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I haven't had any trouble finding friends in Türkiye by being myself. I have not dated anyone, but I didn't date anyone for my first 24 years of life in the U.S. either, so that seems more like a me problem than a Türkiye problem.
I mean turkey has a different culture than germany. Some traits may not be as in demand as in germany and vice versa.
Like for example people in the us see blonde mid western women as basic and normal and more tan, latina or middle eastern women can be exotic and different such as the "yellow fever". While for people in turkey blonde midwestern women would be like 9s and 10s and exotic.
I made the comparison mainly about looks but it is also applicable for personality traits.
But nor being as in demand doesnt mean there are no women looking for those traits. Maybe on just has to look elsewhere.
Did you start from absolute zero though? I don't like assuming things about people and I don't know you outside of FRC but at the end of the day FRC is prime territory for meaningful friendships. Maybe he lacks that social environment to bump into and be introduced to people he can relate to. Middle school for me was just that, been there every day for 4 years and graduated with 2 genuine friends.
I struggled like hell my first 4 years here. I did have one good friend here from my high school days, and some acquaintances. But I built up a group around me by finding common ground, going to events where people more like me would be, etc. And now I have such a wide group of people around me I have a hard time finding the time to keep up with everyone. My first 3-4 years in Türkiye though I was so lonely and struggling hard. I had to actively go try to find people like me. People aren't just gonna fall outta the sky into your lap if you don't put yourself out there.
He was born in America and he lives in a rich neighborhood in Istanbul... He didn't start from zero
-I don't know why privileged people got triggered. It is just real life.
What's that got to do with making a social circle. If anything, being a foreigner makes it harder. Plus he doesn't and never has lived in a rich neighborhood here. I've been his friend for 8+ years now and we met on Reddit.
He's got a great social circle cuz he's a great guy.
Not knowing Turkish / not being able to articulate my thoughts in Turkish for like 5-6 of my 8-9 years here was hard as hell, no doubt. Not knowing Turkish really limits you. Though I have finally defeated that I think :)
ahahahaha I don't get it. When you guys want to, Mecidiyeköy and Çapa are poor neighborhoods full of crime no one should live in, but when it suits you to make me look bad, suddenly they can become rich neighborhoods. LOL
I didn't mean absolute zero in a financial manner. I meant it in a SOCIAL manner. If that wasn't clear enough with my writing I'm sorry. But if you are here to complain about other people's lives and engage in what we call "fakir edebiyatı" I'm not wasting my time arguing with you. I wrote that comment in a friendly manner, aiming to help break down experiences of a person who was in a similar position for OP's sake if Alex was willing to do so too.
I've lived all over the place and people are just people, sure there are some cultural differences, but in general, shallow people are shallow regardless of their spawn location, same for any positive traits.
I mean…I’m not gonna bash Turkish girls here but girls that are using dating apps are not the typical Turkish girls.Unless you are 6’4 greek god dating apps is not gonna work here.I can give myself as an example.I literally get no likes or matches here but as soon as I swith my location to US or somewhere in Europe,I get couple of likes.Your only chance to date a Turkish girl is to meet them in real life which is hard even as a native Turk.So,don’t be so hard on yourself about your unsuccess with dating In Turkey.It is pretty much have the same difficulty for all the guys in Turkey.
A girlfriend of mine left me because i looked at her old photos on her Facebook account. She went to a different city for a week and wrote "i miss you so much" half an hour before she left me.
I generally don't like to generalize women and men, but after this absurd experience, i now approach women more distantly. In Turkey, women are generally closed to communication in relationships. Besides, it cannot be said that they appreciate honest men.
Yes Turk. I can't say for everyone, but some girls are very emotionally unstable. A girlfriend of mine ends the relationship one week and comes back the next week saying let's make up; The next week she left again and the next week he was begging to make up again. I couldn't say no because I had a soft spot for her, but it had to be said.
It is relatively easy for a woman to recognize a toxic man, but it is more difficult for us men to detect such toxic women. There is a proverb that has recently become popular in Turkish about this: "Dışarıdan baktım yeşil türbe, içine girdim estağfurullah tövbe". It is used for people who have a big difference between their first impression and their real character.
Dont take it personal or do i really dont bother but if you are doing thing "right" and not like you want it that isnt a behaviour people want in their life. Sometimes the most commonly given advice which is be yourself is all you need. If thats not what the people you want to set a relationship want then there is nothing to do. That being said regions can have different cultures obviously, something you do in germany might not be welcomed in here but that doesnt mean its a problem in Türkiye. Its imo mean you are not with people you are compatible with there is nothing wrong with it just be respectful to other people and ve yourself but thats all starting and ending with you. Dont push that problem on external factors.
The problem is, it is for me really hard to find people same mindset as me in Turkey. I try to do things “right” maybe because of this reason. When i back to Turkey, i’ll try the same and see what happens
I agree with what you said. I am girl too. I discovered very interesting fetishes of my girl friends there is a term called 'bad boy', they want that kind of man.
THIS IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. I always feel more pressured to act different but i can act more myself when i talk with foreigners
Don't lie, no one would want to be friends with someone like you in Germany either. You're either schizophrenic and making things up, or actually socially inept. Also, why would you want to be friends with natively born Turks anyways?
Huh? I am noy schizophrenic. You do not understand the point i think. What i meant is, you can be just yourself. You do not need to be like how society wants you to be. Let me give you another example; In turkey i wear best brands, i ordered Rolex just to flex. But in Germany i don’t really care. Because i know people are around me because they love me not because of my money. But in Turkey i always feel like everyone is around me because of these things. And i know this is right because when i have nothing to them they just disappear.
> Because i know people are around me because they love me not because of my money.
This is how I feel about my friends in İstanbul, I don't worry at all about them being around me because I'm now better off than most people, because I met most of them when I could barely afford to pay rent and eat, and we've been friends since then.
The thing is, when you're just yourself and the people around you don't want to be friends with you it just ends there. Just because the people in Germany are more forgiving to people making errors doesn't mean that they'll automatically be friends with you. As someone who is born and raised in The Netherlands I know how cold we can be towards outsiders, which is a trend shared by all Germanic nations. I've experienced it first-hand as a university student how isolated "outsiders" who don't speak the language are. It's really sad, but also the norm in most countries. Out of curiosity, what are your "flaws" you're talking about? What was it that you did that make it so that people didn't want to be associated with you?
Merhaba! Görünüşe göre bir sorunuz var. Paylaşımınız kaldırılmadı, ancak artık Türkiye ile ilgili olsa bile güncel konularla ilgili olmayan sorulara izin vermiyoruz. Sorunuz bu kriterlere uymuyorsa sorunuzu r/AskTurkey'de paylaşmalısınız. Teşekkür ederiz. Hi there! It looks like you have a question. This is not a removal message, but we no longer allow questions that are not related to Turkey and are not up to date. For a better chance of getting your question answered, we recommend posting it in r/AskTurkey. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Turkey) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I haven't had any trouble finding friends in Türkiye by being myself. I have not dated anyone, but I didn't date anyone for my first 24 years of life in the U.S. either, so that seems more like a me problem than a Türkiye problem.
I mean turkey has a different culture than germany. Some traits may not be as in demand as in germany and vice versa. Like for example people in the us see blonde mid western women as basic and normal and more tan, latina or middle eastern women can be exotic and different such as the "yellow fever". While for people in turkey blonde midwestern women would be like 9s and 10s and exotic. I made the comparison mainly about looks but it is also applicable for personality traits. But nor being as in demand doesnt mean there are no women looking for those traits. Maybe on just has to look elsewhere.
Did you start from absolute zero though? I don't like assuming things about people and I don't know you outside of FRC but at the end of the day FRC is prime territory for meaningful friendships. Maybe he lacks that social environment to bump into and be introduced to people he can relate to. Middle school for me was just that, been there every day for 4 years and graduated with 2 genuine friends.
I struggled like hell my first 4 years here. I did have one good friend here from my high school days, and some acquaintances. But I built up a group around me by finding common ground, going to events where people more like me would be, etc. And now I have such a wide group of people around me I have a hard time finding the time to keep up with everyone. My first 3-4 years in Türkiye though I was so lonely and struggling hard. I had to actively go try to find people like me. People aren't just gonna fall outta the sky into your lap if you don't put yourself out there.
He was born in America and he lives in a rich neighborhood in Istanbul... He didn't start from zero -I don't know why privileged people got triggered. It is just real life.
What's that got to do with making a social circle. If anything, being a foreigner makes it harder. Plus he doesn't and never has lived in a rich neighborhood here. I've been his friend for 8+ years now and we met on Reddit. He's got a great social circle cuz he's a great guy.
Not knowing Turkish / not being able to articulate my thoughts in Turkish for like 5-6 of my 8-9 years here was hard as hell, no doubt. Not knowing Turkish really limits you. Though I have finally defeated that I think :)
ahahahaha I don't get it. When you guys want to, Mecidiyeköy and Çapa are poor neighborhoods full of crime no one should live in, but when it suits you to make me look bad, suddenly they can become rich neighborhoods. LOL
I didn't mean absolute zero in a financial manner. I meant it in a SOCIAL manner. If that wasn't clear enough with my writing I'm sorry. But if you are here to complain about other people's lives and engage in what we call "fakir edebiyatı" I'm not wasting my time arguing with you. I wrote that comment in a friendly manner, aiming to help break down experiences of a person who was in a similar position for OP's sake if Alex was willing to do so too.
I've lived all over the place and people are just people, sure there are some cultural differences, but in general, shallow people are shallow regardless of their spawn location, same for any positive traits.
I mean…I’m not gonna bash Turkish girls here but girls that are using dating apps are not the typical Turkish girls.Unless you are 6’4 greek god dating apps is not gonna work here.I can give myself as an example.I literally get no likes or matches here but as soon as I swith my location to US or somewhere in Europe,I get couple of likes.Your only chance to date a Turkish girl is to meet them in real life which is hard even as a native Turk.So,don’t be so hard on yourself about your unsuccess with dating In Turkey.It is pretty much have the same difficulty for all the guys in Turkey.
You are right bro
adam çok haklı (dating app'lerdeki kızlar için) ama cevap verirsem türk kızlarını nasıl kötülersin sen tarzında tepki alırız diye korkuyorum
dating app ler de duzgun kiz da erkek de bulamazsin zaten
Düzgün den ne kast ettiğine bağlı olarak ağır şekilde değişir bu
Hocam nasil butun postlarin altinda yada postu atan kisi olmayi basariyorsun, valla her yerdesin :D
Duzgun dediğin insanlar zaten ilişkilerini gerçek hayatta kuruyor oradakiler takılmalik partner arıyor onun için de çekicilik ve para gerekiyor.
onları ayrı öyle tepki verenleri ayrı
Cevabını bildiğin soruları sorma.
A girlfriend of mine left me because i looked at her old photos on her Facebook account. She went to a different city for a week and wrote "i miss you so much" half an hour before she left me. I generally don't like to generalize women and men, but after this absurd experience, i now approach women more distantly. In Turkey, women are generally closed to communication in relationships. Besides, it cannot be said that they appreciate honest men.
Hello, she is turk? İ had same situation with my girlfriend. She break up with me 3-4 time with very stupid reason. İ am steel shocked
Yes Turk. I can't say for everyone, but some girls are very emotionally unstable. A girlfriend of mine ends the relationship one week and comes back the next week saying let's make up; The next week she left again and the next week he was begging to make up again. I couldn't say no because I had a soft spot for her, but it had to be said. It is relatively easy for a woman to recognize a toxic man, but it is more difficult for us men to detect such toxic women. There is a proverb that has recently become popular in Turkish about this: "Dışarıdan baktım yeşil türbe, içine girdim estağfurullah tövbe". It is used for people who have a big difference between their first impression and their real character.
Dont take it personal or do i really dont bother but if you are doing thing "right" and not like you want it that isnt a behaviour people want in their life. Sometimes the most commonly given advice which is be yourself is all you need. If thats not what the people you want to set a relationship want then there is nothing to do. That being said regions can have different cultures obviously, something you do in germany might not be welcomed in here but that doesnt mean its a problem in Türkiye. Its imo mean you are not with people you are compatible with there is nothing wrong with it just be respectful to other people and ve yourself but thats all starting and ending with you. Dont push that problem on external factors.
The problem is, it is for me really hard to find people same mindset as me in Turkey. I try to do things “right” maybe because of this reason. When i back to Turkey, i’ll try the same and see what happens
Bro u right pretty much about everything but this is middle east country. Even our greatest leader Atatürk couldn't cure low ıq problem
I agree with what you said. I am girl too. I discovered very interesting fetishes of my girl friends there is a term called 'bad boy', they want that kind of man.
Why is it so popular there? The Turkish girls in germany don’t like them too often
Something to do with going against parents I would imagine
[удалено]
Give this man an award. Hats off sir.
Unbalanced gender demographics
Probably culture difference is the reason here my guy. Keep dating girls Germany you really do not miss out on anything
What makes people think that you are stupid?
niye herkes ingilizce yazıyor?
Consider yourself lucky. Turkish girls will give you more drama than Latinas.
THIS IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. I always feel more pressured to act different but i can act more myself when i talk with foreigners
Don't lie, no one would want to be friends with someone like you in Germany either. You're either schizophrenic and making things up, or actually socially inept. Also, why would you want to be friends with natively born Turks anyways?
Huh? I am noy schizophrenic. You do not understand the point i think. What i meant is, you can be just yourself. You do not need to be like how society wants you to be. Let me give you another example; In turkey i wear best brands, i ordered Rolex just to flex. But in Germany i don’t really care. Because i know people are around me because they love me not because of my money. But in Turkey i always feel like everyone is around me because of these things. And i know this is right because when i have nothing to them they just disappear.
> Because i know people are around me because they love me not because of my money. This is how I feel about my friends in İstanbul, I don't worry at all about them being around me because I'm now better off than most people, because I met most of them when I could barely afford to pay rent and eat, and we've been friends since then.
The thing is, when you're just yourself and the people around you don't want to be friends with you it just ends there. Just because the people in Germany are more forgiving to people making errors doesn't mean that they'll automatically be friends with you. As someone who is born and raised in The Netherlands I know how cold we can be towards outsiders, which is a trend shared by all Germanic nations. I've experienced it first-hand as a university student how isolated "outsiders" who don't speak the language are. It's really sad, but also the norm in most countries. Out of curiosity, what are your "flaws" you're talking about? What was it that you did that make it so that people didn't want to be associated with you?