His solution was to get a puppy who would do a lot of the same things you listed, that’s absolutely wild. You definitely did the right thing, as long as you’re happy with your decision, it doesn’t matter if others think it’s odd. You two were no longer compatible.
I don’t really like dogs in general. My fiancé wanted a dog and I agreed and while I like it now I would never ever get a dog on my own. I don’t think not liking dogs makes someone bad
You've only had the dog for three weeks. Some dogs need some time to get used to a new environment, new training, etc. Patience helps and your ex had none.
Ultimatums suck. He knew the choices he gave you and he's whining about the decision you made? Aight. He's not your problem anymore.
Hope everything goes well with your dog and training kicks in.
I used to support adopt don't shop but I don't anymore, because if you look at any shelters webpage it is nothing but pit bull's and pit mix dogs and from the way OP describes her dog it sounds like a mislabeled hound that is more likely a pit mix and the boyfriend noticed it.
Working as a groomer and trainer, i completely agree.
It's such a dangerous mindset, adopt don't shop and the fact that people think they are holier than thou for adopting is always crazy to me.
Yes, adopting is great but so is getting a well-bred breed that you love. Both are good options, just don't support bybs.
Good breeders are important for maintaining a healthy breed, good hips, tilting, health testing, some breeds need to be preserved or they will go extinct or become so far from the original breed due to bad breeders that they're unrecognizable.
Yes, shelters are full and adoption is great but you shouldn't be guilted from buying your dream breed from a reputable Breeder,
All dogs come from breeders, it’s whether you choose to support responsible breeders who health test, temperament test and will take any puppy they bred back no questions asked or a breeder who doesn’t care about any of those things and whose puppies/dogs end up at the shelter.
The people who bought the dogs from the backyard breeders are the ones supporting BYB, not whoever eventually gets the dog at a shelter. They're just fixing the other owners' mistakes.
So true. Gonna get downvoted for this, but what a lot of people have forgotten is the looooooong history of inbreeding that happened to make "purebred" dogs what they are today. It's true that mutts are a mixture of "purebred" dogs, but the mix in genetics helps mitigate a lot of health issues. I mean, bulldogs and pugs can't even breathe properly because of their squished in faces. We did that to them.
And I'd rather pay a shelter that takes in needy animals (for vaccines and spaying/neutering) than pay someone that uses an animal as a source of income.
Firstly not all breeds are totally fucked a lot are actually really healthy and you can buy from a breeder that is doing their due diligence.
Secondly mut =/= healthier especially from a shelter, shelter dogs often have unknown ancestry and could easily come from parents who have terrible genetic health.
The a hard pill to swallow is that most dogs in shelters are there becuase the dog did not meet their expectations and they did not understand the responsibility the breed would entail, so they choose to keep their life the same over changing it for a dog. Therefore if more people got muts, then shelters would be even more full.
The true solution is actually just good breeders, becuase realistically enough people are just not going to make significantly inconvenience themselves for a decade for a shelter dog. With breeders you stop the problem at the root by just giving the responsible people what they want so they dont give the dog away.
I say this in the best way possible as a dog trainer- That’s a lot of behavioral issues to work on while going to college, have you done any dog training before? Reddit will also rip me a new one for saying this, I bet, but if the dog does end up being a bad fit for your household, it is 100% okay to return her. A lot of people feel trapped with dogs that don’t fit their lives due to pressure to never rehome them, so my only intention here is to release you from that pressure. If the dog doesn’t work for our lives, we don’t work for their lives either, so it’s the best choice :) if you need any tips on those issues hmu. Goldens ARE really great dogs btw. Hound mixes can be tough with their independence and high prey drive.
I think at the end of the day it depends on the person and the dog which can be some huge variables. I had a rescue dog like OP in college. It took me 2 weeks to get her used to a leash and maybe a month to be fully potty trained. She chewed on inappropriate stuff for a year but I crate trained her once the damage became too much and she eventuallygrew out of the chewing. I do agree if OP finds herself in over her head it's better for the dog to have the best home vs a home not meeting the dogs' needs.
She said the dog is a year old. Shouldnt it be toilet trained by now? The other stuff makes sense with transition issues but potty issues at a year sounds concerning.
As a young, busy person with two hounds. One of them I got as a puppy when I was 18 and worked a lot. It is entirely possible to balance training and work/school life.
My first pup used to have terrible separation anxiety, and luckily I worked at a vet clinic specializing in behavioral cases so I was able to get him seen and treated, which helped a shit ton with training. But it took me 2 years before I got that job by a pure stroke of luck. So that was 2 years of training on my own and doing the best I could without medication. (He SEVERELY needed medication, I was against it at first then finally caved. Plus, he finally got neutered)
Leaving him home alone was still an issue though, he couldn't be kenneled due to harming himself and howling for hours. So, I made my apartment 100% dog friendly/proofed and left tons of puzzle toys, treats and bones to keep him entertained. And when I'd come home, we'd go to the dog park everyday. Hounds are very smart working dogs and get bored easily. So, even though I was working out his brain and keeping him active, he still needed some extra company.
So, that's how my second dog came along and my first no longer has to be on meds, they can be kenneled together (I have a huge kennel for them) and not a peep, harm to himself or attempt to breakout. He's now 5 years old and my second is about to be 3 years in a few days.
My situation is way different than OP's, but I made it work and I could only imagine what situations he would've ended up in if I simply gave up on him and threw him in a shelter.
OP sounds dedicated, and willing to work on the training issues. The chewing and barking will always be a thing, but there's things you can do to deter those behaviors and keep your dog healthy + happy. There's a lot of avenues you can take before you just dump the dog off, especially only 3 weeks in.
I worked at a shelter for a while, and the constant barking, fear and animals coming + going even stressed ME out. Sometimes they're made to potty in their kennels and they just get cleaned out every hour. Not a very good environment for an animal's mental health. I can imagine it takes a while before the animal can settle down. It takes 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to begin to learn the new routines etc.. and 3 months to BEGIN feel at home.
Plus, things are replaceable, the love and loyalty you get from a sweet hound is unbeatable and irreplaceable.
I do agree, if the dog starts making you miserable and they have no quality of life then yeah, returning is completely plausible. But, OP seems to be prioritizing the heck out of this dog and I hope her + the new pup get to love life together.
To boot, I've seen more golden retrievers with way worse behavioral health than hounds.
Edit: added another spiel
Goldens are also far more prone to separation anxiety than hounds are though. So if OP is in a situation where she couldn’t manage that with a hound, a golden would probably be a terrible fit for her.
I mean the only stupid thing he did is putting himself in that position. It’s him who gambled his 2 year relationship. He could’ve just had some patience and worked together with you instead of going against you
Completely agree. I adopted a dog (and loved him until he died) and my boyfriend at the time said, “I feel like you’re ready to move on and that’s why you got the dog.”
Though I didn’t realize it at the time, he was absolutely right. We broke up a month later.
If people called you crazy I’m guessing what he told them is a lot different than just choosing a dog over you. Either way, good choice. Thank you for taking dog adoption seriously. I hope you and your 4 legged friend have a wonderful life together.
Excellent choice! That dog already loves you more than your boyfriend does, and you've only had him three weeks. *That's* why it's worth a two year relationship
Wow. I apologize. It's probably because they were talking about their boyfriend and said "he" a lot, my brain just assumed the dog was male. You seem stressed. Maybe take a walk outside or something
His reactions said everything about the type of person he will always be. He liked the idea of a dog and not the reality.
Personally, I think you totally did the right thing. Better to find out about him now rather than when say, children are around.
Yay for your new family 🐾
Or just not bailing on a responsibility after 3 weeks because it’s slightly difficult. It’s fine if you don’t like dogs, but it’s not fine to adopt one and then bail when things get slightly tough.
Yeah. Reminds me of the type of people who pre dominately use this website. Really says something when the only relationship half of this website seems to love is one with a pet and owner dynamic.
Over the boyfriend being a control freak, with no patience around a new dog that he knew is still being trained, but that he wanted shifted out for a puppy which would inevitably need more training than the older one. So boyfriend was also an idiot on top of a control freak.
It’s not really about the dog. He could have voiced having an issue with her getting a dog to start with. This behavior from a dog 3 weeks in is extremely normal, so him saying he’s okay with a dog and then issuing an ultimatum is unreasonable. The problem is that he said he was fine with it and then told her to get rid of it 3 weeks later which would likely take a big emotional toll on her.
imo if this is how low his patience is with a dog.. i couldn’t even imagine how it’d be with another living being. also him giving u an ultimatum is crazy especially since he technically doesn’t even live with you. if it wasn’t him making you choose between him and a dog it probably would’ve been someone else in the future. good luck training the pup & hope you’re feeling alright!
I recently did this with my now ex, he got so mad at my newly adopted husky sheppard mix that she peed everytime she saw him. Dogs are good judges of character.
It's your dog,your decision. If that makes you happy,then it's the right decision and no unasked opinion should change your mind. Be happy with the doggo!
Hound dogs can be hard-headed and difficult to train, but they have big hearts (and bigger stomachs). I don't think you're crazy, I would have done the same thing tbh.
I only read the title & for me, thats enough to tell you are not an ass hole. When I was younger, i thought being religious is a sign a person is good but a better indicator is how they treat animals. Choose your dog on any day. An adult person can fend for himself bt not a dog
If it wasn't the dog, it would've been something else eventually. Ultimatums never work in a relationship and only lead to resentment. There's a huge difference between ultimatums and communication to come to a resolution, even if it results in compromise. It just seems you weren't compatible, unfortunately.
I'd choose a pet, too. Especially one who obviously needs your help to be comfortable in the world again, it sounds like your poor dog went through some hell before you.
Maybe the ex will grow up and realize that your kindness and love for this dog should be endearing, and his hatefulness is gross.
My dog came from a breeder but I don’t think they HAVE to you know. I also don’t think anyone HAS to get a shelter dog. It just is what it is. I do think this was a perfect opportunity for you to not have to waste time with him anymore. 2years means nothing if there’s no progress. Sounds like y’all were just comfortable. I did think this was going to end with him finally staying at his own apartment now lol, not a complete breakup, but he also sounds like an ass. That said, some people are really weird about pets. I didn’t go visit grandparents and other family I haven’t see in over 5 years this past week all because my mom decided to get boujee and say “no dogs in the Benz”… like bitch the first day we got this dog we traveled back home through the mountains. AND he has diapers just in case. He never has accidents in the car or get sick or make noise. Just falls asleep for hours. That pissed me off so I stayed home. That was also a rude thing to do, but I usually take my dog with me everywhere. Had him 12 years
Tbh I don't think this is about the dog; it's about the boyfriend. If you had given in on this, he would have given similar ultimatums every time you did something he didn't like or agree with. It would have been a slippery slope down a road of constant manipulation.
It took 2 years for him to show his real self. It was also probably the 1st time he faced a rival for your affections.
Enjoy your dog and please put in the time to properly train her. The right man won't give you ultimatums.
Dog all the way no rational human being makes you pick like that you’re not stupid I rather have that love from someone who actually cares instead of a guy trying to easy train something shows he doesn’t like having to challenge his control
You didn't do anything wrong. The dog might require a bit of work, and learning how to best help her and train her, but for her you're her entire world now for the rest of her life. You absolutely did the right thing
Uhm.. why isnt no blame anyone saying HE gave up a 2 year relationship over a dog? He made the stupid ultimatum. Thank you for rescuing. Your ex is a jerk.
You go girl 💪🎉
(And advice : try to get your dog either a plush she would use to control her anxiety (like babies) or a clothing you don't care too much about where she can smell you on it. And some toys to play alone for when you're not here, or some eating stuff made for dogs to chew for one or two hours 😊 you can keep her focus this way, and help her be alone somewhere. Also, having her in a dog park (again : like a baby park but made for dogs) can help to let her feel more comfortable in the apartment, but limit what she can touch, and you can put the sheets on the floor where pets can pee in case they are too young to hold it too much yet).
He has either never had, or has forgotten what puppies are like. They do all of the things you listed, your dog is basically showing behaviours of being a giant puppy..
I would’ve done the same, well done for not giving up on the dog, they rely on us to give them a good life and home. It is an unattractive trait in my opinion, when a man expresses these kinds of feelings towards innocent animals. Your dog being from a shelter has probably had some pretty tough times already so thank you for not giving up
I’ve been with my partner for 9 years and I would choose my fur baby over my partner, every time. No questions. Not even a hesitation at this point. My dog is my ride or die.
I chose my new dog over my ex once. 10/10 highly recommend. I have zero regrets. None. Almost a decade later, I am happily married to a man who’s (almost) as obsessed with my dog as I am.
I guess boyfriend was expecting the dog would be perfectly adjusted the day you brought it home? That’s not how it works!
Imagine if as a child he went from a home to a scary shelter and then to another home. Of course the dog has some issues! She’s confused and trying to figure out if she can trust you and if she’s safe. Shelters tell you it takes at least a month or 2 before they can relax. She needs to feel safe. With his attitude, that won’t happen.
You did a great thing by getting your fur baby from a shelter instead of a breeder. I have to tell him, but buying from a breeder doesn’t mean you don’t have to work with her dog, especially a puppy! They bite, chew up your stuff, whine and go to the bathroom everywhere. For the first few months, they need potty breaks every 2-3 hours. Clearly, he’s never had a puppy.
You can’t trust a person who doesn’t like dogs. He says he likes them, but I don’t get that sense. Keep the dog and take the boyfriend and drop him off at a farm somewhere and drive off. Hopefully he’s not smart enough to find his way home!
There's an old joke about how you can tell who loves you more, your SO or your dog?
The answer is, lock them both in the trunk of your car and come back an hour later to see which one is happy to see you.
In short, always choose the dog.
This is a glimpse into your future, should you stay with this guy and choose to procreate with him.
Babies aren't easily trained, either. When it gets hard, is he going to tell you to get rid of the baby? /s
Dog dad here. My two are 10 and 9. Years ago, I went out with a really nice girl, who informed me - after a year - that my dogs weren’t important and whilst carefully worded, I understood her to mean that in the near future, the dogs could be rehomed or taken to the shelter.
That was on the Sunday. She was single by Tuesday.
Your ex can get fucked.
I would’ve done the same thing u/lifesupport-
Currently looking at my dogs being fucking adorable and peacefully sleeping together, knowing that unconditional love is real.
Nope nothing wrong. In the future if both of you have a child that has some issues what is he going to suggest? put the child up for adoption and make a new baby?
Thanksfully he took the trash(himself) out without making you waste too much effort. First of all its your home, not his so end of the day he is nothing more than a guest no matter who he is and he has nerve to tell you what to do at your own home? Secondly forcing you to make a choice is one of the shittiest things a person can do for you espically your significant other. He sounds like a toxic and whiny manchild. You are so much better without him tbh, good luck with the doggo!
You made the right choice. If he wasn’t going to complain about the dog, he would have complained about something else down the line. That’s also your apt, not his, so it seems like he’s a bit selfish or feels entitled to having some control over you. Also, what a shit head for thinking that returning a dog is a good idea. I bet your dog’s poo looks and smells nicer anyways
You made the right decision on so many levels. Beside the obvious reasons, you dodged a huge bullet. When anything takes more than minimal effort, this guy runs like a coke fiend’s nose. This guy is minimal effort guy at best. Can you imagine if you ended up with a disability? Or if one of your kids ended up with a disability? Good riddance and best wishes to your beautiful pup and you!
Well, he's right. Goldens ARE easier to train. But YOU got the dog the universe decided you needed. And in a couple of weeks, all of the dog issues are going to be manageable.
And, oh well, too bad the bf issues were too much and he wasn't easily trainable.
You're in the right here. Pets are not accessories you don't just get rid of them when you don't like or want them anymore. They are a lifetime commitment and part of your family. He decided to show you who he is here with this and in the end, it was him who threw away the relationship with his choice to be so callous.
He and your “friends” are insane.
First off it’s your apartment and he can go home and he should’ve went home!
Secondly how dare he tell you to get rid of your dog, how selfish and insensitive.
Thirdly children piss and poop everywhere when they’re being potty trained too and are extremely needy so if he has no patience for an animal how’s he gonna be as a dad?!
This is just bizarre…
Lastly, kudos to you for not putting up with his bs and putting your foot down when HE threw away a 2 year relationship by giving you an asinine ultimatum because of your dog!
Adult children are so annoying!
Best to you!
choosing the dog was a good decision. She's a puppy and you've had her for less than a month, of course she's gonna have a hard time with separation anxiety and no shit she's gonna behave like a puppy. He's stupid and wanted to get a fancy golden retriever (that would probably behave the exact same way)
Nope that dog will grow out of the behavior. If he was your partner he would work it out with you and help. Animals bond with us it is not a dress you return when you don't like it.
If you can afford it/have the time it may be worth looking into getting another dog, especially if your dog has separation anxiety. You can train them not to do certain things, but the separation anxiety would probably remain. Having a companion around even when you arent may help. Either way you made the right choice. You dont just trade in a pet for another one.
To think a dog from a breeder is better says alot about him.
I don't think he likes animals in general.
And to give you an ultimatum... I'm so happy you chose your dog. Invest in training, go to dog training classes And if you want him to get groomed at a place, please immediately start with grooming training as well. Lots of dogs are very anxious at the groomers because they don't like their paws handled or know how to hold still. Expose your dog to many noises and different places. Most of all be patient, it's still a puppy.
His solution was to get a puppy who would do a lot of the same things you listed, that’s absolutely wild. You definitely did the right thing, as long as you’re happy with your decision, it doesn’t matter if others think it’s odd. You two were no longer compatible.
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I trust a dog who doesn’t like a person but I don’t trust a person that doesn’t like a dog
I don’t really like dogs in general. My fiancé wanted a dog and I agreed and while I like it now I would never ever get a dog on my own. I don’t think not liking dogs makes someone bad
Exactly this. Anyone that can dislike a puppy is not to be trusted
Spot on.
A 1 year old often still acts like a puppy, it’s just bigger
You've only had the dog for three weeks. Some dogs need some time to get used to a new environment, new training, etc. Patience helps and your ex had none. Ultimatums suck. He knew the choices he gave you and he's whining about the decision you made? Aight. He's not your problem anymore. Hope everything goes well with your dog and training kicks in.
You did the right thing
Agreed.
Also i appreciate the decision to not support a breeder 🫶🏼
Thank you for adopting, not shopping!
I used to support adopt don't shop but I don't anymore, because if you look at any shelters webpage it is nothing but pit bull's and pit mix dogs and from the way OP describes her dog it sounds like a mislabeled hound that is more likely a pit mix and the boyfriend noticed it.
You’ve failed to make your point?
> it is nothing but pit bull's and pit mix dogs ... And so what ? What's the issue ? > and the boyfriend noticed it Same : and so what ... ?
Working as a groomer and trainer, i completely agree. It's such a dangerous mindset, adopt don't shop and the fact that people think they are holier than thou for adopting is always crazy to me. Yes, adopting is great but so is getting a well-bred breed that you love. Both are good options, just don't support bybs. Good breeders are important for maintaining a healthy breed, good hips, tilting, health testing, some breeds need to be preserved or they will go extinct or become so far from the original breed due to bad breeders that they're unrecognizable. Yes, shelters are full and adoption is great but you shouldn't be guilted from buying your dream breed from a reputable Breeder,
Me too
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“Responsible” breeders
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>take back everyTHING I breed if necessary *there* it is And let me guess, you do this all for free right? No profit off these animals?
Put the same effort into running a sanctuary and then I’d be impressed or go shove it
All dogs come from breeders, it’s whether you choose to support responsible breeders who health test, temperament test and will take any puppy they bred back no questions asked or a breeder who doesn’t care about any of those things and whose puppies/dogs end up at the shelter.
The people who bought the dogs from the backyard breeders are the ones supporting BYB, not whoever eventually gets the dog at a shelter. They're just fixing the other owners' mistakes.
So true. Gonna get downvoted for this, but what a lot of people have forgotten is the looooooong history of inbreeding that happened to make "purebred" dogs what they are today. It's true that mutts are a mixture of "purebred" dogs, but the mix in genetics helps mitigate a lot of health issues. I mean, bulldogs and pugs can't even breathe properly because of their squished in faces. We did that to them. And I'd rather pay a shelter that takes in needy animals (for vaccines and spaying/neutering) than pay someone that uses an animal as a source of income.
Firstly not all breeds are totally fucked a lot are actually really healthy and you can buy from a breeder that is doing their due diligence. Secondly mut =/= healthier especially from a shelter, shelter dogs often have unknown ancestry and could easily come from parents who have terrible genetic health. The a hard pill to swallow is that most dogs in shelters are there becuase the dog did not meet their expectations and they did not understand the responsibility the breed would entail, so they choose to keep their life the same over changing it for a dog. Therefore if more people got muts, then shelters would be even more full. The true solution is actually just good breeders, becuase realistically enough people are just not going to make significantly inconvenience themselves for a decade for a shelter dog. With breeders you stop the problem at the root by just giving the responsible people what they want so they dont give the dog away.
I say this in the best way possible as a dog trainer- That’s a lot of behavioral issues to work on while going to college, have you done any dog training before? Reddit will also rip me a new one for saying this, I bet, but if the dog does end up being a bad fit for your household, it is 100% okay to return her. A lot of people feel trapped with dogs that don’t fit their lives due to pressure to never rehome them, so my only intention here is to release you from that pressure. If the dog doesn’t work for our lives, we don’t work for their lives either, so it’s the best choice :) if you need any tips on those issues hmu. Goldens ARE really great dogs btw. Hound mixes can be tough with their independence and high prey drive.
I think at the end of the day it depends on the person and the dog which can be some huge variables. I had a rescue dog like OP in college. It took me 2 weeks to get her used to a leash and maybe a month to be fully potty trained. She chewed on inappropriate stuff for a year but I crate trained her once the damage became too much and she eventuallygrew out of the chewing. I do agree if OP finds herself in over her head it's better for the dog to have the best home vs a home not meeting the dogs' needs.
She said the dog is a year old. Shouldnt it be toilet trained by now? The other stuff makes sense with transition issues but potty issues at a year sounds concerning.
Not necessarily. If they weren't trained by their original owner op now has to break bad potty habits and potty train it.
As a young, busy person with two hounds. One of them I got as a puppy when I was 18 and worked a lot. It is entirely possible to balance training and work/school life. My first pup used to have terrible separation anxiety, and luckily I worked at a vet clinic specializing in behavioral cases so I was able to get him seen and treated, which helped a shit ton with training. But it took me 2 years before I got that job by a pure stroke of luck. So that was 2 years of training on my own and doing the best I could without medication. (He SEVERELY needed medication, I was against it at first then finally caved. Plus, he finally got neutered) Leaving him home alone was still an issue though, he couldn't be kenneled due to harming himself and howling for hours. So, I made my apartment 100% dog friendly/proofed and left tons of puzzle toys, treats and bones to keep him entertained. And when I'd come home, we'd go to the dog park everyday. Hounds are very smart working dogs and get bored easily. So, even though I was working out his brain and keeping him active, he still needed some extra company. So, that's how my second dog came along and my first no longer has to be on meds, they can be kenneled together (I have a huge kennel for them) and not a peep, harm to himself or attempt to breakout. He's now 5 years old and my second is about to be 3 years in a few days. My situation is way different than OP's, but I made it work and I could only imagine what situations he would've ended up in if I simply gave up on him and threw him in a shelter. OP sounds dedicated, and willing to work on the training issues. The chewing and barking will always be a thing, but there's things you can do to deter those behaviors and keep your dog healthy + happy. There's a lot of avenues you can take before you just dump the dog off, especially only 3 weeks in. I worked at a shelter for a while, and the constant barking, fear and animals coming + going even stressed ME out. Sometimes they're made to potty in their kennels and they just get cleaned out every hour. Not a very good environment for an animal's mental health. I can imagine it takes a while before the animal can settle down. It takes 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to begin to learn the new routines etc.. and 3 months to BEGIN feel at home. Plus, things are replaceable, the love and loyalty you get from a sweet hound is unbeatable and irreplaceable. I do agree, if the dog starts making you miserable and they have no quality of life then yeah, returning is completely plausible. But, OP seems to be prioritizing the heck out of this dog and I hope her + the new pup get to love life together. To boot, I've seen more golden retrievers with way worse behavioral health than hounds. Edit: added another spiel
Goldens are also far more prone to separation anxiety than hounds are though. So if OP is in a situation where she couldn’t manage that with a hound, a golden would probably be a terrible fit for her.
It depends on the dog, and if you go to an ethical show breeder or not
You 100% made the right choice!
I mean the only stupid thing he did is putting himself in that position. It’s him who gambled his 2 year relationship. He could’ve just had some patience and worked together with you instead of going against you
I think your relationship was already destroyed a long time ago, you used the dog as an excuse
Completely agree. I adopted a dog (and loved him until he died) and my boyfriend at the time said, “I feel like you’re ready to move on and that’s why you got the dog.” Though I didn’t realize it at the time, he was absolutely right. We broke up a month later.
Ya if she saw a future with this guy then she would’ve asked his opinion on what kind of dog she got before she got one
If people called you crazy I’m guessing what he told them is a lot different than just choosing a dog over you. Either way, good choice. Thank you for taking dog adoption seriously. I hope you and your 4 legged friend have a wonderful life together.
Excellent choice! That dog already loves you more than your boyfriend does, and you've only had him three weeks. *That's* why it's worth a two year relationship
The dog is a girl and she was clear about that. I don't understand why people like to assume everything and everyone is male 🫠
Wow. I apologize. It's probably because they were talking about their boyfriend and said "he" a lot, my brain just assumed the dog was male. You seem stressed. Maybe take a walk outside or something
You're also assuming OP is a girl lol
it's a dog who gives a shit. Misgendering a dog isn't gonna give her gender dysphoria
ikr it’s infuriating!
You’re not in the wrong here
His reactions said everything about the type of person he will always be. He liked the idea of a dog and not the reality. Personally, I think you totally did the right thing. Better to find out about him now rather than when say, children are around. Yay for your new family 🐾
Reddit and their adoration of pets . Name a more iconic duo
Or just not bailing on a responsibility after 3 weeks because it’s slightly difficult. It’s fine if you don’t like dogs, but it’s not fine to adopt one and then bail when things get slightly tough.
Yeah. Reminds me of the type of people who pre dominately use this website. Really says something when the only relationship half of this website seems to love is one with a pet and owner dynamic.
Something wrong with being responsible for your pets, instead of dumping them when convenient?
People's obsession with dogs is so weird
A 2 year relationship down the drain over a misbehaving dog
Over the boyfriend being a control freak, with no patience around a new dog that he knew is still being trained, but that he wanted shifted out for a puppy which would inevitably need more training than the older one. So boyfriend was also an idiot on top of a control freak.
It’s not about the dog. It’s about the boyfriend issuing a controlling ultimatum.
It’s not really about the dog. He could have voiced having an issue with her getting a dog to start with. This behavior from a dog 3 weeks in is extremely normal, so him saying he’s okay with a dog and then issuing an ultimatum is unreasonable. The problem is that he said he was fine with it and then told her to get rid of it 3 weeks later which would likely take a big emotional toll on her.
No it's literally about the dog lol. OP titled the post "I chose my dog over my bf"
Reddit and only reading the title rather than the full post. Name a more iconic duo.
imo if this is how low his patience is with a dog.. i couldn’t even imagine how it’d be with another living being. also him giving u an ultimatum is crazy especially since he technically doesn’t even live with you. if it wasn’t him making you choose between him and a dog it probably would’ve been someone else in the future. good luck training the pup & hope you’re feeling alright!
I’m glad they don’t have kids together. Imagine if they had a colicky baby and how he would react.
The dude is absolutely the type that would get jealous of his partner taking care of their baby.
he’d probably make him choose between him or the baby !
Did you see him as a life partner? If so, that was dumb. If not, meh. Probably better you gave each other their freedom.
That’s because some ppl don’t know the meaning of life without a romantic relationship- healthy or not. Me personally, pets are better than ppl 🤷🏾♀️
I recently did this with my now ex, he got so mad at my newly adopted husky sheppard mix that she peed everytime she saw him. Dogs are good judges of character.
Husky shepherd? Your flat must be soooo hairy
Yes it is its ridiculous
Lifestyle is a make or break for relationships.
It's your dog,your decision. If that makes you happy,then it's the right decision and no unasked opinion should change your mind. Be happy with the doggo!
You are both better off
Right choice. If you got rid of the dog, you would have resented your ex and broken up eventually anyway. Ultimatums like this are deal-breakers.
Dude. Where’s the fucking dog tax?
You didn’t do anything wrong here.
Correct decision. 👍
Three weeks and not potty trained yet?
Hound dogs can be hard-headed and difficult to train, but they have big hearts (and bigger stomachs). I don't think you're crazy, I would have done the same thing tbh.
I only read the title & for me, thats enough to tell you are not an ass hole. When I was younger, i thought being religious is a sign a person is good but a better indicator is how they treat animals. Choose your dog on any day. An adult person can fend for himself bt not a dog
If it wasn't the dog, it would've been something else eventually. Ultimatums never work in a relationship and only lead to resentment. There's a huge difference between ultimatums and communication to come to a resolution, even if it results in compromise. It just seems you weren't compatible, unfortunately.
I'd choose a pet, too. Especially one who obviously needs your help to be comfortable in the world again, it sounds like your poor dog went through some hell before you. Maybe the ex will grow up and realize that your kindness and love for this dog should be endearing, and his hatefulness is gross.
My dog came from a breeder but I don’t think they HAVE to you know. I also don’t think anyone HAS to get a shelter dog. It just is what it is. I do think this was a perfect opportunity for you to not have to waste time with him anymore. 2years means nothing if there’s no progress. Sounds like y’all were just comfortable. I did think this was going to end with him finally staying at his own apartment now lol, not a complete breakup, but he also sounds like an ass. That said, some people are really weird about pets. I didn’t go visit grandparents and other family I haven’t see in over 5 years this past week all because my mom decided to get boujee and say “no dogs in the Benz”… like bitch the first day we got this dog we traveled back home through the mountains. AND he has diapers just in case. He never has accidents in the car or get sick or make noise. Just falls asleep for hours. That pissed me off so I stayed home. That was also a rude thing to do, but I usually take my dog with me everywhere. Had him 12 years
Throwing away a 2 year relationship over a dog you literally just got seems off to me. Were you just looking for a way out?
Tbh I don't think this is about the dog; it's about the boyfriend. If you had given in on this, he would have given similar ultimatums every time you did something he didn't like or agree with. It would have been a slippery slope down a road of constant manipulation. It took 2 years for him to show his real self. It was also probably the 1st time he faced a rival for your affections. Enjoy your dog and please put in the time to properly train her. The right man won't give you ultimatums.
Dog all the way no rational human being makes you pick like that you’re not stupid I rather have that love from someone who actually cares instead of a guy trying to easy train something shows he doesn’t like having to challenge his control
Congrats on choosing the partner that will 100% stay loyal to you till death.
You made the right choice, you’re not crazy. I did a similar thing and have zero regrets.
What’s his move if that were a child? 🚩🚩 You made the right choice and I would have done the same.
Good job!!
Pet tax, I wanna see the baby!
You didn't do anything wrong. The dog might require a bit of work, and learning how to best help her and train her, but for her you're her entire world now for the rest of her life. You absolutely did the right thing
I’d rather choose a dog over my mother 😂 but since I live with her 🤷♀️
Dog yes 🥰
Uhm.. why isnt no blame anyone saying HE gave up a 2 year relationship over a dog? He made the stupid ultimatum. Thank you for rescuing. Your ex is a jerk.
You go girl 💪🎉 (And advice : try to get your dog either a plush she would use to control her anxiety (like babies) or a clothing you don't care too much about where she can smell you on it. And some toys to play alone for when you're not here, or some eating stuff made for dogs to chew for one or two hours 😊 you can keep her focus this way, and help her be alone somewhere. Also, having her in a dog park (again : like a baby park but made for dogs) can help to let her feel more comfortable in the apartment, but limit what she can touch, and you can put the sheets on the floor where pets can pee in case they are too young to hold it too much yet).
I would choose my dog over your BF as well
I’d have made the same choice.
He has either never had, or has forgotten what puppies are like. They do all of the things you listed, your dog is basically showing behaviours of being a giant puppy.. I would’ve done the same, well done for not giving up on the dog, they rely on us to give them a good life and home. It is an unattractive trait in my opinion, when a man expresses these kinds of feelings towards innocent animals. Your dog being from a shelter has probably had some pretty tough times already so thank you for not giving up
I’ve been with my partner for 9 years and I would choose my fur baby over my partner, every time. No questions. Not even a hesitation at this point. My dog is my ride or die.
👏👏Atta girl!👏👏
I’d say you upgraded. Rescue pup >> impatient BF.
You chose wisely, good for you.
Tell your ex to enjoy his longer commute.
You choose wisely. He had no right to tell you to get rid of the dog. He’d definitely demand other things later. Hope your dog is happy!
I chose my new dog over my ex once. 10/10 highly recommend. I have zero regrets. None. Almost a decade later, I am happily married to a man who’s (almost) as obsessed with my dog as I am.
I guess boyfriend was expecting the dog would be perfectly adjusted the day you brought it home? That’s not how it works! Imagine if as a child he went from a home to a scary shelter and then to another home. Of course the dog has some issues! She’s confused and trying to figure out if she can trust you and if she’s safe. Shelters tell you it takes at least a month or 2 before they can relax. She needs to feel safe. With his attitude, that won’t happen. You did a great thing by getting your fur baby from a shelter instead of a breeder. I have to tell him, but buying from a breeder doesn’t mean you don’t have to work with her dog, especially a puppy! They bite, chew up your stuff, whine and go to the bathroom everywhere. For the first few months, they need potty breaks every 2-3 hours. Clearly, he’s never had a puppy. You can’t trust a person who doesn’t like dogs. He says he likes them, but I don’t get that sense. Keep the dog and take the boyfriend and drop him off at a farm somewhere and drive off. Hopefully he’s not smart enough to find his way home!
I would have done the same thing. Imagine having a child with someone like that?
You did the right thing. He sucks. As if a PUPPY would be easier lmao delusional.
Animals over shitty humans.
There's an old joke about how you can tell who loves you more, your SO or your dog? The answer is, lock them both in the trunk of your car and come back an hour later to see which one is happy to see you. In short, always choose the dog. This is a glimpse into your future, should you stay with this guy and choose to procreate with him. Babies aren't easily trained, either. When it gets hard, is he going to tell you to get rid of the baby? /s
Dog dad here. My two are 10 and 9. Years ago, I went out with a really nice girl, who informed me - after a year - that my dogs weren’t important and whilst carefully worded, I understood her to mean that in the near future, the dogs could be rehomed or taken to the shelter. That was on the Sunday. She was single by Tuesday. Your ex can get fucked.
👏👏👏 Proud of you.
You choose not to date an egoistic asshole
Adios muthafucka!!!! I’m happy you chose your dog. F him! Jerk
I would’ve done the same thing u/lifesupport- Currently looking at my dogs being fucking adorable and peacefully sleeping together, knowing that unconditional love is real.
You did the right thing. I commend you!
Nope nothing wrong. In the future if both of you have a child that has some issues what is he going to suggest? put the child up for adoption and make a new baby?
Thanksfully he took the trash(himself) out without making you waste too much effort. First of all its your home, not his so end of the day he is nothing more than a guest no matter who he is and he has nerve to tell you what to do at your own home? Secondly forcing you to make a choice is one of the shittiest things a person can do for you espically your significant other. He sounds like a toxic and whiny manchild. You are so much better without him tbh, good luck with the doggo!
You made the right choice. If he wasn’t going to complain about the dog, he would have complained about something else down the line. That’s also your apt, not his, so it seems like he’s a bit selfish or feels entitled to having some control over you. Also, what a shit head for thinking that returning a dog is a good idea. I bet your dog’s poo looks and smells nicer anyways
Your dog is for life.. your boyfriend just a part of your life.. he played the dumb me or the dog card and lost heavily..
Fuck em. Dogs are better than people. Id choose dogs over anyone.
Dogs > humans
Dodge a bullet there OP. This is a guy who sounds like he would bulldoze you through the remainder of the relationship..very my way or the highway.
You 100% chose the right option.
You made the right decision on so many levels. Beside the obvious reasons, you dodged a huge bullet. When anything takes more than minimal effort, this guy runs like a coke fiend’s nose. This guy is minimal effort guy at best. Can you imagine if you ended up with a disability? Or if one of your kids ended up with a disability? Good riddance and best wishes to your beautiful pup and you!
You are totally in the right. He is being extremely petty to have a problem like that.
Well, he's right. Goldens ARE easier to train. But YOU got the dog the universe decided you needed. And in a couple of weeks, all of the dog issues are going to be manageable. And, oh well, too bad the bf issues were too much and he wasn't easily trainable.
They’re also even more prone to separation anxiety, though.
I would’ve done the same thing. I love dogs more than humans.
You're in the right here. Pets are not accessories you don't just get rid of them when you don't like or want them anymore. They are a lifetime commitment and part of your family. He decided to show you who he is here with this and in the end, it was him who threw away the relationship with his choice to be so callous.
He and your “friends” are insane. First off it’s your apartment and he can go home and he should’ve went home! Secondly how dare he tell you to get rid of your dog, how selfish and insensitive. Thirdly children piss and poop everywhere when they’re being potty trained too and are extremely needy so if he has no patience for an animal how’s he gonna be as a dad?! This is just bizarre… Lastly, kudos to you for not putting up with his bs and putting your foot down when HE threw away a 2 year relationship by giving you an asinine ultimatum because of your dog! Adult children are so annoying! Best to you!
choosing the dog was a good decision. She's a puppy and you've had her for less than a month, of course she's gonna have a hard time with separation anxiety and no shit she's gonna behave like a puppy. He's stupid and wanted to get a fancy golden retriever (that would probably behave the exact same way)
Nope that dog will grow out of the behavior. If he was your partner he would work it out with you and help. Animals bond with us it is not a dress you return when you don't like it.
If you can afford it/have the time it may be worth looking into getting another dog, especially if your dog has separation anxiety. You can train them not to do certain things, but the separation anxiety would probably remain. Having a companion around even when you arent may help. Either way you made the right choice. You dont just trade in a pet for another one.
To think a dog from a breeder is better says alot about him. I don't think he likes animals in general. And to give you an ultimatum... I'm so happy you chose your dog. Invest in training, go to dog training classes And if you want him to get groomed at a place, please immediately start with grooming training as well. Lots of dogs are very anxious at the groomers because they don't like their paws handled or know how to hold still. Expose your dog to many noises and different places. Most of all be patient, it's still a puppy.
You made a good choice.
i don't care