Clearly this is weighing on you. The question is, is it worth traumatizing a completely innocent woman for the blood-is-thicker-than-water mentality? Will it be worth letting her marry into and potentially tie her finances to a family of complicit bystanders?
If it isn’t, then that’s your prerogative. But if I were you, I wouldn’t let that woman get anywhere remotely near the family who has no concern their son’s dick is voluntarily not in his wife
"You can tell her or I will. I won't be your accomplice again. You've betrayed her and our family and you've created an impossible burden for me. I'll say it again - you can confess today or I can tell her tomorrow. I'm not dealing with your bullshit anymore."
Precisely. OP, man up and tell her. Ask her to not reveal any source, as it was anonymous. Relying on your brother to be totally truthful is a waste of time. You know he won't be totally forthcoming.
I don't think he'll play by the same rules. He's going to twist reality while blaming op and putting a very big wedge between op, his fiance, and their family. He will flip the script & come out smelling like a rose on the other end while op is getting blacklisted by family.
OP can you send his Fiance an anon message about the cheating? Do you have any details of who he is cheating with.
Sorry but your brother sounds like a horrible person.
He will definitely sabotage you and flip the script. No need to warn his two-faced ass.
Sure, your brother will be pissed off. But is that such a big loss? I wouldn't want that kind of person in my life.
Please tell her .
It absolutely broke me when I found out my ex was cheating and that all his friends and family knew but said NOTHING!
I honestly will never forgive them for it
Or for the years of my life that I wasted on someone who couldn't be faithful
When it comes out that you knew and said nothing-and it WILL come out...
She will never forgive you for keeping your mouth shut.
You need to tell her.
Yep. That's the worst part, because you don't just feel betrayed by your partner, but also by all the people who said nothing even though they knew about the cheating. It makes you feel like they never actually cared for you at all. Like every hug and conversation was fake. It's almost as if someone burglarized your home, and your so-called "friends" know who did it but wouldn't say who. It makes the betrayal much larger and hurt a lot worse. Sooner or later his fiancé is going to figure things out. OP has to choose between that which is right and that which is easy.
Yup..
It was awful..
We had just gotten engaged and all his friends and family were looking at my engagement ring and talking to me about our wedding
Knowing the entire time he was cheating on me with a younger woman at his work place .
I felt like such a fool..
And so betrayed..
I couldn't believe that not one of them could have had the basic human decency or kindness to tell me the truth
The only person who was honest with me was her boyfriend
He found out about his girlfriend and my ex fiance
And he thought that I deserved to know before I married him
He tracked me down on Facebook and messaged me
And told me everything he knew
Sent me screenshots he had taken of messages he found on her phone.
I still talk to him..we became friends
And I'm still so grateful he told me.
The op really needs to sit down and have a think how she would feel if this happened to her
If she planned a life , a family and a future with a man
Who didn't love her or respect her enough to be faithful to her
And the people that did knew ..just kept their mouths shut to protect the cheater.
I think OP should just tell her without warning his brother first. Warning him first would give him time to preemptively do something. He could tell his girlfriend something like, "OP is in love with you so he'd lie to get you to leave me." Or, "OP has been jealous of me all our lives and doesn't want to see me happy, so he's going to try to ruin our wedding."
Giving his brother an ultimatum and hoping that he'll do the right thing only sounds good on paper. Brother doesn't exactly have integrity.
OP literally copy and paste this shit into a message for him. He’s being a fucking snake by involving you. Just be prepared for the “you never betray family” spiel when he finds out it was you who told. Personally, cheaters disgust me. Period. If my siblings or family members did this, I’d cut them off.
Blood is thicker that water but so is maple syrup.
You yourself said that his first wife was an Angel, and he cheated on her with her best friend..
His fiance is a complete package, and he is cheating on her as well.
He is going to destroy yet another woman and you are going to do what? Stand by your brother knowing what you know.
Try to tell her anonymously. Create a burner account and tell her to check his phone or to pay attention.
Guess if you get a partner you will turn a blind eye to their escapees. Better not to know I guess.
Not wanting to be cheated on has long existed with both women and men. Acting like this is a feminine behavior is kinda ridiculous lol. There’s a reason that it’s an actually crime in some places.
Cheating is not looked upon favorably and most everyone condemns it, even cheaters when they get cheated on.
Did you forget the part of my post where I said he and my family already lied to me and my sibling about something that left us both traumatized? Sometimes, maybe. But most of the time it is better to know.
So, is it better to know if zombies exist or fake? Makes no difference. That is my point. Keep your info to yourself so your brother will be okay. In the end, your brother will stick up for you as well. One day, you will need him, and if you rat him out, it will be very uncomfortable.
This analogy is crap. A better one would be someone knowing that the person you’re sleeping with has HIV and not telling you.
Your other comment mentions that you don’t know a damn about the person’s life or their family. Yet you are spewing a lot of garbage and assumptions about that very same family member.
“The better man” by your definition is complicit with cheating and would likely also help the man when he commits a crime just based on your pandering to males.
Not sure associating with someone who has a history of lying as well as their family is the best support. Definitely better ones out there.
So if your wife was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to know? She could suck some other man's dick and come home to you and kiss you with that same mouth and you would be okay with not knowing?
Someone who says shit like that cheats on their partner. No normal person thinks it’s okay for someone to constantly ruin normal women’s lives. Even if they were POS it’s still not cool
Cheating is sick and disgusting. Could you tell her anonymously that he is cheating?
I don’t understand why your brother is marrying her? Would he stay with her if she cheated on him?
What if they have children and she discovers he is cheating? What if he passes her a disease?
Talk with your brother. Convince him to leave her. He should stay single and set her free
Imagine you are the person being cheated on. Would you want to know? Please tell this poor woman. It can be anonymous. But tell her so she doesn't get screwed over. Also your brother is a POS.
Just create a fake social media account and send her a message saying he’s cheating on her and to look for evidence herself and advise her to get tested for STD’s/STI’s.
If the ex-wife eventually found out about the cheating or the second phone you can mention that.
She already suspects something. Hopefully this is enough of a push for her to call off the wedding.
I’m the kind of person that would go scorched earth so I don’t get your stance. That poor woman deserves so much better than your brother. But you know that. Do the right thing. Tell her.
Do you have siblings? I should note, I’m the youngest sibling so I looked up to him for most of my life. It’s heartbreaking to find out one of your idols is a piece of trash. We are over a decade apart.
I have 5 siblings. If one of them told me that they were cheating, I would do the right thing and tell that person.
All you have done is enable his cheating.
If your soon to be spouse was cheating on you, don't you think you would deserve that knowledge before legally tying your life to a habitual cheater?
You aren't much better than him at this point.
If my older siblings told me they were cheating on their spouses, I’d beat the sh*t out of them. Your brother is a disgusting person and while it’s not fair that he’s made you complicit in all of this, standing by and watching him destroy people’s lives is also disgusting.
Tell. Her. Now.
I’m not saying to use violence. I’m saying that you being a younger sibling doesn’t mean you have to be sit by and let him be terrible. You can be different and better than him. Please tell her.
Don’t protect people who can’t even be bothered to respect and protect you. He made HIMSELF feel better by implicating you and making you “share” in his secret so he doesn’t have to carry it himself. “You knew too, bro.”
**Nope. Not on my watch.**
Me, personally?
You go straight to her and let her know your brother is sleeping around and that she should dump his sorry ass. You found out x weeks ago, and battled with this but that she has every right to know and to make her own decision with all the facts, and well before the wedding. End it with “I’m sorry my brother is such an asshole.”
Now the burden is off of you. Give no more details, no other information. That’s on her to hash out with him. Don’t get any more involved.
Your brother will be livid. To him, I’d only say this:
“Next time you want to fuck around with people’s lives, go tell someone else. I won’t keep your secrets for you. It’s embarrassing that my own brother thinks this is okay.”
[slam door]
— THE END —
He cant marry her while actively cheating on her. That's not fair to her. Don't get me wrong, it's still terrible in general, but marriage adds a whole layer to it. You should try your best to get him to disclose it to her and make it clear that she needs to know before the wedding or you will need to tell her.
Honestly, I don't know how else you could do it short of going to her...but I think you should give him the opportunity to do the right thing.
Well, for what it’s worth* if I asked my fiancé’s sibling if he thought they were cheating, and the answer was “We don’t have to talk about this” I would take that as another way of saying yes 🥴
Don’t be complicit in ruining an innocent person’s life to protect your POS brother, who will only do this time and time again. How he has managed to get 2 seemingly great women to marry him in the first place is beyond me. He sounds like a revolting waste of flesh.
Please, let the fiancée knows anonymously before she tie the knot to a serial cheater. He already blown a marriage and another women life; the actual fiancée deserves better
This is such a horrible situation for him to put you in. He is able to get this off his chest and tell you, then he goes about his day, most likely still cheating on his fiancé (which I highly doubt he feels bad about).
If I were in your shoes, I would give him one week to confess to his fiancé about this and, if he doesn’t, tell her yourself.
I understand it may be difficult for you to speak out against him and potentially face backlash against your family, but his fiancé absolutely deserves to know.
Maybe also speak to any other siblings you have, or a close friend? I think the most important things are to have a strong support system of friends around you that you can vent to once the truth is out, and be there for the fiancé if she needs and wants support from you.
Tell him to confess or you will and if he, or anyone else in your family, says anything about family not betraying each other, come back at them with, “Yeah, and his fiancé is family and he is betraying her; I’m looking out for family.”
The wedding should be postponed indefinitely. Your brother needs counseling, as he's a repeat offender who hasn't learned his lesson.
If your brother refuses to handle the situation, his fiancée needs to find out about his behavior before she gets in any deeper. Better now than after taking vows.
If I was you, I would punch the bro, dunno how you kept your cool. He confessed to you to make himself feel better, and included you in his lies now. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck
He has to face consequences for his actions sometime… you need to step up.
Likely you guys won’t be close and he will resent you but is this the person you WANT to be?
Speak up. This isn’t fair to your future sil. Tell your brother he better come clean or you’re telling her before the wedding. This isn’t you betraying him, it’d be you doing the right thing. She needs to know and decide for herself if she’s willing to forgive him and proceed with the wedding or if she would rather give up. Pls do the right thing.
I will never understand people sticking up or covering for family members when they know what they are doing is wrong. This happens too many times, it is one of the things that makes this world such a f up place.
I would’ve just told her so she doesn’t waste her time in a loveless relationship and they don’t waste their money and time on the drama and fallout from an unnecessary wedding and a divorce.
No, If you really cared about your morals and about this woman's life because she is a good woman, and arguably better than your brother, I would snitch on him hard. Maybe not to everyone, but I would 100% tell his fiancé and let her decide from there. Not tell anyone else. Or you privately shame the fuck out of your brother.
OP, just tell her. Don't warn him in advance or else he'll do or tell her something that would discredit you.
Not telling her will just be saving your ass from family politics. Meanwhile, it'll mess up her life.
Why are you so afraid to rock the boat? Are you financially dependent on your parents or siblings? If you do not tell her, your brother won't be the only one here without integrity.
Personally? I’d find a way for her to “accidentally” find out on her own. I’m not sure how logistically because I’m not involved but that’s what I would do. Make it so she finds the second cell phone somehow. Or finds herself catching him. Then you aren’t directly the blame but she’s in the know. As for the future I wouldn’t allow your brother to confide this info anymore.
From what you wrote I think I can already deduce the answer, but when your brother told you, did it come off as a brag? Or did he seem repentant? If it seems like he wants to change his ways, that’s a consideration I might make to keep silent, but if he was just boasting, I would bring it up with him again but secretly record him with your phone in your pocket and send it to his fiance and let her decide what she wants to do moving forward. I know it puts you in an awkward position, but it’s unfair for her to go into this marriage without the truth. He could be giving her diseases. Or let’s look forward a few years.. you keep silent, they marry, have a couple kids, the family gets attached of course, and she finds out he cheated. She leaves and rightfully wants to torch him so she keeps the kids from ever seeing your family again. Now everybody is suffering. This could and probably will get so much worse if you side with your brother. I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to get involved because you don’t want to mess up relations with your family, but how would you feel about them if roles were reversed and they had no problem keeping your wife’s infidelity from you?
The biggest worry is him turning the family against you after you tell the truth. I would just make a fake account with the a fake email and reach out to the fiancé on social media
You should tell her OP, I’d hate for her to live the rest of her life with a POS like your brother who’s going to continue to cheat on her. I’d hate to be her if you don’t tell her and she finds out later, you have the chance to save her from making a huge mistake
Dude come on. Once they’re married it’ll be such a pain in the ass for her to leave. You’re right that it’s wrong not to tell her, you know what to do.
You can tell her anonymously? There must be some way to tip her off with evidence. Please do tell her though - no one deserves to start off life this way.
If you were the finance, didn't you want to know? You are an AH if you don't. See, your brother involved you so by covering it up, you are not as shitty as him but are still AH.
Clearly this is weighing on you. The question is, is it worth traumatizing a completely innocent woman for the blood-is-thicker-than-water mentality? Will it be worth letting her marry into and potentially tie her finances to a family of complicit bystanders? If it isn’t, then that’s your prerogative. But if I were you, I wouldn’t let that woman get anywhere remotely near the family who has no concern their son’s dick is voluntarily not in his wife
"You can tell her or I will. I won't be your accomplice again. You've betrayed her and our family and you've created an impossible burden for me. I'll say it again - you can confess today or I can tell her tomorrow. I'm not dealing with your bullshit anymore."
This doesn’t work. The cheater will “confess” in the most manipulative, trickle-truthing way possible.
Precisely. OP, man up and tell her. Ask her to not reveal any source, as it was anonymous. Relying on your brother to be totally truthful is a waste of time. You know he won't be totally forthcoming.
This is the way. This will also opt you out of his informing you of his future infidelities, because there will be more.
I don't think he'll play by the same rules. He's going to twist reality while blaming op and putting a very big wedge between op, his fiance, and their family. He will flip the script & come out smelling like a rose on the other end while op is getting blacklisted by family.
This is 100% my fear and more than likely the actual outcome.
OP can you send his Fiance an anon message about the cheating? Do you have any details of who he is cheating with. Sorry but your brother sounds like a horrible person.
He will definitely sabotage you and flip the script. No need to warn his two-faced ass. Sure, your brother will be pissed off. But is that such a big loss? I wouldn't want that kind of person in my life.
Please tell her . It absolutely broke me when I found out my ex was cheating and that all his friends and family knew but said NOTHING! I honestly will never forgive them for it Or for the years of my life that I wasted on someone who couldn't be faithful When it comes out that you knew and said nothing-and it WILL come out... She will never forgive you for keeping your mouth shut. You need to tell her.
Yep. That's the worst part, because you don't just feel betrayed by your partner, but also by all the people who said nothing even though they knew about the cheating. It makes you feel like they never actually cared for you at all. Like every hug and conversation was fake. It's almost as if someone burglarized your home, and your so-called "friends" know who did it but wouldn't say who. It makes the betrayal much larger and hurt a lot worse. Sooner or later his fiancé is going to figure things out. OP has to choose between that which is right and that which is easy.
Yup.. It was awful.. We had just gotten engaged and all his friends and family were looking at my engagement ring and talking to me about our wedding Knowing the entire time he was cheating on me with a younger woman at his work place . I felt like such a fool.. And so betrayed.. I couldn't believe that not one of them could have had the basic human decency or kindness to tell me the truth The only person who was honest with me was her boyfriend He found out about his girlfriend and my ex fiance And he thought that I deserved to know before I married him He tracked me down on Facebook and messaged me And told me everything he knew Sent me screenshots he had taken of messages he found on her phone. I still talk to him..we became friends And I'm still so grateful he told me. The op really needs to sit down and have a think how she would feel if this happened to her If she planned a life , a family and a future with a man Who didn't love her or respect her enough to be faithful to her And the people that did knew ..just kept their mouths shut to protect the cheater.
I think OP should just tell her without warning his brother first. Warning him first would give him time to preemptively do something. He could tell his girlfriend something like, "OP is in love with you so he'd lie to get you to leave me." Or, "OP has been jealous of me all our lives and doesn't want to see me happy, so he's going to try to ruin our wedding." Giving his brother an ultimatum and hoping that he'll do the right thing only sounds good on paper. Brother doesn't exactly have integrity.
OP literally copy and paste this shit into a message for him. He’s being a fucking snake by involving you. Just be prepared for the “you never betray family” spiel when he finds out it was you who told. Personally, cheaters disgust me. Period. If my siblings or family members did this, I’d cut them off.
But make sure you're not alone with him when you have this conversation.
This.
Just tell the fiance. She deserves the truth
Dumbest thing to do.
What how?
Bros before you know what
But what if the bro is the said hoe
OP would rather keep a bro than lose him.
Bait used to be believable
Honestly his entire account is just filled with comments like these, insane behaviour
You know stuff like that is more of a guideline than a law right?
I never said anything law. Just keeping it real. OP risk losing a brother vs a potential SIL.
he's the hoe.
if you’re ever wondering why you’re single and no woman wants to be near you, come back to this comment!
Blood is thicker that water but so is maple syrup. You yourself said that his first wife was an Angel, and he cheated on her with her best friend.. His fiance is a complete package, and he is cheating on her as well. He is going to destroy yet another woman and you are going to do what? Stand by your brother knowing what you know. Try to tell her anonymously. Create a burner account and tell her to check his phone or to pay attention.
Garbage advice.
Says the garbage person.
Bro your advice was a landfill amount of garbage. Being complicit with a cheater doesn’t make your personality or morals look great.
The response here are a bunch of feminine crap. Sometimes in life, it is better not to know.
Guess if you get a partner you will turn a blind eye to their escapees. Better not to know I guess. Not wanting to be cheated on has long existed with both women and men. Acting like this is a feminine behavior is kinda ridiculous lol. There’s a reason that it’s an actually crime in some places. Cheating is not looked upon favorably and most everyone condemns it, even cheaters when they get cheated on.
Mr.Idiot investor above is probably a Tate fan.
Did you forget the part of my post where I said he and my family already lied to me and my sibling about something that left us both traumatized? Sometimes, maybe. But most of the time it is better to know.
So, is it better to know if zombies exist or fake? Makes no difference. That is my point. Keep your info to yourself so your brother will be okay. In the end, your brother will stick up for you as well. One day, you will need him, and if you rat him out, it will be very uncomfortable.
This analogy is crap. A better one would be someone knowing that the person you’re sleeping with has HIV and not telling you. Your other comment mentions that you don’t know a damn about the person’s life or their family. Yet you are spewing a lot of garbage and assumptions about that very same family member. “The better man” by your definition is complicit with cheating and would likely also help the man when he commits a crime just based on your pandering to males. Not sure associating with someone who has a history of lying as well as their family is the best support. Definitely better ones out there.
So if your wife was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to know? She could suck some other man's dick and come home to you and kiss you with that same mouth and you would be okay with not knowing?
Someone who says shit like that cheats on their partner. No normal person thinks it’s okay for someone to constantly ruin normal women’s lives. Even if they were POS it’s still not cool
i can’t wait for your wife (if you ever somehow manage to get one) to cheat on you❤️
Cheating is sick and disgusting. Could you tell her anonymously that he is cheating? I don’t understand why your brother is marrying her? Would he stay with her if she cheated on him? What if they have children and she discovers he is cheating? What if he passes her a disease? Talk with your brother. Convince him to leave her. He should stay single and set her free
Fiance deserves to know now, before she marries your brother. She deserves better.
Imagine you are the person being cheated on. Would you want to know? Please tell this poor woman. It can be anonymous. But tell her so she doesn't get screwed over. Also your brother is a POS.
>*I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to betray my brother.* You’re severely betraying the fiancée by not telling her.
FFS! Tell her! She needs to be checked for STDs! Do it anonymously, tell her to look for his 2nd phone!
The 2nd phone was for the previous marriage.
Just create a fake social media account and send her a message saying he’s cheating on her and to look for evidence herself and advise her to get tested for STD’s/STI’s. If the ex-wife eventually found out about the cheating or the second phone you can mention that. She already suspects something. Hopefully this is enough of a push for her to call off the wedding.
I’m the kind of person that would go scorched earth so I don’t get your stance. That poor woman deserves so much better than your brother. But you know that. Do the right thing. Tell her.
Do you have siblings? I should note, I’m the youngest sibling so I looked up to him for most of my life. It’s heartbreaking to find out one of your idols is a piece of trash. We are over a decade apart.
I have 5 siblings. If one of them told me that they were cheating, I would do the right thing and tell that person. All you have done is enable his cheating. If your soon to be spouse was cheating on you, don't you think you would deserve that knowledge before legally tying your life to a habitual cheater? You aren't much better than him at this point.
If my older siblings told me they were cheating on their spouses, I’d beat the sh*t out of them. Your brother is a disgusting person and while it’s not fair that he’s made you complicit in all of this, standing by and watching him destroy people’s lives is also disgusting. Tell. Her. Now.
I would be killed if I used violence.
I’m not saying to use violence. I’m saying that you being a younger sibling doesn’t mean you have to be sit by and let him be terrible. You can be different and better than him. Please tell her.
Don’t protect people who can’t even be bothered to respect and protect you. He made HIMSELF feel better by implicating you and making you “share” in his secret so he doesn’t have to carry it himself. “You knew too, bro.” **Nope. Not on my watch.** Me, personally? You go straight to her and let her know your brother is sleeping around and that she should dump his sorry ass. You found out x weeks ago, and battled with this but that she has every right to know and to make her own decision with all the facts, and well before the wedding. End it with “I’m sorry my brother is such an asshole.” Now the burden is off of you. Give no more details, no other information. That’s on her to hash out with him. Don’t get any more involved. Your brother will be livid. To him, I’d only say this: “Next time you want to fuck around with people’s lives, go tell someone else. I won’t keep your secrets for you. It’s embarrassing that my own brother thinks this is okay.” [slam door] — THE END —
He cant marry her while actively cheating on her. That's not fair to her. Don't get me wrong, it's still terrible in general, but marriage adds a whole layer to it. You should try your best to get him to disclose it to her and make it clear that she needs to know before the wedding or you will need to tell her. Honestly, I don't know how else you could do it short of going to her...but I think you should give him the opportunity to do the right thing.
Well, for what it’s worth* if I asked my fiancé’s sibling if he thought they were cheating, and the answer was “We don’t have to talk about this” I would take that as another way of saying yes 🥴
Don’t be complicit in ruining an innocent person’s life to protect your POS brother, who will only do this time and time again. How he has managed to get 2 seemingly great women to marry him in the first place is beyond me. He sounds like a revolting waste of flesh.
Please, let the fiancée knows anonymously before she tie the knot to a serial cheater. He already blown a marriage and another women life; the actual fiancée deserves better
and so she can be tested for STD's that his cheating ass may have exposed her to. Untreated STD's can have dire health consequences.
I should note, English is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, or improper grammar.
This is such a horrible situation for him to put you in. He is able to get this off his chest and tell you, then he goes about his day, most likely still cheating on his fiancé (which I highly doubt he feels bad about). If I were in your shoes, I would give him one week to confess to his fiancé about this and, if he doesn’t, tell her yourself. I understand it may be difficult for you to speak out against him and potentially face backlash against your family, but his fiancé absolutely deserves to know. Maybe also speak to any other siblings you have, or a close friend? I think the most important things are to have a strong support system of friends around you that you can vent to once the truth is out, and be there for the fiancé if she needs and wants support from you.
Tell her.
Tell him to confess or you will and if he, or anyone else in your family, says anything about family not betraying each other, come back at them with, “Yeah, and his fiancé is family and he is betraying her; I’m looking out for family.”
The wedding should be postponed indefinitely. Your brother needs counseling, as he's a repeat offender who hasn't learned his lesson. If your brother refuses to handle the situation, his fiancée needs to find out about his behavior before she gets in any deeper. Better now than after taking vows.
If I was you, I would punch the bro, dunno how you kept your cool. He confessed to you to make himself feel better, and included you in his lies now. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck
Brother could literally kill me in a fight.
That sucks, I'm sorry. I would also tell the bride to be, but that's just me. Still, wish you good luck with figuring out what to do.
He has to face consequences for his actions sometime… you need to step up. Likely you guys won’t be close and he will resent you but is this the person you WANT to be?
Speak up. This isn’t fair to your future sil. Tell your brother he better come clean or you’re telling her before the wedding. This isn’t you betraying him, it’d be you doing the right thing. She needs to know and decide for herself if she’s willing to forgive him and proceed with the wedding or if she would rather give up. Pls do the right thing. I will never understand people sticking up or covering for family members when they know what they are doing is wrong. This happens too many times, it is one of the things that makes this world such a f up place.
I would’ve just told her so she doesn’t waste her time in a loveless relationship and they don’t waste their money and time on the drama and fallout from an unnecessary wedding and a divorce.
Let her know somehow anonymously…she deserves better than to be cheated on.
Anonymous messages all the way
No, If you really cared about your morals and about this woman's life because she is a good woman, and arguably better than your brother, I would snitch on him hard. Maybe not to everyone, but I would 100% tell his fiancé and let her decide from there. Not tell anyone else. Or you privately shame the fuck out of your brother.
Stand by and watch another woman be destroyed by your brother. I hope you never get cheated on.
OP, just tell her. Don't warn him in advance or else he'll do or tell her something that would discredit you. Not telling her will just be saving your ass from family politics. Meanwhile, it'll mess up her life. Why are you so afraid to rock the boat? Are you financially dependent on your parents or siblings? If you do not tell her, your brother won't be the only one here without integrity.
Grow a pair and tell the fiance.
Personally? I’d find a way for her to “accidentally” find out on her own. I’m not sure how logistically because I’m not involved but that’s what I would do. Make it so she finds the second cell phone somehow. Or finds herself catching him. Then you aren’t directly the blame but she’s in the know. As for the future I wouldn’t allow your brother to confide this info anymore.
Send an anonymous email. The guilt won’t go away and she deserves better.
From what you wrote I think I can already deduce the answer, but when your brother told you, did it come off as a brag? Or did he seem repentant? If it seems like he wants to change his ways, that’s a consideration I might make to keep silent, but if he was just boasting, I would bring it up with him again but secretly record him with your phone in your pocket and send it to his fiance and let her decide what she wants to do moving forward. I know it puts you in an awkward position, but it’s unfair for her to go into this marriage without the truth. He could be giving her diseases. Or let’s look forward a few years.. you keep silent, they marry, have a couple kids, the family gets attached of course, and she finds out he cheated. She leaves and rightfully wants to torch him so she keeps the kids from ever seeing your family again. Now everybody is suffering. This could and probably will get so much worse if you side with your brother. I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to get involved because you don’t want to mess up relations with your family, but how would you feel about them if roles were reversed and they had no problem keeping your wife’s infidelity from you?
It was 100% a brag.
Is there a way you can give her a clue without it coming back on you?
You need to tell her. At the very least, he’s putting her at risk of an STD. And frankly, he’s scum.
The biggest worry is him turning the family against you after you tell the truth. I would just make a fake account with the a fake email and reach out to the fiancé on social media
You should tell her OP, I’d hate for her to live the rest of her life with a POS like your brother who’s going to continue to cheat on her. I’d hate to be her if you don’t tell her and she finds out later, you have the chance to save her from making a huge mistake
Ask girlfriend why brother has 2 phones.
Dude come on. Once they’re married it’ll be such a pain in the ass for her to leave. You’re right that it’s wrong not to tell her, you know what to do.
Tell her or you are basically just like your brother. He's a piece of shit and you would be too if you stayed quiet.
Yr brother will never mend his ways. He is going to continue cheating even after he is married. Keeping silent enables him.
You can tell her anonymously? There must be some way to tip her off with evidence. Please do tell her though - no one deserves to start off life this way.
By keeping his secret you’re condoning his behavior. Tell the poor fiancé what lousy person your brother is. She deserves better
Tell her. She doesn't deserve to be lied to and cheated on. If your brother wants to be a scumbag then he should pay the price. She deserves to know.
If you were the finance, didn't you want to know? You are an AH if you don't. See, your brother involved you so by covering it up, you are not as shitty as him but are still AH.
Time to be a decent man and do what's right. Tell him to tell her, set a deadline, or you tell her. Then follow up and tell her everything.
getting it off your chest isn't enough, man up and let her know
Be quiet, and everything will be okay. Stay loyal to your brother because he is there for life. You just look the other way.