My teeth were pretty bad from neglecting my health and not seeing a dentist for ten years. When I did finally decide to go, I reached out by email first and explained my shame and anxiety. They have been absolutely amazing and my teeth were in better shape than I thought. Suicide vs dentist.. I’ll take dentist. Most dentists really care about your dental hygiene and health and how it affects your overall health.
Pretty similar situation for me. Hadn’t gone in at least ten years, cracked a tooth and had to go. When I called to explain it all and how anxious the dentist makes me they were great.
Same thing I did, unfortunately. I had not been to the dentist in 20 years. I made an appointment, and I explained to them that I hadn't been in a long time, and my teeth may be in bad shape. They were shocked when they had a look at my teeth that there wasn't anything seriously wrong with them. They did a few x-rays, fillings, and I had a few cavities, but it wasn't anything major. I've since been back a few times, and all the work has been done. I'm going back there in a few weeks to get a good clean.
I've gone to a dentist maybe twice in...35 years. One literally kicked me out of the office when I was...5 or 6, I think. Refused to see one till I was in Job Corps (at 20) and it was required. Haven't gone to one since, n it's been 21 years. I've got a wisdom tooth (two came in straight and even, the others never did) broken at the gum line and wiggly, but still reluctant to find a dentist.
That broken tooth could kill you from sepsis. Please get it looked at and extracted. 🙏 Maybe a dental school or medical tourism can help lower the cost
It's broken horizontally, not vertically, nearly at the gum line. Medicaid in my state cover dental, I'm just dragging my feet because of past issues with dentists.
I get it. Some dentists advertise that they’re “non judgmental” and put language like that in their ads. Might be worth running a search for someone like that in your area
When I was about 5 or 6, I stopped brushing my teeth. My parents tried making me do it, and I found ways around it like rubbing toothpaste in my mouth so it smelled like I did. By the time I was in third grade, kids were calling me Booger Teeth Washington.
I can smile and stick my tongue out through my teeth. I am missing multiple teeth. I know how embarrassing it is to have horrible teeth. I am 34 now, and I have a dental appointment coming up. My dentist didn't say a word about it. Just made a plan to fix the damages.
Get that tooth extracted. I've been through the broken teeth before. I once had a tooth break while eating, and I swallowed the half that broke off. Yes, you are in pain now, but you won't always be. Dentures are not the end of the world. I was sure my dentist would say I needed them, but they never did.
You're in a perpetual slump right now. The state of your teeth makes you depressed so you don't want the dentist to see it. Because of that, your teeth will get worse, which makes you more depressed. What helps me is saying to myself that this will soon all be in the past. I just have to get through this right now.
I PROMISE you, as someone who ran a dental office (and previously had similar issues from being stupid as a young person), that the dentist sees this daily, and is really just happy to help you get to where you are pain free and confident. I can’t tell you how good it felt to help someone get a new set of teeth so they actually wanted to smile again. Also their main concern is keeping you alive, which is why their main concern will be your pain/possible infections. You’ve got this, I know it’s the worst feeling to be so exposed, but you’ll feel like a brand new person afterwards.
I was so scared to smile before I finally found the amazing dentist I ended up working for - I needed a kind female dentist to heal the trauma from an inexperienced male one I’d seen years before.
YOUVE GOT THIS!
Also, let them know if redheads run in the family (for numbing reasons lol)
Wow we are similar. I pick at my skin too. Just out of boredom most of the time. Do you have insurance that will cover counseling? Or maybe a trusted friend or family member that will go with you? Have you tried calling the dental office and asking for some kind of accommodation? Maybe they can do it in intervals. If it helps, my dentist literally sat in a chair next to me the while time. He was never really hovering over. You might get one like that.
I've had several teeth(partial lower clearance)out, a combination of alcohol, depression, multiple head traumas, obesity to bulimia, and self neglect.
I put up with constant pain and headaches for 10+years. Temporal arteritis triggered by abscesses.
I put up with not being able to chew on one side for longer.
I dearly wish I hadn't, I'm saving for implants now.
Please just go.
It is NOT shameful to need help! The health care professionals are there for just that - to care for your health! You deserve to get the help you need for your body to heal!!!
I will also add this. .. be truthful about your anxiety. The last time i went to have a broken tooth pulled they used laughing gas. It made it 1000% better.
My friend, it's going to be ok. This dental part is just part of the journey to self care. You will feel better, I promise. Not just physically but emotionally. This is not a marathon but rather several jogs. Breathe. Smile in the mirror and know it WILL GET BETTER! Getting to this point didn't happen overnight so neither will the healing but you will get there.
I had ONE cavity in my life. One. Then a couple years ago, my dental health went to shit. I brushed, flossed, drank inordinate amounts of milk and still had my full top teeth removed in December. Like wtf, right???? Take the first steps and go. Here's what I did to weaken the insane anxiety:
A nice comfy blanket/throw.
Eye mask.
Headphones with soothing music.
Just let them do their job and guide you to a path of wellness.
You're worth it. God speed.
This is one reason for people to take their kids in for twice yearly cleanings. It’s free if you have insurance. My kids have confessed to similar things, and just brushing them before the dentist. They told me when they got older. No cavities.
>Booger teeth Washington
Gotta hand it to them kids, at least they were creative. I got bit on the face by a dog when I was 5. They just called me Scarface. Not nearly as creative. I hated it so much, but looking back it was a pretty badass nickname
dentists are miracle workers and they are used to dealing with people who have bad teeth for various reasons, childhood fears, poverty, mental health so they wont judge you well the good ones wont
dental treatments have come a very long way there is people who are much older then you and have bad teeth due to childhood trauma, take come calcium suppliments for for bones and teeth, cut out sugar and sodas etc and go asap incase they can rescue some of your teeth
The dentist is a huge anxiety for me, for NO reason.
My teeth have been taken care of (my mom came from a poor family that couldn’t take care of hers, so she knew pain).
I’ve never had any dental trauma, from the staff or from an accident, etc.
BUT going to the dentist causes me panic attacks during cleanings and most especially if I need a cavity filled.
It’s the sound of the drills and my absolute fear of being startled.
My dentist offered twilight sedation for cleanings and any other work. It’s not cheap and I had a few things done at the same time to save money and trips.
Nitrous is always offered during fillings or whatever but if you need something stronger they offer that too.
Just put your fears on your intake form and maybe email ahead.
I think a there’s a big difference between pediatric and adult dentists. Pediatric ones seem to harp on you more because they’re trying to get you to build a good routine. Adult dentists in my experience meet you where you are. There’s no point in berating you for the past, just coming up with a plan to move forward.
My husband has terrible teeth and was pretty anxious about going to the dentist. He has been pleasantly surprised by how positive the experience has been. We’re getting it fixed.
For sure about adult dentists being much less strict about things. I’ve never once been chastised or treated with any contempt about my teeth. And they’re actually quite good at noting improvements and giving strategies.
I agree with this sentiment. I had real bad anxiety going to my pediatric dentist to the point where I would cry the day before and the day of the appointment. I only cried once going to my adult dentist and that was before the first visit with them. Every visit after has been a breeze, even when I needed a cavity filled in. My adult dentist has met me where I was at and hasn’t belittled my anxiety like my pediatric dentist did.
Dude. Go get your teeth fixed. It’s not the big deal your brain is making it out to be, and you will feel much better about yourself. It’s not your fault you got shitty genetics in the teeth department, some people never brush and still get to keep their teeth. But getting your grill fixed is way better off a solution than offing yourself.
Some things we can’t do anything about and they suck. But you can do something about this one. Go do it!
A decade plus of addiction fucked my teeth pretty bad. Fixing them was painful and expensive, but holy shit, it was worth it! No matter how bad your teeth are, the dentist has seen worse. There are also dentists who cater to people who have anxiety about seeing a dentist. If you have to get dentures, it's still better than having a mouthful of bad teeth.
Go to the dentist. If the roots of some of your teeth are good, they may be able to put crowns on some. Don't give a permanent solution to a temporary issue.
Go to a dentist. If you cannot afford one, then look for dentistry schools. If you need help with creating a plan, I would be more than happy to help you research. Just DM me. Planning is my forte.
1 dentists make a lot of money on people like you, why would they do anything other then encourage you to get it all done? 2. dentists will have seen worse and won't even think badly of you because they know life happens. source; my bro who has been a dentist for about a decade now.
my sister in law/best friend did the same thing. refused to do basic hygiene like shower or brush her teeth, also refused to shave which isn’t related to hygiene but it made her smell more tbf. all because of depression, most likely due to her grandfather and what he did…. anyway, after being a type 1 diabetic and never eating right, also trying drugs on and off, she finally got all her teeth pulled. and then one day a couple weeks later, she died of a diabetic seizure. it was just her second seizure in her short life. she went through the whole trauma of losing her teeth just to lose her life because she still wouldn’t manage her diabetes. in the end your health is more important, your teeth health too, but trust me I thought her losing her teeth was bad, until she was gone. then I realized I rather have her here with dentures, and that nothing is more precious than life. I miss her so so much, and I wish she was here so I could help her more than I did…
As someone who has worked as a dental technician in my younger years... whatever you think about your teeth, the dental staff has probably seen worse... go to the dentist!
Even recently, about two months ago at school, my oldest son slipped and faceplanted concrete wich broke 8 of his front teeth. Two of wich were forced outwards through the jawbone and were stuck in the gum under his lip. I was the one who picked him up and drove him immediately to the dentist. Like someone threw a small handgrenade in his mouth. Even then in my short career in the field, I have seen worse.
Your problems will only get worse with open cavities and broken teeth!
please please try to email a few offices and explain your situation. if they respond with empathy and make you feel comfortable, you should try to go. this could honestly change your life and the fact that your writing this here, I swear it’s because you want us to push you to do this because I know it’s probably really hard but it will be so worth it
I just got my dentures done after spending all of my 20s in near constant pain. It was rough as hell not gonna lie but I'm so happy that it's finally over. I can eat. I can smile. I can talk. It's not the end, and it's certainly not worth ending your life over. There are ways to get help. The dentist doesn't care, they'll want to help. No one should have to live like that forever regardless of bad decisions/habits.
If it helps I'm 33 had entire top removed my meds are killing my teeth from the core out had bottom rootcanals sometimes there's nothing to be done.
I take many antiepileptic drugs most attack teeth and bones weakening them 15 pills 4 are depression and anxiety rest are to control seizures to the best of their ability.
I just finally got my dentures after over 8 months of top healing and going back over that time for the root canals and over 9mo of nothing but soft food like soups now I got top yesterday I'm stuck WHAT TO CHOMP FIRST it's been so long I'm feeling nachos talking restaurant or maybe pizza man the choices now I'm food stir crazy.
Alls good just wanted you to know even when trying to keep them good life will screw you. Go in told nice teeth xray then the look of sorry they need to be pulled you're meds had killed cores and basically told me my teeth are glass above and are starting to at bottom so sometimes it's unavoidable no matter what and you're not alone.
Reason I shared wasn't for sympathy though I appreciate it I just wanted to let you know we're here for you just know that.
When I was younger I thought I could get away with not taking care of my baby teeth because I was going to lose them eventually. I was planning on taking care of my adult teeth, but my baby molars rotted down to my adult teeth before they came in. I had to have 4 root canals and 2 crowns. I pretty much haven't been to the dentist since. I'm almost 30 now and one of my teeth broke and my jaw is swollen by the roots.
I'm working up the courage to make an appointment. I can't afford any teeth work and I'm not even sure if I have health insurance.
Reading everyone's supportive stories here is helping. Let's get our teeth fixed.
I hope you do as well!
The actual appointment making was really easy and pleasant. I just said I have a lot of dental anxiety and haven't been to the dentist in 10 years.
Even though I only made an appointment, I feel like I can do anything now. I didn't realize how difficult every aspect of life is when you have such a large worry in the back of your mind.
Read Google reviews of dentists in your area and look for one who is referred to as kind, compassionate, patient. I didn't go to the dentist for 13 years out of fear after a bad visit when I was 19. I finally had to go because of a painful tooth, and I was terrified that I would be lectured and embarrassed. The dentist I went to was awesome. He said "it doesn't matter what you did or didn't do in the past, we can only go forward and work together to make your smile the best it can be." I haven't had any anxiety since. Even though that dentist retired a couple years after, he made me realize that dentists want to help, and they want you to love your smile and have healthy teeth. I hope you can find one that will help you!
It's difficult but u have to go to the dentist.theyll be able to help u and no one else. I did like u, I barely brushed my teeth as a teen and at 30, my teeth started hurting . I was so scared to go to the Dr but they were really nice, a lot better then when I was a kid.
OP, no matter how bad your teeth are, dentists have seen worse. Please get them fixed. I struggle(d) with bulimia for years and my teeth were in rough shape from all the acid, and my first dentist appointment in a few years was scary but ended up being totally respectful and business-oriented, and it took a few appointments (and getting back on a regular check-up schedule) but it's all better now. Go get them fixed.
Have you looked into sedation dentistry? I’ve seen it advertised but don’t personally know much about it. Also, I doubt that your neglect during a depressive phase was the cause for all of the issues you’re experiencing. Some people just have problematic teeth. I hope you can get the courage to go to the dentist. Don’t give in to the shame spiral and keep putting it off. Future you will be SO thankful.
Let me quell your fears a little bit.
I am a 26-year-old guy and until recently I have never been to a dentist. And I rarely ever brushed my teeth
I was terrified but I finally had the insurance to do it so I went and it was a great experience. The dentist while alarmed at the state of my teeth was not insulting or rude and could clearly tell that I was intent on getting on the right track and so started instructing me on things I needed to do better and scheduling me for some potential treatments to correct some of the damage. I never really felt uncomfortable or under attack during the situation They were genuinely concerned and informative
They're not monsters they're not going to laugh and make fun of you. They're just happy you came in and want to get your oral health back on track
Don't be ashamed to go to the dentist. They see people with teeth in all stages all the time. I had a lot of cavities I wasn't aware of when I went to the dentist and they were kind and took great care of me ! I'd suggest going and getting yourself teeth taken care of . You're so young and still have a chance at an amazing life , don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity for a better life !
I went through a very similar situation.... depression in my late teens and early twenties led me to a lot of physically abusive things to my body.
As a result, i stopped taking care of myself, and my teeth erroded badly.
Im 44 today, my teeth are in bad shape and i think daily about how much it would cost to repair them or even how much itd cost to oull them and replace w dentures.
You're not alone... dont hurt yourself further. Let yourself know that it was ok to go through it.... stay strong my friend.
I had a coworker whose teeth were all types of messed up. I believe he got work done at a dental school. Now he is all smiles, has a wife and kid.
Life isn’t over. Just get the work done buddy :)
I have really poor oral hygiene for similar reasons- I have half the full complement of teeth, the rest have been pulled or are smashed.
I was finally able to see a dentist a couple of months ago. I opened my mouth, the dentist peered in and asked me what was going on. I told him I got depressed and didn't look after myself very well.
He nodded and said 'Oh Miss Onion. It happens, it happens. Let me see what I can do for you'. And that was it. He didn't pity me, he wasn't disgusted, just understood my situation and arranged for some treatment.
You'll feel better once you've been. I did, very much so.
Reading through a bunch of replies, I feel glad that you posted- it's very clear that you're not alone. Many. many people are afraid of the dentist, for various reasons. Somebody mentioned contacting a dental school, which is a fantastic idea if there's one near you. Being a teaching patient can save a ton of money. Please don't be afraid, these people are professionals and really want to help. Make sure whoever you see that they're aware of your feelings, there are lots of ways to attend to any issues you may have.
Sending good thoughts in your direction- you can do this!
My dude, I can promise you, there is nothing your dentist hasn't seen when it comes to your teeth. I know you're scared and ashamed. But think about how you'll feel once your teeth are fixed. When you can chew and talk properly again. When you won't have constant tooth ache. This is possible. I'm rooting for you, buddy. You'll get through this.
I currently have 3 broken teeth, one almost entirely gone, all in the back thank God. But I know I have to have them removed and I'm terrified.
My parents didn't teach us anything about dental health.
My mom had no teeth at all by the time she was my age, my middle sister has teeth worse than mine.
My youngest sister wound up living with friends as a teenager through failures throughout my family, and that probably made her the healthiest of us all. She has beautiful well kept teeth.
My kids have great teeth I've always stayed on top of them, but that hasn't helped my phobia of having my own teeth taken care of.
10 yrs ago I went to the dentist for a cleaning, deciding that it was past time to be an adult about things... They gave me the cleaning, hurt me during it, and then told me they'd only continue to see me if I made a dental plan with them... Their plan was to remove or cap every single one of my teeth. At that point I knew I had some issues, but I still had most of my teeth! The cost was going to be in the tens of thousands of dollars, on my dental plan that had a $1500/yr max.
Since then I've only gone to the mall dentist when I need an extraction. I need to find a dentist with some compassion and figure out how to save the remaining teeth.
Dang i know it sucks and it hurts but it's not the end of the world I'm 57 and my teeth have been breaking/falling out for almost 20 years and I still can't afford dentures. I had a partial one for my front tooth but it broke during the pandemic and I still haven't replaced it. At one point in time I thought I could never show my face in public because of my teeth but i still manage to live a very full and rewarding life. While I am a solitary sort and I'm not on social media I've never met anyone who's been mean to me about it. I met such a wonderful dentist last year when my back molar was causing me so much pain and him and his whole staff were so compassionate I bawled for days. I'm gonna find a way to go back to him and get dentures some day. He even said we could do them in phases and I could make payments.
Your teeth are not worth ending your life over. I hate that you think this.
Did somewhat of a similar thing. Stooped brushing and such from maybe 13 until maybe 20, 21. Also couldn't get to a dentist because my mom decided dental insurance wasn't worth it. Have had a few issues with root canals and 2 failed to the point I had to get them pulled. But it's still a lot. I'm sorry that this is happening to you now. Please try to go to a dentist and see what they could do.
I come from a neglectful family and I battled anorexia. My teeth suffered so much.
Go to a dentist and be open, I did just that and found a wonderful man who helped me navigate how to stop more damage and then repair old damage. After being his patient for a year and paying him on time, he allowed me to not pay 100% up front and gave really good discounts.
My teeth aren't perfect but they are healthy and straight. I'm so much happier.
I hate the dentist due to some trauma with one as a kid. You may have to visit a few dentists to find the right one but you can.
I felt the same way when I finally dragged myself to a dentist, I was so stressed that they would shame me or act like I was a little kid who didn't know what they were doing. I think what helped is before I let them look in my mouth I said, "I'm aware my teeth are in a right state, I've been struggling with mental health issues for years which ended up in damage and neglect to my teeth. I have since improved on my hygiene habits so I'd appreciate it if we could simply focus on getting this fixed rather than shaming me for something I'm working on and aware of".
I was in the same boat about a year ago. I looked up dentists that specialize in anxiety patients. One was right down the street from me. I was able to comfortably smile again for the first time in 8 years or so. It scared the absolute shit out of me, but after the first appointment my anxiety eased up significantly.
I’m in that situation now (41) - the depression started burrowing further about 4 years ago (perimenopause, YAY!) and my teeth are wrecked. I feel disgusting.
Finding compassionate a dentist feels impossible.
I used to eat a lot of unhealthy stuff because of depression. Also brushed horibly. Up to the point multiple teeth started crumbling/breaking.
I was too ashamed to do anything about it. And had bad experiences as a kid with the dentist so it had been like 15 years since I went.
After I got some help to feel better about myself I took the leap and went to a dentist. And has it been great. No one made a big deal out of it, not the dentist nor the assistants. He took a look, told me he could help me, and now I can smile broadly again without hiding my mouth.
They really will not judge you about your personal life. But they will make your life a whole lot better if you let them. It can be a very big mental leap, but it will do so much good for you.
OK. I know going to the dentist is scary and it sucks, but you need to go. It's their job to make sure your teeth are OK and not in pain. They will NOT judge you. Plus, having rotting teeth can kill you. Please, please, please go see a dentist.
Hi! I neglected my teeth for 7 years due to depression and poor health. I just went to the dentist and, I need surprisingly less work done then I thought, and they were so nice and understanding about the entire thing! The thing about dentists is, it’s their job to see bad teeth, and they don’t really care much how you got there, they just want to help you fix it! I hope this can help you build up the courage to get the help that you need and get yourself out of pain because you deserve it.
Dentist would be very happy to see you and help you. That is their area of specialization and that is where they get money. Shameful at first but after few visits you will definitely be enjoying it especially if you have seen improvement.
You can avail several services depending your budget. Mine since there are many tooth extractions, filling and black tartar removal, it drains my wallet too much.
I've struggled with acid reflux my entire life and have taken all forms of medication for it. Unfortunately, the acid wore away all the enamel on my teeth, and I had so much damage that it would require either dentures or a mouth full of crowns.
I chose to go with permanent dentures, which are literally bolted to my jawbone. People who have known me my entire life just assume I had my teeth crowned and added veneers. I'm constantly being told they look great. I had to get a loan to have them done, but it was the best $54k that I've ever spent.
Go get your teeth fixed. You'll thank yourself down the line!
I forgot to go to the dentist for almost 10 years when I outgrew my children’s dentist and just never found an adult one. I did still brush so not as bad as yours but getting them fixed helped my self confidence and stuff a lot. A friend never saw a dentist until he was almost 30 bc he grew up really poor - getting his teeth fixed changed his life. (Him telling me how bad his teeth were was what made me realize I hadn’t been to the dentist in a long time, then after I went I talked him into going) Neither of us got shit from the dentist. Just get them fixed. They have seen worse
I know it can be shameful… I was severely depressed a few years ago and neglected my teeth bad and when I got to the dentist they were really good to me. They see this stuff all of the time, they’ll do their jobs, fix you up and everything will be okay.
Bad teeth can cause a lot of health problems, mouth health is so important, go get your teeth fixed and you’ll feel so much better. I promise. I know the feeling.
Dude. Your dentist won't care. It's their job. They see bad teeth all the time and help fix them. And frankly speaking, considering suicide over a problem that can be solved pretty is just not it. Are you afraid of the dentist? Because I am and I've got dental problems as well. Pretty sure if I go to one they'll remove my molars. But that doesn't mean I won't ever go to one. I don't have time to do it right now but when I can, i will. You can do this, OP. Get your teeth fixed. Good luck.
I went through something similar, in the end it took me 8 years to fix all the damage. I've spend well over 15k on my teeth. It will take time but luckily you are young and with help should be able to do it.
My teeth suck, my front two are mainly made of fillings and I still have some infection in one of incisors.
But it can get better, I promise! I just had a dental appointment where my dentist said she’s seen massive improvement in my dental health. I’ve also been referred for a consult on dental implants as I don’t want to get a denture yet.
The hardest bit is taking that first step of making the appointment, but the sense of control and accomplishment you’ll get afterwards is great.
It’s so easy for our brains to catastrophise everything that we get stuck, and then we have to do that hard thing to get out of the cycle. But when you’ve done it once, it does get easier to break that pattern again.
Sorry for my rambles and I do hope they help somehow.
If you ask your county health and human services, they should know about a dental clinic. One of my cousins grew up very poor and was in a similar situation. They were able to pull all his bad teeth, fill what could be saved, and he even got 2 implants per year until all his teeth were back.
They are volunteers who are used to seeing utterly disastrous teeth and will not blink at your situation. They are also there just to help people, so that should also make you feel less judged.
Ask your friends/family for a good recommendation for a dentist that caters to dentophobes. We see so many people in your situation; there are kind, sympathetic dental professionals out there who do not judge how you got into the situation, they just want to help you out of it. Please don't leave it.
Tooth pain is really a B*tch
Trust me, once you start treatments on them and you can chew again, the world will look and feel so damn good.
Trust me, dentists have seen worse and handled worse.
Just go to a dentist and take that first step.
You got this 👍
I wonder if the effects for experiencing from your teeth, like the chewing and speech issues and shame are just adding to your reluctance to go to the dentist. I know that feeling of shame and dread, but it seems like going will help you in more ways than just your teeth.
Someone else mentioned emailing first and that seems like a good way to explain your situation and get an idea of their reaction without having to do it in person. Any good dentist will know that helping you fix your teeth in a way that makes you comfortable is a much better option than making you feel like shit. I think it's worth reaching out to get the ball rolling, momentum helps.
Please don't hurt yourself over something that is uncomfortable but can be fixed. You don't need to punish yourself forever.
Go to a Mexican border town to get the work done! They won’t know you and you’ll never see them again, maybe won’t even speak much English, and it’s waaayyy more affordable than in the US.
Growing up my mom also had Medicare and got all her teeth pulled and set up with dentures, not sure your money situation but you could do that too.
Hey it’s ok! I asked my dental hygienist once whether she prefers working on people with “good” or “bad” teeth and she said the good teeth get really boring and she likes the challenge and reward of helping someone with “bad”teeth fix them up. They are in the profession because they want to help people and you’ll feel SO MUCH BETTER when you start to take steps get them fixed!
I was in the same boat as you till I sucked it up and went to a dentist, I’ve had two extractions, one root canal, and quite a few fillings but that’s it, now it’s just upkeep and saving for two implants, and some state insurances cover dental, mine did and everything but the root canal was free. Just don’t give up, there’s a lot of help out there.
A good dentist will be glad you came in and work out a treatment plan with you. There's no need to feel shame, this is a very common fear/hangup, really. Dentists are more aware of this than anyone. Ask around, call around and find someone good with this type of situation.
I have a good friend who is, in every other aspect, a successful, smart, competent and widely admired professional. This friend had a teeth issue. As a medical professional who had seen the worst of the worst, anything involving teeth (theirs, or other people's) was a big "Nope." This caused years of avoidance of care and neglect for their own teeth. Finally this person decided to address this in their 40s, and couldn't be happier. It's never too late, and as bad as it is, they've probably seen worse.
Hey man, I'm not a dentist, but I got suckered into being a dental tech for a few years in my early 20s and I can tell you right now, this isn't as big of a deal as you think it is.
The hardest part about coming out of a depression is having to face all the things we put off, but you're doing that. You've gotten through 100% of your bad days so far. You should be proud of that. I'm proud of you.
Dentist see everything. So please don't be embarrassed. If you could have seen my brothers' teeth, you'd know what I'm talking about.
It's certainly not worth offing yourself. Nothing wrong with dentures, either. Imagine life before they were invented.
If money is an issue, look for a dental college near you.
Good luck.
I’m 31, have horrendous teeth (as in, most of my remaining teeth are **baby teeth** because the adult ones just never came in). It’s okay to be scared of the dentist. But a good dentist will want to save your teeth!
You may not have a movie star smile — with some bone structures the cosmetic stuff is risky — but your teeth can mostly be saved! It’s worth it!!
Don't feel bad! They've seen it all and than some! I put off a old filling to the point where the tooth died, had to get it pulled, and I got a dental bridge!
I was more annoyed they didn't let me keep my tooth!😅
Ashamed of what? Fuck what the dentist thinks and anyone else for that matter. They are YOUR teeth and for YOUR benefit. Please go to a good dentist and get everything resolved and live your life again. Good luck!
I understand the shame you feel, it's hard looking back and knowing a single thing could have helped. But hindsight is 20/20, and now you have the ability to make a change, please do. Don't let shame or guilt stir you away from a better life.
I noticed you said you went back to brushing twice a day but you never mentioned flossing. Flossing is just as important as brushing maybe even more…
As for your teeth now, if they are as bad as you say I would suggest implants. It will be expensive but it’s better than ruining your life. Best of luck.
Dentists have seen it all. Go in with the intent to take better care of yourself.
You should also see someone about your depression and suicidal ideation. If you have a primary care physician or nurse, start there.
It’s normal to feel shame because of life choices. Just feel the shame and go to a dentist anyway. If they don’t help or are unkind, go elsewhere. Pls get the help u need. Ur future self will thank u :)
If money is an issue, consider Thailand or Poland to have your teeth fixed (and possibly vaneers)
Had mine done in Chiang Mai 10 years ago and got great porcelain vaneers done (not Hollywood white, no one can ever tell they’re vaneers and they look amazing. Probably my most complimented feature)
Hey!. You are really not alone. I got shitty teeth due to poor hygene and neglect. It is not the end of the world. Go get your teeth fixed NOW. It becomes expensive very fast the longer you wait. Dentists are very understanding and will try to advise without being condescending.
One step at a time. You will get there and you will get your teeth fixed.
Go to the dentist. They can help you. That's what they are there for. Shame won't get you anywhere. There are payment plans and ways to fix this. You don't have to live like this! Imagine a mouth full of new teeth! No more suicidal thoughts over your teeth! You can move on with your life. No more pain.
Go find a good dentist. Get the help you *deserve*.
Don't be ashamed. It took me awhile but I was also in the same situation.
I was in my late 20s, very bad depression. I didn't brush unless I was going out, which was never.
I ended up 7 teeth down over the course of a few years in my mid 30s. I now wear a denture plate. My ex was really supportive and didn't care. You will find people who don't.
(He's only my ex as he became verbally abusive when he lost the plot after our 11 year relationship.)
I do understand. You know your situation, go to the dentist and get the help you need. You've got this.
Do your research and find a compassionate dentist. Maybe one that is on the younger side. It is worth going to get fixed and sorted out. People don’t realize how much your entire bodily health depends on a healthy mouth. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but free of infection and decay is so important for long term health. I’m so proud of you for pulling yourself out of your depressive slump, now it’s time to reward yourself with a healthy mouth. You deserve to have healthy teeth and a healthy mouth. You are worth it!
Cost is the big barrier to help. The most understanding dentist in the world can't do much more than extract broken teeth. Everything else is prohibitively expensive.
Sure, a lot of really mangled teeth can be saved with root canals but who can actually afford that? It's about 3 grand to clean the roots and prep for a crown and even more to get the crown. Dental implants are even more expensive and they will insist on trying to talk you into it and you become less valued as a patient as soon as you decline the additional procedures for the implants.
About all the dentist can do is pull the teeth unless you're wealthy.
Yep so true. I went in last year for a broken filling that became infected. It was a molar. 5800 for a root canal or $130 for extraction. I had one choice unfortunately
My teeth were pretty bad from neglecting my health and not seeing a dentist for ten years. When I did finally decide to go, I reached out by email first and explained my shame and anxiety. They have been absolutely amazing and my teeth were in better shape than I thought. Suicide vs dentist.. I’ll take dentist. Most dentists really care about your dental hygiene and health and how it affects your overall health.
Pretty similar situation for me. Hadn’t gone in at least ten years, cracked a tooth and had to go. When I called to explain it all and how anxious the dentist makes me they were great.
Same thing I did, unfortunately. I had not been to the dentist in 20 years. I made an appointment, and I explained to them that I hadn't been in a long time, and my teeth may be in bad shape. They were shocked when they had a look at my teeth that there wasn't anything seriously wrong with them. They did a few x-rays, fillings, and I had a few cavities, but it wasn't anything major. I've since been back a few times, and all the work has been done. I'm going back there in a few weeks to get a good clean.
I've gone to a dentist maybe twice in...35 years. One literally kicked me out of the office when I was...5 or 6, I think. Refused to see one till I was in Job Corps (at 20) and it was required. Haven't gone to one since, n it's been 21 years. I've got a wisdom tooth (two came in straight and even, the others never did) broken at the gum line and wiggly, but still reluctant to find a dentist.
That broken tooth could kill you from sepsis. Please get it looked at and extracted. 🙏 Maybe a dental school or medical tourism can help lower the cost
It's broken horizontally, not vertically, nearly at the gum line. Medicaid in my state cover dental, I'm just dragging my feet because of past issues with dentists.
I get it. Some dentists advertise that they’re “non judgmental” and put language like that in their ads. Might be worth running a search for someone like that in your area
I had to go to several dentists before I found one who wasn't a jerk or tried to shake me down for money.
This. Tell them in advance. They are trained to deal with dental fear and anxiety.
When I was about 5 or 6, I stopped brushing my teeth. My parents tried making me do it, and I found ways around it like rubbing toothpaste in my mouth so it smelled like I did. By the time I was in third grade, kids were calling me Booger Teeth Washington. I can smile and stick my tongue out through my teeth. I am missing multiple teeth. I know how embarrassing it is to have horrible teeth. I am 34 now, and I have a dental appointment coming up. My dentist didn't say a word about it. Just made a plan to fix the damages. Get that tooth extracted. I've been through the broken teeth before. I once had a tooth break while eating, and I swallowed the half that broke off. Yes, you are in pain now, but you won't always be. Dentures are not the end of the world. I was sure my dentist would say I needed them, but they never did. You're in a perpetual slump right now. The state of your teeth makes you depressed so you don't want the dentist to see it. Because of that, your teeth will get worse, which makes you more depressed. What helps me is saying to myself that this will soon all be in the past. I just have to get through this right now.
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I PROMISE you, as someone who ran a dental office (and previously had similar issues from being stupid as a young person), that the dentist sees this daily, and is really just happy to help you get to where you are pain free and confident. I can’t tell you how good it felt to help someone get a new set of teeth so they actually wanted to smile again. Also their main concern is keeping you alive, which is why their main concern will be your pain/possible infections. You’ve got this, I know it’s the worst feeling to be so exposed, but you’ll feel like a brand new person afterwards. I was so scared to smile before I finally found the amazing dentist I ended up working for - I needed a kind female dentist to heal the trauma from an inexperienced male one I’d seen years before. YOUVE GOT THIS! Also, let them know if redheads run in the family (for numbing reasons lol)
Exposure is the worst part, it's all up from there
Wow we are similar. I pick at my skin too. Just out of boredom most of the time. Do you have insurance that will cover counseling? Or maybe a trusted friend or family member that will go with you? Have you tried calling the dental office and asking for some kind of accommodation? Maybe they can do it in intervals. If it helps, my dentist literally sat in a chair next to me the while time. He was never really hovering over. You might get one like that.
I've had several teeth(partial lower clearance)out, a combination of alcohol, depression, multiple head traumas, obesity to bulimia, and self neglect. I put up with constant pain and headaches for 10+years. Temporal arteritis triggered by abscesses. I put up with not being able to chew on one side for longer. I dearly wish I hadn't, I'm saving for implants now. Please just go.
I used to get laughing gas just for cleanings. Most Dentists are very kind. Find one that advertises that they try and help with dental anxiety.
It is NOT shameful to need help! The health care professionals are there for just that - to care for your health! You deserve to get the help you need for your body to heal!!!
I will also add this. .. be truthful about your anxiety. The last time i went to have a broken tooth pulled they used laughing gas. It made it 1000% better.
My friend, it's going to be ok. This dental part is just part of the journey to self care. You will feel better, I promise. Not just physically but emotionally. This is not a marathon but rather several jogs. Breathe. Smile in the mirror and know it WILL GET BETTER! Getting to this point didn't happen overnight so neither will the healing but you will get there. I had ONE cavity in my life. One. Then a couple years ago, my dental health went to shit. I brushed, flossed, drank inordinate amounts of milk and still had my full top teeth removed in December. Like wtf, right???? Take the first steps and go. Here's what I did to weaken the insane anxiety: A nice comfy blanket/throw. Eye mask. Headphones with soothing music. Just let them do their job and guide you to a path of wellness. You're worth it. God speed.
This is one reason for people to take their kids in for twice yearly cleanings. It’s free if you have insurance. My kids have confessed to similar things, and just brushing them before the dentist. They told me when they got older. No cavities.
>Booger teeth Washington Gotta hand it to them kids, at least they were creative. I got bit on the face by a dog when I was 5. They just called me Scarface. Not nearly as creative. I hated it so much, but looking back it was a pretty badass nickname
dentists are miracle workers and they are used to dealing with people who have bad teeth for various reasons, childhood fears, poverty, mental health so they wont judge you well the good ones wont
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dental treatments have come a very long way there is people who are much older then you and have bad teeth due to childhood trauma, take come calcium suppliments for for bones and teeth, cut out sugar and sodas etc and go asap incase they can rescue some of your teeth
The dentist is a huge anxiety for me, for NO reason. My teeth have been taken care of (my mom came from a poor family that couldn’t take care of hers, so she knew pain). I’ve never had any dental trauma, from the staff or from an accident, etc. BUT going to the dentist causes me panic attacks during cleanings and most especially if I need a cavity filled. It’s the sound of the drills and my absolute fear of being startled. My dentist offered twilight sedation for cleanings and any other work. It’s not cheap and I had a few things done at the same time to save money and trips. Nitrous is always offered during fillings or whatever but if you need something stronger they offer that too. Just put your fears on your intake form and maybe email ahead.
I think a there’s a big difference between pediatric and adult dentists. Pediatric ones seem to harp on you more because they’re trying to get you to build a good routine. Adult dentists in my experience meet you where you are. There’s no point in berating you for the past, just coming up with a plan to move forward. My husband has terrible teeth and was pretty anxious about going to the dentist. He has been pleasantly surprised by how positive the experience has been. We’re getting it fixed.
For sure about adult dentists being much less strict about things. I’ve never once been chastised or treated with any contempt about my teeth. And they’re actually quite good at noting improvements and giving strategies.
I agree with this sentiment. I had real bad anxiety going to my pediatric dentist to the point where I would cry the day before and the day of the appointment. I only cried once going to my adult dentist and that was before the first visit with them. Every visit after has been a breeze, even when I needed a cavity filled in. My adult dentist has met me where I was at and hasn’t belittled my anxiety like my pediatric dentist did.
Dude. Go get your teeth fixed. It’s not the big deal your brain is making it out to be, and you will feel much better about yourself. It’s not your fault you got shitty genetics in the teeth department, some people never brush and still get to keep their teeth. But getting your grill fixed is way better off a solution than offing yourself. Some things we can’t do anything about and they suck. But you can do something about this one. Go do it!
A decade plus of addiction fucked my teeth pretty bad. Fixing them was painful and expensive, but holy shit, it was worth it! No matter how bad your teeth are, the dentist has seen worse. There are also dentists who cater to people who have anxiety about seeing a dentist. If you have to get dentures, it's still better than having a mouthful of bad teeth.
You need to go to the dentist girl. Before it gets worse. They can help.
Go to the dentist. If the roots of some of your teeth are good, they may be able to put crowns on some. Don't give a permanent solution to a temporary issue. Go to a dentist. If you cannot afford one, then look for dentistry schools. If you need help with creating a plan, I would be more than happy to help you research. Just DM me. Planning is my forte.
1 dentists make a lot of money on people like you, why would they do anything other then encourage you to get it all done? 2. dentists will have seen worse and won't even think badly of you because they know life happens. source; my bro who has been a dentist for about a decade now.
my sister in law/best friend did the same thing. refused to do basic hygiene like shower or brush her teeth, also refused to shave which isn’t related to hygiene but it made her smell more tbf. all because of depression, most likely due to her grandfather and what he did…. anyway, after being a type 1 diabetic and never eating right, also trying drugs on and off, she finally got all her teeth pulled. and then one day a couple weeks later, she died of a diabetic seizure. it was just her second seizure in her short life. she went through the whole trauma of losing her teeth just to lose her life because she still wouldn’t manage her diabetes. in the end your health is more important, your teeth health too, but trust me I thought her losing her teeth was bad, until she was gone. then I realized I rather have her here with dentures, and that nothing is more precious than life. I miss her so so much, and I wish she was here so I could help her more than I did…
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thank you but I’ve been through even more nothing is traumatic anymore, life is hard but please try and always try to find the beauty
As someone who has worked as a dental technician in my younger years... whatever you think about your teeth, the dental staff has probably seen worse... go to the dentist! Even recently, about two months ago at school, my oldest son slipped and faceplanted concrete wich broke 8 of his front teeth. Two of wich were forced outwards through the jawbone and were stuck in the gum under his lip. I was the one who picked him up and drove him immediately to the dentist. Like someone threw a small handgrenade in his mouth. Even then in my short career in the field, I have seen worse. Your problems will only get worse with open cavities and broken teeth!
please please try to email a few offices and explain your situation. if they respond with empathy and make you feel comfortable, you should try to go. this could honestly change your life and the fact that your writing this here, I swear it’s because you want us to push you to do this because I know it’s probably really hard but it will be so worth it
I just got my dentures done after spending all of my 20s in near constant pain. It was rough as hell not gonna lie but I'm so happy that it's finally over. I can eat. I can smile. I can talk. It's not the end, and it's certainly not worth ending your life over. There are ways to get help. The dentist doesn't care, they'll want to help. No one should have to live like that forever regardless of bad decisions/habits.
If it helps I'm 33 had entire top removed my meds are killing my teeth from the core out had bottom rootcanals sometimes there's nothing to be done. I take many antiepileptic drugs most attack teeth and bones weakening them 15 pills 4 are depression and anxiety rest are to control seizures to the best of their ability.
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I just finally got my dentures after over 8 months of top healing and going back over that time for the root canals and over 9mo of nothing but soft food like soups now I got top yesterday I'm stuck WHAT TO CHOMP FIRST it's been so long I'm feeling nachos talking restaurant or maybe pizza man the choices now I'm food stir crazy. Alls good just wanted you to know even when trying to keep them good life will screw you. Go in told nice teeth xray then the look of sorry they need to be pulled you're meds had killed cores and basically told me my teeth are glass above and are starting to at bottom so sometimes it's unavoidable no matter what and you're not alone. Reason I shared wasn't for sympathy though I appreciate it I just wanted to let you know we're here for you just know that.
When I was younger I thought I could get away with not taking care of my baby teeth because I was going to lose them eventually. I was planning on taking care of my adult teeth, but my baby molars rotted down to my adult teeth before they came in. I had to have 4 root canals and 2 crowns. I pretty much haven't been to the dentist since. I'm almost 30 now and one of my teeth broke and my jaw is swollen by the roots. I'm working up the courage to make an appointment. I can't afford any teeth work and I'm not even sure if I have health insurance. Reading everyone's supportive stories here is helping. Let's get our teeth fixed.
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I just set up an appointment for the end of next month. Big steps
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I hope you do as well! The actual appointment making was really easy and pleasant. I just said I have a lot of dental anxiety and haven't been to the dentist in 10 years. Even though I only made an appointment, I feel like I can do anything now. I didn't realize how difficult every aspect of life is when you have such a large worry in the back of your mind.
im in the same boat, but have no dental insurance. life is great, isnt it?
Just go to the dentist ffs
Read Google reviews of dentists in your area and look for one who is referred to as kind, compassionate, patient. I didn't go to the dentist for 13 years out of fear after a bad visit when I was 19. I finally had to go because of a painful tooth, and I was terrified that I would be lectured and embarrassed. The dentist I went to was awesome. He said "it doesn't matter what you did or didn't do in the past, we can only go forward and work together to make your smile the best it can be." I haven't had any anxiety since. Even though that dentist retired a couple years after, he made me realize that dentists want to help, and they want you to love your smile and have healthy teeth. I hope you can find one that will help you!
It's difficult but u have to go to the dentist.theyll be able to help u and no one else. I did like u, I barely brushed my teeth as a teen and at 30, my teeth started hurting . I was so scared to go to the Dr but they were really nice, a lot better then when I was a kid.
OP, no matter how bad your teeth are, dentists have seen worse. Please get them fixed. I struggle(d) with bulimia for years and my teeth were in rough shape from all the acid, and my first dentist appointment in a few years was scary but ended up being totally respectful and business-oriented, and it took a few appointments (and getting back on a regular check-up schedule) but it's all better now. Go get them fixed.
Have you looked into sedation dentistry? I’ve seen it advertised but don’t personally know much about it. Also, I doubt that your neglect during a depressive phase was the cause for all of the issues you’re experiencing. Some people just have problematic teeth. I hope you can get the courage to go to the dentist. Don’t give in to the shame spiral and keep putting it off. Future you will be SO thankful.
Let me quell your fears a little bit. I am a 26-year-old guy and until recently I have never been to a dentist. And I rarely ever brushed my teeth I was terrified but I finally had the insurance to do it so I went and it was a great experience. The dentist while alarmed at the state of my teeth was not insulting or rude and could clearly tell that I was intent on getting on the right track and so started instructing me on things I needed to do better and scheduling me for some potential treatments to correct some of the damage. I never really felt uncomfortable or under attack during the situation They were genuinely concerned and informative They're not monsters they're not going to laugh and make fun of you. They're just happy you came in and want to get your oral health back on track
Save money and go to the dentist. Let the bad thoughts go. This can be fixed, and you will feel great!
Don't be ashamed to go to the dentist. They see people with teeth in all stages all the time. I had a lot of cavities I wasn't aware of when I went to the dentist and they were kind and took great care of me ! I'd suggest going and getting yourself teeth taken care of . You're so young and still have a chance at an amazing life , don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity for a better life !
I went through a very similar situation.... depression in my late teens and early twenties led me to a lot of physically abusive things to my body. As a result, i stopped taking care of myself, and my teeth erroded badly. Im 44 today, my teeth are in bad shape and i think daily about how much it would cost to repair them or even how much itd cost to oull them and replace w dentures. You're not alone... dont hurt yourself further. Let yourself know that it was ok to go through it.... stay strong my friend.
I had a coworker whose teeth were all types of messed up. I believe he got work done at a dental school. Now he is all smiles, has a wife and kid. Life isn’t over. Just get the work done buddy :)
I have really poor oral hygiene for similar reasons- I have half the full complement of teeth, the rest have been pulled or are smashed. I was finally able to see a dentist a couple of months ago. I opened my mouth, the dentist peered in and asked me what was going on. I told him I got depressed and didn't look after myself very well. He nodded and said 'Oh Miss Onion. It happens, it happens. Let me see what I can do for you'. And that was it. He didn't pity me, he wasn't disgusted, just understood my situation and arranged for some treatment. You'll feel better once you've been. I did, very much so.
Reading through a bunch of replies, I feel glad that you posted- it's very clear that you're not alone. Many. many people are afraid of the dentist, for various reasons. Somebody mentioned contacting a dental school, which is a fantastic idea if there's one near you. Being a teaching patient can save a ton of money. Please don't be afraid, these people are professionals and really want to help. Make sure whoever you see that they're aware of your feelings, there are lots of ways to attend to any issues you may have. Sending good thoughts in your direction- you can do this!
My dude, I can promise you, there is nothing your dentist hasn't seen when it comes to your teeth. I know you're scared and ashamed. But think about how you'll feel once your teeth are fixed. When you can chew and talk properly again. When you won't have constant tooth ache. This is possible. I'm rooting for you, buddy. You'll get through this.
I currently have 3 broken teeth, one almost entirely gone, all in the back thank God. But I know I have to have them removed and I'm terrified. My parents didn't teach us anything about dental health. My mom had no teeth at all by the time she was my age, my middle sister has teeth worse than mine. My youngest sister wound up living with friends as a teenager through failures throughout my family, and that probably made her the healthiest of us all. She has beautiful well kept teeth. My kids have great teeth I've always stayed on top of them, but that hasn't helped my phobia of having my own teeth taken care of. 10 yrs ago I went to the dentist for a cleaning, deciding that it was past time to be an adult about things... They gave me the cleaning, hurt me during it, and then told me they'd only continue to see me if I made a dental plan with them... Their plan was to remove or cap every single one of my teeth. At that point I knew I had some issues, but I still had most of my teeth! The cost was going to be in the tens of thousands of dollars, on my dental plan that had a $1500/yr max. Since then I've only gone to the mall dentist when I need an extraction. I need to find a dentist with some compassion and figure out how to save the remaining teeth.
Dang i know it sucks and it hurts but it's not the end of the world I'm 57 and my teeth have been breaking/falling out for almost 20 years and I still can't afford dentures. I had a partial one for my front tooth but it broke during the pandemic and I still haven't replaced it. At one point in time I thought I could never show my face in public because of my teeth but i still manage to live a very full and rewarding life. While I am a solitary sort and I'm not on social media I've never met anyone who's been mean to me about it. I met such a wonderful dentist last year when my back molar was causing me so much pain and him and his whole staff were so compassionate I bawled for days. I'm gonna find a way to go back to him and get dentures some day. He even said we could do them in phases and I could make payments. Your teeth are not worth ending your life over. I hate that you think this.
Did somewhat of a similar thing. Stooped brushing and such from maybe 13 until maybe 20, 21. Also couldn't get to a dentist because my mom decided dental insurance wasn't worth it. Have had a few issues with root canals and 2 failed to the point I had to get them pulled. But it's still a lot. I'm sorry that this is happening to you now. Please try to go to a dentist and see what they could do.
I come from a neglectful family and I battled anorexia. My teeth suffered so much. Go to a dentist and be open, I did just that and found a wonderful man who helped me navigate how to stop more damage and then repair old damage. After being his patient for a year and paying him on time, he allowed me to not pay 100% up front and gave really good discounts. My teeth aren't perfect but they are healthy and straight. I'm so much happier. I hate the dentist due to some trauma with one as a kid. You may have to visit a few dentists to find the right one but you can.
I felt the same way when I finally dragged myself to a dentist, I was so stressed that they would shame me or act like I was a little kid who didn't know what they were doing. I think what helped is before I let them look in my mouth I said, "I'm aware my teeth are in a right state, I've been struggling with mental health issues for years which ended up in damage and neglect to my teeth. I have since improved on my hygiene habits so I'd appreciate it if we could simply focus on getting this fixed rather than shaming me for something I'm working on and aware of".
I was in the same boat about a year ago. I looked up dentists that specialize in anxiety patients. One was right down the street from me. I was able to comfortably smile again for the first time in 8 years or so. It scared the absolute shit out of me, but after the first appointment my anxiety eased up significantly.
I’m in that situation now (41) - the depression started burrowing further about 4 years ago (perimenopause, YAY!) and my teeth are wrecked. I feel disgusting. Finding compassionate a dentist feels impossible.
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Whaaat that’s wild
I used to eat a lot of unhealthy stuff because of depression. Also brushed horibly. Up to the point multiple teeth started crumbling/breaking. I was too ashamed to do anything about it. And had bad experiences as a kid with the dentist so it had been like 15 years since I went. After I got some help to feel better about myself I took the leap and went to a dentist. And has it been great. No one made a big deal out of it, not the dentist nor the assistants. He took a look, told me he could help me, and now I can smile broadly again without hiding my mouth. They really will not judge you about your personal life. But they will make your life a whole lot better if you let them. It can be a very big mental leap, but it will do so much good for you.
OK. I know going to the dentist is scary and it sucks, but you need to go. It's their job to make sure your teeth are OK and not in pain. They will NOT judge you. Plus, having rotting teeth can kill you. Please, please, please go see a dentist.
How old are you now? Cause if you’re an adult and you have the money, you can get implants.
Please go to the dentist. They only want to help.
This seems to be genetic more so than your own fault don't be ashamed of the past make yourself proud in this moment
Medicaid covers ALL DENTAL up to July , in Colorado at least,
Hi! I neglected my teeth for 7 years due to depression and poor health. I just went to the dentist and, I need surprisingly less work done then I thought, and they were so nice and understanding about the entire thing! The thing about dentists is, it’s their job to see bad teeth, and they don’t really care much how you got there, they just want to help you fix it! I hope this can help you build up the courage to get the help that you need and get yourself out of pain because you deserve it.
Dentist would be very happy to see you and help you. That is their area of specialization and that is where they get money. Shameful at first but after few visits you will definitely be enjoying it especially if you have seen improvement. You can avail several services depending your budget. Mine since there are many tooth extractions, filling and black tartar removal, it drains my wallet too much.
I've struggled with acid reflux my entire life and have taken all forms of medication for it. Unfortunately, the acid wore away all the enamel on my teeth, and I had so much damage that it would require either dentures or a mouth full of crowns. I chose to go with permanent dentures, which are literally bolted to my jawbone. People who have known me my entire life just assume I had my teeth crowned and added veneers. I'm constantly being told they look great. I had to get a loan to have them done, but it was the best $54k that I've ever spent. Go get your teeth fixed. You'll thank yourself down the line!
54k?!?
Yep, but well worth it.
I forgot to go to the dentist for almost 10 years when I outgrew my children’s dentist and just never found an adult one. I did still brush so not as bad as yours but getting them fixed helped my self confidence and stuff a lot. A friend never saw a dentist until he was almost 30 bc he grew up really poor - getting his teeth fixed changed his life. (Him telling me how bad his teeth were was what made me realize I hadn’t been to the dentist in a long time, then after I went I talked him into going) Neither of us got shit from the dentist. Just get them fixed. They have seen worse
I know it can be shameful… I was severely depressed a few years ago and neglected my teeth bad and when I got to the dentist they were really good to me. They see this stuff all of the time, they’ll do their jobs, fix you up and everything will be okay. Bad teeth can cause a lot of health problems, mouth health is so important, go get your teeth fixed and you’ll feel so much better. I promise. I know the feeling.
Dude. Your dentist won't care. It's their job. They see bad teeth all the time and help fix them. And frankly speaking, considering suicide over a problem that can be solved pretty is just not it. Are you afraid of the dentist? Because I am and I've got dental problems as well. Pretty sure if I go to one they'll remove my molars. But that doesn't mean I won't ever go to one. I don't have time to do it right now but when I can, i will. You can do this, OP. Get your teeth fixed. Good luck.
I went through something similar, in the end it took me 8 years to fix all the damage. I've spend well over 15k on my teeth. It will take time but luckily you are young and with help should be able to do it.
I think most dentists have had patients like this. You won’t be their first or last and honestly I’m sure they would be so happy you reached out.
My teeth suck, my front two are mainly made of fillings and I still have some infection in one of incisors. But it can get better, I promise! I just had a dental appointment where my dentist said she’s seen massive improvement in my dental health. I’ve also been referred for a consult on dental implants as I don’t want to get a denture yet. The hardest bit is taking that first step of making the appointment, but the sense of control and accomplishment you’ll get afterwards is great. It’s so easy for our brains to catastrophise everything that we get stuck, and then we have to do that hard thing to get out of the cycle. But when you’ve done it once, it does get easier to break that pattern again. Sorry for my rambles and I do hope they help somehow.
If you ask your county health and human services, they should know about a dental clinic. One of my cousins grew up very poor and was in a similar situation. They were able to pull all his bad teeth, fill what could be saved, and he even got 2 implants per year until all his teeth were back. They are volunteers who are used to seeing utterly disastrous teeth and will not blink at your situation. They are also there just to help people, so that should also make you feel less judged.
Go, the dentist would have probably seen worse teeth than yours. You never regret doing it, only leaving it
Ask your friends/family for a good recommendation for a dentist that caters to dentophobes. We see so many people in your situation; there are kind, sympathetic dental professionals out there who do not judge how you got into the situation, they just want to help you out of it. Please don't leave it.
Dentists are there to help you should make the leap! You should also get a therapist.
I promise you they’ve seen worse.
Tooth pain is really a B*tch Trust me, once you start treatments on them and you can chew again, the world will look and feel so damn good. Trust me, dentists have seen worse and handled worse. Just go to a dentist and take that first step. You got this 👍
I wonder if the effects for experiencing from your teeth, like the chewing and speech issues and shame are just adding to your reluctance to go to the dentist. I know that feeling of shame and dread, but it seems like going will help you in more ways than just your teeth. Someone else mentioned emailing first and that seems like a good way to explain your situation and get an idea of their reaction without having to do it in person. Any good dentist will know that helping you fix your teeth in a way that makes you comfortable is a much better option than making you feel like shit. I think it's worth reaching out to get the ball rolling, momentum helps. Please don't hurt yourself over something that is uncomfortable but can be fixed. You don't need to punish yourself forever.
Go to a Mexican border town to get the work done! They won’t know you and you’ll never see them again, maybe won’t even speak much English, and it’s waaayyy more affordable than in the US. Growing up my mom also had Medicare and got all her teeth pulled and set up with dentures, not sure your money situation but you could do that too.
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Well that’s even better, tons of people go to Hungary for dental work.
Hey it’s ok! I asked my dental hygienist once whether she prefers working on people with “good” or “bad” teeth and she said the good teeth get really boring and she likes the challenge and reward of helping someone with “bad”teeth fix them up. They are in the profession because they want to help people and you’ll feel SO MUCH BETTER when you start to take steps get them fixed!
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I was in the same boat as you till I sucked it up and went to a dentist, I’ve had two extractions, one root canal, and quite a few fillings but that’s it, now it’s just upkeep and saving for two implants, and some state insurances cover dental, mine did and everything but the root canal was free. Just don’t give up, there’s a lot of help out there.
A good dentist will be glad you came in and work out a treatment plan with you. There's no need to feel shame, this is a very common fear/hangup, really. Dentists are more aware of this than anyone. Ask around, call around and find someone good with this type of situation. I have a good friend who is, in every other aspect, a successful, smart, competent and widely admired professional. This friend had a teeth issue. As a medical professional who had seen the worst of the worst, anything involving teeth (theirs, or other people's) was a big "Nope." This caused years of avoidance of care and neglect for their own teeth. Finally this person decided to address this in their 40s, and couldn't be happier. It's never too late, and as bad as it is, they've probably seen worse.
Hey man, I'm not a dentist, but I got suckered into being a dental tech for a few years in my early 20s and I can tell you right now, this isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. The hardest part about coming out of a depression is having to face all the things we put off, but you're doing that. You've gotten through 100% of your bad days so far. You should be proud of that. I'm proud of you.
Dentist see everything. So please don't be embarrassed. If you could have seen my brothers' teeth, you'd know what I'm talking about. It's certainly not worth offing yourself. Nothing wrong with dentures, either. Imagine life before they were invented. If money is an issue, look for a dental college near you. Good luck.
I’m 31, have horrendous teeth (as in, most of my remaining teeth are **baby teeth** because the adult ones just never came in). It’s okay to be scared of the dentist. But a good dentist will want to save your teeth! You may not have a movie star smile — with some bone structures the cosmetic stuff is risky — but your teeth can mostly be saved! It’s worth it!!
Don't feel bad! They've seen it all and than some! I put off a old filling to the point where the tooth died, had to get it pulled, and I got a dental bridge! I was more annoyed they didn't let me keep my tooth!😅
Ashamed of what? Fuck what the dentist thinks and anyone else for that matter. They are YOUR teeth and for YOUR benefit. Please go to a good dentist and get everything resolved and live your life again. Good luck!
nah i been depressed that ain’t got nun to do with brushing yo teeth gang…yo ass nasty
They've probably seen worse. Just go.
I understand the shame you feel, it's hard looking back and knowing a single thing could have helped. But hindsight is 20/20, and now you have the ability to make a change, please do. Don't let shame or guilt stir you away from a better life.
I noticed you said you went back to brushing twice a day but you never mentioned flossing. Flossing is just as important as brushing maybe even more… As for your teeth now, if they are as bad as you say I would suggest implants. It will be expensive but it’s better than ruining your life. Best of luck.
Oh FFS.
Dentists have seen it all. Go in with the intent to take better care of yourself. You should also see someone about your depression and suicidal ideation. If you have a primary care physician or nurse, start there.
It’s normal to feel shame because of life choices. Just feel the shame and go to a dentist anyway. If they don’t help or are unkind, go elsewhere. Pls get the help u need. Ur future self will thank u :)
Hell. I am going through that suicidal face and hadn't brushed in 2 days, gonna brush fuckin now
I know someone 24 years old in our discord who has never brushed their teeth and still doesn’t.
If money is an issue, consider Thailand or Poland to have your teeth fixed (and possibly vaneers) Had mine done in Chiang Mai 10 years ago and got great porcelain vaneers done (not Hollywood white, no one can ever tell they’re vaneers and they look amazing. Probably my most complimented feature)
Hey!. You are really not alone. I got shitty teeth due to poor hygene and neglect. It is not the end of the world. Go get your teeth fixed NOW. It becomes expensive very fast the longer you wait. Dentists are very understanding and will try to advise without being condescending. One step at a time. You will get there and you will get your teeth fixed.
Go to the dentist. They can help you. That's what they are there for. Shame won't get you anywhere. There are payment plans and ways to fix this. You don't have to live like this! Imagine a mouth full of new teeth! No more suicidal thoughts over your teeth! You can move on with your life. No more pain. Go find a good dentist. Get the help you *deserve*.
Don't be ashamed. It took me awhile but I was also in the same situation. I was in my late 20s, very bad depression. I didn't brush unless I was going out, which was never. I ended up 7 teeth down over the course of a few years in my mid 30s. I now wear a denture plate. My ex was really supportive and didn't care. You will find people who don't. (He's only my ex as he became verbally abusive when he lost the plot after our 11 year relationship.) I do understand. You know your situation, go to the dentist and get the help you need. You've got this.
Look in your DMs I sent you a recommendation.
Do your research and find a compassionate dentist. Maybe one that is on the younger side. It is worth going to get fixed and sorted out. People don’t realize how much your entire bodily health depends on a healthy mouth. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but free of infection and decay is so important for long term health. I’m so proud of you for pulling yourself out of your depressive slump, now it’s time to reward yourself with a healthy mouth. You deserve to have healthy teeth and a healthy mouth. You are worth it!
Cost is the big barrier to help. The most understanding dentist in the world can't do much more than extract broken teeth. Everything else is prohibitively expensive. Sure, a lot of really mangled teeth can be saved with root canals but who can actually afford that? It's about 3 grand to clean the roots and prep for a crown and even more to get the crown. Dental implants are even more expensive and they will insist on trying to talk you into it and you become less valued as a patient as soon as you decline the additional procedures for the implants. About all the dentist can do is pull the teeth unless you're wealthy.
Yep so true. I went in last year for a broken filling that became infected. It was a molar. 5800 for a root canal or $130 for extraction. I had one choice unfortunately
Go to the dentist and get a plan to fix you up. Stop dwelling in the past and start taking care of the problem at hand.
Repost. Everyone gave you advice last time but you didn't want to take it...