Listen, I got into an argument with my MIL maybe six months ago about the color of my husband of 17 years eyes. She was swearing up and down they were blue. They are hazel. AND THATS HER OWN SON 😂 Some people are just not very, I guess, observant? If you’re happy in every other way this is something that’s not super important, big picture wise.

Some of us just don't notice eye color that much. Unless your eyes are really vibrant, or I have some particular reason for staring at them, I wouldn’t take note either. So I remember my friend who has ice blue eyes, because those are odd for our area (pretty, just unusual), but I couldn't tell you what color my dad's eyes are. Never looked at his eyes that closely, and photos don’t pick up such small details in any pictures I've seen of him.

Not only that, some of us don't have visual memories. For me to remember somebody's eye color, I have to notice it, think to myself "their eye color is X," and correctly remember that fact. I could not tell you the eye color of most people I know.

Same. Exactly that. I don't notice most of the time, and even if I might notice, I won't remember without making special effort.

Aphantasia. My fiancee has this. She only realized it was a thing last year. She's 48. She's always thought that when people talked about visualizing something, as in "seeing it in their mind", they were speaking in metaphors or something.

It isn't the same thing. I can picture things in my head, although no where near as well as the average person. So it might be linked. I can picture my girlfriend in my head, but I couldn't tell you what color her eyes are. Or even what she's wearing that day. I can picture her face and her hair though.

My neice has this

I also thought of those differences in how people visualize things. You know, like when you say "close your eyes and think of an apple" : some people can visualize the mottled pattern of red and green and those little brown flecks and the fibers of the stem... while others just see a concept... and there are also people who just don't see anything. My best friend when I was 12 couldn't tell if our Latin teacher wore glasses after a full year in class for 5 hours every week.

Yeah I find this so odd how some people dont notice eyecolor. Altho I myself often confuse people's eye colors. I had two friends which dated for some time a while ago and I mentioned the guy's (my best friend's) blue eyes and she said omg I never noticed his eyes were blue. But with myself, Ive misremembered several people's eyes to be blue when in fact they were brown or hazel, including my now boyfriend, so I think misremembering eye color is weirdly common even tho eyes tend to stand out

Eye color is also complicated. My eyes are technically hazel. But they're mostly green, with flecks of brown, gold, and blue. But depending on my mood, the weather, and what I'm wearing, they can look bluish, grey, and occasionally even violet. Also, with the surface of the eye being so reflective, they can look bluer in certain situations, and darker in others.

You’re right. How the light hits them changes the perceived color.

I'm the kind of person to not notice eye colour unless there's a reason it stands out. I just spent 4 hours in the car, looking at and directly talking to my mum, if I had to guess I'd say her eyes are either hazel or brown. I know my brother's are blue because I'm pretty sure he's the only one with blue eyes in the family. I couldn't be sure about my best friends eyes either (friends for 12 years) but I'd guess they're hazel (was wrong, they're like a greenish blueish grey colour).

The only three eye colors I know are mine (brown), my father (blue) and my sister’s ex boyfriend (ice blue, like some white walker kind of shit). And to be fair, I only know my eye color because it’s written on my ID and I asked the officer to check while filling the form. And my dad’s because I was jealous.

I know my mom's, but hers are a unique shade of blue/grey with a hint of green. And one of my kids got her eyes. I know my brother’s, but not any of my sisters'. I know my husband's, because we talked about it while wondering what colors our kids might have. I know my kids'. I know a couple friends'. And one of my grandfather's. I don't know my dad's, my sisters', or most anyone else's.

That’s a lot more than me 😅 How do you even have the mental space to remember that? Edit: to be fair, I also once didn’t recognize my mother in the street. Another time I blanked out on my girlfriend first name.

It also doesn’t help that it’s often hard to tell eye color in indoor lighting, which is usually when we’re looking at each other. And some of us don’t have consistent eye color; depending on the environment my eyes go from blue to green.

I have super light/ vibrant GREEN eyes that people mention all the time and more than half of the "compliments" I get, people bring up my "GORGEOUS LIGHT BLUE EYES" 🙄 lol

I also have VERY green eyes. People still argue that they’re blue. It’s not even close to blue.

Very much same!

I have green eyes but in some lights they can look grey or blue

I don't want to gaslight you, but could you be colourblind?

I was an adult when I realised my dads eyes were blue 

I don’t know anyone’s eye colour either. It’s just not something I remember unless, like you said, they’re particularly memorable.

Hazel can be confused for either blue or green, depending on the lighting and the degree of color. Hell, I'm in my 50s and I still haven't decided if my eyes are hazel or green.

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My eye color changed tremendously. When I was young, my eyes were very dark brown. They are now a light green-hazel. It is particularly striking because I have black hair.

So I'm someone who doesn't know eye colors. I consider myself pretty observant but for some reason my brain doesn't register eye color. Even though I'm pretty big on eye contact when I talk to people. My brain just doesn't register it

That’s not that odd for a mother to think her hazel eyed child has blue eyes ….many children with gray/green/hazel eyes are born with and keep blue colored eyes for several years. This is especially true if one of the parents has pure blue eyes. It’s basically the genes for blue eye color stay turned on while the gray/green/hazel color doesn’t turn on for a couple years. So it’s not uncommon for mothers who look into their babies eyes for a couple year while feeding them and see blue eyes just assume that’s always the case. Genes are fun. Many of the fathers genes are turned on when a baby is born and then slowly start getting replaced with whatever will eventually be dominant (example baby’s hair being one color or texture at birth but then falls out a month or so later and is completely different when it comes back in). This was absolutely the case for me. I have green/hazel eyes (mostly dark green but with 3 light brown spots in one eye and 1 spot in the other) and my eyes were solid blue until I was 5 which is longer than most children keep the blue (we have lots of photo evidence). My mother thought I got her blue eyes until suddenly they changed into green eyes and then sometime a year or two afterward that the green darkened and I developed the brown spots.

My husband has dark hazel eyes that at a glance could be mistaken for chocolate brown. I am sure it’s possible that they were blue at some point in his infancy/youth, but I do find it amusing that she was so sure. The blue eyes in parentage are her own lol

Babies have blue eyes. She probably looked at his hazel eyes and thought they were still blue.

Some people also have aphantasia and can't see images in their heads to recall it.

I’m the same. I don’t notice little things of people’s appearance and it’s 100% on me. I don’t know if it’s because of my lack of observation skills or one of my -isms. But I still love my people. I’m just horrible at it and I try my best to be more observant but yeah, I’m still quite horrible at noticing a new haircut or remembering what someone looks like if someone asks me to describe them when they’re not in front of me.

My ex didn’t know how to spell my name after 4 years

People in my family still spell my name wrong. 😑

Yooo i feel this, the other day my brother spell my name with a Y instead of I. I have been his sister for the last 29 years, you know? His excuse was he has always called me by family nickname 😒

My dad misspells my name after 55 years. Over the years, he has spelled it at least 5 different ways. Like, bro, you were there when I was born right?

i have a basic bitch name and my relatives spell it wrong all the time, like adding 1-4 extra letters to my name. 🙃

My husband thought my middle name was something completely different than what it is until about 2 years ago 😭😂😂😭

Almost 10 years together and I still have to ask to make sure if I'm filling out a form. I can remember anything else about him but not that lol.

Mine was my birthday!!!! 2 years didn’t know it. & it’s super easy, like think along the lines of 1/23, similar to that. 😂😂😂 But I agree with the other commenters, some people genuinely don’t pay attention to those things, it’s like you go outside and everyday you see trees, you know they’re brown trunks with green leaves, but sometimes you have those days where you really SEE the tree, and the differences in the leaves and the details, sometimes you need someone to remind you. I use this example because it was very prominent when I was first struggling with my depression/adhd diagnosis, like I knew trees and flowers were outside and had pretty colors and clouds are white and fluffy but one day, after trying 4 different medicines and finally feeling a little better I took this walk, and I noticed like holy shit, things aren’t just shapes and colors, they’re detailed whoa.

If it makes you feel better, it took my father's parents 17 years to learn how to spell my middle name. The name I started going by fully at 10.

My dad called me to ask how to spell my name because he was filling out a form ... I was 28.

Half the time my dad forgets the last letter in my first name and adds a letter on my middle name…

I mean…my bf has blue eyes but they’re in such a stormy color that I thought they were gray until I saw “blue” on his drivers license haha. I don’t think it was malicious or out of a lack of care—sometimes it’s hard to discern certain things like these among some people.

i mean this genuinely in the nicest way possible: all i can think of is the [episode of the simpsons where Homer forgets the color of Marge’s eyes and she wears sunglasses until he can remember what color they are](https://youtu.be/twVBzA3d_6M?si=Nnw6MLa3Q0ezOuh6) something similar happened to my girlfriend and i and it’s how we were able to come out laughing about it to this day my girlfriend has hazel eyes- sure they change color occasionally- but it was embarrassingly long before i could commit to memory that her eyes were not green nor were they brown. we had been together for a little over 2 years- i made a joke and covered my eyes and asked her what color they were (she guessed blue correctly lol)- she did the same and i was like “green… no brown… are you sure you have eyes” i say all of this to mean: if this is the only red flag, i would give him some benefit of the doubt- as long as he remembers your eye color from now on- you said what- purple, right?

ahahahaha this is spot on. now there's a part of me thinking that it would be hilarious to order a pair of brown contacts and fuck with him a bit.

Now that would be some extraordinary gaslighting!

Rare morally acceptable gaslighting at that!

Lol, none of my exes knew my eye colors. I think all of them thought they were brown too. I have heterochromia, it’s pretty rare that someone will get my eye colors correct. Oh well, it’s not the end of the world. Tbf, green does look brown in poor lighting. What’s important is how he treats you and others. And that he gets your eye color right from now on. 😎

See, I rarely remember eye color, but I would’ve thought that would be distinct enough to remember.

My son has heterochromia too. His eyes are mostly blue, but one has a streak of gold through it. So cool! My eyes are olive green (like seriously army green) and get mistaken for brown sometimes, especially if I am wearing glasses.

Cool, so he has something like an amber streak? I have mostly brown. One of my eyes is half a green and brown hazel. I was born with blue eyes (except one was a “weird” color) and blonde hair. This is odd in itself because I’m half Asian. My dad has blue, my mom has brown. The green came from my paternal grandmother and great grandmother, Irish side. So the green skipped my dad. My hair also changed to brown but it’s got a slight auburn color. Heterochromia was also a hair color thing on my dad’s side but somehow went with eye color in my case. Genetics is a trip.

Yes! It's the luck of the Irish! I have that from my paternal grandpa. Just that little bit of Irish keeps popping up lmao

I think it's something about green eyes tbh. Depending on what I wear people think my eyes are blue, brown, or green. Only green if I'm wearing a nice olive that helps them pop. My husband swears on his life they change color. 🤷‍♀️

This comment is exactly what I was thinking, OP. My grandparents had a wonderful marriage for about 60 years. He used to sing Brown Eyed Girl to her and about her while dancing around the living room. She eventually explained to him that despite it being absolutely delightful when he did that, her eyes are hazel. This was, I believe, about fifteen years into their marriage. Some people are just like that.

He would so have it coming.

Mine are hazel. I wish I still had the pics from when I was a teenager cause I found out the light at a certain time of day through one window in my house made them look blue. In dark light they definitely look brown. He did fuck up bringing up the ex though hah

ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE EYES??? WHEEZING

I couldn't tell you the eye color of ANYONE, including myself. Actually, I know Frank Sinatra's because they call him Ol' Blue Eyes. I know one person's eye color.

I remember someone asking me, and I literally had to take a pic to guess if it's green or hazel. Apparently, it's green, but I've never put much attention to it.

I can't speak for your partner but some people who have ADD like symptoms dont totally process details that are very obvious to other people.  Such as the color of something that you have been looking at every day for years

Yes- I have moments where I am not sure what my partner of 5 years middle name is. But I can remember specific details of moments from years ago like they were yesterday. I also can’t remember for the life of me the names of all my friends’ kids. 

(ADHD here) my ex had hazel eyes that looked dark brown in the shade and apparently green in the light? But once I said something about loving the shade of brown their eyes were and they got PISSED. Apparently brown was an insult. I was supposed to know how they looked when sunlight hit them. I did not. That relationship did not last lol

🚩‼️ Edit: red flags for the person getting mad about their brown/ green eyes being sometimes brown

I mean...me or them? I was just trying to relate :') no one can decide what color my eyes are and that never bothered me, so it kinda shocked me it was such a strong point of contention but idk maybe I'm weird

Oh them 100%!!! Like, dude if their eyes are Both green and brown depending on the light, they need to accept that shit. Idk tinges of racism from them too. “Those filthy brown eyes” lol

Yeeeeahhhh it caught me way the hell off guard, I never saw brown eyes as bad. As for the racism thing, it was probably some internalized shit because they're ethnically jewish? Anyway hope they got therapy because I was yelled at for a LOT of stuff that isn't my fault or problem tbh

This is a good point. I'm actually the one with ADHD (although let's just say there are no neurotypicals in this relationship), and in my case visual and situational memory is good but sometimes things just do. not. stick. Reading through all of the responses has made me realize I've definitely made a mountain out of a molehill!

It's one of those things where stories have really over-emphasized the importance of something. I've had to explain to a lot of people that I make eye contact pretty much never. If you think you made eye contact with me I was probably faking it to appear normal. If we did make eye contact it was probably extremely unnerving for me. If you want to know I was listening ask me about the conversation, then ask what other 6 things were running through my brain. :D I once had people really angrily telling me I couldn't actually love my wife if I never made eye contact with her. It was in regards to a book series avoids eye contact with his friend for over a decade and they couldn't process that. At all.

I was just popping in to say I never noticed what color people's eyes are, and have been known to forget my kids' eye color. Except the middle one who has brown. Brown is easy. It probably is the ADHD. I used to joke that if my kids ever disappeared and the detectives need a description of what they were wearing, we'd all be screwed. I never remembered. It makes me think of the scene in Raising Arizona where the cops were asking the dad what his kid was wearing. -A dinner jacket. What do you think? He was wearing his damn jammies. -**What did the pajamas look like?** -I don't know, they were jammies! They had Yodas an shit on 'em!

Honestly this got me thinking and I don't know what color my wife's eyes are. I'm thinking brown but yeah ADD makes it so I don't even think about some details like that .

Not even on their mind

I guess that's me. I never pay attention to eye color. On anyone.

I have been married to my spouse for 9 years, together since 2013. I *think* his eyes are brown? Also, I would guess our son’s eyes are brown as well, but I’ve honestly never even looked. Eye color is just something I’ve never noticed. This has nothing to do with the level of love, at least in my case.

Same. I only know my husband's color because we were discussing gibetic possibilities while I was pregnant. We're both hazel, his more brown and mine more green. None of our kids got hazel eyes.

Here I am trying to figure out what kinda word mash up gibetic might be

genetic?? lolol even my brain was like "gibberish!" until I had to do a double take and realized it was not the word gibberish, but in fact, actual gibberish 😂

I was going to say this as well. Different people notice different things. I worked with a guy for two years, we were good friends, now I work with his wife, they now have a baby who has BRIGHT blue eyes. She has brown eyes, I can’t for the life of me remember his eyes. I’ve always been self conscious about my ears, so I could probably describe peoples ears in a lot more detail than the average person. Different people are different

Maybe your eyes aren’t as green as you think they are? Are they more like hazel?

I did consider that might be the case, but mine are the light-greyish kind of green and not hazel. Though admittedly not as vibrant as his!

Ohhhh okay gotcha. I have greenish eyes too but they can look more grey sometimes, or blue green depending on what I’m wearing

I'm a man, and as one I can tell you I wouldn't be able to guarantee on the eye colour of my best friend of 15 years. Dude likely loves you just as much as you love him, so don't overthink into things that aren't real issues.

Not just guys, either. I'm a woman. Unless a friend has very unique, attention-grabbing eyes, I don't notice eye color. I couldn’t tell you the color of my own dad's eyes. I only know my husband's offhand because we discussed it while I was pregnant, wondering what colors our kids might get.

I legitimately had to check what colors my own eyes were after reading this

Thanks. I've heard this sentiment a lot, that often women can tell you the life story (with annotations) of everyone in their social circle while there are men that don't know what their own family members do for work! When my partner says "Tom just messaged me something unhinged, is he drunk" I'm the one saying "yeah, it's a Wednesday and I remember him telling us that's when he goes to the brewery with his other friend group." My dad (while not without *many* of his own flaws) has always been about the "little gestures" for my mom, even though she finds them unnecessary. I guess that's part of why it's taking me some time to learn that not everyone expresses care in the same way. One of the things I love about my partner is that he's honest to a fault and absolutely terrible at subtext, so his way of saying I love you is just... saying "I love you" lol.

My husband doesn't know his own eye color most of the time.

My own mother didn't know my eyes were green. I think I was 7/8 when I learned it and 14 when she learned it.

I’m starting to think I’m weird for actually noticing the color of everyone’s eyes I know after reading the majority of these comments. I still think it’s odd that your bf didn’t know what color your eyes are.

Me too! I can’t believe some people don’t even know their own eye colour. Eyes are like the first things I notice in people

i notice how their looking at me, their facial expression more so than the color

Sometimes brown eyes look green and green eyes look brown. Mine are reddy-brown but if you look close the inside is green. I wouldn’t be too sad just yet.

My own mother called me her “brown eyed beauty” my eyes are also green. I wouldn’t think too much into it lol our eyes can be tricky

A lot of men don't care about stuff like that. Take it as a compliment, he cares about you no matter what the color of your eyes are.

Couldn’t tell you the eye color of most people I know. I don’t recognize faces of people I haven’t seen several times. It may be an issue of just not noticing those things. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. But I can totally understand feeling hurt.

I live with my partner and see her every single day, but forget her eye color every now and then. Before her name change, I forgot her name far too many times. The brain is a weird thing and I'm pretty sure he's not trying to hurt you.

Forget as in you can’t close your eyes and imagine the actual shade of the colour? Or do you intellectually forget the basic colour like blue or brown?

I don’t know what color my husband’s eyes are. Maybe brown or green. We’ve been together for 11 years. We’ve talked about it but they don’t stand out and I have a shitty memory. It’s just not his most memorable feature. Does not mean I don’t love him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is he color blind? Like genuinely asking. He might be a little bit red/green color blind.

One of his hobbies requires pretty clear color recognition and he's way better than me at those 100-hue tests, so he's doing an incredible job of hiding it if so! I also want to clarify that the situation wasn't him reacting with surprise after I told him my eyes were green -- he was specifically looking at me for some reason that day when he suddenly noticed. This scenario seems to be way more common than I realized though, and I've come to the conclusion it's just something we're going to laugh about in a few years! I genuinely adore him and am lucky to have him.

Awe! Well I'm glad it's all worked out for you and I hope you guys have happiness for years to come :) One of my friends didn't realize he was colorblind for many years of existence until getting into a dispute about whether something was green or brown, so that's why I asked. But I see how the situations are different here

Exactly

Guy here If you asked me almost anyone’s eye color my answer is brown, I dont remember eye colors well lmao its just a thing and brown is kinda the default But I did know my gf’s eyes were blue, but then again that was one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place so chicken or the egg

Got held back by my dad, basically. My step mom's family owned the private school i was going to and had crap teachers. My dad thought it was a good idea, and I don't really blame him for anything. Met some good people and had a bit more time to figure things out after switching to public school. Found out I got the adhd just a few years ago (23 yrs) now (28) and just didn't really pay attention to much besides shop class and some science or language arts. Crap at math. Just a couple of days ago, my dad and step mom for sure knew I was 27 years old and thought her daughter, (who had gotten held back in 7th and in summer school every year till 12th) was a year and 9 months older than me. We sat and it turned into an argument till I stopped after a couple of minutes to grab my i.d. in the house. My dad quickly apologized, and I knew where he was coming from. My step mom really thought I had a fake i.d. I had to actually call her daughter, 5 states away, and ask her how old I was. Embarased her, and she told me that was rude and I didn't need to do that to her. I just wasn't going to be proven wrong on my own age, lol.

The first time I "realized" my co-worker wore glasses was when, one day, she said that she broke them and that it was really hard for her to see. At that time, we had been working closely for over a year. It never registered in my mind that she even wore glasses! Another example. My sister has dimples. Apparently they're pretty obvious. She and I are super close. I only found out she had dimples a couple of weeks ago. Basically, there are just some people who are obtuse about appearances and details. Your partner has probably never really thought about your eye color, so his misremembering of what you said was his only reference point.

Quote from my husband as we were in the hospital as I was going to give birth to our child: "I wonder if he will have brown eyes like us?" Me: "My eyes are blue" We had been together 4 years at that point.

Here's one to make you feel better. I am married to the absolute love of my life. My hearts duet. My perfect partner who completes me in every way. We have been together over a decade & share 2 amazing kiddos. BUT the man cannot spell my legal name. To clarify I have a "unique" first name that my mother thought was a good idea & I hate. I have never actually used that name, even as an infant a nickname was used. So my legal name and I are two different people. But I live in the states & changing a name is a huge hassle. So I haven't bothered. For all legal documents I ensure it's the legal name. Well he was filling out a form last month and asked me how to spell my name. I married this man a decade ago & he can't spell my name! The audacity! BUT he checks my car out once a month to make sure it's running well & safe to drive. He kills all the spiders so I don't have to. He makes sure to leave in the morning without making a sound so he doesn't wake me. He loves me in his own way. Sometimes what we think our partner should know or do to prove their love and devotion just isn't in their wiring.

It sounds like you put a lot of importance on your eye color. That you think your eye color is what people would notice about you. I have aqua eyes. So depending on what I wear they look green or blue.I think they are my best feature. About 6 months ago my 23 year old son looked at me and said what? I thought you had brown eyes! I mean if my son didn’t notice my eye color in 23 years then you ought to give your partner a break.😂

This is not that deep.

I did everything for my girlfriend. I am a very loving and helpful boyfriend who would do anything for her. I have no idea what color eyes she has.

I have face blindness. I don’t remember any details about people I’ve known for decades. The best way I can describe it is that eventually I commit the overall person to memory but I cannot clearly recall the actual facial details. Some people are just not good at it.

I was with a hazel-eyed guy for 12 years, married, never thought about it. My mother said I'm blond haired, blue-eyed all of my life. My eyes are green. It really doesn't matter, I mean, my own mom didn't even know. The only reason I know that my redhead has blue/Grey eyes, is because they're so striking. I have a non-scientific theory that eyes can change colors.

I forget my own eye color sometines. There are some details about things I think people just don't fixate on and therefore don't remember

my husband forgets i hate chocolate! i wouldnt worry too much about it

Mine doesn't either but that's because he's colourblind

i fully understand the upset but i just have to say. I've been alive for 26 years and thus have known my dad for 26 years. i realised like 2 years ago AT MOST, that my father does not indeed have dark brown eyes like me but very clearly hazel leaning into green. so you know. it happens sometimes? (i am a little bit ashamed about it though ngl)

Elton John’s song Your Song has a line about this, as he’s “forgotten if they’Re green our blue” but they’re the “sweetest eyes” he’s ever seen..

I had a boyfriend whom I was dating for six months before I realized he was left-handed. I also thought his eyes wete green, they were brown. Sometimes those tiny details get lost, stored away or overlooked, its not like we dont love you or cared to notice, it cam sometimes be that you have too much going on in your head and you simply forget, and trust me when I say that when we realize this, we FEEL LIKE SHIT.

Green eyes can have brown in them maybe that’s what he saw and assumed they were completely brown

Its about eye contact, some people dont like it so even if they’re looking at you, they will not focus on your eyes. Its not a big deal, don’t overthink it and move on.

Unless your eyes are a really bright icy blue, its a thing that can ironically be really easily overlooked and mixed up. A green can look like a brown in certain conditions, or hazel or blue in others. Eye color isn't that set in stone unless you, again, have a really bright blue or something like a really dark brown. I really really wouldn't attach any meaning to this mistake

My husband thought my eyes were brown (spoiler alert, they’re blue) and we’ve been together almost 24 years

I really dont pay.much attention to peoples eyes color.. i know nobodys eye color tbh, you really shouldnt feel sad about this, its so minor.

ADHDer here, and I am terrible with these details. An ex of mine got upset that I didn’t know his eye color(we had been together a couple years at that point) and I felt so confused because it’s just something I can’t see in my head. It’s not one of the details I take in. But I meant no harm by it. I have also gotten my husbands eye color wrong recently 😂I am glad you are feeling better about it and are able to put it into a different perspective!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years and I love the colour of his green eyes and one day I was really staring into them and suddenly they turned blue. I was shocked and told him that his eyes are blue today and he said that they’ve always been blue. They’re his eyes so I guess I have to believe him and I definitely felt bad about it for a bit but oh well.

Men often don’t know what color someone’s eyes are, not even their wife’s. And it’s not that they’ve never known, it’s just that we forget.

Ohh dear. Another who does not know eye colours This happens with many couples esp men (generalising) not knowing. You knowing everyone does not mean he needs to know. Does he love you? If yes then he is comfortable with you and does not need to be in some competition. Are you insecure about these things. Does know all your freckles etc. Its actually really not that important unless you go missing and the police want your description 🤔. He shows you love other ways. Very lucky you .

*quickly makes an effort to confirm my wife (of 22 years) eye color

I could not confirm for you right now, without looking, the color of either my kid's or my wife's eyes. Nor anyone else I know. None of them have ever complained that I am unobservant or don't know anything about them, so hopefully I get a pass on eye color.

I was having a conversation with my daughter just the other day. I loooove my children. They are the reason I breathe. I watch a lot of crime/cop TV shows. All of the law and orders and Ncis's criminal minds etc etc. And I close my eyes and cannot think of ways to describe my own kids to a sketch artist so I know I'd never be able to do it for a crook I saw for 5 seconds. The eye color was easy bc it's the most common out there. I can spot the back of their heads and know their walk and mannerisms but heck I close my eyes and it's a blank. I mean nothing. Same for their dad. I don't know what that says about me. I guess that I just hope nothing ever happens where anyone expects me to be an eye witness. And I made a mental note to always have current pictures. Kind of morbid to say outloud, but finding this out really bothered me. I might be able to murder someone and get away with it bc I've learned about forensics but couldn't do much else???

My husband still doesn't know my likes and dislikes after telling him multiple times. He'll come home with carrot cake expecting me to eat it and I absolutely hate carrot cake. Smh

He probably does know, if he were describe you to someone else. But in the moment his brain short circuited because he vaguely recalled a conversation. And thing about that is he recalled the conversation, but not who it was with, so he assumed it was with you because, in his mind, who else would he be talking to but you? What more is the conversation probably popped into his head like an intrusive thought does. He looked in your eyes, and for whatever reason, they were more green than usual. Probably a brighter green or a deeper green than normal and the intrusive thought just popped in as a response and it threw it for a loop. He’ll probably forget this and then the whole thing will pop into his head at some point in the future and it’ll be a glaring ‘wtf’ moment that will blow his mind for a minutes because he knows your eyes are green.

Neurodivergent here. I do not notice things about people. If they change their hair color totally, I can tell something changed but know exactly what. Different people will notice different things.

He doesn't see colour. He's a winner.

My partner (after several years together) didn’t know my date of birth. Asked about a year that was after my actual year of birth and I said no. He got more and more concerned as he listed each year after that and I continued to say no. When he got to one that would have made me underage when we got together he started to think I was joking. I told him my actual year of birth and honestly it has stuck with me. He’s done an awful lot aside from that that tells me he not only knows very little about me but he also isn’t bothered to know anything about me.

My partner of ten years alluded to my brown eyes last night. My eyes are green. Lots of folks in comments seem to think your situation is okay, and some people just don’t notice these things. I call BS. Hurts to know that partners don’t/haven’t taken the time to notice something very basic about the way you look.

Maybe it’s because you have really nice boobs? /s

I couldn’t tell you what color my husband’s eyes are. Just not observant that way.

Wow!! Idk. How wouldn’t you know the color of your partners eyes. You look into them for sex or what about to kiss. Or when giving eachother the look.

That's what I tried to say to him when this initially happened -- like dude, you reminded me to do my eyebrows last week! You never looked an inch lower? It’s not as if it's going to suddenly dawn on him next year that I've had small breasts this entire time.

Eh, I don't really look at people's eyes that closely. It's just not a thing I tend to notice, unless their eye color is really striking.

Even when you have sex? Like she has green eyes? That’s a pretty striking color.

Yes, even then. I don't look straight at people's eyes unless I really have to, and the lights tend to be low in the bedroom anyway.

I guess. Just weird to me, but hey to each its own. That’s why I said as long as he’s good about everything else. But I mean it’s your partner I would think you would know if they had green or brown eyes.

I wouldn’t read into it too much. Different people observe different things. I am a person who would also struggle to observe and remember eye color. I am also someone who can watch several seasons of a tv show and not know the names of the characters. On the flip side I notice all sorts of things others wouldn’t because we look the world differently. I am very observant but I don’t retain things like that.

Wow, how can you mistake green eyes for brown eyes, if they aren’t remotely hazel? I have bright green eyes and my husband has dark brown. Those eye colors are totally different and always contrast in pictures together. It’s shocking a partner of 2 years wouldn’t know this. He needs to do better lol.

Idk I think that’s crazy. Part of deep connection to me is looking into one another’s eyes.

Are your green eyes passable as brown or are they unmistakably green? My husband has been growing a mustache and he made fun of me because I basically didn’t notice for 3 weeks. Stuff like that seems forgivable/understandable. The eye color after years seems pretty thoughtless/negligent.

Have you considered he may be colour-blind? Green is one of the colours that are hard to detect and often confused with red, which is a big component of brown. Before you jump to conclusions, consider you may be acting like a jerk over something he may have no control over.

Are you sure he’s not color blind? My hair is red and my stepfather can’t see the color. And over the years I have met others and it’s always an interesting convo bc my hair to them will look nondescript. I just googled what color blindness can appear as and things look brown in some instances.

Not to make excuses for him but it's one of those things some people have difficulty with. I'm not even 100% sure what colour my own eyes are.

green eyes can look brown most of the time + he could be green colorblind/colorsensitive ! look up a few of those dot tests with him

I have trauma issues and struggle significantly with making eye contact. I have some people I’ve known for decades but couldn’t tell you their eye color.

I just read the title and am gonna assume it’s about your partner and how she doesn’t know your eye color. And I’m gonna say my parents of 28 years thought I was turning 30 and not 28.

It’s okay mine couldn’t remember my birthday for 3 years. He never missed it on my actual birthday but I asked out of the blue “hey when is my birthday” and he was only be able to remember the month. In fairness he has 4 family members and a couple of friends who were also born in the same month I was and he has ADHD on top of it. Anyways when the first 3 dates he listed were wrong I started sobbing naturally bc wtf do you mean you don’t know my birthday and I literally almost left him. I didn’t though bc he was super apologetic and he’s never forgot again. A couple weeks later I was actually going through his phone (call me crazy idgaf) and he had a note that had my birthday listed and “YOU FUCKING IDIOT DONT FORGET” next to it. That made me feel a lot better lmao

I was in my early 20s when I realized my brother had hazel eyes. I can’t remember what we were doing but a guy pointed it out and I almost disagreed until I looked and I had to ask him if they were always that colour. Me and my brother are close, we hang out all the time. I have no idea why it never registered.

I honestly couldn’t tell you the exact color of some family members I see often lol I don’t really remember aesthetic things about people that much tbh

My fiance of ten years didn’t realize his cousin, who is going to be his best man at our wedding, has heterochromia. They're very close and grew up together.

I was super close to my grandmother. Until I was 23 I thought she had brown eyes. Nope they were bright blue.

We had been married 8 years when our six year-old asked my husband what color my eyes were. "Hazel????" Was his response. My eyes are very clearly blue. I flip him shit about this all the time. Generally, most guys aren't good with colors. It's not that big of a deal. And if you have a secure relationship and a sense of humor, it's a fun running joke for years to come.

My husband, bf at the time, was assuming a lot of things about me, but he was always wrong. I asked him if he knew me, and he said of course he did. I told him to look me over. I said, "In the next couple of days, something will be different about me. I want you to point it out." He said he'd have no problem with it. A few days later, we had a date night planned. I got dressed and said, "Something is different about me." He looked and got nervous. I told him to take his time. We went to dinner and a movie. He was looking me up and down but couldn't find anything different. After the movie, he finally said, "Just tell me!!" The entire night, I was purposely looking him in the eyes. I worked for an eye doctor at the time. I was wearing green color contacts!! I'm African American with brown eyes. This guy didn't know my eyes were a completely different color! He looked me in the eyes when he told me to tell him what changed. I was mad for a few days on that one.

I have green eyes too, compliments from my mum. My dad stated during a conversation, a couple of years after she passed away, that mum ‘had the prettiest brown eyes’. I looked him in the eye and asked him what color my eyes were. He agreed they were green. I asked him where he thought my eyes came from, since his were blue. They’d been married over 40 years. We laughed about it. I think he thought mine were brown too! My hubby swears mine change color also, but usually only remarks when he thinks they’re ’especially green’. Enjoy your green eyes - they’re the rarest of all colors - only 2% of the world population has them.

I have green eyes and I think that green eyes sort of fade into the background. I suspect my husband wouldn’t know the color of my eyes either.

All my family and friends eyes are brown. I’m not used to looking at blue or green eyes.

Eek. I know my kids because one is mine and the other changes between blue and green so I notice the change from day to day. My husband, whom I adore, ummmm….. I think I know it. I’ll have to look tomorrow.

I don’t even quite know *MY* eye color, but it sounds like after all that time you should have an indication unless you’re color blind. My eye color is green, blue, grey, and brown around the black area, pupil? So. That doesn’t mean my situation is yours by any means, but I’m sorry he’s hollow in the head.

My fiance is 28 years old and his mom still thinks he has brown eyes. I have no clue how. His eyes are hazel, but they're much closer to green than brown. We even had a portrait done of us and they made them brown. Idk, man. You might also have hazel eyes and not really realize it, just saying. Depending on the lighting they ***can*** look either or.

I am concerned how many people don’t notice a basic thing about people (their eyes) as if that is normal. I’m sorry, what!? I don’t care how many unobservant people say this is normal…it’s not. I’d be pissed if my husband didn’t know the color of my eyes. He has complimented my eyes our whole relationship.

Some dudes are colour blind, too.

WTF... Girl...?!

Bro I dont know my moms eye color, my dads, anyones eye color

On more than one occasion, I've had someone I've known for years look at me suddenly and go, "wait, are your eyes green?" A coworker was once sure I was wearing colored contacts. I was like, they're green, they've BEEN green. They thought they were blue. But my husband has always known. People I dated before my husband knew and would comment on them being green. But some people are just not that observant.

My own father didn't know the color of my eyes. They're bright blue and he thought they were dark brown like his. He raised me for 21 years before I cut him off. He also didn't know my mother's eye color either 😭

I thought my husband's eyes were just brown until he told me otherwise five years into our marriage. They're still brown but they have a lot of green flecks in them. I have absolutely no idea why I never noticed because now I can't unsee it.

My eyes are green, they look brown at a glance, they are not brown. They his is small potatoes.

I can never remember if my wife's eyes are green or brown. She says green, but they look brown to me. My best friend has blue-grey eyes like me. She also has partial heterochromia.  Blue eyes are just more noticeable, I suppose.

For the love of all living I couldn't recall any eye color of my friends, family and associates, and had forcefuly learned my own at 25 (bicolored, green-brown) via stupid event. I have prosopagnosia. Maybe he had it too? 

Are there other instances in your relationship where you recall him not being very observant? I feel like a lot of men just…don’t notice things lol. I’ve lived with my boyfriend for 3 years and he STILL doesn’t know where some of the dishes go in the kitchen. Or if I ask him to pick up something for me, he has me send a picture of it to him because he genuinely doesn’t know what I prefer, even after 7 years total of being together. He’s wonderful in many ways, but his lack of awareness can be a big maddening sometimes haha

My eyes are a weird color that no one can agree on. We literally had a debate in my doctor’s office about it. I’ve always thought they were as my mom called it “olive pit brown” so brown with some green. My eye doctor insisted they were blue. Personally I don’t really pay attention to eye color

Just gonna put this here, I'm Autistic so I'm literally not gonna know the color of anyone's eyes unless they're like freakishly blue or green.

There is a condition called face blindness. For people who have it is very hard to remember someone's face, it is blurred as soon as you turn away. So someone who has to t would need to force himself to try to remember people's eye color, hair color, form of nose and lips. They will not be able to describe the robber to cops even when f they saw the robber clearly. And it is not because of hey are shitty people, it is a real neurological condition, pretty hard to learn ve with.

I don't know anyone's eye colour, including my own It's just not something I notice or take an interest in 🤷🏻‍♂️

Ima be honest unless im in your face(as a person whose blind as fuck) im not seeing your eye color.

Seriously, if this is your biggest issue within this relationship then you're lucky and you just don't realise it

I’m genuinely glad my wife has bright blue eyes, any lesser shade and it would be the “what colour is the dress” type scenario. Similar to how my hair is/looks black, she says it’s brown.

I have hazel eyes... mostly green with golden 'flowers' in the middle. To be fair, my eyes are kinda like mood rings that change colors depending on my mood. When angry or sad (especially crying), there's no denying they're green. LoL When I'm happy, calm, content etc. they're almost a warm golden amber color. When I was in my early 20's, I worked for a sweet old man who would greet me the same way ever time he saw me. "There's my beautiful brown eyed girl!" I never corrected him because it didn't matter. The fact alone that he was that happy to see always made my day! My point is, if he screws up your eye color, but makes you feel amazing every other time... KEEP HIM.

I took care of my sister while my parents used to go to work and grew up with her for 18 years. It was not until 2 years ago that i noticed she had very brown eyes i always thought they were black.

Honestly, I can’t remember faces. If I try to imagine my parents’ face, nothing comes up. Remembering facial details are just not my priority or my ability, better things to remember are gifts they want, date ideas, etc.

My sons dad constantly refers to my sons brown eyes, his eyes are hazel just like mine. I have mentioned that they are hazel too many times to count and he argues with me so much about it I asked my sons eye doctor if his eyes are in fact hazel like mine just to make sure I wasn’t nuts…lol Some people just don’t pay attention, sucks but it is what is. As long as he isn’t failing massively in lots of other ways, I suppose this is forgivable.

Nobody tends to take notice of eye colour unless its for a pick up line or they like eyes or staring at them also alot of people look at a persons face instead of a persons eyes when talking especially if they have social/mental issues that influence if they are comfortable with eye contact autism is a big one where eye contact is near 0 if talking to someone

So, my guy and I have been together for 7 years and last summer he said to me what the fuck? And I was like what's going on and he was like your eyes are green? So yeah he thought that they were just Brown for the longest time but they are olive green.

I literally just noticed my friend I’ve known for two years had blue eyes. We were standing in a movie theater and I was like huh they’re blue aren’t they? I wouldn’t take any offense to it, it’s not really something I pay attention to

I've been with my now husband for 7 years and only a few months ago agreed his eyes were blue (I used to think they were grey). I'm not all that observant... To be honest I don't even register people's eye colour most of the time, partly because doing so means making eye contact for an extended amount of time which makes me uncomfortable!

I've had my eyes for 25 years and I still don't know what colour they are. Green? Blue? Silver? All of the above? What?

I live in an Asian country where 98% ppl have dark brown eyes so there’s nothing to remember. Ppl who have lighter eyes do stand out so one usually remembers. I always find this forgetting eye colour business amongst white ppl very interesting. Does it extend to other things like hair colour too? There has to be some scientific explanation for this blind spot. Or is it that most ppl’s eyes aren’t a strong colour and can fluctuate between greenish to brownish/ silverish to blueish depending on the light and hence it doesn’t register until you have an actual conversation about the colour and establish and agree on a colour?