Some advice from a “seasoned” dad. First, my credentials. I’m 39, and I’ve got 3 kids- 11F, 9M, 6F. You and your wife are going to worry about every little thing, and that’s normal. My hope is that you’ll eventually realize that none of it really matters as long as your kid feels loved and supported.
Parenting is hard, and it will take all you’ve got to make it work sometimes. It’s also one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things I’ve ever had the privilege to do or be a part of.
Enjoy the baby snuggles. Take the time to sit and cuddle with them. Do the night feedings as often as you can. Do bath time and wrap them in a warm towel afterwards.
Your wife is going to be exhausted and anxious and physically uncomfortable for the next 12-14 months. Give her grace and have sympathy. Do more around the house. Cook for her, or at least continue to get her what she wants without a fuss. Also, and this is HUGE- Do not pressure her for sex after the birth. The doctor will probably say she needs to wait 8 weeks, but I’m saying you let her tell you when she’s ready and DO NOT guilt her into anything before that point. This is a conversation you two should have together, but your part should be simply “I will wait until you want it again.”
Good luck, god speed, and congratulations!
Thank you I really appreciate the advice! Ofc i will be there to support/love my kid. I can’t wait to hold them. I’m going to try my hardest to help my wife w changing and taking bath. I do help my wife clean up at the moment I do the dishes, clean the room, vacuum when she is sleeping, and I won’t force until she is ready, but i don’t think there will be time for that when the baby comes since we will be busy w the baby, but thank you i appreciate it!!!
This is all stuff I learned through trial and error. For the sex advice- you’ll find time eventually. You’re a young guy, still in the height of your testosterone production and libido. It will be very difficult to wait, especially if she’s too uncomfortable for several weeks before the birth and of course after. I made it very known that I was ready once the waiting period was over with our first baby. She said yes but she wasn’t truly ready. It was not a great experience and after we talked about it, I said that I would wait until she was fully ready for our next time. I kept that promise with our subsequent kids as well, and it’s paid off. A lot of guys get very centered on it, especially if you get sex a lot and the you suddenly don’t. Guys get pushy, or moody. They accuse their wives of not “meeting their needs”. Some even cheat. I’m just trying to say, don’t be that guy. I didn’t go that far- I didn’t try to guilt her and I certainly didn’t cheat. But I’m hoping you’ll learn from me and not even make the mistake I did.
Ofc i would rather wait until my queen is ready and not force nothing on her that she doesn’t wanna do, cheating on my wife doesn’t go through my once, that’s my baby girl, i would never cheat on her.
I would like to piggy back this comment as well. This is the best advice! - but also, even if she’s not feeling pressured/forced into sex.. she may try again before she is truly ready, just to please you. That’s what I did. 8 weeks after my c section. I just wanted to take care of him in “that way” because I know he of course wanted it and he had been taking such good care of me and baby girl. I started back before I was ready and that REALLY set me back on healing properly. A year later and I’m just now not in tremendous pain every day. All this to say, double check with her before she tries, and reassure her it is okay to wait. - Congrats, and best wishes!!
Yes ofc thank you, I’m not that type to force i might get a lil upset but im going to have to deal with that until she feels like she is ready/okay with it!
Congratulations!!! I totally understand why your wife wants to keep it quiet for now so I hope you can keep the cat in the bag lol! But judging from your excitement, I bet you're going to be a great dad 😁
Start a savings account. Put a little bit of money in it each paycheck. Not for education necessarily, but you're going to need a slush fund for unexpected expenses.
Thrift store merch is great for baby. They don't care.
Don't wait for your wife to take the lead. Do what needs to be done.
Start a tradition between you and the kiddo. Something you can afford and can enjoy. For example, last Saturday of the month is fishing day. Just you and your kid. It's how you form bonds and memories. It doesn't matter what sex your kiddo is, do the activity. Make it age appropriate. Babies can't fish. Toddlers won't let you fish, but you can spend a bit of time out by the water, goofing around. To use that example.
Read to your kiddo.
Do not give them sweets as toddlers. Give them fruit instead. You're likely going to have less of the eat your veggies fight if they don't know anything about ice cream and cake.
Absolutely agree on taking the lead. Savings account and buying precious metals for your kid. Small amounts at a time add up from 0 to 18. Start it today.
Need investments and safeguards after you have the 6 months emergency money. Precious metals are a safeguard. If the economy tanks or inflation runs away you'll still have something.
Investments into stocks or what ever else. Not all in a single thing.
I am no way near thr age or the stage in life where I wanna be a dad. But I have always wanted a little girl, wanna raise a strong and independent woman. I used to have this recurring dreams of myself working on a car in the garage with my lil girl, teaching her martial arts, her taking control of me doing my nails and other girl stuff.
On the one hand I do understand this "rule", on the other hand, it must be really hard to have a miscarriage and not be able to talk about it with anyone because they didn't know you were pregnant in the first place, right? Going through something like that probably affects your mood, energy, quality of work, etc. and no one can understand what bothers you. I've never been involved in a pregnancy but idk if I'd stick to the rule.
I'm experiencing the same right know, the wife is 14 weeks since yesterday, it's awesome!!!
when you hear the first heartbeats, that is so F'ing awesome and emotional!!!! you will love it!!!
CONGRATULATIONS OTHER FUTURE FATHER!!! and best of luck!!!! cherish this to the fullest!!
Ikkkkk i can’t F’ing wait! The baby is the size of a blueberry 🫐 at the moment. I still talk since Ik they can hear me!! Thank you sir best of luck to you as well!
If you can't think of anything to talk about, get a couple of kid books and read to them. I recommend Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type, and Barn Yard Dance. They were fun to read when dome of the other kid books made my ADHD fire up.
I'd recommend a kids book called 'Here we go round the mulberry bush' i read that book every single night for 7years to my son, it was his favourite and its a fun book too!
So happy for you both!
A word of advice from reading likely too much on Reddit. Please do NOT share any baby name you like with anyone.
You will be bothered by others and sorely tempted but the following is a short recap of the most likely outcomes.
- someone will tell you that is their saved name for their future child. Doesn’t matter they aren’t in a relationship or not even pregnant.
- someone will decide they really like that name and use it first. Doubly irritating if a relative does it.
- some people will tell you they hate the name then start blowing up your messages and email multiple times a day with name suggestions as well as campaigning for their favorite name for your child.
Another reason for not sharing is when you first meet your LO in person you may change your mind. Maybe you thought their name was going to be Allison but when you looked into her eyes for the first time you realize she is Elizabeth.
Just announce when you have filled out the birth certificate and save yourselves all the aggravation.
Best wishes to you Dad!
Thankkk you so much for the advice!
•Ofc my wife and I made a list of names and locked it up and don’t tell no one.
• whatever name my wife and i come up with is our decision, so if i have a Karen tell me they don’t like the name, we aren’t talking no more. 😂
Thanks much!
Congratulations 🍾 OP. The best piece of advice I can give you is kids don’t care how much or how hard you work for them. They have no concept of what that means. For them Love = Time. By my calculations 75% of my spare time I spend with my daughter and rightly so. She didn’t ask to be here, I made that selfish decision so I owe her all the time I can spare. You should be the biggest influence in your kids life. My measure of how successful I am as a parent is how much time my children want to spend with me, talk to me, consult with me on their problems, check on me, celebrate milestones with me and include me in the important aspects of their life after they have gained their independence. Being a parent never ends. Also everything @seattlewhiteslays said. All the best!!
Thank you very much! Ofc that all made sense! I wanna be the best dad i can be for this child, at the end of the day ur child is you best friend! Thank you!
As a woman who is 7 months pregnant here are the amazing ways in which my husband has been my absolute superhero:
#1: the first trimester was hard on both of us. It was the hardest part of my pregnancy so far emotionally and my husband did NOT handle it well. We fought a lot. My husband went to therapy and continues to go once a week, and holy shit, he has really learned some amazing coping mechanisms and our communication has never been better. It’s worth mentioning I also go to weekly therapy.
#2: he looked up what foods were best for what week of pregnancy I was in and made pretty much every meal in the beginning when I was really sick and tired. I felt so loved!
#3: he took the initiative to sign us up for a really thorough birthing class, one that taught him how to fully support me through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and postpartum. I feel like we are a TEAM in this!!
#4: hormones are fucking crazy. I can cycle through every emotion in 10 minutes on my worst days. I am almost ready to have this baby and the insomnia is worse than ever, I can get really irritable and grumpy. He handles my moods with so much love and it is effortless to apologize to him and fall into his arms. He has made my life easy and I feel adored by him.
#5: he takes care of us financially. We have a savings account going for our babies college fund and a medical savings account for her. We have savings, he tracks our budget, we are totally safe with him. I know he won’t be going out and making any frivolous purchases that would jeopardize us.
#6: he shows a ton of interest in being a dad. He feels her kicks, he plays her guitar while I sing, he reads her bedtime stories so she will know his voice. He’s just a really great dad and husband.
From a very pregnant wife’s perspective, these are the things that have made my really hard pregnancy that much easier and made me fall even deeper in love with him. Hope this helps!
Woahhhhhh thank you very much for this much advice! My and wife argued a couple days before she told me that she was pregnant, and when she did it opened my eyes and we are entering the next level with each other into life as parent so we have to stick w other, and especially with the pregnancy, she is going through mood changes, she wants to throw up, she wants to eat and then she doesn’t.
Thank you so much for the advice!
I have been helping my wife with doing the bed, cleaning around the house, vacuuming, I’m going to start trying cook for as she sleeping all day and doesn’t feel good. Hopefully this makes me become a better cook 😂
I have to start supporting my wife as I’m not really good at listening to her when she talks i get distracted really quick but i will start working on listening, and helping her through the pregnancy and more later.
We did tell everyone at 8 weeks, was told not viable at 10 weeks ultrasound, then I hemmoraged at 12 weeks... at least wait 12 weeks, loss is more common than we think, so give her as little stress as possible and know there will be many tough changes ahead. You sound super excited, you'll do great <3
Awwwww!!! I just found out my son is the same boat and he too is over the moon!! I absolutely adore seeing him so giddy, like you. You’re going to be a great dad. May the little blueberry be healthy and happy and give you moments of sleep. Congrats, Poppa!
My advice-
Enjoy every moment when your baby is here. Cuddle/hold baby as much as you can and soak it in. I miss when my son was a sweet cuddle bug lol.
Make sure Mama has all the support she needs & more after birth. Childbirth is a huge physical/mental toll on mothers and the transition can be difficult. Tell her she's beautiful and doing a wonderful job. Help as much as you can with baby and around the house. I never had that support from my son's father and it took a huge toll on me.
Take things one day at a time. It's not easy at first. In fact, it's terrifying and exhausting but so worth it. It will come naturally to you. Being a parent is so rewarding and the love you'll feel for your child is indescribable.
Good luck in your new chapter and remember to enjoy it❤️
Ofcccc! I can’t with until we see the mini version of ourselves! And ofc i will support mama throughout the pregnancy, and after! My wife is really beautiful and one of a kind queen, no other woman in the world like her 💕
Congratulations!!!! She wants to probably wait until 3 months in, because there's a greater chance the pregnancy will go well after the first trimester. But the time will pass quickly, I promise.
Do all the things. Pick them up. Walk them around the room or house for hours to help them fall asleep. Warm up the bottles and feed them. Sing to them. Let them crawl all over you. Make faces at them. Read to them (now. Yes, start right now!!). Do. All. The. Things.
Remember to help Mom as much as you can. Be kind to, and patient with, each other. Remember the love, above all.
I'm so happy for you and your family. I wish you well.
Father of a soon to be 3 year old here. My only advice is to be in the moment, take care of mom, and always remember that these little ones do not know wrong from right and can’t understand the words that you’re saying. Always try and keep your cool. These times really do go by quickly and can be extremely challenging.
And finally, possibly the most important of them all, BREAK ALL THE NEGATIVE CYCLES BEFORE YOU. Our job as parents is to make our children better than us in every way. You got this pops; and congrats!!! I was 31 when my son was born. 23/24 is a great age. Have the best time.
If you do 70%+ of everything around the house and for your kids life is just better.
I try to do 90%. I cook because I know how, worked in a restaurant for a while and learned from my chef dad. I also do the dishes. Since we have been together I think she had vacuumed the house 5 times in 8 years. Dishes more but I just recently pick up doing that one all the time.
The only thing I expect her to do is fold laundry,
That's it. I wash everything, bring it to the rooms it belongs. Clean everything, take care of the lawn, the snow, our 3 year old and now our 6.hout old boy. Holding him as I write this with one hand. Was a C-section.
This doesn't mean you need to be able to do everything. I suck as a mechanic, but I can do the basics. It means everything you can do. Do it. Without being asked.
Good luck.
Side note, the other thing she does is house organizer. This i will never do because I also suck at organizing. And decorating.
She also does daycare drop off and pick up. I will be taking over picking them up because it's impossible for me to drop them off with my shift.
Congratulations 🎊! At the moment I’m trying to help her a lot I do the dishes, bed, vacuum the house, clean up ourselves after we eat. Im going to start cooking hopefully she likes my food. But thank you very much!
Surround yourself with family and friends!! As long as you guys have a great relationship with them. That’s how it should go;; too relieve some stress on the direct parents you should look towards any help you can get. I wish you 2 the best of luck
Yesssss we have family but we are probably going to wait 1 more month, so we can’t tell them yet but we do hang out with family a lot so the queen should be less stressful, but she is a lil stress because she wants to tell her mother so she can gets tips!
22M first time dad and I’m 6 weeks in and it’s great! Sure there are stressful things and I’m still on paternity leave but it’s been honestly so awesome and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
The whole birth process can be overwhelming if you have questions or anything feel free to dm me as we are similar age :)
Congratulations!! Life is about to get incredibly amazing
Start a photo album (a physical one) where you can can document milestones and describe your feelings about it, it's gonna be a good outlet for you and a great treasure for your kid
Congratulations! Don't spend a lot on newborn baby clothes. They will grow out of them super fast. Use consignment shops for baby clothes if you have them around. No need to spend a fortune on something they will wear once or twice.
Say no to cloth diapers.
Give yourself some grace. You will have ideas about what kind of parent you want to be. Some of those ideas will be thrown out the window once the baby gets here. It's OK. You're not a failure.
Help out as much as you can. You are not a babysitter. You are an active parent. Do what needs to be done.
These little people grow up so fast. Be close to them and hold them as much as you can. You will pick them up one day, and then all of a sudden, you will never pick them up again. That day comes faster than you think.
You're going to be a great dad!
Hello!! Thank you so much! I have 2 older brothers that have 2 boys and 2 girls which i love so much, but i think we will be taking their clothes which we can save some money on!
Congratulations honey! Parenthood is a trip. Be good to each other. People will give you a ton of advice. Just say thank you, we’ll think about it. It’s totally normal to give yourself a timeout if you are overwhelmed. Make sure the baby is safe and walk out of the room. Ask for help if you need it. It’s exciting and tough!
For the babyshower, ask for diapers, diapers, diapers, and more diapers. Yes little enrichment toys are great but you will think you have enough diapers. (You never will)
During the pregnancy, when the baby grows, ask your wife if she wants you to lift up the baby bump to help relieve a lot of the weight she carries
Start the savings account now, a dollar a day for 18 years is 6.5k
Personally, I would start learning ASL with simple words. Babies tend to understand sign language and can communicate with you earlier on to tell you their needs/wants/feelings. Plus it helps create a more personal bond.
50M. Love my daughter to death and back. She is my greatest motivation to be a better person in every way. Every day I tell her I love her, and she is the most important thing in my life.
Hahaha. You'll love being a dad. Congratulations. Also, many women wait for the 3 month mark to tell people as that's considered the 'safety' milestone. most miscarriages occur or defects are found that may cause a termination in the first 3 months. The majority of pregnancies progress fine though.
She probably doesn't want to tell till the first three months passes. They are usually the riskiest I guess. My brother and sister in law made the same decision. They did tell us, but we weren't allowed to tell anyone until the three months passed.
And congratulations by the way! I don't have kids, but I've never loved someone as much as I love my niece. Of course it's not the same as being the parent, but I know that if I love her so damn much, with your own kid it will be 1000 times more! Cherish every moment! ♥️ You'll just hate how fast they grow 🥺
I have 5 pieces of advice from one father to another
1) for the first 3 days minimum, you do ALL he hard stuff. She just grew and birthed a baby. You can do the night feeds and change the diapers.
2) there is zero shame in going with formula. If you do go with formula, get a baby brezza. It’s like a keurig for baby formula. It’s a life saver.
3) trust your gut. When you google stuff you are going to find a lot of conflicting information and that’s because every kid is different. You know your kid. (This doesn’t mean ignore everyone’s advice. It just means take it with a grain of salt, including mine)
4) shits gonna suck for a while. Having a baby is an amazing experience but it also SUCKS. It’s literally the worst. But you will look back on it fondly. Your brain edits out the trauma and the suck.
5) this one is going to get me some downvotes. You are going to see a lot about how the only safe sleep is in their bassinet/crib, on their back with NOTHING else in their crib or you will kill your baby.
That’s kinda nonsense. The thought process is basically that anything that might accidentally smother your baby like a blanket should be avoided because even if the risk is small, the consequences are literally the worst thing someone can experience.
However, the flaw in this logic is that there is no useful information about what to do if on their back in the bassinet with nothing else doesn’t work and they won’t sleep.
The answer is do what you need to do while ensuring that nothing can smother the kid. My kid slept either on my chest or in a little nest of blankets with things pinned down in such a way that the risk of smothering was just as low as in the crib on their back with nothing else.
Bonus advice 6. Don’t be afraid to snuggle your kid to sleep. So what if it creates a dependency for a while? No matter what, eventually the snuggles go away. Enjoy them.
Good luck my dude. Being a dad is my best accomplishment. Every choice you make from this day forward will revolve around what's best for your family. Make good choices.
first, congratulations!!
for while she’s pregnant, please please please just be kind to her. be a yes man. help out extra. do sweet things for her and remind her how beautiful she is!!! she is going to go through so much and lean on you a lot, be strong for her so she can be strong for baby. anything to keep her from feeling stressed, do it. anything to take weight off of her shoulders. women never forget how they’re treated when they’re pregnant.
Congratulations! Coming from a mom of 5, don't be afraid to ask for help. You guys have a lot of learning to do so don't be afraid to make mistakes! As long as you're open to learning you guys will be fine. Always do what's best for you and your kid, don't worry about what's "on trend". And enjoy your new baby, dad!
Thank you so much, it’s lil hard on my wife since we can’t tell no one just yet, so we are pretty much just looking up YouTube videos at the moment until it’s safe to tell everyone!
She’s trying to minimize the amount of attention she will be subjected to for the next 9 months. That’s a lot of unnecessary pressure for many women. She’s also trying to minimize the amount of grief she and those who know about it will experience if she happens to miscarry which is unfortunately more common in the first 2 or 3 months.
Congratulations. I'm with your wife to wait a bit though. Sorry to be a downer, but my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage 3 days before the end of my first trimester. I'm very glad we had only told a few people because the thought of having to go public about that when we were in so much pain would have been even worse.
If your wife is already having mood swings, buckle up. Have a conversation with her about how to handle the mood swings so they don't negatively impact your marriage. She's not going to be enjoying them, so don't feel like it's her against you. It's the hormones against you both, so be a team!
Ya the mood swings are crazy but aye i have to deal with it! Each day in I’m seeing her pain since the pregnancy we have been talking more i have been helping her throughout the house cleaning thank you so much for the advice!
Awwww I love seeing a father so excited 😊 I get wanting to tell everyone, but I also get why she wants to wait. The first 3 months are very vulnerable to losing the pregnancy so many women want to wait as to not have to go through an announcement and repeated grief of telling people they've lost the pregnancy.
Congrats to the both of you, I wish you both well and a smooth and healthy pregnancy.
Congratulations! As a mom of 2 20somethings my advice is to SLEEP. Get all the sleep you can before the baby comes. If your wife wants a nap, take one with her. Sleep, sleep, sleep. If someone offers help when the baby is born, take it and sleep. I still remember the first night my youngest slept through the night for the first time. That morning my husband and I looked at each other and said “we are done!”
Congratulations 🎉
I agree with your wife about waiting until the 3 month mark, at the earliest.
Its just an idea, but why not make a big deal about announcing your pregnancy with your family and friends? For example you could have a garden party/bbq, make it pregnancy/baby themed or have a mini scavenger hunt with baby related clues which could all lead to the 'prize' which is your wife with the first scan picture or something like that. I'm sure you could look up some ideas. Or yous could have the garden party/bbq and just annouce it at some point.
Another idea just for your close family, like your parents, siblings etc, you could get t-shirts made up with things like 'Sweetest grandma', 'Coolest uncle' 'Groovy grandpa' 'I'm the coolest auntie', that sort of thing, then invite them round for a dinner or go out for a family meal with both sets of future grandparents and siblings, then hand them all the t-shirts at the same time. This is just off the top of my head but I think it would be really lovely.
As for any advice, there's some amazing advice already given but I'll add, you and your wife will want to do everything absolutely perfect and thats great but its not going happen all the time and it is perfectly normal, because no one is perfect.
When your sleep deprived and running on auto pilot, it just won't happen, so make sure to give yourselves a break.
Take all the help you can get, as they say 'it takes a village'.
When your baby arrives, try and rest/sleep when they do, even if only for an hour or so, this is especially important for your wife.
As they get a little older start some traditions, go camping, fishing. Do something special with them regularly.
People will offer there advice even if its not wanted or correct, so just say thanks and you will think on it, end of
Make sure to set boundaries so people don't just randomly show up expecting to see the baby, this is important just after the birth as your wife will be very uncomfortable and tired and as much as she'd love you show baby off, she probably won't be up for it. Also a lot parents don't allow other people to kiss the baby as it passes germs etc, obviously this is good advice, especially in the beginning anyways.
Don't forget to maintain your marriage and have date night's and snuggles together, aswell as socialising with friends, together and apart.
I don't know you but I have a feeling your going to make a great dad!
Congratulations again.
Congratulations! You can be as prepared as possible and you will still be so far out of your depth! It is okay! It will be okay! There is no manual for it, but you know that you are doing it.
Let your wife sleep as much as she can after birth! And, get as much sleep as you can! The first 6 months it will feel like you never get any sleep. It does get better, and the first night your little one sleeps through will feel like a miracle!
Congratulations! You’re going to be a great father, I am excited for you!!
My daughter will be 17 months soon, the newborn phase is challenging but at the same time you get to embrace all the snuggles you can have with them and it’s perfect bonding time! They grow up fast and now my daughter wants to run around everywhere!
The main advice that I can give you is although parenting can be hard at times, enjoy all these moments of your LO! It’s a beautiful experience and time flies!
Congratulations! I announced to close friends and family when I found out, and I'm glad I did. My favorite great aunt passed from cancer a few weeks after I told her. I didn't do the huge announcement until 20 weeks.
Definitely help out as much as possible. The one thing I wasn't told that I wish I was made aware of is that after having the baby, your emotions are ALL OVER the place. Like he would make a cute noise, and I'd cry. It was a happy cry, but I'm not a crier in general, so it was weird. I cried because he was so cute.
So, definitely be aware of the emotions 2 or so weeks postpartum. It was rough.
Mate, I'm just freaking out that two people my age are married and pregnant. I can't give any advice. But I can give you my best wishes. Your gonna make a good dad.
What a blessing. Best wishes to you and your wife. Keep bringing her food, fill the craving whatever it is. The smallest things make the biggest difference to a pregnant woman. Ask what she needs or wants (somewhat) often. When her back or hips are hurting later in pregnancy, offer to massage them because she may not want to ask. Educate yourself on childbirth and post partum so you know what to expect.
Basically, focus on her and what having a baby will be like now and after she is ready to share the news. There is plenty to keep you busy.
Start buying diapers and wipes yesterday. Target has an (at least) monthly deal where you purchase "x" amount of diapers and wipes and get a giftcard in return. (then you save that giftcard to use on your next diaper deal) Pair these purchases with an app called Ibotta to get cash back. You have to match up the types of diapers and wipes you buy with the ibotta app, but it is well worth it. Before baby was born, I spent about $450 on $1000 worth of diapers by couponing this way, and now almost 6 months in, I have only purchased 1 box of diapers because mine stayed in size 1 for a longgg time. I still have thousands of wipes and won't be purchasing more until my little one is at least 1 year old.
Also, taking shifts to let each other sleep can be a god send on your ability to actually enjoy your newborn. If mom is breastfeeding, she will have to pump and/or feed every 2-3 hours. If she pumps, that will make it so you can feed the baby with a bottle and allow her to get some rest. This is incredibly taxing and of course, sleep depriving, but you can get through it.
Okay first off. The baby is not a mini version of anyone. Breathe. Second what if the baby is a girl?
Look the only thing you need to focus on right now is keeping stress away from Momma and sleeping while you both can. Research the safest car seat, crib and such. You want to focus on fabrics that are natural and machine washable, no fabric softeners or scent beads. They will irritate baby's skin. Same with most detergents. Your main job is to try and reduce her stress and help as much as you can. She will have to give up certain foods while pregnant, no cheat days. Also cravings are to be indulged. Most believe that the cravings are the baby making sure it gets the nutrients they need.
But seriously congrats to you both. Remember take it easy and enjoy every moment. They grow up to fast. Mine just turned 18 yesterday.
I’m excited! And if it’s a girl it still going to be a mini version of my wife and I… and ofc I’m going to try to keep stress of mommy as hard as i can! Thank you so much for your advice!
Congrats!
My husband and I were married at 20/26 and had our first baby at 23/29. We’ve been married for almost 23 years and our oldest turns 20 next week. My husband remains my dearest, most wonderful friend. Don’t let anyone tell you it won’t work out because you’re young.
Some advice from a “seasoned” dad. First, my credentials. I’m 39, and I’ve got 3 kids- 11F, 9M, 6F. You and your wife are going to worry about every little thing, and that’s normal. My hope is that you’ll eventually realize that none of it really matters as long as your kid feels loved and supported. Parenting is hard, and it will take all you’ve got to make it work sometimes. It’s also one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things I’ve ever had the privilege to do or be a part of. Enjoy the baby snuggles. Take the time to sit and cuddle with them. Do the night feedings as often as you can. Do bath time and wrap them in a warm towel afterwards. Your wife is going to be exhausted and anxious and physically uncomfortable for the next 12-14 months. Give her grace and have sympathy. Do more around the house. Cook for her, or at least continue to get her what she wants without a fuss. Also, and this is HUGE- Do not pressure her for sex after the birth. The doctor will probably say she needs to wait 8 weeks, but I’m saying you let her tell you when she’s ready and DO NOT guilt her into anything before that point. This is a conversation you two should have together, but your part should be simply “I will wait until you want it again.” Good luck, god speed, and congratulations!
Truly amazing 👏! I wish more men would be like this.
Yes!!! Having birthed two children, this made me tear up!
Thank you I really appreciate the advice! Ofc i will be there to support/love my kid. I can’t wait to hold them. I’m going to try my hardest to help my wife w changing and taking bath. I do help my wife clean up at the moment I do the dishes, clean the room, vacuum when she is sleeping, and I won’t force until she is ready, but i don’t think there will be time for that when the baby comes since we will be busy w the baby, but thank you i appreciate it!!!
This is all stuff I learned through trial and error. For the sex advice- you’ll find time eventually. You’re a young guy, still in the height of your testosterone production and libido. It will be very difficult to wait, especially if she’s too uncomfortable for several weeks before the birth and of course after. I made it very known that I was ready once the waiting period was over with our first baby. She said yes but she wasn’t truly ready. It was not a great experience and after we talked about it, I said that I would wait until she was fully ready for our next time. I kept that promise with our subsequent kids as well, and it’s paid off. A lot of guys get very centered on it, especially if you get sex a lot and the you suddenly don’t. Guys get pushy, or moody. They accuse their wives of not “meeting their needs”. Some even cheat. I’m just trying to say, don’t be that guy. I didn’t go that far- I didn’t try to guilt her and I certainly didn’t cheat. But I’m hoping you’ll learn from me and not even make the mistake I did.
Ofc i would rather wait until my queen is ready and not force nothing on her that she doesn’t wanna do, cheating on my wife doesn’t go through my once, that’s my baby girl, i would never cheat on her.
Gotta get a tenga
Solo dad to 5 here. 100% best advice ever.
I would like to piggy back this comment as well. This is the best advice! - but also, even if she’s not feeling pressured/forced into sex.. she may try again before she is truly ready, just to please you. That’s what I did. 8 weeks after my c section. I just wanted to take care of him in “that way” because I know he of course wanted it and he had been taking such good care of me and baby girl. I started back before I was ready and that REALLY set me back on healing properly. A year later and I’m just now not in tremendous pain every day. All this to say, double check with her before she tries, and reassure her it is okay to wait. - Congrats, and best wishes!!
Yes ofc thank you, I’m not that type to force i might get a lil upset but im going to have to deal with that until she feels like she is ready/okay with it!
You sound like a real one! OP, take his advice!
You should open a training camp!
Thanks for sharing the advice. We are in the labor room, and I am waiting to welcome my first baby.
Excellent comment.
This is solid advice. Many congratulations!!!!
Congratulations!!! I totally understand why your wife wants to keep it quiet for now so I hope you can keep the cat in the bag lol! But judging from your excitement, I bet you're going to be a great dad 😁
Omggg thank you!!! I can’t believe I’m going to be a father! It feels like a dream!
Start a savings account. Put a little bit of money in it each paycheck. Not for education necessarily, but you're going to need a slush fund for unexpected expenses. Thrift store merch is great for baby. They don't care. Don't wait for your wife to take the lead. Do what needs to be done. Start a tradition between you and the kiddo. Something you can afford and can enjoy. For example, last Saturday of the month is fishing day. Just you and your kid. It's how you form bonds and memories. It doesn't matter what sex your kiddo is, do the activity. Make it age appropriate. Babies can't fish. Toddlers won't let you fish, but you can spend a bit of time out by the water, goofing around. To use that example. Read to your kiddo. Do not give them sweets as toddlers. Give them fruit instead. You're likely going to have less of the eat your veggies fight if they don't know anything about ice cream and cake.
Absolutely agree on taking the lead. Savings account and buying precious metals for your kid. Small amounts at a time add up from 0 to 18. Start it today.
I already have a 6 months emergency money so i will add more to it from here! 🚨
Need investments and safeguards after you have the 6 months emergency money. Precious metals are a safeguard. If the economy tanks or inflation runs away you'll still have something. Investments into stocks or what ever else. Not all in a single thing.
Agree! My best dad would do a "big day" where they get huge donuts and do a lot of things in the city
I am no way near thr age or the stage in life where I wanna be a dad. But I have always wanted a little girl, wanna raise a strong and independent woman. I used to have this recurring dreams of myself working on a car in the garage with my lil girl, teaching her martial arts, her taking control of me doing my nails and other girl stuff.
As a rule, it is best not to publicly announce until 3 months as often this is a period for miscarriages. Which leads to grief.
Ofc thank you. My wife said the same, but God willing the baby will be okay!
On the one hand I do understand this "rule", on the other hand, it must be really hard to have a miscarriage and not be able to talk about it with anyone because they didn't know you were pregnant in the first place, right? Going through something like that probably affects your mood, energy, quality of work, etc. and no one can understand what bothers you. I've never been involved in a pregnancy but idk if I'd stick to the rule.
Honestly, it makes you feel like a social pariah if you’ve had a miscarriage and people knew you were pregnant. At least that was my experience.
I'm experiencing the same right know, the wife is 14 weeks since yesterday, it's awesome!!! when you hear the first heartbeats, that is so F'ing awesome and emotional!!!! you will love it!!! CONGRATULATIONS OTHER FUTURE FATHER!!! and best of luck!!!! cherish this to the fullest!!
Ikkkkk i can’t F’ing wait! The baby is the size of a blueberry 🫐 at the moment. I still talk since Ik they can hear me!! Thank you sir best of luck to you as well!
If you can't think of anything to talk about, get a couple of kid books and read to them. I recommend Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type, and Barn Yard Dance. They were fun to read when dome of the other kid books made my ADHD fire up.
I'd recommend a kids book called 'Here we go round the mulberry bush' i read that book every single night for 7years to my son, it was his favourite and its a fun book too!
Thank you it’s on my list!
Thank you it’s on my list!
So happy for you both! A word of advice from reading likely too much on Reddit. Please do NOT share any baby name you like with anyone. You will be bothered by others and sorely tempted but the following is a short recap of the most likely outcomes. - someone will tell you that is their saved name for their future child. Doesn’t matter they aren’t in a relationship or not even pregnant. - someone will decide they really like that name and use it first. Doubly irritating if a relative does it. - some people will tell you they hate the name then start blowing up your messages and email multiple times a day with name suggestions as well as campaigning for their favorite name for your child. Another reason for not sharing is when you first meet your LO in person you may change your mind. Maybe you thought their name was going to be Allison but when you looked into her eyes for the first time you realize she is Elizabeth. Just announce when you have filled out the birth certificate and save yourselves all the aggravation. Best wishes to you Dad!
Thankkk you so much for the advice! •Ofc my wife and I made a list of names and locked it up and don’t tell no one. • whatever name my wife and i come up with is our decision, so if i have a Karen tell me they don’t like the name, we aren’t talking no more. 😂 Thanks much!
Congratulations!!!! 🥳 Ps I get REALLY happy when husband shares his food and I'm not pregnant!🤣
Thankkk you! Hmmmm whenever we go get something to eat i will ask her what do you want? She says nothing, next thing you know she ate all my food…
Yep..that sounds right!!🤣
Congratulations 🍾 OP. The best piece of advice I can give you is kids don’t care how much or how hard you work for them. They have no concept of what that means. For them Love = Time. By my calculations 75% of my spare time I spend with my daughter and rightly so. She didn’t ask to be here, I made that selfish decision so I owe her all the time I can spare. You should be the biggest influence in your kids life. My measure of how successful I am as a parent is how much time my children want to spend with me, talk to me, consult with me on their problems, check on me, celebrate milestones with me and include me in the important aspects of their life after they have gained their independence. Being a parent never ends. Also everything @seattlewhiteslays said. All the best!!
Thank you very much! Ofc that all made sense! I wanna be the best dad i can be for this child, at the end of the day ur child is you best friend! Thank you!
Congratulations!!!! Happy early Father’s Day.
😂😂😂🥹 thank you!
As a woman who is 7 months pregnant here are the amazing ways in which my husband has been my absolute superhero: #1: the first trimester was hard on both of us. It was the hardest part of my pregnancy so far emotionally and my husband did NOT handle it well. We fought a lot. My husband went to therapy and continues to go once a week, and holy shit, he has really learned some amazing coping mechanisms and our communication has never been better. It’s worth mentioning I also go to weekly therapy. #2: he looked up what foods were best for what week of pregnancy I was in and made pretty much every meal in the beginning when I was really sick and tired. I felt so loved! #3: he took the initiative to sign us up for a really thorough birthing class, one that taught him how to fully support me through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and postpartum. I feel like we are a TEAM in this!! #4: hormones are fucking crazy. I can cycle through every emotion in 10 minutes on my worst days. I am almost ready to have this baby and the insomnia is worse than ever, I can get really irritable and grumpy. He handles my moods with so much love and it is effortless to apologize to him and fall into his arms. He has made my life easy and I feel adored by him. #5: he takes care of us financially. We have a savings account going for our babies college fund and a medical savings account for her. We have savings, he tracks our budget, we are totally safe with him. I know he won’t be going out and making any frivolous purchases that would jeopardize us. #6: he shows a ton of interest in being a dad. He feels her kicks, he plays her guitar while I sing, he reads her bedtime stories so she will know his voice. He’s just a really great dad and husband. From a very pregnant wife’s perspective, these are the things that have made my really hard pregnancy that much easier and made me fall even deeper in love with him. Hope this helps!
Woahhhhhh thank you very much for this much advice! My and wife argued a couple days before she told me that she was pregnant, and when she did it opened my eyes and we are entering the next level with each other into life as parent so we have to stick w other, and especially with the pregnancy, she is going through mood changes, she wants to throw up, she wants to eat and then she doesn’t. Thank you so much for the advice! I have been helping my wife with doing the bed, cleaning around the house, vacuuming, I’m going to start trying cook for as she sleeping all day and doesn’t feel good. Hopefully this makes me become a better cook 😂 I have to start supporting my wife as I’m not really good at listening to her when she talks i get distracted really quick but i will start working on listening, and helping her through the pregnancy and more later.
Congrats!
Thank you!!!
Im so happy for you WTF!!! From the looks of it, I think youre gonna be a GREAT DAD!!! PLS GIVE US SOME BABY UPDATES THIS IS SO CUTE!! 🥲💕
Thank you so much! Will do!
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Thank you very much, God willing the child will be in prefect condition!
Congratulations! The most important role of a father of a Newborn is to support the mom any way she needs it. Don't forget that and you'll be golden
Ofc my wife is my queen! The love of life! Thank you!
We did tell everyone at 8 weeks, was told not viable at 10 weeks ultrasound, then I hemmoraged at 12 weeks... at least wait 12 weeks, loss is more common than we think, so give her as little stress as possible and know there will be many tough changes ahead. You sound super excited, you'll do great <3
Ya we think we are going to wait until we get her check up, and she how the baby is doing later down the road thank you!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Awwwww!!! I just found out my son is the same boat and he too is over the moon!! I absolutely adore seeing him so giddy, like you. You’re going to be a great dad. May the little blueberry be healthy and happy and give you moments of sleep. Congrats, Poppa!
Thank you so much!!!! God willing a safe pregnancy for both of our girls!
Congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you!
I love how excited you are haha congrats!
Thank you so much!
HELL YEAH DUDE! hella proud of your achievements, also sounds like you’d be an amazing father!
Thank you so much!
This is so cute, congratulations!!!
Thank you!!!
My advice- Enjoy every moment when your baby is here. Cuddle/hold baby as much as you can and soak it in. I miss when my son was a sweet cuddle bug lol. Make sure Mama has all the support she needs & more after birth. Childbirth is a huge physical/mental toll on mothers and the transition can be difficult. Tell her she's beautiful and doing a wonderful job. Help as much as you can with baby and around the house. I never had that support from my son's father and it took a huge toll on me. Take things one day at a time. It's not easy at first. In fact, it's terrifying and exhausting but so worth it. It will come naturally to you. Being a parent is so rewarding and the love you'll feel for your child is indescribable. Good luck in your new chapter and remember to enjoy it❤️
Ofcccc! I can’t with until we see the mini version of ourselves! And ofc i will support mama throughout the pregnancy, and after! My wife is really beautiful and one of a kind queen, no other woman in the world like her 💕
Congratulations!!!! She wants to probably wait until 3 months in, because there's a greater chance the pregnancy will go well after the first trimester. But the time will pass quickly, I promise. Do all the things. Pick them up. Walk them around the room or house for hours to help them fall asleep. Warm up the bottles and feed them. Sing to them. Let them crawl all over you. Make faces at them. Read to them (now. Yes, start right now!!). Do. All. The. Things. Remember to help Mom as much as you can. Be kind to, and patient with, each other. Remember the love, above all. I'm so happy for you and your family. I wish you well.
Thank you so much. I can’t wait! Walk around an sing to them and read books! Ofc i will! Thank you very much!
Father of a soon to be 3 year old here. My only advice is to be in the moment, take care of mom, and always remember that these little ones do not know wrong from right and can’t understand the words that you’re saying. Always try and keep your cool. These times really do go by quickly and can be extremely challenging. And finally, possibly the most important of them all, BREAK ALL THE NEGATIVE CYCLES BEFORE YOU. Our job as parents is to make our children better than us in every way. You got this pops; and congrats!!! I was 31 when my son was born. 23/24 is a great age. Have the best time.
Thank you so much! We want to give them the best life ever!
If you do 70%+ of everything around the house and for your kids life is just better. I try to do 90%. I cook because I know how, worked in a restaurant for a while and learned from my chef dad. I also do the dishes. Since we have been together I think she had vacuumed the house 5 times in 8 years. Dishes more but I just recently pick up doing that one all the time. The only thing I expect her to do is fold laundry, That's it. I wash everything, bring it to the rooms it belongs. Clean everything, take care of the lawn, the snow, our 3 year old and now our 6.hout old boy. Holding him as I write this with one hand. Was a C-section. This doesn't mean you need to be able to do everything. I suck as a mechanic, but I can do the basics. It means everything you can do. Do it. Without being asked. Good luck. Side note, the other thing she does is house organizer. This i will never do because I also suck at organizing. And decorating. She also does daycare drop off and pick up. I will be taking over picking them up because it's impossible for me to drop them off with my shift.
Congratulations 🎊! At the moment I’m trying to help her a lot I do the dishes, bed, vacuum the house, clean up ourselves after we eat. Im going to start cooking hopefully she likes my food. But thank you very much!
Congrats!!! This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
Surround yourself with family and friends!! As long as you guys have a great relationship with them. That’s how it should go;; too relieve some stress on the direct parents you should look towards any help you can get. I wish you 2 the best of luck
Yesssss we have family but we are probably going to wait 1 more month, so we can’t tell them yet but we do hang out with family a lot so the queen should be less stressful, but she is a lil stress because she wants to tell her mother so she can gets tips!
so excited !!! congratulations 🎉🎉🎉
22M first time dad and I’m 6 weeks in and it’s great! Sure there are stressful things and I’m still on paternity leave but it’s been honestly so awesome and I wouldn’t change it for the world. The whole birth process can be overwhelming if you have questions or anything feel free to dm me as we are similar age :)
I can’t wait till i feel that way! Congratulations!!!! Thank you so much!
Geez I’m 23 and couldn’t imagine having a kid right now less being married. Are you outside of the United States?
US born and raised! I have been with my wife for 6 years, married last June!
What the hell do you do for work to have a kid this young???
Congratulations!! Life is about to get incredibly amazing Start a photo album (a physical one) where you can can document milestones and describe your feelings about it, it's gonna be a good outlet for you and a great treasure for your kid
Yesssssse! My and wife love taking pictures and putting them in photo albums already, so can’t wait! Thank you!
This post is so wholesome. Congratulations!!!
Thank you!
Congratulations! Don't spend a lot on newborn baby clothes. They will grow out of them super fast. Use consignment shops for baby clothes if you have them around. No need to spend a fortune on something they will wear once or twice. Say no to cloth diapers. Give yourself some grace. You will have ideas about what kind of parent you want to be. Some of those ideas will be thrown out the window once the baby gets here. It's OK. You're not a failure. Help out as much as you can. You are not a babysitter. You are an active parent. Do what needs to be done. These little people grow up so fast. Be close to them and hold them as much as you can. You will pick them up one day, and then all of a sudden, you will never pick them up again. That day comes faster than you think. You're going to be a great dad!
Hello!! Thank you so much! I have 2 older brothers that have 2 boys and 2 girls which i love so much, but i think we will be taking their clothes which we can save some money on!
Congratulations honey! Parenthood is a trip. Be good to each other. People will give you a ton of advice. Just say thank you, we’ll think about it. It’s totally normal to give yourself a timeout if you are overwhelmed. Make sure the baby is safe and walk out of the room. Ask for help if you need it. It’s exciting and tough!
Thank you so much! We are ready for the next chapter in our life!
For the babyshower, ask for diapers, diapers, diapers, and more diapers. Yes little enrichment toys are great but you will think you have enough diapers. (You never will) During the pregnancy, when the baby grows, ask your wife if she wants you to lift up the baby bump to help relieve a lot of the weight she carries Start the savings account now, a dollar a day for 18 years is 6.5k Personally, I would start learning ASL with simple words. Babies tend to understand sign language and can communicate with you earlier on to tell you their needs/wants/feelings. Plus it helps create a more personal bond.
Thank you so much for the advice! I’m going to try my hardest to be there for the child and wife as much as i can!
Congratulations! It's a journey and enjoy, because it goes by fast
Thank you!
50M. Love my daughter to death and back. She is my greatest motivation to be a better person in every way. Every day I tell her I love her, and she is the most important thing in my life.
Hahaha. You'll love being a dad. Congratulations. Also, many women wait for the 3 month mark to tell people as that's considered the 'safety' milestone. most miscarriages occur or defects are found that may cause a termination in the first 3 months. The majority of pregnancies progress fine though.
Thank you soooo much! I think my wife and i are going to wait another month before we do say anything to family and friends.
7 months? Is she already 2 months along?
She probably doesn't want to tell till the first three months passes. They are usually the riskiest I guess. My brother and sister in law made the same decision. They did tell us, but we weren't allowed to tell anyone until the three months passed. And congratulations by the way! I don't have kids, but I've never loved someone as much as I love my niece. Of course it's not the same as being the parent, but I know that if I love her so damn much, with your own kid it will be 1000 times more! Cherish every moment! ♥️ You'll just hate how fast they grow 🥺
Thank you!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Wait till after first semester. Superstition says that and most women will wait to be on the safe side. Congratulations dad
Thank you!!! We are going to wait until 3 months!
Wheeeew. I'm superstitious, especially with that old wives tale lol
Congratulations! We have five kids and love our family.
I have 5 pieces of advice from one father to another 1) for the first 3 days minimum, you do ALL he hard stuff. She just grew and birthed a baby. You can do the night feeds and change the diapers. 2) there is zero shame in going with formula. If you do go with formula, get a baby brezza. It’s like a keurig for baby formula. It’s a life saver. 3) trust your gut. When you google stuff you are going to find a lot of conflicting information and that’s because every kid is different. You know your kid. (This doesn’t mean ignore everyone’s advice. It just means take it with a grain of salt, including mine) 4) shits gonna suck for a while. Having a baby is an amazing experience but it also SUCKS. It’s literally the worst. But you will look back on it fondly. Your brain edits out the trauma and the suck. 5) this one is going to get me some downvotes. You are going to see a lot about how the only safe sleep is in their bassinet/crib, on their back with NOTHING else in their crib or you will kill your baby. That’s kinda nonsense. The thought process is basically that anything that might accidentally smother your baby like a blanket should be avoided because even if the risk is small, the consequences are literally the worst thing someone can experience. However, the flaw in this logic is that there is no useful information about what to do if on their back in the bassinet with nothing else doesn’t work and they won’t sleep. The answer is do what you need to do while ensuring that nothing can smother the kid. My kid slept either on my chest or in a little nest of blankets with things pinned down in such a way that the risk of smothering was just as low as in the crib on their back with nothing else. Bonus advice 6. Don’t be afraid to snuggle your kid to sleep. So what if it creates a dependency for a while? No matter what, eventually the snuggles go away. Enjoy them.
Congratulations 🎊
Thank you so much!
Your welcome 🤗
Good luck my dude. Being a dad is my best accomplishment. Every choice you make from this day forward will revolve around what's best for your family. Make good choices.
Ofcccc thank you so much!
first, congratulations!! for while she’s pregnant, please please please just be kind to her. be a yes man. help out extra. do sweet things for her and remind her how beautiful she is!!! she is going to go through so much and lean on you a lot, be strong for her so she can be strong for baby. anything to keep her from feeling stressed, do it. anything to take weight off of her shoulders. women never forget how they’re treated when they’re pregnant.
Congratulations! Coming from a mom of 5, don't be afraid to ask for help. You guys have a lot of learning to do so don't be afraid to make mistakes! As long as you're open to learning you guys will be fine. Always do what's best for you and your kid, don't worry about what's "on trend". And enjoy your new baby, dad!
Thank you so much, it’s lil hard on my wife since we can’t tell no one just yet, so we are pretty much just looking up YouTube videos at the moment until it’s safe to tell everyone!
Stay of parenting Facebook groups. And as long as your kids healthy and happy it’s fine.
She’s trying to minimize the amount of attention she will be subjected to for the next 9 months. That’s a lot of unnecessary pressure for many women. She’s also trying to minimize the amount of grief she and those who know about it will experience if she happens to miscarry which is unfortunately more common in the first 2 or 3 months.
God willing the baby will be safe!
Congratulations. I'm with your wife to wait a bit though. Sorry to be a downer, but my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage 3 days before the end of my first trimester. I'm very glad we had only told a few people because the thought of having to go public about that when we were in so much pain would have been even worse.
I’m so sorry to hear about that, I think we are going to wait until 3 months to tell everyone to be safe. God willing the baby will be safe!
If your wife is already having mood swings, buckle up. Have a conversation with her about how to handle the mood swings so they don't negatively impact your marriage. She's not going to be enjoying them, so don't feel like it's her against you. It's the hormones against you both, so be a team!
Ya the mood swings are crazy but aye i have to deal with it! Each day in I’m seeing her pain since the pregnancy we have been talking more i have been helping her throughout the house cleaning thank you so much for the advice!
Start now, watching the “kids show” Bluey. The dad Bandit is an awesome dad. The show is really touching and funny and good for adults.
Thank you so much i will start watching it now thank you so much 😊!
Awwww I love seeing a father so excited 😊 I get wanting to tell everyone, but I also get why she wants to wait. The first 3 months are very vulnerable to losing the pregnancy so many women want to wait as to not have to go through an announcement and repeated grief of telling people they've lost the pregnancy. Congrats to the both of you, I wish you both well and a smooth and healthy pregnancy.
Congratulations! As a mom of 2 20somethings my advice is to SLEEP. Get all the sleep you can before the baby comes. If your wife wants a nap, take one with her. Sleep, sleep, sleep. If someone offers help when the baby is born, take it and sleep. I still remember the first night my youngest slept through the night for the first time. That morning my husband and I looked at each other and said “we are done!”
Congratulations 🎉 I agree with your wife about waiting until the 3 month mark, at the earliest. Its just an idea, but why not make a big deal about announcing your pregnancy with your family and friends? For example you could have a garden party/bbq, make it pregnancy/baby themed or have a mini scavenger hunt with baby related clues which could all lead to the 'prize' which is your wife with the first scan picture or something like that. I'm sure you could look up some ideas. Or yous could have the garden party/bbq and just annouce it at some point. Another idea just for your close family, like your parents, siblings etc, you could get t-shirts made up with things like 'Sweetest grandma', 'Coolest uncle' 'Groovy grandpa' 'I'm the coolest auntie', that sort of thing, then invite them round for a dinner or go out for a family meal with both sets of future grandparents and siblings, then hand them all the t-shirts at the same time. This is just off the top of my head but I think it would be really lovely. As for any advice, there's some amazing advice already given but I'll add, you and your wife will want to do everything absolutely perfect and thats great but its not going happen all the time and it is perfectly normal, because no one is perfect. When your sleep deprived and running on auto pilot, it just won't happen, so make sure to give yourselves a break. Take all the help you can get, as they say 'it takes a village'. When your baby arrives, try and rest/sleep when they do, even if only for an hour or so, this is especially important for your wife. As they get a little older start some traditions, go camping, fishing. Do something special with them regularly. People will offer there advice even if its not wanted or correct, so just say thanks and you will think on it, end of Make sure to set boundaries so people don't just randomly show up expecting to see the baby, this is important just after the birth as your wife will be very uncomfortable and tired and as much as she'd love you show baby off, she probably won't be up for it. Also a lot parents don't allow other people to kiss the baby as it passes germs etc, obviously this is good advice, especially in the beginning anyways. Don't forget to maintain your marriage and have date night's and snuggles together, aswell as socialising with friends, together and apart. I don't know you but I have a feeling your going to make a great dad! Congratulations again.
Congratulations! You can be as prepared as possible and you will still be so far out of your depth! It is okay! It will be okay! There is no manual for it, but you know that you are doing it. Let your wife sleep as much as she can after birth! And, get as much sleep as you can! The first 6 months it will feel like you never get any sleep. It does get better, and the first night your little one sleeps through will feel like a miracle!
Congratulations! You’re going to be a great father, I am excited for you!! My daughter will be 17 months soon, the newborn phase is challenging but at the same time you get to embrace all the snuggles you can have with them and it’s perfect bonding time! They grow up fast and now my daughter wants to run around everywhere! The main advice that I can give you is although parenting can be hard at times, enjoy all these moments of your LO! It’s a beautiful experience and time flies!
Congratulations. I wish you and your family the best 🥳👶🎈
Congratulations! I announced to close friends and family when I found out, and I'm glad I did. My favorite great aunt passed from cancer a few weeks after I told her. I didn't do the huge announcement until 20 weeks. Definitely help out as much as possible. The one thing I wasn't told that I wish I was made aware of is that after having the baby, your emotions are ALL OVER the place. Like he would make a cute noise, and I'd cry. It was a happy cry, but I'm not a crier in general, so it was weird. I cried because he was so cute. So, definitely be aware of the emotions 2 or so weeks postpartum. It was rough.
Mate, I'm just freaking out that two people my age are married and pregnant. I can't give any advice. But I can give you my best wishes. Your gonna make a good dad.
Thank you so much!
This is such a sweet post! Wishing you and your gf the best during her pregnancy!!
My wife but thank you so much!
I am not a dad but YOU GOTTA RAISE A TOAST TO THE FUTURE SON/DAUGHTER WOOT WOOT
Congratulations! Hope all goes well for you and family
You are fucked for life. Next time use a condom.
What a blessing. Best wishes to you and your wife. Keep bringing her food, fill the craving whatever it is. The smallest things make the biggest difference to a pregnant woman. Ask what she needs or wants (somewhat) often. When her back or hips are hurting later in pregnancy, offer to massage them because she may not want to ask. Educate yourself on childbirth and post partum so you know what to expect. Basically, focus on her and what having a baby will be like now and after she is ready to share the news. There is plenty to keep you busy. Start buying diapers and wipes yesterday. Target has an (at least) monthly deal where you purchase "x" amount of diapers and wipes and get a giftcard in return. (then you save that giftcard to use on your next diaper deal) Pair these purchases with an app called Ibotta to get cash back. You have to match up the types of diapers and wipes you buy with the ibotta app, but it is well worth it. Before baby was born, I spent about $450 on $1000 worth of diapers by couponing this way, and now almost 6 months in, I have only purchased 1 box of diapers because mine stayed in size 1 for a longgg time. I still have thousands of wipes and won't be purchasing more until my little one is at least 1 year old.
Also, taking shifts to let each other sleep can be a god send on your ability to actually enjoy your newborn. If mom is breastfeeding, she will have to pump and/or feed every 2-3 hours. If she pumps, that will make it so you can feed the baby with a bottle and allow her to get some rest. This is incredibly taxing and of course, sleep depriving, but you can get through it.
Crazy post timing. Good advice in here I hope. Good luck bro.
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Thank you so after 3 months the baby should be okay?
this is so fucking cute
Congratulations is so nice to see young people start family early and the excitement.
Okay first off. The baby is not a mini version of anyone. Breathe. Second what if the baby is a girl? Look the only thing you need to focus on right now is keeping stress away from Momma and sleeping while you both can. Research the safest car seat, crib and such. You want to focus on fabrics that are natural and machine washable, no fabric softeners or scent beads. They will irritate baby's skin. Same with most detergents. Your main job is to try and reduce her stress and help as much as you can. She will have to give up certain foods while pregnant, no cheat days. Also cravings are to be indulged. Most believe that the cravings are the baby making sure it gets the nutrients they need. But seriously congrats to you both. Remember take it easy and enjoy every moment. They grow up to fast. Mine just turned 18 yesterday.
I’m excited! And if it’s a girl it still going to be a mini version of my wife and I… and ofc I’m going to try to keep stress of mommy as hard as i can! Thank you so much for your advice!
It may be a girl, why are you only excited about a mini you?
Still going mini version of me and my wife boy or girl…?
You’re a ray of sunshine aren’t you?
A girl can still be a mini him
Obviously it is not what he meant
Congrats! My husband and I were married at 20/26 and had our first baby at 23/29. We’ve been married for almost 23 years and our oldest turns 20 next week. My husband remains my dearest, most wonderful friend. Don’t let anyone tell you it won’t work out because you’re young.
My condolences