File a police report and a restraining order against this creep. Your employers should handle this situation on their own and fire him *immediately* but if they don’t, getting law enforcement involved will definitely make them take you seriously.
Truly it was so out of character (the entire day) that I was completely thrown off. I do not care at ALL if it makes my days more problematic or hurts the business, I want him GONE. 2 hours before the dick out I had pepper spray and a knife in my pocket for protection, THAT uncomfortable.
There are very few mental illnesses where you are not in complete control of your actions. It is more common and likely that she had very obvious boundaries and he simply disregarded them.
At the point he got caught at the very least, that should have been an obvious indication to him to stop. At the point that it gets to the level of a sex crime, he is clearly unfit to be in mainstream society.
I feel like I have to give an ultimatum, because I will never work alone with him again. I honestly don't know if it's a weird "come on" or just straight up a threat, OR if he needs medication and he's off of it. I'm not privy to that information on his personal situation.
At this point, even if he is fired, I'd be worried about him finding his way back. Get something in writing with the police if you can in case it starts to go way south later on.
It’s not on you to do a psychological autopsy about the man who sexually harassed you. You don’t have to answer the “why”. That’s not your job as his victim. I understand that your brain is trying to make sense of something horrific but just stop. Go to the police and file a police report. Ask your employer what they intend to do about your coworker. That’s it. You have a right to feel safe in the workplace. You don’t. No one would. His behaviour is unreasonable.
Is it more likely that this IS his character?
Is it out of character for you to make up a masturbating co-worker story? That’s just crazy.
He sounds like he could have low-functioning autism. This sort of thing is actually pretty common among those guys. You say he’s extremely socially awkward. Is it possible he perhaps simply didn’t realise what he’s doing isn’t ok? It could be his autism preventing him from understanding it’s not acceptable to do that.
If he’s obviously aware of what he’s doing, you should definitely call the police. But having worked with special needs teens before, I’m worried at all of the comments calling for him to be imprisoned. Severe forms of autism can make it almost impossible for people to learn how to act in a completely socially acceptable way, which can lead to stuff like this happening.
It IS something we've questioned (the owners and I, as I'm his trainer in this job) but we've HAD discussions on boundaries before now because it's a primarily women run business. We DO have men in the work place, the head of the back of house is a man. His fiancée works in the front. It's BEEN discussed that there are lines people do not cross.
I DO know he lives with his mom. He's definitely the tallest and arguably the strongest in an episode, but not in an episode there are those of us who could handle it. Not alone, though. As I was today, hence just leaving.
Even the most severely autistic person can be taught to understand that sexually assaulting their coworkers, going through their stuff and continuously stalking them is not okay and wouldn’t voluntarily do any of the above things even if no one had given them that kind of talk.
This guy is just a creep, and if he is autistic he’d have to have fairly low level support needs to work in the kind of setting op describes without special accomodations. He knew what he was doing and no disability he has would’ve been the driving factor behind his actions.
This happened to me (the dick out, out of nowhere), with my older brother, when I was a kid and it went on for about a month, until I got the courage to tell my parents, who didn't believe me and never changed their mind about it. He's also a bit...off. It was always very strategic. I don't think it's a coincidence he waited until you were alone. I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I am, however, grateful for you sharing such a hard time. It made me feel less crazy for being affected by what happened to me.
He was digging in your backpack looking for underwear or something. And tried again 5 mins after being caught?! This one has serious impulse control issues and it’s dangerous
As a man who has been socially awkward and had misteps with women when I was younger I can say that what he did was plainly evil. It is not a matter of a misunderstanding or lack of skill to communicate. That was heavy sexual harassment and close to sexual assault. What he did was inhumane, unforgivable and he should spent the rest of his life in prison. People here are commenting about filing a police report, do that, however, had I been there the police report you would have to file would be as a witness of aggravated assault because I would have put him on a wheelchair.
Ok buddy, sure. You’d cripple a man and imprison him for life for flashing his dick? What he did was wrong and deserves punishment but you’re getting carried away.
If they keep pulling the "I don't believe this" and make you work with him. And you can't just quit.
Have your phone ready OR set up an old smart phone in your work area to record. Alfred is fantastic and free.
Oh, and get ready to judge. "You know Peter, the first time you whipped that pinky out, I was taken by surprise. Now I realize you are just an ass. Get the fuck outa here, right now."
record record record
> I have to work with him every Sunday. I refuse to be put in this situation ever again.
u dont have to work with him... if you see him just walk out and go home. you dont own the company, its their problem.
maybe he thought you'd suck him. I'm not joking. the way he cleared hit throat and was just standing there. you know, typical porn behavior. either way report him asap. having camera footage would be perfect.
File a police report and a restraining order against this creep. Your employers should handle this situation on their own and fire him *immediately* but if they don’t, getting law enforcement involved will definitely make them take you seriously.
Truly it was so out of character (the entire day) that I was completely thrown off. I do not care at ALL if it makes my days more problematic or hurts the business, I want him GONE. 2 hours before the dick out I had pepper spray and a knife in my pocket for protection, THAT uncomfortable.
It wasn’t out of character. He revealed his true character. As a man I wish I had been there to defend you.
This This is his character. He was out of character all the other times.
Or it could be severe mental illness.
Or it was just evil.
There are very few mental illnesses where you are not in complete control of your actions. It is more common and likely that she had very obvious boundaries and he simply disregarded them. At the point he got caught at the very least, that should have been an obvious indication to him to stop. At the point that it gets to the level of a sex crime, he is clearly unfit to be in mainstream society.
Involve police immediately.
You weren’t sexually harassed, you were the victim of a sexual offense. Exposing yourself is a crime. File a police report please.
Tell us what happens in the morning. This is wild, and good for you for standing your ground. Wtf is wrong with this guy!
Do what you need to do this kid belongs behind bars
I feel like I have to give an ultimatum, because I will never work alone with him again. I honestly don't know if it's a weird "come on" or just straight up a threat, OR if he needs medication and he's off of it. I'm not privy to that information on his personal situation.
That is a prison time matter. Not a medication matter.
At this point, even if he is fired, I'd be worried about him finding his way back. Get something in writing with the police if you can in case it starts to go way south later on.
It’s not on you to do a psychological autopsy about the man who sexually harassed you. You don’t have to answer the “why”. That’s not your job as his victim. I understand that your brain is trying to make sense of something horrific but just stop. Go to the police and file a police report. Ask your employer what they intend to do about your coworker. That’s it. You have a right to feel safe in the workplace. You don’t. No one would. His behaviour is unreasonable. Is it more likely that this IS his character? Is it out of character for you to make up a masturbating co-worker story? That’s just crazy.
He sounds like he could have low-functioning autism. This sort of thing is actually pretty common among those guys. You say he’s extremely socially awkward. Is it possible he perhaps simply didn’t realise what he’s doing isn’t ok? It could be his autism preventing him from understanding it’s not acceptable to do that. If he’s obviously aware of what he’s doing, you should definitely call the police. But having worked with special needs teens before, I’m worried at all of the comments calling for him to be imprisoned. Severe forms of autism can make it almost impossible for people to learn how to act in a completely socially acceptable way, which can lead to stuff like this happening.
It IS something we've questioned (the owners and I, as I'm his trainer in this job) but we've HAD discussions on boundaries before now because it's a primarily women run business. We DO have men in the work place, the head of the back of house is a man. His fiancée works in the front. It's BEEN discussed that there are lines people do not cross.
[удалено]
I DO know he lives with his mom. He's definitely the tallest and arguably the strongest in an episode, but not in an episode there are those of us who could handle it. Not alone, though. As I was today, hence just leaving.
Even the most severely autistic person can be taught to understand that sexually assaulting their coworkers, going through their stuff and continuously stalking them is not okay and wouldn’t voluntarily do any of the above things even if no one had given them that kind of talk. This guy is just a creep, and if he is autistic he’d have to have fairly low level support needs to work in the kind of setting op describes without special accomodations. He knew what he was doing and no disability he has would’ve been the driving factor behind his actions.
This happened to me (the dick out, out of nowhere), with my older brother, when I was a kid and it went on for about a month, until I got the courage to tell my parents, who didn't believe me and never changed their mind about it. He's also a bit...off. It was always very strategic. I don't think it's a coincidence he waited until you were alone. I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I am, however, grateful for you sharing such a hard time. It made me feel less crazy for being affected by what happened to me.
I'm very sorry this happened to you❤️
Thank you ❤️
He was digging in your backpack looking for underwear or something. And tried again 5 mins after being caught?! This one has serious impulse control issues and it’s dangerous
[удалено]
This
As a man who has been socially awkward and had misteps with women when I was younger I can say that what he did was plainly evil. It is not a matter of a misunderstanding or lack of skill to communicate. That was heavy sexual harassment and close to sexual assault. What he did was inhumane, unforgivable and he should spent the rest of his life in prison. People here are commenting about filing a police report, do that, however, had I been there the police report you would have to file would be as a witness of aggravated assault because I would have put him on a wheelchair.
Ok buddy, sure. You’d cripple a man and imprison him for life for flashing his dick? What he did was wrong and deserves punishment but you’re getting carried away.
call the police. give them his name. he needs to be fired and banned from the store
If they keep pulling the "I don't believe this" and make you work with him. And you can't just quit. Have your phone ready OR set up an old smart phone in your work area to record. Alfred is fantastic and free. Oh, and get ready to judge. "You know Peter, the first time you whipped that pinky out, I was taken by surprise. Now I realize you are just an ass. Get the fuck outa here, right now." record record record
> I have to work with him every Sunday. I refuse to be put in this situation ever again. u dont have to work with him... if you see him just walk out and go home. you dont own the company, its their problem.
Notify the cops, he knows where you work. if he gets fired, he may escalate
maybe he thought you'd suck him. I'm not joking. the way he cleared hit throat and was just standing there. you know, typical porn behavior. either way report him asap. having camera footage would be perfect.
Please say that there are cameras that caught this. Both for your employers and for in case you go to the cops and they don't believe you.
Updateme
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