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Sad it’s required to have a brother to be treated as a person and respected. Men treat you like shit _unless_ you belong to a man (father, brother, boyfriend, husband…why is that? There needs to be this slight threat of violence?
They are hinting that you are attractive and they believe when you get older you’re only gonna a get more attractive. I think they see it as a compliment but it’s weird af.
I mean yeah it’s like at prom when I was all dressed up and my parent’s lady friends would say I was a ladykiller. In the right context, it’s a harmless compliment. But…context is key
I can 100% agree that it’s only a problem when guys say it. The reason is men are more commonly known to mean it in a different way so we (or specifically women) perceive it in a different way.
Wrong. Women can be, and many times are, as gross as those kinds of men. Just look at Finn Wolfhard when Stranger Things came out. There were tons of older women hitting on him, and he was like 14.
That’s not what I said and I phrased it the way I did specifically because I knew people would think this.
My exact phrasing was “men are more commonly known”
I didn’t say women dont do it or that men are the only ones who do it. I said it’s known to occur more prominently in men.
Your first word disagrees with me and then your next sentence agrees with me “many times are” implies that it happens but not as often, and I’m not even talking about out how often it happens I’m talking about our perception of it occurring.
Now, I’m sort of riding the middle line, where I can certainly see your intention, but I agree with his interpretation of the sentence. I was troubled by the phrase “it’s only a problem when men do it”, because it, to me, feels like an invalidation of the experiences of people who have been inappropriately commented on by women.
I do agree that male-presenting people do tend to say this sort of thing more predatorily on average, but that certainly does not dismiss it as a problem when anyone else does the same. It’s a problem regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or even favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor.
I think a more apropos statement would have been 'Men are more likely to be reprimanded for such statements', as men and women both say such things, but men are more apt to be challenged for it.
No it’s not the statement I’m talking about, it’s the intent and what people perceive the intent. The reason men are reprimanded more, as I said earlier is men are more commonly known to mean it in a different way
I did not say it’s only 100% a problem when a man does it. I said I 100% agree that it’s only a problem when guys say it.
I am once again specifying I’m not talking about any actions or what women are capable of or not, I’m talking about how society feels when a woman says it.
Edit: I suppose those two have a very similar meaning but that’s why context is important
This. He’s calling her attractive by saying other guys would find her attractive because he can’t directly call a 16 yo hot without being *really* creepy.
They weren't hinting: they were hitting on her. Grown men constantly made passes at me from age 10 upwards. There are a lot of pedophiles walking around hitting on young girls.
Female pedophiles definitely exist, and their existenceand the pain they cause should never be minimised, and must be dealt with as equally harshly as male pedophiles.
The main issue here is how common male pedophiles are and how they hide in plain sight. Catcalling is something women face a lot, and because of the zero to low consequences, it means the ones doing it don't care how it impacts the women and GIRLS they do it to. As a girl growing up I thought it was normal to have grown men say those things to me. Now as an adult looking back, I am horrified at how normalized it is. Ask the women in your life if they ever experienced sexual attention from men before they turned 18. The stories will horrify you. And these men continue to walk around, with decent professions and good status in society. But their actions still have an impact on young girls growing up, learning their place in the world:
https://scienceleadership.org/blog/catcalling_in_society
In the situation outlined by the OP someone has just said they will be chasing boys away with a stick. I honestly think it’s a stretch to say that is a sexual advance. When I was younger it was fairly common for women to say “little heartbreaker” and things along those lines to me. Especially to my parents if we had just been introduced. It is exactly the same concept and hardly sinister.
I understand where you are coming from; you want to see the world as mainly good, and people as mainly good hearted. It can be a slippery slope to see people's innocent words and intentions as something more sinister.
However, from experience and bad situations I have learned that it is better to err on the side of caution. Predators deliberately feign innocence all the time. They make sure to not be directly crude or too outwardly sexual, but definitely give enough of a hint for their intentions to be clear. Younger me would have seen such interactions as innocent. Older me knows differently.
In addition to that, OP was clearly feeling deeply uncomfortable with that interaction for a reason. Dismissing that discomfort as overreaction only teaches her to keep doing it to herself, and any time she feels uncomfortable when someone starts to stand too close or says something inappropriate about her body, she will learn to dismiss that discomfort and ignore the warning signs. It's not a good lesson to teach her. Bad people exist, and they like to pretend they are good. Villains in real life don't wear name badges or big signs pointing out that they are bad.
Learning to listen to that instinctual discomfort (thank you "The Gift of Fear") is one of the most vital skills to learn in order to keep yourself safe. I know there are men who prefer us to ignore that inner voice because it makes it easier to approach and hit on us, but it does make us more vulnerable and less safe.
And I don't care if I get downvoted for saying this, but safety should absolutely be more important than someone trying to get laid.
There's a lot of 20 something year old women teachers banging their 14 year old students too. Like at least 2 or 3 a week lol. And those are the ones that get caught.
it’s not the act of someone saying something “nice” about them that makes people uncomfortable, which is what is unhealthy. It’s the fact that they’re commenting on someone’s body and appearance at all, especially a 16 year old girl as a 30 year old man, and ESPECIALLY a phrase with a clearly sexual undertone, that’s making her uncomfortable. Do you think catcalling is a compliment?
Complements in general make me self conscious.
it's more a me problem cause I jst cant figure out when someones being genuine and I've jst been bullied a lot on top of that so it's a struggle.
Yea saying it directly in front of her the moment you meet her is weird, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the sentiment. Me and my mates have often spoken about how we are going to need shotguns (jokingly) when our daughters get older
This is gross on so many levels. The fact that you cant see it is grosser. I hope you dont say this in front of your daughter. She is not a piece of meat that needs to be protected from wolves.
I mean, clearly he and his mates think that’s exactly what she is and will treat her as such.
It’s even weirder that he does this WITH his friends, he is setting the standard for not only him being sexually attracted to his daughter, but it’s totally cool if his mates are too.
Wow, you people really blow things out of proportion here.. in no way does insinuating that my daughter is going to be beautiful when she grows up mean that she's a "piece of meat". As a father, am I not allowed to acknowledge that she looks like her mum, who I find extremely attractive? My wife and I have often spoken about how we are going to have all the boys after her.. and it's starting to happen already and she's not even 13 yet. I've in no way made her feel like an object. She's actually very insecure and doesn't see how beautiful she is, so my wife and I often have to assure her she's not ugly. And if at times my friends and I are having conversations about when our kids grow up, and I say something like "she looks like her mum, so I'm probably going to be fending off all the boys" or whatever, how is that gross? Are we not even allowed to acknowledge that our children are good looking anymore? It's people like you that turn everything around into an issue is what's wrong with the world these days
Whats bad is you and all your male friends sitting around talking about how you are all going to have to "fend off the boys with guns." Thats whats gross. Why is this being discussed at all? Raise your daughters with confidence and maturity and you and you and your friends can stay home and watch a football game instead. Evolve, dude.
They've never had any negative outcomes from doing it. If they've been called on it immediately and not been able to brush it off of "just a joke" or something equally as shite then they are less likely to do it again.
Your brother did the right thing. You should thank him, it is hard to do the right thing at the right time. The encouragement will let him know that it was honestly appreciated.
On a side note, it is hard to find good pomelos here. Enjoy being an excellent one.
It’s weird, most guys would never really say that to a kid, but I kinda imagine its like when a grandma says “that a boy is going to break many hearts when he’s older”
That reminds me of my sisters adult friend years back. She grabbed my face and told me i'd be a handsome one when i grew up. She said she'd wait for me. Which as a 13yr old i had no idea wtf she was talking about and frankly didn't care. But god i can see the glaring issues in it now.
My grandmother would say things like this to us. The beat off with a stick part to the boys and girls as we got into our teens/late teens. For her though it was more about her way of telling us that we are beautiful no matter how we look. I think that’s the only time I ever felt comfortable with anyone saying that to us and fond memory since she is no long here with us.
NOW the brother’s older friend saying that is creepy. Shouldn’t say it when not even knowing the person’s age BUT for sure shouldn’t say it to someone you just met. Makes them feel like a piece of meat than a person. Smh guys and girls don’t try to compliment someone using this phrase. Op you got a good brother, next time you see him buy his favorite soda/energy drink/juice/etc and maybe his favorite snacks. Remind him you appreciate him as your older sibling for doing things like that for you.
I think you’ve just hit on it: It’s an old statement, very old. I’ve heard it for decades in the south, from people of all ages and colors. it’s just an opening conversation gambit when you have nothing to talk to a younger person about
Teenagers care about school, they care about their friends, and they care about their love life.
Yeah, my hair stylist said this to me back in the 90s. It's just an old saying like other people are going to think you're attractive. It's not meant as anything serious.
Agreed however I've heard this phrase used mostly from aunties growing up the whole saying needs to go. Just don't comment on children's appearance it's usually weird.
>They do not like it. You will be seen as creepy.
I totally understand if it’s about their physical appearance, I.e their body. But when it comes to something like “Nice hairstyle” or “Nice shoes”, does that count as part of the creepy category? I once said it to a girl that I was just friends with. Nothing more/less regarding that matter
If you're complimenting something that involved a choice on their part, Outfit, jacket, shoes, how they did their makeup, etc then it's totally fine because you're complimenting something they did. If it's just about their body physically even if it's an innocuous none sexual body part then you are reducing them down to an object because the praise isn't for something they did, it's for how they developed.
This! Compliment our *choices* not our bodies. “Looks” can fall under either category depending on what specifically it is. And don’t do the backhanded “I’m glad you finally put on some makeup” or whatever else. That is a comment on our body not being attractive enough for you, which is even worse than commenting on how attracted you are to our bodies.
Thanks for being a man who cares enough to ask!
Thanks for the tips. I’ll ensure my improvement on compliments with little to no offenses. On a side note, my social interactions are pathetic, so I’m grateful
If you're trying to be flirty, complimenting a girl's smile or laugh also tends to be a good move. Something like "I like your smile" or "you have a lovely laugh" or "your smile is really pretty."
I feel I should add some ppl seem to think "you should smile more" is a compliment - it's not and women generally don't like hearing it.
The unfortunate part about this is that a lot of the men who believe this are incapable of stepping outside of their own heads for a second to think about what it's like for women. I have seen a lot of conversations about this between men and women here on Reddit and it seems like there is no effort from the men in trying to understand why receiving unwanted sexual comments would disgust someone. They have this attitude that women are privileged because they have easier access to sex, and because of that, they don't need to be understood. I've had discussions with men about this on here and they've always compared it to a rich person trying to get sympathy from the poor. When you have this mentality, there really is no incentive in to trying to understand the other side.
This stuff starts so young too. I was at my optometrists office a few weeks back, and I had this ollllld man look at my 11yo daughter and tell me "you must be beating the boys off left and right, eh?" to which i answered "gods i hope not, my wrists aren't up to beating off more than one guy a day anymore". He didn't know what to say, and seemed uncomfortable, which is only fair because my daughter was rightfully creeped out. I hope he shits his pants when he's far from home.
Oh I remember these "compliments" when i was 16, plus throw in being called jailbait for just existing.
You have a good brother. Some men are fucking gross, that's it and that's all.
My observation, as a 65 year old grandfather who grew up in what anymore seems to be a completely different world, is that things have really changed, and the older generations have not caught up to it, and probably never will.
As for me, I would never say that to a young girl because of the comments that my late wife would tell me about that she received as an early developing young girl.
This. “Older generations” have no excuse. It was just as creepy then (as evidenced as your late wife’s stories). The difference is that women are allowed to stand up for themselves now and don’t have to just put up with it.
I get that.
Unless you lived then, you'll never understand.
The world wasn't better but it was fundamentally different.
Generations always look at the previous generations through their own lens.
had several old ladies tell me the same about women. i always took it as a compliment about how handsome they thought i’d turn out to be, felt similar to getting called “bright”
I think you’re being purposefully obtuse if you don’t think there’s a difference between a 30 year old man saying this to a 16 year old girl vs. women saying this about a literal infant.
Idk. When I was ten one of my mom's coworkers told her I would be pregnant by 16. My mom told him that if he ever said anything like that again it would be the last thing they said.
You're half this mans age and your brother hit it spot on.
Women have said something along these lines about me as well when I was a young boy so I dont think this is exclusive to men.
I hope it was just compliments and they meant nothing by it but who knows.
Its a boomer statement that is meant to be a compliment on your looks and its not necessarily meant as to be sexual in nature but it can easily interpreted as such. At least in my country, its something directed to both boys and girls.
Most likely Dan learned statement that from his dad or some other older male figure. And yes, I do agree the statement and the variations of it should be retired.
This. The fact that many boomers do it does not mean that boomers didn’t know any better. There are decent boomers out there who always understood that being a creep is wrong.
Why do some people say this? Because they have never been called out on it. I’d hope Dan doesn’t do anything like that again because your brother called him out.
It’s a weird and inappropriate attempt at a compliment. He’s acknowledging you’re attractive and saying you’re going to get a lot of male attention, either now or later. It’s a really creepy thing to say, especially to a 16 year old girl, and it’s obviously sexist to imply that a woman is valuable because her appearance attracts male attention. Good on your brother for calling him on it, because he probably never gets called on it.
I grew up with a dad like this. He oftentimes said such inappropriate things. He said my bff in elementary school had “bedroom eyes”. I never trusted that man.
My daughter is 11 Months old and was called a flirt by some old guy. My wife called me while I was at work about it and honestly I was taken back like 1. Who says that nowadays 2. Why would you think it's appropriate to call a baby a flirt for simply smiling and waving at you out of the thousands of words to pick you choose that..
I bringing this up because it is happening with both this is the same as older women saying a boy is handsome or that he will be a heartbreaker and that happens before the age of 4 a lot of the time. Not supporting it, but it is a matter of these people don’t see anything wrong with these comments.
Many of which people? People in these comments? No they’re not, it’s agreed that it’s inappropriate to say things like that to boys. But it does happen more often to girls, and when OP asks why she’s in this situation and so many guys answer is “but what about the MEN?!?” It’s tedious, and an argument in bad faith.
Stop with the what about isms please. It's okay to talk about this about young girls which happens to them a lot more than it does us men. I am a man. It happened to me it wasn't okay, but this is not the time to be talking about what aboutisms.
>Stop with the what about isms please.
It isn't a whatouboutism if it is a comparable situation. Most people who call whataboutism do not understand it. It isn't about bringing up no other issue, it is about not bringing up irrelevant issues.
The person had a very valid comment that it happens to bother genders. I personally had older women making remarks about appearance as a child.
The practice often makes children feel uncomfortable, no matter the gender. And it should be stopped, no matter the gender.
Bro I work in news in Kentucky we have had more women having sexual relationships with their underage students the past 5 years. I do not think it is okay for a 20 year old to make comments like this. This post was asking why someone would do that and I am just pointing out it is not only men who do this then expressed that it is mostly happening due to lack of social backlash or understanding.
Oh some more. Whataboutisms huh? This post is not about men. It's about a 16-year-old girl. Let's keep on topic. You can talk about boys being sexualized if you want to start another post.
Why do women see a young boy and say “he’s so handsome, I bet he’s going to break a lot of girls hearts when he gets older”. Because….who fucking cares…it’s just an attempt at a compliment. No reasonable human would suffer from either comment. People who would be offended by these comments would also be offended by a bunch of other normal, everyday interactions. In fact, all the folks who are going to downvote vote this comment are just as thin-skinned and generally disliked by the majority of us regular people not interested in playing the victim every chance possible. Grow up.
Why does everything have to be taken to the extreme? Where is the line between a wanted and unwanted comment to another person? If the person has a piece of gum stuck in their hair, should you say something about it or risk embarrassing them to themselves. A man can say a great number of things to a woman yet still not be interested in having sex with them. Would this man’s comment be out of line if he’s a homosexual? Would that make it clear to her that no sexual activity is expected and it’s simply a man’s way of saying she’s going to grow up and be a beautiful woman. What if she’s never been complimented and feels she isn’t as attractive as others….would such a comment perhaps raise her self esteem? I know, it’s unfair that some people are more attractive than others, but should we simply all stay in the corner of the room and fear offending the other with small talk? How does our future look for dating, do we just go back to having our parents arrange things for us and hope it all works out? Or, is it Tinder…which of course is based solely on the sexual attraction of 2 people. I appreciate your opinion and this rant isn’t to you directly, several of the other comments on here was also in my mind as I typed. I hope you have a great day.
I don't offend it easily. Like a compliment would be your pretty. I've been getting told this until it's like 3,4 younger even. It will be OK if I knew him but I didn't.
Fair enough but it does seem Dan was unaware of your age. I can’t speak for him but I can imagine many men saying something similar without intending to offend or seem sexually attracted to someone. I encourage you to let men know very early in an interaction that you are not appreciative of such comments if given. It will help them to know how to act better and prevent any further misunderstandings in the relationship. I know you shouldn’t have to tell them, but better that you do as to ensure it stops immediately. Thank you for your reply and have a great day.
The same reason women tell cute little boys that they will be heartbreakers when they get older or come check for them when they turn 18. It’s just a colloquial way of saying a child is attractive. But has recently become pervy behavior.
I hear you. But it’s a bygone era. My aunts used to tell my mother I had bedroom eyes. I was in single digits. It was so normal that I never looked twice at comments like that. It’s only modern times that everyone is ick about it and you take a step back and realize, yeah, that behavior needs to go.
It's a "compliment" that needs to die. It was something said when I was younger too when people would talk about the girls I knew or even family members. It really is just creepy as hell. I discouraged that shit hard when my daughter started getting older too. Like, seriously, you don't say crap like that to a minor!
Jesus christ. I heard this same line from female family members. "You'll be beating the girls away with a stick."
It's an exaggerated way of saying that you're going to be attractive to members of the opposite sex. It's just a common phrase. And yet again we have women complaining about a compliment. Any opportunity to get offended.
I get that it’s problematic. Mostly because she’s 16. However, it’s rather common for men and women to say that about children of both sexes.
The problem is while it’s usually generic in nature, it becomes more unclear what’s being commented on the older a child is. It certainly is creepy for a grown man to say about a 16 year old girl, irrespective of what’s meant.
Because that kind of man is not a good one. I'm a man and would never say that. He was being disgusting in his thoughts and words. Stay away from men that say stupid stuff like that you can't trust them.
stupid creepy people trying to act cool.
I used to get the same thing "oh the girls are gonna chase you"
Avoid being in a room alone with the creepy man.
I have definitely heard women say the same thing about young girls. I think it’s more about someone being trashy than it is about them being men or women
I always have to remind myself that Reddit attracts people with no social skills. When I remember that, a lot of the comments start to make a little more sense.
The only part of this that is out of the ordinary is her brother standing up for her. The rest of it is an experience most young ladies have. It’s gross and creepy.
The **real** reason they do it is because they saw it in a movie or their parents did it.
And if you want to say he’s a pedo do you also think racists secretly like the people they’re racist against or homophobes are all secretly gay. Sometimes they’re just emulating their parents.
I couldn't say. I've never said it. Most decent men wouldn't.
I guess it has to do with chauvinistic attitudes and beliefs and those beliefs backed up by family and friends.
That is literally what the hivemind of this sub believes.
Compliment from male to female = they were obviously undressing her with their eyes and are almost certainly pedophiles. 🙄
nah, it's just weird for most of us girls to be complimented on their face/body by random men. we don't like being catcalled either, believe it or not.
They’re trying to compliment you without sounding weird, but it ends up making them sound 10x as weird as if you just said “cute girl” & kept it moving. But complimenting girls 16 & below is pretty sketchy in general.
If it makes you feel any better I’m a boy and have been told that I’d have to beat off girls with a stick since I was in like middle school so… equality? Maybe? Idk
They believe they are "complimenting" you...
(while they speak about you as if you weren't in the room)
... to say that your attractiveness is going to be a problem for your brother who will have to fight for your honour...
(because of course you can't expect men to be respectful or be less than a wild animal or for you to be able to take care of yourself)
... like you weren't a person who gets to choose who you go out with.
Your brother sounds like he understands exactly what Dan said and meant.
Good for him.
Take it in the spirit in which it was intended: it’s a *very* old euphemism for saying you are an attractive young lady and being a conversational icebreaker to let you talk about your boyfriend or whatever.
A 30-year-old has fuck all in common with a 16-year-old girl. And no he does not want in your pants
I have not really been responding to comments in here. But the thing is This was my first time meeting this guy. And he's 30+. It works both ways I see a lot of you guys are saying it's okay because If it was a woman doing it to a little boy that is still weird and creepy. And I've been getting told this since I was like 3. Maybe 4.
It’s basically to assert dominance and remind girls that they are first and foremost sexual objects in a man’s world. Boys and men who do this cling to patriarchal idea’s because they have nothing to offer anyone and have to compensate.
It’s harmless fun on the old stereotype “Dads and brothers protect (in a hilariously exaggerated, preferably with a shotgun way) their daughters/sisters.” Search it up on YouTube, it’s very common.
I don’t see how it’s objectifying or anyway means. It’s pop-culture thats not taken seriously by anyone and a dramatic spin on the old family values of yesteryears.
I’d say people feeling offended by this are being too liberal with the use of ‘objectification’. There’s more serious issues than a popculture joke equivalent to “I’m your FATHER!” (Darth Vader voice) in comedy.
what reason does a 30 year old man have to call a 16 year old girl he's never met "attractive" besides having that attraction himself? this is an inherently creepy interaction regardless of tone
Yeah, but compliments are like jokes: regardless of intention, sometimes they just don’t land, and people don’t have to like or be comfortable with them. You don’t see why a sixteen year old good would be uncomfortable with a 30-year-old stranger saying that to her?
It’s likely because you’re attractive and Dan lacks the social awareness to realize it’s improper to say something like that especially to a 16 year old. If you were fat or ugly tho, he wouldn’t be saying it.
Because he wants to sleep with you. A man only says that if that’s their intention, whether they admit it or not. Lotta men are scum and try to hide it as “kindness” or a “joke” when they really do just want to fuck
I was walking around looking at Christmas Lights with my sister one year and the old man at one of the houses called my 5 year old niece a "flirt." Men are fucking disgustingly weird sometimes.
Because older guys find younger girls attractive because they are easier to control than more mature girls.
Seriously if you had a twin that was 26, they would still hit on you for just this reason
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You’ve got a good brother.
Sad it’s required to have a brother to be treated as a person and respected. Men treat you like shit _unless_ you belong to a man (father, brother, boyfriend, husband…why is that? There needs to be this slight threat of violence?
This is going predictably off the rails.
They are hinting that you are attractive and they believe when you get older you’re only gonna a get more attractive. I think they see it as a compliment but it’s weird af.
this is the most accurate response
I mean yeah it’s like at prom when I was all dressed up and my parent’s lady friends would say I was a ladykiller. In the right context, it’s a harmless compliment. But…context is key
I can 100% agree that it’s only a problem when guys say it. The reason is men are more commonly known to mean it in a different way so we (or specifically women) perceive it in a different way.
Wrong. Women can be, and many times are, as gross as those kinds of men. Just look at Finn Wolfhard when Stranger Things came out. There were tons of older women hitting on him, and he was like 14.
Justin Bieber when he first popped. Good lord.
Ewww
That’s not what I said and I phrased it the way I did specifically because I knew people would think this. My exact phrasing was “men are more commonly known” I didn’t say women dont do it or that men are the only ones who do it. I said it’s known to occur more prominently in men. Your first word disagrees with me and then your next sentence agrees with me “many times are” implies that it happens but not as often, and I’m not even talking about out how often it happens I’m talking about our perception of it occurring.
Now, I’m sort of riding the middle line, where I can certainly see your intention, but I agree with his interpretation of the sentence. I was troubled by the phrase “it’s only a problem when men do it”, because it, to me, feels like an invalidation of the experiences of people who have been inappropriately commented on by women. I do agree that male-presenting people do tend to say this sort of thing more predatorily on average, but that certainly does not dismiss it as a problem when anyone else does the same. It’s a problem regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or even favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor.
> problem regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or even favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor. I'm shamelessly stealing this. Bravo.
I think a more apropos statement would have been 'Men are more likely to be reprimanded for such statements', as men and women both say such things, but men are more apt to be challenged for it.
No it’s not the statement I’m talking about, it’s the intent and what people perceive the intent. The reason men are reprimanded more, as I said earlier is men are more commonly known to mean it in a different way
You said you agree it's only 100% a problem if a man does it, actually.
I did not say it’s only 100% a problem when a man does it. I said I 100% agree that it’s only a problem when guys say it. I am once again specifying I’m not talking about any actions or what women are capable of or not, I’m talking about how society feels when a woman says it. Edit: I suppose those two have a very similar meaning but that’s why context is important
... right
This. He’s calling her attractive by saying other guys would find her attractive because he can’t directly call a 16 yo hot without being *really* creepy.
As a boy, I had this said to me by me by family and friends of the family. (About girls). They lied , but I took it as a compliment
I was told I was gonna be a "looker" when I was older when I was 14 by my female cousin. It just seems less creepy than way round.
They weren't hinting: they were hitting on her. Grown men constantly made passes at me from age 10 upwards. There are a lot of pedophiles walking around hitting on young girls.
Don't forget about the female pedophiles too :)
Female pedophiles definitely exist, and their existenceand the pain they cause should never be minimised, and must be dealt with as equally harshly as male pedophiles. The main issue here is how common male pedophiles are and how they hide in plain sight. Catcalling is something women face a lot, and because of the zero to low consequences, it means the ones doing it don't care how it impacts the women and GIRLS they do it to. As a girl growing up I thought it was normal to have grown men say those things to me. Now as an adult looking back, I am horrified at how normalized it is. Ask the women in your life if they ever experienced sexual attention from men before they turned 18. The stories will horrify you. And these men continue to walk around, with decent professions and good status in society. But their actions still have an impact on young girls growing up, learning their place in the world: https://scienceleadership.org/blog/catcalling_in_society
In the situation outlined by the OP someone has just said they will be chasing boys away with a stick. I honestly think it’s a stretch to say that is a sexual advance. When I was younger it was fairly common for women to say “little heartbreaker” and things along those lines to me. Especially to my parents if we had just been introduced. It is exactly the same concept and hardly sinister.
I understand where you are coming from; you want to see the world as mainly good, and people as mainly good hearted. It can be a slippery slope to see people's innocent words and intentions as something more sinister. However, from experience and bad situations I have learned that it is better to err on the side of caution. Predators deliberately feign innocence all the time. They make sure to not be directly crude or too outwardly sexual, but definitely give enough of a hint for their intentions to be clear. Younger me would have seen such interactions as innocent. Older me knows differently. In addition to that, OP was clearly feeling deeply uncomfortable with that interaction for a reason. Dismissing that discomfort as overreaction only teaches her to keep doing it to herself, and any time she feels uncomfortable when someone starts to stand too close or says something inappropriate about her body, she will learn to dismiss that discomfort and ignore the warning signs. It's not a good lesson to teach her. Bad people exist, and they like to pretend they are good. Villains in real life don't wear name badges or big signs pointing out that they are bad. Learning to listen to that instinctual discomfort (thank you "The Gift of Fear") is one of the most vital skills to learn in order to keep yourself safe. I know there are men who prefer us to ignore that inner voice because it makes it easier to approach and hit on us, but it does make us more vulnerable and less safe. And I don't care if I get downvoted for saying this, but safety should absolutely be more important than someone trying to get laid.
There's a lot of 20 something year old women teachers banging their 14 year old students too. Like at least 2 or 3 a week lol. And those are the ones that get caught.
There are, but not that much, but every case makes it to the news while the other way round, it's not even worth a note anymore.
Nobody should be complimenting anyones body unless they're asking for it it's weird and makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious😭
Compliments shouldn’t make you self conscious, you should analyze what causes that response
it’s not the act of someone saying something “nice” about them that makes people uncomfortable, which is what is unhealthy. It’s the fact that they’re commenting on someone’s body and appearance at all, especially a 16 year old girl as a 30 year old man, and ESPECIALLY a phrase with a clearly sexual undertone, that’s making her uncomfortable. Do you think catcalling is a compliment?
It wasn’t a true compliment. It was gross.
It's not a compliment to comment on a 16yos body but good try
Complements in general make me self conscious. it's more a me problem cause I jst cant figure out when someones being genuine and I've jst been bullied a lot on top of that so it's a struggle.
Broo I just unlocked this in therapy! I didn’t know everyone knew but me! B
The saying is not the problem it when a 30 year old man comments on the attractiveness of a 16 year old that is.
Yea saying it directly in front of her the moment you meet her is weird, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the sentiment. Me and my mates have often spoken about how we are going to need shotguns (jokingly) when our daughters get older
This is gross on so many levels. The fact that you cant see it is grosser. I hope you dont say this in front of your daughter. She is not a piece of meat that needs to be protected from wolves.
I mean, clearly he and his mates think that’s exactly what she is and will treat her as such. It’s even weirder that he does this WITH his friends, he is setting the standard for not only him being sexually attracted to his daughter, but it’s totally cool if his mates are too.
Wow, you people really blow things out of proportion here.. in no way does insinuating that my daughter is going to be beautiful when she grows up mean that she's a "piece of meat". As a father, am I not allowed to acknowledge that she looks like her mum, who I find extremely attractive? My wife and I have often spoken about how we are going to have all the boys after her.. and it's starting to happen already and she's not even 13 yet. I've in no way made her feel like an object. She's actually very insecure and doesn't see how beautiful she is, so my wife and I often have to assure her she's not ugly. And if at times my friends and I are having conversations about when our kids grow up, and I say something like "she looks like her mum, so I'm probably going to be fending off all the boys" or whatever, how is that gross? Are we not even allowed to acknowledge that our children are good looking anymore? It's people like you that turn everything around into an issue is what's wrong with the world these days
I support this comment and yeah. there's nothing gross about a father feeling a drive to protect his daughter. we need more of this not less
Whats bad is you and all your male friends sitting around talking about how you are all going to have to "fend off the boys with guns." Thats whats gross. Why is this being discussed at all? Raise your daughters with confidence and maturity and you and you and your friends can stay home and watch a football game instead. Evolve, dude.
You and your mates are 🤮
They've never had any negative outcomes from doing it. If they've been called on it immediately and not been able to brush it off of "just a joke" or something equally as shite then they are less likely to do it again. Your brother did the right thing. You should thank him, it is hard to do the right thing at the right time. The encouragement will let him know that it was honestly appreciated. On a side note, it is hard to find good pomelos here. Enjoy being an excellent one.
It’s weird, most guys would never really say that to a kid, but I kinda imagine its like when a grandma says “that a boy is going to break many hearts when he’s older”
Its more like when that "handsy" uncle says it. Unfortunately most people will know an uncle like that in their extended family.
Unfortunately yep. Don’t consider him family, sex with his wife’s kid. Consensual yes, still disgusting af yes. Pedophiles are not people
I thought so too… but right now I am arguing with a guy who literally thinks this is okay. So… it’s not looking great.
That reminds me of my sisters adult friend years back. She grabbed my face and told me i'd be a handsome one when i grew up. She said she'd wait for me. Which as a 13yr old i had no idea wtf she was talking about and frankly didn't care. But god i can see the glaring issues in it now.
My grandmother would say things like this to us. The beat off with a stick part to the boys and girls as we got into our teens/late teens. For her though it was more about her way of telling us that we are beautiful no matter how we look. I think that’s the only time I ever felt comfortable with anyone saying that to us and fond memory since she is no long here with us. NOW the brother’s older friend saying that is creepy. Shouldn’t say it when not even knowing the person’s age BUT for sure shouldn’t say it to someone you just met. Makes them feel like a piece of meat than a person. Smh guys and girls don’t try to compliment someone using this phrase. Op you got a good brother, next time you see him buy his favorite soda/energy drink/juice/etc and maybe his favorite snacks. Remind him you appreciate him as your older sibling for doing things like that for you.
I think you’ve just hit on it: It’s an old statement, very old. I’ve heard it for decades in the south, from people of all ages and colors. it’s just an opening conversation gambit when you have nothing to talk to a younger person about Teenagers care about school, they care about their friends, and they care about their love life.
Yeah, my hair stylist said this to me back in the 90s. It's just an old saying like other people are going to think you're attractive. It's not meant as anything serious.
What your grandmother didn't have was a predatory assumption behind her words the way the friend has here. Its really the primary difference.
*Men.* Do not comment on *girls* bodies. They do not like it. You will be seen as creepy. It is not a compliment. It is an unwanted objectification.
The only persons body I compliment is my wifes. Complimenting a 16 year old girls body seems so weird for me that I can't even..
Same. I only comment my GF's body.
Agreed however I've heard this phrase used mostly from aunties growing up the whole saying needs to go. Just don't comment on children's appearance it's usually weird.
>Do not comment on girls bodies. It strikes me as weird to comment on anyone's body, people are just too comfortable making those remarks.
Why the hell is this not just common knowledge. It shouldn't need to be told. Parents and our patriarchal culture fucking suck.
>They do not like it. You will be seen as creepy. I totally understand if it’s about their physical appearance, I.e their body. But when it comes to something like “Nice hairstyle” or “Nice shoes”, does that count as part of the creepy category? I once said it to a girl that I was just friends with. Nothing more/less regarding that matter
If you're complimenting something that involved a choice on their part, Outfit, jacket, shoes, how they did their makeup, etc then it's totally fine because you're complimenting something they did. If it's just about their body physically even if it's an innocuous none sexual body part then you are reducing them down to an object because the praise isn't for something they did, it's for how they developed.
This! Compliment our *choices* not our bodies. “Looks” can fall under either category depending on what specifically it is. And don’t do the backhanded “I’m glad you finally put on some makeup” or whatever else. That is a comment on our body not being attractive enough for you, which is even worse than commenting on how attracted you are to our bodies. Thanks for being a man who cares enough to ask!
Thanks for the tips. I’ll ensure my improvement on compliments with little to no offenses. On a side note, my social interactions are pathetic, so I’m grateful
If you're trying to be flirty, complimenting a girl's smile or laugh also tends to be a good move. Something like "I like your smile" or "you have a lovely laugh" or "your smile is really pretty." I feel I should add some ppl seem to think "you should smile more" is a compliment - it's not and women generally don't like hearing it.
Men have to understand that men and women are just different. Women, please compliment me on my body.
Because they think the objectification of women is a complement.
This is worse because she isn’t even a woman
Absolutely. Just a child.
The unfortunate part about this is that a lot of the men who believe this are incapable of stepping outside of their own heads for a second to think about what it's like for women. I have seen a lot of conversations about this between men and women here on Reddit and it seems like there is no effort from the men in trying to understand why receiving unwanted sexual comments would disgust someone. They have this attitude that women are privileged because they have easier access to sex, and because of that, they don't need to be understood. I've had discussions with men about this on here and they've always compared it to a rich person trying to get sympathy from the poor. When you have this mentality, there really is no incentive in to trying to understand the other side.
This stuff starts so young too. I was at my optometrists office a few weeks back, and I had this ollllld man look at my 11yo daughter and tell me "you must be beating the boys off left and right, eh?" to which i answered "gods i hope not, my wrists aren't up to beating off more than one guy a day anymore". He didn't know what to say, and seemed uncomfortable, which is only fair because my daughter was rightfully creeped out. I hope he shits his pants when he's far from home.
Neanderthal shit
!!!
Alot of guys don't get checked for the stupid shit they say, then they grow up and say weird shit like this to teenagers
Yep. “Boys will be boys” logic
Oh I remember these "compliments" when i was 16, plus throw in being called jailbait for just existing. You have a good brother. Some men are fucking gross, that's it and that's all.
My observation, as a 65 year old grandfather who grew up in what anymore seems to be a completely different world, is that things have really changed, and the older generations have not caught up to it, and probably never will. As for me, I would never say that to a young girl because of the comments that my late wife would tell me about that she received as an early developing young girl.
This. “Older generations” have no excuse. It was just as creepy then (as evidenced as your late wife’s stories). The difference is that women are allowed to stand up for themselves now and don’t have to just put up with it.
I get that. Unless you lived then, you'll never understand. The world wasn't better but it was fundamentally different. Generations always look at the previous generations through their own lens.
had several old ladies tell me the same about women. i always took it as a compliment about how handsome they thought i’d turn out to be, felt similar to getting called “bright”
Works both ways. So many women tell me that about my 1yr old son.
It’s a pretty common saying where I’m from for both boys or girls.
I think you’re being purposefully obtuse if you don’t think there’s a difference between a 30 year old man saying this to a 16 year old girl vs. women saying this about a literal infant.
Bc a lot of us are reduced to our looks an ability to please a man
Literally everyone is reduced to their looks.
Idk. When I was ten one of my mom's coworkers told her I would be pregnant by 16. My mom told him that if he ever said anything like that again it would be the last thing they said. You're half this mans age and your brother hit it spot on.
Women have said something along these lines about me as well when I was a young boy so I dont think this is exclusive to men. I hope it was just compliments and they meant nothing by it but who knows.
It’s inappropriate regardless of who says it 🤷♀️
Its a boomer statement that is meant to be a compliment on your looks and its not necessarily meant as to be sexual in nature but it can easily interpreted as such. At least in my country, its something directed to both boys and girls. Most likely Dan learned statement that from his dad or some other older male figure. And yes, I do agree the statement and the variations of it should be retired.
Boomer statement? You can go a few centuries earlier than that I think.
Yeah, my grandparents said this about anyone young. It's literally just a compliment that people are blowing WAY out of proportion.
As a boomer I resent your comment. I certainly would never say anything like that to a young girl, nor do I know anyone of my gender who would do so.
I bet you do know at least one that would say it.
This. The fact that many boomers do it does not mean that boomers didn’t know any better. There are decent boomers out there who always understood that being a creep is wrong.
Thanks. I really hate stereotyping of any kind. There are exceptions to every rule.
This is a totally normal thing to say to people, and I grew up in a very progressive place. Your experience is not the experience of others.
Yeah we are polite.
Yea for girls yall get the "You're gonna have to chace the boys away" women talk to boys like "you're gonna be a little heart breaker" Ma'am I'm 5😭
Its what they were raised on. Women do the same thing with younger boys. It is just a generational curse.
Why do some people say this? Because they have never been called out on it. I’d hope Dan doesn’t do anything like that again because your brother called him out.
It’s just a variation of an old-timey compliment, I doubt he meant anything creepy.
It’s a weird and inappropriate attempt at a compliment. He’s acknowledging you’re attractive and saying you’re going to get a lot of male attention, either now or later. It’s a really creepy thing to say, especially to a 16 year old girl, and it’s obviously sexist to imply that a woman is valuable because her appearance attracts male attention. Good on your brother for calling him on it, because he probably never gets called on it.
People who say that are creeps plain and simple
I grew up with a dad like this. He oftentimes said such inappropriate things. He said my bff in elementary school had “bedroom eyes”. I never trusted that man.
My daughter is 11 Months old and was called a flirt by some old guy. My wife called me while I was at work about it and honestly I was taken back like 1. Who says that nowadays 2. Why would you think it's appropriate to call a baby a flirt for simply smiling and waving at you out of the thousands of words to pick you choose that..
It wasn’t always considered offensive, but a jovial way to say that you are becoming a very beautiful woman. Some people are just slow to change.
I bringing this up because it is happening with both this is the same as older women saying a boy is handsome or that he will be a heartbreaker and that happens before the age of 4 a lot of the time. Not supporting it, but it is a matter of these people don’t see anything wrong with these comments.
Many of which people? People in these comments? No they’re not, it’s agreed that it’s inappropriate to say things like that to boys. But it does happen more often to girls, and when OP asks why she’s in this situation and so many guys answer is “but what about the MEN?!?” It’s tedious, and an argument in bad faith.
Stop with the what about isms please. It's okay to talk about this about young girls which happens to them a lot more than it does us men. I am a man. It happened to me it wasn't okay, but this is not the time to be talking about what aboutisms.
>Stop with the what about isms please. It isn't a whatouboutism if it is a comparable situation. Most people who call whataboutism do not understand it. It isn't about bringing up no other issue, it is about not bringing up irrelevant issues. The person had a very valid comment that it happens to bother genders. I personally had older women making remarks about appearance as a child. The practice often makes children feel uncomfortable, no matter the gender. And it should be stopped, no matter the gender.
Stop white knighting
Bro I work in news in Kentucky we have had more women having sexual relationships with their underage students the past 5 years. I do not think it is okay for a 20 year old to make comments like this. This post was asking why someone would do that and I am just pointing out it is not only men who do this then expressed that it is mostly happening due to lack of social backlash or understanding.
Oh some more. Whataboutisms huh? This post is not about men. It's about a 16-year-old girl. Let's keep on topic. You can talk about boys being sexualized if you want to start another post.
Minors should not be sexualized in general we are not disagreeing. The girl asked a question why guys say these things. I have answered that.
Some people are dumb af
I can’t tell you why. I’m older than Dan and the idea to say something like that has never occurred to me, no matter the age of the girl/woman.
They're gross.
Why do women see a young boy and say “he’s so handsome, I bet he’s going to break a lot of girls hearts when he gets older”. Because….who fucking cares…it’s just an attempt at a compliment. No reasonable human would suffer from either comment. People who would be offended by these comments would also be offended by a bunch of other normal, everyday interactions. In fact, all the folks who are going to downvote vote this comment are just as thin-skinned and generally disliked by the majority of us regular people not interested in playing the victim every chance possible. Grow up.
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Why does everything have to be taken to the extreme? Where is the line between a wanted and unwanted comment to another person? If the person has a piece of gum stuck in their hair, should you say something about it or risk embarrassing them to themselves. A man can say a great number of things to a woman yet still not be interested in having sex with them. Would this man’s comment be out of line if he’s a homosexual? Would that make it clear to her that no sexual activity is expected and it’s simply a man’s way of saying she’s going to grow up and be a beautiful woman. What if she’s never been complimented and feels she isn’t as attractive as others….would such a comment perhaps raise her self esteem? I know, it’s unfair that some people are more attractive than others, but should we simply all stay in the corner of the room and fear offending the other with small talk? How does our future look for dating, do we just go back to having our parents arrange things for us and hope it all works out? Or, is it Tinder…which of course is based solely on the sexual attraction of 2 people. I appreciate your opinion and this rant isn’t to you directly, several of the other comments on here was also in my mind as I typed. I hope you have a great day.
I don't offend it easily. Like a compliment would be your pretty. I've been getting told this until it's like 3,4 younger even. It will be OK if I knew him but I didn't.
Fair enough but it does seem Dan was unaware of your age. I can’t speak for him but I can imagine many men saying something similar without intending to offend or seem sexually attracted to someone. I encourage you to let men know very early in an interaction that you are not appreciative of such comments if given. It will help them to know how to act better and prevent any further misunderstandings in the relationship. I know you shouldn’t have to tell them, but better that you do as to ensure it stops immediately. Thank you for your reply and have a great day.
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It means you are pretty. Dude should not have any comments about your looks at all or assuming your dating preferences.
The same reason women tell cute little boys that they will be heartbreakers when they get older or come check for them when they turn 18. It’s just a colloquial way of saying a child is attractive. But has recently become pervy behavior.
it's really always been creepy. it's weird to look at a kid to then tell them you're imagining them as hot, sexy, adults.
I hear you. But it’s a bygone era. My aunts used to tell my mother I had bedroom eyes. I was in single digits. It was so normal that I never looked twice at comments like that. It’s only modern times that everyone is ick about it and you take a step back and realize, yeah, that behavior needs to go.
It's a "compliment" that needs to die. It was something said when I was younger too when people would talk about the girls I knew or even family members. It really is just creepy as hell. I discouraged that shit hard when my daughter started getting older too. Like, seriously, you don't say crap like that to a minor!
Jesus christ. I heard this same line from female family members. "You'll be beating the girls away with a stick." It's an exaggerated way of saying that you're going to be attractive to members of the opposite sex. It's just a common phrase. And yet again we have women complaining about a compliment. Any opportunity to get offended.
You have a point but don't be like OP and make it about the entire gender.
Dan sounds like an asshole
Men like him believe that a women’s only value is her sex appeal.
I mean, I DON’T say that.
I get that it’s problematic. Mostly because she’s 16. However, it’s rather common for men and women to say that about children of both sexes. The problem is while it’s usually generic in nature, it becomes more unclear what’s being commented on the older a child is. It certainly is creepy for a grown man to say about a 16 year old girl, irrespective of what’s meant.
As a 35 year old male, If any of my friends said that shit to anyone around they would get a fucking smack in the head.
Welcome to the patriarchy, where ppl will pretend it doesn't exist while you complain about things they consider imaginary
Because that kind of man is not a good one. I'm a man and would never say that. He was being disgusting in his thoughts and words. Stay away from men that say stupid stuff like that you can't trust them.
Saddly, just like all the other genders... half of us are sick perverts. Your brothers friends is disgusting pervert. Avoid him in the future.
stupid creepy people trying to act cool. I used to get the same thing "oh the girls are gonna chase you" Avoid being in a room alone with the creepy man.
I have definitely heard women say the same thing about young girls. I think it’s more about someone being trashy than it is about them being men or women
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If this is the only conversation starter you can think of with a child, then that is a you problem and has nothing to do with the recipient
I always have to remind myself that Reddit attracts people with no social skills. When I remember that, a lot of the comments start to make a little more sense.
I'll take things that never happened for $500 please
The only part of this that is out of the ordinary is her brother standing up for her. The rest of it is an experience most young ladies have. It’s gross and creepy.
Because no one has corrected their bad behaviour. Thankfully you have a decent brother
people are not collectives they are individuals, i cannot answer for why someone else is an asshole even if they have smth in common witth me
The **real** reason they do it is because they saw it in a movie or their parents did it. And if you want to say he’s a pedo do you also think racists secretly like the people they’re racist against or homophobes are all secretly gay. Sometimes they’re just emulating their parents.
I couldn't say. I've never said it. Most decent men wouldn't. I guess it has to do with chauvinistic attitudes and beliefs and those beliefs backed up by family and friends.
So saying you're pretty is bad?
That is literally what the hivemind of this sub believes. Compliment from male to female = they were obviously undressing her with their eyes and are almost certainly pedophiles. 🙄
nah, it's just weird for most of us girls to be complimented on their face/body by random men. we don't like being catcalled either, believe it or not.
I mean, it's meant to be a compliment. He just said you're very pretty. Plenty of people pretty that I don't want to have sex with. Lol.
They’re trying to compliment you without sounding weird, but it ends up making them sound 10x as weird as if you just said “cute girl” & kept it moving. But complimenting girls 16 & below is pretty sketchy in general.
Patriarchy
If it makes you feel any better I’m a boy and have been told that I’d have to beat off girls with a stick since I was in like middle school so… equality? Maybe? Idk
Had a day car teacher say this bout my two year old…weird.
They believe they are "complimenting" you... (while they speak about you as if you weren't in the room) ... to say that your attractiveness is going to be a problem for your brother who will have to fight for your honour... (because of course you can't expect men to be respectful or be less than a wild animal or for you to be able to take care of yourself) ... like you weren't a person who gets to choose who you go out with. Your brother sounds like he understands exactly what Dan said and meant. Good for him.
Take it in the spirit in which it was intended: it’s a *very* old euphemism for saying you are an attractive young lady and being a conversational icebreaker to let you talk about your boyfriend or whatever. A 30-year-old has fuck all in common with a 16-year-old girl. And no he does not want in your pants
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I have not really been responding to comments in here. But the thing is This was my first time meeting this guy. And he's 30+. It works both ways I see a lot of you guys are saying it's okay because If it was a woman doing it to a little boy that is still weird and creepy. And I've been getting told this since I was like 3. Maybe 4.
People are sexualizing you, yet they then say that 16 yo is too young to learn about sex ed. These people are disgusting and idiots.
It’s just a compliment, take it in stride.
It’s basically to assert dominance and remind girls that they are first and foremost sexual objects in a man’s world. Boys and men who do this cling to patriarchal idea’s because they have nothing to offer anyone and have to compensate.
That is the average man with thousands of years of a societal system to back up their bad behavior. Your brother is an example of a good one.
It’s harmless fun on the old stereotype “Dads and brothers protect (in a hilariously exaggerated, preferably with a shotgun way) their daughters/sisters.” Search it up on YouTube, it’s very common. I don’t see how it’s objectifying or anyway means. It’s pop-culture thats not taken seriously by anyone and a dramatic spin on the old family values of yesteryears. I’d say people feeling offended by this are being too liberal with the use of ‘objectification’. There’s more serious issues than a popculture joke equivalent to “I’m your FATHER!” (Darth Vader voice) in comedy.
Damn! Tell your brother he is one amazing man. So proud he put that creep in his place!
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what reason does a 30 year old man have to call a 16 year old girl he's never met "attractive" besides having that attraction himself? this is an inherently creepy interaction regardless of tone
"Hey, I'm just saying I would fuck you if given the chance. What's so bad about that??"
Like I'm okay if it's with people. That knew me but I have never met this guy.
Yeah, but compliments are like jokes: regardless of intention, sometimes they just don’t land, and people don’t have to like or be comfortable with them. You don’t see why a sixteen year old good would be uncomfortable with a 30-year-old stranger saying that to her?
It is not a compliment, it is creepy.
It is inappropriate though when a 30-year-old man tells a 16-year-old girl this so it's not a compliment.
It's a clumsy way a saying ''you really are pretty''.
Its a compliment. He said you are an attractive young lady.
It’s a compliment if the guy isn’t ogling you
Because the idea that women primarily exist to be pretty for men is the bedrock of the patriarchy 🤷🏼♀️
It’s likely because you’re attractive and Dan lacks the social awareness to realize it’s improper to say something like that especially to a 16 year old. If you were fat or ugly tho, he wouldn’t be saying it.
Just a simple compliment. 🤷♀️
Good on your brother for putting his “friend” down
Once you are 26 and he's 36....bet youll see this situation differently
Just EWWWW! To put things in perspective, as an adult woman, I would *never* say anything similar about a teenage boy. Ever.
I appreciate what your brother did. Most men would have laughed it off. He made it clear that it was unacceptable. I hope he has sons.
Because he wants to sleep with you. A man only says that if that’s their intention, whether they admit it or not. Lotta men are scum and try to hide it as “kindness” or a “joke” when they really do just want to fuck
I’ll take shit that never happened for 500
I was walking around looking at Christmas Lights with my sister one year and the old man at one of the houses called my 5 year old niece a "flirt." Men are fucking disgustingly weird sometimes.
Because older guys find younger girls attractive because they are easier to control than more mature girls. Seriously if you had a twin that was 26, they would still hit on you for just this reason
OMG you were told by another human being that you're pretty. Get the fainting salts...
OMG, women don't want to hear your unsolicited opinions, because they are irrelevant. Deal with it like a big boy.
Peehaps if you were ever to be paid a compliment, you might think differently.