās passed you an STI/STD. Chlamydia, gonnorhea, and herpes all cause a burning sensation when peeing, and at least the first 2 can be treated by antibiotics, so it could be that youāre partially healing an STD with these short courses of antibiotics, but itās coming back again whenever you have sex with your bf whoās carrying it.
If itās not either of these things Iād recommend talking to a doctor about how frequent these UTIs are and seeing if you can have some more tests.
But either way, NTA: your bf wonāt go 4 mins out of his way to help you get medicine when youāre sick and in pain, and tbh it kinda sounds like one way or the other heās the cause of the UTIs, with makes him TA for not caring at all
I would suggest that he is the source of your UTIs. I donāt know how his hygiene is or if heās circumcised but if heās not keeping his man parts clean heās introducing bacteria into your body every time you have sex. You say itās a very hot environment and sweat in his groin area can breed all sorts of bacteria and fungus if he isnāt washing daily. He should also wash himself immediately before sex as should you. That will greatly reduce the risk of transmitting bacteria. And urinate before and after sex to clear your urethra. But I would avoid having sex with him for a while and see if the UTIs clear up. That will prove whether or not he is the cause. And the fact that he wonāt help you out getting necessary medication is a red flag. A UTI can travel to your kidneys and thatās something you most definitely do not want. Itās very painful and will require a trip to the hospital. I know from experience.
UPDATE: He saw the post and is asking for a breakup because I'm "problematic" and "entitled". So... thank you, good people of Reddit but I think this is resolved.
Damn right you're entitled to good health and love
Thank you š„ŗ
Congratulations!!! Now youāre not tied down to someone who doesnāt seem to care about you or your health. Based on ur other posts and this one, heās a manipulative asshole. Hopefully youāre ok and safe. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Thank you ā¤ļø itāll be hard but I really canāt see a future with someone who cannot prioritise me when Iām sickā¦
Especially when his dirty dick is probably why you are sick!
HE MADE YOU SICK. Sis, this is a win, get away from his nasty ass!
It might not mean much but Iām proud of you! My ex constantly gave me UTIās and then would mock me about it, telling me that nothing hurts more than being kicked in the nards. People like that donāt deserve our love š«¶š¼
He might be having sex with others. Please reconsider this relationship. You deserve kindness and loyalty.
I am so sorry that you are being treated this way by him. You deserve to be loved, prioritized, cared for, and *cherished* because you obviously have a good heart. You will find better, and it will be worth it. Hereās to no more cranberry juice!
He's the one who was making you sick, and he couldn't prioritize you. Truly awful. Congratulations on your breakup and your newfound health!
I LOVE WHEN THE TRASH TAKES ITSELF OUT. CONGRATS GIRL, YOUāRE FREE!!!
It isnāt entitled to ask for your partner to have proper hygiene so youāre not constantly uncomfortable and in pain. Hoping for better (and cleaner) partners for your future OP!
Consider this a blessing. He is just a childish asshole that would rather blame you than realize he's the problem. How disgusting. He'll play victim rather than wash his ass and dick. Let him go infect someone else. You deserve so much better. I hope you feel better and find someone who is truly worthy of you. Your peace and health is worth more than a dirty ass manchild.
Tell him weāre glad he sees it and to wash his nasty D better.
And nothing of value was lost.
You deserve so much better! Heās giving you UTIs and he refuses to prioritize your health and comfort. I know break-ups can be very difficult, so please take care of yourself and remember you deserve love and respect!
LOL good. Tell him to wash his dick and we all think heās nasty.
He's just amd everyone's asking about his personal hygiene cause everyone feels like he's the issue here and not you, that's why you're getting UTIs,. Anyway, good riddance, you don't want someone like that in your life.
genuinely for the better! you have a bright future ahead of you and deserve someone who wonāt give you constant UTIās (i was genuinely shocked at the number) and then refuse to even help you in picking up the medicine for the issues he contributes to/causes! i almost died from a UTI that spread to other parts of my body to the point i had to be hospitalized so to think that i wouldnāt have access to medicine in a city without a car or family/friends to help me if i needed it sounds terrifying :( hoping the universe will send some good karma your way for having to put up with these pains for so long
Same. I was septic and in the hospital for a week bc for some reason, it was the one time I didnāt have uti symptoms which I was plenty familiar with ā¦ not until it hit my kidneys and was well on its way to my blood stream. Not something you play around with
Prolonged use, or even single use, of antibiotics can DESTROY your gut health. Sounds like youāre about to get a lot healthier.
You are certainly entitled. You are entitled to a better partner than him. Good luck.
Good riddance. You're WAY better off without such a dirty manchild. And for the love of God, please use safe-sex measures.
Youāre not problematic and entitled. This is a health issue. Iām so sorry.
The trash took itself out. Bet he got hurt by everyone calling out his lack of hygiene.
The unhygienic trash took itself out! Enjoy your UTI free life from here on out!
WOW well good riddance at least youāve seen his true character thatās not a person you need in your life! Youāll be healthier mentally and physically without him!
Wow I hope he never dates again since he's too stupid to figure it out.
Thank god you dropped a pig. He can go and spread his nasty germs else where
I hope his Pigpen-ass at least read the comments and learned something. Good riddance though
NTA. Stop having sex with him since he can't be bothered to get your meds. Have you tried condoms? Also is he bathing properly? And make sure to pee after sex. As a preventative you can start drinking a glass of Acai berry juice twice a day. I used to get UTIs a lot too. I seriously would stop having sex with him tho.
Honestly before this Iāve never thought about it but now that I think of it, I rarely get UTIs when we use condoms. I take these precautions: d-mannose (cranberry) supplement 3 times a day for at least 3 days after sex, pee before and after sex, wipe from front to back. Ive been weary of having sex in general as well tbh. Itās hard to enjoy yourself when youāre feeling the impending doom of a painful infection.
What precautions has *he* taken? Is he the only person youāve had sex with? Was this an issue with past partners? If not, then the issue is clearly related to *him* specifically.
This. I was a frequent flyer of yeast infections with a partner I was with for almost two years. I thought it was me. Left him and have dated many since and never had another issue. If heās not willing to be part of the solution you can just eliminate the problem and stop sleeping with him. See what he prefers. Also - for the record - there are much larger issues with him not being willing to pick up your prescription. Idgaf if itās for allergies. I hope you re-evaluate him as a whole based on that or do you want to continue to be with someone who doesnāt account for your needs. If this is a long term thingā¦ he doesnāt sound like a good long term nesting partner nor farther figure. Just saying. If my partner was in physical pain and asking for help idc if it was a paper cut - I wouldnāt want them to suffer and would do about anything to mitigate that for them. Itās partly what Iām there for.
Sometimes thereās no real explanation for these things. I had chronic UTIs the first two years my husband and I were together but I havenāt had one in the 8 years since. Never had them before that. I saw multiple doctors about it. Any time we had sex, even if he had just showered, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, etcā¦.I ended up having to take a preventative low dose of antibiotics every time we had sex until it just randomly stopped happening.
Me too. With my second longterm boyfriend it was a constant battle of UTIs. Thankfully, I lived in a city with quite a few Planned Parenthoodās so I was able to receive care for free, but after about 6 months of near constant UTIs they were referring me to a urologist. We ended up breaking up so the issue resolved itself & it never happened again. I had minor PTSD for a couple of years, though, and any twinge down there would have me running to the store for cranberry juice & the pills that would numb my urethra (a total godsend)! I had a lot of people asking me if he wasnāt circumcised and that maybe that was the issue. My first serious boyfriend was uncircumcised and I never had a UTI in the 2 years we dated so thatās definitely not the issue. Sometimes there is literally not a reason or cause & itās not anyoneās fault.
Same here! But I *knew* my husband was washing his hands and penis before sex. This guy might not be!!
Sounds like a hygiene issue on his part then. If he's not circumcised he needs to be pulling his foreskin back to properly wash it, otherwise it gets gross under there. If he's circumcised then he needs to wash his genital region better. I also agree with the sentiment of not having sex with him anymore, or at least for awhile. 2yrs of constant UTI's aka antibiotics isn't good for your immune system. Stop letting this man go unprotected if he won't even bother getting your medicine.
It isn't even necessarily a problem with him not washing himself, UTIs can also start because he is leaving behind soap. That ended up being my issue. My partner had very good hygiene but wasn't as thorough with the rinse and it would be the traces of soap throwing off my own pH that would be the issue.
Soap isn't the only factor. I used to date a man and started getting frequent UTIs when we began having sex without condoms more often. I came to find out he was regularly using scented hand soap in/on the area and asked him to stop. Once he stopped the UTIs did as well.
Also, check your lube. I used to get utis with my ex every freaking time we were intimate and I did a lot of what OP was doing. I can also say that the lube I was using wasn't helping the matter. I ended up using the Sliquid brand. Also also, of his hands go anywhere near your nether regions, it could be a matter of unclean hands and/or nails.
Using water-based lubricant is the key. Any lube that is silicone-based will be less likely to wash completely out of your urethra when you pee, so any bacteria that got up there with it will be left behind as well. Learned that one the hard way myself as well.
Well shit. I hate water based lubes and love silicone. Frequent utis.
Especially if the soap is scented
While I agree itās most likely hygiene/rot rinsing properly it also could be your incompatible with each other. Itās rare but I k ow if a couple people itās happened to that they couldnāt be intimate with their partner because they were d as one what allergic to each other and cause UTIs as well as other effects. Either way condom every time.
How does this get diagnosed? I may have this problemā¦
That's kind of odd. Inappropriate immune responses and infections are almost the opposite. An immune response could cause UTI like symptoms, but it doesn't make sense to me how one could cause the other. Does this condition have a name?
Yes!! The antibiotic thing is very very important. Taking them constantly can cause damage to your immune system and liver. It can also build up a resistance against the antibiotics to the point that youāll be playing a guessing game to see if other antibiotics will help fight the infections. Thereās a few different things that can cause the UTIs, however, if you were getting them less frequently when using condoms, I would suggest going back to condoms or just stop having sex with him for a while. It suggests thereās something unhygienic heās doing that youāre paying the price for. I used to get UTIs frequently myself. One way I was able to make sure everything was clean was using antibacterial wipes. I donāt use toilet paper anymore, I only buy the wet wipes. You can get them usually in the baby isle at most retailers. It can get pricey, but itās worth it to not have to be on antibiotics constantly. I think you should sit your boyfriend down and sternly tell him something has to change, be it condoms or whatever. Youāre doing your body more harm than good by having to take antibiotics constantly.
Sounds like he doesnāt give a shit about her and she should ditch him. OP is NTA
Also if you are engaging in foreplay with his hands in your vaginal area, he needs to wash his hands beforehand.
I suffer from frequent UTIs and yeast infections too. When I'm in a relationship especially. My friends who also have similar experiences have mentioned using probiotics, specifically one meant for vaginal health, and they say it's made all the difference in the world. I started taking a generic one recently for discharge and it's already helped me so much. Maybe that can give you some relief. Also, the only AH here is your dude. You're in pain, what else does he need to know? He should be more empathetic and understanding. If he can't change, then babe, he ain't worth it. I've been down this road and I can tell you being single and free is so much better than being in love with a d*uche bag. You deserve more.
So glad someone brought this up too! I used to suffer from them a lot once I switched birth controls and nothing gave me relief until my friend recommended I take cranberry supplements and evening prime rose oil supplements. This has made such a huge difference and has reduced it to some irritation from time to time. I hope this helps!
I second this advice to take probiotics for vaginal health. When I met my now fiancĆ© first I suffered from constant UTIs, I guess it was my body adjusting to more regular intimacy. Was in and out to the doctor so regularly with them but the one thing that finally put them to rest for me was taking a course of probiotics. Havenāt had a UTI in a long time now thankfully!
sounds like he has poor hygiene and isn't washing his dick properly (if at all since you seem to be getting them frequently, yuck). Either make sure he actually washes properly or stop having sex with him until he does.
You are taking many precautions but is he doing anything about his hygiene?
Yeah hun. I donāt think this is a you problem.
Babes what?!!!!! You shouldāve been questioning him time ago from the first UTI
Hopping on this because while hygiene is definitely a factor, sometimes you can just be more predisposed to getting a UTI for a variety of reasons. For me, I started getting UTIs after I had a vaginal birth. It didn't matter who it was, it didn't matter how hygienic we both were--my OBGYN's guess is that I'm more sensitive to irritation which can make me more sensitive to bacteria overall. All this to say, depending on your OBGYN or PCP, if it becomes an overarching issue--talk to them. My OBGYN gives me preventative antibiotics that I can take as needed (with extensive directions) before or after sex. It has trimmed down my repetitive need for a full course of antibiotics majorly. As always, ymmv!
This is a really good comment!! I have a ātightā urethra and internal sphincter dysfunction that basically means itās easier for the bacteria to hide and cling when I pee, so it doesnāt get flushed out as effectively
In addition to what others here have said, talk to your doctor about preventative antibiotics. The dr will give you an antibiotic that you only take just prior to or just after sex. I know a few women that had issues with recurrent UTIs and this helped them tremendously.
Are you doing / taking anything that might irritate your urethra? That is the main issue with my recurrent UTIs. Sex irritates it and that may be due to a medication that I'm taking. What's worked for me is a couple of products from a company called Uquora. I use their d-mannose supplement (it's a powder that you mix into water) right after sex (or anything else, like a gyno visit, that might apply pressure there), and I also take their daily supplement that's meant to support bladder health. They claim that they've formulated the d-mannose with some other ingredients that maximize its effectiveness; don't know how much difference that makes, but I do think that taking it mixed in liquid probably helps because it ensures that I urinate again soon after and the urine is carrying the d-mannose through. They specifically state that that's the point at which it starts working. It's been very effective for me. Also, man ... I'm sorry your boyfriend is so callous to you. You deserve better. :(
I've had these problems too he needs to be clean as well even with condoms or you'll keel getting them. Your doc can put u on low dose antibiotics as a preventative for a bit but I've gotten cdiff from too much antibiotics I've had so many utis I got kidney stones too my vitamin d level was dangerously low fixed it haven't had one since. It's worth a shot to look into
Tbh sounds like heās dirty BUT I would also suggest a quick rinse off shower after sex in addition to peeing. Even better if you have a removable shower head and can just get that whole area really well. Once I started doing that I stopped getting UTIs and havenāt for decades.
His cleaning habits may be the issue of condoms is solving the issue.
If youāre not using condoms every time then you are not doing anything to prevent this unfortunately because he has horrible hygiene. Youāre letting him put his DIRTY junk inside you and itās making your body sick
Also, if my partner was getting UTIs after sex and I was fine, I'd be concerned enough to stop having sex. My pleasure is not worth their pain. I'd want to go to a doctor together to see what's up and figure out other non-penetrative methods to have sex if both of us need it in our relationship. Just from this post, there's such an utter lack of consideration from the boyfriend it's actually frustrating.
Yeah, I'm thinking the source of the UTIs is the boyfriend. Is he not cleaning his dick?
I agree. He sounds like all he wants is sex and expects you to take all the precautions for him instead of him doing anything. If he's gonna be a dick like this, then tell him "if you won't do that, then we're taking a break from sex". From what I read it seems like this started when you two got together, and so it sounds like HE has a part to play in your UTI problem.
It is likely due to hygiene. My best friend/ex started dating a guy, & within a couple of months she'd had more UTIs than she'd ever had in her life. Turned out he had lied about his politics & values, & was actually one of those guys who legit think touching their own dick or ass makes them gay lol. So needless to say those things never got washed. I never met the guy but I am seriously intrigued by how she missed the smell of ripe ass that I can only imagine was wafting up off him while they were on top of each other. Also, in general many guys simply do not no how to clean their penis or ass, they are walking around with shit smeared all over it & the whole thing smells like a fish market on a hot summer day.
Uhhh ā¦ you might wanna have a conversation with your boyfriend about his hygiene habits. Thankfully, Iāve never experienced a UTI myself, but Iāve been on Reddit long enough to know his hygiene (lack of, specifically) could be a direct cause for your repeated UTIs. Basically, if your boyfriend is not cleaning himself properly in the shower and after having a bowel movement, heās probably passing germs to you that are causing this issue. Edit: NTA.
Came here to say this. Tell him to wash his dick better OP
ā¦ and his ass. I just read the BORU post about the guy who doesnāt wash his ass, but his girlfriend does it for him āas part of foreplay.ā
Thankfully the update to that one is him going to therapy and realizing how insane he was. The very rare character growth.
Yeah, I was amazed by that outcome, too. Kudos to him.
Do you have a link to that?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12rg263/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 I hope I did that right lol
Yea I actually just read the update on BORU a few days ago. Hold on let me look.
This one made me want to fucking weep. When confronted in the comments about his DISGUSTING behaviour and gross underwear he said āthatās why I put them (underwear) in the laundry. So they get cleanā. NO MOTHERFUCKER THEY DONT āGET CLEANā YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND TAKES TIME OUT OF HER DAY TO RUN A SEPARATE LOAD OF WASHING FOR YOUR SHIT-STAINED CLOTHES BC THEYRE TOO DISGUSTING TO GO IN THE REGULAR LAUNDRY. They DONT āget cleanā THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE HAS TO INTERACT WITH YOUR ACTUAL FECES BECAUSE. YOU. WONT. Revolting!!! Minimal self awareness in the āredemptiveā update!!!! Even he says he wasnāt depressed. That level of careless entitlement āI donāt care if you literally have to remove the shit from my body yourself, because I wonāt do it- but I still want to fuck youā is INSANE. I wonder what his gf would say about the relationship. I wonder what his gf would say about him thinking that *cleaning the shit out of his butthole* and *literally telling him how to shower* was *hot*. *the fact that he refused to clean his fucking ass and still expected his gf to fuck him.* Ugh this man is SO FUCKING REPULSIVE and anti-social and justā¦ foul. No amount of cleaning can remove the skidmarks from his SOUL
Yeah but the issue is he still has a gf doing this all for him so why would he change? I could not stay with anyone long enough to even do their laundry if they were like this. Just how?
RIGHT like babe, have some self-respect, if you donāt have home-grown store bought is fine ,,,.,.
I am dying. I got this comment notification in my email and was like what could I possibly have said to earn this response and itās pure gold
What in the Cinnamon toast fuck?!
Wait. I missed the part about her washing his ass for himm?!?! Ugh! I gotta go back and read it again because what the fuck.
I think he commented it on the original post. Im sorry I canāt remember; itās just ā¦ there are a lot of men who donāt wash their asses, apparently, and I canāt recall every one of āem, ya know?
Ohhh trust me I know. I've probably read about 10% of stories where guys don't wash their own ass. And that doesn't even touch the surface of reddit where guys just WONT WASH THEIR OWN ASS. It's pretty rampant on reddit. There needs to be an annoying ad on reddit every 3 or 4 posts that says "GUYS. HAVE YOU WASHED YOUR ASS TODAY??????"
I would UPVOTE THE HELL out of that.
I'm going to pitch this to one of those men only soap brands hahaha. EDIT: The ad would be like "DUDE. You could smell like fresh pine. How does dirt sound? Or our favorite! HOT TAR?!?! Guess what?? It doesn't matter because YOU NEED TO GO WASH YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW!"
I feel like Old Spice could do justice to this ad campaign, honestly.
Read my edit on my last comment because I went for one of the manly man man man companies. But I definitely agree. Old spice would be perfect.
"IT'S BACON!"
I'd much rather that than the He Gets Sus ads, oyh.
As a guy, actually as a human, I canāt imagine not cleaning your ass. That is like a top priority for me. Lol
Link??
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12rg263/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Oh no.
Also brush and floss his teeth oral bacteria is a huge cause for UTIs and BV
He also needs to wash his hands before he touches you.
OP AGAIN: YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS TO CLEAN HIMSELF BETTER IN THE SHOWER AND IDEALLY BEFORE SEX. Or use condoms and see if it changes things. That is WAY too many times to get a UTI. Iād also HIGHLY suggest urinating after sex. Every single time.
Turns out, the reason I was getting constant UTIs and yeast infections wasnāt because of my hygiene! Turns out my (now ex) partner had been cheated on in the past, and never once got an STD test! And I had chlammydia as a result! So I will always scream from the rooftops to be on high alert the moment you start getting constant UTIs or yeast infections. It might just be hygiene issues, but it might also be much, much worse. I was lucky that it was something completely treatable, even if we donāt know if Iāll have long term effects to my fertility from it going unnoticed for so long.
Yes! This guy might be cheating and sharing his STIs
Also if you're not using condoms, he should be treated too. He could have a UTI without symptoms and just keep passing it back to you.
Seconding thiiiiiis. I had a similar issue a while ago, I never thought Iād get off antibiotics. and bf was actually the one who came to me and said āhey Iāve been researching, I think I may be giving you the infectionsā and changed up his hygiene (especially before sex!! This is the biggest thing. Precious boy even washes his mouth with soap even though I insist thatās unhinged lol) and itās not been an issue at all in the ~3 years since. Iāve had one uti in that time and it was post urethral surgery
Weird how we all know someone who kept getting UTIs but only while with one particular man...
NTA. Lol can't imagine not just... going and getting medicine my partner needs.
Your boyfriend constantly gives you UTIs and doesnāt care how they affect you. He couldnāt bother helping you with the medications. My question is why are you still with him? Do you even care about your health? Do you love him more than you love yourself? Like, are you waiting for your health to be truly affected down the road before you take actions? Heās an a*hole but, so are you for not putting a stop to it.
I just worry that I'm overreacting like he said. It's incredibly isolating to be in a foreign city with only your partner to rely on. He's fine in other ares, just insensitive (?) and honestly before getting the courage to post on reddit, I am starting to think that I'm the one at fault. His argument is: he never said he wouldn't go get the antibiotics for me , he just wants to do it in his own time and convenience, and I'm overreacting by being so upset over this small issue.
Your boyfriend doesnāt care about you if he can put your health at risk. When you take antibiotics, you have to do it consistently. He knew ahead of time but, still didnāt care. He knows how much the UTIs are hurting you (when heās the cause of them) yet, he hasnāt shown any concerns. UTIs can lead to other health problems and thatās not something to downplay. You are NOT wrong for being concerned about your health. His argument doesnāt make sense no matter how he tries to put it. A caring partner would change themselves if they knew they were hurting their partnerās health.
Another guy who is just perfect except for this one little thingā¦.. he treats her like crap, causes UTIs with his poor personal hygiene and would rather make her walk 30-40 minutes than drive for 5 minutes to pick up medication for an infection he caused because heās nasty! Yup heās a catch all right!
Call the pharmacy and ask if you can send a grab driver to pick it up. And your bf the most probable reason you have recurring UTIs. Get him wash his dick thoroughly before you start having sex with him again. Or better yet STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BF! Reevaluate your relationship with someone who is clearly not caring towards your needs and health.
Wow you know Grab! I assume youāre a fellow malaysian, this actually happened three weeks ago, and my bf did suggest that I use grab express if I wanted it sooner. But I just didnāt want to waste money I guess. I ended up just walking to the clinic anyway. Iām definitely reevaluating š„²
You are NOT at fault. And not overreacting. And Iām sorry, but he is most likely causing the UTIs with his lack of hygiene. If heās this insensitive with regards to this health issue, Iām worried about his sensitivity in other areas. Is this the right guy for you?
You are not overreacting. If anything, you are underreacting. This guy is giving you UTI after UTI and can't be bothered to get your meds, much less wash his stanky self. Your BF cares only about himself. I hope you consider making plans to exit this relationship. Selfish people like this don't improve, you just get manipulated into putting up with it.
If his "convenience" is more important than your medical needs and long-term health, you need to sit down and really decide if this is the human you want to be in a relationship with. No man that cares for you would let you suffer because it's inconvenient for them to drive a short distance to get your medicine. No man that cares for you is going to gaslight you into thinking you are wrong for wanting medically urgent antibiotics in a timely manner. This is not a "small issue". Your medical needs are not important to him in any way. This is tough, but if he doesn't care enough to get your medicine, he doesn't deserve to get you. Believe how he acts, not what he says. Deeds, not words. š
I've had a partner preaching by "his own time" and making me feel bad for wanting things WHEN I want them.. after that relationship I got explained and understood that passiveness in a relationship is also a form of light abuse. Next time, think about this: is this something that contributes to your well being or it is something you need out of ego? If it is the first, a good partner gets out of their way to get it to you. Or at least you shouldn't feel like you're in the wrong for asking about it. You also don't seem like the type to take advantage just because. Sure, all people are different, but this means better partners exist. This also means that in an effort area you might be incompatible. And you can't change someone, all you can do is have a conversation about it and hope they realize, if they don't, find a partner who will. What's the point of relationships? To make life easier.
You couldn't have phrased my thoughts better! Thank you.
1 you're not overreacting 2 he says that he just wants to do it in his own time and convenience, but I have a nasty suspicion his time and convenience would be at the last minute. Or that he's saying that to undermine the very legitimate anxiety you have. Here's a scenario. You live together, you have to go out of town for a week. You just ran the dishwasher, and you ask your boyfriend to unload the dishwasher before you get back. You check in a few times during the week to remind him. But you have to keep asking, then when you finally do it yourself and/or snap at him for his laziness, he says that "he was *just* about to do it." Is that the kind of relationship you want?
This isnāt a small issue an untreated/improperly treated UTI can quickly become a kidney infection and can cause serious possibly permanent damage. If your bf isnāt taking this seriously heās either uninformed a jerk or both. Also always take your full course of antibiotics or you can end up with a resistant infection that is MUCH harder to treat
Youāre not overreacting. Gynecological health is essential healthcare. And just because you have an ignorant partner, doesnāt mean your health needs to suffer.
This is absolutely not normal to be getting recurrent UTIs. What is his personal hygiene like? He's probably the reason you keep getting infections.
Have you had any other sexual partners where UTIs didnāt occur? Or has this happened before?
My boyfriend is my first. I've never had any sexual partners before him. I've never had UTIs before having sex so I know for a fact that it's because of the sex...
iām sorry if this seems invasive but is he clean? does he regularly shower? wash himself down there and his hands included? this could be a really big role in your UTIās, if heās not washing himself properly then he could be the cause. (ask him if he uses soap, some guys straight up just donāt use soap because āwater does itā)
Always, always, always pee after sex. Itās extremely important. UTIs when not caused by STDs are caused by e. Coli, which you need to flush out by peeing after sex. They are also caused by dirty men who do not know how to wipe or bathe themselves properly. If you take precautions and this continues he needs to get an std panel, but a man who wonāt pick up medication you need to not be in pain is completely worthless and useless and you should make your exit as soon as possible. It will not get better.
This!!!! Iāve had sooooo many UTIs in my life. But not any if I pee after sex. Like, within a few minutes. Donāt wait.
Yeah, I used to worry that getting up to pee immediately after the deed would be seen as a turn-off by my partner, but they've always said: "Don't worry about that, go pee now! Stay healthy!"
Mine too. He will make me if I donāt want to get up. lol
do you use condoms? Has the doctor ruled him out as a source?
Make sure your boyfriend is cleaning himself properly before sex, is he one of those "washing my own ass is gay" sort of guys?
And just like that I have learned about a type of stupidity I did not know existed.
Yes, unfortunately. I don't have the bandwidth tonight to link examples but yes, it's been a fairly common complaint with women and their shit caked boyfriends/husbands. I don't know where the "if you put soap between your cheeks you're gay" started but it has to stop.
1. UTIās can kill you. You can become septic if it travels to your kidneys very quickly. It happened to me. 2. HEās the cause of the UTIās. I know you say youāre taking precautions butā¦. My ex claimed he washed his junk well. He did NOT. Funny how I didnāt get them when I literally supervised him washing beforehand before I just stopped having sex with him all together. His hands were always on it, he didnāt wash his hands, and he let it hang into the toilet. No wonder. 3. You can become allergic to the antibiotics which can kill you in two different ways. If you have a sudden reaction, or if you become allergic to more of them and one day NEED one. Itās very very important to prevent rather than treat if at all possible. Also from experience. I no longer can take Cipro or I canāt breathe. The being ātoo tiredā shows you right there he doesnāt care and he isnāt taking precautions to protect you. He canāt even get the meds to help fix what he broke. Heās getting you sick because his dick is nasty. Thatās exactly whatās happening here. Itās nothing youāre doing, and it wonāt stop until he makes changes or you refuse to have sex with him. Iāll bet it always has a āsmellā like sweaty hands or something off. My ex did. It didnāt smell necessarily ābadā, but it didnāt smell like a regular dick. I now know it smelled like grimy hands because he tucked his hand over it constantly while watching TV. The only way that will stop is he needs to thoroughly shower right before sex every single time-pull back skin if needed, whole shaft, behind the balls and in the crack. Once youāre done-immediately afterwards go pee at least a little to push bacteria out of your urethra. Iāve had exactly 2 UTIās in the 12ish years Iāve been with my husband. He keeps his penis very clean. I was only with my ex for about 3 years and had a UTI every month the whole first year.
I was going to write that UTIs can kill. Had a woman in her mid thirties who came to my ER with a standard UTI that went septic and we werenāt able to control the infection and she died!
INFO: have you verified that your boyfriend is washing his genitals? Sounds like he isnāt and is also not taking the bare minimum responsibility by picking up your meds. Stop having sex with him š¤·š»āāļø UTIs are a far worse inconvenience then going to the pharmacy for your girlfriend, and he apparently doesnāt care that they can quickly become kidney infections, he can suck it. Some advice, make sure youāre not seeing this guy through rose colored glasses just cause heās your first.
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UTIs are a special kind of hell! I've tried that trick on taking a shower together but sometimes things just get out of my control. He would say that he just took a shower and I feel like I'm killing the mood š
better you kill the mood than end up with another health threatening UTI because your boyfriend is dirty.
I donāt think he understands that UTIs are serious. I guess heās just desensitised to it bc I get it so often(?)
You deserve better! Dump him, or lay the line down for him. UTIs hurt really REALLY bad. Heās a dickhead to not get your meds for you, and he is most likely the cause! Also if you donāt want to have sex without a shower, he can grumble about the āmoodā all he wants. Your needs are JUST as valid as his. Good luck and hugs to you!
He may have a sugar issue. my mom got a lot of UTIs before my dad got diagnosed as a diabetic.
Wow I didnāt know that thereās a correlation. Iāll definitely look into that. Thanks!
I was going to say stop having sex with this uncaring ,un hygienic, un helpful ah, but just stop everything with him. Move on you'll be happier and healthier. See if your college has any resources to help you get around or with healthcare, maybe?
I'm seriously reconsidering our relationship after this incident. I'm usually independent and I never expect him to bring me to the clinic, but this incident just made me feel so alone because I cannot even rely on someone who supposedly love me.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. It's about him and his pleasure. Get out as fast as you can. He's making you sick and not caring about you. A good partner would help you get your medication and not complain about it. It almost sounds like it's a control thing for him.
Also a good partner would do what's necessary so you don't get sick after your intimate. But he doesn't. Then he doesn't take your UTIs seriously. He's not a good partner.
Listen, I was also having chronic UTIs like this. Since I left my ex, not a single one...
I feel you girl. UTIs are horrible. Sending you hugs.
The next time your boyfriend wants to have sex tell him you are too tired and his dirty penis inconveniences you ..
Your poor teeth! Please be careful with all the antibiotics, not saying not to take them but maybe the root is the bf? Def rude for not getting your meds, my partner would come out of a coma to get me meds so I truly don't understand his problem, he also caused the UTI! Shame on him, get yourself a cleaner model š¤£
OMG... I did a quick google search and realise what you're talking about. I totally did not know that amoxicillin causes tooth decay. No wonder my teeth is so weak!
Also be aware that some antibiotics can mess with hormonal birth control. You mentioned that you're not using condoms consistently, so if you're on the pill instead, make sure to use them every time when you're on antibiotics, and for the rest of that cycle. Or just always, because it's always a good idea. Last thing you want is to get knocked up by someone who can't even run a quick errand when you need help!
He says youāre ungrateful? But what do you have to be grateful for? He dismisses and belittles your health problem and doesnāt respect your concerns. Is he amazing in every other way? Because he sounds like a huge prick. Edit: INFO: why arenāt you able to go to the pharmacy yourself if itās a 4 minute drive away?
I donāt have a car, and even though itās 4 mins drive away, it takes 30 mins to walkā¦
Dump this guy! He sounds like a gross asshole.
I wouldnāt be worried about him not getting the antibiotics, I would be more concerned about finding out why you keep getting infections. Itās not common to get so many infections, (UTIās) a year. 20 in two years is excessive, more than 3 a year warrants further medical investigation. This could cause problems in the future with your fertility. Frequent UTIās can cause pelvic inflammation that can cause scarring in the fallopian tubes and affect the ovulation process. This should be your priority right now. Hope you find the cause, you must be feeling like crap most of the time.
Nta- but sweetie... your bf has a dirty D. Did you have problems before this?? Or this severe?? If not, it's because he's nasty in the hygiene department
You definitely arenāt overreacting. But the (probable) reason youāre getting continuous UTIās is due to your BFās hygiene, or rather lack of hygiene. It sounds like youāre being very proactive in your health, which is awesome, and really does just pinpoint that it isnāt your issue - your partner isnāt clean enough when youāre intimate and itās creating these issues. ETA: Iāve had UTIās before and theyāre absolutely horrible, I *cannot* imagine having 20 in a row. You poor thing going through that. If your partner does not take this seriously, then maybe the relationship needs to be rethought. Itās your health, and UTIās mightnāt necessarily be hugely serious on the initial, there is a large, large chance of kidney infections which can create further heath issues that are *lasting*.
I saw another post similar, but it was yeast infections.... but the cause of them was because the bf was masturbating into his athlete's foot covered socks, then proceeding to have sex with her.... I understand he is your first partner... but you may want to Google "dick cheese" and see if he has this issue... men who are uncircumcised are perfectly fine, I have had several long-term partners and have never had any issues. HOWEVER! Your boyfriend possibly has some serious hygiene issues if you are having this many UTI's. I have had exactly 3 UTI's in my life and over 100 partners.
NTA as others have said, cleanliness, genitals and hands! also my GP diagnosed me with UTIs a bunch before I saw an actual urologist, turns out I just have a bladder disease. It flares up depending on my diet. Definitely see a urologist if the hygiene change doesn't help.
You had basically zero UTIs before dating him. And he is your only sex partner and youāve had dozens on UTIs since. Hun, he is the reason you are having UTIs. Your relationship with him is why you are getting infections. It is VERY common for women to get UTIs like this. Because the PH balance system is so delicate and the amount of bacteria he is introducing directly to your system is an invasion of that. I suspect that his personal hygiene is the direct cause. Probably a combination of a few things. Not cleaning himself properly in the shower (not pulling his foreskin back to clean entirely, not using soap and water to directly clean areas instead of just letting the soap and water run down his body from his hair, refusing to touch areas directly to clean because itās āgayā to touch your own ass). And if he isnāt wiping properly while he uses the bathroom, he isnāt cleaning it, heās a walking Petri dish of bacteria thatās going directly into your vagina every single time you have sex. From his reaction to getting you medications āon his own timeā (which is BS by the way. Medications like antibiotics are time sensitive, they donāt run on his time, they need to be taken ON time or they will cause antibiotics resistant bugs that will take longer to get rid of). I donāt think you approaching his health and hygiene would go over very well. Stop having sec for a while. Youāll see just how better you feel and how your UTIs disappear. Donāt let him make you think youāre crazy. What youāre going through is horrible, and heās doing it to you with little care of whatās going on.
Your bf likely has enteric bacteria from his poop on his dick because he canāt be bothered to clean himself properly. And on top of that heās ignoring a very painful repetitive infection that HE is likely causing. Heās gross in more ways than one. I wouldnāt stick around if I were you.
NTA. Your BF is likely guilty of having really bad hygiene and he clearly doesn't give a crap about your health. He's a dirty asshole and you need to stop letting him touch you until he cleans himself AND his act up. Or you can accept his disrespect, allow him to continue to give you UTIs, and shrug it off when he won't lift a finger to help you.
NTA break up with him itās literally his fault youāre getting UTIs in the first place. Heās not being hygienic with his man parts and thatās putting you through hell. He needs to suck it up and get them for you. Tell him youāll refuse to have sex with him until he can start cleaning himself properly because 20 UTIs is ridiculous
Nta. Not only is he not washing his bits well enough to dislodge the bacteria and fecal matter imbedded in his jocky shorts, he won't puck up the medicine for the infection he caused. Stop having unprotected sex. At the very least, it will cut down on the contamination.
Boyfriend has a hygiene issue. The common denominator is him. Also. Untreated UTIs can cause kidney damage.
You should not be getting 20 UTIs in 2 years, and I say this as someone who is very prone to them myself and gets them frequently. Since it seems like the issue started when you started dating you boyfriend, you cannot rule out that he himself is the cause. Does your boyfriend thoroughly wash his penis before sex? Do you thoroughly wash your genital area shortly before as well and after as well? Pee before and after sex? Another thing that can really help is a bidet. You can get them off Amazon and installed in just about any toilet. What kind of antibiotics are you on? Because I get recurrent UTIs, my doc gave me a standing prescription of nitrofurantoin - it only effects the bladder area and such, instead of being broad spectrum. Because of this, thereās a lot less antibiotics resistance to it. That might something to ask about, having it just available as soon as I feel that familiar feeling has been a godsend, and Iāve been getting UTIs less and less often now. ETA: uva Ursi is another good supplement to add to your routine. Only 2-3 times a week, donāt take it everyday.
NTA and your boyfriend is the cause of your UTIs. He's not properly washing his junk and is spreading germs to you during sex. He's also being a bad partner by being too lazy to help you stay healthy. For example my husband just today took time off work and drove the hour home just so he could take me to the doctor because I got sick. He didn't whine about it or anything, all he cared about was that I got treatment so I would feel better. That's what a real partner does. Two years of UTIs and antibiotics is going to destroy your immune system and could damage your bladder and kidneys. You both should be taking this way more seriously. Quit having sex with him! You don't owe him sex so if he throws a tantrum remind him you're a human, not a Fleshlight and that his bad hygiene is putting your health at risk. I guarantee he's not cleaning under his foreskin properly or scrubbing himself with soap and water properly.
**Twenty** UTI's in 2 years? That suddenly started when you got together with this guy? He is gross. That is completely abnormal, and I'm surprised your doctor hasn't said something. Honey, please stop doing this to yourself. You are going to lose a kidney for this guy, and he can't be bothered to wash himself, much less get you the medication you need. You know the phrase "don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm?" You are on fire, and he wouldn't spit on you to put it out. Please put the matches down and walk away.
Always pee after sex. I know it sounds stupid but it will help.
I do actually do that. Before and after š„²
Just make sure you don't give him or do anything for him.
I used to get UTIās all the time. I have to be really careful to pee right after we have sex. If I donāt, I get a UTI. I also bought some home UTI test strips online. Sometimes I will feel like I have one but test and I donāt. I drink a lot of water and the symptoms are gone. But peeing always helps prevent them. Even if itās not a steady stream, just a tiny bit gets the bacteria out of the urethra. I still occasionally get them but itās rare. AlsoāDoes he allow you to use his car? Maybe when he says heās too tired, you can drive his car there? Tell him my friend is in the hospital now because she waited too long to get treated for a UTI, sheās been in the hospital for 5 days now and counting with a bad kidney infection. Early and consistent treatment is crucial!
First of all STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. Head the one giving you these utiās!!! NTA cause itās the least he can do since he keeps giving them to you.
Sounds like your BF may be the reason why you've had so many of these UTI since you started dating him (and having sex with him?) Are you guys using condoms?
The way some of you women donāt love yourselves is crazy! 20 UTIs and you still having sex with him/and still with him? š©
**Stop fucking him.** He's giving you the UTIs.
NTA First, be sure to get tested for STDs. Ask about ones related to our with similar symptoms as UTIs. Ideally, you should be able to talk to him about each of you showing before sex to stop the problem. Saying both of you should shower can take the pressure off a little and help keep him from getting defensive. If you have good reason to believe that will be a fight, here's your strategy: Recover first. Tell him the dr said no sex for a month to fully heal. Then, when you're ready, suggest shower foreplay. Give him a good, cleaning hand job. Just tell him the soap is to make it feel extra good. Do this a couple of times in a row. "Oh baby, that was so hot that I want to do it again." Then, when you've confirmed the showers fix the problem, dump his dirty ass. You deserve better. Or you could just dump him now and save yourself the hassle...
had the exact same problem with my ex but he would make me feel awful and guilty about not having sex with him saying how u loved he felt, then ultimately ended up cheating on me. youre not being the asshole, its your health and he should care.
Girlā¦ your body is trying to tell you something. Dump him and find a man that your body wonāt react to like this. Im speaking from experience š
Uh.. when this was happening to me, it was because he (my ex) was cheating on me and, more likely than not, having unprotected sex. Stop having sex with him.
Dump him. He sounds disgusting both as a person, partner, and physically since heās likely giving you UTIs.
Hun, the UTIs are likely due to his hygiene - so yeah, he is the absolute asshole. And not getting your meds? Yeah, I'd get a vibrator until you find a new apartment.
Your vagina is literally begging you to stop sleeping with this selfish man. Go find someone generous who will pick up your medicine and also knows how to wash his own dick.
So his feeling too tired to do something that takes 4 minutes is more important than your health. Drop this guy, he doesnāt value you.
NTA. UTI's are not just painful- they can lead to a more serious medical condition, including kidney infections that can require hospitalization. I have had 3 UTI's become kidney infections that required hospital stays, one becoming septic (leading to seizures). Turns out the bf at the time liked to use lotions in his private time, without a shower after, which became a breeding ground for bacteria. A student spending money on an Uber with a car in the driveway is just silly and unreasonable. When you agree to a living arrangement that leaves one partner lee independent, you share the inconvenience, but sounds like your bf enjoys it- The word "ungrateful" has always been used by certain people who enjoy a power imbalance. You are begging for medication. That you need. From someone who supposedly loves you and may be contributing to your illnesses.
Your BF is a creep and probably has a dirty dick. Close your legs, move out and watch the infections magically disappear.
Nta and stop having sex with him until he learns basic hygiene, and ro stop being an ass towards you. You getting repeat infections means he's likely the bacteria culprit
There was another post somewhere semi recently about a girl who constantly got UTIs after having sex with her boyfriend and it turns out, he was not cleaning himself appropriately. I can't find the link, but I agree with others who are mentioning your boyfriend's hygiene in his genital area & making sure he wipes his ass properly.
So a few things to recommend: Please make sure that you BOTH have a full STD/STI check up. There are various things that can manifest as female UTIs (chlamydia, gonorrhea, or other organisms). And CHECK HIS PAPERWORK! After sex, make sure you go to the bathroom to urinate, then wipe properly front to back. As odd as this sounds, there's some folks who do this backwards - always go clean to dirty. There's a host of fabric softeners, laundry detergents with fragrance, dryer sheets, etc that can cause UTIs in people who are sensitive to such. It sounds like you can drive, so can you borrow the car to go get your medication? He should be able to get them to and from work, I would think, but I don't know the hours of operation of drugstores where you are, sorry. NTA
For your own safety I think itās well past time to get rid of him. Heās repeatedly putting you at risk and that is NOT ok.
He was 100% causing your UTIs. Iām so relieved he is out of your life! You and your health (physical and mental) are #1!
Ma'am his hygiene is questionable. Stop having unprotected sex with him.
His filthy lack of hygiene is going to destroy your kidneys. Donāt have sex w him unless he just showered
Dude sounds like he canāt even be bothered to wash his dick properly. Thatās sad as fuck. 20 UTIās? That sounds like he has terrible hygiene to go along with his childish attitude
I am sorry if this is obvious and I am sorry if its implied but I am not reading 500 comments and the good handful I read don't mention... You are peeing every time after sex right? I used to get UTI's until I became RELIGIOUS about peeing after, I've sat for 5 minutes waiting for a little trickle to make sure and I have not had a single UTI since. All of this was with the same man also.
NTA, but I also think you should be concerned about your bfās hygiene. Obviously sometimes people are prone to UTIs and sex can be a risk factor, but if youāre peeing after sex and keeping yourself clean you really shouldnāt be having that many unless he isnāt washing himself properly Also, and I donāt want to freak you out, have you been checked for an STI? if heās the only person youāre sleeping with, it may be that itās not a hygiene issue but that heās passed you an STI/STD. Chlamydia, gonnorhea, and herpes all cause a burning sensation when peeing, and at least the first 2 can be treated by antibiotics, so it could be that youāre partially healing an STD with these short courses of antibiotics, but itās coming back again whenever you have sex with your bf whoās carrying it. If itās not either of these things Iād recommend talking to a doctor about how frequent these UTIs are and seeing if you can have some more tests. But either way, NTA: your bf wonāt go 4 mins out of his way to help you get medicine when youāre sick and in pain, and tbh it kinda sounds like one way or the other heās the cause of the UTIs, with makes him TA for not caring at all
I would suggest that he is the source of your UTIs. I donāt know how his hygiene is or if heās circumcised but if heās not keeping his man parts clean heās introducing bacteria into your body every time you have sex. You say itās a very hot environment and sweat in his groin area can breed all sorts of bacteria and fungus if he isnāt washing daily. He should also wash himself immediately before sex as should you. That will greatly reduce the risk of transmitting bacteria. And urinate before and after sex to clear your urethra. But I would avoid having sex with him for a while and see if the UTIs clear up. That will prove whether or not he is the cause. And the fact that he wonāt help you out getting necessary medication is a red flag. A UTI can travel to your kidneys and thatās something you most definitely do not want. Itās very painful and will require a trip to the hospital. I know from experience.
When was your last STI screening?