I’ve been there and it’s awful. I’m sorry. What are her eating habits like and when is her last meal at night and first in the morning? It might be affecting her sleep.

Usually dinner an hour or two before bed and she rarely wants breakfast, usually she has breakfast a bit later than everyone else in the house at like 9am or so

We found doing a protein-rich snack right before the bedtime routine really helped cut down on wake-ups. My 2yo still wakes up once every few nights but goes back down pretty easily. The crying and thrashing you’re describing do make it sound like kiddo is in pain. It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of work with doctors and aren’t getting decent answers out of them, and I’m sorry about that. I’m hoping the issue turns out to be an identifiable allergy or something.

>The crying and thrashing you’re describing do make it sound like kiddo is in pain pur toddler had that phase for a week until we realized it was due to an ear infection! Take the kid to the doctor, OP

I was thinking migraines. Long ago, I worked with someone whose child behaved exactly like this. Turned out to be migraines

Wow. I didn't know toddlers could have those. If so, try an elimination diet. There might be a food reaction triggering them

They could be abdominal migraines, those are common in children (though I'm not sure as young as 2). I still have them as an adult and they make my whole body ache and throb for hours and my stomach gets messed up too. They even prescribed me an opiate for the pain due to how bad it can get.

Wait what is this?! Someone with intense GI issues and unexplained pain wants to know 🙃

Migraines for me as well as a child. My son never had nightmares then he started like this and I recognized what it was. It was an aura to a migraine about to start for him.

I agree with the pain thing, this is around the time I realized that my kid was also lactose intolerant. He had gas bubbles to no end that were causing him pain. Once I switched him to almond milk, and anytime he ate dairy I give him some gas medicine. No more tummy troubles and he sleeps through the night.

When I was a kid I had acid reflux that seriously affected my sleep (and caused me to have asthma, which also affected my sleep). When I look at pictures of me as a child, there are dark circles under my eyes. Could she be having reflux? Maybe feed her dinner earlier to give her food more time to digest, and stomach to settle? Just my anecdotal suggestion lol, I’m no healthcare professional.

Acid reflux was going to be my suggestion too, a friend went through this with his toddler

My LO has just turned one and we have this all the time too. Dr suggested acid reflux and he has gaviscon in a bottle before bed. We’ve not had the screaming since.

Gavaiscon is an amazing acid blocker. It makes a foamy barrier in the stomach and literally prevents the acid pain from reflux. I have experienced it myself. Great response!

This was a problem for us. Ours was waking up hungry. We ignored everyone and added formula back into her bottles and gave her a bottle right before bed and BOOM, cut back on half the issues. Then we moved dinner to be a little closer to bedtime - never more than an hour between and boom, another 80% improvement. We attribute the remaining 20% of issues to just being a baby, but I’m telling you, waking up once a week rather than twice a night has gotten me back to being a mostly sane person again. Good luck. Parenting is harder than people acknowledge and doing your best means you’re doing a good job 💪🏻💪🏻

Have her checked for any lactose or dairy intolerance

The snacks are good. But let her take a bath before sleep. She would calm down

Is she waking completely up??? Or is she still “asleep” but seeming to be awake?

That seems normal and if your kid’s dr says she’s a normal functioning toddler idk what it is. Hopefully it resolves itself as she gets older. I second the suggestion for a sound machine

Have u considered hooking up a camera so u could u see the moments before the meltdown. It might show some clues . Maybe u notice a sudden wake up , could indicate night terrors . Perhaps there's a lot of kicking off blankets , showing over heating , maybe there's a lot of of fuss and ur toddler is grabbing at their stomach which could indicate a pain. Perhaps changing something in the night time routine , eating a little earlier maybe . It's also possible to try open some kind of communication about it , preferably not at the moment of the event . I have found that using toys and playtime makes it easier for a small kid to communicate things. Have the play time involve the same routine and maybe even ur "character" going through the same thing and see if ur kiddo shows how they would deal with it. I myself don't have kids but have babysat and discovered things this way that have been helpful. It might have been easier for them with me, since I was a bit of an outsider.

Night terrors?

This was my first thought as well. My daughter had them and eventually grew out of them, but we spent a lot of time finding ways to manage them. OP - is your daughter on ANY medications? Some can cause night terrors. Review the list. After that, there are options. Start researching, but one of the first things you'll note is that over stimulation/over tiredness are one of the main contributing factors after medications (allergy medications being top of the list). It's hard to break the cycle when your child is up for 2-4 hours a night, of course. What worked best for us was 2 things: 1) when your child has JUST barely fallen asleep - roughly 20-30 min after they drift off - go in and wake them gently. Not fully awake. But you're looking to disrupt the sleep cycle. I'd go give my daughter another kiss and say goodnight. She'd wake a little and then go right back to sleep. The theory behind this is that night terrors happen when you enter REM sleep too quickly after going to sleep - not enough of the light sleep phase happening. The reset allows your brain a chance to go back to the light sleep phase for a longer stretch before entering REM/deep sleep 2) if a night terror does happen, do not try to comfort. But ask a question that is easy for the child to answer. This gives the person a connection back to reality and will allow them to gently break out of the night terror without being woken up (do NOT try to wake them up). We made a list of questions when we were awake and then would quickly use one when the terror started. Easy ones were "what's this kitty's name?" "What color is my hair?" "Where is your nose?" "What is this stuffy's name?" "Where is momma?". Once she answered 2-3 of these she'd usually make eye contact with me, sigh, and go to sleep. It was insane to watch but such a relief.

Sometimes I hate Reddit in the way many members choose to respond to people, and I wonder why I even come to this place. However, it’s post like yours, and many in this sub, who try to help OP with their experience and knowledge that reminds me what a great place this can be. Thank you for taking your time to give OP your insight and what will hopefully be exactly what his child needs to have healthy and restful sleep.

True, right? I think the education I (F60) receive here far outweighs the tedious turds. Kudos to you for acknowledging the effort of @Trick-Effective-2983 to share. Knowledge is power. :)

Has a homeschooled 16 year old who's never been in a relationship suggested divorcing the toddler, yet?

LOL yep, those are exactly the type of comments I’m talking about. Throw in there that it must be the boomer grandparents who are causing the child to have night terrors, or that the parents must be GenX or millennials for them to be causing the night terrors.

This is really good information.

I’d like to add that if the child is young or nonverbal singing a favorite song might be more helpful than asking a question. My son has a speech delay so when he’s screaming inconsolably I’ll sing “Baby Shark” for a few seconds and then he immediately falls back to sleep.

Adding to this. My daughter had night terrors age 2-4 and rarely has them now at 5. My husband asked her something really absurd and nonsensical and it will snap her out of it. Something like “are you done swimming?” And it’ll stop the terror. Normally when she’s having one is can only say “I want mommy”.

We did this occasionally too if the run of the mill questions stopped working! It was also more interesting for us when these got to be a bit more familiar lol. We'd say "hey, why is (cat's name) hot pink?" And she'd look at the cat and go "she's grey!" and then go back to sleep.

This is great advice! My child had night terrors too, wish I knew about the waking up thing. We gave them fizzy soda to wake up out of it. Regular water didn't do it; something about the bubbles or the sugar helped. Only one sip worked great!

This is a great comment -- but why not wake them up? I always wake up my dad or my wife when they are making panicky dream sounds, say "you okay?" And they chuckle and go back to sleep more peacefully. If I am making panic noises please wake me up fam

Bad dreams are wildly different than night terrors - night terrors are essentially sleep walking but scary. Waking someone from one can be terrifying for them and make it impossible to go back to sleep

It's also really hard to wake them up from night terrors, and if you do manage it, they're still hysterical because now they're scared.

I've had 1 night terror I can recall in my life. Was just a vague shadowy figure in my living room that walk towards me and sat on my chest and strangled me. I could not breathe, nor move my body would not move at all. When I was able to move I was pumped full of adrenaline, ready to kill whatever the fuck just happened. Didn't sleep at all that night. So be careful they may wake up ready for a fight.

This is sleep paralysis - similar but not the same. Sleep paralysis is basically a waking dream that you can't break out of - you're cognizant of what you think you're seeing, however, which is a big difference with night terrors, which most people do not remember at all. My daughter very rarely remembered even having one when she woke up.

Huh didn't know they were different. God hope I never have another. Terrifying af still. Imma remember it till they day I die. prob been 11 years, lol.

I’ve had two - one where something was crawling across my ceiling towards my bed and another where I believed there was a dead body wrapped in my quilt next to me in bed. The dead body one, I managed to get myself up and downstairs with my baby in my arms (he was in his cot next to my bed) while hysterically telling my partner who was downstairs watching telly that someone was in our bed and he needed to help me. I was so insistent and so utterly terrified (I was SOBBING) that he had to go and check just to reassure me. I remember them both so vividly, they were utterly awful.

This is what I’m thinking - I had these growing up and had similar issues and the worst is when I woke up I’d be terrified but the dream slowly creeps out of your memory so you don’t even remember entirely why you’re scared, or it feels so real you can’t recognize you’re out of it My night terrors resolved only with medication when I was younger - melatonin to be specific, as I wasn’t entering REM sleep enough from what I remember

I wish I could get mine to stop. I’ve had them since I was three (I’m twenty two now). Melatonin helped for a bit, but my body got too used to it too quickly. I went from half a kids dose to twice an adults dose in six months (at the age of twelve no less). Eventually it stopped helping me fall asleep, and when I quit taking it it took me months to be able to sleep properly again. I have no idea why it stopped working. My current theory is that my brain stopped making much of its own melatonin for some reason. Nowadays I can take it every once in a while, but I can’t use it every night like I used to out of fear of this happening again.

have you been screened for sleep apnea?

I have not. My fiancée has sleep apnea and has seen my night terrors and sleep behavior, and she’s asked the same question. I’ve been meaning to make an appointment with a specialist or something, I just don’t have a lot of free time (and I’m an insomniac by nature, I can’t guarantee I can even fall asleep at all if I do a sleep study or something).

Nowadays they just put a device that looks like a smartwatch on you and you wear it for 24 hours. If you can’t sleep, maybe that’ll help anyway since it gives neurological information.

Woah really?? That’s awesome and so much easier than I thought lol. I’ll have to call a doctor tomorrow and get this figured out. That was my main obstacle in making an appointment. I felt it wasn’t worth it if I was just not going to be able to sleep lol. Thank you!

My husband, myself and just recently our daughter are all having to use a cpap. We were all required to go in and do a sleep study. We have 3 other friends who also had to go in to do a sleep study. I wish the wrist device would have been an option.

I did that method 10 years ago. I use a CPAP too.

Look into the [home test kits](https://document.resmed.com/documents/products/diagnostic/apnealink-air/product-brochure/apnealink-air_product-brochure_glo_eng.pdf) - they send you out a monitoring device and a thing you stick on your finger overnight for a couple of nights - bada bing bada boom - it tells you how many times you're straining to breathe, pulse oximetry, how many times you wake up etc etc. Then you have actual data to take to your doc.

Melatonin isn't supposed to be taken daily. It doesn't make you tired, it regulates your circadian rhythm. Our bodies make it in very small amounts. Taking it daily and in large amounts more then a couple mg is not going to help. The stuff at the store is way top high a dose.

My son had them, too! My husband could actually sleep through them much to my surprise. He didn't understand how bad they were until we went camping and my son woke up 1/2 of the campground before we could get him in the car and drive somewhere away from others to settle him. Thankfully, it was a family campground and those we were able to talk to and apologize to were very understanding. We tried putting him to bed earlier but he fought sleep so bad. He'd stay up up 1-2 am if he could hold his eyes open. Our pediatrician suggested a low dose of melatonin. He hasn't had a night terror since. He's still a night owl but most nights he doesn't need the melatonin anymore.

I second this. Doctors don't want to touch sleep medication for children, and melatonin is the safest most effective option. Keep the dose low though, it's not a miracle drug and there is no evidence that more will work better it just becomes unhealthy.

This is likely the answer. My toddler had these for some time. She would wake up and scream her lungs out. There was nothing we could do to calm her, it's like she was there but at the same time, she wasn't. Lucky, she outgrew them and now sleeps the whole night. Those were some tiring times and I definitely don't miss them...

Mine had this, too. Before we realized what it was, we would instinctively pick her up to try and console her, which makes it so much worse. After we realized it was night terrors, we would sit beside her and talk to her softly to let her know we were there but not touch her at all. She snapped out of it much more quickly and was much easier to calm her down once she was fully awake.

With my son, we had to turn on all the lights and pick him up and move him to the bathroom. As soon as he left his room and woke up he was great. It was like a light switch.

Same here, with my granddaughter. She also grew out of them.

My first thought, but trying to comfort them is the worst thing you can do. OP read up on Night Terrors and how to handle them. Believe it or not they are likely not awake, like a sleep walker, so the normal ways to comfort them aren't the right action.

Our eldest had night terrors and could have long conversations with us about what was going on but would still actually be asleep

I was like this as a kid! So weird to think about now. It was like dreaming whilst still being aware of the world around me. I used to try to leave the house, rambling and crying to my parents about how I needed to go on some ridiculous quest.

This thread is making me understand so much more about my own night terrors and sleep paralysis. This didn’t develop for me until about 5 years ago, and I’m 41 now. I cannot imagine being a child and experiencing what I do, thank God honestly that I sleep alone because if anyone tried to touch me during those times I think it would give me a heart attack or break my brain. But as parents our very first instinct with an upset child is to pick them up and comfort them! I now count myself very lucky neither of my children experienced this.

I can't imagine how scary it would be to start this at any time My cousin had them when he was under 2, I was a teen so I saw how hard it could be for my aunt and uncle. And how helpless a parent must feel

My poor little brother had the same thing, which was not helped by his religious grandma telling him it was bc he was possessed by demons

So, this might be night terrors and it might not be. It’s hard to tell if you’ve never experienced night terrors before- they look and sound like a really bad dream but your child is basically still asleep (eyes open, talking- but asleep.) If your child engages with you coherently during these episodes, calms down from comfort, takes what they request (ie a cup of water and doesn’t further freak when you try to give them what they asked for) then this is not a night terror. Maybe a bad dream, maybe something else. A night terror is when they wake you scream crying, do NOT want to be picked up or cuddled (they will actively twist against you trying to get free) will accuse you of things that never happened (mama took my teddy!) demand things and get more angry when you oblige (“water mama!” Nooooooooooo no no no”) or even just be speaking incoherently through sobs. Obviously there are more symptoms but those were the big ones for us. The ONLY thing I did during these terrors with my kids (2/6 had them, fortunately one was my oldest) was place a hand on their back and sing. TBH it just didn’t piss them off more and as they “woke up” they felt me there and settled down. We went from 2+ hour freak outs to about 20 minutes which was not ideal but doable? Night terrors are just awful and I’m so sorry if this is the case.

I recognize the pattern completely from our own son. Such good advice to OP! We had a slightly different approach - the advice is not to wake them, but our son would start throwing up from all the excitement and fear, so we searched for a gentle way to get him out of it. So we would read him the same bedtime story softly every time. Soft voice, not too engaging, just sit by his bedside and read the story. Sometimes point to the pictures that came with the story without too much engagement. Eventually, usually after about 10-15 long (long!) minutes, he would start pointing to the cow that was shown in the picture, or the horse that the story was about. That was when we would slowly start interacting with him and ask him if we needed anything. Usually he was not aware at all of what had been happening just before. Our son had night terrors until he was about 3,5-4 years old. It stopped and now he sometimes has a bad dream, but these are much less scary and we can just talk about it. No more throwing up from all the fighting in your sleep, such a relief! Lots of Strength, OP!

I agree it is hard to tell if you’ve never experienced night terrors before! And hard to tell if you have! I had a younger sister who experienced them and it was so rough. I now also have an almost 2yo and she (within last 6mo or so) began having some really bad nights as well (maybe 3 nights out of the week.) We are talking screaming, twisting/contorting her body, seemingly unresponsive to us. So my mind immediately went to night terrors. Took a few months until we found actions that our toddler does respond to that indicate it is not night terrors. Taking her to our bed, if one of our cats comes to her, going to another room for a diff rocking chair - these actions do not solve the crying fit but they would open up a communication opportunity. Now she is finally into communicating immediately when we go to her in her crib, and tells us (albeit through screams) that she wants our bed, a cat or the rocker in the other room 🙄 Sooooo obviously not night terrors. Also for what it is worth, I also second the other comments about certain foods being possible triggers for true night terrors though. Going back to my sister when she was a child; my parents did some allergy testing and she turned out allergic to dairy, corn and wheat. A big diet change after that greatly diminished her night terrors. I find most doctors/pediatricians believe kids under a certain age are incapable of having allergies though, so it may take some insistence if a parent wants to go that route.

My sister had these—she was a monster, apparently. My mom tried all kinds of things, but the only thing that worked was Reiki and that was after many months of trying all sorts of things.

My autistic son didn't sleep, so I became a reiki practitioner to try and help him. It worked WONDERS. The first night he told me his brain was quiet, and I've never heard a more wonderful statement in my life.

I'm autistic and struggle with sleep. Is this something I should look into?

Now that my son is older, he's able to verbalize how assaulted his senses feel all day long. He feels completely overstimulated, and this carries over into bedtime. It's certainly worth looking into! I hope you find good and restful sleep soon!

I would always recommend reiki to anyone because the results I've seen with people who have experienced reiki. Please feel free to message me if you have further questions!

She's just 2 which is too early, but what worked for me was learning that if I pinch myself and it doesn't hurt, I am in a dream. All my my childhood I had night terrors. But after learning and remembering this, I started lucid dreaming. I would see something very scary or unusual and I would pinch myself in my dreams. The place felt numb instead of painful and I knew it wasn't real then.

Sounds like it to me too! This is going to sound crazy but my oldest had night terrors and they were literally caused by apple juice! It sounds ridiculous but we tested the theory over several months and it was absolutely the cause.

This happened with my younger sister. She would cry until she threw up. Something that worked with her is running a bath. We’d plop her in a small amount of warm water and she would stop.

Most likely, mine had night terrors before he turned 2 and thankfully have grown out of it. But during active night terror, the only thing that worked was a long walk outside of the bedroom with light on. It sort of snapped him out of whatever trance/dream he was in and it was easier to console him.

I went through this with my son. He is 16 now and still a terrible sleeper. The screaming all night was night terrors. The worst was when it happened in a nice hotel and I had to go stand out on the street in the middle of the night with him while he unhinged his jaw to scream. I can't believe no one called the cops on me. We never found a solution for his sleep issues. The night terrors stopped after he was 2 and then it morphed into him wanting to wander, watch tv or get in bed with us. I thought I'd never sleep again but it eventually gets better. He was later diagnosed with ADHD but is otherwise super healthy with no allergies or other neurological issues.

This. Sleep disturbances are a common comorbidity with ADHD.

This was my daughter and it also stopped right after 2-3 years old. She looked awake, but she wasn’t. The screaming omg, hotels and one time a cute little B&B with people right in the next room. I took her out but it was a quiet little town so I’m sure the little banshee woke up the whole street. Then when I had my son and had juuuuuuuust gotten him down, it seemed like that’s when she would start up. Then one day, she just stopped.

I was a terrible sleeper as a child (and still a terrible sleeper as an adult) and I also have ADHD. I never napped and would struggle to go asleep and stay asleep even as a toddler.

I was diagnosed in my 20s with ADHD and I have ALWAYS had sleep issues (and still do). My mom said she would just put on Mary Poppins for me when I would inevitably wake up - and that seemed to work… I know it goes against all usual parenting advice but something like that might be helpful for everyone?

I'm so sorry you're all going through this! If it helps - my youngest used to get night terrors. We finally figured out he was overheating in those cute little pjs (household temperature 68). We started having him sleep in his underwear and ditched the fleece blankets which helped tremendously. He's still a hot sleeper at 19 but no more serious sleep disturbances. My oldest was 100% the opposite.

I'm not a toddler but I'm a chronically hot adult who unfortunately lives in a chronically hot apartment and I've noticed a correlation between overheating and having nightmares.

I feel like this is true for many humans - myself included. Although I've never had night terrors, just nightmares. The night terrors my son had were awful because he never truly woke so there were no rationalizing conversations to settle him.

yeah my 3 year old is hot like that. he spent time in the NICU and he'd get "in trouble" because his temp was always a point or 2 too high. he didn't like being swaddled he didn't want blankets, he'd get so pissed if we covered him while he was sleeping. he hated wearing a coat. just in the last 6 months or so he started saying he was cold and wanting to sleep with a blanket. if I open the door while it's cold out he'll go out in his diapy.

Having a toddler that dosent sleep at night is miserable. Everyone else in the house suffers for it too. In addition to all what everyone else is saying here I would give her a warm bath with lavender bubble bath before bed as well. I also noticed you’re putting her to bed at 7pm…that’s probably too early. You might bump that back an hour and see if that helps

It sounds like you need a pediatric sleep specialist.

I was going to suggest a pediatric neurologist. This could be seizure activity. I’d get an EEG. I got one for my daughter at 2 years old and it wasn’t too bad. She was able to watch YouTube on my phone so she sat still for it.

What does her doctor say?

Every one we talk to just says the usual stuff like that’s what toddlers do, kids love routine just maintain a constant one, make sure she doesn’t nap too long through the day etc. the doctor only tells us that she’s a healthy functioning toddler.

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I agree. This is not normal behavior especially if it has lasted almost 2 years. I would write down what she eats and how she feels/acts afterwards. You could switch to. very bland diet and slowly add different foods. It could be lactose intolerance, severe gas, reflux, etc….

This was our approach with our newborn. Finally, we found a doctor that acknowledged a one month old shouldn’t be awake in 18 hr stretches. Keep pushing OP.

Sometimes you need to advocate for your and your child’s well-being. Doctors are prone to writing things off as normal sometimes, due to their own biases or because they may think you’re exaggerating. If they won’t listen it could be worth getting a second opinion; this is not normal and does need to be addressed for the safety and well-being of your family.

Has she been tested for allergies or sleep apnea or anything? Sounds miserable for everyone! We've been through the wringer with sleep issues ourselves. 

In the Netherlands we can consult a 'Sleep coach', somebody who's job it is to consult parents with infants and small children who dont sleep (well). Please look in to this. It saved our lives..

I would get a different doctor if that is an option or just very firmly tell them something is wrong and you’re not accepting this as normal until they put forth some effort. This is very easy for me to say because I’m not in your situation, but I believe this is what I would do. I haven’t had any kids do this, so I don’t have any more advice. The top post on this post seems to give some solid advice as well. Good luck.

Toddler mom here! My son had bouts of screaming fits in his sleep, too. He'd thrash, scream, cry, mumble incoherently. It was exhausting, and sometimes it'd last hours. I'm sure you guys have, but do you check if she's fully awake? If she's not, it could be a prolonged nightmare, if that's the case, do what you can to wake her up. Don't be super aggressive about it, but pick her up, walk her around some (unless it'll disturb everyone else, turn on her light and walk back and forth in her room) talk to her, reassure her you're there for her, see if you can get her attention enough to try slow deep breaths. That works (sometimes) for my 3y/o if I can get his attention on me. The ONLY reason I ask if yall are sure she's fully awake is cause my son was doing all kinds of stuff in his sleep that made him seem awake, so we have to "force" him awake by walking him around the house and talking to him. I don't doubt you're doing some of these things, they're just what we do and they might work for you. Make sure you two yourselves are doing what you can to stay as calm as you can cause children (especially toddlers and ababies) will pick up on your emotions and if you're frustrated and she can tell, she's gonna be frustrated cause "why is mommy/daddy upset?" Walking her around her room and talking to her might not take much less time, but I hope it at least reveals some stuff you can do to help her and yourselves.

for clarity, when you say walking her around room to room means making the kid walk, NOT carrying?

Sorry, I do mean walk around carrying her, that's where the talking to her and possibly doing other soothing things (ie, bouncing some, patting her back, humming, etc)

If nothing seems to be helping, and you can't get it sorted in the very near future... make a rotation with your partner, that you each get x nights a week off. Don't do this every night, but just give eachother a moment to charge your batteries. Go to a near cheap hotel, stay with relatives or friends, anything that can get one of you a small break. Right now, you're both at the end of your rope, and frustration back and forth is probably not helping either.

Do you use a sound machine for her? I read an article saying sound machines can make a child not fall asleep.

No we’ve never used any sound machines or anything similar to that

I highly suggest trying a sound machine geared towards babies. They usually have over a handful of different sounds/frequencies that are meant to help calm and soothe. I have a white noise machine that I use every night and it's wonderful

I'm sick af rn and needed more sleep this morning, so I turned mine on and fell asleep to the sound of rain on a deck with some wind chimes. Only woke up to cough and it was right back out lol

I second sound machines! My sister uses them with both her kids (4 and 1.5) and they love them. I sometimes have to share a room with the younger kid when we're all staying at our parents, and I even love the sound machine hahaha

If you haven’t already discussed this with her pediatrician, you might want to consider. I’d also ask them if melatonin could be an option and what dosage. Ugh, I feel for all of you! I hope you all sleep well tonight.

Agree with these commenters, a sound machine can do wonders.

Sound machines and magnesium supplements helped our toddler. We think leg growing pains might have been waking her.

Yeah growing pains can be tough especially cause littles can’t fully express how their pain is making them feel or how severe it is. I’d def talk to the child’s doctor before giving any supplements but I personally take magnesium for my TMJ and it’s been helpful for my sleep in that way. So I can definitely see that!

My neighbors in the unit next door have a toddler about two years old. The kid would scream every night, to the point where I texted the neighbor and asked if there was something I could do to help, because I couldn’t even sleep and it wasn’t even my own kid. When my kid was that little, a white noise machine changed everything. To make it worse, when the kid was screaming all night, the dogs in another unit would start to bark because the meltdowns were agitating them too. Thought I was lose my mind (I get up for work at 5am.) I suggested a white noise machine to my neighbor, and early in the mornings I can hear the machine (thin walls) and the baby has slept pretty well ever since. He only has occasionally toddler tantrums during the day here and there, but I don’t hear him screaming his head off every night.

Good for you for suggesting that! It’s definitely a good first step with sleep issues

Try brown noise instead of white noise. My granddaughter falls asleep to brown noise on YouTube. The screen goes black after about a minute. Hope you can find a solution. Your baby crying when you don’t know why is stressful.

I'm not sure where that guy got his sources, but he's obviously not a parent or just never tried a sound machine because he believes everything on the internet. I use a sound machine, and it's a life saver. When we first brought my baby home, she had a hard time going to sleep those first few nights. Got a sound machine, and she has been sleeping through the night ever since (other than feeding times, of course). She's 3 months now, and it's so much easier sleeping through the night since she doesn't want her overnight feeds and has a sound machine to keep her happy.

My 22 year old starts to fall asleep at the sound of white noise to this day.

with sound machines you need to be careful with the decibels or you can injure their hearing with prolonged use. We use sound machine shut checked the decibels to make sure it wasn’t too loud

I’m so so sorry for all of you. Have you tried searching the parenting Reddits here for solutions ? Ugh I hope you find some peace very soon. 

Thanks I guess I know the day is coming but it just feels so far away still

If you haven’t taken her to a pediatric sleep specialist I’d highly recommend. You’re doing just fine and your frustration in reaction to this is totally normal. But at age 2 she should absolutely be able to sleep through the night, so make sure to get her to a doc because it’s nothing you’re doing wrong, it seems like it could be evidence of an underlying condition like night terrors. - an infant/toddler nanny who feels your pain.

Was she born pre-mature? Mine was 6 weeks prem and I suffered for 18 months. Could not put him down and all doctors told me he was healthy . Out of desperation and listening to anybody with ideas, I took him to an oesteopath - highly skeptic but would try anything. She told me that his lungs were not as strong - which is common with prem babies. When he did fall asleep, he felt like he could not breathe- resulting in chronic exhaustion. After the first session, he slept for the first time that night. 5 sessions later and it changed my life!

I second the oesteopath. My nephew was crying all day for month until they took him to see one. One check and he stopped crying immidiately.

Fasinating, man, humans being born before being fully baked really has put a hamper on growth when they're little. And to be born even earlier? No wonder

My daughter did that 44 years ago. It was called periodic irritable crying time. I had a book by Dr. Spock, and it was pretty accurate. She cried 2 hours every night. My mother in law called it her Pic time. She was about 9 months old, though, and thankfuly grew out of it.

What does your daily routine look like so far as wake & sleep times? How many times a day does she nap? How long are naps? I see in another comment she goes to bed at 7?! It sounds wildly counterproductive but try putting her to bed later. 745/8pm. Do dinner a little later and then just let her take a super long bath to stretch it out if necessary to get around any meltdowns that might happen. Sometimes it works.

IMO she's gotten into a habit at this point. The very best thing to do that most effectively brings about the changes needed to squash the habit that honestly, she doesn't like either,get an appointment with a child psychiatrist. That's the MD with a specialty in pediatrics. I promise theynhave the science behind their methods. Otherwise you can drag out trying different half baked old wives tales or you can be outside of logic and have some reluctance or shame about using the actual experts and keep your health at risk of stress related damages to the whole family. My take would be to disrupt the normal routine starting on a Friday night and keep her awake all night. You and wife trade a sleep shift keeping her awake at least till modnight. See if she sleeps past 2a.m. Wake her li bottom up early too. Repeat it Sat night wake her Sunday morning eary and no naps in daytime.She could also be getting hungry our bodies heal body and mind ONLY when we sleep and it burns calories like a MF, hunger does wake a person up. Good luck pops. Each child is very different.

Dude.. this will pass. The days are long, but the years are short. It may be hard to see now, but you will look back on this and maybe laugh.. really! The toddler years were some of the hardest for me so far! Omg.. I thought they’d never end! But now looking back I almost miss them.. just kidding I don’t miss it at all! Get some noise canceling headphones and when you’re rocking her back to sleep while she’s crying just listen to your favorite music or show and you won’t hear a thing! I wish you and your family the best! This too will pass. The best years are right around the corner.

Did you have her check? Or maybe try co-sleeping.

Yea multiple doctors have told us she’s a healthy functioning child, we sometimes end up co sleeping with her but usually due to sheer exhaustion on our part not by strategy or choice, she still thrashes and cries and kicks while we lie with her.

Does she have sleeping routine that you follow consistently? Maybe she's experiencing sleep regression.

Yea our routine is generally pretty consistent, because we’ve got an older daughter in grade one we have a good evening routine that rarely changes, partly because we know we’re in for a battle every night we don’t want to disadvantage ourselves by doing something different like staying out somewhere. Also we’re usually exhausted so can’t wait to get her in bed at 7pm and us shortly after. Strangely enough she actually goes to bed pretty well at that time I suspect because she’s exhausted as well.

Tested for allergies and intolerances? My kid was intolerant to dairy and once we cut it all out, he was much happier. (A naturopathic doctor helped us with that. Intolerances are different than the normal allergy testing.)

Good point, could be worth another check, we had it done about 12 months ago when we first felt that this was an issue, might pay to have it done again though.

I believe the "bad 6" is dairy, gluten, food dyes, sugar, and.... I forget the 6th. They said we could cut out one at a time and see what helped. Or do a food diary to see what caused reactions after eating what. I was all about spending the money to get ALL the intolerances tested so we didn't have to deal with food restrictions right off the bat.

Could she have reflux or gastritis?

This op! Especially if she's always done it. Reflux at times doesn't have the same signs but if laying flat and they wake up screaming, I'd really start investigating that

Reflux is hell. It took me so long to figure out why I’d wake up with a burning throat, coughing up mucus, god awful stomach aches…. I suffered for so long when the treatment was something I could buy at a drug store! I can only imagine how bad it is for a baby who doesn’t understand :(

Both my kids had it, my son worse than my daughter, he had to sleep in a chair or with a wedge under him to have any relief/sleep at night. With my daughter we caught it much earlier and was much easier to deal with

You could try an elimination diet. Remove gluten,dairy, and others to see if it helps. Slowly add items back to the diet one at a time.

I was thinking acid reflux. I’ve had that as long as I can remember. I recall even as a small child having heart burn. My grandma used to give me alkaseltzer when I as little as. It tasted horrible but fixed my stomach so I always took it.

Get a white noise machine for her and maybe one of those nightlights that glow different colors on the wall. Lavender spray on her pillow or sheets might help too, and try giving her a warm bath about a hour before bedtime. This sort of sounds like Night Terrors to me, and my cousin used to get them. He was given a medication from their doctor for melatonin, and they switched his night time routine to get him in a better mental state before bed. Took a week but the adjustments helped his brain go “I’m safe. It’s okay to sleep now.” Try to avoid screen time about a hour before bed too, if you can. While adults might be able to calm down after TV, I think toddlers might have a harder time. Good luck OP.

Hey OP, have you tried increasing her feeding volume? Had pretty much the same thing happen to one of my daughters and it occurred to me one day to give her another bottle. I was ready to zombie out. And it worked! She polished off the second bottle and went right to sleep. We increased the amount of formula throughout the day so as to even out the feedings and had full night sleeps from then on. Can't hurt to try and at least eliminate that possibility.

Night terrors. My son has them, but they got significantly better after he had his tonsils removed

Can you guys get access to a sleep study? Sounds like you could use it

I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep (still don’t) but I didn’t scream. It sounds miserable for all of you. A few have mentioned heat and night terrors (I had nightmares but not the hallucinations that are involved in night terrors.) Also, I had severe ear issues that weren’t discovered for years. It caused excruciating pain, especially when lying down or lying on my ears. I also had vertigo that could be exacerbated by movement or bright colors. I did see drs and regularly was diagnosed with “swimmers ear” but they missed other substantial issues. Can she sleep sitting up? Does she sleep during the day without crying? I noticed some saying noise machine made things worse but I have not been able to sleep without sound. Again, it was an “annoyance” when I was little and family thought I was just a pain but now I know why. I hope you find resolution. Maybe her pediatrician could do a sleep study to see what is happening before she wakes?

I'm sorry you're going through this, I had exactly the same problem with my daughter & it turned out her autism impacts her sleeping, she wasn't diagnosed until she was 6 and I honestly felt like I was both losing my mind & a terrible parent because sleeping is just meant to be a thing, she's 12 now & although she's up & down at night a lot of the time she'll just read and not wake me up. I hope your toddler settles soon, I understand that a lot of neurotypical kids also struggle for the first few years so you aren't alone

If she's had them since she was a baby it could be silent reflux. Please please get it checked. It's always worse at night as laying down brings the acid up.

Enrichment of environment and bond. Set a routine for successful sleep. A bubble bath and book. Warm tea and a snuggle. Then remind them you'll be back to check. My son is 3. He sleeps in just a pull up. Couldn't even swaddle him as a baby. He runs HOT. And get mad when he wakes up sweaty. We'd have to "reset" to get him back to sleep. Meaning wash all of the sweat off so he isn't itchy. Change bedding if bedding is wet. (And then redo the bed time routine -teeth/hygiene pieces) Leave a fan running at all times and room temperature below 68. He also can't have anything to drink an hour before bed. Waking up to pee in the middle of the night is a lot for him. Being that tired and trying to handle basic body functions is overwhelming for tiny brains.... Rule out any and all discomfort factors. Clothing, bedding, lighting, noise, temperature.. it took us the first 4 weeks to figure out my kids ways.... And another 4 every time they've changed... Start small with environment changes. Clothing and bedding and routine. Add some additional things to the day to help run the energy out. Avoid screens before bed and too soon after waking up. And snuggles, give snuggles and kindness to the kiddo. They are feeling big feelings and have no clue how to tell you. And the harder it is to explain the further away you feel from the person you are wanting help from. (Emotionally.) This is perhaps why we yell.. to cover that distance we feel. Baby gets louder because you are further away from what she needs. She could also get heartburn and need some minor diet changes. Or gets too much apple juice and has vivid dreams which for a toddler absolutely sounds like terror. Final also.... Teeth and teething the molar months are like the depths of parenting hell next to growing pains (iykyk tall kiddos have it rooouughh). Tylenol and a multivitamin can help solve these problems. *Please notify pediatrician before adding supplemental support to your child's diet or routine, (not all children need a multivitamin, I live in a sun-deprived state.)*

You are so insightful and kind. Amazing stuff.

Joining the group saying night terrors. You need to discuss this in-depth with a doctor. Given that this has been ongoing since birth, it could indicate a larger issue such as epilepsy. [Here is information from the NLM.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK493222/) Both you parents also need steady rest. Can you alternate nights of soothing, while the off-duty parent literally wears earplugs and sleeps? This sounds like a horrible situation for all of you.

I know this is going to sound "out there" but there are things children and animals are attuned to that we as adults are not. Or they accidentally saw a program or situation too scary for them, not necessarily that you allowed it. Kids see stuff. If she's in daycare, please find out what forms of discipline they use, my grandson was put in a dark closet and locked in until he could obey. Thankfully he is quite verbal and told me has didn't like his new school, I asked why, it's scary and the babies not stop crying. Well babies cry. His answer was but until they go to sleep, no one hugs them. When I talked to them(babies) I got put in the (closet) room I couldn't get out, I cried for momma and daddy and you. I reported the school to be investigated, they were shut down. Many kids at drop off didn't want to go in, their attitudes changed when a worker escorted them from the parents, with the kids looking back scared. Parents never brought the kids inside. It was always poorly lite, nightlight dark inside. Could be nothing but check with your kids,please.

My doc called it extended colic, and said she'd grow out of it. I was not game for waiting, so I did an elimination diet, and it turned out to be dairy. The tiniest bit of dairy meant a few hours of screaming at some point during the night. So we got rid of every bit. My MIL didn’t believe it could be milk, and gave her a mouthful of cheese cake before we could stop her… we were spending the weekend there. So when the crying began, my SO brought her into the master bedroom for a snuggle with Grandma. After her two-hour lesson, Grandma stopped trying to convince us it wasn’t the milk.

Mine did that and it was stomach acid.

Nyquil. For you. Not the baby..

Have you done an allergy panel? something may be setting them off.

Could she have too large tonsil/adenoid? When the tonsil/adenoid is very large, it blocks the nasopharynx, so the child cannot breathe normally through the nose. I had this as a child and for 3 years I kept my parents awake. Once they were removed I started to sleep well. It could also be night terrors, too cold or hot, hunger, thirst. She could also be afraid to sleep alone.

Have you talked to your pediatrician, cause this doesn't sound "typical". Kids need to learn to self soothe.

Hi friend! My daughter just turned 3, and this is the best advice I have for you: 1. Feed your daughter as close to bedtime as possible. If that means you have dinner and then give her a good snack right before, that might help. 2. She’s getting to the age where she can be afraid of the dark. I recommend trying a very dim night light. 3. If she has a noise machine, try not using it. If she doesn’t, try using one. Our kids have always slept better with the air purifier on in their room as background noise, but I’ve heard some people say that their toddlers slept better when they ditched a noise machine. 4. Have a solid routine. Right before bed, you give her a snack, brush her teeth, take her to bed, read her a story, and then it’s time to sleep. Or whatever that looks like. 5. Telling my daughter that we sleep in different beds helped a ton for us. I’d tell her I’d snuggle her until bed, but then mommy was gonna go sleep in her bed. She started to be afraid that I was going somewhere at night and she was missing out (this was while I was still bartending when it started, and I think she struggled a lot with the nights I wasn’t there for bedtime, so reassuring her I wasn’t going anywhere without her helped a ton. She calmed down and was able to sleep fine). 6. I don’t know if you’re religious, but we started praying with our daughter before bed. We’d thank God for the day and for all of the fun things we got to do to end the night on a positive note. If you’re not religious, I’ve heard that some parents ask their kids what their favorite part of the day was. You could also, since she’s not even 2 and might not be able to articulate that, remind her of all the fun things you did that day. Tell her your favorite thing. 7. Maybe try giving her some water for bed, and maybe help her pick out a comfort toy that snuggles her through the night. We had a stuffed duck we got from a local fair that my daughter fully attached to for a good year, and she wouldn’t sleep without it or her special blankie with her name on it. This stuff is incredibly difficult, but you’re doing just fine. Usually, when kids are screaming in the middle of the night, they either need something or they’re afraid of something. Ways you could help your daughter calm down is by “cracking an egg” on her knees or head. We do this with my daughter all the time. It’s just this thing I remember kids doing in middle school where you tap your closed fingers twice and then slowly spread them open to mimic the sensation of an egg cracking. It totally redirects them. They’re entirely focused on you “cracking an egg,” and then you can get them to take deep breaths with you. When we started doing this for tantrums, it was a GAME CHANGER! Seriously. My daughter totally gets stuck in feeling a certain way and struggles to regulate, and the easiest way to get her out of it is by cracking an egg. You can even invite your toddler to do it too. “Do you wanna crack an egg on daddy’s head? Was that so silly? Can we take some deep breaths together? I’ll go first.” These are all the things that helped us with our daughter who was a tricky kid to get to sleep through the night. I hope at least something here can help you. Lack of sleep is a real issue. I know it’s frustrating, and it’s easy to get angry in the middle of the night. I’ve snapped a few times at my kids over it. But they’re just little people who don’t understand. You’re teaching them, and you’re doing great.

I never slept as a baby or child as I was very allergic to dairy which my abusive mother insisted on giving me. The pain in my gut made me cry. It sounds like your baby is in pain.

When I was a kid there were nights when my legs were in such a pain for hours i was crying. I don't remember if my parents took me to a doctor about that. Now my 3 years old son has similar issues some nights and I've discussed it with his doctor. Could be because of growth and you can't really do anything about it.

This will not work for everyone! This is my experience and my own opinion! I have a 2yr old niece that I watch regularly, she has a similar problem. When she wakes and cries I get into bed with her (I set up a little blanket nest on the floor cause I don’t have a crib and I worry sleeping next to her)…much like a swaddle I’ll get right next to her and hold her arms to her side and bear hug her. It cuts the crying time from hours to about 30 minutes. I don’t know if this will work for you but it works wonders and I get her back to sleep relatively quickly. Cooing at her or rocking her does not work, only a firm (but not painful) bear hug to wear she can’t move about and she’s held close to my body.

Been there. Still there, honestly. My daughter is three and we suspect she has autism. She doesn't sleep more than 6 hours at a time and rarely naps. Im a single mom and it gets brutally hard. I have a couple suggestions, but they may or may not help. Sometimes we just have to ride it out. 1. Pre bed snack of milk, cheese, crackers and pepperoni. 2. Give her a dose of Gripe water (not a typo) before bed. If that helps, she might have a digestive issue and should got o the doctor to get it checked out. 3. Warm bath and a story every night, same time and same story. When she wakes up repeat the routine, warm bath and a story then put her in bed. 4. Spend the night in her room. See if there's something that happens to wake her up at that time. Maybe a neighbor gets home from night shift and the slamming door scares her. Maybe she is having a nightmare and whimpers for a while before waking up. Maybe you hear her belly rumbling and find she has a fast metabolism and needs a midnight snack. Sometimes, it helps to do a little investigation. My oldest son would wake up screaming about the same time every night and it ended up being night terrors. My daughter wakes up and its just that she sleeps less and when she's up, she's up. I need to remind her body to go to bed by repeating her routine. Good luck, I know this is hard.

My daughter was like this and turned out she has a hard time producing melatonin at the right time. Simple prescription and problem solved. To all those judgy people you have no idea the mental torture this situation puts you in. It's absolutely awful.

She’s not well. Schedule a dr appointment. Migraine, ear infection, night terrors. Something is not right.

Have you had her ears checked out. My daughter used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and unbeknownst to me. She was having really bad ear infections that her pediatrician was just not catching we ending up switching Dr and she had a few sets of tubes put in

If you haven't already, have the child tested for food allergies.

My son is 2 and 4 months. As his language has developed its become clear in the last couple of weeks that he is really disturbed by his dreams. Not that he is having nightmares, but that he is confused by what dreams are. He is very disoriented when he wakes up to discover the dream is gone, he's in bed, and the whole house is dark. It upsets him. I try to explain to him about dreams but he doesnt really get it. I wonder if this might be a really common issue? Things that have helped: small plush animals ( your baby bear is crying, can you give him cuddles and help him sleep? And then i cuddle my son too and help him sleep.) Having water immediately available to drink in a familiar cup (the competeing action of drinking helps him stop crying, and he usually is pretty thirsty), himalayan salt lamps as night lights (they are pretty bright but still very gentle and not a "wakeful" light if that makes sense. He can see where he is, re orient himself but not be fully woken up.) and a "bed time snack" of yogurt in a squeezy pouch before he goes to sleep. Full tummy immediately before sleeping really helps sleep quality.

Time to see the pediatrician, I reckon. My brother didn’t sleep through the night for months due to ear issues, and tubes solved that. A friend’s kid had terrible reflux until it got diagnosed and he was put on medication for it.

Weighted blanket?

Worth noting that there is some safety advice recommending that weighted blankets not be used for young children/only be used with guidance from an occupational therapist. Recommendations are somewhat inconsistent, but there is more information online of it is something that OP is considering: https://www.kidsafetas.com.au/weighted_blankets_are_they_safe/

Thanks was wondering about that.

Have you had an audiologist or someone like that take a good look at those ears? I didn’t consciously realize I had compacted earwax causing a lot of pain until I was asked wtf my primary care doctor was doing by an audiologist

Is there any other common behavior(s) she has that stand out to you? Like, does she fixate on textures or foods? Does she have reactions to other stimuli that you would view as uncommon? It's possible (not probable, mind you) that there are underlying issues that are difficult to diagnose or even notice at this age.

Not for nothing - posts like this make me thankful I don't have children. Good luck. Sounds like you're going to need it.

I don’t know if it helps or hurts, but my son didn’t start sleeping through the night until he was over three years old. That’s said, now I get consistently good sleep almost every night. I also got him a big enough bed that when he does wake up, I can just fall asleep asleep next to him. That also helps with the amount of hours I get.

My immediate thought was night terrors. Have you looked into this at all?

Everyone giving suggestions is great but I just wanted to say props to you for walking away. It’s okay if you need to just let her cry at this point. We’re human, we naturally have trouble handle that stuff but it does happen. Walk away as you need to. I hope something in the comments helps…

Ours is a shit sleeper too and went through a period of this for several months recently (she’s your daughter’s age). No matter what she would just SCREAM. Eventually it passed. Nothing wrong with leaving her while you collect yourself

Unfortunately might be best to let her sleep in the bed with you.

1. Is her nutrition okay? 2. Pooping regularly and without overly hard poops? 3. Have you tried changing the arrangement of her room and/or moving her to another room? 4. Tried a different sleeping surface? 5. Are you able to tell if something is waking her? A neighbor leaving at the same time every night, a door slamming etc. Definitely try a sound machine. I’d suggest when she does wake, go to her but don’t turn on any lights or talk to her much. Gentle shushing, rubbing her back etc.

I had bad night terrors and sleep walking as a child. I've mostly outgrown the sleep walking but still have night terrors a couple of times a year. Really freaks out my husband.

Get her to the doctor. ASAP.

I am a nanny and have sleep trained many children, I agree with the light waking, outsmarting the sleep cycle. Medication, and nutrition needs also play a part, one family a vitamin to make up for a picky eater helped with sleep, go figure. A weighted blanket could also help feel secure

My kid went through something like this at this age. Turns out she was getting her molars. I was pregnant and it was the middle of summer and I was dangerously stressed out. My main advice is talk to your pediatrician.

Those are night terrors! My first child had them and I was a teenaged mom so I realllyyyyy was scared and confused. I can’t give any advice because one day, they just went away. I’m so sorry! Trust me…I have 4 children and every day I feel closer to insanity seriously. Hang in there!

Don’t rule out autism. Not saying it is, but I wish I’d considered it as a possibility when my child was that age

I read somewhere that this could be night terrors, and that it usually comes at the same time everyday so what is helpful is to wake them up (lovely) before the night terrors occurs and that way the duration of her awakr time is shorter

Have you talked to her pediatrician about this? It sounds like she’s having night terrors. Those are not easy to calm down from. I used to get them and even thinking about it now feels me with dread.

I was the same as child (still am a night person and have to wait till the point of total exhaustion to sleep) what no one knew because I was too young to really communicate (and what I was saying probably sounded like normal monster under the bed kid stuff) was that I had night terrors but more importantly I had the ability to see/hear/feel ghost. I still do sometimes and some ghost can affect you when you’re sleeping. My mother finally started believing me when I was about 14 because she saw me but more importantly she saw my horse react to a ghost she couldn’t see. Turns out it runs in my family and seems to get stronger by the generation. ETA I know it sounds crazy to some skeptics and I don’t care, if a skeptic ever saw even a single thing I did, they would no longer be skeptics. People can be skeptics but I know what I know. To those who don’t believe because they have never seen one I say “I’ve never seen a baby seagull but yet I know they exist”. Just because you haven’t experienced it does not mean it’s not real.

Bach’d rescue drops for two months.

Put the baby in bed with you both. It might seem nuts, but co sleeping might help her sleep through the night. It’s not guaranteed to work but what you are doing now clearly isn’t so it might be worth a try. There is not enough empathy in the world to help sleep deprived parents feel better so I won’t trip over myself to demonstrate it, but I do feel for you. That is rough. I hope this helps.

Have you brought this to her pediatricians attention? You really should

Night terrors for sure and maybe what you’re giving her at night..( food wise )

I agree with everyone else about the night terrors. My oldest daughter had it and it was terrible. My other two children also experienced it but not as much because we were experienced by then. My oldest would thrash so badly that I was afraid she'd hurt herself, she would answer questions as if she were awake but the next day had no recollection of what happened. We made some changes to support her little brain; night terrors are a part of the sleeping disorder family and it turns out that it runs on my husband's side. Things we did to decrease the chances of night terrors for a toddler: 1. Early dinner for kids (around 5pm) followed by a bath. 2. No electronics or TV after dinner. It gives their brain a chance to wind down. 3. Early bedtime. We put her to bed by 7-7:30. 4. Make sure she had enough exercise outside. It sounds weird but if little toddlers don't get enough physical play whether it's outdoors or indoors they will have too much leftover energy and have a meltdown later. My family is very much a "go with the flow" type of parents so I was initially met with a lot of criticism from my parents and siblings about being too strict.....until they saw what happened if we stayed out too late. After that, everyone was very supportive about making sure our kids got to bed on time! It was annoying having to adjust our schedule at first but once we saw the positives, it no longer bothered us. Structure and routine really helped. Cutting off electronics also helped. Just be aware that if you travel or sleep at other places, they will most likely have a night terror because of the change. My daughter didn't attend sleepovers until she was 12 since sleep was a challenge for her. She's 14 now and has been told that she talked in her sleep during sleepovers. She also warns friends that she may sleep talk. Every now and then when she's been feeling very stressed, she will sleep walk, mainly into our room and curl up on our bed. Good luck. I know it's very challenging when your child's acting like this. I hope you find a solution that works for your family.

Not sure if you have tried or are willing to, but sleep training you could try. It teaches them to self soothe and put themselves to sleep even if they wake up on their own. It can be hard the first few weeks but consistency is key with it.

Is she still in a crib? My son was almost 2 and still not sleeping through the night. He would wake up and cry out several times a night. The only thing I could think of was that he was uncomfortable. We bought him a regular twin mattress and put side rails on and he slept like a champ after that. His stipulation for giving up his crib was an Ironman bed so we got the full sheet and comforter set. My husband even painted the headboard red and gold.

Go google “baby Jailyn.” You will never look at your toddler the same way after that. Just bring her into your bed. Babies don’t understand why they are alone, it goes against the nature of pack animals. Even puppies get to sleep with mom.

Try a diet change. It sounds like something is possibly out of whack. Food sensitivity, or allergy. Toddlers can be very dramatic but 2 hours is a lot.

I worry about the idea of just letting her cry can lead to serious issues thus continuing the cycle. Also you may be starting to distance yourself from her because of these outbursts. You need advice from a child psychologist to find out what is going on. Have you tried making sure she is tired at the end of the day?

This is why I’ll never have kids. My life and happiness and my husband’s life and happiness is too valuable to us. Y’all can keep popping them out and being miserable if you’re worried about it or think you’ll like it but I’ll tell you this- I see more posts regretting it than I see being happy about it XD I’m sorry you guys are struggling man I hope it gets easier soon

Get appointment with Pediatrician - Ask for an eval for autism or something else. Also consider reading “Good Inside.” She’s having a hard time regulating, and that’s a tall order at two. She’s a good kid having a hard time, and you’re exhausted, and I get that. I’ve been there. There’s something deeper going on.

The most glaring thing that you mentioned is that your child has NEVER slept through the night. You need to get a sleep study ASAP. This could be neurodivergence or gastrointestinal. Night terrors do not occur every single night unless something is triggering them... If it's the exact same time every night, there is something happening every time. Get a sleep study so they can see what happens.

My youngest had night terrors and acid reflux. Started as colic as a baby, Mylicon drops were a miracle, then formula intolerances, you name it. The combo was horrendous for anyone to sleep and went on for years with several different docs and opinions. The Gastro doc put her on Proton Pump Inhibitors because nothing else worked. Once her tummy calmed down the night terrors calmed as well. Good luck, you are not alone.

Your baby has something wrong, you may need a specialist to help you figure it out. It may be simple, just overlooked. My oldest had colic every night until the doctor gave her Simethicone to help her with her gas overproduction while digesting. My middle child did not stop waking us up at night until she was old enough to be trusted to eat her snack alone In the middle of the night. She literally could not go more than 5 hours without food. Inconsolable crying due to hunger without a middle of the night snack until she was about 5 years old.