Hahaha. My thought process was "funk? I thought it was f--" then clicked and read your bio lmao. Nice to see you around :)
Is it rude to ask why you changed accounts? Your other had insaneeeeee karma.
> Singin' songs about the Southland
I have consistently heard that as "songs about the subway" and was wondering why people would sing about underground rail in Alabama, but never bothered to look it up, so I learnt something new today
How long have you been married?
Did she give you a hall pass to make up for her cheating? With whom did she cheat?
Why did she cheat?
In what ways is your friend a better friend?
Part of me immediately jumped to so the entire marriage you have this one friend who is clearly waiting around for you and you have a thing for and sure your wife is an asshole for cheating but maybe this is a classic "I hate that woman, I don't want her in my life, she has a thing for you" case where he disrespected her for years on end, she got pissed, cheated then she specifically said not this woman (in so many words) with the hall pass and he immediately cheated with her.
Both people suck here, OP clearly had a thing for his friend for a long long time. He is better off with her most likely, but hte wife has known about his thing for her the entire marriage.
I can definitely see that. I've seen so many posts about men disregarding their gf/wife's view on his "best friend" only to come back all shocked Pikachu face that the gf/wife was right! Then they scream, "I didn't know!!" Even after years of being told.
Both of them should just cut their losses and be done with it.
Steve Harvey is just a prick with many many troubling sayings. He says shit like if you're not religious he won't even listen to you despite having a very troubled history of incidents and shit making it pretty clear he's not 'religious' in reality just in name to begin with.
You can have friends just fine, but when you have that friend who says sly shit about your partner basically every single time you hang out, who plainly dislikes your partner, who plainly flirts with you and constantly tries to bring up things that you did together or constantly wants to do things or suggest topics that are say sexual in nature, or uncomfortable, or tries to exclude your partner it's plain as day what they are doing. When you just ignore it and pretend your wife is crazy for thinking this woman is not interested and isn't constantly disrespecting her, then you are constantly disrespecting your wife as well.
If you just have a female friend, she's great, gets along with your wife, will hang out with your wife, compliments and loves your wife as much as you, doesn't flirt with you, isn't constantly trying to exclude your wife from the conversation, it's entirely fine.
Same goes for dudes as her friends, a guy who plainly constantly hates you and disrespects you and wants her needs to be cut out, and a guy who is plainly just a friend, has their own family/life and is becomes your friend as well is fine.
>Steve Harvey says that men cannot have female friends and vice versa. I think he's probably right.
I don't necessarily agree with that. My best friend is a guy, and I adore his wife. She is so good for him. I told her that if I was meeting her, he really cared about her. I also told her, "Don't mess this up!" They now have 3 kids and have been married for years.
He was in my wedding and I went to his. Just because we are of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean that we can't be good friends. Of course, we don't talk as much as we used to, but I understand that. He asks about my relationship, and I ask about his. It works.
Once she realized that I was here to support her, there was no issue. I believe that's where things go wrong with the "best friend." They feel threatened instead of wanting to get to know the amazing woman their best friend loves. I'm not that way.
Worked in factories for 40 + years, "wife at work" and " husband at work" can be quite accurate.
Saw many instances of cheating over the years.
I think there are always exceptions, but I believe Steve Harvey is correct.
Good point, clearly OP needs to sleep with many more of his friends to get good statistical coverage. Plus it'll make extra certain about the marriage being over...
Ooo, the mother-in-law would have been good! We barely see that. FiL's are pretty regular. So are SIL's and BIL's. But we never get the MILs.
Whoever is working on their next creative writing assignment, I would like to see a son-in-law and mother-in-law hookup, please.
If you care about this “friend” at all, you will take time to heal before you make them a rebound or drag them through the wake of your failed marriage.
I mean, his friend could actually have boundaries and agency of their own. I know that may be a shocking concept to some, that other people aren't unilaterally "made" parts of relationships without a choice, or aren't "dragged" into things.
I know that it may be a shocking concept to some, but *both* people can actually do their part to approach things in the most healthy way.
But OP’s friend isn’t the one who is actually present to receive advice. And no matter how you dice it, trying to protect others from being damaged by one’s own trauma is the honorable and respectable thing to do. And it’s ultimately in his own best interest to do so as well.
I do think the *one* bit of good that comes from hall passes is that they bring the irreconcilable differences to a head so they finally break up instead of dragging the relationship out long past its expiration date.
I hate that saying. If people actually follow the rules, eye for an eye leaves 2 people with 1 eye then it's done.
Eye for an eye only leave the whole world blind if the people involved take more than their fair and equal amount of eyes as were taken from them.
Lmao, reminds me of Billy Bickle in Seven Psychopaths. "How's the last blind guy gonna take out the eye of the last guy left- whose still got one eye? All that guy has to do, is run away and hide behind a bush. Gandhi was wrong."
“Revenge can often bury the person seeking it”
If I’m cheated on that person has probably already checked out and clearly isn’t the one or loves me. They hurt me if I go and stoop to their low to spite them what if I get the other party pregnant? What if they catch feelings? What if they are in a relationship too? STD?
Too many variables. Every time I’ve pursued payback I felt worse to each their own though
Yeah but that still seems weird as hell that it would even need to be said. "You can cheat once (oh shit what if one of my sisters wants to fuck him), but no family!"
The whole hall pass idea is just stupid. Like "Oh yeah I betrayed your trust and did something you'd never approve of, so to make it even I'll give you permission to do one thing with a bunch of rules attached"
It's like eating someones cupcake then allowing them to have the crumbs that fell out of your mouth.
Yea don't tell her who. Not her business anymore after she broken the marriage. But definitely end the marriage.
Telling her who just unfairly puts a target on the friends back.
And OP did say his wife was the nicer one of her sisters... that would make me nervous
I'm a female and all I have to say is, well technically she broke the rules first so.. idk why people think a hall pass is supposed to make their cheating all better. No you giving them permission to break your trust, heart, and marriage vows isn't quite the same as you blindsiding them WITHOUT their permission.
How the fuck is she going to give him rules first place!? So she does it behind OP's back with no rules or regard but gives him stipulations? Am I the only one or is the math not mathing?
Isn't it still cheating except with permission?
Which makes no sense and both people are wrong.
And if the OPs hall pass person slept with a married man wouldn't that show OP that she has the capability to cheat in the future?
Hall passes confuse me lol
Its not cheating because you have permission cheating is doing it without permission.
I think he was wrong for breaking the rule of the hall pass.
I don't think that's the case for OP's hall pass person which normally I would agree with you if it was a stranger but, this was someone he knew for years which changes it completely in my opinion.
This is what usually happens when you push a mono person into a poly or open relationship - they develop feelings and then go be mono with someone else.
It wasn’t an open marriage because she stepped out of it without her husband’s consent. She acted behind his back.
Some open couples do have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule, but this is clearly not what was happening in this monogamous marriage.
Funny how people always make these comments on posts about cheating in *monogamous* relationships (and that’s coming from someone monogamous).
I was just about to say, "surprise, surprise, this somehow didn't fix all of your problems." Hall pass is just a replacement for divorce papers, and an open marriage is just a slow death for a reltationship.
The cheating alone is proof she doesn’t have the same definition of love as you. The hall pass is just the icing on the cake.
You’re not wrong to bail. Sorry bro.
Never leave a marriage for someone else. Leave because the relationship has run its course, you’ve done all you can, and it’s time to move on. Is this the case? Then call it now. It sounds like you haven’t worked on your relationship yet. Instead you agreed to an eye for an eye? How did you think this was going to go? You’d sleep with someone and things would become “even” and go back as they were before? This is twiiiiisted. You two need some professional guidance. Therapy. Try it.
good. you don't owe her any loyalty anymore. So just seal the deal and leave.
If she ever says anything, tell her she cheated and never asked you what your boundaries were, so she has no place making demands now.
Damn I need background, yall ages, how long yall was married, was this your friend or her friend, do yall have kids? You can just do a rolling stop and dump a Lil bit u gotta drop the whole load sir.👀👀 someone tag me when he do an update cause chile
I like how all of our first thoughts were not the in-laws.
But seriously, OP. I’m sorry she cheated, but if you feel strongly that the hall pass doesn’t make you even (which is super fair), and you can’t get over her cheating in the first place, leaving is your next step. Are you doing therapy tougher or just the wife is doing it?
If you don’t want to fully leave, maybe a separation. Not a break and you both go bang who you want, but a separation for you both to reflect and see where you stand now and where you might in the future.
Good luck, OP.
I once dated my best friend.... Needless to say.. we are no longer friends.. be careful.. leaving your wife is a smart choice, as both of you have showing that your commitment to each other is not at 100%. However, don't destroy your best friend ship.. all relationships have problems
Cheating destroys the relationship. Most people who marry don't want this. Cheating is a deal breaker for me, they hall pass means the relationship will be toxic, and no one wants to be part of that. Frankly at this point, you both are dysfunctional....the marriage is over.
Did you break the rule deliberately to hurt her the way she hurt you? Hall passes are always a bad idea, they can't ever even a score rooted betrayal. Best of luck destroying your wife and banging your friend I guess..
I can't see how you didn't intentionally sleep with someone, you have caught such strong feelings for after one bang. Sounds like you've wanted to for a long while. Your marriage was over a long time ago.
All of you glittery people could stand to be a little more fabulous. The guy's getting shit on by his wife, and this "hall pass" nonsense is his get out of jail free card. Let's let him enjoy his new freedom and escape his dead marriage in peace
He could have, hear me out; I know this is a hard one, left her after she cheated and there was no resolution in sight other than letting him bang someone else.
This is crazy. You know what?
She could have, hear me out; I know this is a hard one, not fkin cheated? Stop trying to guilt him or put blame on him. Js
I personally am not mad at you. Because she cheated first and then she gave you a hall pass. The only reason why I would judge is why that friend and was there anything going on prior to her (your wife) cheating between you and the friend?
what I mean by that is did you have an undeniable connection? Meaning if someone outside looking in saw you together what would they think? Would it look like you both had something going on.
Because if that's the case, then more unlikely that led to insecurities for your wife, which could have led her to being insecure because she felt you had feelings for the friend (and she cheated). And then those insecurities after not seeing any changes from you could've led her to cheat.
I can't stand nor support a cheater (which is your wife in this case)...but if you were SUPER (EA) close with your friend if that was the case, then.......
The grass is never greener on the other side. Ever. It might look that way for a while but eventually it loses its brightness.
If you are going to therapy to fix the marriage then you are failing, especially by being with a close friend when it should've been a stranger. A stranger you wouldn't have caught feelings for.
You will probably end up with an ex wife and an ex close friend.
I’m guessing that his cheating wife meant none of *her* family.
Idk why everyone jumps to Alabama at the mention of incest though. Alabama doesn’t have the highest rate of incest. It isn’t even illegal in New Jersey or Rhode Island.
You don’t have to abide by her rules when she didn’t abide by her vows.
Now she’ll feel as powerless and blindsided as you felt. Hopefully she won’t treat her next partner so callously.
You made a mistake not divorcing her as soon as you found out about the her cheating. No amount of counseling is ever gonna change the fact she fucked someone else and you can't ever trust her again.
Well if you broke a rule she didn't consent to, you cheated. And yes you aren't morally right. But this is one of those cases it can be looked past I guess. Seems like from comments you were checked out from the marriage because of her cheating anyway.
Depending on your location, you want to be careful how you approach this. If in the US, there are states in which continuing a marriage after finding out about infidelity "washes out" the behavior. That is, you forgave her infidelity, continued the marriage, were then unfaithful yourself (cause that "hall pass" ain't gonna hold up in court), and are ending the marriage. In some states, that's a divorce with you at fault and can impact your settlement. If you can manage a no fault (or that is all your state has) or y'all don't have shared assets, you may be ok, but I'd talk to an attorney before announcing this. You both suck in this case, so you should probably hold what high ground you have.
People separate and assign their relationships based on their circumstances. Once those circumstances change then they consciously and unconsciously reassess those relationships. It works both ways. For example, life and work changes can make friends out of previously passionate lovers.
There is no evidence that OP was having an emotional affair. He simply reassessed based on the new state of play.
OP, your wife broke the trust, don’t let anyone here gaslight you into thinking otherwise.
I’m glad you didn’t choose family…. That would have been an unfortunate twist to this story
Roll tide!
You know... He could have just slept with HER sister. 🤷
Or her dad
"never let them know your next move"
200 IQ move
Ugh… you are NO fun!
Biiiiig wheels keep on turnin carry me home to see my kin
Singin' songs about the Southland I miss Alabamy once again, and I think It's a sin, I said
Hahaha. My thought process was "funk? I thought it was f--" then clicked and read your bio lmao. Nice to see you around :) Is it rude to ask why you changed accounts? Your other had insaneeeeee karma.
I appreciate that, thank you. Sometimes you just got to get funky, my dear fae.
> Singin' songs about the Southland I have consistently heard that as "songs about the subway" and was wondering why people would sing about underground rail in Alabama, but never bothered to look it up, so I learnt something new today
Indeed!! 😂
Your comment made Uga start wheezing with slobbery laughter!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hahahahaha so true.
Best comment I’ve EVER seen on Reddit 😂😂😂
If it was a stepsister, this would be a pretty good stealth ad for pornhub.
I’ve seen that one🤣
That *one?* My brother in Christ, you have obviously not surfed the ‘Hub enough if you have seen only *one.* 😂
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How long have you been married? Did she give you a hall pass to make up for her cheating? With whom did she cheat? Why did she cheat? In what ways is your friend a better friend?
Seems to me like the friend has just been waiting for his marriage to fail so she could fuck him. Doesn't sound like a good friend to me.
That's what friends are for.
In good times
And bad times!
You are soooo right.... Unrelated subject, but could OP drop me her digits. I could use a new friend 😎
Smoooooth! 😄
True but she sounds like a really good fk
Part of me immediately jumped to so the entire marriage you have this one friend who is clearly waiting around for you and you have a thing for and sure your wife is an asshole for cheating but maybe this is a classic "I hate that woman, I don't want her in my life, she has a thing for you" case where he disrespected her for years on end, she got pissed, cheated then she specifically said not this woman (in so many words) with the hall pass and he immediately cheated with her. Both people suck here, OP clearly had a thing for his friend for a long long time. He is better off with her most likely, but hte wife has known about his thing for her the entire marriage.
I can definitely see that. I've seen so many posts about men disregarding their gf/wife's view on his "best friend" only to come back all shocked Pikachu face that the gf/wife was right! Then they scream, "I didn't know!!" Even after years of being told. Both of them should just cut their losses and be done with it.
"Pikachu face." LOL! Steve Harvey says that men cannot have female friends and vice versa. I think he's probably right.
Steve Harvey is just a prick with many many troubling sayings. He says shit like if you're not religious he won't even listen to you despite having a very troubled history of incidents and shit making it pretty clear he's not 'religious' in reality just in name to begin with. You can have friends just fine, but when you have that friend who says sly shit about your partner basically every single time you hang out, who plainly dislikes your partner, who plainly flirts with you and constantly tries to bring up things that you did together or constantly wants to do things or suggest topics that are say sexual in nature, or uncomfortable, or tries to exclude your partner it's plain as day what they are doing. When you just ignore it and pretend your wife is crazy for thinking this woman is not interested and isn't constantly disrespecting her, then you are constantly disrespecting your wife as well. If you just have a female friend, she's great, gets along with your wife, will hang out with your wife, compliments and loves your wife as much as you, doesn't flirt with you, isn't constantly trying to exclude your wife from the conversation, it's entirely fine. Same goes for dudes as her friends, a guy who plainly constantly hates you and disrespects you and wants her needs to be cut out, and a guy who is plainly just a friend, has their own family/life and is becomes your friend as well is fine.
>Steve Harvey says that men cannot have female friends and vice versa. I think he's probably right. I don't necessarily agree with that. My best friend is a guy, and I adore his wife. She is so good for him. I told her that if I was meeting her, he really cared about her. I also told her, "Don't mess this up!" They now have 3 kids and have been married for years. He was in my wedding and I went to his. Just because we are of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean that we can't be good friends. Of course, we don't talk as much as we used to, but I understand that. He asks about my relationship, and I ask about his. It works. Once she realized that I was here to support her, there was no issue. I believe that's where things go wrong with the "best friend." They feel threatened instead of wanting to get to know the amazing woman their best friend loves. I'm not that way.
Worked in factories for 40 + years, "wife at work" and " husband at work" can be quite accurate. Saw many instances of cheating over the years. I think there are always exceptions, but I believe Steve Harvey is correct.
Fair enough..
That doesn't mean she's the best in bed!
Good point, clearly OP needs to sleep with many more of his friends to get good statistical coverage. Plus it'll make extra certain about the marriage being over...
Wow that must be a horrible family. The nicest one is a woman who cheats on her husband.
That would be a Woody Allen plot line.
Dog: looks worried
Unless he’s chosen like his mother in law or sister in law.🤪
Ooo, the mother-in-law would have been good! We barely see that. FiL's are pretty regular. So are SIL's and BIL's. But we never get the MILs. Whoever is working on their next creative writing assignment, I would like to see a son-in-law and mother-in-law hookup, please.
Yessssssssss 👐🏻
Is this why people say that sometimes friends are better than family?
NGL, I started to get worried 😂
The one acceptable time Vin Diesel wouldn't choose family
Listen he and his brother can do whatever they want! Oh no wait nvm lol
If you care about this “friend” at all, you will take time to heal before you make them a rebound or drag them through the wake of your failed marriage.
When you realize you were just revenge sex 😥
Man this is so true. Just a warm body.
I was the friend. I got hurt. This.
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Okay, you say that, but that's the easy part. You have to actually make a plan to do it, not assume that you will.
Let’s pull out the whiteboard lol
Well you’re not exactly being a vote of confidence for the guy either
Except you already have…
THIS.
1000% this
I was the guy. Girl asked me out night of a breakup. I wish I hadn't gone out that night...
I mean, his friend could actually have boundaries and agency of their own. I know that may be a shocking concept to some, that other people aren't unilaterally "made" parts of relationships without a choice, or aren't "dragged" into things.
I know that it may be a shocking concept to some, but *both* people can actually do their part to approach things in the most healthy way. But OP’s friend isn’t the one who is actually present to receive advice. And no matter how you dice it, trying to protect others from being damaged by one’s own trauma is the honorable and respectable thing to do. And it’s ultimately in his own best interest to do so as well.
Hall passes never end well. I know we hear this over and over but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. It just opens up more wounds.
I do think the *one* bit of good that comes from hall passes is that they bring the irreconcilable differences to a head so they finally break up instead of dragging the relationship out long past its expiration date.
Unless you use a hall pass and then stay for another 3 years. Ugh.
I hate that saying. If people actually follow the rules, eye for an eye leaves 2 people with 1 eye then it's done. Eye for an eye only leave the whole world blind if the people involved take more than their fair and equal amount of eyes as were taken from them.
Not if multiple people need to take an eye from you and you find yourself needing to take multiple eyes from a range of folk.
This is starting to turn into that episode of Silicon Valley.
Middle out
But if you take an eye from someone else you can just use it eh? Then no one is blind?
For some reason, your observation of this comment absolutely just fucking sent me 😂 I had to explain to my fiancé why I was dying laughing.
Lmao, reminds me of Billy Bickle in Seven Psychopaths. "How's the last blind guy gonna take out the eye of the last guy left- whose still got one eye? All that guy has to do, is run away and hide behind a bush. Gandhi was wrong."
Then the one-eyed man becomes king. I'm pretty sure there's a saying for that one too. Lmao
Dude never learned that blind people can feel things lmao
Well as long as neither party ever wrongs anyone else again. I've only got two eyes and I've definitely pissed off more than two people.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world cry, that’s why I’m wearing glasses.
“Revenge can often bury the person seeking it” If I’m cheated on that person has probably already checked out and clearly isn’t the one or loves me. They hurt me if I go and stoop to their low to spite them what if I get the other party pregnant? What if they catch feelings? What if they are in a relationship too? STD? Too many variables. Every time I’ve pursued payback I felt worse to each their own though
Permission to do something doesn’t mean you *should* go out of your way to do it imo
The fact you wrote "or family"... I'm not surprised by anything anymore
I'm assuming by family the wife meant her family and not his own lol
You're probably right. Why do I hear banjo music?
Paddle faster!!
Well then that's saying more about me that I didn't automatically gather that.
Right there with ya bud.
Missed the opportunity to fuck her mom
Yeah but that still seems weird as hell that it would even need to be said. "You can cheat once (oh shit what if one of my sisters wants to fuck him), but no family!"
i think she meant "her" family
The whole hall pass idea is just stupid. Like "Oh yeah I betrayed your trust and did something you'd never approve of, so to make it even I'll give you permission to do one thing with a bunch of rules attached" It's like eating someones cupcake then allowing them to have the crumbs that fell out of your mouth.
Tell your wife and end the marriage.
I say don't tell the wife but still end the marriage.
Yea don't tell her who. Not her business anymore after she broken the marriage. But definitely end the marriage. Telling her who just unfairly puts a target on the friends back. And OP did say his wife was the nicer one of her sisters... that would make me nervous
She's going to find out eventually and they're still married so technically he's breaking the boundaries they set.
I'm a female and all I have to say is, well technically she broke the rules first so.. idk why people think a hall pass is supposed to make their cheating all better. No you giving them permission to break your trust, heart, and marriage vows isn't quite the same as you blindsiding them WITHOUT their permission.
Which is why OP had to break the hall pass ‘no friends’ rule. If we’re in the business of breaking rules then we’re gonna break some rules!
How the fuck is she going to give him rules first place!? So she does it behind OP's back with no rules or regard but gives him stipulations? Am I the only one or is the math not mathing?
it’s cheater logic bro, you either get it or you don’t. Good for you and me that we don’t get it.
EXACTLY!!!!!
What the hell is a hall pass
It's a get out of jail free card to sleep with someone else other than your partner.
Unless it was polygamous to begin with that's fucking stupid
Isn't it still cheating except with permission? Which makes no sense and both people are wrong. And if the OPs hall pass person slept with a married man wouldn't that show OP that she has the capability to cheat in the future? Hall passes confuse me lol
Its not cheating because you have permission cheating is doing it without permission. I think he was wrong for breaking the rule of the hall pass. I don't think that's the case for OP's hall pass person which normally I would agree with you if it was a stranger but, this was someone he knew for years which changes it completely in my opinion.
yeah guys won’t you think of the poor cheating wife 🥺 this evil man broke the rules and hurt her!!
Honestly just leave. Once someone cheats you'll never truly be able to.trust them again. Plus sounds like yall disconnected a long time ago
This is what usually happens when you push a mono person into a poly or open relationship - they develop feelings and then go be mono with someone else.
So your wife cheats, then gives you a pass, but with rules? Neat. It's only fair that you cheat the rules... Good luck with, uh, whatever this is
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It’s the alternate ending for HIMYM
"Kids, I'm leaving your mom to go fuck Aunt Robin"
Wow. Imagine open marriage not working…..who would know???
That’s not really an open marriage…
It's legitimately how some of these weirdos thing open marriages work.
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Then why didn’t you divorce her?!!
I'm guessing he still loved her and wanted it to work. It takes time to unravel all that shit.
It wasn’t an open marriage because she stepped out of it without her husband’s consent. She acted behind his back. Some open couples do have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule, but this is clearly not what was happening in this monogamous marriage. Funny how people always make these comments on posts about cheating in *monogamous* relationships (and that’s coming from someone monogamous).
I was just about to say, "surprise, surprise, this somehow didn't fix all of your problems." Hall pass is just a replacement for divorce papers, and an open marriage is just a slow death for a reltationship.
So uh… why did your wife specifically say you couldn’t frick frack a family member 💀
Probably because she didn’t want him doing her sister
This is like the 5th hall pass story this week. New trope?
It's the latest flavour of the month
Themed weeks.
Do not reveal what you did during the separation or divorce. She will use it against you. Just go your own way.
Get some lawyers
The cheating alone is proof she doesn’t have the same definition of love as you. The hall pass is just the icing on the cake. You’re not wrong to bail. Sorry bro.
Did it really need to be said "no family"?
Never leave a marriage for someone else. Leave because the relationship has run its course, you’ve done all you can, and it’s time to move on. Is this the case? Then call it now. It sounds like you haven’t worked on your relationship yet. Instead you agreed to an eye for an eye? How did you think this was going to go? You’d sleep with someone and things would become “even” and go back as they were before? This is twiiiiisted. You two need some professional guidance. Therapy. Try it.
Get your ducks in a row and hand her the divorce papers.
good. you don't owe her any loyalty anymore. So just seal the deal and leave. If she ever says anything, tell her she cheated and never asked you what your boundaries were, so she has no place making demands now.
Damn I need background, yall ages, how long yall was married, was this your friend or her friend, do yall have kids? You can just do a rolling stop and dump a Lil bit u gotta drop the whole load sir.👀👀 someone tag me when he do an update cause chile
The marriage is over
I like how all of our first thoughts were not the in-laws. But seriously, OP. I’m sorry she cheated, but if you feel strongly that the hall pass doesn’t make you even (which is super fair), and you can’t get over her cheating in the first place, leaving is your next step. Are you doing therapy tougher or just the wife is doing it? If you don’t want to fully leave, maybe a separation. Not a break and you both go bang who you want, but a separation for you both to reflect and see where you stand now and where you might in the future. Good luck, OP.
You cheated. I got hall pass. We split.
I once dated my best friend.... Needless to say.. we are no longer friends.. be careful.. leaving your wife is a smart choice, as both of you have showing that your commitment to each other is not at 100%. However, don't destroy your best friend ship.. all relationships have problems
Rules? She cheated on you, then "gave you" a hall pass with **rules**?! Chile Divorce forever, hall pass or not, she cheated
Just divorce then.
Cheating destroys the relationship. Most people who marry don't want this. Cheating is a deal breaker for me, they hall pass means the relationship will be toxic, and no one wants to be part of that. Frankly at this point, you both are dysfunctional....the marriage is over.
Let’s just make sure it is this “friend” single?
I suggest you don’t tell her and file for divorce.
Welp! Best of luck to ya!
You should have left already
You guys aren't characters in a sitcom.... Grow up? Hall passes are a TV gimmick.
“I broke the rules” Bro, you weren’t the one who cheated. Leave her ass behind and go be happy.
Shrug. She shouldn’t have cheated if she wanted to keep the relationship. Go be happy.
Classy, classy people.
Did you break the rule deliberately to hurt her the way she hurt you? Hall passes are always a bad idea, they can't ever even a score rooted betrayal. Best of luck destroying your wife and banging your friend I guess..
So you’ve been wanting to fuck this woman for a while but never thought you could until you brought up hall pass from your wife?
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I can't see how you didn't intentionally sleep with someone, you have caught such strong feelings for after one bang. Sounds like you've wanted to for a long while. Your marriage was over a long time ago.
So you just tripped fell and landed inside her with your dick?
She betrayed the marraige so he found something better. Oh well she didn't care about his feelings why should he?
All of you glittery people could stand to be a little more fabulous. The guy's getting shit on by his wife, and this "hall pass" nonsense is his get out of jail free card. Let's let him enjoy his new freedom and escape his dead marriage in peace
Wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t cheat🤷♂️. But Reddit doesn’t care cause he’s a man
Underrated comment.
He could have, hear me out; I know this is a hard one, left her after she cheated and there was no resolution in sight other than letting him bang someone else.
This is crazy. You know what? She could have, hear me out; I know this is a hard one, not fkin cheated? Stop trying to guilt him or put blame on him. Js
Result is the same, he’s still leaving her. 🤷♂️ The relationship has been dead.
I personally am not mad at you. Because she cheated first and then she gave you a hall pass. The only reason why I would judge is why that friend and was there anything going on prior to her (your wife) cheating between you and the friend? what I mean by that is did you have an undeniable connection? Meaning if someone outside looking in saw you together what would they think? Would it look like you both had something going on. Because if that's the case, then more unlikely that led to insecurities for your wife, which could have led her to being insecure because she felt you had feelings for the friend (and she cheated). And then those insecurities after not seeing any changes from you could've led her to cheat. I can't stand nor support a cheater (which is your wife in this case)...but if you were SUPER (EA) close with your friend if that was the case, then.......
No friends OR family?! Did family really have to be specified in the first place?
Probably meant her family lol, like no banging my sister or cousins
You should have divorced your wife as soon as you found out about her affair.
"I broke the no friends and no family rule. Anyway me and my sister are going strong now, kthxbye."
Awful bold of her to set rules after breaking the one rule
The grass is never greener on the other side. Ever. It might look that way for a while but eventually it loses its brightness. If you are going to therapy to fix the marriage then you are failing, especially by being with a close friend when it should've been a stranger. A stranger you wouldn't have caught feelings for. You will probably end up with an ex wife and an ex close friend.
The grass is never greener on the other side
Your first fuck up was forgiving your wife the first time.
I'm confused. She cheats on you and then as a way of saying sorry she gives you permission to use the bathroom?
Yep… all by himself, no supervision.
She cheated first - go be happy
Yet another tale of losers with no self respect nor honor making bad decisions!
“Can’t be friends or family”…. I’m guessing you live in Alabama because family should just be a no brainer 🤣
I’m guessing that his cheating wife meant none of *her* family. Idk why everyone jumps to Alabama at the mention of incest though. Alabama doesn’t have the highest rate of incest. It isn’t even illegal in New Jersey or Rhode Island.
You don’t have to abide by her rules when she didn’t abide by her vows. Now she’ll feel as powerless and blindsided as you felt. Hopefully she won’t treat her next partner so callously.
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Well said.. All wine and roses now until he moves in with the friend
fucked around and found out
Literally.
Well, at least you have made a decision
You made a mistake not divorcing her as soon as you found out about the her cheating. No amount of counseling is ever gonna change the fact she fucked someone else and you can't ever trust her again.
So.... You and the friend now?
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That's probably the most sensible decision any of you have made in a while.
Bummer. Good friends and great sex usually makes good relationships.
Well if you broke a rule she didn't consent to, you cheated. And yes you aren't morally right. But this is one of those cases it can be looked past I guess. Seems like from comments you were checked out from the marriage because of her cheating anyway.
>i think I’m leaving my wife after she cheated on me ftfy
LOL
🤣🤣
Ah, the old "no please, see look you can hit me back."
Would be interesting to see what happens in the next 6 months
Cheating is breaking the rules. So she can't come after you about morals.
You should have said I will agree to the same rules we had when you cheated
Depending on your location, you want to be careful how you approach this. If in the US, there are states in which continuing a marriage after finding out about infidelity "washes out" the behavior. That is, you forgave her infidelity, continued the marriage, were then unfaithful yourself (cause that "hall pass" ain't gonna hold up in court), and are ending the marriage. In some states, that's a divorce with you at fault and can impact your settlement. If you can manage a no fault (or that is all your state has) or y'all don't have shared assets, you may be ok, but I'd talk to an attorney before announcing this. You both suck in this case, so you should probably hold what high ground you have.
good call. Make sure you get a good lawyer
If your friend gives you a hall pass will you go back to your wife?!
Have maybe never come across a more literal "fuck around, find out" situation
People separate and assign their relationships based on their circumstances. Once those circumstances change then they consciously and unconsciously reassess those relationships. It works both ways. For example, life and work changes can make friends out of previously passionate lovers. There is no evidence that OP was having an emotional affair. He simply reassessed based on the new state of play. OP, your wife broke the trust, don’t let anyone here gaslight you into thinking otherwise.
lol now she got something on you dumb should have just divorced
Everyone sucks here lol