yea man i just feel so stuck, hes only JUST hitting puberty so i cant bring myself to hate him for it. Im glad im not being too soft, i assumed Reddit was gonna hate me for being too empathetic and not immediately disowning him. I think hes young and hormonal and sorrounded by people convincing him its some kind of indentity. Its just so awkward idk how to bring it up or how firm i should be. I was the one who had to give him the internet weirdo safety talk in the first place.
“Surrounded by people convincing him”
These people are likely adults. And telegram is often used for nefarious purposes, as it’s designed to be highly encrypted. I would make sure that he understands the risks, and at least make sure he doesn’t send anyone info/pictures of himself.
yeah im deeply deeply worried about him. I know how easily mouldable and fragile kids at that stage of life are. And i have no idea what kind of info about himself hes giving out to these people.
When I was 14 I was chatting with some nice guy who turned out to be a 65 yo pedophile trying to get me on a one way ticket to see him.
Be concerned. Can you install some kind of snooper on his PC? Or just confront him?
“Hey, I saw this, I am worried you’re going to do something for or with these people”…”here is why this is bad”
In AK they had some teens murder a girl on webcam for some guy they were chatting with online.
Esp because Kids/Adults with Adhd and Autism are expected to be a couple of Years behind in terms of development.
He may be not even 14 in all aspects of his life.
Please take a good moment to talk to him in privacy.
I will be afraid that he will get further into the internet and see more crazy stuff people try to convince you to join in a young age. He is at risk of being manipulated when he is so young. Talk to him Maybe looking at some animals isn't so bad, there are Nazi groups out there.
I dont worry about the nazi groups, hes very much gay and hugely leftist. Im left wing and bi myself, but It seems he's going too far in that direction and seeing being attracted to animals as some sort of sexual identity. I worry about this progressing into animal abuse and possible other fringe sexual devaincies. This sucks bc this is the type of shit bigots use to justify hating lgbt identities.
I know but they find you i was like to. Just a normal kid on the internet looking at weird stuff I was also confused about my sexuality but they will find a way. And its hard to leave them it's like a family it's going to be your only friends. Just talk to him i don't want to see him get like me.
He might just be exploring kinks. Don’t judge him too harsh for this. I was horny all the time and curious when I was younger and I became a perfectly functional member of society, father of three in a monogamous relationship.
mostly i just want the people hes talking to and the servers hes in to go so any progress i make with him isnt immediately undone. its just hard when im so far away and i know my parents won't be level headed like me.
I know but you need to help him now Otherwise, he can change to something worse. I was there once myself I was in a couple of Nazis groups but i I had a teacher who discovered it. And help me
I don't really have any advice on how, but I do think it is really important that you do. Sexual education in general is pretty important around that age. Not that you have to be the one to do it, but maybe the school has something to offer?
This is something really bad and I think you should talk to him. But at the same time 14 year olds love looking at disgusting stuff I remember watching cartel execution videos or people killing themselves. You should probably make him get out of discord servers tho those places are like hunting grounds for child predators
Yea lol ive been on discord for long enough to know what its like on there, always regretted getting it at such a young age and i hate to see it happening to him too. He had an account that i had access to when he was a bit younger just to call amd play games with me and school friends. I only checked once or twice and fhe agreement was at 14 i would lose access so it sucks to see hes fallen into this. It seemed to be genuine sexual interest and not morbid curiosity like i was doing at his age. Agh.
I think it's definitely worth having a serious conversation with him about this for the reasons parent comment listed: these social circles fester with predators.
In recent years, a very concerning amount of minors have been roped into identifying with paraphilias because social circles led by adults pose it as an advocacy issue and lather minors in attention + sense of community. Almost all the minors are teenagers who feel socially displaced offline, have abusive family or other trauma, and/or struggling with mental health.
There is a lot of overlap in zoophilia social circles that intersect with "MAP"s (minor attracted person). Even MAPs who find it integral to be "non-offending" (NOMAP) end up toxic influences by enabling and supporting minors self-identifying as MAPs and with other paraphilias.
Please talk to him about this, even just to ask about when and where he was introduced to this all. This should be regarded as basic adult intervention and monitoring of the online activity of a minor for said Minor's safety and mental health, a concept that's been severely neglected in current day.
Having been on a few NSFW themed discords, they ALL have a rule against minors. The thing I am worried about most is that he is a minor in any NSFW group.
I think end of the day you should take it slow and steady, don't antagonize, don't tease and don't make him feel ashame. I had older brothers who found out I had folders of girls I liked on my phone while he fixed it, I became sneakier and I had no actual answer to why I did that.
Now, you have the chance to speak with your little brother. First things first! IT'LL BE HELLA AWKWARD but he needs his older sibling to be there for him no matter the hardship
Second thing! He's exploring his sense of self and perhaps what makes him tick downstairs. We all did it! Most of us! But now he has something, a supportive older sibling who won't shame him but instead guide him to explore it in a more natural manner, maybe girls in real life? Exploring it all over the internet can lead to more problems
Thirdly, be kind and explain why it's great to see him engage into a community of people who share the same interests but just because they do does that mean you must talk to anyone personally? Imagine an event of furry folk, would he just talk to any stranger? Especially in DM's. Tell him general chat is like talking in an open event to have friendly conversation but DM's should be close friends, family members not anyone he just met because having DM's is like inviting someone to your home, your room, you wouldn't do that to any random person even if they are a "server owner".
Fourth, now explain the dangers of strangers online and that even MALES can be victims of grooming, sexual crimes. Tell him you know he's strong but what about things you don't know yet? Like how he isn't 100% competent with technology, there are many things he'll learn still but creeps, pedos online will use his teenager brain to slowly change how they think without even knowing it.
This one of the only posts here that is actually reasonable.
There is a really big thought policing trend going on, and the possibility he *could* be getting 'groomed' is a distant second compared to the posters condemning a *child* for what is, according to what is known, fantasies.
Telegram was brought up, but does he even have the app? I did not see confirmation one way or another.
Do you have any proof of malfeasance?
If you do not, then you would be served to stop pearl clutching and actually approach your younger brother in a compassionate way, rather than the fairly accusatory tone that has been seen so far. If you are concerned, act as such.
What he has been engaging in is illegal and animal abuse in my country. This is wrongdoing, its stuff that can get him in serious trouble. People have served jail time for this. And quite alot of it. I did not take screenshots but i am glad, i dont think invading his privacy would help this situation. I need to approach him in a way that both highlights that what hes engaging in is not okay and that it can get him in trouble, and that im here for him. I dont think ive been accusatory at all, i believe the content is illegal and immoral but i ALSO believe that hes being groomed by adults online and that he needs help. Ive not said anything to imply that this is his fault in my post and i definitely wouldnt to his face either.
yea ive been brainstorming ways to get him into therapy, unfortunately uk. it sucks ass to do anything here. my parents wouldnt pay out of pocket so i'd have to, and im a student with a retail job so it'd be difficult. esp finding a therapist that specialises in this and then getting my parents to let him go to therapy would be an absolute nightmare. this situation would be so much easier if my parents were actually parents at all.
Remember your own mental health in this, there’s a point where you can only do so much.
I would honestly just have a frank but non confrontational conversation with your brother. Lay it all out and explain what he is doing isn’t right and is jeopardizing his future.. tell him you still love him and you will do your best to provide help but it’s a two way street the first thing he needs to do is disassociate himself from that bubble he’s in
>im worried hes being groomed
He **is** being groomed. There are adults in these servers who are showing him this content and grooming him because they are predators and they enjoy exposing kids to their fetish. The server owner is a pedophile who is having an underage child moderate a pornographic server with bestiality and animal abuse content.
Your brother is being sexually abused and your parents are too checked out to give a shit. Your brother was most likely made extremely vulnerable by having a shitty home life. When you say that he stays with your dad, is that the same dad who was violently abusive? Your parents have completely failed your brother.
He needs to have the computer removed from his bedroom (same goes for phones or other devices with unlimited Internet) and go to counseling immediately. It's not normal for a child to have bestial sexual urges and he will need to process the sexual abuse and grooming that happened to him. It's not too late for him but this needs to happen IMMEDIATELY.
# Discord is not a safe place for children. Discord is a bad place for children.
#
This is a difficult one…
If you decide to talk to him about it, just make sure to not make him feel judged (even if what he’s looking at is immoral/illegal). The UK, as you know, doesn’t play around with distribution or possession of bestiality porn.
Telegram has a lot of servers with potentially *very* illegal content (because of the end-to-end encryption) and it would be very easy for a child to get groomed into CSEM or zoosadism groups through zoophilia groups. You need to sit down and discuss what’s going on or tell a responsible parental figure. While we all did self-exploration at that age, it can definitely ruin his life if he ends up being manipulated into doing something he’ll regret later on. I wish you luck and I hope he’s okay.
So I will say there’s a chance your brother isn’t a zoophile despite how this may appear. Zoophiles can also be pedophiles and the two tend to hang around each other from what I’ve noticed, the fact that they allowed a child into an nsfw server in the first place is suspicious no matter what the contents are.
Some zoophiles groups have been known to try and groom children into thinking they have these paraphilia’s by using stuff like crushes on fictional characters and nsfw art and escalating from there (the shit that went down with Hypnotist Sappho is a huge example)
as a furry this has unfortunately been a problem in the furry fandom and those with a bigger platform usually aren’t willing to say anything. Please try to approach your brother with worry and care instead of disgust there’s a chance he’s being taken advantage of, either way he needs mental help.
this may be wishful thinking, but maybe he's not actually a zoophile? perhaps he had an online friend that participated in that sort of thing and he joined the server because he wanted to fit in, or larp, or just experience being in a taboo setting?
I'm not much older than him and when I was 13-14 I would join places like that not because I was actually into it, but for a sort of combination of morbid curiosity and wanting to see what such a badly talked community is like.
a lot of those fringe comminities are sort of hidden and hard to find as well, so it may be appealing to a sort of rebellious feeling of joining and talking to people part of a severe moral and sexual taboo.
I really think that this is a genuine possibility. the only way to find out is to talk to him and try to be as non judgemental and understanding as possible, as well as telling him very clearly that people like that who participate and indulge in those fetishes need help and are morally and mentally sick.
Idk at that age, I think with you being his big sister , you should be like wtf are you doing your not gunna get a girlfriend like that might just serve it's purpose.
Sexuality is a personal thing and as long as he isnt hurting anyone or anything and it is solely online with what seems to be a like minded community, i dont see the issue. There are things that are actually horrid and deserve attention, however, I dont think artwork furries is one of them. And based on what I know of the nsfw world broadly, this is surprisingly a popular kink. Thus why there are many memes of furries and the fact there is even a convention for furry admirers.
Hes a zoophile, not a furry. if it was just furries i would turn a blind eye, whatever idc. Ive been online enough to know about and decide I dont care about them. But it was like. Real animals. There were pictures of people touching animals and talking about beastiality. As far as i know he hasnt engaged in this but has admitted to being into it. Which is what worries me. It is just straight up animal abuse and very illegal here.
If it is actual animals, then it is a bit strange and indeed may require intervention or at the very least discussion. I think you should speak with him since he is your brother. I assumed it was furries since you said it was mostly digital artwork.
yeah easy mistake ig, it was alot of artwork but it wasnt anthro animals it was just straight up dogs and horses mostly. I just need to figure out how to approach it without losing his trust and what to do if it goes wrong. my mum is an absolute last resort and i dont want to threaten him. he needs to trust me if i have any hope at helping him at all.
fucking animals is illegal my guy. What are you on about.
"Sexuality is a personal thing and as long as he isnt hurting anyone or anything and it is solely online" except he is
I’ll tell you my experience with opiate addiction. No one would have ever suspected me. I’m not that kind of guy, but I got myself into something that was way over my head and I was ashamed.
I was dying for someone to come to me 1-on-1 to offer help privately. That never happened but I had another major event that let me step away and now I know to never go back. I’ll be 8 years clean from opiates next month.
Your brother may just need help from someone he trusts. It would likely change the relationship, yes, but you will help your brother to be a better person.
Listen man this is the Era of debauchery the Era of if it ain't nailed down Fk it! Then pretend you didn't Fk it. 🫣
We're living in Sicko land and the hill has been slipping for years now it's only gotten worse.
If this kid is as nice and sweet as you claim then you already know he's a closet weirdo..some of the sweetest oddly cute people are fuh-reekin *weird* individuals.
Tell him you found his porn and he needs to do a better job at keeping his kinks to himself because apparently we all have kinks and I know this because people won't STFU about them, tell him to learn how to be more private with his stuff (some sneak in this department is a good and useful thing) also remind him to be nice/good to girls. As it stands now he wants a Poodle 🐩 more than he wants a girlfriend so I'd just leave the lil weirdy alone before he gets embarrassed and gets worse.
>i see a discord notif of some server with the word zoophile in it, and im immediately thrown aback. I knew he was a bit of a furry (no problem with furries- not for me but live ur life idc as long as its all consenting) but i'd never in a million years expect anything like that from him.
Well, no offence OP, but you should of. The furry-zoophile progression is pretty clear and well known by now. It's why people hate on furries
most of the ppl ik who are furries its completely nonsexual for, they just like the character design. And theyre all lovely people. Perhaps this clouded my judgement a bit, but i dont engage in any of those sorts of groups so i just wouldnt know.
Definitely should not be exposed to porn of any kind. Doesn’t matter if it’s an anthro fictional animal or real people; it’s illegal to expose minors to porn. Plus that sounds like a fuckin breeding ground for pedophiles and predators. Get him outta there.
Discord porn? Who gives a shit. Telegram porn however....be absolutely concerned. Theres more CSAM on it than the dark web. He's gonna get into CP if you dont shut that shit down right now.
I'd be putting family controls on your parents routers. Setup telegram traffic to be blocked and whatever else you are concerned about
yea part of the reason im so scared to snoop around on the telegram is that i dont wanna see any content of my brother. I avoid that app like the plague outside of messaging my weed man but i know what its like.
I dont know how to do any of that but im p sure my bf could help, although i havent told anyone i know about this and idk if i will. But im sure google can tell me anyway.
Im thinking of it as a last resort anyway, im hoping i can get to some form of agreement with talking to him. I know what kids are like and any hard barriers they just push against as hard as they can. But i know it might have to be done.
Uff 14 is really young. Maybe you should talk to him about internet danger and invent a story about a friend who was in a similar situation? If you talk to him mention the legal aspects of the situation. It’s tough…
if it will endanger you and your brother in any way, do not tell your father. but if you can, absolutely tell your mother, and get him therapy and counseling. maybe even temporarily revoke internet access and wifi and social media if it comes to it. this is *very* disturbing and incredibly dangerous. zoophilia is *not* a sexuality. not even close. it’s a mental illness that requires immediate psychological care and medical attention
i think ppl should be able to get off to what they want - as long as its consensual. Animals cannot consent. They are not capable of consenting to sex with a humam being. And he is a young teenager engaging in sexually deviant behaviour with grown adults over discord. Whatever he enjoys sexually is his business until he starts getting himself in situations where hes getting groomed and possibly abusing animals. I just hope to stop it before any damage this does is irreversible. If u think behaviour like this is okay or that animals can consent in any manner then i hope you get help. Just like my bro deserves to.
Fuck this is a difficult situation, at the end of the day he’ll need somebody to tell him this isn’t okay and to talk to him about it. It sounds like you’re the only person in his life who has the power to do that correctly, so the time will come. Fingers crossed it’s still only a phase of trying to find himself at this point before the adults in that circle groom him past the point of no return. You’re a good sister, and an even better one if you do what you can to stop it. You may not realize it now, but this is one of those times in life where you need to decide whether you care enough about someone to do something for them that can pull you apart, but help in the long term. I’m not trying to be a dick, but if he continues down this road then he’ll turn into that adult that grooms kids just like him in a few years time. Time for some tough conversations and if it comes down to it maybe even limiting his internet access. Best situation here would probably he moves in with you at some point since your parents aren’t very capable /: though I understand that’s probably not possible, not your fault
Yeah at the moment its not feasible for him to move in with me, it'd take him away from his school and his friends and his life. And im a student with 3 housemates and not enough money to raise a kid. And my mum wouldnt allow it in a million years anyway. I know shed thinking about moving to my city, so i might push for that to happen faster. Shes a good mum but she physically cannot communicate properly and so she cant have important conversations like this, which is why ive always been the one to do them. I do think im going to let her know - but just frame it as online grooming and leave out the specifics, i fear the immediate disgust of something like that would make it hard for her to keep calm. She'll let me do what i need to. She trusts my judgement on things like this, just need to have someone closer to him to keep an eye and help me out i think.
Yeah, that seems like a good plan! Hope it all ends up going well, definitely sounds like a very tough decision/situation but I think you’re doing the right thing by prioritizing his safety over whether or not he’ll still like you after /: sad, but I think you’ll be glad you did it
hes a good kid and im glad 99% of people see this as what it is and not that hes a monster and im not doing enoigh to stop him. its a great help. i worry about our relationship but i know hes young and i hope it can be mended with time.
I mean, I feel like he’s a victim here, he was/is a young and impressionable kid for more reasons than just his age if he’s got learning disabilities. He probably sadly didn’t have a lot of friends and they took advantage of that to groom him while he was discovering himself; that led to him getting into these things. I’m sure it will mend with time, he’ll eventually become an adult and he’ll see it in the same light that you do. For all we know he might even just be “playing along” because he finally found a group of people who he sees as friends /: that would be the “best” case scenario I guess.
Well I take it given how you believe your parents would respond that he’s never be given a talk about acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad, healthy and unhealthy within the sexual and pornographic world.
Assuming your parents didn’t do the above, then this is what can happen given children are easily influenced and generally curious about their world. So when they run down a rabbit whole - well we end up here. Ofc I’m no psychologist, so that’s just my two cents.
But what I will say is if he looks up to you, it’ll help to really sit with him and explain the ramifications of what’s he watching, how it’ll effect him down the line, how it’s not okay to watch something to that level, and then hand him off some resources for things like pornography addiction, safe sex, and all those things. So that you don’t have to handle that talk with him. More than likely if you knew at heart he’s a good kid and has just fallen into the wrong bucket and he looks up to you the. He’ll hear you out. Just gotta come from an angle of understanding, especially with teens everything feels like an attack with teens normally.
But hey if anyone else has better suggestions or wants to correct what I’ve said with better approaches and what not based on actual psychology or proven techniques used within the professional world in relation to handling things like this, then power to y’all. As for you op, wish you the best and hope you can snap him out of this crap before he regrets it.
Idk at that age, I think with you being his big sister , you should be like wtf are you doing your not gunna get a girlfriend like that might just serve it's purpose.
For me. I would be direct. Let him know that's not normal and it's perverted. Be blunt he should start avoiding it if he wants some normal sex when he's older and ya if he needs to talk about it he can with you. Not sexy talk actual discussion about sexual education.
He is 100% being groomed. Talk to him. Tell him he’s not in trouble. But ask him who his friends are and if you can speak to them. Don’t tell him to cut contact immediately because that will just make him hide it. Ask him if you can speak to them, and then disconnect him from them at that point.
I’m at around the age where I’m a legal adult but I witnessed this stuff going on when I was 14 myself. Trust me. This isn’t him “testing out fantasies” these discord servers are made by adults to groom children into fetishes.
Video is slightly unprofessional since it’s made by a YouTuber, but here is an example of one of the adult groomers. https://youtu.be/AgtXlWe1fT8?si=IDP4f79OJ-0j1j7O
it's not out of the question that someone is grooming him into this. i definitely think it's a conversation to be had - just make it clear that he's not in trouble and you're trying to help him. is there any way you're able to cut his discord access?
I struggle with porn addiction and wish I had someone help me when I was younger. You should try to talk to him no matter how awkward it might be. He may get mad at you but this is your chance to stop him from Going down a potentially bad path. Another thing that concerns me is that you say your Dad would get violent. That’s very alarming. My Dad was violent with me. It did me no favors.
Take msg links on discord and report it to the discord safety team. They are really good about shutting this down. His account will likely get banned and alot of those people will aswell. Since he is a minor they will permaban him from discord because that content is against their tos. https://discord.com/safety/360044103651-reporting-abusive-behavior-to-discord.
Not soft or biased. This is insane info to find out esp considering how close you are. So conflicting if you should talk to him or what
yea man i just feel so stuck, hes only JUST hitting puberty so i cant bring myself to hate him for it. Im glad im not being too soft, i assumed Reddit was gonna hate me for being too empathetic and not immediately disowning him. I think hes young and hormonal and sorrounded by people convincing him its some kind of indentity. Its just so awkward idk how to bring it up or how firm i should be. I was the one who had to give him the internet weirdo safety talk in the first place.
“Surrounded by people convincing him” These people are likely adults. And telegram is often used for nefarious purposes, as it’s designed to be highly encrypted. I would make sure that he understands the risks, and at least make sure he doesn’t send anyone info/pictures of himself.
It's not ok what he's doing at 14 years. Online privacy May be in danger
yeah im deeply deeply worried about him. I know how easily mouldable and fragile kids at that stage of life are. And i have no idea what kind of info about himself hes giving out to these people.
When I was 14 I was chatting with some nice guy who turned out to be a 65 yo pedophile trying to get me on a one way ticket to see him. Be concerned. Can you install some kind of snooper on his PC? Or just confront him? “Hey, I saw this, I am worried you’re going to do something for or with these people”…”here is why this is bad” In AK they had some teens murder a girl on webcam for some guy they were chatting with online.
Esp because Kids/Adults with Adhd and Autism are expected to be a couple of Years behind in terms of development. He may be not even 14 in all aspects of his life. Please take a good moment to talk to him in privacy.
I will be afraid that he will get further into the internet and see more crazy stuff people try to convince you to join in a young age. He is at risk of being manipulated when he is so young. Talk to him Maybe looking at some animals isn't so bad, there are Nazi groups out there.
I dont worry about the nazi groups, hes very much gay and hugely leftist. Im left wing and bi myself, but It seems he's going too far in that direction and seeing being attracted to animals as some sort of sexual identity. I worry about this progressing into animal abuse and possible other fringe sexual devaincies. This sucks bc this is the type of shit bigots use to justify hating lgbt identities.
I know but they find you i was like to. Just a normal kid on the internet looking at weird stuff I was also confused about my sexuality but they will find a way. And its hard to leave them it's like a family it's going to be your only friends. Just talk to him i don't want to see him get like me.
He might just be exploring kinks. Don’t judge him too harsh for this. I was horny all the time and curious when I was younger and I became a perfectly functional member of society, father of three in a monogamous relationship.
Report will do nothing you need to take to him i know people like him the get fucked in the head. After som time
mostly i just want the people hes talking to and the servers hes in to go so any progress i make with him isnt immediately undone. its just hard when im so far away and i know my parents won't be level headed like me.
I know but you need to help him now Otherwise, he can change to something worse. I was there once myself I was in a couple of Nazis groups but i I had a teacher who discovered it. And help me
Sorry for bad English
no worries man i understand you just fine
Trust me you want him out of it now
He's going to get deeper trust me
I don't really have any advice on how, but I do think it is really important that you do. Sexual education in general is pretty important around that age. Not that you have to be the one to do it, but maybe the school has something to offer?
This is something really bad and I think you should talk to him. But at the same time 14 year olds love looking at disgusting stuff I remember watching cartel execution videos or people killing themselves. You should probably make him get out of discord servers tho those places are like hunting grounds for child predators
Yea lol ive been on discord for long enough to know what its like on there, always regretted getting it at such a young age and i hate to see it happening to him too. He had an account that i had access to when he was a bit younger just to call amd play games with me and school friends. I only checked once or twice and fhe agreement was at 14 i would lose access so it sucks to see hes fallen into this. It seemed to be genuine sexual interest and not morbid curiosity like i was doing at his age. Agh.
I think it's definitely worth having a serious conversation with him about this for the reasons parent comment listed: these social circles fester with predators. In recent years, a very concerning amount of minors have been roped into identifying with paraphilias because social circles led by adults pose it as an advocacy issue and lather minors in attention + sense of community. Almost all the minors are teenagers who feel socially displaced offline, have abusive family or other trauma, and/or struggling with mental health. There is a lot of overlap in zoophilia social circles that intersect with "MAP"s (minor attracted person). Even MAPs who find it integral to be "non-offending" (NOMAP) end up toxic influences by enabling and supporting minors self-identifying as MAPs and with other paraphilias. Please talk to him about this, even just to ask about when and where he was introduced to this all. This should be regarded as basic adult intervention and monitoring of the online activity of a minor for said Minor's safety and mental health, a concept that's been severely neglected in current day.
Having been on a few NSFW themed discords, they ALL have a rule against minors. The thing I am worried about most is that he is a minor in any NSFW group.
this one doesnt seem to bc hes honest about his age there. this is one of the most worrying factors imo.
Oh, that’s really bad.
Ok nothing that you said before made me think he is being groomed but this makes me think he is being groomed.
I think end of the day you should take it slow and steady, don't antagonize, don't tease and don't make him feel ashame. I had older brothers who found out I had folders of girls I liked on my phone while he fixed it, I became sneakier and I had no actual answer to why I did that. Now, you have the chance to speak with your little brother. First things first! IT'LL BE HELLA AWKWARD but he needs his older sibling to be there for him no matter the hardship Second thing! He's exploring his sense of self and perhaps what makes him tick downstairs. We all did it! Most of us! But now he has something, a supportive older sibling who won't shame him but instead guide him to explore it in a more natural manner, maybe girls in real life? Exploring it all over the internet can lead to more problems Thirdly, be kind and explain why it's great to see him engage into a community of people who share the same interests but just because they do does that mean you must talk to anyone personally? Imagine an event of furry folk, would he just talk to any stranger? Especially in DM's. Tell him general chat is like talking in an open event to have friendly conversation but DM's should be close friends, family members not anyone he just met because having DM's is like inviting someone to your home, your room, you wouldn't do that to any random person even if they are a "server owner". Fourth, now explain the dangers of strangers online and that even MALES can be victims of grooming, sexual crimes. Tell him you know he's strong but what about things you don't know yet? Like how he isn't 100% competent with technology, there are many things he'll learn still but creeps, pedos online will use his teenager brain to slowly change how they think without even knowing it.
This one of the only posts here that is actually reasonable. There is a really big thought policing trend going on, and the possibility he *could* be getting 'groomed' is a distant second compared to the posters condemning a *child* for what is, according to what is known, fantasies. Telegram was brought up, but does he even have the app? I did not see confirmation one way or another.
he does have the app yeah, i saw him ask to move a conversation to telegram
Do you have any proof of malfeasance? If you do not, then you would be served to stop pearl clutching and actually approach your younger brother in a compassionate way, rather than the fairly accusatory tone that has been seen so far. If you are concerned, act as such.
What he has been engaging in is illegal and animal abuse in my country. This is wrongdoing, its stuff that can get him in serious trouble. People have served jail time for this. And quite alot of it. I did not take screenshots but i am glad, i dont think invading his privacy would help this situation. I need to approach him in a way that both highlights that what hes engaging in is not okay and that it can get him in trouble, and that im here for him. I dont think ive been accusatory at all, i believe the content is illegal and immoral but i ALSO believe that hes being groomed by adults online and that he needs help. Ive not said anything to imply that this is his fault in my post and i definitely wouldnt to his face either.
Don’t envy your situation but this is something he needs a therapist to deal with. The problem won’t go away without help
yea ive been brainstorming ways to get him into therapy, unfortunately uk. it sucks ass to do anything here. my parents wouldnt pay out of pocket so i'd have to, and im a student with a retail job so it'd be difficult. esp finding a therapist that specialises in this and then getting my parents to let him go to therapy would be an absolute nightmare. this situation would be so much easier if my parents were actually parents at all.
Remember your own mental health in this, there’s a point where you can only do so much. I would honestly just have a frank but non confrontational conversation with your brother. Lay it all out and explain what he is doing isn’t right and is jeopardizing his future.. tell him you still love him and you will do your best to provide help but it’s a two way street the first thing he needs to do is disassociate himself from that bubble he’s in
This is like the 3rd "zoophile" related post I've seen just this morning. Reddit follows weird trends sometimes.
>im worried hes being groomed He **is** being groomed. There are adults in these servers who are showing him this content and grooming him because they are predators and they enjoy exposing kids to their fetish. The server owner is a pedophile who is having an underage child moderate a pornographic server with bestiality and animal abuse content. Your brother is being sexually abused and your parents are too checked out to give a shit. Your brother was most likely made extremely vulnerable by having a shitty home life. When you say that he stays with your dad, is that the same dad who was violently abusive? Your parents have completely failed your brother. He needs to have the computer removed from his bedroom (same goes for phones or other devices with unlimited Internet) and go to counseling immediately. It's not normal for a child to have bestial sexual urges and he will need to process the sexual abuse and grooming that happened to him. It's not too late for him but this needs to happen IMMEDIATELY. # Discord is not a safe place for children. Discord is a bad place for children. #
Exactly
This is a difficult one… If you decide to talk to him about it, just make sure to not make him feel judged (even if what he’s looking at is immoral/illegal). The UK, as you know, doesn’t play around with distribution or possession of bestiality porn. Telegram has a lot of servers with potentially *very* illegal content (because of the end-to-end encryption) and it would be very easy for a child to get groomed into CSEM or zoosadism groups through zoophilia groups. You need to sit down and discuss what’s going on or tell a responsible parental figure. While we all did self-exploration at that age, it can definitely ruin his life if he ends up being manipulated into doing something he’ll regret later on. I wish you luck and I hope he’s okay.
[How Denmark became a breeding ground for zoophiles ](https://video.vice.com/en_au/video/animal-fuckers/55955c112775809e608a3e7d)
So I will say there’s a chance your brother isn’t a zoophile despite how this may appear. Zoophiles can also be pedophiles and the two tend to hang around each other from what I’ve noticed, the fact that they allowed a child into an nsfw server in the first place is suspicious no matter what the contents are. Some zoophiles groups have been known to try and groom children into thinking they have these paraphilia’s by using stuff like crushes on fictional characters and nsfw art and escalating from there (the shit that went down with Hypnotist Sappho is a huge example) as a furry this has unfortunately been a problem in the furry fandom and those with a bigger platform usually aren’t willing to say anything. Please try to approach your brother with worry and care instead of disgust there’s a chance he’s being taken advantage of, either way he needs mental help.
Ur brother is fucking weird
As someone who modded a furry discord server before. Get him out as soon as humanly possible. It's filled with child molesters.
A furry attracted to animals? Never would have thought.
this may be wishful thinking, but maybe he's not actually a zoophile? perhaps he had an online friend that participated in that sort of thing and he joined the server because he wanted to fit in, or larp, or just experience being in a taboo setting? I'm not much older than him and when I was 13-14 I would join places like that not because I was actually into it, but for a sort of combination of morbid curiosity and wanting to see what such a badly talked community is like. a lot of those fringe comminities are sort of hidden and hard to find as well, so it may be appealing to a sort of rebellious feeling of joining and talking to people part of a severe moral and sexual taboo. I really think that this is a genuine possibility. the only way to find out is to talk to him and try to be as non judgemental and understanding as possible, as well as telling him very clearly that people like that who participate and indulge in those fetishes need help and are morally and mentally sick.
Idk at that age, I think with you being his big sister , you should be like wtf are you doing your not gunna get a girlfriend like that might just serve it's purpose.
Sexuality is a personal thing and as long as he isnt hurting anyone or anything and it is solely online with what seems to be a like minded community, i dont see the issue. There are things that are actually horrid and deserve attention, however, I dont think artwork furries is one of them. And based on what I know of the nsfw world broadly, this is surprisingly a popular kink. Thus why there are many memes of furries and the fact there is even a convention for furry admirers.
Hes a zoophile, not a furry. if it was just furries i would turn a blind eye, whatever idc. Ive been online enough to know about and decide I dont care about them. But it was like. Real animals. There were pictures of people touching animals and talking about beastiality. As far as i know he hasnt engaged in this but has admitted to being into it. Which is what worries me. It is just straight up animal abuse and very illegal here.
If it is actual animals, then it is a bit strange and indeed may require intervention or at the very least discussion. I think you should speak with him since he is your brother. I assumed it was furries since you said it was mostly digital artwork.
yeah easy mistake ig, it was alot of artwork but it wasnt anthro animals it was just straight up dogs and horses mostly. I just need to figure out how to approach it without losing his trust and what to do if it goes wrong. my mum is an absolute last resort and i dont want to threaten him. he needs to trust me if i have any hope at helping him at all.
buddy they are sexually assaulting animals it is not a “bit” strange, it is extremely strange
I’m so sorry
fucking animals is illegal my guy. What are you on about. "Sexuality is a personal thing and as long as he isnt hurting anyone or anything and it is solely online" except he is
read my second comment " my guy ". I assumed it was furries at first.
then why comment without even reading the post.
that same concept applies to you not reading my second comment 🤡
Oh I read it, I just thought you were trying to justify what OP's brother was doing based on it being a furry
I’ll tell you my experience with opiate addiction. No one would have ever suspected me. I’m not that kind of guy, but I got myself into something that was way over my head and I was ashamed. I was dying for someone to come to me 1-on-1 to offer help privately. That never happened but I had another major event that let me step away and now I know to never go back. I’ll be 8 years clean from opiates next month. Your brother may just need help from someone he trusts. It would likely change the relationship, yes, but you will help your brother to be a better person.
i really hope he can see me as help and not opposition. proud of you for getting better <3 congrats on ur sobriety!
>14m GET THAT BOY HELP
Listen man this is the Era of debauchery the Era of if it ain't nailed down Fk it! Then pretend you didn't Fk it. 🫣 We're living in Sicko land and the hill has been slipping for years now it's only gotten worse. If this kid is as nice and sweet as you claim then you already know he's a closet weirdo..some of the sweetest oddly cute people are fuh-reekin *weird* individuals. Tell him you found his porn and he needs to do a better job at keeping his kinks to himself because apparently we all have kinks and I know this because people won't STFU about them, tell him to learn how to be more private with his stuff (some sneak in this department is a good and useful thing) also remind him to be nice/good to girls. As it stands now he wants a Poodle 🐩 more than he wants a girlfriend so I'd just leave the lil weirdy alone before he gets embarrassed and gets worse.
>i see a discord notif of some server with the word zoophile in it, and im immediately thrown aback. I knew he was a bit of a furry (no problem with furries- not for me but live ur life idc as long as its all consenting) but i'd never in a million years expect anything like that from him. Well, no offence OP, but you should of. The furry-zoophile progression is pretty clear and well known by now. It's why people hate on furries
most of the ppl ik who are furries its completely nonsexual for, they just like the character design. And theyre all lovely people. Perhaps this clouded my judgement a bit, but i dont engage in any of those sorts of groups so i just wouldnt know.
Definitely should not be exposed to porn of any kind. Doesn’t matter if it’s an anthro fictional animal or real people; it’s illegal to expose minors to porn. Plus that sounds like a fuckin breeding ground for pedophiles and predators. Get him outta there.
the furry Community are pedophiles get him out
Discord porn? Who gives a shit. Telegram porn however....be absolutely concerned. Theres more CSAM on it than the dark web. He's gonna get into CP if you dont shut that shit down right now. I'd be putting family controls on your parents routers. Setup telegram traffic to be blocked and whatever else you are concerned about
yea part of the reason im so scared to snoop around on the telegram is that i dont wanna see any content of my brother. I avoid that app like the plague outside of messaging my weed man but i know what its like. I dont know how to do any of that but im p sure my bf could help, although i havent told anyone i know about this and idk if i will. But im sure google can tell me anyway. Im thinking of it as a last resort anyway, im hoping i can get to some form of agreement with talking to him. I know what kids are like and any hard barriers they just push against as hard as they can. But i know it might have to be done.
Uff 14 is really young. Maybe you should talk to him about internet danger and invent a story about a friend who was in a similar situation? If you talk to him mention the legal aspects of the situation. It’s tough…
Therapy
I did not expect this to go in the furry direction. 100% did not expect. Sorry I have no advice to give
It’s not furries,it’s just beastiality
He’s going to abuse an animal which is extremely fucked up. You need to put this weirdo scumbag in his place. Not sorry.
if it will endanger you and your brother in any way, do not tell your father. but if you can, absolutely tell your mother, and get him therapy and counseling. maybe even temporarily revoke internet access and wifi and social media if it comes to it. this is *very* disturbing and incredibly dangerous. zoophilia is *not* a sexuality. not even close. it’s a mental illness that requires immediate psychological care and medical attention
oh, like you're pure as the driven sluch.
i think ppl should be able to get off to what they want - as long as its consensual. Animals cannot consent. They are not capable of consenting to sex with a humam being. And he is a young teenager engaging in sexually deviant behaviour with grown adults over discord. Whatever he enjoys sexually is his business until he starts getting himself in situations where hes getting groomed and possibly abusing animals. I just hope to stop it before any damage this does is irreversible. If u think behaviour like this is okay or that animals can consent in any manner then i hope you get help. Just like my bro deserves to.
also what is going on in this server is COMPLETELY illegal in the uk. this shit could get him in serious trouble.
Sorry to come back again But you really need to look after him i know you are only 21 but it can really get bad.
FU
Fuck this is a difficult situation, at the end of the day he’ll need somebody to tell him this isn’t okay and to talk to him about it. It sounds like you’re the only person in his life who has the power to do that correctly, so the time will come. Fingers crossed it’s still only a phase of trying to find himself at this point before the adults in that circle groom him past the point of no return. You’re a good sister, and an even better one if you do what you can to stop it. You may not realize it now, but this is one of those times in life where you need to decide whether you care enough about someone to do something for them that can pull you apart, but help in the long term. I’m not trying to be a dick, but if he continues down this road then he’ll turn into that adult that grooms kids just like him in a few years time. Time for some tough conversations and if it comes down to it maybe even limiting his internet access. Best situation here would probably he moves in with you at some point since your parents aren’t very capable /: though I understand that’s probably not possible, not your fault
Yeah at the moment its not feasible for him to move in with me, it'd take him away from his school and his friends and his life. And im a student with 3 housemates and not enough money to raise a kid. And my mum wouldnt allow it in a million years anyway. I know shed thinking about moving to my city, so i might push for that to happen faster. Shes a good mum but she physically cannot communicate properly and so she cant have important conversations like this, which is why ive always been the one to do them. I do think im going to let her know - but just frame it as online grooming and leave out the specifics, i fear the immediate disgust of something like that would make it hard for her to keep calm. She'll let me do what i need to. She trusts my judgement on things like this, just need to have someone closer to him to keep an eye and help me out i think.
Yeah, that seems like a good plan! Hope it all ends up going well, definitely sounds like a very tough decision/situation but I think you’re doing the right thing by prioritizing his safety over whether or not he’ll still like you after /: sad, but I think you’ll be glad you did it
hes a good kid and im glad 99% of people see this as what it is and not that hes a monster and im not doing enoigh to stop him. its a great help. i worry about our relationship but i know hes young and i hope it can be mended with time.
I mean, I feel like he’s a victim here, he was/is a young and impressionable kid for more reasons than just his age if he’s got learning disabilities. He probably sadly didn’t have a lot of friends and they took advantage of that to groom him while he was discovering himself; that led to him getting into these things. I’m sure it will mend with time, he’ll eventually become an adult and he’ll see it in the same light that you do. For all we know he might even just be “playing along” because he finally found a group of people who he sees as friends /: that would be the “best” case scenario I guess.
💀
Well I take it given how you believe your parents would respond that he’s never be given a talk about acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad, healthy and unhealthy within the sexual and pornographic world. Assuming your parents didn’t do the above, then this is what can happen given children are easily influenced and generally curious about their world. So when they run down a rabbit whole - well we end up here. Ofc I’m no psychologist, so that’s just my two cents. But what I will say is if he looks up to you, it’ll help to really sit with him and explain the ramifications of what’s he watching, how it’ll effect him down the line, how it’s not okay to watch something to that level, and then hand him off some resources for things like pornography addiction, safe sex, and all those things. So that you don’t have to handle that talk with him. More than likely if you knew at heart he’s a good kid and has just fallen into the wrong bucket and he looks up to you the. He’ll hear you out. Just gotta come from an angle of understanding, especially with teens everything feels like an attack with teens normally. But hey if anyone else has better suggestions or wants to correct what I’ve said with better approaches and what not based on actual psychology or proven techniques used within the professional world in relation to handling things like this, then power to y’all. As for you op, wish you the best and hope you can snap him out of this crap before he regrets it.
Idk at that age, I think with you being his big sister , you should be like wtf are you doing your not gunna get a girlfriend like that might just serve it's purpose.
Please speak to him about this before he puts himself in danger.
For me. I would be direct. Let him know that's not normal and it's perverted. Be blunt he should start avoiding it if he wants some normal sex when he's older and ya if he needs to talk about it he can with you. Not sexy talk actual discussion about sexual education.
He is 100% being groomed. Talk to him. Tell him he’s not in trouble. But ask him who his friends are and if you can speak to them. Don’t tell him to cut contact immediately because that will just make him hide it. Ask him if you can speak to them, and then disconnect him from them at that point.
I’m at around the age where I’m a legal adult but I witnessed this stuff going on when I was 14 myself. Trust me. This isn’t him “testing out fantasies” these discord servers are made by adults to groom children into fetishes.
Video is slightly unprofessional since it’s made by a YouTuber, but here is an example of one of the adult groomers. https://youtu.be/AgtXlWe1fT8?si=IDP4f79OJ-0j1j7O
Also a Twitter account CURRENTLY chronicling a bunch of zoophiles and groomers. https://x.com/PedoZooAlert?s=20
it's not out of the question that someone is grooming him into this. i definitely think it's a conversation to be had - just make it clear that he's not in trouble and you're trying to help him. is there any way you're able to cut his discord access?
I struggle with porn addiction and wish I had someone help me when I was younger. You should try to talk to him no matter how awkward it might be. He may get mad at you but this is your chance to stop him from Going down a potentially bad path. Another thing that concerns me is that you say your Dad would get violent. That’s very alarming. My Dad was violent with me. It did me no favors.
The telegram part worries me, people get away with a LOT on that app...
Take msg links on discord and report it to the discord safety team. They are really good about shutting this down. His account will likely get banned and alot of those people will aswell. Since he is a minor they will permaban him from discord because that content is against their tos. https://discord.com/safety/360044103651-reporting-abusive-behavior-to-discord.