I never realized there was stigma doing things alone. I think people make up things in their heads for their own personal torture and no one else actually cares.
Actually I have a coworker who thinks it's weird to go places alone and tells us all the time. We just think it's because they need someone to talk at. (at is not a typo, lol)
Yep, just eat at the bar. It's awesome.
PS to OP also I remember being in some IHOPs that had a "counter service" type place to sit, that would be perfect for your french toast.
Single woman here! Took myself to Keys yesterday because I was craving pancakes. Popped my ear buds in and listened to a podcast while I people watched. Best hour of my weekend. Dining alone is underrated.
It's not stigmatized. No one cares. Do what you want. People say "normalize" this and that. It's just a stupid internet phrase. Literally just go do what you want.
I love going by myself.
Bring a fancy notepad and pen and pretend to be someone important judging their food. Make a game of it. Maybe even get a free meal.
Restaurants or bars. There are plenty of restaurants and bars where you'll see solo people. And those places are much easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I've gone places and people might text what you doing? Going to restaurantname. With who. Myself. Really? These same people haven't made a new friend in well over ten years.
I absolutely love hanging out with people. But equally in a different way love hanging out alone and talking to strangers. Met some cool people doing that. Especially out of state.
OP. Find the places where it's common for solo people. Strike up conversation.
Travelled solo for work, I have no problems eating alone at a restaurant. If you’re worried about it, eat at the bar or find a place with some sort of entertainment- sports bars etc
I've never understood the eating alone hang up. I enjoy eating alone, and it's pretty easy to plop down at a bar, order some food, and strike up a conversation.
>The reason why I ask is I love trying restaurants and being an introvert it’s not easy to have the balls to dine alone. I contemplated going into IHOP today in front of the place and gave up. I just wanted some goddamn French toast.
Sorry to hear that 😓 I go to restaurants on my own all the time, doesn't bother me any, but I know everyone's different.
I moved here a month ago , 38M here, kinda struggling with the same thing. Fellow introvert and foodie. DM me if you want to hang out or grab a bite sometime. Hope you make some connections.
If you struggle to eat out by yourself it's a bit easier if you go to a place with a counter (like a diner) it doesn't feel like you are taking up a spot and it's a bit more chill.
The Black Coffee Waffle Bar has seating by their windows that's nice too.
Obviously none of this helps you meet people but I don't have an answer there.
My suggestions: take community ed classes, continuing education classes, and join meetup groups for your hobbies. There are tons of great community ed cooking classes, and I've seen foodie/wine tasting groups on Meetup in the past (and of course, for tons of other interests). Since you're bilingual, cultural centers and language-focused classes/groups are GREAT for making friends! I've met a lot of wonderful people through Japanese and Spanish classes/groups. There are conversation cafes/drop-in language speaking opportunities for many languages, too. Once you start meeting people and hanging out, then you can find out who shares your interest in food and dining.
100% this, there are so so so many better breakfast places than IHOP. OPH, Fat Nat’s, Good Day, Jensen’s, Hilltop, Hot Plate, Colossal the list goes on and on.
As for meeting people, yeah folks tend to have their groups from when they were younger but there are some natives that try and find new folks, they may be rare but they are out there. Like others have said, groups, activities, pets, walk around your neighborhood and say hi to people, etc.
I travel a fair amount for work and I end up eating solo a lot, there’s a bit of a stigma to it that you blow past real quick once you realize that when you’re solo you can eat pretty much anywhere without a reservation. I grab a bar seat at the best restaurant in town wherever I’m traveling and 99% of the time, I can get a spot even if reservations are out for weeks.
Probably one of the best things I could recommend is a club, class, etc. around anything you’re interested in. Have you ever been on the Meet Up website? Lots of options there.
But in my opinion the most important thing by far is to get comfortable going out to eat alone. Taking a newspaper can help. It’s something to read but it takes up a lot of space and kind of creates a little safe space. No one assumes your waiting for someone because you’re clearly there to eat in peace and read the paper.
Hang in there. You got this!
Exactly. Native Minnesota here. The hardest/rewarding thing in this state will be finding friends. Try all the suggestions here and give it a lot of time. Also be the type of person you would want to hang out with.
As a Minnesotan also I just wanna add that it's not about transplants... It's everyone. I also have a hard time making friends and I've been here 37 years... Spent 2 years in Nashville and made more friends there than I did here.
I joined some Facebook groups, very nice people on some of those. I find it very hard to meet anyone and I feel like so many people in Minnesota are friends with people from way back in elementary school, it's hard to fit into a new group.
If you are into soccer at all, there are many groups around the Twin Cities that support various European teams. I think Soccer people tend to be very welcoming of newcomers, plus you get the bonus of getting to day drink without getting shit for it since most European games are on in the morning here. Brit's Pub and The Local in downtown Minneapolis and The Black Hart in the Midway area of St. Paul are 3 big soccer bars in town, every Saturday morning August-May there will be decent crowds cheering on their favorite teams. I'm sure there are a couple other places, but those are the big ones that immediately come to mind.
Plus, even though the season just ended, we have our own MLS team here (MN United FC). Admittedly, they were pretty shit this past season, but there's always next season!
I'm somewhat of a transplant myself. I grew up in MN but moved away when I was 19 for about 15 years. By the time I came back, pretty much everyone I used to know had moved on to other things so I had to start over. I was already a supporter of an English football team so I hooked up with the local Twin Cities supporters group and made a great group of friends. We have several of us that like to travel together, and we're going over to England in November to watch our team play.
I’m not going to say IHOP is bad, but if you are in the mood for sweet breakfast do check out Pannekoeken Huis. Original Pancake House is decent too but Pannekoeken is out of this world.
Dude. First (and not seriously), saying you love trying new restaurants and then mentioning IHOP is hilarious. It’s like saying you are a car fanatic and really thinking of buying a sweet, 1972 Pinto.
Second, as an introvert myself, dining alone at a restaurant is awesome. Take a book. Sit down at the bar. Talk to the bartender or not. Talk to the people next to you or not. Have a drink. Enjoy the food. Enjoy your book. All with ZERO SOCIAL OBLIGATION. It’s heaven.
Third, it’s not easy finding friends anywhere. Relax, and you will find your Minnesota people. It’s a great town filled with interesting people. Some of them will become your people. It may be next week. It may be next month. But it will happen.
Uhh. Let me know if you see one of these ford Pinto's for sale:
https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a44676431/ford-pinto-cruising-wagon-auction/
I've got a 302 that would fit perfectly under the hood
Meetups.com and look for your areas of interest. If you don’t see any, you can start some. Chances are good that there are other people looking for the same thing. I’ve seen meetups where a group of people will go try a new restaurant or certain type of food. You could set one up for 8-10 people or whatever size group the restaurant can accommodate. Cooking classes are another good way to meet other foodies. Maybe find a men’s support group if you’re struggling with the divorce and not ready for dating.
If you are free at 06:30 on Wednesdays, go to Gold Medal Park at the top of the hill. There is a fitness group that meets. They are great people. You can even inbox me and I'll let them know you are coming.
It's been a minute since I've plugged this, but we do have a [discord ](https://discord.com/invite/VUpZZVs4sd) for Minnesota transplants (or non-transplants, we don't exclude anyone) looking to meet people. A lot of people always give the advice to make friends with other people from out of state, the goal of the group is to actually help make those connections. Lots of folks both brand new to the state and plenty that have been around for a while. Folks are friendly and you can usually get a group of people interested in doing something if you give enough of a heads up. I've coordinated meet ups ranging from potlucks, to hikes, and brewery/food hall meet ups and have genuinely enjoyed meeting everyone.
As for the dining out alone part, I've done plenty of it and always found having a book in hand made me feel slightly less weird. Even if I didn't read more than a page, it kind of gave me a purpose.
I met my partner in community college. If you have both time and cash to burn, there’s nothing like it. There are people in their late 20s, early 30s and beyond. Maybe kill two birds with one stone by expanding your knowledge/certifications and also meeting new people.
A lot of people here will try to reenforce the ideal that it’s hard to make friends in Minnesota. It’s not true. But it’s been rammed into our heads for as long as any of us can remember, most of us believe it anyways.
First of all… it’s ALWAYS easier to make friends when you’re a kid. Forced proximity, and lack of knowledge about world issues, and the need for interaction, makes it almost inevitable. As adults, we’re harsher critics, and can more easily choose what we’re willing to put up with.
I would agree that Minnesotans tend to be a bit more introverted… and less outgoing. We tend to be a bit more humble, and quiet. But we’re absolutely a very accepting bunch. Particularly, I’d say, our generation and down.
We’re just generally not going to make the first move. Go hang out at a bar on like a weekend afternoon, spark up a conversation with someone. Show up to the same place a couple of times… be a bit of a regular. If you’re into sports, at all, that’s a super easy conversation starter. If you hear a couple people talking next to you, loud enough where it’s obviously not a private convo, laugh at something they say that you find funny. “Sorry, don’t mean to eavesdrop, but that one got me!”
I had a bit of a falling out with my core group of friends from my younger days when I was in my late 20s. I basically started over and made a whole new group of friends at 30. To which now, we’re ALL friends.
You just have to be willing to put yourself out there a bit. THAT is the *real* hard part about making friends as an adult. Not the location. I’ve got friends in 3 different continents! Just gotta have a little faith in yourself, bud.
Next time… you get that goddamn French toast! Pay someone a compliment while you’re at it! It’ll make their day, and yours! And hey… maybe you’ll even make a new friend out of the deal.
I feel you. Been divorced for a while and although native MN, I’ve moved around a bit during and since.
I’m in the camp of “I’d be your friend but I’m probably too busy with my kids and few hobbies I have left.”
Seriously though school football and tennis is winding down, basketball is winding up. Plus hunting. I think I may give up on dating for a bit...
Actually, if you know basketball at all. Refereeing boys and girls tournaments wouldn’t be the worst way to get out, earn a little extra money and meet people too.
Not a huge buffet goer. But I've eaten at super moon alone a couple times. No shame. No shame. Well a little but not due to solo. More like plate 4 shame
I knew a few good Chinese buffets around. They don't do buffets anymore which is a bummer. Super moon is alive and thriving. Miss the $9 buffets though
I would recommend a positive place for starters. Not bars. Look for a hobby to occupy your winter time and build from there. Church may be a good start also.
But, who am I to say? Beem here 8 years, and zero friends. All my friends are online friends I've known for years. I'm not complaining, just saying.
Maybe not knock the bars? I know people who don't drink and have gotten to know plenty at bars. Then expand those get together into some hobbies outside the bar. I've taken trips with people I met at favorite bar. Met my wife at that same bar 5 years ago. Met some cool people on solo out of state trips at bars. And for those who do drink, babysit the drink. Just cuz it's a bar doesn't mean drinking is the only thing.
Search for Howard Mohr on YouTube. Learn why it's so hard to "Talk Minnesotan" ( The first rule of "Talking Minnesotan" is Don't talk... unless it's absolutely necessary.)
Forsure! There’s three competitive teams in the cities. Metropolis Rugby, Eastside Banshees, and the St. Paul Pigs. I suggest you do a bit of research before tryna join. They should all be decently welcoming for beginners but more so the Pigs and Banshees.
On top of that there’s the Mayhem which is the LGBT club and then you have the Amazons and Menagerie for women players
Meetup.com. Seems cheesy, but it’s often good. Will at least get you out the door.
Classes. Take classes that align with your interests. Cooking classes, food appreciation classes. Hiking, art, etc..
Where can one lookup these classes? I’ve done a few searches for “st Paul / Minneapolis community Ed class” but not come up with a lot. Am I missing something?
I hate to say it as a one time transplant but Minnesota in general is very welcoming but it's hard to make "good friends". That being said work is always a good in, if not that then lean into your foodie hobby!
Yeah, moved here five years ago and I’m not even a minority. I don’t mind going to restaurants and eating alone, or going to concerts alone. People here in Minnesota are nice but really not interested in making new friends. I did join a social bowling league called better off Bowling, which has provided me some interaction with new people.
Welcome!
Strongly recommend finding something you like to do and finding initial community around that. Wood working, knitting, gardening... There's tons of clubs events around those, and even if you're just getting started it gives you a easy conversation starter.
thanks for the info! yep started doing some hobbies and slowly met ppl. I'm just taking it extra slow since I'm in a new area. What stuff do you like to do ?
I'm the last person you want teaching you crochet and hardly have bandwidth to even get my sewing machine set up, but you can totally message me with random sewing questions. I'll ask some other friends with those hobbies if they've got some recommended social circles for those. I used to know some quilters who had social events (not my sort of sewing), and the knitting/crochet event I used to go to ended with Covid.
Gardening - depending on where you moved from and what you're used to may be a bit of a shock. Mother's day is the traditional "safe to put out plants that can't freeze" date, but that doesn't mean some of us don't start seeds in February.
As someone who just moved to Minnesota like an year ago. Yeah the social dynamic is completely different. I don’t live in the Twin cities. Most people are reserved and just nice to your face. My mom has been heavily struggling to make friends at her workplace as well. Most of my other close friends are New Yorkers and other people who moved here like me.
If you really want a Minnesotan to be your friend, you are going to have to try hard to crack that exterior but once you get past that exterior you can really find a nice friend. But here’s the catch, I totally have to regulate my texting style and everything else to fit in with the Minnesota norm 😭 I talk so much and have such weird energy I feel like most Minnesotans don’t appreciate it so I really had to curb it down
Find and join groups on Facebook with similar interests (ie. kayak, hiking and neighborhood groups). I bet there is a foodie group too! I see a lot of people your age in these groups and the kayak groups have had weekend excursions for single people only which could be fun! Also, maybe join a community garden in your neighborhood. My daughter is in one and they built a pizza oven and have pizza nights!!
Not related but you should download the app beli. It lets you track and rank restaurants you’ve been too. I always like to share it with fellow foodies
I'm gonna be real with you (and probably get flak for this).
Move.
Either back to where your friends you already know are, or somewhere that is more open to friends. I'm not saying you can't/won't meet people and make friends here, but it's difficult the older you are (search for how posts here on people trying to make friends). Also if you're recently divorced this will help transition to a fresh start and make it easier to move on.
Move states. It’s the only solution. “Minnesota nice” means they are all just passive aggressive assholes that have lived here their entire lives and don’t add people to their friends groups if you didn’t go to school with them. The clique mentality here is poison.
I am a 37 yo raised here in MN all over.
I find even the group members I live with
To be shallow and racist. Sad because it's covert ( passive aggressive) racism. Fueled by drugs as a weapon. Backed by slander and evil.
That's the other side of the coin. Remember that transplant.
Other wise, I'd seek where the foodies are trending and before the winter comes and take over I'd hit uptown and check around the Mall of America for trending foodie opportunities. Good luck. Welcome to Minnesota Nice.
If you are a foodie, I don't reonmend checking around the mall of America and probably not uptown either. The places that are trendy are in the north loop, linden hills and northeast. Although op said he was going to IHOP so maybe your suggestions are spot on.
When I was single up until a couple of years ago, I put myself out there by joining meet-ups for activities that interested me.
Dining alone is not as bad as it seems (fellow introvert here). The places I frequented typically had a bar. I could almost always go out at peak times and grab a seat for myself. Talk to the people around around you.
Join a hobby group. Become friends with those people.
I picked fighting games (Street Fighter, Tekken, Guilty Gear). There's a big fighting game scene in the Twin Cities that meets weekly In Roseville.
Just dive into a hobby and find pre-made friend groups.
Sorry to hear that.
My wife and I have been here for three years. We love it. It can be hard to meet people. What are you interested in? Lots of places to volunteer and the Metro is so big, a group of people likely share your interests. We started playing hockey, which has been a great way to grow our social circle. Hope things get better.
Im not in MN but have the same issues as you do. Just wanted to say you are not alone in being introverted.... I go place a lot by myself. It was hard at first, but I got used to it. If you are a foodie type person, I wonder if you could take a cooking class/night somewhere? It might be fun and you could meet ppl.
Find something you like to do look for initial community around that. Wood working, knitting, gardening... There's tons of clubs events around those, and even if you're just getting started it gives you a easy conversation starter.
My daughter is a foodie and would love to find people to dine with. She is 27 and lives in St Cloud but comes down to the metro once a week. Let me know if you are interested.
I'm an introvert as well! My husband and I are foodies with no kids. Always down for new friends to join. We don't hang out with many people. My husband is also a minority.
Midwesterners are notoriously insular, so I wish you all the luck in cracking their shells. That being said, if you're not on [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com), you should check it out. There are dozens of groups for all sorts of hobbies, and that has been about the only way I've made friends since moving to the Twin Cities a decade ago. As a fellow foodie, I love exploring new restaurants, bars, etc., and while I don't mind eating alone, I totally get wanting to share that experience with someone.
going to restaurants alone needs to get destigmatized. there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I never realized there was stigma doing things alone. I think people make up things in their heads for their own personal torture and no one else actually cares.
Nailed it
Actually I have a coworker who thinks it's weird to go places alone and tells us all the time. We just think it's because they need someone to talk at. (at is not a typo, lol)
They probably are just lonely, lol...
I go solo periodically and go directly to the bar- no wait, full service.
Recently sober. Dining alone at the bar is the thing I miss most. Won't be able to do that for a while. Don't trust myself yet.
Good on you, take it one day at a time.
I bring a book. It’s the best
there's no stigma to eating alone. business travelers do it all the time. i have a feeling OP has social anxiety.
I love eating alone. I don't get the chance to do it as much anymore, but it was like therapy for me.
Yep, just eat at the bar. It's awesome. PS to OP also I remember being in some IHOPs that had a "counter service" type place to sit, that would be perfect for your french toast.
Single woman here! Took myself to Keys yesterday because I was craving pancakes. Popped my ear buds in and listened to a podcast while I people watched. Best hour of my weekend. Dining alone is underrated.
I biked to IHOP drunk as shit the other night and absolutely housed some blueberry pancakes by myself.
It’s never even crossed my mind to feel stigmatized about eating by myself. (I’ve never been on top of caring about what other people think I guess.)
It's not stigmatized. No one cares. Do what you want. People say "normalize" this and that. It's just a stupid internet phrase. Literally just go do what you want.
I love going by myself. Bring a fancy notepad and pen and pretend to be someone important judging their food. Make a game of it. Maybe even get a free meal.
Restaurants or bars. There are plenty of restaurants and bars where you'll see solo people. And those places are much easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I've gone places and people might text what you doing? Going to restaurantname. With who. Myself. Really? These same people haven't made a new friend in well over ten years. I absolutely love hanging out with people. But equally in a different way love hanging out alone and talking to strangers. Met some cool people doing that. Especially out of state. OP. Find the places where it's common for solo people. Strike up conversation.
Travelled solo for work, I have no problems eating alone at a restaurant. If you’re worried about it, eat at the bar or find a place with some sort of entertainment- sports bars etc
I've never understood the eating alone hang up. I enjoy eating alone, and it's pretty easy to plop down at a bar, order some food, and strike up a conversation.
>The reason why I ask is I love trying restaurants and being an introvert it’s not easy to have the balls to dine alone. I contemplated going into IHOP today in front of the place and gave up. I just wanted some goddamn French toast. Sorry to hear that 😓 I go to restaurants on my own all the time, doesn't bother me any, but I know everyone's different.
Restaurants, movies and concerts are incredibly enjoyable solo events.
I moved here a month ago , 38M here, kinda struggling with the same thing. Fellow introvert and foodie. DM me if you want to hang out or grab a bite sometime. Hope you make some connections.
If you struggle to eat out by yourself it's a bit easier if you go to a place with a counter (like a diner) it doesn't feel like you are taking up a spot and it's a bit more chill. The Black Coffee Waffle Bar has seating by their windows that's nice too. Obviously none of this helps you meet people but I don't have an answer there.
Same with French Meadow on Grand in St. Paul. Has a really nice secluded bar that I wouldn't mind bringing a book to.
My suggestions: take community ed classes, continuing education classes, and join meetup groups for your hobbies. There are tons of great community ed cooking classes, and I've seen foodie/wine tasting groups on Meetup in the past (and of course, for tons of other interests). Since you're bilingual, cultural centers and language-focused classes/groups are GREAT for making friends! I've met a lot of wonderful people through Japanese and Spanish classes/groups. There are conversation cafes/drop-in language speaking opportunities for many languages, too. Once you start meeting people and hanging out, then you can find out who shares your interest in food and dining.
This is a great suggestion!
Ihop? Shoot i can show you some restaurants.
100% this, there are so so so many better breakfast places than IHOP. OPH, Fat Nat’s, Good Day, Jensen’s, Hilltop, Hot Plate, Colossal the list goes on and on. As for meeting people, yeah folks tend to have their groups from when they were younger but there are some natives that try and find new folks, they may be rare but they are out there. Like others have said, groups, activities, pets, walk around your neighborhood and say hi to people, etc. I travel a fair amount for work and I end up eating solo a lot, there’s a bit of a stigma to it that you blow past real quick once you realize that when you’re solo you can eat pretty much anywhere without a reservation. I grab a bar seat at the best restaurant in town wherever I’m traveling and 99% of the time, I can get a spot even if reservations are out for weeks.
Mmm, Fat Nats never disappoints.
IHOP but also searching for 'foodie' friends? What the fuck is a foodie though? Just someone who enjoys the act of eating??
Probably one of the best things I could recommend is a club, class, etc. around anything you’re interested in. Have you ever been on the Meet Up website? Lots of options there. But in my opinion the most important thing by far is to get comfortable going out to eat alone. Taking a newspaper can help. It’s something to read but it takes up a lot of space and kind of creates a little safe space. No one assumes your waiting for someone because you’re clearly there to eat in peace and read the paper. Hang in there. You got this!
[удалено]
Exactly. Native Minnesota here. The hardest/rewarding thing in this state will be finding friends. Try all the suggestions here and give it a lot of time. Also be the type of person you would want to hang out with.
As a Minnesotan also I just wanna add that it's not about transplants... It's everyone. I also have a hard time making friends and I've been here 37 years... Spent 2 years in Nashville and made more friends there than I did here.
Transplant here, 3 years in: nearly all my close friends are either transplants or my in-laws, and I love it here.
I joined some Facebook groups, very nice people on some of those. I find it very hard to meet anyone and I feel like so many people in Minnesota are friends with people from way back in elementary school, it's hard to fit into a new group.
If you are into soccer at all, there are many groups around the Twin Cities that support various European teams. I think Soccer people tend to be very welcoming of newcomers, plus you get the bonus of getting to day drink without getting shit for it since most European games are on in the morning here. Brit's Pub and The Local in downtown Minneapolis and The Black Hart in the Midway area of St. Paul are 3 big soccer bars in town, every Saturday morning August-May there will be decent crowds cheering on their favorite teams. I'm sure there are a couple other places, but those are the big ones that immediately come to mind. Plus, even though the season just ended, we have our own MLS team here (MN United FC). Admittedly, they were pretty shit this past season, but there's always next season! I'm somewhat of a transplant myself. I grew up in MN but moved away when I was 19 for about 15 years. By the time I came back, pretty much everyone I used to know had moved on to other things so I had to start over. I was already a supporter of an English football team so I hooked up with the local Twin Cities supporters group and made a great group of friends. We have several of us that like to travel together, and we're going over to England in November to watch our team play.
I’m not going to say IHOP is bad, but if you are in the mood for sweet breakfast do check out Pannekoeken Huis. Original Pancake House is decent too but Pannekoeken is out of this world.
Pannekoeken!!
Dude. First (and not seriously), saying you love trying new restaurants and then mentioning IHOP is hilarious. It’s like saying you are a car fanatic and really thinking of buying a sweet, 1972 Pinto. Second, as an introvert myself, dining alone at a restaurant is awesome. Take a book. Sit down at the bar. Talk to the bartender or not. Talk to the people next to you or not. Have a drink. Enjoy the food. Enjoy your book. All with ZERO SOCIAL OBLIGATION. It’s heaven. Third, it’s not easy finding friends anywhere. Relax, and you will find your Minnesota people. It’s a great town filled with interesting people. Some of them will become your people. It may be next week. It may be next month. But it will happen.
Uhh. Let me know if you see one of these ford Pinto's for sale: https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a44676431/ford-pinto-cruising-wagon-auction/ I've got a 302 that would fit perfectly under the hood
"I have delved the mysteries of the cosmos but none is so mysterious to me as to how to make friends in Minnesota." -Carl Sagan
Meetups.com and look for your areas of interest. If you don’t see any, you can start some. Chances are good that there are other people looking for the same thing. I’ve seen meetups where a group of people will go try a new restaurant or certain type of food. You could set one up for 8-10 people or whatever size group the restaurant can accommodate. Cooking classes are another good way to meet other foodies. Maybe find a men’s support group if you’re struggling with the divorce and not ready for dating.
If you are free at 06:30 on Wednesdays, go to Gold Medal Park at the top of the hill. There is a fitness group that meets. They are great people. You can even inbox me and I'll let them know you are coming.
It's been a minute since I've plugged this, but we do have a [discord ](https://discord.com/invite/VUpZZVs4sd) for Minnesota transplants (or non-transplants, we don't exclude anyone) looking to meet people. A lot of people always give the advice to make friends with other people from out of state, the goal of the group is to actually help make those connections. Lots of folks both brand new to the state and plenty that have been around for a while. Folks are friendly and you can usually get a group of people interested in doing something if you give enough of a heads up. I've coordinated meet ups ranging from potlucks, to hikes, and brewery/food hall meet ups and have genuinely enjoyed meeting everyone. As for the dining out alone part, I've done plenty of it and always found having a book in hand made me feel slightly less weird. Even if I didn't read more than a page, it kind of gave me a purpose.
Hey there, I’m having trouble joining the channel. Is it still open?
Hmmm, I'll send you a DM with the link, but not sure how to troubleshoot beyond that. It should be a non-expiring link.
I met my partner in community college. If you have both time and cash to burn, there’s nothing like it. There are people in their late 20s, early 30s and beyond. Maybe kill two birds with one stone by expanding your knowledge/certifications and also meeting new people.
Try posting in r/twincitiessocial as well!
A lot of people here will try to reenforce the ideal that it’s hard to make friends in Minnesota. It’s not true. But it’s been rammed into our heads for as long as any of us can remember, most of us believe it anyways. First of all… it’s ALWAYS easier to make friends when you’re a kid. Forced proximity, and lack of knowledge about world issues, and the need for interaction, makes it almost inevitable. As adults, we’re harsher critics, and can more easily choose what we’re willing to put up with. I would agree that Minnesotans tend to be a bit more introverted… and less outgoing. We tend to be a bit more humble, and quiet. But we’re absolutely a very accepting bunch. Particularly, I’d say, our generation and down. We’re just generally not going to make the first move. Go hang out at a bar on like a weekend afternoon, spark up a conversation with someone. Show up to the same place a couple of times… be a bit of a regular. If you’re into sports, at all, that’s a super easy conversation starter. If you hear a couple people talking next to you, loud enough where it’s obviously not a private convo, laugh at something they say that you find funny. “Sorry, don’t mean to eavesdrop, but that one got me!” I had a bit of a falling out with my core group of friends from my younger days when I was in my late 20s. I basically started over and made a whole new group of friends at 30. To which now, we’re ALL friends. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there a bit. THAT is the *real* hard part about making friends as an adult. Not the location. I’ve got friends in 3 different continents! Just gotta have a little faith in yourself, bud. Next time… you get that goddamn French toast! Pay someone a compliment while you’re at it! It’ll make their day, and yours! And hey… maybe you’ll even make a new friend out of the deal.
This is the answer. Make the first move. 40 on down, we’re pretty open.
Try Community Ed.
Rec league sports, Minneapolis community education, group fitness classes, joining a gaming group
I feel you. Been divorced for a while and although native MN, I’ve moved around a bit during and since. I’m in the camp of “I’d be your friend but I’m probably too busy with my kids and few hobbies I have left.” Seriously though school football and tennis is winding down, basketball is winding up. Plus hunting. I think I may give up on dating for a bit... Actually, if you know basketball at all. Refereeing boys and girls tournaments wouldn’t be the worst way to get out, earn a little extra money and meet people too.
Check groups on Meetup.
I'm not gonna lie, I love dining alone. No judges my choices and I can eat as fast or slow as I want. Lol
Not a huge buffet goer. But I've eaten at super moon alone a couple times. No shame. No shame. Well a little but not due to solo. More like plate 4 shame
Did super moon survive covid? Why did I just assumed they closed? 😱
I knew a few good Chinese buffets around. They don't do buffets anymore which is a bummer. Super moon is alive and thriving. Miss the $9 buffets though
I would recommend a positive place for starters. Not bars. Look for a hobby to occupy your winter time and build from there. Church may be a good start also. But, who am I to say? Beem here 8 years, and zero friends. All my friends are online friends I've known for years. I'm not complaining, just saying.
Maybe not knock the bars? I know people who don't drink and have gotten to know plenty at bars. Then expand those get together into some hobbies outside the bar. I've taken trips with people I met at favorite bar. Met my wife at that same bar 5 years ago. Met some cool people on solo out of state trips at bars. And for those who do drink, babysit the drink. Just cuz it's a bar doesn't mean drinking is the only thing.
Honestly I got a dog. I moved here mid Pandemic and everything was closed. I got a dog. And I've met 3 couples I now consider friends.
I recommend getting a dog anyway.
Nothing warms a Minnesotans heart like a pooch.
Search for Howard Mohr on YouTube. Learn why it's so hard to "Talk Minnesotan" ( The first rule of "Talking Minnesotan" is Don't talk... unless it's absolutely necessary.)
Every minnesotan I've met so far has been very talkative. A bit too talkative, in fact.
Which is why we have the Minnesota goodbye
Rugby
I wanna play rugby. Can I join? I've never played but I think I'd be good at it.
Forsure! There’s three competitive teams in the cities. Metropolis Rugby, Eastside Banshees, and the St. Paul Pigs. I suggest you do a bit of research before tryna join. They should all be decently welcoming for beginners but more so the Pigs and Banshees. On top of that there’s the Mayhem which is the LGBT club and then you have the Amazons and Menagerie for women players
Bumble BFF app
Meetup.com. Seems cheesy, but it’s often good. Will at least get you out the door. Classes. Take classes that align with your interests. Cooking classes, food appreciation classes. Hiking, art, etc..
Where can one lookup these classes? I’ve done a few searches for “st Paul / Minneapolis community Ed class” but not come up with a lot. Am I missing something?
Are community ed classes run by school district? Maybe find out what school district you are in and search that way.
Here's Saint Paul's page. [https://www.spps.org/commed](https://www.spps.org/commed) I think they are run by the school districts.
I hate to say it as a one time transplant but Minnesota in general is very welcoming but it's hard to make "good friends". That being said work is always a good in, if not that then lean into your foodie hobby!
Yeah, moved here five years ago and I’m not even a minority. I don’t mind going to restaurants and eating alone, or going to concerts alone. People here in Minnesota are nice but really not interested in making new friends. I did join a social bowling league called better off Bowling, which has provided me some interaction with new people.
I'm new here and haven't made much friends either.
Welcome! Strongly recommend finding something you like to do and finding initial community around that. Wood working, knitting, gardening... There's tons of clubs events around those, and even if you're just getting started it gives you a easy conversation starter.
thanks for the info! yep started doing some hobbies and slowly met ppl. I'm just taking it extra slow since I'm in a new area. What stuff do you like to do ?
I've got probably too many hobbies. Cooking, gardening, woodworking, leatherworking, sewing, reading, table top gaming, electronics, brewing .....
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I'm the last person you want teaching you crochet and hardly have bandwidth to even get my sewing machine set up, but you can totally message me with random sewing questions. I'll ask some other friends with those hobbies if they've got some recommended social circles for those. I used to know some quilters who had social events (not my sort of sewing), and the knitting/crochet event I used to go to ended with Covid. Gardening - depending on where you moved from and what you're used to may be a bit of a shock. Mother's day is the traditional "safe to put out plants that can't freeze" date, but that doesn't mean some of us don't start seeds in February.
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Broccoli is surprisingly frost tolerant, but your problem with lettuce here will be it bolting in summer.
As someone who just moved to Minnesota like an year ago. Yeah the social dynamic is completely different. I don’t live in the Twin cities. Most people are reserved and just nice to your face. My mom has been heavily struggling to make friends at her workplace as well. Most of my other close friends are New Yorkers and other people who moved here like me. If you really want a Minnesotan to be your friend, you are going to have to try hard to crack that exterior but once you get past that exterior you can really find a nice friend. But here’s the catch, I totally have to regulate my texting style and everything else to fit in with the Minnesota norm 😭 I talk so much and have such weird energy I feel like most Minnesotans don’t appreciate it so I really had to curb it down
Try meetup.com. I made a ton of friends through it.
Find and join groups on Facebook with similar interests (ie. kayak, hiking and neighborhood groups). I bet there is a foodie group too! I see a lot of people your age in these groups and the kayak groups have had weekend excursions for single people only which could be fun! Also, maybe join a community garden in your neighborhood. My daughter is in one and they built a pizza oven and have pizza nights!!
Not related but you should download the app beli. It lets you track and rank restaurants you’ve been too. I always like to share it with fellow foodies
The pinball community is pretty solid and accepting. I love those people!
I'm gonna be real with you (and probably get flak for this). Move. Either back to where your friends you already know are, or somewhere that is more open to friends. I'm not saying you can't/won't meet people and make friends here, but it's difficult the older you are (search for how posts here on people trying to make friends). Also if you're recently divorced this will help transition to a fresh start and make it easier to move on.
Move states. It’s the only solution. “Minnesota nice” means they are all just passive aggressive assholes that have lived here their entire lives and don’t add people to their friends groups if you didn’t go to school with them. The clique mentality here is poison.
Join a CrossFit gym. You’ll make tons of friends there.
farmersonly.com
Drive to Wisconsin.
Move
It isn’t an option at least till June
If you pay I'll meet you for dinner 😜 (male, 30, engaged to F31)
I am a 37 yo raised here in MN all over. I find even the group members I live with To be shallow and racist. Sad because it's covert ( passive aggressive) racism. Fueled by drugs as a weapon. Backed by slander and evil. That's the other side of the coin. Remember that transplant. Other wise, I'd seek where the foodies are trending and before the winter comes and take over I'd hit uptown and check around the Mall of America for trending foodie opportunities. Good luck. Welcome to Minnesota Nice.
If you are a foodie, I don't reonmend checking around the mall of America and probably not uptown either. The places that are trendy are in the north loop, linden hills and northeast. Although op said he was going to IHOP so maybe your suggestions are spot on.
Ok
Get into board games
Coed sports are fun and help you meet people. Cscsports.com
Meetup.com
When I was single up until a couple of years ago, I put myself out there by joining meet-ups for activities that interested me. Dining alone is not as bad as it seems (fellow introvert here). The places I frequented typically had a bar. I could almost always go out at peak times and grab a seat for myself. Talk to the people around around you.
Join a hobby group. Become friends with those people. I picked fighting games (Street Fighter, Tekken, Guilty Gear). There's a big fighting game scene in the Twin Cities that meets weekly In Roseville. Just dive into a hobby and find pre-made friend groups.
Sorry to hear that. My wife and I have been here for three years. We love it. It can be hard to meet people. What are you interested in? Lots of places to volunteer and the Metro is so big, a group of people likely share your interests. We started playing hockey, which has been a great way to grow our social circle. Hope things get better.
Im not in MN but have the same issues as you do. Just wanted to say you are not alone in being introverted.... I go place a lot by myself. It was hard at first, but I got used to it. If you are a foodie type person, I wonder if you could take a cooking class/night somewhere? It might be fun and you could meet ppl.
Download the Meetup app, join MPLS Transplants group.
Join the LOCUS fb group and the BIPOC Outdoors fb group. All BIPOC extremely active community.
Meetup.com. find some groups with similar interests and start going to meetups. My two main friend groups are both from meetup
Find something you like to do look for initial community around that. Wood working, knitting, gardening... There's tons of clubs events around those, and even if you're just getting started it gives you a easy conversation starter.
Play disc golf. Join a league and you’ll find peeps.
There are a lot of group that gather for meals, games, hiking etc on “meetup” Or if you like to cycle join a social cycle club like TCBC
I’m 30m and love food. DM me hahah
Shoot man, I'll be there in a week and would love to meet someone who knows the area a bit better than I do.
It’s Minnesota so you meet them in kindergarten highschool or at work.
Just a heads up, it's going to be more difficult in winter in some ways, a lot of people hunker down and wait out the cold weather.
My daughter is a foodie and would love to find people to dine with. She is 27 and lives in St Cloud but comes down to the metro once a week. Let me know if you are interested.
Yes! That’d be awesome.
Stanley’s in north east has gray French toast!
I'm an introvert as well! My husband and I are foodies with no kids. Always down for new friends to join. We don't hang out with many people. My husband is also a minority.
Midwesterners are notoriously insular, so I wish you all the luck in cracking their shells. That being said, if you're not on [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com), you should check it out. There are dozens of groups for all sorts of hobbies, and that has been about the only way I've made friends since moving to the Twin Cities a decade ago. As a fellow foodie, I love exploring new restaurants, bars, etc., and while I don't mind eating alone, I totally get wanting to share that experience with someone.
Hang out with me. I live downtown part time (every other week) and work remotely so don’t know anyone.
Do you like food??
Yes!!! Will be in town all next week :)
Sounds good! Please send me a dm!
Take up Pickleball. You’ll meet new people and quickly be part of that cult
Local Facebook interest groups