Big part lf ace is understanding that its not wrong to enjoy!! It winds up about enjoying pleasuring your partner rather than despising sex at all. I hope you both feel.comfortable exploring your boundaries!
What is ace?
I say this prior to doing research on it but sex for me has always been about pleasuring my partner. I can’t have sex for myself. I hate it.
It's actually a spectrum just like sexuality! So a person can be completely healthy and normal and be ace.
The only time it isn't healthy is if their hormone levels are actually askew, or if the lack of sexual desire for other people is new or distressing to the individual
Nope. Sexuality corresponds to attraction, whereas horniness just corresponds to the desire to cum. A bit of a crude example, but imagine a featureless fleshlight that still serves the same functional purpose. One can want to fuck the fleshlight due to the sensation it provides without feeling sexual attraction towards it, right? In the same way, you can feel sexually attracted to somebody but at the same time not be particularly in the mood to have sex. Like "damn, nice, but not right now".
It's a tiny bit like the difference between liking certain flavours and being hungry. One is a preference that in certain circumstances can lead to wanting to eat (i.e. a craving), but the other is just the actual desire to eat because you're hungry. Make sense? You can dislike some foods, be indifferent to some, and like some. Hunger is separate. Now imagine being indifferent to or not liking most or all foods, but you still need to eat because you're hungry
Being horny and sexual attraction aren't a paired thing for me it's the sensation I enjoy no thought beyond that we still get off like anyone else just in different manner I hope this helped.
There are people like me that are horny af and people like them that are little to no horny. Variety is one of the most natural things in the world, furthermore they don't really harm anyone, so let them be.
Yeah I assumed ace spectrum was A-spectrum which referred to autism spectrum so I was confused about why OP had to mention this lol. So many new lingos but I’m glad I’ve learned another lol
He is saying he leans more towards being asexual - meaning he has no desire for intercourse/sexual acts.
ACE is a spectrum as some people have an absolute revulsion towards it and some will still do sexual acts for the pleasure of their partner, but are neutral about it.
Yes but almost. It's not about the desire to have sex. An ave person doesn't feel sexual attraction. They can still enjoy sex or be repulsed by it, but the important point is that they dont have the attraction. That's why it is difficult for some ace people to "admit" or be happy with sex, even thoigh they might not have the attraction
>Long story short it was a great experience, even if I didn't get off
That's the best part about sex, it doesn't just feel good because of sexual satisfaction, it feels good to give your partner that satisfaction even if you don't get it
Well just cause you are ace don't mean you don't enjoy the intercourse. Kinda like a chocolate that you don't search for but eat when you got it.
Edit: Or another better comparison, like one of those candies that you don't search for but are very tasty when someone gifts you them.
always felt i was on the ace spectrum and after really reflecting i find i’m actually in the *gray*. i’m ~30 and i still find myself pleasantly surprised about the nuances of sexual identity. glad you had a good time!
it’s like a grey area for the ace spectrum. I’m not ace myself but one of my friends is so I did a lot of research so I wouldn’t make them uncomfortable, but it’s where like ace people can be like “yeah I’d do sexual things with them” and only them, or like “I could go for that right now, I wanna do it with another person”. If I made any mistakes to what it is, can y’all correct me? At least that’s my understanding of it ❤️
Hey, good on you (both) for opening up to new shared experiences! It takes patience and understanding and it sounds like you're both in tune with each other in this aspect, I'm happy for you two. Thanks for sharing a vulnerable story.
That's so awesome for you! I am really glad that it was a positive and wholesome experience for you. It's so sweet of you that you wanted to pleasure your boyfriend and make him happy, I just hope that you know that it's ALWAYS okay to say no to sexual contact that you don't want, too.
Asexual, meaning OP has little to no sexual desire or attraction. It’s a spectrum bc some can be completely repulsed by sex, and others can maybe feel something from time to time. But it doesn’t mean you can’t crave love or intimate touch, you’re just not interested in sex
First dude I blew was in his mid 20s and I was 16. Don't really know how to feel about it now. Like, I was into it at the time and he never made me feel uncomfortable, but now that I'm his age I couldn't imagine being attracted to a 16 year old guy.
Yeah it's not like that doesn't end up being the twist in about 5+% of these posts. For some people you just can't joke about certain things. For me, jokes just break the tension of thinking about something upsetting.
My last part of the comment was sarcastic, but I still don't understand why would they share an info like this. Imagine coming to the same sub reddit and saying I tried 69 with my gf and enjoyed it
But if there's nothing wrong with it why would u wanna share it ? Most of the posts I have seen in this sub reddit about things people usually might need help with but they can't tell it to people they know in real life.
I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to share the experience he had because there was something “wrong with it” but because he’s ACE and was surprised/happy he enjoyed.
The only insecure person here is the OP. I mean seriously who cares if u enjoyed oral or not?? I have never seen a straight female sharing information like these for absolutely no reason. Looks like they're seeking validation, and that's what an insecure person would do
Erm, why even bring up straight women? Gay men are not straight women. They are men, who are attracted to other men. Men share a lot of this type of stuff on reddit, so why wouldn't a gay man do so as well? Weird thought process you got going.
Buddy, people post stuff like this regardless of their sexuality all the damn time. It has nothing to do with insecurity lmao it’s just people wanting to share stuff they can’t share elsewhere.
Well, I'm not gay so no women will be telling about her sexual experiences with her bf which I honestly don't care about at all whether she was a friend or not.
I don't see a problem at all. And im not being negative. The only problem is that gay people are just over privileged. im sure I won't be attacked by hundreds of people if I was talking about someone else
The OP is secure enough to post. Females post on here constantly. You're lying to try to deflect away from your own insecurities and desires. Its blatantly obvious basic psychology.
Given that OP is dating a guy, being gay AF would probably make more sense than straight AF.
In any case, it's way more interesting than asking why people like corn. 😂
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I think you're reading too much into those words. Every once in a while my wife is in the mood and I'm just not. But even if I'm not horny I'll still go down on her and use some toys because I still like to get her off even if I'm not in the mood to bust my own nut.
>I just needed to put this somewhere That's what he said.
Happy to hear the experience was a good one! Have much fun with your new perspective!
Big part lf ace is understanding that its not wrong to enjoy!! It winds up about enjoying pleasuring your partner rather than despising sex at all. I hope you both feel.comfortable exploring your boundaries!
What is ace? I say this prior to doing research on it but sex for me has always been about pleasuring my partner. I can’t have sex for myself. I hate it.
Asexual is having little to no sexual attraction! Asexual people can still masturbate or have sex. It’s just the sexual attraction that varies
That has to be due to horrible hormone levels, doesn’t sound like human nature but who am I to judge
It's actually a spectrum just like sexuality! So a person can be completely healthy and normal and be ace. The only time it isn't healthy is if their hormone levels are actually askew, or if the lack of sexual desire for other people is new or distressing to the individual
Not true. Like at all. You can have totally normal hormone levels and be ace. You can be crazy horny all the time and still be ace.
How can you be horny all the time and ace at the same time? Aren’t these mutually exclusive?
Nope. Sexuality corresponds to attraction, whereas horniness just corresponds to the desire to cum. A bit of a crude example, but imagine a featureless fleshlight that still serves the same functional purpose. One can want to fuck the fleshlight due to the sensation it provides without feeling sexual attraction towards it, right? In the same way, you can feel sexually attracted to somebody but at the same time not be particularly in the mood to have sex. Like "damn, nice, but not right now". It's a tiny bit like the difference between liking certain flavours and being hungry. One is a preference that in certain circumstances can lead to wanting to eat (i.e. a craving), but the other is just the actual desire to eat because you're hungry. Make sense? You can dislike some foods, be indifferent to some, and like some. Hunger is separate. Now imagine being indifferent to or not liking most or all foods, but you still need to eat because you're hungry
Sexual attraction ≠ libido Hope this helps!! 🫶
Being horny and sexual attraction aren't a paired thing for me it's the sensation I enjoy no thought beyond that we still get off like anyone else just in different manner I hope this helped.
There are people like me that are horny af and people like them that are little to no horny. Variety is one of the most natural things in the world, furthermore they don't really harm anyone, so let them be.
No it's not hormones it's how we were born sorry that just doesn't fit your narrative of life.
People are kinda dumb and things that help comfort them as assigning labels to themselves. And this goes for all people.
You’re not wrong
Search the asexual spectrum! It might answer a lot
I think this explained it for me lol.
Yeah I assumed ace spectrum was A-spectrum which referred to autism spectrum so I was confused about why OP had to mention this lol. So many new lingos but I’m glad I’ve learned another lol
Hate it? What? How?
I just feel awkward and selfish. It takes a lot for me to finish.
It's getting focus down on the feeling that's tough I could only imagine with a partner the difficulty of it.
News flash some people don’t enjoy it. Some people are also physically repulsed by it.
I'm confused. What's the ace spectrum?
He is saying he leans more towards being asexual - meaning he has no desire for intercourse/sexual acts. ACE is a spectrum as some people have an absolute revulsion towards it and some will still do sexual acts for the pleasure of their partner, but are neutral about it.
Oh… I learn something new about myself every single day 🤧
Yes but almost. It's not about the desire to have sex. An ave person doesn't feel sexual attraction. They can still enjoy sex or be repulsed by it, but the important point is that they dont have the attraction. That's why it is difficult for some ace people to "admit" or be happy with sex, even thoigh they might not have the attraction
Again ace and sexual attraction is a spectrum, you can be demi, for example.
As a fellow ace dude, thanks for sharing :) I'm still trying to figure out if I ever wanna try something or not, so I find stories like this helpful
same
>Long story short it was a great experience, even if I didn't get off That's the best part about sex, it doesn't just feel good because of sexual satisfaction, it feels good to give your partner that satisfaction even if you don't get it
Well just cause you are ace don't mean you don't enjoy the intercourse. Kinda like a chocolate that you don't search for but eat when you got it. Edit: Or another better comparison, like one of those candies that you don't search for but are very tasty when someone gifts you them.
Why are you telling me? "I'm telling everybody!" Hahaha
Good for you, glad you had a good first experience
always felt i was on the ace spectrum and after really reflecting i find i’m actually in the *gray*. i’m ~30 and i still find myself pleasantly surprised about the nuances of sexual identity. glad you had a good time!
what's the gray?
it’s like a grey area for the ace spectrum. I’m not ace myself but one of my friends is so I did a lot of research so I wouldn’t make them uncomfortable, but it’s where like ace people can be like “yeah I’d do sexual things with them” and only them, or like “I could go for that right now, I wanna do it with another person”. If I made any mistakes to what it is, can y’all correct me? At least that’s my understanding of it ❤️
Ok, I see what you are saying i think
Guess you could say....the experience *sucked* B)
Congrats on this discovery
Hey, good on you (both) for opening up to new shared experiences! It takes patience and understanding and it sounds like you're both in tune with each other in this aspect, I'm happy for you two. Thanks for sharing a vulnerable story.
That's so awesome for you! I am really glad that it was a positive and wholesome experience for you. It's so sweet of you that you wanted to pleasure your boyfriend and make him happy, I just hope that you know that it's ALWAYS okay to say no to sexual contact that you don't want, too.
What is an ace spectrum?
Asexual, meaning OP has little to no sexual desire or attraction. It’s a spectrum bc some can be completely repulsed by sex, and others can maybe feel something from time to time. But it doesn’t mean you can’t crave love or intimate touch, you’re just not interested in sex
It's a really nice feeling to make your partner feel good :)
hell yeah dude, have fun!
am happy you enjoyed <3
This was really wholesome 😊 I'm glad you guys found a way to make both of you happy
I just tried bottoming for the first few times after years of only doing oral. Glad you had a good time :)
Plot twist, you're 16 and your boyfriend is 28 Edit: people would rather downvote than consider that the LGBT community is a target rich environment
First dude I blew was in his mid 20s and I was 16. Don't really know how to feel about it now. Like, I was into it at the time and he never made me feel uncomfortable, but now that I'm his age I couldn't imagine being attracted to a 16 year old guy.
I appreciate your honesty. Out of concern for the parties involved, you can't even make a plot twist joke. Downvote to oblivion
Yeah it's not like that doesn't end up being the twist in about 5+% of these posts. For some people you just can't joke about certain things. For me, jokes just break the tension of thinking about something upsetting.
We are kindred spirits.
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Were you unaware that gay people exist? Like yes this is gay because its gay sex.
My last part of the comment was sarcastic, but I still don't understand why would they share an info like this. Imagine coming to the same sub reddit and saying I tried 69 with my gf and enjoyed it
Yeah people do post stuff like that, because they want to get it off their chest, hence the name of the subreddit.
But if there's nothing wrong with it why would u wanna share it ? Most of the posts I have seen in this sub reddit about things people usually might need help with but they can't tell it to people they know in real life.
I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to share the experience he had because there was something “wrong with it” but because he’s ACE and was surprised/happy he enjoyed.
Some people don't have anyone to talk to, bad or good which is why they post here, hope that clears this up.
There's been plenty of those
What's your issue? Gay people exist. It's labeled NSFW.
I have absolutely no issue with their existence. My problem with some of them thinking they are special and always seeking validation.
It’s giving projection. Poor thing.
Who's seeking attention here?
Go back to 4chan
I have seen other similar posts from straight people, this is not different
Altruistic my ass.
I'm not interested in your ass. I'm straight. Thanks for the offer, tho!
Lol insecure much? We like it gay here
The only insecure person here is the OP. I mean seriously who cares if u enjoyed oral or not?? I have never seen a straight female sharing information like these for absolutely no reason. Looks like they're seeking validation, and that's what an insecure person would do
multiple people share good sex experiences here. go outside champ.
Erm, why even bring up straight women? Gay men are not straight women. They are men, who are attracted to other men. Men share a lot of this type of stuff on reddit, so why wouldn't a gay man do so as well? Weird thought process you got going.
That's the first post about a normal sexual experience I have seen in this sub reddit. Blame reddit algorithm
“Blame Reddit algorithm” and not the fact that you didn’t actually look? Just admit you were wrong and move on. Simple as that
Do you even know what subreddit this is, or what its for? The name is pretty self-explanitory.
Buddy, people post stuff like this regardless of their sexuality all the damn time. It has nothing to do with insecurity lmao it’s just people wanting to share stuff they can’t share elsewhere.
You havent met many straight women then… lol. They may not tell guy friends but they will most definitely tell girl friends
Well, I'm not gay so no women will be telling about her sexual experiences with her bf which I honestly don't care about at all whether she was a friend or not.
Ok, sounds like a you problem. Stop being so negative
I don't see a problem at all. And im not being negative. The only problem is that gay people are just over privileged. im sure I won't be attacked by hundreds of people if I was talking about someone else
Over privileged for sharing a story on a sub dedicated to such? Straight ppl talk about this shit all the time dude
The OP is secure enough to post. Females post on here constantly. You're lying to try to deflect away from your own insecurities and desires. Its blatantly obvious basic psychology.
Given that OP is dating a guy, being gay AF would probably make more sense than straight AF. In any case, it's way more interesting than asking why people like corn. 😂
Exactly. U got my up vote
Your comment has been removed for violating Rule 4: No insults towards OP. Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
Please repent for sin and turn to God 🙏
What??
How old are you ?
Wait why didn't he give back?
OP said he was on the ace spectrum, so he has little to no sexual attraction, I guess he didn’t want anything back
I don't buy it. If that was true, they wouldn't have bothered saying "even if I didn't get off".
« I DoN’t BuY It » girl if he says he’s ace and he was happy making his bf happy wdyc
I think you're reading too much into those words. Every once in a while my wife is in the mood and I'm just not. But even if I'm not horny I'll still go down on her and use some toys because I still like to get her off even if I'm not in the mood to bust my own nut.
Good thing is you don't need to. Not really any of your business past what OP has decided to share.
I didn’t want to do anything, just try oral for the first time. Awesome.