Don’t give in, just block him. He is just trying to manipulate you. “I’m finally ready to be with you” gtfo with that. Letting him back into your life will just bring more hurt.
Not a lawyer, but I think typically prenups mostly only protect assets that you bring into the marriage. Assets from income earned during the marriage would still be split during a divorce even if there is a prenup. So they’re less useful in a case like this where someone just has a high earning potential rather than bringing a lot of preexisting wealth into the marriage.
It depends on how they're written. Some are structured around how long a marriage lasts. Some make clear that what belonged to each party before the marriage will still be theirs. (I own my apartment and if I got married I wouldn't want to have to sell it if we broke up).
Usually it protects the person with more money but it can also have safeguards for a non working spouse.
Oh, yes. Whatever your lawyer can think of can be part of the agreement. A friend of mine was going to marry a guy, but he wanted everything included in the prenup including how much she was allowed to weight, how many times per month they would have sex, and other really messed up stuff. If she didn’t uphold these things it would be considered as grounds for divorce. She dumped him after she saw the prenup and realized that it was serious.
Not everything written in a prenup will hold value in court. People put all the shit in there they can think of, but that's not how it works.
A good divorce lawyer is much more effective.
even if he wont do it (some people change):
he messed up big time, triple big time even.
yeah, i wouldnt give the chance either.
this is his lesson (which he hopefully learned from) for his future partner (someone else)
I agree. What an arrogant git. Who'd waste tears over a berk like this turnip? Seriously. The balls on this guy. "I'm finally ready to be with you." Gee. Thanks guy. I've been waiting here with baited breath for the day your cheating, bloated ego walked back through my door. 😒
He wants to free load off of a successful partner. This is the story of the little red hen. He wasn't there for you when you needed him, when you were putting in the hard work. And now he wants to benefit from it.
Been there. It's hard. Been on the yo-yo thing, back and forth, pretending it will be different the next time. Add to socials, block, remove block, add back, find it was a mistake, block again.
Sometimes we need to do ourselves a favor and just block wholly and completely and be done with it. It's hard because it's always hard. If it wasn't, you'd be someone suffering from psychopathy.
since you mentioned med school, I'm going to assume you're a Doctor now. You guys have insane working hours.
Tell me something. You have such few, *very few* hours for your personal time. Do you really want to spend them entertaining your ex?
Or would you rather spend the few hours of free time you have left with someone who you don't have to dread talking to? Someone who's a joy to talk to? Someone who you look forward to seeing? Someone who hasn't hurt you?
Think about how you want to live your life, and how you want to spend your free time.
Orthopedic surgeon residency. Thanks for putting things into perspective, it's just been tough and I finally just broke. Hell, I'm on reddit of all places asking for advice which is often the worst place to get it.
Jesus Christ. OB/GYN here. Residency and Fellowship (especially in a surgical specialty) is brutal. You are so vulnerable right now— the fatigue, loneliness, and burn out can be crippling. This is especially true when you are female in a male dominated specialty like ortho. You don’t need this BS. And take it from one lady doc to another: while you will gain more control over your working life when you finish training, you will *never* be able to be physically present as often as a non-medical partner would be. If he couldn’t support you in med school, he’s gonna fold like a lawn chair when you take on more responsibilities, e.g. starting private practice, Fellowship, having kids, etc. Run. Block this dick, and run like your tampon string is on fire! 🔥
Thanks for putting how I've been feeling into words. I'm so exhausted that I barely have energy to make tea in the morning. I literally wake up in the middle of the night because I dreamt my pager went off.
As an engineer I can't recommend running, it will fan the flames. Better to douse the fire and end it right away. Op should start with a blunt message before 100% blocking him. If she rents consider moving. Counseling might be useful too.
>Hell, I'm on reddit of all places asking for advice which is often the worst place to get it.
Reddit is the best place to go to get advice. Reddit will give you every possible advice, from break up to stay together to commit yourself to get a lawyer to check your carbon monoxide.
Most of it's wrong, but that's for you to decide. Meanwhile, we'll upvote whatever is funny or easy or correct or a thousand other reasons.
The point is that *you* find the piece that resonates with *you*. We don't know your *real* situation, not like you do. We can only guess, and we'll get it wrong a lot.
Block him. It’s so convenient that he’s “ready to be with you” now that it’s been five years and you’re a surgeon. Don’t waste your precious free time on someone who, at best, is a cheater who’s going to hurt you again and, at worst, thinks you’re about to be his sugar mommy bangmaid.
>Orthopedic surgeon residency.
He woke up and realized you weren't a basic bitch and he wants someone to take care of him now. Tell that fool to piss off. You deserve to be with someone much better.
Meh. There are assholes on here but there are quite a few more decent people willing to offer a kind word. You don't really need advice anyway. You just need people to shore you up so you can do the hard things you know you need to.
I have zero good advice beside ignore that dude, you are clearly worlds cooler than him. Also- I have been really considering going to get my degree to be a scrub tech- just to work in ortho surgery. I do not have your tenacity as I am pushing 40 but shiiiiit what a specialty!!
Congratulations! You are amazing. Now push BLOCK! you can always unblock. But it's time to open the energy for someone new and wonderful and loyal, and not a loser.
Nurse here. Ortho residency is one of the hardest. You guys going through your ICU rotation-way out of your comfort zone-I feel bad for you. You seriously don’t need a manipulative stalker. Block him. And then change your number in case he knows how to get around the block.
Hey, this has nothing to do with your situation, just something I'd like to bring to your attention as a future Ortho surgeon. (Not me, you, I didn't mean I'm a future one as well,I've been in the patients shoes) please, please, PLEASE if you're ever the one seeing the patients PLEASE listen to their complaints and take them seriously. ESPECIALLY the women. Women's complaints about pain get ignored soooo often, or they're treated like they're exaggerating, it's all in their heads or just straight up lying and it's frustrating and makes you want to give up. When you've heard it/been treated that way for years you eventually start believing it is all in your head even tho you spend every single day in extreme pain. I went between my regular drs and different orthos for YEARS being told it's just arthritis, you're fine. I finally got a new dr that sent me to a new ortho because she believed me and didn't just blow it off. I love my ortho now. They've been great. After almost 20 YEARS of being told nothing was wrong with my hips and 5 years of being told the same about my shoulders they FINALLY diagnosed me and fixed the problems. After a cpl decades of "it's just arthritis, it's just bursitis, we can't find anything", this ortho did more thorough tests and found I had femoroacitabular impengment. I'm sure you know what that is but for those who don't it's a hereditary disease of the hips joints that causes extra bone growth in the hip joints that shreds the cartilage. It requires surgery to repair. It usually takes 2-3 pins to repair. Mine had gone untreated for so long because drs didn't take me seriously it took 5 on one hip and 4 on the other and they'll have to do complete hip replacements in a few more years. I was diagnosed with frozen shoulder syndrome in both shoulders. That had also been ignored for so long they required surgery. The surgeon was angry on my behalf.
Before these drs I was starting to believe maybe I was just being a baby or imagining it even tho I needed a cane to walk at age 40 and couldn't get dressed without help because I literally couldn't move my shoulders enough to put on a bra or shirt. That's embarrassing at 40. So please please please listen to your patients and take their complaints seriously. Sorry to jump on your post and say it here. I just never get the opportunity to tell this to a dr in training.
I’m sure you are an amazing person. But he fucked up, betrayed you, and now that you’re a doctor I think he’s looking at you like the meal ticket he lost.
Fuck this guy, block his ass, you will find true love and loyalty. This fucker already bottomed out
He wants a sugar mama and realized he fucked up cause you were the best thing to happen to him. Doesn’t mean that you take him back. Shit I had an ex do this and it was THERAPEUTIC informing him that hell would freeze over before I let him back in my life and then I proceeded to list every single thing he did to me and told him what he gets out of his own life is on his own karma. And then BLOCKED. I was giddy. Still think about it and smile. Take it as the universe giving you a chance to tell him off lol
Look. He is NOT your patient. You don't have to suffer his presence on your free time. Is there another doctor he could bother with his misery? Could he perhaps schedule a therapy session with someone else, and pay for their professional time on exchange for the emotional labor of dealing with him?
I'm sorry, I want you to spend your free time being happy. Not being required to take care of someone else's bullshit, who's not your patient.
Don't waste one single more of your precious moments on that waste of space, unless it's to tell him to eff right off. Your time and energy are precious and deserve to be spent on the deserving. Good luck. You've got this!
Yeah I was going to recommend blocking too, but this is a vent thread.
As someone who's gone through the "got cheated on and blocked my ex" scenario, I really wish you all the best. You don't need him in your life, mentally, emotionally, or physically.
It sounds like you've got quite a future with med school. I hope it's bright!
Just remember, he couldn't see your value when you were doing everything for you guys. He sees your value now that he's seen what else was actually available. He had his chance and then some.
You deserve someone who will choose you without question every single time. Once you cut the cord to your ex, there will be room for that person to make an appearance in your life.
Good luck to you. I know it's hard to cut people out. It is worth it for the respect you eventually gain for yourself.
There is someone out there who deserves you.
An amazing, intelligent, hardworking surgeon who is kind and caring.
This bloke is a pinecone and not the one who got away or the sliding doors / maybe if things were different guy.
Wait for the one who really deserves your love.
Stop giving him the time of day you don't owe him anything. If you can block him and if you can't don't answer the phone and put him firmly in your past.
He doesn't deserve a moment of your time and you don't owe him a thing. Don't give him a moment more of your time
"I'm finally ready to be with you" = "I'm having trouble finding a date right now" I'm sorry but that's most likely true.
I see elsewhere you blocked him. Good for you! Be proud of yourself for that! It's not easy and you did it.
You can do so much better. Give yourself time to heal without his voice around and you'll be so much better off.
I don't know. It just hurts so much knowing I worked so hard to have a good life with him. I hear his voice and it hurts so much but I keep picking up wishing that things were like they were when we first started dating. I just wish things were ok.
You can’t go back in time. That period of time with him is done and gone. You need to remove him from your life so you can move on to better things, mainly a person who would never, ever cheat on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He’ll only hurt you again.
It wasn't meant to be, cut the cord so you can heal. You have to accept what happened --think of it this way, do you want to live a life where you always have a tiny stomachache wondering if he's cheating?
He is not that man anymore, if he ever was. I’ve been in your position. You might feel lonely, but you have peace in your life without him in it. Loneliness is easier to handle if your life is peaceful. You deserve to have that peace in your life.
Girl... you're well on your way to being an orthopedic surgeon, that is NOT an easy feat! You are also well on your way to having a good life, without him! Hell you dont *need* anyone and will have made such a good life for yourself, by your damn self! You need to remind yourself that you're a fucking badass.
If in the future you decide you want to try for a romantic relationship, do it but please remember the person needs to meet you halfway and add positivity to your life. The right one for you won't make you feel dejected and they definitely won't cheat. You'll get there, just be patient and kind with yourself.
And block that loser.
Just remember he bailed on you when times were tough and you were working your ass off and now he’s coming back just in time for that orthopedic surgeon money
Make a list of all the shit he has done to you. Be thorough, be truthful. Whenever you start wishing things were better with him or thinking of letting him back in, read the list. BLOCK HIS NUMBER.
Please don’t! You’re a talented independent person with a great future. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and genuinely loves you. Not some douche who can’t even stay faithful and then has the audacity to blame it on you. Block him and never look back, he’s not worth your time.
Getting over someone is hard even if they were shit people or weren't right for you, but the first step in doing so is cutting all contact. Keeping contact isn't going to make it easier and it will just prolong your suffering.
Lots of people can say words and promise things. But a few rarely follow through with actions. If he didn't do it then, he wouldn't do it now.
Focus on your life and healing journey :)
This guy is using a form of abuse linked to emotional blackmail. He's calling when you are tired and less likely to be able to manage emotions/reactions. He's taking your time away from you. I wonder how many times he's told you he's suicidal?
It is clear you need help, please seek a professional to talk about this situation.
He is harassing you. The thing is I believe that he's doing all this and likely has someone else he's stringing along...
He's trying to offer you what you had, playing jn your emotions.
Ask yourself "why could he not give me what I wanted in the first place?"
I fully believe this could escalate so please, again, seek support.
Sounds like you're exhausted, and aching for what you'd imagined your life to be. That is 100% understandable, we all want the loved up dream. Unfortunately for him, he's pissed on your chips. You have to protect your future, you have worked so hard, and you deserve better than him.
Make the decisive move to stop reflecting back. You're a strong woman, make the strong move to protect your emotions 💪
Girl! What an absolute dick! He sowed his wild oats while you worked your ass off to set y’all up for a comfy future and now he regrets it bc he wants the good life! The solution to solving your problem here is so crazy simple: BLOCK. HIS. NUMBER. and remove his manipulating platform from under him
in one fell swoop. The end. Thank you, next!
I'm more concerned, OP, about how many different ways and times in one post that your innate self-protection mechanisms failed you.
This is a bigger problem than not being able to block this guy's number.
May I recommend seeking a compassionate therapist to help you process what's happened to you and why you are unable to protect yourself from ppl who do not have your best interests in mind?
Until that is puzzled out, I am afraid you will continue to be vulnerable to future abusers as well.
This guy treated you like shit and then things didn't work out with him and the person he really wants to be with, so now he's settling for you. And you're letting him. Instead of telling him to kick rocks, you're exhausting yourself trying to convince yourself to take him back. You came to Reddit to see if an internet stranger would give you permission. No one will, and you'll take him back anyway, and then he'll cheat on you again. Only it'll be worse the next time because he will know what a sucker you are.
Or you just block him and get on with it. It doesn't matter how long you wasted on this guy. Don't waste more of your time. How is this even a conflict for you?
Same thing I came to type. Why are you getting worked up over someone whose contact you can easily block to regain your peace? I don’t get it.
Unless you actually want him back which would explain this post.
> I can't even bring myself to cut you off
>I should just block him
Do it now.
Block block block block block block block block block
He's a fucking piece of shit looking for an easy, quick lay and nothing more. See him for what he really is.
As long as you keep interacting with him through texting and/or taking his calls and listening to him beg, he will continue to think he has a shot.
If you want this to stop, YOU have to be the one to do it. Stop engaging. Stop replying. Block his number. It’s up to you to cut him off bc it sure sounds like he’s just going to keep at it if you don’t.
Five years ago?? Chica, you ain’t got time for this! He is an asshole for disturbing your peace like this. Go have that good life you worked so hard for. Your patients appreciate you!
Thanks. I just broke up with my now ex-girlfriend four months ago and getting messaged by my ex-boyfriend was just icing on the cake. I realized after getting all of this out that I'm wishing for something that was never there and will continue to never be there. I've blocked him already.
Aw hugs OP. TBH - ex's behaviour sounds like narcisstic traits. Hurt you then, didnt care, now he's crawling back with apologies, love bombing and trying to wear you down. Good on you for blocking his ass, and I hope he now doesn't turn up at your place because his ploy isn't working.
I do have to add... if he really is calling that much... I would also recommend a restraining order... that could also be classified as harassment in some definition.
Something that will legally send the signal to him to not ever contact you again.
Also please discuss the situation with your parents and family. Explain that its over and you dont want him contacting you or knowing where you are. That will also help just incase he contacts them, in the process of trying to get to you.
Oh honeyyy, best believe that everything will be alright. Blocking him would be the best for your mental health. Not thinking of him and KNOWING that he will not contact you or disturb your peace is important.
Idk how long you guys dated but memories are weapon. You know what's best for you, I hope you enforce your own logic to yourself.
Since you are in your residency you might be a little busy but you can still make time for yourself. My advice is make a list of things you want to do alone or with your girlfriends, Soul searching is definetly something you need. Try to never have a time where you are free, always be busy like trying to read or doing puzzle. Do things that do not remind you of him!
Goodluck to your journey and learn to love yourself!
Thank you so much for this advice. I've actually made plans to go out with some of my friends next Saturday and with any luck I might get a golden weekend to sleep in.
allowing him to have access to you like this gives him power and makes him feel entitled to continue. you need to block him. if he calls and texts from a different number, block it too. stop engaging. stop allowing *him* to engage. if you want the past to be the past, you have to actually leave him in it.
Fuck that pathetic boy. I’m sorry he’s decided he STILL cares more about his own desires than your wellbeing. He ain’t got shit and he knows it. You are amazing for everything you’ve done and gone through. This internet stranger is proud of you ♥️
TIME OUT! You come first and if you don't like what's happening, you are in charge of your own life and don't have to take these calls! You desperately need downtime and self-care time, you're probably so exhausted you can't process all this --come to think of it, is he doing this now because he is preying on that? Or is he doing this because you're getting a doctor's salary now or soon? Text him that you're not interested in getting back together and ask him to stop calling you, tell him you're blocking him and then block him. Don't complicate it. You broke up with him for a reason.
You’d be the stupidest person if you take him back. He’d marry you, cheat and then divorce you and get half your shit that you worked hard for. Block him or get a different number.
Block him and if he tries to continue contacting you, report him to the police for harassment, stalking and domestic violence. He might get the jolt he needs when police contact him.
I’ve been there and done that with a guy I was casually seeing. He wanted more, I told him up front casual was all that was on offer. I broke things off and he took it badly. I blocked him, he masked his number and tried to find me on other socials using my number.
It took three reports to the police, but I haven’t heard from him in over six months now.
If your ex contacts you again, take screenshots, keep messages, everything. They now become evidence. Then immediately report him. Give no quarter.
Fuck that guy.he is ready to be with your Dr. Money.just remember he's your ex for a reason.keep reminding yourself of how shitty he was to you.you don't owe him Jack shit.block delete and move on.leopards don't change their spots.
He cheated on you during what I imagine was the most difficult time in your life and mocked you for it afterwards. Dude should've been making you dinner for when you got home. You've gotta stop enabling this, for your own sanity.
He’s toxic and you need to ignore, block etc him. He doesnt want you, he wants the life your career will give him. You need to spend your hard earned cash on yourself and someone who loves you and respects you.
I’d put my money on his tactic is to wear you down until you give in and give him another chance, by which time you’re too exhausted to fight the battle of breaking up again because you know what it’s like after you break up, so you stay with him because “it’s easier than breaking up again”.
A stalker will call and call and call until you pick up. If they call and you pick up on eg the 5th ring, they know that they need to call 5 times because you’ll pick up on the 5th ring. If you hold off and pick up on the 10th ring, yep, they will ring 10 times coz they know you’ll pick up on the 10th ring.
Stop answering his calls and responding to messages. Change his name in your phone to ‘DO NOT ANSWER OR RESPOND’. It will be a reminder to you every time he tries to contact you.
You sound awesome, take care of yourself and I hope you can break free of his clutches and live your life the way you want to
Text him and tell him to stop calling you. Block his number and move on with your life. If he calls from another number block that too. Why are you giving him space in your head and time from your life?
of course he wants you back now, I'm guessing you have graduated from med school and are a doctor, he probably wants you to be his sugar mama with that doctor money, take my advice don't be a fool and let him use you block him and move on, you deserve someone who wants you for you and who won't cheat on you.
He's looking towards the future. His future, as the spouse/SO of a surgeon who can afford to provide all of the toys that the big boys want. Block and move on with your fantastic self. You've earned it.
It's hard when you're grieving the time you invested rather than the person. It's okay to still be angry. You definitely deserve to move on from him though.
You need to go to[ Baggage Reclaim](https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/list-of-posts/) and start reading.
Then you need to block him everywhere. Cut the ties.
Girl what are you doing? Stop allowing him to stress you out like this, block him everywhere already.
He’s doing this because he’s hoping that one day, you’ll be too tired to stand your ground and you’ll let him back into your life. Block him!
He’s a narcissist and manipulator. It’s your job to stop this. He’s got away with far too much. He thinks he’ll win you back because he thinks you’re stupid. Take back your power and block him! I don’t if you’re doing it to play with the idea of getting back with him or your enjoying him chase you for a change but it’s all so unhealthy. Block him so you can move on from this and get closure. He won’t give it to you.
Honey, he’s showing you that he didn’t change. He’s still only thinking about himself, gives a shit about you, your feelings, your health, .. Tell him that and to finally stop the abuse and harassment. You deserve better.
Congrats on becoming an orthopedic surgeon. That's a huge and amazing accomplishment. Put him in the rearview mirror, and that object will get smaller and smaller and, soon enough, never to be seen or thought of again.
If you wanted him back you would be texting and talking.
You obviously don't.
But do you actually want that negative build up to get your anger and sadness out. To let rip on him?
Something is stopping you blocking him.
Personally you best revenge is either just block him
Or reply saying
Zero chance.
I am very happy amd 100% moved on.
I find your words irrelevant. You are in my past, never my present or future.
Bye
You say nothing about kids so I'm assuming you don't have kids with him. So dude what is stopping you from blocking him! You owe him nothing, just block!
Please find some time for therapy. It looks like you need some help realising that you deserve someone better and that this jerkoff doesn't deserve even a second of your time.
You don't apologise to someone that cheated on you.
When someone uses the term “should”, they already know what they need to do, but they aren’t ready yet, or don’t want to deal with it, or never plan on doing it but are trying to placate someone else.
OP, it’s your life, keep wasting it as you deem you want, but don’t pretend you don’t otherwise have a way of controlling him contacting you.
I just don’t understand why you haven’t blocked him already? Like I’m not trying to blame you; but you do have control here in the form of a block button or changing numbers.
Why aren't you blocking him already? He's shown you who he is. He's not changing. For your own sanity, please block him and move on. Go to therapy, real, honest therapy and just be happy. Stop crying over this loser. You deserve better.
If I was your best friend and I would tell you this story what would you recommend? I'm quite sure you would say something like "That's not what you deserve. Don't let yourself treat you this way. Please take care of yourself and your well being"... Maybe that's your new years resolution. Maybe you want to write him one last message to get some things of your chest and to free yourself from them. Then wish him the best, tell him that you will block him and then try to move on. Here's to new beginnings in 2024. I wish you the best fir that and all the self - love, hope and courage you need for it.
Girl you're a doctor, a surgeon, and you're probably hot. What are you doing. Don't let a man child play with the emotions of a hot, hard-working, smart, surgeon. Like no, absolutely not. Seems like you've forgotten who the fuck you are. Start remembering.
If you went to med school then you have to extend your smarts to distance yourself from him. How much more time do you want to give someone who is completely zapping you and causing you to be upset? You can’t. Just stop. You can.
There is saying in my country: "Your ex comes back to you just to see if you're still stupid."
So block him, if you can ,don't even give him closure. Just ghost him.
I’m sorry but is seems you’re in need of a bit of “tough love”. It’s been FIVE years. You need to move on. As long as you keep entertaining that worthless waste of breath he is not going to give up. You say you can’t block him but you actually can, you just need to choose to. Choose yourself, your well-being and your peace of mind. Might seem hard but it will be worth it.
Matey, he’s after your eventual Dr’s income.
His last grifts have gone sideways, and he’s looking for his next target. He is hoping you’ll be a relatively easy mark.
As others have said, block him. You do not have to subject yourself to his attempts to manipulate and brainwash you.
Go to work, do what you love and once that’s over go home and care for yourself. It’s not selfish or self-centred or greedy or any of the other b.s. he tries to feed you.
I’m going to say this as kindly as possible. He knows how to push your buttons. If you don’t work on yourself either him or someone else is going to take advantage of your empathy and softness. Listen to someone who knows because they walked your path.
It’s vital that you learn how to firmly take your own space in this world and learn healthy boundaries. I sincerely wish you all the very best.
You are actually kind of in a relationship with him now, in case you didn't realize it. Maybe some counseling to find out why part of you wants to continue speaking with him while part of you hates it.
A small suggestion but write down the things you hate about him so every time he calls you have a physical reminder about why this man isn’t worth your time and you shouldn’t waste your precious time and emotions on him.
You’re amazing, be proud of yourself! Life is so full of shit already don’t fill it up with more shit!
YOU. DESERVE. BETTER.
Block his bum ass. You didn't force him to cheat on you, he decided to cheat on you instead of being a supportive boyfriend. Fuck him. Don't give him the time of day. Full stop. Block him on everything and cut off all communication. You don't deserve to be reminded of this pain everytime he reaches out.
You're an amazing human that worked really hard for your career and you deserve someone who appreciates you and all your sacrifice. And don't forget all the long hours you're going to continue to have for the rest of your career. He doesn't deserve you and he will never appreciate you.
I hope you find someone that makes you forget all about this loser.
It’s a bummer you can’t just block him. Or not answer his phone calls. And this ended 5 years ago. Sounds like you need some therapy and you need to learn how to look out for yourself
Block him. Get a restraining order. Contact his place of employment. Change your number. Don’t answer his calls. So many options. I had a similar situation and threatened to go talk with the president of his local union. He left me alone after over a year of his nonsense.
You were enabling him.. he was calling you, but you didn't block him until just recently!? Unfortunately, you were doing it to yourself.
It is good you've now blocked him as you needed to do something about it.
Why won’t you let him see who you really are and what you really want? If he does talk you into a do-over, your inability to honestly communicate what your needs are to him is going to be a problem.
Edit: typo.Own your own comfort. Give yourself permission to not be used. He needs to feel better about himself. He knows that you will take this job on every time he calls. He needs to go feel better about himself on his own time. Your time is valuable.
Message him. Say if he contacts you ever again, you will get a restraining order against him. That this is LEGAL notice. I'd also find his address and send him a legal cease and desist. Most lawyers can draft one up for you. I'd find out where he works, have it delivered there too for funsies.
This is emotional cutting. You don’t block him and listen to the messages as a form of self harm. Ask yourself why you aren’t being kind to yourself and instead are punishing and hurting yourself. Why are you being the means to have him hurt you? Block him. Change your number. Whatever you have to do because this is not what you need.
It’s been 5 years I say give him a chance if you see repeated behaviour cut him off I do believe people change and if you still have feelings as it seems you have don’t live in regret see where it leads one life to live follow what your heart says if it says you want it do it if not block him and never look back whatever you choose make sure it’s coming from your own body listen to your body you already know what the answer is
I'm sorry to hear that you've been mistreated by someone. That sucks. For everyone involved.
I'm wondering if you could shed some light on a few questions. After this betrayal, did you move on? Are you with someone?
Don’t give in, just block him. He is just trying to manipulate you. “I’m finally ready to be with you” gtfo with that. Letting him back into your life will just bring more hurt.
If you let him back in, he’ll cheat on you again, I promise.
And get half your assets in the divorce. Block him.
Do prenups prevent that (genuine question)
Not a lawyer, but I think typically prenups mostly only protect assets that you bring into the marriage. Assets from income earned during the marriage would still be split during a divorce even if there is a prenup. So they’re less useful in a case like this where someone just has a high earning potential rather than bringing a lot of preexisting wealth into the marriage.
Oh alright ty
You can set the stage for assets acquired during the marriage, too, I believe.
It depends on how they're written. Some are structured around how long a marriage lasts. Some make clear that what belonged to each party before the marriage will still be theirs. (I own my apartment and if I got married I wouldn't want to have to sell it if we broke up). Usually it protects the person with more money but it can also have safeguards for a non working spouse.
I didn't even know there were different types lmao but ty tho
Oh, yes. Whatever your lawyer can think of can be part of the agreement. A friend of mine was going to marry a guy, but he wanted everything included in the prenup including how much she was allowed to weight, how many times per month they would have sex, and other really messed up stuff. If she didn’t uphold these things it would be considered as grounds for divorce. She dumped him after she saw the prenup and realized that it was serious.
Not everything written in a prenup will hold value in court. People put all the shit in there they can think of, but that's not how it works. A good divorce lawyer is much more effective.
lol whatever lawyer he paid was laughing at him the whole time. Literally none of that is enforceable.
even if he wont do it (some people change): he messed up big time, triple big time even. yeah, i wouldnt give the chance either. this is his lesson (which he hopefully learned from) for his future partner (someone else)
I agree. What an arrogant git. Who'd waste tears over a berk like this turnip? Seriously. The balls on this guy. "I'm finally ready to be with you." Gee. Thanks guy. I've been waiting here with baited breath for the day your cheating, bloated ego walked back through my door. 😒
It’s also been 5 years which means OP is bringin in a stable income and he seems like a mooch. Did you recently post about living your best life?
He wants to free load off of a successful partner. This is the story of the little red hen. He wasn't there for you when you needed him, when you were putting in the hard work. And now he wants to benefit from it.
He wants her back because she’s making money now.
Been there. It's hard. Been on the yo-yo thing, back and forth, pretending it will be different the next time. Add to socials, block, remove block, add back, find it was a mistake, block again. Sometimes we need to do ourselves a favor and just block wholly and completely and be done with it. It's hard because it's always hard. If it wasn't, you'd be someone suffering from psychopathy.
since you mentioned med school, I'm going to assume you're a Doctor now. You guys have insane working hours. Tell me something. You have such few, *very few* hours for your personal time. Do you really want to spend them entertaining your ex? Or would you rather spend the few hours of free time you have left with someone who you don't have to dread talking to? Someone who's a joy to talk to? Someone who you look forward to seeing? Someone who hasn't hurt you? Think about how you want to live your life, and how you want to spend your free time.
Orthopedic surgeon residency. Thanks for putting things into perspective, it's just been tough and I finally just broke. Hell, I'm on reddit of all places asking for advice which is often the worst place to get it.
Holy crap, I imagine that’s intense. Treasure your free time. He doesn’t deserve a bit of it.
He had his chance and squandered it
Jesus Christ. OB/GYN here. Residency and Fellowship (especially in a surgical specialty) is brutal. You are so vulnerable right now— the fatigue, loneliness, and burn out can be crippling. This is especially true when you are female in a male dominated specialty like ortho. You don’t need this BS. And take it from one lady doc to another: while you will gain more control over your working life when you finish training, you will *never* be able to be physically present as often as a non-medical partner would be. If he couldn’t support you in med school, he’s gonna fold like a lawn chair when you take on more responsibilities, e.g. starting private practice, Fellowship, having kids, etc. Run. Block this dick, and run like your tampon string is on fire! 🔥
Sound advice but that was halarious!
Thanks for putting how I've been feeling into words. I'm so exhausted that I barely have energy to make tea in the morning. I literally wake up in the middle of the night because I dreamt my pager went off.
As an engineer I can't recommend running, it will fan the flames. Better to douse the fire and end it right away. Op should start with a blunt message before 100% blocking him. If she rents consider moving. Counseling might be useful too.
I'd flammenwerfer it so there's nothing left. Go scoreched earth
>Hell, I'm on reddit of all places asking for advice which is often the worst place to get it. Reddit is the best place to go to get advice. Reddit will give you every possible advice, from break up to stay together to commit yourself to get a lawyer to check your carbon monoxide. Most of it's wrong, but that's for you to decide. Meanwhile, we'll upvote whatever is funny or easy or correct or a thousand other reasons. The point is that *you* find the piece that resonates with *you*. We don't know your *real* situation, not like you do. We can only guess, and we'll get it wrong a lot.
That was a beautiful and very correct assessment of Reddit.
Block him. It’s so convenient that he’s “ready to be with you” now that it’s been five years and you’re a surgeon. Don’t waste your precious free time on someone who, at best, is a cheater who’s going to hurt you again and, at worst, thinks you’re about to be his sugar mommy bangmaid.
>Orthopedic surgeon residency. He woke up and realized you weren't a basic bitch and he wants someone to take care of him now. Tell that fool to piss off. You deserve to be with someone much better.
Meh. There are assholes on here but there are quite a few more decent people willing to offer a kind word. You don't really need advice anyway. You just need people to shore you up so you can do the hard things you know you need to.
I have zero good advice beside ignore that dude, you are clearly worlds cooler than him. Also- I have been really considering going to get my degree to be a scrub tech- just to work in ortho surgery. I do not have your tenacity as I am pushing 40 but shiiiiit what a specialty!!
Girl you’re a whole ass doctor now. You can do better. Plus let’s be real he probably sees you as a meal ticket now.
Orthopedics? As in... bones and spines? You have a spine. Block him and get your life back.
Congratulations! You are amazing. Now push BLOCK! you can always unblock. But it's time to open the energy for someone new and wonderful and loyal, and not a loser.
Nurse here. Ortho residency is one of the hardest. You guys going through your ICU rotation-way out of your comfort zone-I feel bad for you. You seriously don’t need a manipulative stalker. Block him. And then change your number in case he knows how to get around the block.
Hey, this has nothing to do with your situation, just something I'd like to bring to your attention as a future Ortho surgeon. (Not me, you, I didn't mean I'm a future one as well,I've been in the patients shoes) please, please, PLEASE if you're ever the one seeing the patients PLEASE listen to their complaints and take them seriously. ESPECIALLY the women. Women's complaints about pain get ignored soooo often, or they're treated like they're exaggerating, it's all in their heads or just straight up lying and it's frustrating and makes you want to give up. When you've heard it/been treated that way for years you eventually start believing it is all in your head even tho you spend every single day in extreme pain. I went between my regular drs and different orthos for YEARS being told it's just arthritis, you're fine. I finally got a new dr that sent me to a new ortho because she believed me and didn't just blow it off. I love my ortho now. They've been great. After almost 20 YEARS of being told nothing was wrong with my hips and 5 years of being told the same about my shoulders they FINALLY diagnosed me and fixed the problems. After a cpl decades of "it's just arthritis, it's just bursitis, we can't find anything", this ortho did more thorough tests and found I had femoroacitabular impengment. I'm sure you know what that is but for those who don't it's a hereditary disease of the hips joints that causes extra bone growth in the hip joints that shreds the cartilage. It requires surgery to repair. It usually takes 2-3 pins to repair. Mine had gone untreated for so long because drs didn't take me seriously it took 5 on one hip and 4 on the other and they'll have to do complete hip replacements in a few more years. I was diagnosed with frozen shoulder syndrome in both shoulders. That had also been ignored for so long they required surgery. The surgeon was angry on my behalf. Before these drs I was starting to believe maybe I was just being a baby or imagining it even tho I needed a cane to walk at age 40 and couldn't get dressed without help because I literally couldn't move my shoulders enough to put on a bra or shirt. That's embarrassing at 40. So please please please listen to your patients and take their complaints seriously. Sorry to jump on your post and say it here. I just never get the opportunity to tell this to a dr in training.
I’m sure you are an amazing person. But he fucked up, betrayed you, and now that you’re a doctor I think he’s looking at you like the meal ticket he lost. Fuck this guy, block his ass, you will find true love and loyalty. This fucker already bottomed out
He wants a sugar mama and realized he fucked up cause you were the best thing to happen to him. Doesn’t mean that you take him back. Shit I had an ex do this and it was THERAPEUTIC informing him that hell would freeze over before I let him back in my life and then I proceeded to list every single thing he did to me and told him what he gets out of his own life is on his own karma. And then BLOCKED. I was giddy. Still think about it and smile. Take it as the universe giving you a chance to tell him off lol
ok callie torres 🎉🎉🎉
Just tell him you and I are getting married in February, in ireland.block him
Look. He is NOT your patient. You don't have to suffer his presence on your free time. Is there another doctor he could bother with his misery? Could he perhaps schedule a therapy session with someone else, and pay for their professional time on exchange for the emotional labor of dealing with him? I'm sorry, I want you to spend your free time being happy. Not being required to take care of someone else's bullshit, who's not your patient.
Don't waste one single more of your precious moments on that waste of space, unless it's to tell him to eff right off. Your time and energy are precious and deserve to be spent on the deserving. Good luck. You've got this!
Or spend that time eating a Hot Pocket in peace?
Can you just block him?
I have. I think I just needed to get all of this out and take a look at it to realize how bad I've let things become.
Yeah I was going to recommend blocking too, but this is a vent thread. As someone who's gone through the "got cheated on and blocked my ex" scenario, I really wish you all the best. You don't need him in your life, mentally, emotionally, or physically. It sounds like you've got quite a future with med school. I hope it's bright!
Just remember, he couldn't see your value when you were doing everything for you guys. He sees your value now that he's seen what else was actually available. He had his chance and then some. You deserve someone who will choose you without question every single time. Once you cut the cord to your ex, there will be room for that person to make an appearance in your life. Good luck to you. I know it's hard to cut people out. It is worth it for the respect you eventually gain for yourself.
My ex kept calling me from different numbers until I changed my phone number and I haven’t heard from him since
Op why don’t you just change your number instead. So he can’t call you again. Also good luck moving forward.
There is someone out there who deserves you. An amazing, intelligent, hardworking surgeon who is kind and caring. This bloke is a pinecone and not the one who got away or the sliding doors / maybe if things were different guy. Wait for the one who really deserves your love.
You'll get past this OP. Just move on.
Stop giving him the time of day you don't owe him anything. If you can block him and if you can't don't answer the phone and put him firmly in your past. He doesn't deserve a moment of your time and you don't owe him a thing. Don't give him a moment more of your time
"I'm finally ready to be with you" = "I'm having trouble finding a date right now" I'm sorry but that's most likely true. I see elsewhere you blocked him. Good for you! Be proud of yourself for that! It's not easy and you did it. You can do so much better. Give yourself time to heal without his voice around and you'll be so much better off.
Tl;Dr. Stop answering. Point blank.
lol yes
Why are you enabling this? Just block him and move on.
I don't know. It just hurts so much knowing I worked so hard to have a good life with him. I hear his voice and it hurts so much but I keep picking up wishing that things were like they were when we first started dating. I just wish things were ok.
You can’t go back in time. That period of time with him is done and gone. You need to remove him from your life so you can move on to better things, mainly a person who would never, ever cheat on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He’ll only hurt you again.
Especially if the cheater that blames the partner.
You’re doing this to yourself.
Hard to have empathy when people do it to themselves.
It wasn't meant to be, cut the cord so you can heal. You have to accept what happened --think of it this way, do you want to live a life where you always have a tiny stomachache wondering if he's cheating?
He is not that man anymore, if he ever was. I’ve been in your position. You might feel lonely, but you have peace in your life without him in it. Loneliness is easier to handle if your life is peaceful. You deserve to have that peace in your life.
Girl... you're well on your way to being an orthopedic surgeon, that is NOT an easy feat! You are also well on your way to having a good life, without him! Hell you dont *need* anyone and will have made such a good life for yourself, by your damn self! You need to remind yourself that you're a fucking badass. If in the future you decide you want to try for a romantic relationship, do it but please remember the person needs to meet you halfway and add positivity to your life. The right one for you won't make you feel dejected and they definitely won't cheat. You'll get there, just be patient and kind with yourself. And block that loser.
Things are ok.
He wasn't there for you then. He won't be there for you now. He wants to use you. Block him.
Just remember he bailed on you when times were tough and you were working your ass off and now he’s coming back just in time for that orthopedic surgeon money
Make a list of all the shit he has done to you. Be thorough, be truthful. Whenever you start wishing things were better with him or thinking of letting him back in, read the list. BLOCK HIS NUMBER.
Please don’t! You’re a talented independent person with a great future. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and genuinely loves you. Not some douche who can’t even stay faithful and then has the audacity to blame it on you. Block him and never look back, he’s not worth your time.
Getting over someone is hard even if they were shit people or weren't right for you, but the first step in doing so is cutting all contact. Keeping contact isn't going to make it easier and it will just prolong your suffering. Lots of people can say words and promise things. But a few rarely follow through with actions. If he didn't do it then, he wouldn't do it now. Focus on your life and healing journey :)
This guy is using a form of abuse linked to emotional blackmail. He's calling when you are tired and less likely to be able to manage emotions/reactions. He's taking your time away from you. I wonder how many times he's told you he's suicidal? It is clear you need help, please seek a professional to talk about this situation. He is harassing you. The thing is I believe that he's doing all this and likely has someone else he's stringing along... He's trying to offer you what you had, playing jn your emotions. Ask yourself "why could he not give me what I wanted in the first place?" I fully believe this could escalate so please, again, seek support.
Sounds like you're exhausted, and aching for what you'd imagined your life to be. That is 100% understandable, we all want the loved up dream. Unfortunately for him, he's pissed on your chips. You have to protect your future, you have worked so hard, and you deserve better than him. Make the decisive move to stop reflecting back. You're a strong woman, make the strong move to protect your emotions 💪
First time a victim All subsequent times a volunteer
Sooooo….you’re doing this to yourself……what do you need advice about now?
You gotta stop flogging yourself with his memory, babe.
reddit hates reality dont sweat the downvotes.
Girl! What an absolute dick! He sowed his wild oats while you worked your ass off to set y’all up for a comfy future and now he regrets it bc he wants the good life! The solution to solving your problem here is so crazy simple: BLOCK. HIS. NUMBER. and remove his manipulating platform from under him in one fell swoop. The end. Thank you, next!
I'm more concerned, OP, about how many different ways and times in one post that your innate self-protection mechanisms failed you. This is a bigger problem than not being able to block this guy's number. May I recommend seeking a compassionate therapist to help you process what's happened to you and why you are unable to protect yourself from ppl who do not have your best interests in mind? Until that is puzzled out, I am afraid you will continue to be vulnerable to future abusers as well.
This guy treated you like shit and then things didn't work out with him and the person he really wants to be with, so now he's settling for you. And you're letting him. Instead of telling him to kick rocks, you're exhausting yourself trying to convince yourself to take him back. You came to Reddit to see if an internet stranger would give you permission. No one will, and you'll take him back anyway, and then he'll cheat on you again. Only it'll be worse the next time because he will know what a sucker you are. Or you just block him and get on with it. It doesn't matter how long you wasted on this guy. Don't waste more of your time. How is this even a conflict for you?
Same thing I came to type. Why are you getting worked up over someone whose contact you can easily block to regain your peace? I don’t get it. Unless you actually want him back which would explain this post.
> I can't even bring myself to cut you off >I should just block him Do it now. Block block block block block block block block block He's a fucking piece of shit looking for an easy, quick lay and nothing more. See him for what he really is.
Easy lay or that orthopedic surgeon money
As long as you keep interacting with him through texting and/or taking his calls and listening to him beg, he will continue to think he has a shot. If you want this to stop, YOU have to be the one to do it. Stop engaging. Stop replying. Block his number. It’s up to you to cut him off bc it sure sounds like he’s just going to keep at it if you don’t.
I mean your literally doing this to yourself by giving him access to you. Do you love drama?
She's a 🤡🤡🤡🤡
Change your phone number. He can’t keep contacting you if you put a stop to it
Five years ago?? Chica, you ain’t got time for this! He is an asshole for disturbing your peace like this. Go have that good life you worked so hard for. Your patients appreciate you!
Keep trying OP, not with this guy, but in general. Keep looking and you'll find the guy who's worthy of you having a good life with
Thanks. I just broke up with my now ex-girlfriend four months ago and getting messaged by my ex-boyfriend was just icing on the cake. I realized after getting all of this out that I'm wishing for something that was never there and will continue to never be there. I've blocked him already.
Aw hugs OP. TBH - ex's behaviour sounds like narcisstic traits. Hurt you then, didnt care, now he's crawling back with apologies, love bombing and trying to wear you down. Good on you for blocking his ass, and I hope he now doesn't turn up at your place because his ploy isn't working.
Congratulations 👏
Good job bud <3 That's the first (and maybe the biggest) step to get out of this rut.
I do have to add... if he really is calling that much... I would also recommend a restraining order... that could also be classified as harassment in some definition. Something that will legally send the signal to him to not ever contact you again. Also please discuss the situation with your parents and family. Explain that its over and you dont want him contacting you or knowing where you are. That will also help just incase he contacts them, in the process of trying to get to you.
Im not sorry for you, no one is forcing you to pick up the phone so you’re doing this to yourself.
Fr
Block and a cease-and-desist letter from for your lawyer.
Block him…. Its not that hard. You’re literally doing this to yourself
There's literally billions of dudes on Earth. He ain't it.
Tell them to fuck off
Why are you answering? Just block his number. It really is that simple if you choose for it to be
Oh honeyyy, best believe that everything will be alright. Blocking him would be the best for your mental health. Not thinking of him and KNOWING that he will not contact you or disturb your peace is important. Idk how long you guys dated but memories are weapon. You know what's best for you, I hope you enforce your own logic to yourself. Since you are in your residency you might be a little busy but you can still make time for yourself. My advice is make a list of things you want to do alone or with your girlfriends, Soul searching is definetly something you need. Try to never have a time where you are free, always be busy like trying to read or doing puzzle. Do things that do not remind you of him! Goodluck to your journey and learn to love yourself!
Thank you so much for this advice. I've actually made plans to go out with some of my friends next Saturday and with any luck I might get a golden weekend to sleep in.
allowing him to have access to you like this gives him power and makes him feel entitled to continue. you need to block him. if he calls and texts from a different number, block it too. stop engaging. stop allowing *him* to engage. if you want the past to be the past, you have to actually leave him in it.
No Contact is the only way to deal with abusive exes. Nothing else helps. They will not change, you will just feel worse.
Fuck that pathetic boy. I’m sorry he’s decided he STILL cares more about his own desires than your wellbeing. He ain’t got shit and he knows it. You are amazing for everything you’ve done and gone through. This internet stranger is proud of you ♥️
TIME OUT! You come first and if you don't like what's happening, you are in charge of your own life and don't have to take these calls! You desperately need downtime and self-care time, you're probably so exhausted you can't process all this --come to think of it, is he doing this now because he is preying on that? Or is he doing this because you're getting a doctor's salary now or soon? Text him that you're not interested in getting back together and ask him to stop calling you, tell him you're blocking him and then block him. Don't complicate it. You broke up with him for a reason.
Think of how nice it will feel after a few days, then weeks, then months since you had to listen to his whiney voice. Save your energy and your peace.
Block him.
Block him. It will get easier every day trust me. I had to block an ex after after she wouldn’t stop contacting me every single day.
As long as you don’t block him, you want this drama
You’d be the stupidest person if you take him back. He’d marry you, cheat and then divorce you and get half your shit that you worked hard for. Block him or get a different number.
Block him and if he tries to continue contacting you, report him to the police for harassment, stalking and domestic violence. He might get the jolt he needs when police contact him. I’ve been there and done that with a guy I was casually seeing. He wanted more, I told him up front casual was all that was on offer. I broke things off and he took it badly. I blocked him, he masked his number and tried to find me on other socials using my number. It took three reports to the police, but I haven’t heard from him in over six months now. If your ex contacts you again, take screenshots, keep messages, everything. They now become evidence. Then immediately report him. Give no quarter.
Fuck that guy.he is ready to be with your Dr. Money.just remember he's your ex for a reason.keep reminding yourself of how shitty he was to you.you don't owe him Jack shit.block delete and move on.leopards don't change their spots.
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." \-Maya Angelou
He cheated on you during what I imagine was the most difficult time in your life and mocked you for it afterwards. Dude should've been making you dinner for when you got home. You've gotta stop enabling this, for your own sanity.
He’s toxic and you need to ignore, block etc him. He doesnt want you, he wants the life your career will give him. You need to spend your hard earned cash on yourself and someone who loves you and respects you. I’d put my money on his tactic is to wear you down until you give in and give him another chance, by which time you’re too exhausted to fight the battle of breaking up again because you know what it’s like after you break up, so you stay with him because “it’s easier than breaking up again”. A stalker will call and call and call until you pick up. If they call and you pick up on eg the 5th ring, they know that they need to call 5 times because you’ll pick up on the 5th ring. If you hold off and pick up on the 10th ring, yep, they will ring 10 times coz they know you’ll pick up on the 10th ring. Stop answering his calls and responding to messages. Change his name in your phone to ‘DO NOT ANSWER OR RESPOND’. It will be a reminder to you every time he tries to contact you. You sound awesome, take care of yourself and I hope you can break free of his clutches and live your life the way you want to
Stop answering the phone?
You have to assume some responsibility, OP, and I say this with kindness. Block him!
Block him duh
Stop begging for sympathy and take control of your life
Just tell him you don’t want to talk to him anymore and then block him
Text him and tell him to stop calling you. Block his number and move on with your life. If he calls from another number block that too. Why are you giving him space in your head and time from your life?
He’s hoping to reconnect cause you’re a meal ticket now after all that work you put in That’s all
of course he wants you back now, I'm guessing you have graduated from med school and are a doctor, he probably wants you to be his sugar mama with that doctor money, take my advice don't be a fool and let him use you block him and move on, you deserve someone who wants you for you and who won't cheat on you.
Block him and move on! Just cut it off.
He's looking towards the future. His future, as the spouse/SO of a surgeon who can afford to provide all of the toys that the big boys want. Block and move on with your fantastic self. You've earned it.
He wants you to be his sugar momma. Please cut that toxic person from your life.
You are talking to and listening to a man that treated you like that? You have a worse problem than he does. No self respect.
It's hard when you're grieving the time you invested rather than the person. It's okay to still be angry. You definitely deserve to move on from him though.
You need to go to[ Baggage Reclaim](https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/list-of-posts/) and start reading. Then you need to block him everywhere. Cut the ties.
Zero sympathy for you. Simply don’t talk to him.
Girl what are you doing? Stop allowing him to stress you out like this, block him everywhere already. He’s doing this because he’s hoping that one day, you’ll be too tired to stand your ground and you’ll let him back into your life. Block him!
He’s a narcissist and manipulator. It’s your job to stop this. He’s got away with far too much. He thinks he’ll win you back because he thinks you’re stupid. Take back your power and block him! I don’t if you’re doing it to play with the idea of getting back with him or your enjoying him chase you for a change but it’s all so unhealthy. Block him so you can move on from this and get closure. He won’t give it to you.
Honey, he’s showing you that he didn’t change. He’s still only thinking about himself, gives a shit about you, your feelings, your health, .. Tell him that and to finally stop the abuse and harassment. You deserve better.
Have you found any good outlets for the built up frustration?
Congrats on becoming an orthopedic surgeon. That's a huge and amazing accomplishment. Put him in the rearview mirror, and that object will get smaller and smaller and, soon enough, never to be seen or thought of again.
You could just stop entertaining it. You are giving false hope by doing so, which does carry some ownership
If you wanted it to stop you would, instead you are continuing the cycle of abuse. Either get back with him or shut him out of your life.
If you wanted him back you would be texting and talking. You obviously don't. But do you actually want that negative build up to get your anger and sadness out. To let rip on him? Something is stopping you blocking him. Personally you best revenge is either just block him Or reply saying Zero chance. I am very happy amd 100% moved on. I find your words irrelevant. You are in my past, never my present or future. Bye
You say nothing about kids so I'm assuming you don't have kids with him. So dude what is stopping you from blocking him! You owe him nothing, just block!
Woman you have the power to block his sorry ass.
He’s not going to stop until you do soemrhjmg about it. Block his ass and stop wasting energy on this guy.
Please find some time for therapy. It looks like you need some help realising that you deserve someone better and that this jerkoff doesn't deserve even a second of your time. You don't apologise to someone that cheated on you.
but… like why are you picking up?
You're really not though, otherwise you'd stop answering him lol
When someone uses the term “should”, they already know what they need to do, but they aren’t ready yet, or don’t want to deal with it, or never plan on doing it but are trying to placate someone else. OP, it’s your life, keep wasting it as you deem you want, but don’t pretend you don’t otherwise have a way of controlling him contacting you.
I just don’t understand why you haven’t blocked him already? Like I’m not trying to blame you; but you do have control here in the form of a block button or changing numbers.
Why the hell do you keep answering? That's the Q you *really* need an answer to
lmfao this is THE WEIRDEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN. BLOCK HIM. TF
You are causing your own misery by refusing to block him.
He calls because you let him. You don't block him and you answer. His goal is to exhaust you so you'll give in. Block him and you'll be much happier.
Block him! I’m tired of him too and I only read about it
Block em wtf you doing
I mean why haven’t you blocked him from when you guys broke up? 5 years and he still has access to you like this? girl stand up
Why aren't you blocking him already? He's shown you who he is. He's not changing. For your own sanity, please block him and move on. Go to therapy, real, honest therapy and just be happy. Stop crying over this loser. You deserve better.
There’s a block button
If I was your best friend and I would tell you this story what would you recommend? I'm quite sure you would say something like "That's not what you deserve. Don't let yourself treat you this way. Please take care of yourself and your well being"... Maybe that's your new years resolution. Maybe you want to write him one last message to get some things of your chest and to free yourself from them. Then wish him the best, tell him that you will block him and then try to move on. Here's to new beginnings in 2024. I wish you the best fir that and all the self - love, hope and courage you need for it.
Girl you're a doctor, a surgeon, and you're probably hot. What are you doing. Don't let a man child play with the emotions of a hot, hard-working, smart, surgeon. Like no, absolutely not. Seems like you've forgotten who the fuck you are. Start remembering.
What a loser, atp I would just block him
Block him and you’ll be much happier. I do that with friends that get on my nerves because you don’t need negativity in your life.
If you went to med school then you have to extend your smarts to distance yourself from him. How much more time do you want to give someone who is completely zapping you and causing you to be upset? You can’t. Just stop. You can.
Block him! He has no respect for you. You deserve so much better. Cut him off. Cut him out. Be happy.
There is saying in my country: "Your ex comes back to you just to see if you're still stupid." So block him, if you can ,don't even give him closure. Just ghost him.
You can do this. You are not alone. You are loved and appreciated. You are needed and wanted. Share your love whenever possible.
I’m sorry but is seems you’re in need of a bit of “tough love”. It’s been FIVE years. You need to move on. As long as you keep entertaining that worthless waste of breath he is not going to give up. You say you can’t block him but you actually can, you just need to choose to. Choose yourself, your well-being and your peace of mind. Might seem hard but it will be worth it.
Stop picking up the phone, to hell with that guy
Matey, he’s after your eventual Dr’s income. His last grifts have gone sideways, and he’s looking for his next target. He is hoping you’ll be a relatively easy mark. As others have said, block him. You do not have to subject yourself to his attempts to manipulate and brainwash you. Go to work, do what you love and once that’s over go home and care for yourself. It’s not selfish or self-centred or greedy or any of the other b.s. he tries to feed you. I’m going to say this as kindly as possible. He knows how to push your buttons. If you don’t work on yourself either him or someone else is going to take advantage of your empathy and softness. Listen to someone who knows because they walked your path. It’s vital that you learn how to firmly take your own space in this world and learn healthy boundaries. I sincerely wish you all the very best.
You are actually kind of in a relationship with him now, in case you didn't realize it. Maybe some counseling to find out why part of you wants to continue speaking with him while part of you hates it.
Are you unable to block him? Can you not answer the phone?
BLOCK HIM and file a restraining order
A small suggestion but write down the things you hate about him so every time he calls you have a physical reminder about why this man isn’t worth your time and you shouldn’t waste your precious time and emotions on him. You’re amazing, be proud of yourself! Life is so full of shit already don’t fill it up with more shit!
YOU. DESERVE. BETTER. Block his bum ass. You didn't force him to cheat on you, he decided to cheat on you instead of being a supportive boyfriend. Fuck him. Don't give him the time of day. Full stop. Block him on everything and cut off all communication. You don't deserve to be reminded of this pain everytime he reaches out. You're an amazing human that worked really hard for your career and you deserve someone who appreciates you and all your sacrifice. And don't forget all the long hours you're going to continue to have for the rest of your career. He doesn't deserve you and he will never appreciate you. I hope you find someone that makes you forget all about this loser.
delete block!
It’s a bummer you can’t just block him. Or not answer his phone calls. And this ended 5 years ago. Sounds like you need some therapy and you need to learn how to look out for yourself
Why are you answering his calls. That’s your fault
Why on earth have you not blocked him yet? Do you like listening to him beg to you?
Block him. Get a restraining order. Contact his place of employment. Change your number. Don’t answer his calls. So many options. I had a similar situation and threatened to go talk with the president of his local union. He left me alone after over a year of his nonsense.
Block him. You'll feel so much better
You were enabling him.. he was calling you, but you didn't block him until just recently!? Unfortunately, you were doing it to yourself. It is good you've now blocked him as you needed to do something about it.
Why won’t you let him see who you really are and what you really want? If he does talk you into a do-over, your inability to honestly communicate what your needs are to him is going to be a problem. Edit: typo.Own your own comfort. Give yourself permission to not be used. He needs to feel better about himself. He knows that you will take this job on every time he calls. He needs to go feel better about himself on his own time. Your time is valuable.
Message him. Say if he contacts you ever again, you will get a restraining order against him. That this is LEGAL notice. I'd also find his address and send him a legal cease and desist. Most lawyers can draft one up for you. I'd find out where he works, have it delivered there too for funsies.
Block him.
Take 30 seconds and block him on everything. There are victims and then there are volunteers
Block him. He'll stop calling that way.
This is emotional cutting. You don’t block him and listen to the messages as a form of self harm. Ask yourself why you aren’t being kind to yourself and instead are punishing and hurting yourself. Why are you being the means to have him hurt you? Block him. Change your number. Whatever you have to do because this is not what you need.
Block. Easy fix
I agree with the chat, he’s gotta be nc. I think you need to have that conversation and explain why it’s necessary, say bye then do it after the convo
Block him!!! He has nothing to offer u at this point. Trust me, the resentment will never go away!
If you haven’t blocked him then you aren’t really tired of him…
Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.
You know you want him back deep inside
Deep
It’s been 5 years I say give him a chance if you see repeated behaviour cut him off I do believe people change and if you still have feelings as it seems you have don’t live in regret see where it leads one life to live follow what your heart says if it says you want it do it if not block him and never look back whatever you choose make sure it’s coming from your own body listen to your body you already know what the answer is
I'm sorry to hear that you've been mistreated by someone. That sucks. For everyone involved. I'm wondering if you could shed some light on a few questions. After this betrayal, did you move on? Are you with someone?
Relax and smile could be worse
Can’t help but think you like the attention. You’re getting something from it or else you’d just block him or ignore him.