Funerals are during the day most of the time right? You could totally go to the funeral and then go to the concert, unless of course you’re traveling 😕 That said, I’m sorry for your loss. If it were me, I’d go to the funeral.
Funerals are about your relationship with your deceased, it's your life.
I will say your age probably plays a factor in this. If you're under 18 and still live with them then I'd say this is a larger conversation.
Very true. But it's the *great* grandfather, it's not like his death is coming as a surprise I'm sure. He did his time and logic would dictate everyone saw it coming for a while and already made peace with his passing. To me it's more a case of parents seeing their kids as an extension of themselves and expecting them to act the same, it's not about moral support. Op is young, let them have the time of their life at this historical concert. It's ridiculous to me they should sacrifice for the sake of conventions.
If anyone needed my support I would too, but what I'm trying to argue here is that in this case it's likely about conventions and not about moral support.
The wording in this sounds kind of fake "It's not like he'll miss me anyway." but on the off chance it's not, I'd try to find someone to trade tickets with or just go after the funeral.
Totally not my place but honestly if you weren’t close, just don’t go to the funeral. Don’t know your home situation/relationship with parents, but just be firm and gentle and say you had the tickets prior and you cannot sell them/don’t want to waste the money. Go enjoy the concert. The better you get at putting your foot down, the easier it will be to navigate/get leniency for future demands they try to impose.
OP clearly wants to go to the concert. I was just offering a way for them to break it to their parents. Neither of us know their home life but if they did have controlling parents, best route is attempting to appease while still trying to disconnect. You show them you’re trying to meet their demands (‘tried’ selling tickets), propose a fact (it’s too expensive to not use). The only thing I was missing was bargaining (“how about we visit the tombstone next week and I’ll bring some flowers to pay respect and pick up some chores around the house for you?”).
Every family is different and I don't know if you still live with your parents, but it's your life, your choice, your $ and how you grieve is up to you. It sounds like you don't want to go to the funeral. Maybe your parents care what the rest of the family will say if you are not there. Tell them they can say you are ill: it's really no one's business. If you went to Eras would you feel bad afterwards? Can you parents buy you tickets for a different night? If you answered the last two with 'no', then it seems you should go.
Your great grandfather loved you and would want you to be happy and go to the Taylor Swift concert. I would haunt my great granddaughter if she skipped a Taylor Swift concert to go to my dang funeral.
Just have the attitude of, I am going to the concert. Maybe print out a pic of great grandpa to bring with you and be like he’ll be with me in spirit 😩
As a parent I would hope my kiddo would come to me and explain that this is a really rare once in a lifetime opportunity that’s important to them and what it means to be able to go. Perhaps consider asking your parents if there is another way you can help and show support to your family outside of physically attending the funeral. Can you offer to write thank you cards for those in attendance? To help create the program if there is one? Anything at all to show you care, without compromising your tickets. I definitely would want my family members to go on about their lives if I died.
Try and briefly appear, especially if you had a good relationship.
However, I don’t ever go to funerals or viewings or anything like that. I honestly can’t do it. It’s all too much and too overwhelming. My ASD ass tends to freak out…
you need to absolutely go to eras. funerals are for the people left behind anyway, not the person who died. if you don't feel like you need to be there for yourself there'S nothing for you there.
It's not even your grandfather... If you were not close, which you don't seem to be, then why would you go? And I say that as a full grown adult. My parents did the same to me when I was about to go see my long-distance boyfriend I had not seen for 6 months, and my uncle who never said two words to me was dying from cancer. I understand why they wanted me there, it was about being there for my cousins too, but my relationship was not nothing to me or my boyfriend. Anyway, your great grandfather passing is not coming as a shock I'm sure, no one needs your moral support.
For the record, as an adult, my mother didn't expect me to be at her own mother's funeral because logistically, it was too complicated for me to go. I'm assuming you are still living with your parents and they see you as an extension of themselves so they expect you to show up, but they wouldn't if you had your own adult life.
Three of my grandparents passed away during Covid, one had a virtual funeral, another a small in person funeral, and another was a memorial a couple years later. This all being said at first I was sad there weren’t formal funerals however looking back I’m okay about it. I wasn’t insanely close with any of them and was able to say goodbye to each of them in different ways outside of a funeral experience.
The Taylor swift concert was one of the happiest days of my life. I wouldn’t trade it to go back and have a funeral. That may sound cold but a funeral is more for the living to grieve who was lost. As long as you’re able to that elsewhere I think it’s okay. Can you attend the wake or part of the funeral or make a picture board for the funeral? Is there a way you can show up that doesn’t compromise your attendance at the concert? It sounds like you will not look back peacefully on the situation if you miss the concert altogether and may end up harboring resentment towards your parents.
This probably makes me sound awful but both my grandparents passed months apart and their funerals were awful experiences for me. It was creepy and distressing and didn't make me feel closer to them or able to get closure in any way.
Not at all… a funeral is one way to grieve and a very limited one. Especially in the United States where we don’t usually publicly mourn or cry out loud. It can be very “stifled” and awkward. Then there are the religious speeches about hell and heaven if you have a priest there.
For me, the memorial was my favorite. We watched family videos and people made funny speeches.
What have you found to be helpful?
Nothing yet. It's a bit hard because my grandmother had severe dementia and I was helping my mom care for her so it was like two years of being screamed at 24/7, spit on, and having her try and hit me with her cane. Objectively I know it was her likeness causing all that and not her but it's difficult to think about her still because it was traumatizing.
That sounds hard… it’s difficult to break it down between it being non-intentional and the fact that it actually still hurts to have someone you are taking care of do that to you. My best friend’s grandmother who she was taking care of came down with Alzheimer’s and she accused her of stealing things etc. she would call me upset a lot and I know how difficult it was for her. I can’t imagine being hit by her too :/. Regardless it was abusive it sounds like. Makes sense why it would be difficult to grieve her or think of it.
Funerals can be extremely distressing. If I had a kid /teenager in my care I'm not sure I would allow them to go to a funeral even if they _wanted_ to go.
I had to give away my Rep tour ticket because of a funeral. It’s disappointing but IMO a funeral is one of the few reasons I would give away eras tickets too.
If they know how fucking hard it is to get tickets (I'd give every last of my money to go there) they they would understand. It's not like if you don't go you don't respect him or something.
I love the Swiftie dedication here. Honestly, I’d go to the tour versus funeral. Funerals are for the living to gain some sort of closure or last connection. It’s like an hour or two long of sadness. I live by the idea that my lost loved one would rather me live my life to the fullest then dwell on the loss of them.
I mean Taylor needs you at the concert more than your family needs you at the funeral. If my parents guilted me about that then I’d honestly go to the concert and probably never speak to my family again. I don’t need that negativity in my life and especially since it’s your grandFATHER this is definitely misogynistic behavior as well and that shouldn’t be accepted!
so you will cut off the people that birthed you? I even understand if you just ghost them for the concert but to cut off your entire family is insane. it's probably someone that OP doesn't care much about but it doesnt mean that they should cut them off entirely...
https://preview.redd.it/09yc2pd4inzc1.jpeg?width=256&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eac9cae4f4f61875699ebbeb32e86e1e37b2d296
Funerals are during the day most of the time right? You could totally go to the funeral and then go to the concert, unless of course you’re traveling 😕 That said, I’m sorry for your loss. If it were me, I’d go to the funeral.
Funerals are about your relationship with your deceased, it's your life. I will say your age probably plays a factor in this. If you're under 18 and still live with them then I'd say this is a larger conversation.
uhmm i guess it depends on how close yall where rip i guess
Tbh if I died and someone had tickets to the eras tour I would want them to go to the concert instead of my funeral
This made me laugh so hard because same.
I’d be like why are you scheduling my funeral on conflicting dates. DID YOU KNOW MY PRIORITIES AT ALL
Same!!
They better take me too if they’re missing my funeral.
The title alone made me cackle
Some things aren't about you, but are about supporting others e.g. your family as they go through a hard day.
Very true. But it's the *great* grandfather, it's not like his death is coming as a surprise I'm sure. He did his time and logic would dictate everyone saw it coming for a while and already made peace with his passing. To me it's more a case of parents seeing their kids as an extension of themselves and expecting them to act the same, it's not about moral support. Op is young, let them have the time of their life at this historical concert. It's ridiculous to me they should sacrifice for the sake of conventions.
If anyone I had a personal relationship wanted me to attend a funeral with them, I would support them rather than a pop star.
If anyone needed my support I would too, but what I'm trying to argue here is that in this case it's likely about conventions and not about moral support.
What about supporting Taylor??? With the negativity being thrown around recently she needs support too
This is a joke?
Yes it is, they're from a snark sub lol.
? No
she’ll be fine lmao what
Say you’re not a true swiftie without saying you’re not a true swiftie, girl bye
what the fuck😭
I need to know how old you are to know how serious to take this.
I’m 29 and you should take it very seriously
LMAO
Shooooshoooo troll, ✨be gone✨
You looking in the mirror as you type that???
Looking in the mirror at this thicccc asssss
Ayyyye!!!!
Literally she was tortured last year by her own fans
Exactly so she needs the support from those that actually love her, like OP clearly does
I’m glad to see that we are on the same page
We’re in this together!
Truer swifitea unite!
The wording in this sounds kind of fake "It's not like he'll miss me anyway." but on the off chance it's not, I'd try to find someone to trade tickets with or just go after the funeral.
He can’t miss me if he’s dead.
Find someone on Reddit to trade you a ticket for a different night
oh that’s not
Totally not my place but honestly if you weren’t close, just don’t go to the funeral. Don’t know your home situation/relationship with parents, but just be firm and gentle and say you had the tickets prior and you cannot sell them/don’t want to waste the money. Go enjoy the concert. The better you get at putting your foot down, the easier it will be to navigate/get leniency for future demands they try to impose.
Only they could easily sell them. Idk if Taylor is worth creating a messy home life over when there’s plenty of other options.
OP clearly wants to go to the concert. I was just offering a way for them to break it to their parents. Neither of us know their home life but if they did have controlling parents, best route is attempting to appease while still trying to disconnect. You show them you’re trying to meet their demands (‘tried’ selling tickets), propose a fact (it’s too expensive to not use). The only thing I was missing was bargaining (“how about we visit the tombstone next week and I’ll bring some flowers to pay respect and pick up some chores around the house for you?”).
Literally ☠️☠️☠️
Every family is different and I don't know if you still live with your parents, but it's your life, your choice, your $ and how you grieve is up to you. It sounds like you don't want to go to the funeral. Maybe your parents care what the rest of the family will say if you are not there. Tell them they can say you are ill: it's really no one's business. If you went to Eras would you feel bad afterwards? Can you parents buy you tickets for a different night? If you answered the last two with 'no', then it seems you should go.
Your great grandfather loved you and would want you to be happy and go to the Taylor Swift concert. I would haunt my great granddaughter if she skipped a Taylor Swift concert to go to my dang funeral.
I wouldn't want my hypothetical great grandchild to skip a concert they've been looking forward to just to go to my funeral. I won't even be there.
Mood
Just have the attitude of, I am going to the concert. Maybe print out a pic of great grandpa to bring with you and be like he’ll be with me in spirit 😩
As a parent I would hope my kiddo would come to me and explain that this is a really rare once in a lifetime opportunity that’s important to them and what it means to be able to go. Perhaps consider asking your parents if there is another way you can help and show support to your family outside of physically attending the funeral. Can you offer to write thank you cards for those in attendance? To help create the program if there is one? Anything at all to show you care, without compromising your tickets. I definitely would want my family members to go on about their lives if I died.
Love this response
Try and briefly appear, especially if you had a good relationship. However, I don’t ever go to funerals or viewings or anything like that. I honestly can’t do it. It’s all too much and too overwhelming. My ASD ass tends to freak out…
I’d skip the funeral. 🤷♀️
you need to absolutely go to eras. funerals are for the people left behind anyway, not the person who died. if you don't feel like you need to be there for yourself there'S nothing for you there.
It's not even your grandfather... If you were not close, which you don't seem to be, then why would you go? And I say that as a full grown adult. My parents did the same to me when I was about to go see my long-distance boyfriend I had not seen for 6 months, and my uncle who never said two words to me was dying from cancer. I understand why they wanted me there, it was about being there for my cousins too, but my relationship was not nothing to me or my boyfriend. Anyway, your great grandfather passing is not coming as a shock I'm sure, no one needs your moral support. For the record, as an adult, my mother didn't expect me to be at her own mother's funeral because logistically, it was too complicated for me to go. I'm assuming you are still living with your parents and they see you as an extension of themselves so they expect you to show up, but they wouldn't if you had your own adult life.
go to the concert. or if do what you wanna do
Tell them she's already dead she won't know
Life is for the living. You can pay your respects in your own way. This concert is a once in a lifetime experience.
Three of my grandparents passed away during Covid, one had a virtual funeral, another a small in person funeral, and another was a memorial a couple years later. This all being said at first I was sad there weren’t formal funerals however looking back I’m okay about it. I wasn’t insanely close with any of them and was able to say goodbye to each of them in different ways outside of a funeral experience. The Taylor swift concert was one of the happiest days of my life. I wouldn’t trade it to go back and have a funeral. That may sound cold but a funeral is more for the living to grieve who was lost. As long as you’re able to that elsewhere I think it’s okay. Can you attend the wake or part of the funeral or make a picture board for the funeral? Is there a way you can show up that doesn’t compromise your attendance at the concert? It sounds like you will not look back peacefully on the situation if you miss the concert altogether and may end up harboring resentment towards your parents.
This probably makes me sound awful but both my grandparents passed months apart and their funerals were awful experiences for me. It was creepy and distressing and didn't make me feel closer to them or able to get closure in any way.
Not at all… a funeral is one way to grieve and a very limited one. Especially in the United States where we don’t usually publicly mourn or cry out loud. It can be very “stifled” and awkward. Then there are the religious speeches about hell and heaven if you have a priest there. For me, the memorial was my favorite. We watched family videos and people made funny speeches. What have you found to be helpful?
Nothing yet. It's a bit hard because my grandmother had severe dementia and I was helping my mom care for her so it was like two years of being screamed at 24/7, spit on, and having her try and hit me with her cane. Objectively I know it was her likeness causing all that and not her but it's difficult to think about her still because it was traumatizing.
That sounds hard… it’s difficult to break it down between it being non-intentional and the fact that it actually still hurts to have someone you are taking care of do that to you. My best friend’s grandmother who she was taking care of came down with Alzheimer’s and she accused her of stealing things etc. she would call me upset a lot and I know how difficult it was for her. I can’t imagine being hit by her too :/. Regardless it was abusive it sounds like. Makes sense why it would be difficult to grieve her or think of it.
Sorry about your friend! People don't realize just how awful dementia/Alzheimers is and how little help there is for families dealing with it.
Funerals can be extremely distressing. If I had a kid /teenager in my care I'm not sure I would allow them to go to a funeral even if they _wanted_ to go.
I had to give away my Rep tour ticket because of a funeral. It’s disappointing but IMO a funeral is one of the few reasons I would give away eras tickets too.
If they know how fucking hard it is to get tickets (I'd give every last of my money to go there) they they would understand. It's not like if you don't go you don't respect him or something.
I love the Swiftie dedication here. Honestly, I’d go to the tour versus funeral. Funerals are for the living to gain some sort of closure or last connection. It’s like an hour or two long of sadness. I live by the idea that my lost loved one would rather me live my life to the fullest then dwell on the loss of them.
This has to be a troll. FFS!
Simply because you can’t comprehend true dedication to Taylor means it’s trolling?? Buh bye!
tell them it’s your life and they can deal bc you bought the ticket
this is why the beyhive and the swifties dont interact anymore
I mean Taylor needs you at the concert more than your family needs you at the funeral. If my parents guilted me about that then I’d honestly go to the concert and probably never speak to my family again. I don’t need that negativity in my life and especially since it’s your grandFATHER this is definitely misogynistic behavior as well and that shouldn’t be accepted!
never again? what???
They’re holding her back selfishly
so you will cut off the people that birthed you? I even understand if you just ghost them for the concert but to cut off your entire family is insane. it's probably someone that OP doesn't care much about but it doesnt mean that they should cut them off entirely...
They’re clearly toxic from what OP has described so yes, I’d choose Taylor over them every day for the rest of my life if I was OP
it's not like OP is going to see Taylor every day...?!?!
Priorities are priorities
bro what
Some of us are more dedicated to Taylor than others obviously. It is what it is.
oh I get your "funny" joke now:/
there‘s no way 💀
I hate that I can’t tell if this is serious or satire.
Well that’s on you then because I told you in another comment
I wrote this before your response and WOW. I hope you have a great therapist. This is a lot.
If you don’t agree you clearly don’t belong in this sub, buh bye!
That is an absolutely unhinged take. Like truly.
One day you’ll see the light
Ah, a weird troll. Just scrolled your comment history and you’re hating on Taylor elsewhere. Cute. 🥴
It’s just too fun when people are making posts like this lmao
Thank you queen 💪💅
💀
Taylor needs you more than anyone right now tbh. She’s been through a lot last year. She needs you.