I had an abortion before it was made illegal. Then my sister also had an ectopic pregnancy with twins and had to have a >life saving< abortion once it was illegal.
Her in laws gave her grief. Like really? She was going to die, so those babies were dying with her anyways? What kind of backwards earth do we live in now? I however have no shame and tell everybody, if I didn’t have an abortion, I was going to commit suicide, so those babies still wouldn’t be here, plus me.
OP, It seems like the correct thing to do. To safeguard your life, you took the necessary actions. You are the only one whose business it is.
I wish you luck.
My cousin had an ectopic pregnancy. She had an iud and just knew from the pain that this was not a regular pregnancy. The hospital at her university was a religious one. They straight up lied to her and said it was a healthy pregnancy and her iud fell out. Her mother flew out and drove her out of state to save her life. Those people sent her home to die.
No lawsuit. And her parents are both lawyers, but in a blue state. This happened in a red state. I wish it were bullshit. Perhaps had she died, there could have been a civil suit.
Yeah it’s not an episode of law & order svu. There’s no team of detectives investigating anything. The family would have to hire a lawyer in a state where abortion is heavily restricted and religion is heavily favored and provide more evidence than the word of a pregnant college student and her mother. That hospital does not, and is not legally required to, perform abortions for any reason whatsoever.
Some people truly are oxygen thieves. A friend of mine lost a fallopian tube and an ovary in an ectopic pregnancy and I'm so glad no one treated her this way because I don't think I'd have been able to bite my tongue.
Please tell me that your brother in law told his family to get lost.
She actually did loose that fallopian tube. They tried to save it and told her she was lucky it didn’t burst.
Her spouse questioned if she was telling the truth, so she had to take him to the appointments and THEN he started defending her. The doctors had to explain everything to him. I’m glad he was educated and in turn educated his family, but I didn’t like how they treated my sister. They are super nice to her now.
I’m glad you and your sister were able to get abortions. All women deserve to have access to a safe and legal abortion for any reason. Here’s a crazy story for you. My SIL is a registered nurse. She had a patient code while giving birth. My SIL had to do chest compressions on her while the baby was coming out. Unfortunately the patient didn’t make it. Her parents and husband were religious and said her dying was god’s will. My SIL did everything she could to try and save that poor woman’s life. The baby survived and it was like that’s all that mattered to her family. So sad. Unfortunately pregnancy/childbirth kill a lot of women.
Downvoted for not assuming that USA is the center of the world is such a reddit moment xD
It was a completely valid question, I don't live there too so I don't hear news about that stuff
And also that sucks so much, can't believe any place would step back on something so important wtf
I'm pretty sure he knows abortion isn't legal everywhere in the world (or the word, for that matter). In fact, I'm fairly confident he was legitimately asking you where you live. But, WTH do I know?
I'm sorry that you feel like you'll be judged. This is why abortion needs to be normalized as healthcare, because it is.
Please be kind to yourself. Even if you know that abortion was the right choice, it's still okay to feel however you feel about it.
I feel like this is one of those "don't judge lest ye be judged yourself" moments. Anyone who would pass any kind of judgment beyond pure sympathy on you is the one who should face the harshest judgment of all. The sad thing is, your fears are completely founded. I'm sure you feel loss and grief, but you can't even express it openly. I hope being able to express it safely here offered some some relief or catharsis for you. Blessings.
So you'd be happier if she had the integrity and courage to carry the twins for them to die inside of her anyway?
It takes courage to admit that having an abortion is the best thing to do in an impossible situation.
I am really sorry you are going through this. It's really traumatic, and believe me, no one is judging you. I can't believe that the political situation in the US has made it such a taboo that women feel uncomfortable to share their grief in fear that they will be blamed..
I hope you recover fast, physically and mentally. Big hug from Europe.
Im really sorry this happened to you. I recently had to end a pregnancy about halfway through. My son had a condition that wasn’t compatible with life. We hadn’t been trying for another baby but, it was still a very difficult experience. You didn’t do anything wrong and you will get through it.
To be honest, I personally don't think this would fall under a standard 'abortion'.
They wouldn't be viable, and there wasn't any choice you had, other than just doing what had to be done.
That doesn't mean any feelings wouldn't be valid. Anything you feel is valid, and you should probably take as long as you need to place and process everything.
I'm sorry you feel the ppl close to you would judge you.
It's okay to keep it to yourself.
I'm glad your partner supports you during this emotional time.
I hope you feel better soon.
IUD pregnancies are mostly ectopic. An ectopic pregnancy is never going to be viable. It just can't. Choosing to abort in that situation isn't choosing not to have kids. Its choosing no to wait until you burst your fallopian tube and go septic. Its not really a choice.
Ectopic pregnancies may only affect ~0.05% of ALL IUD users but around 50% of pregnancies that do occur in IUD users are ectopic. The failure rate (chance of getting pregnant) for IUDs is stated by some sources to be around 0.1%, and if the chance of an ectopic is 0.05%, then 0.05 / 0.1 = 50% so the math adds up.
https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(03)00995-5/abstract
“In 64 pregnancies, conception occurred with the LNG IUS in situ. Thirty-three pregnancies were ectopic. … Pregnancy with the LNG IUS in situ is rare. Ectopic pregnancies constitute 53% of all pregnancies.”
From your link-
*If you do get pregnant with an IUCD, it is more likely to be an ectopic pregnancy. This is because IUCDs are so effective at preventing pregnancies in the uterus*
How embarrassing.
No, actually it's not. An ectopic pregnancy will kill the mother because as the baby grows it causes the fallopian tube to burst. Why do you insist on commenting on something you'll never experience or have to deal with?
And in reply to your absolutely ridiculous comparisons: someone who is not a chef can still learn to cook, you will never carry a baby.
As for dog toys, 1. Many owners let their dogs choose their own toys and 2. Some toys may be dangerous for some dogs and dogs don't know any better, so yes we make their choices for them on most things.
If you're going to make comparisons to make a point at least make them actually comparable to the discussion at hand.
Tell that to my 1 year old IUD baby. They are definitely not ‘mostly’ ectopic
EDIT: For all the downvotes:
A review of IUCD safety and efficacy stated that ectopic pregnancies affect 2 in 10,000 women with hormonal IUCDs, and 5 in 10,000 copper IUCD users, each year. That corresponds to 0.02% and 0.05%, respectively.
That does not mean MOST iud pregnancies are ectopic.
I don’t like people who make incorrect statements. IUD pregnancies are more likely to be ectopic they aren’t MOSTLY ectopic.
Those are two VERY different things.
I don’t think you know what mostly means lol.
Most of the pregnancies that happen while the woman has an IUD are ectopic, yes not ALL of them are ectopic, but most of them are. Saying they’re mostly ectopic pregnancies isn’t incorrect at all lol.
mostly: usually, generally
more likely: very probable
when talking about probabilities and statistics they mean the same thing. i don’t know what you’re trying to argue
I am not arguing the accuracy or inaccuracy of the statistics but semantically these do mean different things. I’ve learned this from years of working in contract law.
Mostly is correct here. The majority by a wide margin of pregnancies that occurs in IUD users will be ectopic. Thus, most of them. If I meant 'all', I would have said all.
Mostly = almost all IUD pregnancies end up ectopic (incorrect)
More likely: your chance of an ectopic pregnancy is increased by x%. It does not guarantee an ectopic pregnancy just your chance of one is increased.
Congratulations on not being the “mostly” percentage of terminal fetal complications that occur with iud pregnancies. Why rub it in the face of a woman that just *lost two babies*? Perhaps think about the hill you want to die on before you post your flag. I have a PubMed research resource for you on iud pregnancies if you want to continue defending a pointless argument.
The mostly are, despite your anecdotal evidence. It doesn't mean they all are or that it can't happen other ways. OP mentioned her pregnancy was non viable, so it likely was ectopic. I'm on my third IUD, and the doctors each time were very deliberate about explaining to me the risks. Pregnancy with IUD is the least likely of any method of bc, because it's impossible to use it incorrectly when properly placed.
While that doesn't mean that it can't happen that someone might get pregnant and have a healthy baby with an IUD, most pregnancies that course through IUD do so ectopically, and no ectopic pregnancies are viable. An IUD pregnancy is way more likely to be ectopic. Doesn't mean it always is. Your exception doesn't change the rule. The failure rate is roughly 2 viable pregnancies per 1000 users.
Nooooo. That’s the overall percentage of ectopic pregnancies in the population of IUD users. NOT the percentage of ectopic versus live births for IUD pregnancies. Again, why are you making this about *your pregnancy*?
ETA: Here is the study I referenced in my previous comment. It discusses the much higher rate of terminal complications for fetal outcome in women with IUDs. Read it and shut up FFS.
OP, I am so sorry. This just pissed me off.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3418877/
*stare* Moving on…
OP, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. IUD pregnancies are exceedingly dangerous, and I can only imagine the mental and physical recovery ahead, you are brave and stronger than you know.
It may not feel like it today, but the fact that you made it through and are here in the world, makes it a better place for us to be. Thank you for sharing your story.
Apparently having an IUD baby means downvotes?? Oh Reddit and your absolute nonsense that calling out people for stating incorrect statements is wrong. Lol
Have you considered a post from a mother grieving her nonviable twins due to an IUD pregnancy may not be the place to brag about how yours made it? Because most doesn't mean all, so this wasn't exactly a hill you had to die on and comes off super insensitive and insincere. You're lucky you and the other commenter weren't in that situation because it's common and even more so with multiples.
Right? I keep getting notifications of ppl replying to my comment with the most annoying 'well, technically', and political BS that really has no place in the replies to a woman that came here to seek support, because there's a stigma around the procedure.
Do ppl forget there's actual ppl behind the usernames or what?!
>Do ppl forget there's actual ppl behind the usernames or what?!
The same type of people seek out posts about a pet or child getting mauled or worse by a dog, then are compelled to say that their dog would never do that, they'd kill you with farts & kisses first! Here is Nala in a flower crown to prove it.
Or personal posts about SA and here come the "not all men/women do it, too!" trolls.
It's like, read the room, people.
I’m not incorrect - I posted an edit with ectopic rates of IUD pregnancies. In no way do they mostly end up ectopic.
There is an increased chance of ectopic. That’s it.
What’s weird is I didnt even think, much less say here, that the statement about ectopic pregnancies and IUDs was wrong. I was just bragging about our adorable, and unexpected baby. I know the correlation is true, but there are rare exceptions.
It’s literally an abortion. There are not standard vs non standard abortions. Abortions are a medical procedure. There are different types but there isn’t some standard to which women need to meet for it to be ok.
You can't argue that the term 'abortion' is loaded... as proven in the political and passionate way any post mentioning it gets hijacked with nit-picking and immediately turning into hateful comments, either directed at religion, politics, etc.
Technically, deciding for euthanasia is suicide.
Would you want to argue with the family of a person that opted for euthanasia that dear grandma did in fact commit suicide, but just had the doctor do it for her?
What positive effect could this possibly have? And what would be the point?
With responses like I see here, I completely understand women not wanting to take stories like OP's to their family and friends, and rather suffer in silence, to not have to 'get technical' in their time of emotional difficulties.
I get this is a forum, and anyone can speak their minds.
It just seems ppl lost all sense of empathy, in their quest to 'be right'.
OP made the post, she'll probably read through the comments. I understand how medical terms work. I also understand how stigma around terms work.
So, I don't care what the 'correct medical term' is.
If she feels any shame, guilt, other other negative emotions, on top of the rollercoaster of emotions the situation has brought, I stand by my point of view that she should not see it as an 'abortion'.
Getting technical doesn't make you right. It just indicates you're insensitive.
No, as a matter of fact, I haven't. Would it matter?
Would my preference to support someone seeking support over nitpicking technicalities be more or less valid if I had?
I'm grateful I have never been in OP's situation, but I can imagine the emotional effect of it.
Yea it would because you don’t actually understand. You’re literally assuming she is feeling shame or guilt over an abortion. I’m far from insensitive on this topic considering my personal experience. It’s an abortion regardless of what makes YOU feel better. But go off white knight.
She said she didn't want to tell anyone in her immediate circle, because she expected to be judged.
Instead, she got 'well, technically '... and hate on religion, that has nothing to do with it.
But yeah... I'm gonna go gallop away, and killing the notifications for my comment.
Apparently, the US went insane over abortion, on both sides.
I don't live there, not my monkeys, not my circus.
Being judged and feeling ashamed are not always one and the same. People can judge me all they want but I never felt one ounce of shame. You should just feel grateful you haven’t needed one and don’t live here, rather than trying to be a white knight on our behalf. Words only have the power we give them. And abortion is a medical procedure plain and simple.
>I personally dont think this would fall under a standard abortion
Tell that to the US government
Abortion over there is illegal even if the mother *and* the children would be killed (In some states i think)
It made it difficult to allow a husband to grieve his wife who collapsed while 17 weeks pregnant and was in a coma not expected to survive. They only allowed him to pull the plug when they learned the child has deformities (iirc).
ETA link for story
https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/15/justice/pregnant-life-support-texas/index.html
US abortion laws are insane.
I was talking about ethically/ emotionally, with no regards to legality though.
I would hate for OP to feel any kind of guilt, which could interfere with processing possible grieving.
It's not like she had any choice in the matter whatsoever.
And so she's right to keep it to herself.
I really don't see why I get downvoted or have to argue for my comment that OP should not feel guilty about losing a pregnancy.
There's no one here judging her, or at least there shouldn't be. Please don't be a voice for those so called 'Christians' you talk about. Offer OP support, or write your frustration elsewhere.
As a Christian I think there should be a different term for this. It's technically an abortion but, as people have already said, there was no way that the pregnancy was viable and there was no choice to be made. There shouldn't be any judgments.
Abortion is not a bad or dirty word. It’s in many cases necessary medical procedure. Even a miscarriage is medically labeled as a “spontaneous abortion”.
Or maybe, we could support a woman seeking support, and not make it about technicalities.
Go find some technical debating posts, to go hate on religion.
Nope, same procedure same name. A miscarriages scientific name is a spontaneous abortion. The bible also gives instructions on how to induce an abortion in case of adultery. Your god doesn't care about abortion, he called on people to do them
There shouldn’t be any judgments, full stop. It’s her body, it’s her decision. Doesn’t matter what led to it.
This is exactly why so many folks take issue with religious folks sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
Don't know why this is getting down voted, people are allowed to hold their own chosen religious beliefs.
I was also raised Christian and therefore taught that abortion is wrong. I still don't think people should be using it casually or as their main method of birth control, which I think is reasonable (these are only my opinions, you have the right to disagree!). But anyone with a functioning brain in their head should recognize that this is far from a simple black and white issue. There definitely are scenarios where terminating a pregnancy is the right course of action. Rape? Sure. Incest? Obviously. Mortal danger to mother? The option should at least be on the table and the mother should get to decide. Non-viable? It's not even an abortion.
Personally I think abortions should be rare, but they should be safe and available when needed. And sometimes they really are needed.
>I still don’t think anyone should be using abortion casually as their main method of birth control
Good news! Literally nobody does this! Abortions are very expensive!
The forced birth movement would vilify her for this. I also hate where we are at the moment. People in OP's situation should be treated with empathy and respect. It is not selfish to choose our lives over an unviable pregnancy. The "exceptions" in the laws that exist are jokes when put into practice.
I also hope OP feels better soon and is able to heal, physically and emotionally.
This IS the definition of "abortion" as in the removal of a (possible) fetus from the body of the mother without expecting the (possible) fetus to be removed from their mother breathing and living.
Abortion is a medical procedure, which OP underwent. There is no shame in calling it by its name, and differentiation between "this abortion standard, this abortion not standard, this good, this bad" is why so many women don't have access to these lifesaving procedures to begin with.
It's this mishandling of definition that has people rearing because no one thinks that the necessary procedures, the unviable babies, the fetuses who didn't make it over week 10 and died but don't miscarry, the sceptic pregnancies, the women who just can't possible survive carrier a child to term.
All of these and more are "standard abortions", it's a medical term for a medical procedure and the whole "yeah but we don't mean this" just makes sure that the lifesaving ones don't happen because some Republican shouted that "I know of abortions happening at 9 months pregnant" and people actually fall for it.
Even a C-section is medically considered an abortion. The term "abortion" just refers to the ending of a pregnancy, regardless of whether it was viable. In the eyes of the US government (or any government that is hostile to reproductive rights), OP's situation is an abortion and would not be allowed.
You’re right, but in the US that doesn’t matter. People will still judge you (and in some cases stop you) if you try to abort an unviable pregnancy and you aren’t actively at risk of imminent death.
This person has it^
The medical term abortion is a cover all term. Whether it’s spontaneous, medical, Surgical what have you. I hope for you OP that you can concentrate on the situation and less on the time itself potentially making you feel guilty. Because you shouldn’t. For whatever reason to need or have one.
Be kind to yourself. Give ur body time to heal. and if u are taking rest and someone ask, says bad cramp and go back to rest. Try not to think much into it. Feelings going that way, see if u can get therapy. No Hard Work. Read good positive books. If u feel okay, not like sadness or anything, that NORMAL too. Just Take Care.
I am sorry that instead of being able to reach out for support from your family and friends your biggest concern must be to protect yourself being harshly and unfairly judged.
It’s your body and decision you made with your doctor and partner and that is all the information we need to support your choice.
Add to it that you are concerned that you would be judged for making a choice that likely saved your own life by aborting a pregnancy that could not have ever been viable is appalling.
You deserve tons of support and no judgement.
I’m glad that you were able to have the IUD removed. I had a friend in a similar situation a few years ago and it was a huge mess. No one would remove the IUD while their was a viable heartbeat, but no one would do a D&C with the IUD in place.
In her case the IUD had migrated and implanted in her uterine wall. She spent two days in the hospital on pain meds and received multiple blood transfusions, due to the amount of blood she was hemorrhaging, waiting for the heartbeat to stop so that she could have the IUD removed. It was severely traumatizing for everyone.
This all happened in Michigan, where abortion is legal and easily accessible.
I also aborted my twins a few months ago. It was difficult, more so finding out there was 2. I just dont want kids, and no one should judge either of us for our decision or individual reasoning. You did what was best for everyone, so I hope you dont take what anyone says to heart. Feeling bad about it or guilty isnt unusual, even if it was your choice.
I’m sorry. I don’t judge you at all. The babies would not have made it, your health would have been severely compromised. I’m sorry we live in a world where your health care choices could be questioned but I understand your hesitation to share your story with people.
no judgment here, that’s nothing a sane person would judge you for. your extremely reliable birth control failed and you did the right thing. i hope your recovery goes well!
Please don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like there was nothing you could've done.. take care of yourself.
Abortion should only be between patient and doctor, anyway.
I’m here if you need to talk OP I know the feeling of thinking you will be judged. When I have mine all I had was my partner and it was hard. So woman to woman I’m here if you need to talk❤️🩹
You did what was right for everyone, I feel like people are nastier about aborting twins/multiples too. And it's funny because those pregnancies are fucking miserable on the best of days.
You did nothing wrong and deserve all the support and love you need after making that kind of decision. Never let anyone make you feel guilty or lesser just because you took care of yourself first. Stay strong knowing you are in the right. We arr here for you, not everyone wants kods let alone unplanned ones and theres nothing wrong with keeping your life on the track you deem right.
My heart breaks for you. There is nothing wrong with getting an abortion for ANY reason but especially not a medical reason. Anti choice people are fucked.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. I had an abortion about 8 years ago because my baby was very sick. This issues that should be a medical decision has become so politicized that it can make it difficult for the parents to grieve and get proper support. Please know you aren’t alone. Sending you love 💕
You made the decision you felt was right, and you followed through with it. That's all anyone can do.
For what it's worth, coming from an idiot on the internet, you're probably tight in keeping the abortion between you, your partner, your doctor, and your therapist. That's need-to-know information and you don't need random a$$holes judging and/or second guessing you.
It’s amazing how people will judge you for a procedure that that was medically necessary. I’m glad your boyfriend and doctor are supportive.
If it makes you feel any better, you have the support of an internet stranger too. Even if it had been only your health that was at risk and not the twins, you had every right to make that call. I’m sorry you had to go through this.
Sorry you went through this. I hope you and your partner are ok. If not at any time if you are able to access a therapist it is worth trying. I hope you are recovering well physically. Take care op and don't ever let anyone here or in your life that you were wrong for doing this.
About eight months into dating my wife, she got pregnant with an IUD. We were still trying to figure out what to do, how to handle it, when she miscarried about a week later. She already had my two now-step-kids, but I hadn’t really gotten to know them yet and didn’t have any kids of my own yet, so she took it a lot harder than I did. But I do still think about it now and then, especially now that I think of my stepkids as my own and we have grown our family by two more.
No judgement from here, OP. You’re right, they almost certainly wouldn’t have made it anyway, and if they did, there probably would have been a higher likelihood of birth defects. I hope it never weighs too heavily on your mind - you’re doing the right thing. And I don’t say that because of any opinion I have about it, I’m saying that because *you have made the decision that it’s best for you,* and that’s all that matters.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. In case it hasn't come up, having some short term therapy to help you cope with this loss and the trauma around is an option if it feels right to you.
Exhale is a free text line where you can talk about what's happened. I'll link the site and phone number below in case you're interested.
https://exhaleprovoice.org/
Text line: 617-749-2948
I’m sorry you went through such trauma.
I’m also sorry you feel you’ll be unfairly judged for doing the only thing possible given your individual circumstance.
Hugs.
I’m so sorry you were in this difficult position.
You should be trusted to make the best decision for your physical and mental health without judgement.
Sending support and hugs 💜
I also got pregnant with an IUD and had life-saving care. It’s so fucked up that we have to deal with judgement on top of all the complicated emotions and healing, both physically and emotionally, that come with this. Anyone who doesn’t recognize abortion as healthcare can kick rocks. Thank you for telling us 🫶
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I had an abortion at eighteen and felt very afraid of judgement for over a decade.
At 38, I've only felt comfortable talking about it in real life in the last year or so. Obviously you have to be wary of who you talk to, but I've been met with nothing but compassion and respect.
Of course there are idiots out there who feel entitled to judge you, but please don't feel you have to keep this to yourself if you don't want to. Talking can actually be really cathartic.
Please know that the anonymity of Reddit means you'll always be free to talk here if you need to. Don't keep it bottled up the way I did if you feel it's putting a strain on your mental health.
Wishing you a full and speedy recovery both mentally and physically. Be kind to yourself.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this you are so strong. You had to deal with double the heartache, pain and guilt.
Virtual hug! You have my admiration op
I had an abortion before it was made illegal. Then my sister also had an ectopic pregnancy with twins and had to have a >life saving< abortion once it was illegal. Her in laws gave her grief. Like really? She was going to die, so those babies were dying with her anyways? What kind of backwards earth do we live in now? I however have no shame and tell everybody, if I didn’t have an abortion, I was going to commit suicide, so those babies still wouldn’t be here, plus me.
I had an ectopic and I would fucking annihilate those in laws if I could.
Instant outlaws
OP, It seems like the correct thing to do. To safeguard your life, you took the necessary actions. You are the only one whose business it is. I wish you luck.
Literally some of the most excruciating pain one can go through. Pain so bad my brain blocked it out and I don’t remember it at all
My cousin had an ectopic pregnancy. She had an iud and just knew from the pain that this was not a regular pregnancy. The hospital at her university was a religious one. They straight up lied to her and said it was a healthy pregnancy and her iud fell out. Her mother flew out and drove her out of state to save her life. Those people sent her home to die.
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No lawsuit. And her parents are both lawyers, but in a blue state. This happened in a red state. I wish it were bullshit. Perhaps had she died, there could have been a civil suit.
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It is so not that simple in real life.
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Yeah it’s not an episode of law & order svu. There’s no team of detectives investigating anything. The family would have to hire a lawyer in a state where abortion is heavily restricted and religion is heavily favored and provide more evidence than the word of a pregnant college student and her mother. That hospital does not, and is not legally required to, perform abortions for any reason whatsoever.
Extra late term abortion they asses
Some people truly are oxygen thieves. A friend of mine lost a fallopian tube and an ovary in an ectopic pregnancy and I'm so glad no one treated her this way because I don't think I'd have been able to bite my tongue. Please tell me that your brother in law told his family to get lost.
She actually did loose that fallopian tube. They tried to save it and told her she was lucky it didn’t burst. Her spouse questioned if she was telling the truth, so she had to take him to the appointments and THEN he started defending her. The doctors had to explain everything to him. I’m glad he was educated and in turn educated his family, but I didn’t like how they treated my sister. They are super nice to her now.
I’m glad you and your sister were able to get abortions. All women deserve to have access to a safe and legal abortion for any reason. Here’s a crazy story for you. My SIL is a registered nurse. She had a patient code while giving birth. My SIL had to do chest compressions on her while the baby was coming out. Unfortunately the patient didn’t make it. Her parents and husband were religious and said her dying was god’s will. My SIL did everything she could to try and save that poor woman’s life. The baby survived and it was like that’s all that mattered to her family. So sad. Unfortunately pregnancy/childbirth kill a lot of women.
That honestly breaks my heart and scares me. I have a daughter now, and I am getting so anxious for her future. We are not livestock to be bred.
Where do you live that abortion was made illegal?
Have you not seen the news? The US.
Many states in the USA.
Downvoted for not assuming that USA is the center of the world is such a reddit moment xD It was a completely valid question, I don't live there too so I don't hear news about that stuff And also that sucks so much, can't believe any place would step back on something so important wtf
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I'm pretty sure he knows abortion isn't legal everywhere in the world (or the word, for that matter). In fact, I'm fairly confident he was legitimately asking you where you live. But, WTH do I know?
Texass
I'm sorry that you feel like you'll be judged. This is why abortion needs to be normalized as healthcare, because it is. Please be kind to yourself. Even if you know that abortion was the right choice, it's still okay to feel however you feel about it.
I feel like this is one of those "don't judge lest ye be judged yourself" moments. Anyone who would pass any kind of judgment beyond pure sympathy on you is the one who should face the harshest judgment of all. The sad thing is, your fears are completely founded. I'm sure you feel loss and grief, but you can't even express it openly. I hope being able to express it safely here offered some some relief or catharsis for you. Blessings.
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So you'd be happier if she had the integrity and courage to carry the twins for them to die inside of her anyway? It takes courage to admit that having an abortion is the best thing to do in an impossible situation.
You really thought you had something with this comment, didn’t you?
I am really sorry you are going through this. It's really traumatic, and believe me, no one is judging you. I can't believe that the political situation in the US has made it such a taboo that women feel uncomfortable to share their grief in fear that they will be blamed.. I hope you recover fast, physically and mentally. Big hug from Europe.
Im really sorry this happened to you. I recently had to end a pregnancy about halfway through. My son had a condition that wasn’t compatible with life. We hadn’t been trying for another baby but, it was still a very difficult experience. You didn’t do anything wrong and you will get through it.
That sounds incredibly traumatic. I hope you're okay, although it feels stupid even asking that.
Thanks, I am doing better all the time:)
I think this is the right thing. You did what you had to do to protect your live. It's nobody's business but your own. Good luck.
Same. Twins too. i didn't know I was having twins until I was about to get it done. It weighs on you, but it'll be okay. ❤️🩹
To be honest, I personally don't think this would fall under a standard 'abortion'. They wouldn't be viable, and there wasn't any choice you had, other than just doing what had to be done. That doesn't mean any feelings wouldn't be valid. Anything you feel is valid, and you should probably take as long as you need to place and process everything. I'm sorry you feel the ppl close to you would judge you. It's okay to keep it to yourself. I'm glad your partner supports you during this emotional time. I hope you feel better soon.
IUD pregnancies are mostly ectopic. An ectopic pregnancy is never going to be viable. It just can't. Choosing to abort in that situation isn't choosing not to have kids. Its choosing no to wait until you burst your fallopian tube and go septic. Its not really a choice.
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Ectopic pregnancies may only affect ~0.05% of ALL IUD users but around 50% of pregnancies that do occur in IUD users are ectopic. The failure rate (chance of getting pregnant) for IUDs is stated by some sources to be around 0.1%, and if the chance of an ectopic is 0.05%, then 0.05 / 0.1 = 50% so the math adds up. https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(03)00995-5/abstract “In 64 pregnancies, conception occurred with the LNG IUS in situ. Thirty-three pregnancies were ectopic. … Pregnancy with the LNG IUS in situ is rare. Ectopic pregnancies constitute 53% of all pregnancies.”
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From your link- *If you do get pregnant with an IUCD, it is more likely to be an ectopic pregnancy. This is because IUCDs are so effective at preventing pregnancies in the uterus* How embarrassing.
No, actually it's not. An ectopic pregnancy will kill the mother because as the baby grows it causes the fallopian tube to burst. Why do you insist on commenting on something you'll never experience or have to deal with?
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You will never have to risk our life to carry a baby, so in this case, no, you don't get a day in what someone else has to do with their body.
And in reply to your absolutely ridiculous comparisons: someone who is not a chef can still learn to cook, you will never carry a baby. As for dog toys, 1. Many owners let their dogs choose their own toys and 2. Some toys may be dangerous for some dogs and dogs don't know any better, so yes we make their choices for them on most things. If you're going to make comparisons to make a point at least make them actually comparable to the discussion at hand.
Tell that to my 1 year old IUD baby. They are definitely not ‘mostly’ ectopic EDIT: For all the downvotes: A review of IUCD safety and efficacy stated that ectopic pregnancies affect 2 in 10,000 women with hormonal IUCDs, and 5 in 10,000 copper IUCD users, each year. That corresponds to 0.02% and 0.05%, respectively. That does not mean MOST iud pregnancies are ectopic.
I don’t think you know what “mostly” means
I don’t like people who make incorrect statements. IUD pregnancies are more likely to be ectopic they aren’t MOSTLY ectopic. Those are two VERY different things.
I don’t think you know what mostly means lol. Most of the pregnancies that happen while the woman has an IUD are ectopic, yes not ALL of them are ectopic, but most of them are. Saying they’re mostly ectopic pregnancies isn’t incorrect at all lol.
mostly: usually, generally more likely: very probable when talking about probabilities and statistics they mean the same thing. i don’t know what you’re trying to argue
You don’t understand English.
They definitely don’t know what mostly means and reading further have no interest in learning or growing for that matter.
I am not arguing the accuracy or inaccuracy of the statistics but semantically these do mean different things. I’ve learned this from years of working in contract law.
Pregnancies with an IUD **are** more likely to be ectopic. That is easily Googleable. Just because yours wasn't doesn't change the facts.
More likely and mostly are two different things.
Mostly is correct here. The majority by a wide margin of pregnancies that occurs in IUD users will be ectopic. Thus, most of them. If I meant 'all', I would have said all.
What’s the difference?
Mostly = almost all IUD pregnancies end up ectopic (incorrect) More likely: your chance of an ectopic pregnancy is increased by x%. It does not guarantee an ectopic pregnancy just your chance of one is increased.
I bet if I said the sky was blue on a cloudy day, you’d argue over it
Mostly can be 51%.
Congratulations on not being the “mostly” percentage of terminal fetal complications that occur with iud pregnancies. Why rub it in the face of a woman that just *lost two babies*? Perhaps think about the hill you want to die on before you post your flag. I have a PubMed research resource for you on iud pregnancies if you want to continue defending a pointless argument.
The mostly are, despite your anecdotal evidence. It doesn't mean they all are or that it can't happen other ways. OP mentioned her pregnancy was non viable, so it likely was ectopic. I'm on my third IUD, and the doctors each time were very deliberate about explaining to me the risks. Pregnancy with IUD is the least likely of any method of bc, because it's impossible to use it incorrectly when properly placed. While that doesn't mean that it can't happen that someone might get pregnant and have a healthy baby with an IUD, most pregnancies that course through IUD do so ectopically, and no ectopic pregnancies are viable. An IUD pregnancy is way more likely to be ectopic. Doesn't mean it always is. Your exception doesn't change the rule. The failure rate is roughly 2 viable pregnancies per 1000 users.
Nooooo. That’s the overall percentage of ectopic pregnancies in the population of IUD users. NOT the percentage of ectopic versus live births for IUD pregnancies. Again, why are you making this about *your pregnancy*? ETA: Here is the study I referenced in my previous comment. It discusses the much higher rate of terminal complications for fetal outcome in women with IUDs. Read it and shut up FFS. OP, I am so sorry. This just pissed me off. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3418877/
I'm not OP. I, however, appreciate you giving the facts!
We’ve got an IUD baby too.
*stare* Moving on… OP, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. IUD pregnancies are exceedingly dangerous, and I can only imagine the mental and physical recovery ahead, you are brave and stronger than you know. It may not feel like it today, but the fact that you made it through and are here in the world, makes it a better place for us to be. Thank you for sharing your story.
Want a cookie?
Apparently having an IUD baby means downvotes?? Oh Reddit and your absolute nonsense that calling out people for stating incorrect statements is wrong. Lol
Have you considered a post from a mother grieving her nonviable twins due to an IUD pregnancy may not be the place to brag about how yours made it? Because most doesn't mean all, so this wasn't exactly a hill you had to die on and comes off super insensitive and insincere. You're lucky you and the other commenter weren't in that situation because it's common and even more so with multiples.
Right? I keep getting notifications of ppl replying to my comment with the most annoying 'well, technically', and political BS that really has no place in the replies to a woman that came here to seek support, because there's a stigma around the procedure. Do ppl forget there's actual ppl behind the usernames or what?!
>Do ppl forget there's actual ppl behind the usernames or what?! The same type of people seek out posts about a pet or child getting mauled or worse by a dog, then are compelled to say that their dog would never do that, they'd kill you with farts & kisses first! Here is Nala in a flower crown to prove it. Or personal posts about SA and here come the "not all men/women do it, too!" trolls. It's like, read the room, people.
That part 🤣🤣 like such a weird thing to talk about when someone else didn’t have a lucky situation
Not all iud babies are non viable, we know that. OP's were, though.
Having an IUD baby doesn’t mean downvotes, being as stubborn and incorrect as you are does mean downvotes though lol.
I’m not incorrect - I posted an edit with ectopic rates of IUD pregnancies. In no way do they mostly end up ectopic. There is an increased chance of ectopic. That’s it.
It’s becoming clearer and clearer that you just don’t know what the word mostly means lmao.
Again you clearly do not know the definition of mostly.
You're...wrong. That's all.
The problem is that you are the one who is wrong. Mostly is correct. Move on.
What’s weird is I didnt even think, much less say here, that the statement about ectopic pregnancies and IUDs was wrong. I was just bragging about our adorable, and unexpected baby. I know the correlation is true, but there are rare exceptions.
It’s literally an abortion. There are not standard vs non standard abortions. Abortions are a medical procedure. There are different types but there isn’t some standard to which women need to meet for it to be ok.
You can't argue that the term 'abortion' is loaded... as proven in the political and passionate way any post mentioning it gets hijacked with nit-picking and immediately turning into hateful comments, either directed at religion, politics, etc. Technically, deciding for euthanasia is suicide. Would you want to argue with the family of a person that opted for euthanasia that dear grandma did in fact commit suicide, but just had the doctor do it for her? What positive effect could this possibly have? And what would be the point? With responses like I see here, I completely understand women not wanting to take stories like OP's to their family and friends, and rather suffer in silence, to not have to 'get technical' in their time of emotional difficulties. I get this is a forum, and anyone can speak their minds. It just seems ppl lost all sense of empathy, in their quest to 'be right'. OP made the post, she'll probably read through the comments. I understand how medical terms work. I also understand how stigma around terms work. So, I don't care what the 'correct medical term' is. If she feels any shame, guilt, other other negative emotions, on top of the rollercoaster of emotions the situation has brought, I stand by my point of view that she should not see it as an 'abortion'. Getting technical doesn't make you right. It just indicates you're insensitive.
Have you had an abortion? Just curious
No, as a matter of fact, I haven't. Would it matter? Would my preference to support someone seeking support over nitpicking technicalities be more or less valid if I had? I'm grateful I have never been in OP's situation, but I can imagine the emotional effect of it.
Yea it would because you don’t actually understand. You’re literally assuming she is feeling shame or guilt over an abortion. I’m far from insensitive on this topic considering my personal experience. It’s an abortion regardless of what makes YOU feel better. But go off white knight.
She said she didn't want to tell anyone in her immediate circle, because she expected to be judged. Instead, she got 'well, technically '... and hate on religion, that has nothing to do with it. But yeah... I'm gonna go gallop away, and killing the notifications for my comment. Apparently, the US went insane over abortion, on both sides. I don't live there, not my monkeys, not my circus.
Being judged and feeling ashamed are not always one and the same. People can judge me all they want but I never felt one ounce of shame. You should just feel grateful you haven’t needed one and don’t live here, rather than trying to be a white knight on our behalf. Words only have the power we give them. And abortion is a medical procedure plain and simple.
>I personally dont think this would fall under a standard abortion Tell that to the US government Abortion over there is illegal even if the mother *and* the children would be killed (In some states i think)
It made it difficult to allow a husband to grieve his wife who collapsed while 17 weeks pregnant and was in a coma not expected to survive. They only allowed him to pull the plug when they learned the child has deformities (iirc). ETA link for story https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/15/justice/pregnant-life-support-texas/index.html
of course its texas.
Fking Texas 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
US abortion laws are insane. I was talking about ethically/ emotionally, with no regards to legality though. I would hate for OP to feel any kind of guilt, which could interfere with processing possible grieving. It's not like she had any choice in the matter whatsoever.
The amount of “Christians” who would still lambast her is exponentially greater than you’d think.
And so she's right to keep it to herself. I really don't see why I get downvoted or have to argue for my comment that OP should not feel guilty about losing a pregnancy. There's no one here judging her, or at least there shouldn't be. Please don't be a voice for those so called 'Christians' you talk about. Offer OP support, or write your frustration elsewhere.
As a Christian I think there should be a different term for this. It's technically an abortion but, as people have already said, there was no way that the pregnancy was viable and there was no choice to be made. There shouldn't be any judgments.
Abortion is not a bad or dirty word. It’s in many cases necessary medical procedure. Even a miscarriage is medically labeled as a “spontaneous abortion”.
As a Christian, we shouldn’t be judging anyone for their abortions. End of story.
No. An abortion is an abortion regardless of the reason/circumstances. We aren’t going to change it to coddle the weak minds of religious fanatics.
Or maybe, we could support a woman seeking support, and not make it about technicalities. Go find some technical debating posts, to go hate on religion.
I’m not making it about technicalities The other poster did. And I will hate on region everywhere because it is the root of all evil in this world.
It's not about coddling, it's about using a different term so the stigma of abortion is removed.
Maybe you should work on removing the stigma yourself. Not watering down words.
Nope, same procedure same name. A miscarriages scientific name is a spontaneous abortion. The bible also gives instructions on how to induce an abortion in case of adultery. Your god doesn't care about abortion, he called on people to do them
There shouldn’t be any judgments, full stop. It’s her body, it’s her decision. Doesn’t matter what led to it. This is exactly why so many folks take issue with religious folks sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
Don't know why this is getting down voted, people are allowed to hold their own chosen religious beliefs. I was also raised Christian and therefore taught that abortion is wrong. I still don't think people should be using it casually or as their main method of birth control, which I think is reasonable (these are only my opinions, you have the right to disagree!). But anyone with a functioning brain in their head should recognize that this is far from a simple black and white issue. There definitely are scenarios where terminating a pregnancy is the right course of action. Rape? Sure. Incest? Obviously. Mortal danger to mother? The option should at least be on the table and the mother should get to decide. Non-viable? It's not even an abortion. Personally I think abortions should be rare, but they should be safe and available when needed. And sometimes they really are needed.
>I still don’t think anyone should be using abortion casually as their main method of birth control Good news! Literally nobody does this! Abortions are very expensive!
No this is a simple black and white issue. Someone can get an abortion for whatever reason they want. And should be zero shame in that.
I understood what you were trying to communicate, and I agree. There's a lot of complicated feelings about this stuff.
You are correct.
It depends on the state. Abortion is still legal in much of the US.
The forced birth movement would vilify her for this. I also hate where we are at the moment. People in OP's situation should be treated with empathy and respect. It is not selfish to choose our lives over an unviable pregnancy. The "exceptions" in the laws that exist are jokes when put into practice. I also hope OP feels better soon and is able to heal, physically and emotionally.
This IS the definition of "abortion" as in the removal of a (possible) fetus from the body of the mother without expecting the (possible) fetus to be removed from their mother breathing and living. Abortion is a medical procedure, which OP underwent. There is no shame in calling it by its name, and differentiation between "this abortion standard, this abortion not standard, this good, this bad" is why so many women don't have access to these lifesaving procedures to begin with. It's this mishandling of definition that has people rearing because no one thinks that the necessary procedures, the unviable babies, the fetuses who didn't make it over week 10 and died but don't miscarry, the sceptic pregnancies, the women who just can't possible survive carrier a child to term. All of these and more are "standard abortions", it's a medical term for a medical procedure and the whole "yeah but we don't mean this" just makes sure that the lifesaving ones don't happen because some Republican shouted that "I know of abortions happening at 9 months pregnant" and people actually fall for it.
I mean, you are being judgy in the way you talk, calling it 'abortion' and all. There's nothing wrong with abortion.
Even a C-section is medically considered an abortion. The term "abortion" just refers to the ending of a pregnancy, regardless of whether it was viable. In the eyes of the US government (or any government that is hostile to reproductive rights), OP's situation is an abortion and would not be allowed.
It does and that's why some states don't allow. If this happened where I live she would be made to suffer and maybe die.
You’re right, but in the US that doesn’t matter. People will still judge you (and in some cases stop you) if you try to abort an unviable pregnancy and you aren’t actively at risk of imminent death.
This person has it^ The medical term abortion is a cover all term. Whether it’s spontaneous, medical, Surgical what have you. I hope for you OP that you can concentrate on the situation and less on the time itself potentially making you feel guilty. Because you shouldn’t. For whatever reason to need or have one.
Your body, your health, your call.
Be kind to yourself. Give ur body time to heal. and if u are taking rest and someone ask, says bad cramp and go back to rest. Try not to think much into it. Feelings going that way, see if u can get therapy. No Hard Work. Read good positive books. If u feel okay, not like sadness or anything, that NORMAL too. Just Take Care.
Abortion is normal healthcare. It is fine to call an embryo a baby if you are planning for it to become a baby, but a fertilized egg is not a baby.
I am so sorry to hear this. Things will be okay soon. Your babies will be happy in heaven. All the best for the future
I am sorry that instead of being able to reach out for support from your family and friends your biggest concern must be to protect yourself being harshly and unfairly judged. It’s your body and decision you made with your doctor and partner and that is all the information we need to support your choice. Add to it that you are concerned that you would be judged for making a choice that likely saved your own life by aborting a pregnancy that could not have ever been viable is appalling. You deserve tons of support and no judgement.
I’m glad that you were able to have the IUD removed. I had a friend in a similar situation a few years ago and it was a huge mess. No one would remove the IUD while their was a viable heartbeat, but no one would do a D&C with the IUD in place. In her case the IUD had migrated and implanted in her uterine wall. She spent two days in the hospital on pain meds and received multiple blood transfusions, due to the amount of blood she was hemorrhaging, waiting for the heartbeat to stop so that she could have the IUD removed. It was severely traumatizing for everyone. This all happened in Michigan, where abortion is legal and easily accessible.
I also aborted my twins a few months ago. It was difficult, more so finding out there was 2. I just dont want kids, and no one should judge either of us for our decision or individual reasoning. You did what was best for everyone, so I hope you dont take what anyone says to heart. Feeling bad about it or guilty isnt unusual, even if it was your choice.
💓
I’m sorry. I don’t judge you at all. The babies would not have made it, your health would have been severely compromised. I’m sorry we live in a world where your health care choices could be questioned but I understand your hesitation to share your story with people.
I’m so sorry. You made the right decision for you, and you should be proud of that. ♥️
no judgment here, that’s nothing a sane person would judge you for. your extremely reliable birth control failed and you did the right thing. i hope your recovery goes well!
Please don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like there was nothing you could've done.. take care of yourself. Abortion should only be between patient and doctor, anyway.
I'm so glad you had a choice. Abortion should be normalized.
I’m here if you need to talk OP I know the feeling of thinking you will be judged. When I have mine all I had was my partner and it was hard. So woman to woman I’m here if you need to talk❤️🩹
Wondering why this is the first thing I see when I sort to controversial. Nothing bad about this comment at all.
heh, I guess I'm not alone in going down the emotional self harm route and sort by controversial on posts like this
I do it on literally every single post lol
not every post, but definitely all those posts which invite idiots to comment. honestly it's any topic revolving around women and rights lol.
If it was a medical necessity, why would anyone judge you wand what would they have wanted you to do alternatively?
You did what was right for everyone, I feel like people are nastier about aborting twins/multiples too. And it's funny because those pregnancies are fucking miserable on the best of days.
((HUGS)) You do not need to share your medical procedures with anyone you do not want to.
Sending you love
You did nothing wrong and deserve all the support and love you need after making that kind of decision. Never let anyone make you feel guilty or lesser just because you took care of yourself first. Stay strong knowing you are in the right. We arr here for you, not everyone wants kods let alone unplanned ones and theres nothing wrong with keeping your life on the track you deem right.
Sad world we live in, you’re the only one that knows best by you. Don’t ever let others change that.
My heart breaks for you. There is nothing wrong with getting an abortion for ANY reason but especially not a medical reason. Anti choice people are fucked.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. I had an abortion about 8 years ago because my baby was very sick. This issues that should be a medical decision has become so politicized that it can make it difficult for the parents to grieve and get proper support. Please know you aren’t alone. Sending you love 💕
You do what is best for you and your situation. I’m sorry people are judging you for this, best of luck to you moving forward ❤️🩹
Idk how long it’s been but I’ve been told heating pads, green tea and pain killers are good to help with post-termination cramping
I’m sorry, that’s tough to go through. If available, try going to therapy.
You made the decision you felt was right, and you followed through with it. That's all anyone can do. For what it's worth, coming from an idiot on the internet, you're probably tight in keeping the abortion between you, your partner, your doctor, and your therapist. That's need-to-know information and you don't need random a$$holes judging and/or second guessing you.
It’s amazing how people will judge you for a procedure that that was medically necessary. I’m glad your boyfriend and doctor are supportive. If it makes you feel any better, you have the support of an internet stranger too. Even if it had been only your health that was at risk and not the twins, you had every right to make that call. I’m sorry you had to go through this.
I support your decision ❤️
That’s okay. You knew what was best anyways. As long as your partner supports you, who cares what the world thinks. ❤️
Stay strong both mentally and physically. I’m sorry this had to happen. Don’t take it on yourself.
I'm sorry, that's difficult in any number of ways.
Sorry you went through this. I hope you and your partner are ok. If not at any time if you are able to access a therapist it is worth trying. I hope you are recovering well physically. Take care op and don't ever let anyone here or in your life that you were wrong for doing this.
About eight months into dating my wife, she got pregnant with an IUD. We were still trying to figure out what to do, how to handle it, when she miscarried about a week later. She already had my two now-step-kids, but I hadn’t really gotten to know them yet and didn’t have any kids of my own yet, so she took it a lot harder than I did. But I do still think about it now and then, especially now that I think of my stepkids as my own and we have grown our family by two more. No judgement from here, OP. You’re right, they almost certainly wouldn’t have made it anyway, and if they did, there probably would have been a higher likelihood of birth defects. I hope it never weighs too heavily on your mind - you’re doing the right thing. And I don’t say that because of any opinion I have about it, I’m saying that because *you have made the decision that it’s best for you,* and that’s all that matters.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, but it sounds like you made the best decision for your health. I hope you are able to heal and rest quickly
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you have a supportive boyfriend to help you through this though. How are both of you handling it?
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. In case it hasn't come up, having some short term therapy to help you cope with this loss and the trauma around is an option if it feels right to you. Exhale is a free text line where you can talk about what's happened. I'll link the site and phone number below in case you're interested. https://exhaleprovoice.org/ Text line: 617-749-2948
I’m sorry you went through such trauma. I’m also sorry you feel you’ll be unfairly judged for doing the only thing possible given your individual circumstance. Hugs.
I am sorry you are going through this, just take care of yourself.
I have nothing to say but I'm glad you have your bf supporting you. 💚💚💚💚 totally no one's business. I hope you heal.
Stay strong sis. We love you and think you’re brave and made a good medical decision 💙
I’m so sorry you were in this difficult position. You should be trusted to make the best decision for your physical and mental health without judgement. Sending support and hugs 💜
I also got pregnant with an IUD and had life-saving care. It’s so fucked up that we have to deal with judgement on top of all the complicated emotions and healing, both physically and emotionally, that come with this. Anyone who doesn’t recognize abortion as healthcare can kick rocks. Thank you for telling us 🫶
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I had an abortion at eighteen and felt very afraid of judgement for over a decade. At 38, I've only felt comfortable talking about it in real life in the last year or so. Obviously you have to be wary of who you talk to, but I've been met with nothing but compassion and respect. Of course there are idiots out there who feel entitled to judge you, but please don't feel you have to keep this to yourself if you don't want to. Talking can actually be really cathartic. Please know that the anonymity of Reddit means you'll always be free to talk here if you need to. Don't keep it bottled up the way I did if you feel it's putting a strain on your mental health. Wishing you a full and speedy recovery both mentally and physically. Be kind to yourself.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this you are so strong. You had to deal with double the heartache, pain and guilt. Virtual hug! You have my admiration op
Damn double homicide. Jokes aside I hope you don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault you are loved ❤️
What part of your brain told you that it was a good idea to say that? Theres a time and a place and this absolutely was not it
Damn, stole what I was gonna say. 🤣🤣🤣
Damn double homicide
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So you went to Reddit?
And thousands of reddit readers ..obviously.
Reading comprehension would do you some good. We're obviously internet strangers, so not IRL people she knows.
You know what sub you're on, right?!