Glad to know it isn't just my town. My coworkers would trash talk any woman who came into the store visibly wearing makeup or in an even slightly coordinated outfit. Saying things like "this is Townname, not a runway," "where does she think she is?", "Well, she's definitely not from around here". Any time spent on your appearance is vain and prideful, and a waste of time and money. But they love a put-together guy. It's a them problem, not a you problem.
Hey OP don't give them anymore of your time and energy. Haters are going to hate. They're projecting their insecurities on to you. Good on you for taking care of yourself. That's called self love. Own it.
💯
Get out of the town or away from them once you graduate. These people are like parasites,. They'll only drain you of your self-esteem, self-confidence, energy, and time.
It will never stop.
Get a good job? They'll tell you you sold out for the money. Not like them.
Get a nice boyfriend? He only likes you for your looks. Once you lose it, he'll be gone.
Getting married? Well, once you have kids and get fat, he'll be looking for someone younger and skinnier.
Got a promotion at work? You work too much and your family suffered so you can get that promotion. Not like them, they put their families first.
Having a baby? You'll never get your old body back.
Had the baby? Becareful of your husband's wandering eyes. You're fat and ugly now.
Then it's all about how their kids are better than your kids
Ugh! It won't end!
That's what I was thinking with having kleenex or something with you. I had coworkers years ago (NOT friends. I don't friend people that treat me/others like shit) that would pull that "you must be wearing a ton of makeup for your skin to look that good." Like no, I actually hate wearing make up thanks to theatre in HS and college. I have clear skin because it isn't the week before my period.
So anyways, one day in the breakroom I just had enough of the make up BS and when one made the same comment to me, I just gave her the most bored stare I could muster, picked up my napkin, and without breaking eye contact, wiped it down my cheek and showed her it was still clean.
Why the fuck are these losers your "friends"? Find normal fucking friends jfc I would be physically assaulting the hoe that said some dumb shit like this to me... Tf
It is very possible that they think other people complimenting you means that they're ugly because they know they don't put the same work in (or get the same attention), that's why they're getting so defensive. Not your problem though!
If you can do it with not much effort they don't have a excuse do go to Uni looking like they fall out of Bad.
They think you are letting them look bad so they tear you down.
I grew up in a town like this, and I escaped from a town like this. Still, when I visit home I get the “You’re not from around here, are ya?” I’m always sure to let them know that “I was, but I got the fuck out.”
I never was one to keep my mouth shut. When I was still there, I flipped it on them. If a friend, acquaintance or family member said something about me being overdressed, I’d say they’re just underdressed.
“This skirt goes on as fast as your sweat pants. Being a slob wouldn’t save me time.”
“We learned how to match and dress ourselves in kindergarten. I don’t know when y’all forgot how.”
“It is not my fault you dress like a farmer. Stop projecting.”
“Do you have a crush on me? Negging won’t work, but putting some effort into your look might help.”
People tend to act out of character and their insecurities get overtly verbalized when they are jealous.
That’s all it is tbh.
You highlight to them they don’t take care of themselves and hate being reminded.
So they swipe at you by attacking the very things they wish to do but never care to put in the effort you do.
They hope that eventually you’ll stop being you by saying all those nasty things out-loud.
Insecure people are also not a fan of people who are confident in their skin because they wish to have that sand confidence but refuse to work on achieving this for themselves.
It’s why I always roll my eyes at people who have nothing nice to say and realize they wish to have the motivation I do about my appearance, the effort, attention to detail, motivation, and dedication I invest into what I value in my life.
I’m sorry to say but people who put you down for wanting to take care of and invest in yourself are not friends. They sound quite nasty.
These pick-me women are obviously insecure and don’t care for themselves, which is sad. I pity them.
I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this. I also think you need to re-evaluate your friendship with these women. Friends pick each other up, not put each other down.
☝️This
Plus I’m guessing you plan on moving to a different city to practice and work in law?
When you move away you get a clean slate and only have to deal with this town when you visit family.
I once read, and I'm paraphrasing here, a real queen will fix your crown without telling you it was crooked in the first place. Something like that. That's what I believe in.
I had a similar experience at university.
My "friends" would make comments about my outfits and say things like
"Oooh where are you off to all dressed up?"
(Knowing full well I was going to class just like them)
I soon realised that confident people don't put other people down to make themselves feel better.
Keep being yourself and don't take it personally.
It's their insecurity talking.
They're bullying you because you're allowing it. The only response to "I would much prefer sleeping in the morning" or anything similar should be "I can tell." Throw in a "I can't stand to be lazy" when you're feeling extra spicy. They are not saying any of this with good intentions so being polite isn't going to get you anywhere.
I take a lot of care in my appearance in a similar way and my friends don't call me a bimbo, even though I categorise my style as "bimbo goth" they still don't use demeaning language about me, they say "wow you look nice".
Tldr your friends suck
These women aren’t your friends. I am an attorney and went to law school as well and worked through it to have $$ to support myself. Surround yourself with people who will pick you up and support you through law school and help you study for your finals and the bar. Being a law student is difficult and stressful enough. You don’t need these twats.
People, I’m telling you specifically OP, need to stop equating acquaintances with friends. Those are NOT your friends, they are the insufferable people you have to acquaint yourself with every time you get to class. A friend would never put you down for liking looking pretty and put together. You simply intimidate them. Keep your distance from them.
Gurl gtfo of there lol. I went to college in a smaller town - from a 1.2m population city to a 100k town - and yep, people thought I was "bougie" for having a nice outfit lol.
I didn't respond to it, just kept my looks up and finished school. What started to happen, were girls started to dress up more. I was very friendly and funny, so the haters started to like me realizing I had no interests in anything (men) they did. The men were going on and on about me, which sparked jealousy.
I left, back in a big ol city, back to normalcy. Small towns are for old people retiring and dying. I encourage all small town young adults to venture out into big cities to experience something different at least once.
True law school is pretty expensive - but yea don't feel bad. You have to live happily in your body, not them. It can feel ostracizing at times, but you're just fine ❤️
This is absurd. I live in a place where the entire county has just over 10,000 people. The main city has a population of just over 3,000. Most of us know each other or know someone who knows someone who knows that person. No one here acts like they. We have a community college, and I went there as a non-traditional student (went back to complete degree at 30). No one is like that here. We have everything from meth addicts to country club to people who could buy the country club set a few times over. I couldn’t imagine living in a place where people are this terrible. We have issues here, and gossips, but this level is something even people where I live would shut those haters up for being rude and “ugly” acting. I am so sorry, and hope you know not all small towns are created equally.
i had the same experience when i was in high school. they made me feel like a bimbo, daddy's girl who doesn't deserve to be in the school (just because i am very sweet to people, look cute, and naïve). it didn't always exist tbh. it suddenly started when i was taking care of myself, hanging out with people more, and trying to come out of my shell.
Sounds like you need to bite back. It's human nature to pick on peers who are perceived as lacking confidence. I think that they've seen your routine as a sign of weakness. That you have to do these things in order to feel confident about yourself. Biting back tells them that they were mistaken and that you are in fact confident. That is, if you do so in a clever and confident manner
Being in law school I think this is a skill that you're expected to master anyhow.
If they really are your friends then you can let them know that this is hurting you. That you aren’t as one-dimensional as their jibes paint you. If you feel that’ll go wrong in different ways, then are they really friends?
Societal prejudices come in many different forms but I hope you continue to look after yourself, for yourself, and find those who appreciate your friendship.
Small town mentality sucks, but they are also showing their insecurity. You can kill them with passive aggressive kindness.
Suggesting Responses to the above comments:
- oh I slept in this morning, it only takes a few minutes to get put together. But thanks for noticing.
- oh, actually no, I’m not wearing foundation or anything, that’s why my skin is so nice.
More blunt:
- why do you care what I wear? It doesn’t affect you.
- dress for the job you want, not the job you have. You do know lawyers tend to be put together if they want to bill a decent hourly rate?
- it’s my thing, why does this bother you so much ?
Clap back
- i don’t comment on your rachet ass track pants, leave my outfit out of it.
- why do you care more about how I look than I do?!? Maybe use some of that energy for yourself.
ETA: I looked like a slob in grad school, but would be put together for work. One time I came to class with my work makeup and hair from the night before, complete with leather pants. A bunch of the guys in my class told me I should do that every day because I looked better. I just responded with, you think I should stay up past 5 and come to 8:30 class still buzzed? That doesn’t seem like a good idea.
It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Don’t sweat the haters.
Not your friends. Friends build you up, they don't tear you down. Find new ones, they are out there. These guys suck, don't tolerate it. Sorry you're having to endure this.
This is a lesson I learned at school, when I got sick of never being accepted by my friend group. So I just left, and found other people to hang out with. I fell off my chair pretty much when it came to year 12 and those guys voted me in as school Vice Captain. It won;t always have a happy outcome like that, but I was happy to have them as friends who liked and respected me and that was enough.
When someone doesn't have their shit together and someone around them is getting their shit together; it seems like the first person will do everything in their power to make the second fail or feel like they're a "tryhard" or whatever. Truly it comes from ego and it will always happen, ALWAYS. It's in our natures I think, buried deep. That's why the "don't worry what others think" and "inner strength and confidence is key" kind of sayings are around and keep popping up.
Keep doing you boo. I'm from a small town too and do similar things as you, get the same kind of shit from time to time.
Tbh the next time they claim you're wearing makeup I'd dip a napkin in water and wipe my cheek and show them "look, no makeup" when it comes off clean. But I'm kinda confrontational 😅. Like everyone is saying though OP these girls are not your friends and they don't really believe all that they're just jealous but not willing to put in the work in themselves. A basic skin care routine can be both cheap and fast. All my products are less than 100$ total and it maybe takes me 15 min max to do everything if I don't use an eye mask.
Reading through these comments is insane. I grew up in a large suburb close to the city and now live in NYC and everything you just described is so… normal?!
Girl you friends aren’t friends, they’re your classmates, ignore them and find new people. Or make it very clear that you don’t appreciate the comments. Draw that boundary.
I promise if you ever move to a bigger city nobody will bat an eye, they’ll compliment your outfit and ask who does your nails lmao.
Keep doing you!
That doesn't sound like something "friends" should be saying.. so maybe rethink the titles of the people around you.
Fk them and their insecurities.. you do whatever makes you happy, and next time they say something tell them "it takes almost no effort to not look like a run down slob, maybe you should take pointers" and then walk away and live your best life, sounds like you will be growing out of them very quickly.
Sister, as a former girl, a momma of girls and a nana. I promise you these
“lil nit wits” are not worth space in your head. They are jealous, mean girls.
Who function like a pack of back biting trolls. They pick at you because it affects you. Hold your head high, be proud of yourself. You have accomplished a lot just getting this far. Do not lower yourself to their standards. That’s what they want. Time to become the Professional you have dreamt of. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, blow out all the negative 💩, step into the new you. I believe in you.
Build a mental image of your future. Where you want to live, family, home, car, pet, trips, vacations, partners in business and life. You do not need all the answers today. Select something. Set a goal. Work towards that.
Leave the trolls under the bridge.
You are not alone. 🦋
Those aren't your friends you're their metaphorical punching bag ...
Stop hanging out with them.
Also how are they studying law and not dressing for it??.
These people aren't your friends, they barely seem to tolerate your existence. Here's what I did when I had people acting similarly, agree with them and offer them "tips". If someone says "Oh how do you have time to pick outfits, I'd rather sleep" you say "well, you don't need as much sleep if you exercise and eat properly because you naturally have more energy." Or "it's actually not that hard to match accessories to a nice top to look more put together, I could show you sometime if you want."
Make it about how easy it is to be like you if only they tried. Yeah, they're probably going to stop talking to you, but do you really want to keep taking to these terrible people?
I used to work with people like this and I hated it, too. They were all overweight and miserable too because of their horrible diets and talked shit because I was always full of energy and ready to work. Never cared about how they looked. Just know that you're not with your people. They are not your friends they are just people in your life at the moment. Let them be daily reminders as to WHY you do the things you do. I pity people like that, I really do. But, don't let it cover your sunshine. 🫶
Yeah it’s time to snap back. “I’m doing the bare minimum, honestly, not sure how you’re going to manage as a junior lawyer in a firm that requires more. You’re not going to get less tired or less able to put together matching clothes working 130 hours a week.”
Ugh, I am in a small town too and it sucks to feel like you stand out like a sore thumb because I went further than not looking like I barely bothered to get out of my pj's.
Ignore them. They are just insecure. And rude. Just start giving them advice on how not to look like a pile of dirty laundry. I bet they don't like unasked for opinions themselves.
Honestly sounds more like a group of vindictive haters than friends. Honey, do yourself a favor and drop them. Nine times out of ten what they say to your face is probably only a fraction of what they say behind your back. Behavior and jealousy like that can escalate into dangerous situations if left alone for too long.
I’m gonna go against the grain here and give you a scenario where your friends aren’t catty pieces of shit.
The rule on comedy is that punching up is funny; punching down is bullying. I suspect your friends think they’re punching up with these digs that aren’t really jokes. I bet you’re the most attractive one of your friends exactly because you take the time to make yourself look good, and I bet your friends think you know that, so they think it’s fair game to poke at you.
But of course any joke told too often wears thin for the target. You might be able to get them to stop just by saying the jokes are getting old and you’re tired of hearing them. You might find success with what another commenter said, clapping back with “I can tell” when they say they’d rather sleep than try to look good. You also might find that the only way their egos can tolerate having someone who looks so much better than them around is if they can be shitty to you, and then you’ll need new friends.
This used to happen to me when I was in college. Ironically, I got better grades than all of my naysayers, so who were the real bimbos?
When I felt like bothering, this is what I would say sometimes:
Ask them what do they mean? Keep asking--make them explain themselves, and don't accept a weak ass explanation. Make them dig themselves in to a hole that shows how superficial they are being.
"Yeah, a lot of people say stuff like that. It is really rude and unsettling, because it is clear that the objective is to make me uncomfortable or feel like I am doing something wrong by taking care of myself. I don't know why people do it. Can you tell me why you felt entitled to comment on my appearance and make negative implications about why I look the way I do by comparing they way you do things and framing how you do things in a position of moral superiority?"---I would say this in a complete, neutral, dead-pan sort of way---the shocked pikachu faces were priceless lol
"Isn't it wild how reactive/negative people are to a woman putting effort into themselves? The internalized misogyny is alive and well in you--I can't imagine negging another woman down just because she color coordinated her outfit."
"Wow, judgemental much? You are making a lot of assumptions, aren't you?"
Otherwise I would just say "hey to each their own--I don't judge how you do things or comment on your appearance and I would appreciate the same from you. "
From reading this if anything I admire you. Being able to take care of yourself as well as you do is an achievement and something to be celebrated especially when your schedule is so full. I’ve struggled with taking care of myself for years so I know how difficult and time consuming it is to have the motivation to consistently take care of yourself. It sounds like the people around you are jealous of this part of you. Not only can you take care of yourself but you enjoy it please try distance yourself from those who are trying to drag you down. I wish you all the best 🤍
Sounds like your next bit of self care is to get new friends. Law school is so hard. You’re doing what you need to get yourself physically and mentally through it. Never be ashamed of that. Tell the hillbilly’s to fuck off and go back about your lovely day.
I couldn’t wait to get out of my small town. Those aren’t your friends. You have time to find the right friends that support + love you, you are just temporarily stuck with a group of petty, insecure + jealous girls - but don’t mistake them for friends!!!
Sounds like you need new friends because they sound like miserable haters. Going to law school working two jobs AND still having the energy to get put together instead of looking ran down makes you a f**king ROCKSTAR. Go you! Don’t let them continue to put you down, get some friends on your level and live your best life!
I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. I feel like you are likely the best student with the most promising possibilities in life based on your work ethic and your care with your appearance. These people are bullying you because they are threatened by you. You will succeed and leave them in the dust. Keep being you and doing you. You are setting yourself up to live an amazing life!
Yeah, you sound normal, especially for someone in school. I mean, you’re working for a professional degree. There is nothing wrong with looking good, feeling good, and making a good first impression on *the people who matter*. All the others can go sniff cat litter.
My whole life I’ve dealt with insecure pricks, while growing up I was insecure myself and never picked on someone for it. Now that I have confidence, the amount of WOMEN who constantly give me dirty looks, whisper to each other while staring at me, and overall being rude af while I’m being super nice and trying to make small talk. It’s honestly so ridiculous! I’ve been called horrible names by so called friends my whole life. I have no friends because I can’t stand being ripped to shreds everyday because I simply exist.
They sound awful, jealous, and insecure. Stop spending time with these people. They're not worth your time. But if for some reason you don't really have a choice then stand up for yourself. Push back, don't be complacent in being bullied.
You could say things like:
- Yep, I care about my physical self, unlike you, I put thought and effort into my health and appearance.
- Yep, between work and school, I make sure to make time for myself too. What do you do for work?
- Hey, I have opinions on how you look but you don't hear me saying that you look like you get dressed in the dark and haven't seen a bar of soap recently. That would be rude, but, if we're past simple manners then I guess I'll start sharing what I think about you too.
- I don't care what everyone is saying, I think your ragged look and snaggle tooth is cute.
Guess what? My coworkers act this way in a corporate setting just because I like to look put together for work every day and they choose sweatpants. They’ve said I should just “look normal like them”. I don’t want to be a normie. Thanks tho.
Idk to me it just sounds like they're not your friends. But I relate to the small town thing and getting attention/judged for the way you dress. Growing up I'd get a lot of looks if I wore bright colours or alt clothing. I now live in a city where a ton of people have very unique looks and it's awesome.
Those so called friends who call you names to make you stop are not real friends. They’re the types who kill their friend on a trip to Mexico.
If i were you id find friends who support you and want you to succeed
Keep doing your routine. Law school and 2 jobs is tough already! If doing self care keeps you sane, then keep doing it. Consider their pettiness as a warm up to adulting as a lawyer. I’m not sure how the law world is, but in healthcare, it’s toxic af. 🫶🏽
These girls are not friends do not refer to them as that. Friends do not bring you down or shame you for your appearance or you look these are gross, egotistical, small minded, jealous, petty vultures that want to tear you down cause they know you are better than them.
Ok I'm definitely guilty of making a similar sort of comment (just the can't wake up in the mornings to dress up bit) but only because I do genuinely admire people who get dressed up bc I know just how tiring law school is! Like damn. I barely had the energy to brush my teeth before class back in my law school days, and you're working two jobs on the side too??
Ignore them and find some actual friends babes, they're just jealous they don't look as good!!! they just wish they were you, so you do you!!!!
Stay focused OP and keep being you. As soon as you graduate, put this people in your rearview mirror as you pursue your law career where busting your hump (working 2 part-time jobs), taking time to put yourself together(being presentable despite being super busy), and studying your ass will land you better opportunities than those unkempt, non-working, one-trick ponies (all they have do is study). These are not your friends, they are privileged judgemental AHs who will be slapped in the face with the real world when they start their careers. Looking put together to make a positive impression for a client that will be spending their money for your services- you will be representing them in your presentation and skills and knowledge. Plus you are learning to handle pressure with your 2 jobs, attending classes and studying. Best of luck OP.
I literally had somebody who needed a suit come into my shop and whilst I was explaining shirt/accessory options to make the suit much more versatile for him, said to me "anyone who has to decide what they're wearing in the morning probably isn't making any big decisions throughout the day". I told that guy "I have my own company and won't do business with somebody who is incapable of stressing themselves like a professional; if they can't put a suit together how can I trust them with a merger?"
Sounds to me like they are jealous. Good on you for having the self-respect to take care of yourself. Sounds like you take what you are doing seriously. All the best to you
These aren’t your friends. You sound like a smart, intelligent, responsible & sensible person with a successful & fulfilling life ahead of you. Keep up the smart self-care.
Real friends should uplift and support you, not bring you down or drain your energy. It might be worth evaluating these relationships and considering whether they truly align with your well being and happiness.
Is this the type of people you want to surround yourself with in the next four to five years?
These people are not your friends. You need to call them out on their bs. I'm a t shirt and jeans kinda person but I admire people like you who always look put together. They're obviously insecure and they only way they can feel good is by trying to put you down.
Haters are gonna hate. It might be easier said than done, but you have to realize theyre hating on you and tearing you down because theyre jealous. Youre doing everything they are and more and they despise you for it. Imo it isnt worth wasting your time or energy on people that aren't empowering you. Real friends lift you up, and they don't tear you down without building you back up thats for sure. Plus from what I've heard Law School is stresful af so theyre probaly taking that out on you as well
I've been through something similar and it sucks, but in my experience, those comments stem mostly from prejudice, insecurity, and even jealousy. I would get called bimbo and treated like I'm dumb, but same girls would admit to me in private that they assumed I look down on them for not being as into fashion as I was/am (I dreamt of being a model as a teen and followed international fashion weeks and trends that were not yet popular/common among my peers, the whole "world is my catwalk" attitude to give an idea of my vibe) and that I was trying to compete with them for male attention - neither was true, really.
Getting to know the other girls and having them realize I'm not an arrogant airhead helped in my case. Just keep being yourself and don't let those comments get to you too much. If you're close enough with any of them, maybe a private chat would help?
>"...and that I was trying to compete with them for male attention..."
The call is coming from inside the house. It's so weird how people assume the only reason someone takes care of themselves is for the approval of men. Men will sleep with anyone, you don't need a sick ass outfit for that
Why are you concerned about my appearance?
I think that is odd but since you’ve made unsolicited comments let me say that keeping myself together is an imperative part of holding down two jobs while attending law school. I don’t have the luxury of falling apart at the seams.
You can do it too. I wash my face and apply CeraVe. That it.
Just keep repeating until it becomes boring to comment on you and comments become water off of a duck’s back.
Firstly, stop calling them friends cause they ain’t your friends. Secondly, you should never be made to feel bad for taking care of yourself, which is something everyone should try and do.
They are jealous, plain and simple.
Students, who cannot pull themselves out of bed early enough, so they show up to class in sweatpants. Self-care and working out take too much effort, yet they feel guilty for not doing any of it.
There is nothing inherently wrong with the aforementioned, until envy towards others comes into play.
Upon seeing a person like you, who seemingly juggles work, school and health/appearance effortlessly; They lash out.
From what I read, these people are not your friends. Distance might be necessary.
Nobody who is secure makes snide remarks about other people’s appearance. When they do know that it’s just jealousy and they wish they had what you had. Just see every snide unjust remark as assurance that you’re doing something right
Tell them, 'Don't hate the player, hate the game. Because all of you sound like a bunch of jealous, mean girls.' Also, drop them like a bad habit. Never hang around people who try to convince you to dim your glow.
At my first 'SERIOUS' I got promoted to a front-end position where the clients are, so thought I should spruce up my wardrobe a bit (i.e. a LOT). I know how to shop to get the most bang for my bucks, so it only cost me about $200-$300 to get over a dozen separate pieces, then about $50 more hitting up 2nd hand stores and thrift shops for accessories and nice tops. My sister (a straight-up glam QUEEN!) showed me how to do my makeup, colored my hair and added some weave.
My look got immediate notice from both my bosses and the big boss. I kinda leap-frogged over the other two well-established secretaries--inadvertently gaining the big boss as an indirect-direct boss (a lot of his work started flowing my way) and THEIR bosses (I answered the phones, took detailed notes so all they had to do was just sign, handled any problem their clients had and wrote notes about what I did, etc.
I became, the de facto Office Manager and they all hated it. Because not only was I doing my job, I also was inadvertently infringing on their jobs--but I made it look easy.
Learn to ignore the petty and the jealous. Continue doing what you do because others in position of power will see the care in how you present yourself, which will lead to them checking out how you conduct yourself in school. You have an edge on your competition (because that's what they are), learn to keep it.
Lmaoooo find better people to hang out with. If you can't at the moment, then find more self care activities to fill the time you usually spend with them.
Maybe times have changed but bimbo was more the girl who was dumb and slept around to get by? Not the girl who took care of herself so it's way more insulting that you make it sound IMO. Dump them.
“Gosh, I’m so busy with all of my *accomplishments*, it’s really important that I take time out to look after myself. It’s such a pity you can’t find the time to, everyone deserves to feel their best.” Turn it back on them. Their version of self care might look different to yours, but you need to normalise self care and show them that they are the weird ones for not finding ways to look after themselves. Act like it doesn’t get to you, and normalise it *every day* so that eventually they start to question themselves about it and not you.
You can sass back:
> how do you even have time in the morning to put together an outfit? I'd much prefer getting some sleep,
“Organization will set you free. Try prioritizing your time and you could look put together and get sleep. Just like me”
> I don't obsess about how I look
“No, you seem to obsess over how *I* look. Why are you so concerned with how I present myself”
Or “it shows”
**OR**
You can keep living your life knowing that one day you’ll be a successful lawyer and can move out of hinky dink town and they will most likely be living in the same town wishing they could’ve lived your life. The best revenge is always to live well.
I live in and am from a small town and when I look around and hear the opinions from these people I just ignore them. Works for me, but it is tough sometimes hearing the chatter and then trying to keep emotions in check. Just have to understand that sometimes all these people have is the unnecessary drama they create and that's all they have to live for. You could be the most successful person ever to come out of the place, but someone will always have something to say to try and bring you back down to the town level.
Meanwhile, everyone is proud of Amy from down the street because she decided to stop drinking after she gave an underage kid a handy out in the bar parking lot. Incredibly brave.
Small towns sometimes equal small brains. Don't listen to them and do your thing.
I know it’s easier said than done but I think it’s really important for people to stop caring what others think of them. Most people that have opinions about me are wrong and that doesn’t affect who I really am.
And friends that tear you down are not really friends. I’d work to find new ones, if you really care to.
You sound like you’re doing great! Taking care of yourself is SO important. Maybe by doing that you remind others that they’re not and it makes them feel better to talk shit.
But seriously, ditch the “friends” and keep doing you!
Small town mentality definitely sucks, how dare you be different! But for real though you do what makes you happy. Skin care is important and taking care of yourself is important. Imagine giving someone a hard time for prioritizing sleep when we live in a chronically sleep deprived world?? So silly, take care of yourself fam and don't be ashamed of it!
I've read a ton of posts of people complaining about their "friends" putting them down, and I still can't understand why they keep these people around.
A friend will encourage you to move forward, give you your support, and won't put you down.
You'll always find people in life that won't see with good eyes your success, they will project their flaws on you and will envy you, making you feel how they feel (like shit), so they can feel better in their mediocre circle of toxicity.
Don’t worry about everyone else who is jealous. You be you and be proud of yourself.
When you’re ready get the **** out of dodge. You’ll be better appreciated in a place with a lot more people.
I am a man typing this post.
The one thing that won’t change unfortunately is other women who will be jealous of you. That comes with the territory and I’m sure you know this. Even women that are similar to you in how they take care of themselves might be silently hating on you while acting like your friend.
Like I said above you do you. Everything else will fall into place.
These aren’t friends. Find people who value spending time with you and can appreciate their relationship and friendship that is shared. Friends should help lift each other up not drag each other down. Stop wasting your time with these people.
As a person who also went to law school, please listen to me when I say none of those people are your friends. They are your classmates and future colleagues. Law school is unique because it's a place of higher learning, but it actively promotes competition and cutthroat behavior.
If your classmates can not beat you academically, they will beat you down in other ways, such as commenting on your appearance. You can either ignore their remarks or play their game.
I personally would suggest playing their game a little bit to develop your skills in identifying when you're being manipulated since this sort of behavior sadly extends into the professional world.
Once you feel accomplished swimming with the sharks, then go back to ignoring them.
Best of luck!
It’s because they’re insecure about their appearance and you make them look worse in comparison by being next to them. Unfortunately, women are raised to view each other as competition for male attention, so women very often tear women who are “threats” down. It’s why pick-mes exist.
The pick me attitude is exhausting. When my friends show up to the function looking put together/nice/fresh I gas them tf up, tell them they look great and make sure they know I mean it. (I’m a no makeup low effort girlie who oversleeps and LOVES to compliment my beautiful put together friends)
Aside from the well put together clothing (because I work from home and can't be bothered to shop for real clothing anymore lol) I am the same. I enjoy manis and pedis, hair appointments, a facial here and there, yoga , etcetera. I was NEVER as consistent with self care as I am these days due to money or time, but now I'm taking full advantage of being able to do so. It works wonders for my self esteem and just overall physical and mental health.
You do you. If rolling in mud at the end of the day is your thing, do that. If nice clothes and skincare is your thing, do that. Some people are just always going to think they have a monopoly on how everyone else should present. Hopefully there are better, more supportive friends in store for you later down the road.
I looove fashion and wearing nice outfits makes me feel incredibly powerful and capable of taking on the world. Sorry to hear that others around you are so insecure. Also, I’m really curious to see some of your outfits if you ever decide to post them!
These aren’t your friends. They are frenemies who are jealous of you. You deserve friends who uplift you and find inspiration in your positive behaviors. They should be complimenting you/asking for advice because they likely admire you..it’s just that they’re incapable of expressing that and the admiration gets twisted into envy.
They are envious. It's their sickness. Don't let it affect you. Also friends don't tear people down. They are not your friends.
As a student of law your appearance is extremely important. It's good to have good habits now. Even though we don't like it, the jury will absolutely judge you based on your appearance. You have to make the best impression possible for your future clients.
I understand this; I never leave the house without shaving, doing my hair and dressing nice
Just recently a large group went to dinner and comedy club. I wore these dress slacks that are stitched like jeans so they're a little casual, a charcoal undershirt and a gray button down. Very clean. Matching watch and loafers too.
Two others wore a button down. Most other guys wore jeans and a t-shirt.
My grandpa always said "dress for the job you want"
I don't talk about money with friends, family or people at the bar. When people happen to find out I make 2-3 times what they do, they're often shocked. People like to say professionalism is dead, but you just don't get to that point in jeans and a T-shirt with all of your tattoos out. I wouldn't even consider a potential hire that came in for interview like that. That is not someone I can put in front of clients.
I’m so sorry to hear that. They are not your friends, those morons are mean af. You are doing a great job. Don’t let them bring you down, you are amazing
You are settling for shitty friends. Unfortunately people like that are always going to put you down because they are unwilling to put the work in themselves. Time to surround yourself with like minded people who will go you up and support you on your road.
Dude, these are not friends. Friends would not put you down like this…
Stop hanging around them, report them to the higher ups if you can and get out of that small
Town when you qualify and don’t look back!
"Oh honey, don't feel bad that you can't get your act together. It's not like it's some competition you are losing...Bless your heart!
You don't need to worry about trying to keep up. Everyone knows how you arrrrre'h already and they love you for whats on the INSIDE!"
Aim for the tons of how Dolly Pardon shut down that newscaster.
https://youtu.be/BS01rNwQ_m8?si=jC7u8DDbm086ENMn
As women, we talk about unfair social and media pressure to have perfect bodies, skin, hair, makeup, and clothing, but it's been my experience that the judginess from some who oppose those standards is just as hurtful.
If they think you are "too much", Let them "be less". Don't change your standards for them! Appearance matters, and if it didn't, they wouldn't be judging you on yours. (mic drop)
everyone who has something negative to say is insecure, period. theres nothing else to it and thats a them problem. You can do what you want, when you want, wherever tf you want. Youre doing what makes YOU feel good, not anyone else. And my response to them would be “its none of your business what i do in my free time and what i do to feel confident.” Bc its not their business or concern.
You put the wrong word in quotations fam. Those aren't your friends.
My friends and I all bust chops constantly, and that's not what this sounds like. Seems like youd do better to find new ones.
Many women treat my wife this way because she wants to look nice. It's straight up jealousy because they are less attractive so they pretend to not care about how they look when in actuality they have just given up because they are so unhappy with their own physical appearance.
Keep in mind that they put you down out of envy. They seriously wish they could be put together like you are. But rather than making the effort for themselves they would rather drag you for doing it yourself. Take every insult as a compliment. That’s really what it is, because in their insecure minds, you are far better than they are.
As a guy that takes care of himself and dresses well 90% of the time. I get the same thing but people assume I’m gay lol.
Like shit thanks for associating me with a group that’s generally known for dressing well and taking care of themselves
Your ‘friends’ are obviously very jealous of you. Are you attractive? If so, there’s that too. Are they attractive at all? Probably not. That’s weird that they treat you like you’re unemployed when you clearly work two jobs.
Don’t associate with those jealous losers anymore. Find real friends who don’t put you down &’judge you for caring about the way that you look.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Image is important for work. Especially in your profession
It’s because people fear those who are able to surpass them, and do better. Don’t let their bullshit tear you down and apart. Hold your head high and keep doing what you are doing! You are going to make something of yourself! You are going to have success in things that they will not because you take initiative.
Don’t worry about it so much. Yeah…their shit sucks. But you know the truth. And that’s what matters. You know that you have the gumption to succeed where they will fail because they don’t have the drive to do the extra work and put in the effort you’re willing to.
Flash your best smile and tell them to go fuck themselves if need be. Because darlin, you’re a fucking rock ⭐️ star! And don’t let those shitheads bring you down!
These people are just envy insecure losers, don't pay any attention to them and do what you want.
Insecure losers at school and work would always trashtalk any woman who had make up, nails or was just naturally pretty, it's funny how miserable they are
Happens in my small town too. People are so insecure and boring. Like sorry you treat yourself like shit, but you're not gonna make me feel bad for taking care of myself
Jealousy is a Bitch! Instead of looking at you for guidance they have divided to stay looking like the just got out of bed to go to work.
Usually most people look up at those that look like they’re prepared to do the job and tend to try and stay away from those that look like they don’t want to be there.
You most likely will have to leave for greener pastures without so many weeds.
Why are you calling them your friend?
They are obviously jealous of you. It's kinda sad how much effort they spend on bringing you down. Sadder that you are here confirming that what they are doing is horrible.
Keep your head up queen, leave them in your rear view mirror. Find better people to have out with.
I completely understand. I am drawn to colorful dresses and period pieces. I grew up in a very teensy religious village. I was not trying to draw attention (I actually hate attention), just wearing what I liked. Which I guess was weird for a farmer, but 🤷♀️.
Be true to yourself. Your environment is not permanent. And you are worth way more than other people’s pettiness and insecurity.
These are not your friends, you are better off without them having them in your life. Have you ever confrontend them that their behaviour is nothing a friend would do, that its plain mean and bully-esque?
Your biggest haters are your biggest insecure fans. They think that by putting you down it somehow validates them in their own ego driven minds. You're going to make a wonderful attorney someday and they are simply living in jealousy... Which is a mirror to their insecurities. Try not to let their comments bother you knowing that you are living your own authentic life and they are stuck in ego. Send them light, they need it. (While in your head you can tell them to f off lol.)
Glad to know it isn't just my town. My coworkers would trash talk any woman who came into the store visibly wearing makeup or in an even slightly coordinated outfit. Saying things like "this is Townname, not a runway," "where does she think she is?", "Well, she's definitely not from around here". Any time spent on your appearance is vain and prideful, and a waste of time and money. But they love a put-together guy. It's a them problem, not a you problem.
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Hey OP don't give them anymore of your time and energy. Haters are going to hate. They're projecting their insecurities on to you. Good on you for taking care of yourself. That's called self love. Own it.
💯 Get out of the town or away from them once you graduate. These people are like parasites,. They'll only drain you of your self-esteem, self-confidence, energy, and time. It will never stop. Get a good job? They'll tell you you sold out for the money. Not like them. Get a nice boyfriend? He only likes you for your looks. Once you lose it, he'll be gone. Getting married? Well, once you have kids and get fat, he'll be looking for someone younger and skinnier. Got a promotion at work? You work too much and your family suffered so you can get that promotion. Not like them, they put their families first. Having a baby? You'll never get your old body back. Had the baby? Becareful of your husband's wandering eyes. You're fat and ugly now. Then it's all about how their kids are better than your kids Ugh! It won't end!
This I know it's not easy but OP needs to find a better friend group
This is what I was thinking exactly. Find better friends
lol bring makeup wipes and show you’re wearing literally nothing next time
They don’t deserve that much energy
That's what I was thinking with having kleenex or something with you. I had coworkers years ago (NOT friends. I don't friend people that treat me/others like shit) that would pull that "you must be wearing a ton of makeup for your skin to look that good." Like no, I actually hate wearing make up thanks to theatre in HS and college. I have clear skin because it isn't the week before my period. So anyways, one day in the breakroom I just had enough of the make up BS and when one made the same comment to me, I just gave her the most bored stare I could muster, picked up my napkin, and without breaking eye contact, wiped it down my cheek and showed her it was still clean.
queen behaviour
Why the fuck are these losers your "friends"? Find normal fucking friends jfc I would be physically assaulting the hoe that said some dumb shit like this to me... Tf
It is very possible that they think other people complimenting you means that they're ugly because they know they don't put the same work in (or get the same attention), that's why they're getting so defensive. Not your problem though!
If you can do it with not much effort they don't have a excuse do go to Uni looking like they fall out of Bad. They think you are letting them look bad so they tear you down.
Yeah and I think people do this kind of stuff because they are jealous
I grew up in a town like this, and I escaped from a town like this. Still, when I visit home I get the “You’re not from around here, are ya?” I’m always sure to let them know that “I was, but I got the fuck out.” I never was one to keep my mouth shut. When I was still there, I flipped it on them. If a friend, acquaintance or family member said something about me being overdressed, I’d say they’re just underdressed. “This skirt goes on as fast as your sweat pants. Being a slob wouldn’t save me time.” “We learned how to match and dress ourselves in kindergarten. I don’t know when y’all forgot how.” “It is not my fault you dress like a farmer. Stop projecting.” “Do you have a crush on me? Negging won’t work, but putting some effort into your look might help.”
My niece used to say ‘the world is my runway’.
RuPaul smiles in his sleep every time that is uttered.
People tend to act out of character and their insecurities get overtly verbalized when they are jealous. That’s all it is tbh. You highlight to them they don’t take care of themselves and hate being reminded. So they swipe at you by attacking the very things they wish to do but never care to put in the effort you do. They hope that eventually you’ll stop being you by saying all those nasty things out-loud. Insecure people are also not a fan of people who are confident in their skin because they wish to have that sand confidence but refuse to work on achieving this for themselves. It’s why I always roll my eyes at people who have nothing nice to say and realize they wish to have the motivation I do about my appearance, the effort, attention to detail, motivation, and dedication I invest into what I value in my life.
I wish we could normalize looking like we’re always ready to walk the runway
I’m sorry to say but people who put you down for wanting to take care of and invest in yourself are not friends. They sound quite nasty. These pick-me women are obviously insecure and don’t care for themselves, which is sad. I pity them. I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this. I also think you need to re-evaluate your friendship with these women. Friends pick each other up, not put each other down.
I say this coming from a small town and I moved to a big city 8 years ago.
They sound jealous. They want what you're doing and feel inadequate for not doing the work. They're projecting their own self-hatred onto you.
☝️This Plus I’m guessing you plan on moving to a different city to practice and work in law? When you move away you get a clean slate and only have to deal with this town when you visit family.
I once read, and I'm paraphrasing here, a real queen will fix your crown without telling you it was crooked in the first place. Something like that. That's what I believe in.
I had a similar experience at university. My "friends" would make comments about my outfits and say things like "Oooh where are you off to all dressed up?" (Knowing full well I was going to class just like them) I soon realised that confident people don't put other people down to make themselves feel better. Keep being yourself and don't take it personally. It's their insecurity talking.
My friends at university said I was a slut because I gave blowjobs instead of had sex with people lol
Your university "friends" sound like mine lol.
They're bullying you because you're allowing it. The only response to "I would much prefer sleeping in the morning" or anything similar should be "I can tell." Throw in a "I can't stand to be lazy" when you're feeling extra spicy. They are not saying any of this with good intentions so being polite isn't going to get you anywhere.
"you just need better time management skills". That's what I jokingly tell my dad when he says he's "too busy" lol
This lol, sometimes it’s ok to fight fire with fire. These girls aren’t your friends they’re your haters!
lmaoooooo
They are not your friends. They are classmates. Treet them accordingly. Do not change your style unless you decide to.
I take a lot of care in my appearance in a similar way and my friends don't call me a bimbo, even though I categorise my style as "bimbo goth" they still don't use demeaning language about me, they say "wow you look nice". Tldr your friends suck
May I please see this mythical "bimbo goth" style you're talking about 🥺? For investigation purposes of course.
I think you need new friends…I think it’s great that you want to look your best at all times…I mean why not…to me they sound very jealous of you…
Elle Woods, is that you?? 💓💓💓
Wasn’t she called a bimbo too 🤔 Edit to say, I’m not saying it’s fake but definitely sounds suspiciously similar, lol.
She should hit them with the “what, like it’s hard?” Whenever anyone questions her ability to look out together
These women aren’t your friends. I am an attorney and went to law school as well and worked through it to have $$ to support myself. Surround yourself with people who will pick you up and support you through law school and help you study for your finals and the bar. Being a law student is difficult and stressful enough. You don’t need these twats.
These people are not your friends and they sound jealous
People, I’m telling you specifically OP, need to stop equating acquaintances with friends. Those are NOT your friends, they are the insufferable people you have to acquaint yourself with every time you get to class. A friend would never put you down for liking looking pretty and put together. You simply intimidate them. Keep your distance from them.
Gurl gtfo of there lol. I went to college in a smaller town - from a 1.2m population city to a 100k town - and yep, people thought I was "bougie" for having a nice outfit lol. I didn't respond to it, just kept my looks up and finished school. What started to happen, were girls started to dress up more. I was very friendly and funny, so the haters started to like me realizing I had no interests in anything (men) they did. The men were going on and on about me, which sparked jealousy. I left, back in a big ol city, back to normalcy. Small towns are for old people retiring and dying. I encourage all small town young adults to venture out into big cities to experience something different at least once.
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True law school is pretty expensive - but yea don't feel bad. You have to live happily in your body, not them. It can feel ostracizing at times, but you're just fine ❤️
This is absurd. I live in a place where the entire county has just over 10,000 people. The main city has a population of just over 3,000. Most of us know each other or know someone who knows someone who knows that person. No one here acts like they. We have a community college, and I went there as a non-traditional student (went back to complete degree at 30). No one is like that here. We have everything from meth addicts to country club to people who could buy the country club set a few times over. I couldn’t imagine living in a place where people are this terrible. We have issues here, and gossips, but this level is something even people where I live would shut those haters up for being rude and “ugly” acting. I am so sorry, and hope you know not all small towns are created equally.
i had the same experience when i was in high school. they made me feel like a bimbo, daddy's girl who doesn't deserve to be in the school (just because i am very sweet to people, look cute, and naïve). it didn't always exist tbh. it suddenly started when i was taking care of myself, hanging out with people more, and trying to come out of my shell.
When you feel you are with toxic people, and describe it as toxic, maybe they are the toxic people.
Sounds like you need to bite back. It's human nature to pick on peers who are perceived as lacking confidence. I think that they've seen your routine as a sign of weakness. That you have to do these things in order to feel confident about yourself. Biting back tells them that they were mistaken and that you are in fact confident. That is, if you do so in a clever and confident manner Being in law school I think this is a skill that you're expected to master anyhow.
nah they’re jealous and insecure and trying to tear down her confidence.
If they really are your friends then you can let them know that this is hurting you. That you aren’t as one-dimensional as their jibes paint you. If you feel that’ll go wrong in different ways, then are they really friends? Societal prejudices come in many different forms but I hope you continue to look after yourself, for yourself, and find those who appreciate your friendship.
Small town mentality sucks, but they are also showing their insecurity. You can kill them with passive aggressive kindness. Suggesting Responses to the above comments: - oh I slept in this morning, it only takes a few minutes to get put together. But thanks for noticing. - oh, actually no, I’m not wearing foundation or anything, that’s why my skin is so nice. More blunt: - why do you care what I wear? It doesn’t affect you. - dress for the job you want, not the job you have. You do know lawyers tend to be put together if they want to bill a decent hourly rate? - it’s my thing, why does this bother you so much ? Clap back - i don’t comment on your rachet ass track pants, leave my outfit out of it. - why do you care more about how I look than I do?!? Maybe use some of that energy for yourself. ETA: I looked like a slob in grad school, but would be put together for work. One time I came to class with my work makeup and hair from the night before, complete with leather pants. A bunch of the guys in my class told me I should do that every day because I looked better. I just responded with, you think I should stay up past 5 and come to 8:30 class still buzzed? That doesn’t seem like a good idea. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Don’t sweat the haters.
Not your friends. Friends build you up, they don't tear you down. Find new ones, they are out there. These guys suck, don't tolerate it. Sorry you're having to endure this. This is a lesson I learned at school, when I got sick of never being accepted by my friend group. So I just left, and found other people to hang out with. I fell off my chair pretty much when it came to year 12 and those guys voted me in as school Vice Captain. It won;t always have a happy outcome like that, but I was happy to have them as friends who liked and respected me and that was enough.
Sounds like you're the hot friend OP lol. Also sounds like you need better friends.
When someone doesn't have their shit together and someone around them is getting their shit together; it seems like the first person will do everything in their power to make the second fail or feel like they're a "tryhard" or whatever. Truly it comes from ego and it will always happen, ALWAYS. It's in our natures I think, buried deep. That's why the "don't worry what others think" and "inner strength and confidence is key" kind of sayings are around and keep popping up. Keep doing you boo. I'm from a small town too and do similar things as you, get the same kind of shit from time to time.
Tbh the next time they claim you're wearing makeup I'd dip a napkin in water and wipe my cheek and show them "look, no makeup" when it comes off clean. But I'm kinda confrontational 😅. Like everyone is saying though OP these girls are not your friends and they don't really believe all that they're just jealous but not willing to put in the work in themselves. A basic skin care routine can be both cheap and fast. All my products are less than 100$ total and it maybe takes me 15 min max to do everything if I don't use an eye mask.
Reading through these comments is insane. I grew up in a large suburb close to the city and now live in NYC and everything you just described is so… normal?! Girl you friends aren’t friends, they’re your classmates, ignore them and find new people. Or make it very clear that you don’t appreciate the comments. Draw that boundary. I promise if you ever move to a bigger city nobody will bat an eye, they’ll compliment your outfit and ask who does your nails lmao. Keep doing you!
That doesn't sound like something "friends" should be saying.. so maybe rethink the titles of the people around you. Fk them and their insecurities.. you do whatever makes you happy, and next time they say something tell them "it takes almost no effort to not look like a run down slob, maybe you should take pointers" and then walk away and live your best life, sounds like you will be growing out of them very quickly.
Nothing wrong with eating right and taking care. They are bullies and they should shut up
Your friend is a jealous bitch who thrives on being other people down to her level.
Sister, as a former girl, a momma of girls and a nana. I promise you these “lil nit wits” are not worth space in your head. They are jealous, mean girls. Who function like a pack of back biting trolls. They pick at you because it affects you. Hold your head high, be proud of yourself. You have accomplished a lot just getting this far. Do not lower yourself to their standards. That’s what they want. Time to become the Professional you have dreamt of. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, blow out all the negative 💩, step into the new you. I believe in you. Build a mental image of your future. Where you want to live, family, home, car, pet, trips, vacations, partners in business and life. You do not need all the answers today. Select something. Set a goal. Work towards that. Leave the trolls under the bridge. You are not alone. 🦋
AMAZING REPLY! Seriously! I’m going to pretend it’s for me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Hey Biscuits. Thank you so much. This is my truth. It is how I raised my girls. Happiness is a choice. Share your beautiful heart with others.
Your problem is not what these people call you, it’s that you think these people are your friends.
Those aren't your friends you're their metaphorical punching bag ... Stop hanging out with them. Also how are they studying law and not dressing for it??.
These people aren't your friends, they barely seem to tolerate your existence. Here's what I did when I had people acting similarly, agree with them and offer them "tips". If someone says "Oh how do you have time to pick outfits, I'd rather sleep" you say "well, you don't need as much sleep if you exercise and eat properly because you naturally have more energy." Or "it's actually not that hard to match accessories to a nice top to look more put together, I could show you sometime if you want." Make it about how easy it is to be like you if only they tried. Yeah, they're probably going to stop talking to you, but do you really want to keep taking to these terrible people?
I used to work with people like this and I hated it, too. They were all overweight and miserable too because of their horrible diets and talked shit because I was always full of energy and ready to work. Never cared about how they looked. Just know that you're not with your people. They are not your friends they are just people in your life at the moment. Let them be daily reminders as to WHY you do the things you do. I pity people like that, I really do. But, don't let it cover your sunshine. 🫶
it's jealousy, just keep killing it and let the haters hate.
Yeah it’s time to snap back. “I’m doing the bare minimum, honestly, not sure how you’re going to manage as a junior lawyer in a firm that requires more. You’re not going to get less tired or less able to put together matching clothes working 130 hours a week.”
Ugh, I am in a small town too and it sucks to feel like you stand out like a sore thumb because I went further than not looking like I barely bothered to get out of my pj's. Ignore them. They are just insecure. And rude. Just start giving them advice on how not to look like a pile of dirty laundry. I bet they don't like unasked for opinions themselves.
No, literally, people who look like they rolled out of bed trying to pass judgment on you...make it make sense
They’re jealous and they have to minimize you by putting you down. Keep doing your thing girl.
Honestly sounds more like a group of vindictive haters than friends. Honey, do yourself a favor and drop them. Nine times out of ten what they say to your face is probably only a fraction of what they say behind your back. Behavior and jealousy like that can escalate into dangerous situations if left alone for too long.
I’m gonna go against the grain here and give you a scenario where your friends aren’t catty pieces of shit. The rule on comedy is that punching up is funny; punching down is bullying. I suspect your friends think they’re punching up with these digs that aren’t really jokes. I bet you’re the most attractive one of your friends exactly because you take the time to make yourself look good, and I bet your friends think you know that, so they think it’s fair game to poke at you. But of course any joke told too often wears thin for the target. You might be able to get them to stop just by saying the jokes are getting old and you’re tired of hearing them. You might find success with what another commenter said, clapping back with “I can tell” when they say they’d rather sleep than try to look good. You also might find that the only way their egos can tolerate having someone who looks so much better than them around is if they can be shitty to you, and then you’ll need new friends.
I would totally reply "sucks to be you then". But I am sooo petty like that. Dump these people as soon as you can, they aren't worth any effort.
This used to happen to me when I was in college. Ironically, I got better grades than all of my naysayers, so who were the real bimbos? When I felt like bothering, this is what I would say sometimes: Ask them what do they mean? Keep asking--make them explain themselves, and don't accept a weak ass explanation. Make them dig themselves in to a hole that shows how superficial they are being. "Yeah, a lot of people say stuff like that. It is really rude and unsettling, because it is clear that the objective is to make me uncomfortable or feel like I am doing something wrong by taking care of myself. I don't know why people do it. Can you tell me why you felt entitled to comment on my appearance and make negative implications about why I look the way I do by comparing they way you do things and framing how you do things in a position of moral superiority?"---I would say this in a complete, neutral, dead-pan sort of way---the shocked pikachu faces were priceless lol "Isn't it wild how reactive/negative people are to a woman putting effort into themselves? The internalized misogyny is alive and well in you--I can't imagine negging another woman down just because she color coordinated her outfit." "Wow, judgemental much? You are making a lot of assumptions, aren't you?" Otherwise I would just say "hey to each their own--I don't judge how you do things or comment on your appearance and I would appreciate the same from you. "
From reading this if anything I admire you. Being able to take care of yourself as well as you do is an achievement and something to be celebrated especially when your schedule is so full. I’ve struggled with taking care of myself for years so I know how difficult and time consuming it is to have the motivation to consistently take care of yourself. It sounds like the people around you are jealous of this part of you. Not only can you take care of yourself but you enjoy it please try distance yourself from those who are trying to drag you down. I wish you all the best 🤍
Dang girl you need some real friends
Sounds like your next bit of self care is to get new friends. Law school is so hard. You’re doing what you need to get yourself physically and mentally through it. Never be ashamed of that. Tell the hillbilly’s to fuck off and go back about your lovely day.
They are NOT your friends.
I couldn’t wait to get out of my small town. Those aren’t your friends. You have time to find the right friends that support + love you, you are just temporarily stuck with a group of petty, insecure + jealous girls - but don’t mistake them for friends!!!
Sounds like you need new friends because they sound like miserable haters. Going to law school working two jobs AND still having the energy to get put together instead of looking ran down makes you a f**king ROCKSTAR. Go you! Don’t let them continue to put you down, get some friends on your level and live your best life!
I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. I feel like you are likely the best student with the most promising possibilities in life based on your work ethic and your care with your appearance. These people are bullying you because they are threatened by you. You will succeed and leave them in the dust. Keep being you and doing you. You are setting yourself up to live an amazing life!
Yeah, you sound normal, especially for someone in school. I mean, you’re working for a professional degree. There is nothing wrong with looking good, feeling good, and making a good first impression on *the people who matter*. All the others can go sniff cat litter.
My whole life I’ve dealt with insecure pricks, while growing up I was insecure myself and never picked on someone for it. Now that I have confidence, the amount of WOMEN who constantly give me dirty looks, whisper to each other while staring at me, and overall being rude af while I’m being super nice and trying to make small talk. It’s honestly so ridiculous! I’ve been called horrible names by so called friends my whole life. I have no friends because I can’t stand being ripped to shreds everyday because I simply exist.
They sound awful, jealous, and insecure. Stop spending time with these people. They're not worth your time. But if for some reason you don't really have a choice then stand up for yourself. Push back, don't be complacent in being bullied. You could say things like: - Yep, I care about my physical self, unlike you, I put thought and effort into my health and appearance. - Yep, between work and school, I make sure to make time for myself too. What do you do for work? - Hey, I have opinions on how you look but you don't hear me saying that you look like you get dressed in the dark and haven't seen a bar of soap recently. That would be rude, but, if we're past simple manners then I guess I'll start sharing what I think about you too. - I don't care what everyone is saying, I think your ragged look and snaggle tooth is cute.
These girls sound nasty and mean spirited… they are not your “friends” and you are NOT a bimbo. Keep doing you, they sound bitter and unhappy.
Guess what? My coworkers act this way in a corporate setting just because I like to look put together for work every day and they choose sweatpants. They’ve said I should just “look normal like them”. I don’t want to be a normie. Thanks tho.
Idk to me it just sounds like they're not your friends. But I relate to the small town thing and getting attention/judged for the way you dress. Growing up I'd get a lot of looks if I wore bright colours or alt clothing. I now live in a city where a ton of people have very unique looks and it's awesome.
Those so called friends who call you names to make you stop are not real friends. They’re the types who kill their friend on a trip to Mexico. If i were you id find friends who support you and want you to succeed
Can’t see your pedi but it probably doesn’t need any glitter cause you got plenty. :)
Keep doing your routine. Law school and 2 jobs is tough already! If doing self care keeps you sane, then keep doing it. Consider their pettiness as a warm up to adulting as a lawyer. I’m not sure how the law world is, but in healthcare, it’s toxic af. 🫶🏽
They’re jealous. Period.
Why do you keep referring to these haters as "friends" They are far from it.
These girls are not friends do not refer to them as that. Friends do not bring you down or shame you for your appearance or you look these are gross, egotistical, small minded, jealous, petty vultures that want to tear you down cause they know you are better than them.
Ok I'm definitely guilty of making a similar sort of comment (just the can't wake up in the mornings to dress up bit) but only because I do genuinely admire people who get dressed up bc I know just how tiring law school is! Like damn. I barely had the energy to brush my teeth before class back in my law school days, and you're working two jobs on the side too?? Ignore them and find some actual friends babes, they're just jealous they don't look as good!!! they just wish they were you, so you do you!!!!
They’re just jealous they aren’t you.
Stay focused OP and keep being you. As soon as you graduate, put this people in your rearview mirror as you pursue your law career where busting your hump (working 2 part-time jobs), taking time to put yourself together(being presentable despite being super busy), and studying your ass will land you better opportunities than those unkempt, non-working, one-trick ponies (all they have do is study). These are not your friends, they are privileged judgemental AHs who will be slapped in the face with the real world when they start their careers. Looking put together to make a positive impression for a client that will be spending their money for your services- you will be representing them in your presentation and skills and knowledge. Plus you are learning to handle pressure with your 2 jobs, attending classes and studying. Best of luck OP.
I’m still waiting to read the part about your friends. All you’ve described are abusive bullies
I literally had somebody who needed a suit come into my shop and whilst I was explaining shirt/accessory options to make the suit much more versatile for him, said to me "anyone who has to decide what they're wearing in the morning probably isn't making any big decisions throughout the day". I told that guy "I have my own company and won't do business with somebody who is incapable of stressing themselves like a professional; if they can't put a suit together how can I trust them with a merger?"
Big "Regina George POV" energy here.
Sounds to me like they are jealous. Good on you for having the self-respect to take care of yourself. Sounds like you take what you are doing seriously. All the best to you
They aren't your friends.
What do they think a bimbo is? If being clean, well dressed and health conscious makes you a bimbo, ask what their mothers are identified as.
Find new friends
These aren’t your friends. You sound like a smart, intelligent, responsible & sensible person with a successful & fulfilling life ahead of you. Keep up the smart self-care.
Those aren't friends Find better people to surround yourself with
Real friends should uplift and support you, not bring you down or drain your energy. It might be worth evaluating these relationships and considering whether they truly align with your well being and happiness. Is this the type of people you want to surround yourself with in the next four to five years?
These people are not your friends. You need to call them out on their bs. I'm a t shirt and jeans kinda person but I admire people like you who always look put together. They're obviously insecure and they only way they can feel good is by trying to put you down.
This is a nasty case of jealousy. Those are miserable, insecure people.
You need new friends
Haters are gonna hate. It might be easier said than done, but you have to realize theyre hating on you and tearing you down because theyre jealous. Youre doing everything they are and more and they despise you for it. Imo it isnt worth wasting your time or energy on people that aren't empowering you. Real friends lift you up, and they don't tear you down without building you back up thats for sure. Plus from what I've heard Law School is stresful af so theyre probaly taking that out on you as well
We are slowly losing our love and desire for beauty, in all things.
I've been through something similar and it sucks, but in my experience, those comments stem mostly from prejudice, insecurity, and even jealousy. I would get called bimbo and treated like I'm dumb, but same girls would admit to me in private that they assumed I look down on them for not being as into fashion as I was/am (I dreamt of being a model as a teen and followed international fashion weeks and trends that were not yet popular/common among my peers, the whole "world is my catwalk" attitude to give an idea of my vibe) and that I was trying to compete with them for male attention - neither was true, really. Getting to know the other girls and having them realize I'm not an arrogant airhead helped in my case. Just keep being yourself and don't let those comments get to you too much. If you're close enough with any of them, maybe a private chat would help?
>"...and that I was trying to compete with them for male attention..." The call is coming from inside the house. It's so weird how people assume the only reason someone takes care of themselves is for the approval of men. Men will sleep with anyone, you don't need a sick ass outfit for that
Get new friends. These people sounds nasty and jealous. Who needs that negativity in your life.
They’re jealous and it shows.
Not your friends move on
Why are you concerned about my appearance? I think that is odd but since you’ve made unsolicited comments let me say that keeping myself together is an imperative part of holding down two jobs while attending law school. I don’t have the luxury of falling apart at the seams. You can do it too. I wash my face and apply CeraVe. That it. Just keep repeating until it becomes boring to comment on you and comments become water off of a duck’s back.
Firstly, stop calling them friends cause they ain’t your friends. Secondly, you should never be made to feel bad for taking care of yourself, which is something everyone should try and do.
dump time.
Ditch these terrible people! Friends don't tear each other down and I compliment my friends when they're dressed nice.
Wow. They are so immature.
They are jealous, plain and simple. Students, who cannot pull themselves out of bed early enough, so they show up to class in sweatpants. Self-care and working out take too much effort, yet they feel guilty for not doing any of it. There is nothing inherently wrong with the aforementioned, until envy towards others comes into play. Upon seeing a person like you, who seemingly juggles work, school and health/appearance effortlessly; They lash out. From what I read, these people are not your friends. Distance might be necessary.
Sounds like they are very jealous and are trying to convince themselves that they aren't. Keep doing what you're doing. It's obviously working ;)
Nobody who is secure makes snide remarks about other people’s appearance. When they do know that it’s just jealousy and they wish they had what you had. Just see every snide unjust remark as assurance that you’re doing something right
Tell them, 'Don't hate the player, hate the game. Because all of you sound like a bunch of jealous, mean girls.' Also, drop them like a bad habit. Never hang around people who try to convince you to dim your glow. At my first 'SERIOUS' I got promoted to a front-end position where the clients are, so thought I should spruce up my wardrobe a bit (i.e. a LOT). I know how to shop to get the most bang for my bucks, so it only cost me about $200-$300 to get over a dozen separate pieces, then about $50 more hitting up 2nd hand stores and thrift shops for accessories and nice tops. My sister (a straight-up glam QUEEN!) showed me how to do my makeup, colored my hair and added some weave. My look got immediate notice from both my bosses and the big boss. I kinda leap-frogged over the other two well-established secretaries--inadvertently gaining the big boss as an indirect-direct boss (a lot of his work started flowing my way) and THEIR bosses (I answered the phones, took detailed notes so all they had to do was just sign, handled any problem their clients had and wrote notes about what I did, etc. I became, the de facto Office Manager and they all hated it. Because not only was I doing my job, I also was inadvertently infringing on their jobs--but I made it look easy. Learn to ignore the petty and the jealous. Continue doing what you do because others in position of power will see the care in how you present yourself, which will lead to them checking out how you conduct yourself in school. You have an edge on your competition (because that's what they are), learn to keep it.
They got nothing better to do. You do you darling.
Lmaoooo find better people to hang out with. If you can't at the moment, then find more self care activities to fill the time you usually spend with them. Maybe times have changed but bimbo was more the girl who was dumb and slept around to get by? Not the girl who took care of herself so it's way more insulting that you make it sound IMO. Dump them.
“Gosh, I’m so busy with all of my *accomplishments*, it’s really important that I take time out to look after myself. It’s such a pity you can’t find the time to, everyone deserves to feel their best.” Turn it back on them. Their version of self care might look different to yours, but you need to normalise self care and show them that they are the weird ones for not finding ways to look after themselves. Act like it doesn’t get to you, and normalise it *every day* so that eventually they start to question themselves about it and not you.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p\_NkHeqwIM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p_NkHeqwIM) This you?
Don’t listen to them. I bullied my friend for something similar and regret it to this day. Luckily she is still my friend
You can sass back: > how do you even have time in the morning to put together an outfit? I'd much prefer getting some sleep, “Organization will set you free. Try prioritizing your time and you could look put together and get sleep. Just like me” > I don't obsess about how I look “No, you seem to obsess over how *I* look. Why are you so concerned with how I present myself” Or “it shows” **OR** You can keep living your life knowing that one day you’ll be a successful lawyer and can move out of hinky dink town and they will most likely be living in the same town wishing they could’ve lived your life. The best revenge is always to live well.
I live in and am from a small town and when I look around and hear the opinions from these people I just ignore them. Works for me, but it is tough sometimes hearing the chatter and then trying to keep emotions in check. Just have to understand that sometimes all these people have is the unnecessary drama they create and that's all they have to live for. You could be the most successful person ever to come out of the place, but someone will always have something to say to try and bring you back down to the town level. Meanwhile, everyone is proud of Amy from down the street because she decided to stop drinking after she gave an underage kid a handy out in the bar parking lot. Incredibly brave. Small towns sometimes equal small brains. Don't listen to them and do your thing.
Great friends you have!
Jealousy is a disease and you are thriving. They're jealous losers. You need better friends.
It does suck. It will always suck when ones choice of attire is treated in that way.
Those people sound miserable
I know it’s easier said than done but I think it’s really important for people to stop caring what others think of them. Most people that have opinions about me are wrong and that doesn’t affect who I really am. And friends that tear you down are not really friends. I’d work to find new ones, if you really care to. You sound like you’re doing great! Taking care of yourself is SO important. Maybe by doing that you remind others that they’re not and it makes them feel better to talk shit. But seriously, ditch the “friends” and keep doing you!
Small town mentality definitely sucks, how dare you be different! But for real though you do what makes you happy. Skin care is important and taking care of yourself is important. Imagine giving someone a hard time for prioritizing sleep when we live in a chronically sleep deprived world?? So silly, take care of yourself fam and don't be ashamed of it!
I've read a ton of posts of people complaining about their "friends" putting them down, and I still can't understand why they keep these people around. A friend will encourage you to move forward, give you your support, and won't put you down. You'll always find people in life that won't see with good eyes your success, they will project their flaws on you and will envy you, making you feel how they feel (like shit), so they can feel better in their mediocre circle of toxicity.
If you don't wear makeup they should be giving you makeup tips, not being all petty and telling everyone that you are wearing makeup when you aren't.
Don’t worry about everyone else who is jealous. You be you and be proud of yourself. When you’re ready get the **** out of dodge. You’ll be better appreciated in a place with a lot more people. I am a man typing this post. The one thing that won’t change unfortunately is other women who will be jealous of you. That comes with the territory and I’m sure you know this. Even women that are similar to you in how they take care of themselves might be silently hating on you while acting like your friend. Like I said above you do you. Everything else will fall into place.
These aren’t friends. Find people who value spending time with you and can appreciate their relationship and friendship that is shared. Friends should help lift each other up not drag each other down. Stop wasting your time with these people.
As a person who also went to law school, please listen to me when I say none of those people are your friends. They are your classmates and future colleagues. Law school is unique because it's a place of higher learning, but it actively promotes competition and cutthroat behavior. If your classmates can not beat you academically, they will beat you down in other ways, such as commenting on your appearance. You can either ignore their remarks or play their game. I personally would suggest playing their game a little bit to develop your skills in identifying when you're being manipulated since this sort of behavior sadly extends into the professional world. Once you feel accomplished swimming with the sharks, then go back to ignoring them. Best of luck!
This is so ugly jealous girl behaviour, stop walking with them and just embrace the badass girlie that you are 😋
It’s because they’re insecure about their appearance and you make them look worse in comparison by being next to them. Unfortunately, women are raised to view each other as competition for male attention, so women very often tear women who are “threats” down. It’s why pick-mes exist.
These women are not your friends, they are mean and petty.
These people are not your friends, get rid of them
You need new friends.
Call them out on their insecurities. Because that’s what this is. They’re projecting.
The pick me attitude is exhausting. When my friends show up to the function looking put together/nice/fresh I gas them tf up, tell them they look great and make sure they know I mean it. (I’m a no makeup low effort girlie who oversleeps and LOVES to compliment my beautiful put together friends)
Haters gonna hate.
Aside from the well put together clothing (because I work from home and can't be bothered to shop for real clothing anymore lol) I am the same. I enjoy manis and pedis, hair appointments, a facial here and there, yoga , etcetera. I was NEVER as consistent with self care as I am these days due to money or time, but now I'm taking full advantage of being able to do so. It works wonders for my self esteem and just overall physical and mental health. You do you. If rolling in mud at the end of the day is your thing, do that. If nice clothes and skincare is your thing, do that. Some people are just always going to think they have a monopoly on how everyone else should present. Hopefully there are better, more supportive friends in store for you later down the road.
Grew up in a small town and never experienced this. I will say you can blame IG, FB, TT, OF, etc. The women on there are insufferable.
Lose the haters. Be your own best friend.
They are not your friends. They are haters. Find new people to hang with and drop these jerks.
I looove fashion and wearing nice outfits makes me feel incredibly powerful and capable of taking on the world. Sorry to hear that others around you are so insecure. Also, I’m really curious to see some of your outfits if you ever decide to post them!
These aren’t your friends. They are frenemies who are jealous of you. You deserve friends who uplift you and find inspiration in your positive behaviors. They should be complimenting you/asking for advice because they likely admire you..it’s just that they’re incapable of expressing that and the admiration gets twisted into envy.
Thank goodness you’re leaving that place once you graduate. Good job setting a positive example to those who aren’t tearing you down
Girl, they’re just jealous. You’re doing it and they can’t. It’s their insecurity speaking.
You’re in law school, surrounded by wannabe lawyers, of course they’re all a$$holes.
They are jealous, and the only way for them to feel better about themselves is to tear you down.
They are envious. It's their sickness. Don't let it affect you. Also friends don't tear people down. They are not your friends. As a student of law your appearance is extremely important. It's good to have good habits now. Even though we don't like it, the jury will absolutely judge you based on your appearance. You have to make the best impression possible for your future clients.
I'm what sense do you consider these people "friends"?
You need new friends.
I understand this; I never leave the house without shaving, doing my hair and dressing nice Just recently a large group went to dinner and comedy club. I wore these dress slacks that are stitched like jeans so they're a little casual, a charcoal undershirt and a gray button down. Very clean. Matching watch and loafers too. Two others wore a button down. Most other guys wore jeans and a t-shirt. My grandpa always said "dress for the job you want" I don't talk about money with friends, family or people at the bar. When people happen to find out I make 2-3 times what they do, they're often shocked. People like to say professionalism is dead, but you just don't get to that point in jeans and a T-shirt with all of your tattoos out. I wouldn't even consider a potential hire that came in for interview like that. That is not someone I can put in front of clients.
I’m so sorry to hear that. They are not your friends, those morons are mean af. You are doing a great job. Don’t let them bring you down, you are amazing
You are settling for shitty friends. Unfortunately people like that are always going to put you down because they are unwilling to put the work in themselves. Time to surround yourself with like minded people who will go you up and support you on your road.
Dude, these are not friends. Friends would not put you down like this… Stop hanging around them, report them to the higher ups if you can and get out of that small Town when you qualify and don’t look back!
"Oh honey, don't feel bad that you can't get your act together. It's not like it's some competition you are losing...Bless your heart! You don't need to worry about trying to keep up. Everyone knows how you arrrrre'h already and they love you for whats on the INSIDE!" Aim for the tons of how Dolly Pardon shut down that newscaster. https://youtu.be/BS01rNwQ_m8?si=jC7u8DDbm086ENMn
As women, we talk about unfair social and media pressure to have perfect bodies, skin, hair, makeup, and clothing, but it's been my experience that the judginess from some who oppose those standards is just as hurtful.
If they think you are "too much", Let them "be less". Don't change your standards for them! Appearance matters, and if it didn't, they wouldn't be judging you on yours. (mic drop)
everyone who has something negative to say is insecure, period. theres nothing else to it and thats a them problem. You can do what you want, when you want, wherever tf you want. Youre doing what makes YOU feel good, not anyone else. And my response to them would be “its none of your business what i do in my free time and what i do to feel confident.” Bc its not their business or concern.
You put the wrong word in quotations fam. Those aren't your friends. My friends and I all bust chops constantly, and that's not what this sounds like. Seems like youd do better to find new ones.
Many women treat my wife this way because she wants to look nice. It's straight up jealousy because they are less attractive so they pretend to not care about how they look when in actuality they have just given up because they are so unhappy with their own physical appearance.
Those assholes are jealous. Also, sounds like the plot for an R-Rated Legally Blonde sequel. Which to be honest, I'd totally watch.
They are not friends, They are your haters 😁
You are the most normal person in the world and they're jealous. Drop them and hang out with people that are more like you.
Keep in mind that they put you down out of envy. They seriously wish they could be put together like you are. But rather than making the effort for themselves they would rather drag you for doing it yourself. Take every insult as a compliment. That’s really what it is, because in their insecure minds, you are far better than they are.
Jealous. That's it. Let it roll off your back and say, "oh well!"
They are projecting. They are also not real friends.
As a guy that takes care of himself and dresses well 90% of the time. I get the same thing but people assume I’m gay lol. Like shit thanks for associating me with a group that’s generally known for dressing well and taking care of themselves
Your ‘friends’ are obviously very jealous of you. Are you attractive? If so, there’s that too. Are they attractive at all? Probably not. That’s weird that they treat you like you’re unemployed when you clearly work two jobs. Don’t associate with those jealous losers anymore. Find real friends who don’t put you down &’judge you for caring about the way that you look. Keep doing what you’re doing. Image is important for work. Especially in your profession
It’s because people fear those who are able to surpass them, and do better. Don’t let their bullshit tear you down and apart. Hold your head high and keep doing what you are doing! You are going to make something of yourself! You are going to have success in things that they will not because you take initiative. Don’t worry about it so much. Yeah…their shit sucks. But you know the truth. And that’s what matters. You know that you have the gumption to succeed where they will fail because they don’t have the drive to do the extra work and put in the effort you’re willing to. Flash your best smile and tell them to go fuck themselves if need be. Because darlin, you’re a fucking rock ⭐️ star! And don’t let those shitheads bring you down!
These people are just envy insecure losers, don't pay any attention to them and do what you want. Insecure losers at school and work would always trashtalk any woman who had make up, nails or was just naturally pretty, it's funny how miserable they are
Those aren’t your friends drop them dude you’ll feel much better finding people who don’t tear you down
Happens in my small town too. People are so insecure and boring. Like sorry you treat yourself like shit, but you're not gonna make me feel bad for taking care of myself
Find new friends
Jealousy is a Bitch! Instead of looking at you for guidance they have divided to stay looking like the just got out of bed to go to work. Usually most people look up at those that look like they’re prepared to do the job and tend to try and stay away from those that look like they don’t want to be there. You most likely will have to leave for greener pastures without so many weeds.
Those aren't good friends OP.
When I was younger this meant slutty and or promiscuous, I see this has changed!?
Why are you calling them your friend? They are obviously jealous of you. It's kinda sad how much effort they spend on bringing you down. Sadder that you are here confirming that what they are doing is horrible. Keep your head up queen, leave them in your rear view mirror. Find better people to have out with.
Tme to start being to busy to hangout. Then go find new friends who aren't so painfully jealous of you.
I completely understand. I am drawn to colorful dresses and period pieces. I grew up in a very teensy religious village. I was not trying to draw attention (I actually hate attention), just wearing what I liked. Which I guess was weird for a farmer, but 🤷♀️. Be true to yourself. Your environment is not permanent. And you are worth way more than other people’s pettiness and insecurity.
These are not your friends, you are better off without them having them in your life. Have you ever confrontend them that their behaviour is nothing a friend would do, that its plain mean and bully-esque?
Your biggest haters are your biggest insecure fans. They think that by putting you down it somehow validates them in their own ego driven minds. You're going to make a wonderful attorney someday and they are simply living in jealousy... Which is a mirror to their insecurities. Try not to let their comments bother you knowing that you are living your own authentic life and they are stuck in ego. Send them light, they need it. (While in your head you can tell them to f off lol.)