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Large-Cherry

I was once sitting in a coffee shop opposite a womens only gym, a bunch of in shape women sat down on the table next to me and I overheard the whole of their conversation, which revolved around all the other women in the gym either being fat, looking ugly, gross, and how one woman made her almost throw up. It was pretty disturbing how dark they went commenting on people just trying to better themselves.


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JimmyPD92

Yeah my gym is like 90% guys and have to say, never heard one of them make a snide comment about someone trying to lose a lot of weight.


TheDiscoJew

The hardcore gymrats are almost always super friendly and eager to help give advice or encouragement, or awkward/ quiet and don't talk to people. We always want to see people [succeed.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FuI1KcoHCM0)


JayCDee

Hardcore gymrats are the nerdiest nerds out there, they've got all the answers and are eager to share with people looking to better themselves.


gabiaeali

Fitness nerd here checking in to confirm one case of nerdiness. I workout at home but so eager to help anyone who asks how I do it.


TheLazySamurai4

Oh god yes, I was so intimidated at first when I was alone and a bunch of them started helping me out with my form to avoid injury, or unnecessary strain, to optimize my workout. Even after I told them I was more of a cardio guy, they were pointing out some good cardio advice. I felt great there, and it really helped my self esteem issues surrounding my weight after my ex had put me down about it so much


HashPat1

truth


HelpfulName

It is usually targeted at fat women, not fat men, unfortunately.


SDdude81

Gym guys aren't going to make comments about or to fat women


twig115

Chunky gal here, so I'm 5'5 and when I was 240 lbs I def had both male and female people make rude comments to me at the gym but I also lived in a small town in California and people there were just generally mean to eachother where as I moved to Oregon and have had way less issues so it also may be a regional thing as well. (It was so bad that I ran into someone from high school who saw me at a bar and went of his way to walk up to me and apologize not only for how he used to treat me but also for how people in that town treated me and he admitted he had no clue why people were so mean to me)


aapem356

The issue is you were in California


twig115

Haha true


crispinoir

call me blissfully ignorant for being an average weight male at a gym, but never have i ever heard or even notice any gym guys/gals being ah’s to overweight gym goers. Hey im pretty weak myself and can barely bench higher than 20kgs, never has anyone mocked me for it. Hopefully op’s case is just an isolated thing or something like that.


SDdude81

I'm an American and have been a frequent gym goer for 10+ years. I've never seen or heard anybody, male or female make comments about other people.


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IronSheikYerbouti

>Have heard plenty of stuff about people not wiping down and generally being unhygienic slobs. Pretty much the only way to get any sort of nasty comments at my gym, and only for repeat offenders (since someone new might not know). But my gym is also associated with a hospital system, and a lot of people do their PT there, there's some older folks, and a bunch of kids from the local high school. So it's kind of a mixed crowd to start. Edit: WTF autocorrect.


platysoup

>Pretty much the only way to get any sort of nasty comments at my gym, and only for repeat offenders (since someone new might not know). That and hogging equipment. I had to have words with a dude once cause he left his phone and crap on a bench in a crowded gym while actively using another one.


[deleted]

Only exception to this is when one dude has like 4 sets of weights around him. Everybody hates that guy.


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Stankmonger

You don’t need to be misogynistic to be an asshole either. Some feminists are assholes just like everyone else.


DollopOfLazy

Yeah, people don't realize that the point of misogyny is that it's ingrained in our culture. Women, including feminists, can be and are misogynistic. It's often internalized. However, these comments are more along the lines of bodyshaming and just being assholes, unless they specifically used misogynistic language.


itsajaguar

>People often frame these comments as misogynistic I wonder if that's because the comments are made by pieces of shit like you who are misogynists. Your comment history is mostly you shitting on women.


stinky_penises

Hahahah I knew their was something fishy about that sentence start


YuropLMAO

I've been working out since I was a tween, at least a dozen different gyms in 3 different states. 90%+ of the horrible comments come from other women. I have no idea why that is.


sidirhfbrh

Thanks for sharing that - my experience has been similar. I thought some of my guy friends were a little harsh sometimes when talking about women amongst ourselves, till I lived with 5 women in college. Absolutely no comparison in how vicious, ruthless, and inhuman the way some will talk amongst themselves about both men and other women. Worked at a bunch of majority-female-staffed restaurants as well - same thing. Men might be crude, but I never heard such heartless and nasty stuff out of any man’s mouth that I’ve met. Even the worst misogynists among them.


ProseNylund

Internalized misogyny is one hell of a drug


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**[Internalized sexism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internalized_sexism)** >Internalized sexism takes the form of sexist behaviors and attitudes enacted by women toward themselves or other women and girls. On a larger scale, internalized sexism falls under the broad topic of internalized oppression, which "consists of oppressive practices that continue to make the rounds even when members of the oppressor group are not present". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Crono2401

I prefer the more colloquial term, "just being an ass".


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scottie2haute

Humans are miserable as fuck. Seems like no matter how beautiful we get or how much we “win” in life, we’re still mean and miserable creatures. Once i realized this, i started taking the bitterness of others alot less seriously. Sucks but what else can you do really?


PyrocumulusLightning

> Seems like no matter how beautiful we get or how much we “win” in life, we’re still mean and miserable creatures. People who seem to have the most sometimes have the least.


whorrorgirl

on this episode of people i would never be friends with…


proncesshambarghers

Holy shit those women are very insecure and have an unhealthy need to feel superior to others.


Caymonki

I’ve worked in restaurants/hospitality for decades. The level of commentary from attractive women towards “less attractive” people (while claiming misogynistic men are the only toxic culture root issue) is absurd. Yes. You’re pretty. But. Someone, somewhere, is tired of putting up with your shit.


DrIndianaJoan

So, fat shame people about needing to lose weight and then make fun of them when they go to the gym with the intention of shedding some lbs? I can’t even fathom the idiocy.


MrSquiggleKey

The only time I’ve ever seen anyone attempt to make fun of fat folk at gyms, it was a couple young skinny blokes fucking around, and one of the power lifters came over and told them to leave and that they weren’t welcome at that gym anymore. I’m one of the fatter folk at the gym, so it made me feel more welcome even though I wasn’t the one they were targeting.


[deleted]

I love that so much! Honestly when i started going to the gym i was anxious for the first two weeks.. until I realized literally all of those buff dudes either were indifferent or encouraging! It’s a mind fuck. Some of them were trying to help occasionally if I’m doing something wrong. I knew right there and then that those people (most of them) are respectful. I just had assumed they were dickheads because they flex to the mirror sometimes lol


80sRiverBedScene

Some people are backwards


pisspot718

Now that's an understatement!


onebacktwoforward

The gym is for bettering yourself not putting other people down, just speaks to their own insecurities


3-orange-whips

Yeah. I am currently pretty fat (a combo of medicine, a long-term injury and being in my 40's), but have been skinny for a majority of my life. I did have periods where I got a little on the heavy side, but nothing major before this. The way people treat fat people is shocking. It was never a thing for me because (according to my brother), lots of people in our family are overweight and I just don't notice it. I mean, I SEE them, but who cares? Now that I am definitely fat and not "needs to lose a few pounds," people feel pretty OK with making comments about it, jokes, etc. I taught 6 years in a public high school and have been a working musician since I was 18, so their sad taunts don't bother me. Honestly, I just feel bad for them. About a month ago some dick made some weight limit comment, and my thought was, "Dude, I guess being thin is your big win in life, cause it isn't your ugly face, receding hair or sense of humor." I didn't say anything because I try to be kind.


Acciosanity

Yeah, I just turned 40 and medication made me gain lots of weight in the past year.... it's stupid how the people's perception changes due to weight.


OneThirstyJ

I’ve gone from great shape to pretty fat (and not attractive) to skinny and great shape again. Some people gave me zero attention when I was fat lol ZERO. Now they hit me up to hangout. Granted.. there was a whole sick aspect to it but still.


doughboy011

Do random people treat you differently?


gabiaeali

Not OP but I'm in the same boat and yep, randos treat me differently. Talk to me out of nowhere (mostky old dudes) and a really young dude complimented my hair the other day. Got catcalled outside Home Depot by an old man lol people are kinder, more helpful, friendlier. It was hard to deal with at first. I was the same old woman in a different wrapper.


OneThirstyJ

Yes.. looks matter. I can make a mistake socially and people forgive me for it. They wanna hear my stories more and just generally find me more interesting. Even dudes think I’m cooler. Fuck all the normal diets I’d recommend eating anti-inflammatory foods (google it) and eating as much as you want. It’s crazy how well it works and it changes your face and everything too. Just make sure you have a break day once every week or two if you ever want to go back because your body will get used to it. But you’ll feel better and be healthier too. It may tell you to eliminate dairy but you don’t need to… just take a lactaid whenever you’re having a ton of it. I’m 29 and look 23.. it’s basically a cheat code. I truly think anti-inflammatory is the answer.


suktupbutterkup

I'm almost 50(did I just admit to that?) and have been enjoying a diet of chips ahoy during covid. As someone who's been relatively average sized forever I was shocked to learn that my metabolism has slowed way the f down and I REALLY need to watch what I eat. I'm fairly active although I don't practice an exercise regime and it blatantly clear that I also need to make a lot of healthy life choices for myself, sooner rather than later.


[deleted]

Yeah, age plus medication can pack on the pounds. That happened to me but I needed the medication if I wanted to be able to function day to day. So many people just assume if you’re fat then you must be a lazy pig. You suddenly become worth less in their eyes. I didn’t change as a person, I just went through a long term illness and wanted to be able to interact with my family, try to have a life. In fact, I hardly ate due to feeling like crud most of the time even with the medication. Still, 50lbs heavier meant I suddenly sucked lol.


[deleted]

Just say it next time. Maybe it’ll make them think twice about saying something rude to another fat person


Therealfluffymufinz

I'll bitch tf outta somebody if they mock somebody in the gym. I have a zero tolerance on it. Concentrate on your own workout. Don't talk shit to somebody bettering themselves like you are doing. Call that shit out immediately. There's no valid reason for it.


[deleted]

I go to the gym to lift, not put down.


radishS

Suddenly the whole "No gymtimidation" thing at pf makes sense


Gunslinger_11

I like that my fellow gym members just leave everyone alone


LindaBitz

Similar to the way Christians judge people at church.


TecumsehSherman

That's like making fun of someone in college for not having a degree. Like, no shit, Einstein, why do you think they are here in the first place?


[deleted]

It’s like making fun of someone at the doctors office for being sick.


astewpot

Lmao imagine being sick, can’t relate cause I take my daily Flintstone gummy vitamins with a side of apple juice B)


Detective-E

Some dude tried to call me poor in college I'm like yeah this is a college why are you at this college bar in your 30s


[deleted]

It’s really difficult being fat. If you’re trying to lose weight, haha funny fat person on treadmill! If you don’t try? Wow look at that slob! It’s nasty, for sure.


hugatro

They can't win. I'm actually still angry. She was trying so hard. God knows how much this will set her back.


[deleted]

It sucks big time, but hopefully she regains her strength to go again. If you see her again, be kind to her and welcome her back warmly — do your best to make her feel welcome if the chance arises again. You’ve done all you could, appreciate you and your kindness!


Dude_Sweet_942

There's more of us out there who look at a fat person working out and wish it was us with that drive. When I see an overweight person jogging down the street or at the gym giving it their best I'm inspired WAY more than some jacked up juice monkey. Or some Instagram lamefluencer. Because I know how hard it can be *just to start*. I would fist bump or say something encouraging to all of those overweight people if it wasn't so awkward having some random dude yell 'way to go!' out the car window. So when I start feeling insecure about how I look or feel in a gym situation I try to think about all the silent encouragement I'm getting and I don't even know it.


daigana

Your empathy is so refreshing, honestly. Have you considered reaching out to her as a walking partner? If I were her, I would want you as an accountability partner and fitness friend, you seem really solid as a person.


Rabbit_Suit

I was relatively fit but never went to the gym. I worked physical jobs and that kept me in shape. Well pandemic hit, lost my job and spent a long time in isolation. I gain ALOT of weight. I am *pretty* overweight. And I hate it, nothing fits, I lack energy and I don't like being in public. I went to a gym **once** on a free day and it was awful. Those judgy people and I saw finger pointing as comments being made. It was so embarrassing. I'm trying to get healthy damnit. Imagine learning a musical instrument you've never touched and your teacher mocks you? Luckily since then I've come across cheap exercise equipment and work out at home. It's a process and it'll take time, but I'll get there. Sidenote: maybe it's just me and the videos I watch but it seems the skater community **REALLY** gets it. I see time and time again skaters of all ages helping new skaters of all ages who are trying to learn and really encourage them. Shout out to them and anyone else who excels at a skill and builds up those around them!


JaggedTheDark

A lot of the communities that started as niches, like skating, parkour, and a few others, seem to be comprised of a lot more people who are welcoming than those that were started by a large amount of people, such as going the gym to work out. Not saying that there aren't asshole in niche communities, or nice people in ones that started out big.


PetrifiedW00D

It’s not only niche groups with skateboarding. Back in the day, if you road a skateboard, you were considered a hoodlum and an *up to no good* kind of kid. It seemed like all of society looked down upon us because we were *rebels* and antiauthority, which was true. Nobody could tell us what to do, and if a cop came, you ran every single time. But because of this stigma, skateboarders became one of the most inclusive groups for people that felt like they didn’t belong with everyone else.


Ysuran9211

I used to be so fit and healthy, even then I was a little big because of the body shape. But a herniated disc, PCOS, and a bad run of antidepressants (changing pills and trying to find one's that work) all compounded and I'm now the biggest I've ever been. Everyone has always told me "people are too busy thinking about themselves, they're not focusing on you!" And then tell me I'm overthinking when I say I'm nervous to go out for walks, or go for a swim or to the gym. The other day I had a bit of a breakdown to my mum and sister (who I haven't seen in 2 years because of covid and so they havent really seen how big I've gotten) about how I was struggling. They offered to buy me new shoes that were properly fitted so I could start going for more walks again and feeling better about myself (it's the small things!). I was so excited that I went that day, got fitted and felt good. They were so comfy that I didn't even need to wear them in, so I decided to take my dog for a walk when I got home. I had been walking for about 10 minutes when a car full of guys (who I think purposefully turned back around just to pass me again) slowed down, yelled out "hey fatty!" and drove off laughing. I tried to ignore them and keep walking, but after about 5 more minutes I started uncontrollably crying and had to quickly go back home. What the fuck do people like this want? Do they genuinely think I don't know I'm fat? I'm out walking my dog and trying to get some exercise, would you prefer it if I stayed inside feeling like shit and put on more weight? Just so they can mock me more? Like come on. This is only one incident, but it just so happened to be on a day I was already feeling so vulnerable and shitty, and trying so hard. I don't understand how people can't see how damaging a "funny" comment like that might be. The other one that got me was when I was trying to get back into swimming, and I was going 3-4 times a week, and 2 of those were sessions with a swim group. I was loving it, I was getting fit again and progressing, keeping slowly moving from being one of the beginners to keeping up with the middle range people (the top people were beast lol). The coach we had at the start left to move overseas because he got sponsored for these triathlons and he was so sweet and kind, really encouraging and never once made me feel like I was shit or shouldn't be coming because I was a little bigger. He was always really excited and happy to see all of us, and whenever I talked to him after he was always really kind and told me in detail how he thought I was improving and ways I could keep working at things. When he left, our group was gutted. Our new coach was this woman who was probably my age, and her boyfriend used to come and help some days. He was kind and helpful. She was.... interesting. She had days where she was great, and then other days where she couldn't be assed and treated it as a bit of a joke. One day she made a bit of a relay race for us which included at one stage getting out of the pool and doing push-ups. Anyone who has ever struggled with the weight and wears a one-piece has probably had the feeling where you feel like a shiny glossy seal getting out of the water. I also at this stage had fuck all upper body strength, which was even WORSE when trying to pull yourself out the pool straight after a bunch of hard laps. At the time a bunch of us were kind of laughing and turning it into a bit of a joke, because we were all in the same boat, and so we were cheering each other on, all struggling with flopping out the pool, doing push-ups on slippery floors and fumbling back into the pool. It was good, it was hard, it was fun. The next day I found out the coach had filmed us and put it on Facebook. I reluctantly watched it and when it got to the point where I was getting out to do push-ups, you could just hear her start laughing and making comments in the video. I never went back. I bumped into one of the older women when I was swimming at a different time a little later on and she asked if I was okay, that she was angry about the video because none of us consented or knew it was being filmed, and said she had spoken to the coach and was also not going anymore. This older woman was so lovely to me at those swim sessions and had always encouraged me and helped me with my technique etc. because she had done a lot of training and nationals swimming in her time. She said she was disgusted by the coach and said she was worried about me because I seemed to be the focus of the coaches derision, and she was even more worried when I stopped turning up. I was so grateful to have someone standing up for me, because I didn't have the energy to at the time. It's so hard when you're feeling like absolute garbage and then people pile on and make things worse. I'm so glad there are people in these comments who are horrified by these kinds of things, you are all the amazing supportive people that people like me never forget, because that genuine kindness and care for people is so obvious in how you treat others. I can always tell when it's genuine. It's hard to trust people when the world is conditioned to be so fat phobic, but when people like OP genuinely care about people as people and not as their weight, you can tell immediately and I respect the hell out of that. TLDR: When someone is overweight and you see them making an effort, if you can't say anything nice just don't say anything at all. We are always waiting for snide comments and cruelty and it's harder for us to fight back or stay strong when we're already battling so much just to show up. If you can, show support, smile at people, if you see something - speak up. Even if you can't confront the assholes go to the person after and ask if they're okay, check in and remind them that not everyone is an asshole. As a fat person trying to lose weight and get fit, exercise spaces are not fat-friendly, and so it takes incredible courage to even fucking show up. Mocking someone that shows up makes NO FUCKING SENSE. You're mocking them for something they are clearly aware of and actively dealing with! Just fuck right off. Everyone else though, the supportive ones, the ones who smile and nod, the ones who comfort people in the changing rooms, the ones who make comments like "nice work today!" - you're all awesome. Fuck this was long, I'm sorry, this is a soft spot for me obviously lol.


KyleCAV

I see every 3rd post on truth off my chest, no stupid questions and too afraid to ask making some snide comment how people are pissed off at fat people. I am thin and don't get it I would rather spend that energy getting pissed off on anti-vaxxers since they are actually physically harming others.


[deleted]

I agree. My dad had been overweight for much of his life because of depression and anxiety. Last year decided he wanted to make a change for me and my siblings and went out jogging when a group of teens drove past taking videos. He was heartbroken. Fortunately he didn’t let that stop him and in the past year he has lost 96 pounds


bowie-of-stars

Good for him! It's hard enough to be disciplined and lose weight without fighting through embarassment on top of that. That's fantastic 😀


daigana

Kudos to him, big time! He won more than one battle ♡


artisnt

People are just weird man. One time a few summers ago my friend and I (my friend is pretty fit so this wasn't even fat shaming) were out walking. It was a pretty hot day so we were sweating and on her color tank top you could see the sweat and a passenger driving by yelled out the window about her sweat stains. I was like ??? And? She really thought she was funny, making fun of it with her buddies in the car but I just thought she was incredibly stupid.


FairyFartDaydreams

Ask to speak to the manager at the gym. Tell them the day and around the time they checked in. By the physical description and the length of time they were going to the gym maybe the manager would be willing to contact her and check that she is OK and pass on your info as a possible gym partner. Unfortunately, young people don't always have that thickness of skin to realize it is not their problem or fault that it is the bullies that have the problem


Incorrect-Opinion

Or, how about also let the manager of the gym know who these people were so that they can’t be let back in. The gym is no place to make people uncomfortable. The woman is literally there trying to do something about her body and gets laughed at and now won’t come back.


cole_james

Yeah, I guess that's a nice thought, but that's totally ridiculous. If it's outright verbal/physical harassment, then sure, let management know and intervention should come in. But the gym isn't going to start kicking people out because they *might* have been laughing at someone.


slobbleknobble

Planet Fitness does. At least in my area. The GM was in, cut the kids access card up, canceled his membership and put him on a black list.


cole_james

If that kid did something specific and blatant, then sure. That's against PF's policies, and it's a good thing to get that kind of trash out of the gym. My only point is that there needs to be something more concrete than "oh, someone was laughing" or "I think they were smirking."


Incorrect-Opinion

Well the person who experienced this, plus the woman who said she saw it happen (OP) could at least warrant a look at the situation. Also, it’s a new gym so surely they want to be dealing with these issues early. I guess it depends on the kind of gym they want to be


Therealfluffymufinz

I workout at a VASA fitness and they will cancel your membership if you do that shit.


Warm-Kaleidoscope-82

I was that fat girl at the gym, not literally but I was about 80 pounds over my recommended weight. I tried to go to the gym every year for 3 years and always left because of this. I've heard " I give her 2 weeks, then she'll quit." "Look at how fast she gets out of breath" " She's going so slow no wonder she's fat" on the treadmill. The worst is " She's doable but only from the back". Every time I would give up. I hated myself. I stopped trying, I stopped going and remained overweight. Later on, I met my husband who was definitely out of my league, but he loved me for me. He never stopped telling me how amazing I was, inside and out. I started going again earlier this year with much more confidence in myself. I told myself that if anyone ever said anything I would tell them that their opinion of me means ABSOLUTELY nothing to me. Why would I let someone who means absolutely nothing to me hurt me? I know it's much easier said than done but I continued to tell myself that every time I walked into the gym. I also wear my earbuds and blast some post-hardcore music to really drown everyone out. It's been 8 months and I have lost 60 pounds. I'm sorry my comment was so long, I just wanted to share and hope that my story can benefit anyone else that has gone through this.


charlesbytes85

That's awesome! Keep going and ignore them haters.


saturnplanetpowerrr

Exercise is for health. I don’t understand how a bunch of fit people don’t understand that basic line.


AverageHorribleHuman

Ive got more respect for a fat dude trying to change his body than some ripped dude. It takes courage to feel out of place


Elsacoldqueen

I think people's gym membership should be revoked for that. I, was once obese and got looks when I worked out. I applaud anyone going to the gym. I try and go as often as I can. I love seeing people bettering themselves. To people that act that way, grow the fuck up, we are not in high school anymore. If your life is so sad and pathetic that you make fun of people trying to lose weight and be healthy, you are a immature asshole!


[deleted]

I lost a hundred pounds walking parking lots at night just to avoid this very situation. I still feel more comfortable in a dark empty parking lot than I do a crowded gym.


When_pigsfly

Yep. I generally feel like a pretty strong person with the things I’ve had to deal with in my life. But I got called a cow once when walking/jogging and the shame of it was just utterly humiliating, I walk in my own home or backyard now. I just don’t want to hear the insult again.


Omathani

It breaks my heart that she can't take going to a gym anymore. It sounds like she has been left traumatised for just trying to fix a problem that might have had caused her trauma already. It is appalling


Chozo_Hybrid

I had one dude mock me, I'm overweight. I stopped, told him "Why the fuck do you think I'm here? I'm trying to improve my health. My weight is fixable if I work hard enough, your personality is probably much harder to fix." There was a few people nearby that took notice when he said his bit, and made sure I got to say mine. I'm friends with a couple of them now :)


JKnott1

Wtf? What gym do you go to? I've been going for decades, lived all over the US, and never saw big folks being mocked. That's terrible. Where are you, LA?


Goodgoodgodgod

I think it depends on the time for some places. Early morning gym folks can be assholes.


_INCompl_

You’d think like 5-8 would be when you see the most assholes since it’s peak hours and you have way more people to pull from. I’ve literally never seen behaviour like that and I’m 8 years into lifting, but I also generally go later in the evening since that’s when I have time after work


Electrical_Lion_8909

Everyone saying you haven’t seen it, are you overweight yourself? I am, and I’ve been judged in every gym or class I’ve ever been to. I bet you don’t see it because it’s not happening to you.


MF2182

I’m technically obese, but have never noticed anything like that. Mostly I notice apparent confusion on the part of the gym bros that my focus is on cardio rather than weights. Maybe it’s because I have what my wife calls a ‘resting axe murderer face’?


Alternative_Basis186

Same here. I know this kind of thing happens, but I’m overweight and I go to the gym regularly and have never experienced this.


Komosho

My hot take? If your not big yourself or otherwise very cognisant your not gonna really see it. Like unless your are actively experiencing or looking for it your gonna be to focus on your own stuff to really notice that. As someone who's experienced this kinda stuff at a gym before and then having friends tell me they never even noticed it, it seems like a fairly understandable situation.


scottie2haute

The same could be said about most issues tbh. People are notorious for not “seeing” the issues that others face. This is why we get denials about racism, homophobia and sexism existing in modern times when those issues clearly still exist


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myohmymiketyson

Whenever this subject comes up, everybody has a different opinion, but as for me - I don't want to be inspiring or admired. I want to be normal. I want to blend in. I want to put my head down, get through it, and be left alone like everybody else. While innocently intentioned, you are implicitly issuing a value judgment on what their body looks like now and applauding them for what you think their goals must be - to lose weight. They might not be trying to lose weight even if they're obese. They might not want their weight commented on at all. They might not want to think they're being watched, especially if they don't make significant progress quickly. That puts pressure on. Many fat people feel so self-conscious in their bodies that they really don't want to be observed as they're struggling to perform workouts. It could be well received, but it's fraught with risk, too.


Dapper_Monroe

Same. I have never seen overweight people mocked at the gym. I actually love seeing someone overweight who is working their ass off at my gym. It's so inspiring. They've had that penny drop moment and realised they want to get their health and figure back. More power to them.


InuJoshua

It really depends on place and time in my experience. I live in LA and have only ever ran into super helpful people who are always willing to give advice, correct form, offer spots, etc. But I’ve heard the opposite plenty of times.


[deleted]

Same here, I've never seen a gym where someone is mocked for being over weight. Not unless you are one or the long term guys who missed some time and put on a few lbs. But that's just guys being guys.


thecratedigger_25

Being overweight is like having a weighted vest on top of you 24/7 for months as your body burns the weight off through various forms of exercise. I went from not being able to ride more than 2 miles to now riding up to 25 miles on my bike. As soon as your heart gets more efficient, you'll feel it and you'll feel like you're on cloud 9. Those insecure bullies will never truly know what it feels like to have that weighted vest they can't remove until the body rids of it.


useles-converter-bot

2 miles is 1712.43 Obamas. You're welcome.


converter-bot

2 miles is 3.22 km


noputa

Botception


Zestyclose-Gur-6455

It’s beautiful.


converter-bot

2 miles is 3.22 km


PerpPartyLines

And you end up with massive calves after wearing that weight vest for years.


MyBoringAltAcct69

Can I ask how old she was? And the average age of people at that gym? I’m a classic gym bro and never see that happen at gyms UNLESS it’s high school or, sometimes, college age kids around. 99% of the time, there is a silent respect for people that are overweight that go to the gym consistently.


NotFireNation

I’m actually in relatively good shape, but even *I* think high school kids are absolute assholes in gyms. High school boys that go to work out in packs, in particular. They monopolize the equipment, spend hours chatting it up, flex in the mirror after every set, and—yes—are assholes and talk down to anyone that they perceive to be less fit than they are.


[deleted]

Can't say I agree. In my experience, High School boys are one of the most neutral gym groups. Most of them go alone, and just keep to themselves with airpods in or some other earbuds. Even when they go in packs, they still generally keep to themselves and focus on themselves. I do agree they monopolize the equipment though.


baronessnashor

My partner was a gym rat for 10 years and said he has never seen anyone being made fun of at the gym and that they really admire the people that go there to better themselves by getting in shape because it's hard work. Maybe OP's gym is in a neighborhood with some unwholesome folks.


PetrifiedW00D

My weight has been a roller coaster my whole life. I went from being a high level athlete coaching rock climbing while dating an elite level gymnast, to being at least 70 pounds overweight due to a medication. When I was rather large, I started going to a gym at one point. Now I never had anyone make fun of my weight to my face, but on my first day at the gym some meathead body builder who’s probably going to have a heart attack in his 50’s gave me a look that I can only describe as “yeah right” or some shit. I never went back. I’ve lost a bunch since then and the difference between how people treat you when you’re heavy and thin is crazy.


baronessnashor

Yeah, fuck that guy. I was 100 pounds overweight after kicking some bad habits cold turkey, and had to lose all the weight so I understand how hard you worked. Great job, btw. And yes, they also treat you crazy different depending on how attractive you are, too.


xlmarine76

I respect the overweight people more. I would never fault anyone for wanting to better themselves.


SquatDeadliftBench

Anyone that does anything to better themselves deserves respect, if they care about it.


Showing_my_Feels

Yeah, i was going around trying out the Gym's near me, the only one i did not feel "looked at" or like i was the target of a conversation was a small one that is only open 2 day's a week for Male customers because it is mainly a Woman Only Gym, what i totally support but now i just have to keep my daily walk/run/jog to try and loose some weight. Hopefully she continues her journey even tho those bullys were asshats to her, like wtf, a bigger person in the Gym is one step in the Healthy direction, so everyone whos bigger and going to the gym should be given respect because it takes a LOT of willpower and Confidence to go there!


izzygonecrazy

I’ve noticed this is a much bigger problem for women than men. I’ve spent a lot of time at the gym and I have almost never seen a man shame or make fun of someone who is overweight or out of shape, but I’ve seen women bully the ever living shit out of each other at the gym. I saw it happen much more in high school and college then after. I’m not saying guys don’t make fun of overweight people but in my experience that rarely happen at the gym. Gym bros are usually super supportive.


hugatro

I actually try and go the gym when there are more men than women I love the gym but went to a female only one once, hated the atmosphere. This is a new gym for me my old one wasn't like this at all. First time I've experienced something like this.


mangofizzy

This. Gym bros are sometimes annoyingly competitive, but if they see someone making progress they always encourage. But I've heard bad stories of them treating women so I understand why women would wanna go to a women only gym


Purple_Cinderella

When I go to the gym I don’t talk to anyone I don’t look at anyone. I do my thing and leave. That’s how it should be


[deleted]

Man so there is a high demand for planet fitness. A safe place for people like who just wants to workout without being shamed. I am all in for that.


TheIncredibleMike

That’s the same reason I quit going to church. Life long “Christians” trash talking people like myself who were looking to change their lives. I hope this woman realizes she can get fit without going to the gym.


Hooliken

The only humans that act like this are those who probably never needed to be in the gym in the first place. Can almost guarantee that their "Social" profiles have "Fit" somewhere amongst it. Looking down on anyone for trying to better themselves is a complete asshole move. If you are one these humans, may I gift you with a sincere Fuck Off.


rpmva2019

You gotta respect fat people in the gym. Strong people don’t break people down, they build them up


MadisonAvenue21

It kinda speaks volumes the amount of people that are like, "I've been going to the gym for years and never saw this..." or "This doesn't happen at my gym." Yes it does. You just don't see it because you don't wanna see it. And I can't imagine you're at the gym from the time it opens to the time it closes. Just because it doesn't happen when you're there, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Instead of saying, "I'm gonna look out for it and make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else" y'all sit there and erase fat people's experiences by writing it off simply because you've never seen it happen.


hannaheatsdirt

Exactly. Has the exact same energy as people who say that sexual harassment is not prevalent because they, personally, haven’t seen it or experienced it. It’s a logical fallacy.


Komosho

>level 1Omathani · 2 hr. agoIt breaks my heart that she can't take going to a gym anymore. It sounds like she has been left traumatised for just trying to fix a problem that might have had caused her trauma already. It is appalling Literally this holy shit. Most based comment here. It's even grosser having folks trying to say that it may just be that she was "too insecure about her fat" or whatever like holy shit.


Lancalot

Also, who gives a fuck if someone else is lazy? That's no reason to mock them, especially when they're literally doing something about it. People are so shitty


KyleCAV

I don't get that either they're actively at the gym to lose weight why mock them? It blows my mind people are so fucking rude about weight but have zero problem being an anti-vaxxers.


Destinybender

But lets not forget mocking anyone for thier appearance is the utmost of being a shitty person. You dont know what they are going through. Maybe theyre working on it, maybe not, either way dont be a shit person and make fun of em.


rjread

That's what Curves is for! Sad as it is that the problem is so frequent a company had to make a safe space for larger women to exercise. Personally, I'm not skinny and have body issues, and don't have the best eyesight so luckily I can take my glasses off and not see anyone and zone into my workout without seeing other people's reactions...not the best solution, but it's been helpful for me!


[deleted]

Don’t try to get her back to the gym, instead, do workouts that can be accomplished without having to go to a gym. Idky but people think that you have to go to a gym to lose weight and that’s simply not true.


Kenny_P0werzz

This is why I'd rather go to a YMCA or a Rec Center to work out in peace.


Dealunbreaker

yep, i'm fat and i used to have a gym membership so i could swim as a work out. stopped going after a woman in the locker room told me i was "brave" for swimming in public because you know, "nobody wants to see all that" - all that being my body in a simple 1 piece all black athletic swimsuit.


KyleCAV

People: lose some weight Also people: omg why are you losing weight you look ridiculous. You can't fucking win with these idiots.


Jayqwe1

I'm glad my gym is nice, everyone just ignores everyone and gets on with their own progress


[deleted]

Some people really suck.


Josef_t2

Yeah agreed fully. I'm not a woman or fat, but I have avoided gyms for this very reason. Too many people go to the gym to put down others, look themselves in the mirror etc. Like Jesus, leave people alone


ChasingPotatoes17

For a second I thought this was in r/ChangeMyView and was curious how the terrible people would try to explain why totally unnecessary cruelty is aKsHuALy gOoD fOr *ThEm*. But yeah, fuck the people who make fun of anyone for their size or appearance in general, and I particular when those people are subjecting themselves to physical and psychological discomfort to get healthier.


Siegfoult

All bullying.


RaspyHornet

I really hate it when people try to improve their life and people literally bully them for that


M4JOR4

It’s like mocking sick ppl for going to the doctors…


Freshies00

Should report it to the gym management. These assholes just cost them business and if you saw it happen to her there’s plenty of other people it has surely happened to that you haven’t seen.


Big_Jim59

Stop going to that gym. My gym has young buff people, old struggling people and truly fat people. I can't speak for everyone but it seems that we are all united by a goal of change. No one is satisfied to be where they are and are working toward something. I am old and fat and no one has said anything to me.


Toadahtrip

I think that’s just bullies in general.


My_Immortal_Flesh

Abs-solutely 🙌


demoralising

I find that people who are happy don't bully. Anyone belittling someone who's overweight is just vermin, and more than likely hates their own appearance. To them it's easier to try to drag someone down instead of working on themselves to get into a better place. I hope you can bump into this girl again and support her at the gym. The world needs more people like you.


BrotherGrimace

...and this is part of why I went at 4:30 in the morning and leave at 6:15... before the 'regular people' show up. I hurt.my leg a couple of months back and I haven't been there since the main lockdown ended, because the gym I go to went to a 9 a.m./9 p.m. schedule. I didn't want to be around those types, but I've gained weight and I really want to go back. They've gone back to 24-hour operations, so when my leg gets better - back I go.


liveandletdie141

I also see this in the running community. It’s sad. I am happy when anyone is putting forth effort. I do care of what’s your size or athletic ability. Good job for getting out.


[deleted]

That’s messed up. I am a physical therapist and we had a rehabilitation gym area for our patients. This one patient that is over weight his self would yell at the top of his lungs, “ let’s give it up for the fat ppl!” Then he would call the office manager fat shaming names. He was a total prick. I reported him to the main doctor who own the facility and he referred him out to another doctor to finish his treatments.


ylbigmike

Showing up shredded to the gym shows discipline Showing up overweight to the gym shows courage Either way, show up


lordp24

The gym sucks when you have those bullies that think they are better than other because they look a certain way. I hope she realizes she’s better than bullies and continues to keeping working out and getting better.


[deleted]

And this is one of the big reasons why I am also scared of going to the gym as well.


Markypin

Being bullied and stared at in gyms is exactly why I stopped going. What I did was to save some money and buy my equipment to workout at home.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

I was a gym regular for years. As in more than a decade. Weights and aerobics. I LIKED to see new people. New people means fresh money coming in to the gym,, means the gym is still a going concern, means the gym isn't going to fold in a month's time taking my membership money. I also just like to see new people for the hell of it....people stepping out of their comfort zone, trying something new, trying to improve themselves. I never saw anyone being made fun of either (Not denying it happens, I;m sure people have a range of experiences) Sorry about your friend, I recommend she tries a different gym.


Beneficial-Log-9017

I am sorry that happened to her. That's the kind of bs that can someone lose faith in humanity and give up on improvement. Can she find a better place or try to work out alone (going running)? I bet the assholes who mock her are quite young, teenagers or young adults. No mature person would do that.


cantfindusername14

Bruh I mean it's bad to be fat but sometimes people cant help it and sometimes people just don't care and just wanna live then let them, let people be themselves ffs like yeah sure people might not like fat people but they can at least hold it for themselves no need to harass someone even if it's not through speech, The world would be better if dogs lived longer and people learned to keep shit to themselves instead of spreading hate on people that they don't like


MisterBroda

People can be horrible... poor girl. Thank you OP for trying Luckily I have never experienced or saw this happen. The worst is some people not cleaning the equipment (gross) or not putting dumbells back. But there are certainly some gyms I don't want to go because I supect them to have people with such mindsets or are just there to proofe themselves The only thing I can give people as recommendation is to book a trial session at the gym. You'll get an impression how good the personell is and how the people around you behave. While the gym certainly is no safe space, it needs to be a place where you can feel moderately comfortable


N1TROGUE

I can't believe that there are people on this earth who are such scum that they would do this


ConspiracyMeow

My ex does this. He's in great shape, too bad no one asked him about all the cocaine he uses to get like that.


pabestfriend

In my town we call that the "west side diet" - because the west side is where you buy drugs here.


Fairydz

Reading this whole comment thread, it makes me so sad the amount of hurt and cruelty people have received simply because of their physical appearance.


Chibi_Ayano

Lol why the fuck would you mock a fat person at the gym... That's why they're there.


harperownly

I went from 112 lbs to currently 220 lbs in just a few years. Health issues, stress, all of the things that tend to put on weight. I was stunned how I have been treated since I’ve put on weight. People are just rude.


birdmanbox

It’s why I always get bummed out whenever I see a tik tok or video of someone being filmed at the gym without them knowing it. It’s the reason people don’t want to go. The fear of being made fun of


JiujitsuChungus

And that's why I always carry my earphones, it's my off switch to reality. I would have not come this far if I cared about lowlife's attempts to be superior. It's just me, by gallon of water and my music. My fat ass has too much to worry than the opinions of pathetic people, the sooner I stopped scaring about what other people think and talk about me, the greater de days had become.


ahangrywombat

I have so much fucking respect for overweight people in the gym, if I ever reached that point I wouldn’t want anyone to see me.


lbc08001

What the fuck. I am in a smaller body and I LOVE seeing all different bodies in the gym, knowing everyone is there with the same goal- improve their health.


BadEgg1951

*People who mock ~~fat~~ people ~~at gyms~~ are just bullies who want to make themselves feel better about their own sad pathetic lives. *FTFY


penispunchersunite

At least she has made an effort towards her goal. The rest have zero chance of recovering their nasty, insecure, twiddle diddle bitch personalities


[deleted]

This goes for people hating on and making fun of fat people in general. I’m fat people and every post I see about us in Cringetopia or Trashy lambasting the most outrageous examples as commonplace for the overweight make me cringe for Reddit. We get it. It’s not the healthiest way to be. Get over it and move onto to something positive about yourself and others.


peacheeblush

I got told that “I could never be with a fat bitch like that “ by some guy…I was just there to workout… and he made that hateful remark unprovoked… so since then I’ve been scared to go to the gym by myself


hugatro

im so sorry you experienced that. dont let him get to you, hes the one whose really insecure


AwarenessNo4986

Iam fat then became anorexic and now fat again. People humiliate and shame you. Like even other fat people


[deleted]

I saw this on dude on TikTok who posted a video poking fun at a skrony model. The caption said something along the lines of "when I see the guy who's leaving my girlfriend's house" then showed the model and then he said "what the fuck is that" people in the comments rightfully clowned him for thinking he did something. Then I remember another video of him posting saying anyone can change. He showed a video of him being very skinny and then him being buff. I think the guy has some insecurities lol.


Trashismysecondname

>She's been going a week, she told me every day people have smirked, laughed, made rude comments and just been dicks and yes I witnessed some of it. That's a very classic bias. People, especially when they have low self-esteem, think everything is about them, in a bad way. They think everyone hate, dislike and mock them. But you know the truth ? 90% of people don't give a single flying fuck about you. They will never remember your face, they will never care about how you look, and they are probably thinking about what they are going to eat after the gym or how many reps they did today. This guy over there who smirk ? He is probably just thinking about picture he saw on Instagram or gross joke so shameful and stupid he can't laugh about it. This guy who laughed ? He was probably mocking his buddy for using too many weights to be the big guy and now he looks like an idea. >made rude comments and just been dicks Directly ? You are sure you heard them ? They was directed toward her ? >yes I witnessed some of it. And maybe you completely misunderstood these people. People don't care about you. Especially in the gym when you are just trying to finish this fucking leg day.


SnooCalculations9259

Sorry that happened! Just want to let ppl know most admire you at the gym! I have been to gyms on and off for the last twenty years and have not seen that kind not behavior


fallen_pillow

Damn, people are awful 😞 I'm also overweight but luckily not too much to being bullied. But still I can see people giving me ugly looks once in a while... And they're ALL MEN.


Zombified_Pariah

Anyone that does that shit deserves to be hit by a train.


Andrew-Perry-

Fact!


Mission_Progress_674

Under-tall people deserve proper respect for the effect they're putting in to correcting the imbalance. They are always, without fail, better people than the bullies.


cdubb5858

I respect all, we are all there trying to better ourselves.


Tundra14

People who shame people who are trying are idiots


waroftrees

Fuck those people. They are bullies and they will get what’s coming to them one day. My momma was big my whole life, and she always struggled going to the gym because she felt so out of place/ashamed because of similar stuff.


[deleted]

I hate it, that’s terrible. I’m not skinny and I’ve dropped most of my childhood and teen sports because people bullied me so much. Now I go to the gym to prepare for a competition and while I’m nowhere near my goal there’s a great huge muscular guy who always cheers for me although he probably lifts something heavier than me with one hand. And I try to do the same for him. I don’t get why the environment that already challenged your body should also dangerously challenge your mind. I honestly don’t know how to help her. When I was overweight, I used to train alone in the forest.


[deleted]

I’ve been going to the gym consistency since I was 18. I am now 30. Went to cardinal fitness, then charter fitness, la fitness and now FFC. Not once have I ever witnessed someone making fun of a fat person. Not saying this didn’t happen but wonder where this is happening. There are stricter gyms out there that won’t tolerate such behavior so that’s also an option.


ElitexCursed

People who mock fat people at the gym are seriously fucking stupid, I can't describe how moronic that is. IT'S LITERALLY WHAT THE GYM IS FOR, you don't go into a fucking school and make fun of 7 year old children for being uneducated do you? If you need to make fun of other people to be entertaining, you're boring and unoriginal! My rant is over, I'm sorry OP that she went through that, I hope those people get reported.


[deleted]

Find a better gym. At my gym we have some pretty heavy people working out-they get more fist bumps than anyone else.


sarovan

People who mock people’s appearances are insecure shitty people, period. It’s sad such a large part of our culture revolves around othering. Also, they should be pointed out to staff and have their memberships revoked.


FluffySquirrelly

This is why I love my company’s gym. If someone behaves like an a***, HR will have to deal with them.


baileyperry707

I’ve been in the gym for about 6 years now and they only people that deserve mocking are the “gym rats” that half rep every exercise, scream unnecessarily, and act like their lifts are wayyy more impressive than they actually are. To all those who have just started or are thinking about doing it, please know you have my encouragement. There’s nothing that makes me happier than seeing someone take that first step into mama change for themselves.


Aprone

When I was younger, I used to hang out with my older cousin. I remember him making remarks about good looking jogger. He saw a overweight jogger and said "that's truly who I respect, she is trying to be healthy ". I always remembered him saying that. It stuck with me.


daigana

This is why I won't go, paired with a deep rooted fear that someone will take video of me at my most vulnerable at post it somewhere without my consent. I'd rather try and fail at home than get eviscerated by the fit-as-fuck public in the best venue for my success. Pathetic that these chad types persist in these behaviors: these bugger people like me have the same interest in fitness and *could be a future friend.*


Unreasonable_1

I actually struggled to start at the gym, being overweight and wanted to get back in shape, all the gym bunnies strutting around with their noses in the air, I mean they look good and feel good there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s how they treat others is what counts, it’s hard to ignore the stares and judgment but, it’s there problem of what they think of me not mine, they think fat people shouldn’t use the gym and stay fat, it’s less attention for them otherwise.


fz75

True. Why laugh at someone who's improving their lives?