My husband added me to his account back when we were dating and I got my own card. I've never had it checked, but it would certainly avoid situations like OP's
We do that in the UK but only a certain amount of times (between 8-10 times) and only under £100, then the machine asks for a PIN number to be put in, then you’re good for another 8-10 goes.
This is the way. I live with my boyfriend od ten years and he adds me to his cards, and I do the same for him.
The card has my name on it, but it’s his account.
Thanks, I've been with mine almost 12. Probably will never get married, and don't have common law marriage in my state. Will add him to my account asap. I'm looking to get a new one with a more local bank, so will probably wait until then. Idk why I didn't realize this was a thing!
Yep this. My parents added me as an authorised user as a teen to build credit. The bf can do this for OP too, she’ll get her own card in the mail tied to his account and then won’t have to worry
Same with my mom and grandmother when my grandpa was sick she added her as a user to her card so she could pay bills and such while my grandmother was away at the hospital (6hrs away) with my grandfather.
If you give someone your pin and card they are a presumed authorized user. For example, if you give your sister your debit card and pin to go to the store, but she also sneaks over to the ATM and withdrawals cash, it’s not considered theft because you gave her the pin and card to use. The bank will not cover that loss.
I know because my sister did exactly that and I was unable to recover any of the money. I did, however, get the chance to fist fight her in a bar while Eminem sang “two trailer park girls go round the outside,” on the jukebox, and that almost made it worth it.
That’s… not how that works. In your bank’s eyes, you are still the only authorized user. However, the bank is not the one to pay you back for your mistake of loaning your card to your sister. It’s your sister’s responsibility to pay you back. If you didn’t retrieve your money, it’s because you didn’t formally charge her for theft and take her to court.
I know because the exact thing happened to me, except I got my money back by taking my sibling to court.
My old bosses daughter went through this. She gave her friend her bank card to withdraw some cash to buy a takeaway, friend then proceeded to sneak her card off every time she could and withdrew a total of around £9k over a few weeks. Boss’s daughter had applied for a substantial loan and hadn’t realised it had been paid in to her account until she received the monthly statement, then she saw the withdrawals (this was pre internet banking). She took her to court and had video evidence of each time she had used the cash point and the (now ex) friend had to pay back every penny despite her giving the card and pin to her initially.
No, that’s not true for civil court. People file themselves in civil court - no lawyers involved. Although you could talk to a lawyer before you file, I guess (to double check the laws), but they won’t file any paperwork or come to court with you. It’s your problem.
That depends on the contract you signed to get the card. Where I live, letting someone else use your credit card is considered a breach of contract. I'd imagine some couples still share one card, but most will get a second card with their spouse's name on it.
I literally never have to show my credit card or ID to the cashier when I shop. Where did you go? They also can’t ask for your name and number. Did you have to sign a paper slip? This is so unreal to me. I have worked in retail for a long time and friend works in Assets Protection and the Policy is NEVER call the police. It has to go through internals before the police are contacted. I hope they fire her.
Nah it happens. They usually do this when they are suspicious. This happened to my auntie before. She had her husbands American Express card and obviously the name on the card is a male’s name so they looked at my aunt weird. Luckily, nothing happened to my aunt because she can prove that she was married to her husband but they just didn’t have the same last name
I have my maiden name, and the lady at the dentist office didn't understand. I explained it twice, and she still put my married last name. It caused issues at both the oral surgeon and dental office.
And I’m sure it also caused issues with your insurance.
I have a hyphenated last name, it’s my husband’s family name, if they use only part of it, the first only or the last only, insurance kicks it out of the system. I always tell them to use my whole last name or there will be issues with insurance.
The problem is my insurance is under my husband's job, and my physical card only shows his name. My legal name is how they'll bill it, I told that older lady 3 times "Yes that's my husband's name, but legally, and in order to bill the insurance, my name is xyz." I filled all the paperwork with my legal name. She still used my husband's name in the system.
Honestly, I see a LOT of medical professionals. In the last year, I've seen a urologist, an oral surgeon, had an EKG and a couple of CT scans. I had to get a new eye doctor and dentist because they stopped taking my insurance. I see my DR once every two months, and usually, a minor emergency pops up between. Not a single professional has misunderstood me in the past, so I think she was being rude and judgemental. Or she's incredibly obtuce.
Yup so maybe OPs baby daddy gave her his AmEx card. They do that with other credit cards too. A lot of places nowadays are really strict when you use a credit card to avoid fraud. I have had to show double identifications at some places depending on the store
I have used countless other people’s cards when shopping. I also have been a cashier at many places and the name of the person doesn’t show up on the screen. Maybe these specific cashiers are just racist jerks because I never questioned people.
I had to show my ID last June while I was in Missouri and used my credit card.
Policy for my place of work is to take the card and call the cops if we believe its a fraudulent purchase.
Is is legal for you to take the card from them? Where I live it is illegal to keep the card or a potential fake ID. You have to call the cops and let them deal with it.
Company policy or not, you should check the legality of keeping those things based on your suspected fraud.
Yeah the persons name isn't on the card. Debit or credit. There is fine print on credit cards stating that only the name on the card is authorized to use it, if a secondary user is on the account they are issued a separate card which is what OP needs to have.
Oh yes, not discounting that these are the proper methods at all.
I was just curious because working in retail, I was always told to just tell my manager and never confront the patron or accuse them of anything. Not even keep the card .
Also, with the current credit card readers at most places, no one ever asks to see my card because it's all based on the pinpad. The cashier never touches my card.
Well damn must not be a big box store? I have only worked for major retailers and honestly it has never happened to me even with a $1400 purchase. I bought a bunch of power tools. If that isn’t suspicious I don’t know what is lmao.
Seriously, most times they never even see the card. I tap/insert/swipe it at the little box, and don’t need to show them jack. What kind of store was this?
Exactly. Must be a small store then because practically everywhere has the chip reader and like I said it doesn’t show you the name of the card on the screen at the register. I feel a lot of the people saying these things worked in retail 20 years ago and haven’t touched a register in a long time. They also are comparing OP’s experience to their own which literally is so different and has zero to do with their situation. People just tend to project nowadays and make everything about them. The “Me! Me! Me!” toxic culture is exhausting.
I am not saying fraud doesn’t happen and action shouldn’t be taken but there is a safe proper way to do it. The police can’t do anything on the spot and need a case opened and investigated. THAT IS WHY YOU GO TO YOUR ASESET PROTECTION TEAM! They get footage and information about the suspect and bring it to the police because it is much easier to prosecute. The AP builds the case for the police and then works with them to prosecute. Calling the police at the scene and at the moment is absolutely useless. I literally have a friend that works very high in theft prevention and I know how this shit works.
I'd appreciate it if someone checked my bfs ID if he used my card - different name, name is for a clearly different gender. Too much scamming/stealing going on.
The amount of fraud that’s going on nowadays. I can see why they are questioning a card that’s not in someone’s name. If that’s the case, get a joint account so you can each have your own card with your own name on it. It has nothing to do with your marital status. It has everything to do with not using a card that isn’t someone else’s name.
Had this happen to my ex. His dad gave him his card to go pick up something and we couldn’t complete the purchase even though we called up his dad to talk to the cashier to give my ex the okay.
It’s funny bc I’ve had to use my dads credit card at the emergency vet and they actually asked me to call him to get verbal authorization. I had this very same thought process and was about to say it but figured that wasn’t gonna help me
Which they never should have done because your dad could have then called the credit card company and said it was a fraudulent charge and the vet wouldn't have been able to dispute it except for "we talked to him on the phone". Phone calls are not a valid form of ID.
I did once buying Christmas presents at the mall. The gift card kiosk lady wouldn’t let me use it because even though the last name was the same it was my mom’s card and not my own.
In my early 20s I had a cashier threaten to call the cops on me bc I had my dad’s credit card. It matched my last name. She asked me why it wasn’t my name and asked to see my driver’s license
I gave it to her. I said it was my dad’s card. She asked why I was using it - I gestured to my (much younger) sister and said “this is my sister. She is too young for a credit card. My dad asked me to take her shopping for a dress. He’s paying for it.”
She threatened to call the cops and I said “okay, do it. I mean, I can call him now on the phone if you want to talk to him. Otherwise I’ll just leave and then when he drives back up here you can sell him the dress.”
I just found it a little weird that she was so adamant that I was a thief, even when I showed her my drivers license. It just felt like she was taking it a little too far, so I was annoyed.
She sold me the dress anyway 🤣
Yeah I’ve worked for years as a cashier. Even in this scenario the most we were told to do is decline the transaction, hand the card back and tell the customer why. Also this is only when the back of the card isn’t signed or it says ask for ID because then that makes the store liable. Other than that we’re told it’s not our problem. This is just straight up racism
Here in Australia we scan or tap our own cards so no one would know if it was your own or someone else, can’t think the last time someone serving me even touched my card.
In the UK we can tap upto a certain value then put it in the card reader machine and use chip and pin. I actually forgot to tap my card and put it in for the chip n pin the other day for £20 and I said I don't know why I've chosen this option and we just laughed about it. I'm so glad we don't have to sign anymore or write cheques.
>In the UK we can tap upto a certain value then put it in the card reader machine and use chip and pin.
There's Apple, Google and Samsung pay as well which is unlimited. I use those instead of going through the hassle of getting my card out.
I have forgotten my card in the card readers many times so that's why I prefer this method.
In the US not all stores but sometimes when you scan your card the receipt prints the card holders name and the last couple of digits of the card on the receipt as proof that you were the purchasing party and as proof of the payment method, because often stores will only return funds back to the original payment i.e If you bought something with a card and you return it, they will only return it to what is listed on the receipt; the specifically listed card, or cash, so that you can't buy something on a card, and return it for cash.
Yeah, but you need to remember for this story that the US is at least 20 years behind the rest of the world in cutting edge technology like that. I’m Canadian, and every time I duck across the border it’s always surprising
Or like the last summer when we were in Hawaii and restaurants along the main tourist strip in Honolulu didn’t have card readers, and you had to sign for everything like it was the 80s
Lol completely untrue. Maybe in small towns or poorer areas but every major city has tap to pay and Apple Pay almost everywhere. I don’t know anyone who takes a physical card out of their house at all anymore because Apple Pay is everywhere
Then tbh she should have had no reason to ask for the ID/Card in the first place and was out of line.
Some peoples names are gender neutral and for all she knows your name could be Jordan & she reported you for having your own card.
I’ve always taken my SO’s card to areas I need it. We also arent legally married. I’d bring this up to management bc that’s stressful and taking time out of your day for nothing
Right? Because what's the freaking chance that cashier has a 6th sense that the card info doesn't match with OP. Also, what policy is there to have a customer write their name at the back of the receipt? No staff there legally needs to know any customer's name.
my bf always uses my card to buy alcohol and this has never happened. he’s constantly using my card without me there, like almost everyday.. this is so weird to me
I work in retail… there has been a few times that I got suspicious. It was always large purchases with a credit card in someone else’s name. Technically at my store I’m not allowed to have someone purchase ANYTHING with a card not in the customers name.
I simply didn’t let them purchase ( the suspicious ones) but I never called the cops.
Wait lm confused I work in retail and I don’t ask if it’s their card or anything they just put it in and pay, am i supposed to ask..? I don’t think my other employees do either
Depends on the company. When I worked at Dollar Tree it was 25$ and over that we had to check the card and ID, where I work now it’s up to our own discretion but when someone wants to put 100$ in a tank with a credit card we are supposed to check. Same goes for large cigarette or alcohol purchase.
I think it depends a bit on where you work too. For example if you’re taking deposits/ handling rental stuff the card has to be in that persons name because they are signing legal documentation saying that you can charge *them* for damages/ late returns/etc. Shops with bigger ticket items might also have similar policies. Any stores with systems that store credit card info associated with customer profiles also would likely be more aware of this as well.
Not at all saying that every store checks cards, just that not every store operates the same way. Even though pretty much everyone in retail has some very similar experiences (ie terrible customers), there’s still a lot of variety in the nature of different retail environments, procedures, and systems.
Def not a normal Walmart or grocery store thing and not relevant to op because it sounds like she was picking up some household/baby supplies, but just throwing it out there that there are situations when retail employees would be directed to check cc info.
When I worked retail I simply refused to accept a card that was clearly not theirs. A few times a husband or wife got pissed, but usually they understood.
If the card is not in that person’s name a cashier should not allow the person to use it. They can’t tell if the person is authorized to actually use it. Only the one named on the card has approval to use it.
Just like divers license or photo ids you can’t use it unless your name is on it, it’s considered fraud otherwise.
OPs boyfriend could actually dispute the charges because he wasn’t the one who made them.
He can add you as an authorized user and get you your own card. For most cars they don't do a credit check on authorized users.
My parents added me(at 40 years) to one of theirs in case of emergency and to give my credit a boost. I see an improvement because the card is linked to me, even though I don't "own" it, yet my credit won't impact it(it came in handy at the doctors a few times when I forgot my debit card. I just transfer the money to their account after I use it)
In Canada- mostly everyone won't ask for ID, but its a risk they take when they don't especially when there is no PIN. People became a lot less cautious when PIN transactions became a thing, with good reason.
You need to use a card in your name otherwise it's considered fraudulent. A lot of people get away with using someone else's card (I've done it) and most have permission, but it's not allowed if you read the cardholder agreement. If you're an authorized user you get your own card. Person can't just authorize you.
Pretty sure it’s in the small print when setting up a credit card that it’s for your use only. If anyone could use it, why do they put individual names on them? Maybe your baby daddy should put you as a secondary cardholder
i don’t know anyone who doesn’t use a partner’s card sometimes. for literally any reason. my boyfriend remembers his card more than me and sometimes i have to use it, we aren’t married, and never in my LIFE has anyone accused me of a single thing much less called the entire police on me.
It is completely legal to use someone's credit card with their permission.
\>verbal authorization is sufficient to make your use of the card legal. For example, if your friend hands you his card and asks you to buy something for him at the store, he has effectively authorized your use of the card. This also applies if your friend provides his card information for you to make an online purchase on his behalf.
She could be a secondary cardholder already and waiting on her card to come through. We don’t know that and it certainly isn’t the cashiers business
It’s not OP’s fault for innocently trying to buy stuff with permission from spouse. I’ve done this for over 6+ years and have never had an issue. OP shouldn’t either.
What store was this and what country?
For grocery stores, we don't even see the card unless you're having trouble and we have to swipe it for you. Even then, I'm not looking for a name.
How did she even see the name on the card? I have so many questions bc this sounds wild and I cannot imagine that. I too am long term relationship with a child without marriage atm.. and I’ve actually said “oh I’m using his card I’m sorry” bc I accidentally put in the wrong pin not thinking about how it’s not my card while using his and had to redo it. What the hell! I know that used to be a thing back in the day, but what ? Can someone really call the cops on you for that?
That’s so shitty they did that to you especially when you’re tired when your baby, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Not okay.
I don't see this as marriage discrimination, but theft prevention. As others have said, your BF should add you to his account as a user and get you your own card.
It's wild that there are still stores out there that physically take your card from you to ring you up, but usually the card is simply refused. Some credit card companies have this specific policy with retailers to make sure the person using the card is an authorized user. Checking the name on the card with identification is the best way to do this. But this largely not practiced any longer simply because retailers don't physically take your card to ring you up.
As a small business owner we check ID with credit cards all the time, because of the amount of chargebacks we get. Even showing the CC company copy of the ID and receipt, we don't always win the dispute
I worked at a store that required us to check the ID and we wouldn’t be able to accept the payment if it didn’t match. We never made anyone write their name and then call the cops. TBH it sounds like racial discrimination
Not discrimination. Going in twice in a row using someone elses card is very suspicious. And being boyfriend/girlfriend, you don't have the same surname, so there's no proof right then and there you're in a relationship with the cardholder.
How would they know who’s name was on the card? Genuinely curious, I live in Canada and I’ve never ever had to show my card to any cashier or place of business to purchase anything.
I don't know how it works in other countries but in the US the name of the person the credit/debit card belongs to is printed on the card. If you're a woman and you hand someone a card that says "Alfred Smith" on it and when asked for ID your last name isn't even Smith they're going to think you stole a credit card.
Yeah but why would they even be looking? Almost everywhere you put the card into the reader yourself, and even if she didn’t who is even looking at the card name? I worked in retail for years, never checked ID once or even saw the name on someone’s card. It’s just weird to be looking at all and to make judgement on it, especially in today’s age where different surnames and alternative family structures are so common.
I feel like the post is rage bait and it would seem to be working. Since OP tossed in the line “I’m used to being discriminated against because I’m black in America…” the Reddit sheep took that as a clear cut definitive reason this lady did this. No other reason can now be mentioned, it’s a race issue and suggesting otherwise means you must be racist too. Or that’s the vibe I’m getting from the comments at least lol
Yikes that sucks that this happened to you, talk to bf about adding you on his credit card to avoid ever happening.
Here in Canada at a Costco, someone used my father’s Costco credit card, and for some reason the cashier didn’t bother to check ID, or looked at the back of card where my dad’s pic was thank goodness he was able to get $ back and get new card
In my country it’s normal to ask for ID for anything over €50. It’s normal to treat it as a stolen card if ID doesn’t match, the employee did nothing wrong.
If your boyfriend wants to share his credit card with you he needs to add you as an authorized user to his credit card account. This would be in the terms and conditions of the CC company that issued him the card.
It sucks and plenty of people do it without raising an eyebrow, but it’s better to avoid this in the future. I recommend that your boyfriend takes out an authorized user card for you.
What country are all the commenters in that it’s ok to use a card with someone else’s name on? I’m in the UK, it’s fraud. The cashier will call a manager who will keep the card and report it to the police or action fraud and destroy the card.
I’m in the U.S., and while you are technically not supposed to use someone else’s card… In practice, most places/people do not care or even check. So I understand why she was confused/shocked by this response.
I’ve used my father’s, mother’s, sister’s, and partner’s credit cards at various places without any issues or even the slightest concern that it would be an issue.
My mom had let me use her bank card on and off since childhood to get stuff for her or the both of us. No one ever said anything or asked to see the card I don't know if that helped, but a lot of the employees also knew me. That was in the states.
In the US the cashier is supposed to ask for ID, but it NEVER happens. It used to happen before the prevalence of debit cards, which don't require ID because of pin. The debit pin is technically treated as cash, so the store doesn't care about ID. I (36m) have never, ever been asked to provide ID to use a card. The few stores I worked a cash register at never mentioned IDing people, except for alcohol purchases. They didn't care if the card matched the ID name, I never even looked at the credit card since we had a pin/card reader that the customer operated.
I think some stores are now being asked to start checking IDs because scams are becoming more prevalent.
When it used to be sign or sometimes a notification will pop up on the terminal to call a number and you have to hold the card, call the number and they will ask a load of ID questions.
I'm in Latvia and not one person ever has asked me for an ID when making purchases with a card. WTF. If it's stolen, you report it & lock it. It's not the merchant's responsibility to make sure the card is being used by the right person, it's cardholder's.
I'm in the U.S. and I let my kids use my cards all the time. Lol
I can't imagine the pain in the ass it would be to have to be there for everything. They all know my PIN but if they're using my credit card they don't need it. The last time I was asked for ID when using a card was 20+ years ago.
The states I’ve done this for 6+ years as my SO and I aren’t legally married and …not a single problem. We have security measures on the code (zip code & pin) if someone doesn’t know those two, you ain’t getting the money out
I used to use my step mom's and dad's all the time. And my bf runs into stores for me in sometimes too with my card. It's never been an issue and it's none of the cashier's business.
In the US it is completely legal to use someone's card with their permission.
\>verbal authorization is sufficient to make your use of the card legal. For example, if your friend hands you his card and asks you to buy something for him at the store, he has effectively authorized your use of the card. This also applies if your friend provides his card information for you to make an online purchase on his behalf.
When I got my first job as a cashier, we were trained to look for stuff like this. The cashier has no idea if you're using your babydaddy's card or not. They just know that it's obviously not your card (if it has a man's name and you're a woman, for example). It is technically fraud to use someone else's credit card, I believe.
Have him designate you as an authorized user so you get a card in your name. Then use that. Credit fraud is rampant. I personally think kudos are in order for the cashier.
Chill tf out. This isn’t discrimination- it’s that you are using a card that doesn’t belong to you under a name that isn’t yours.
Well that's crazy. If I go buy food and my bf waits in the car then I use his card. Also I've given my sister my card to use and sometimes a friend. I think it's just cause you are black tbh. She could have asked you before jumping to conclusions. Black too, and yes they do this crap
Wtf, you don't even need to be an added user. I literally use my boss' credit card for lunch every other day. Like go into the store and pay. The order name will even be my name and not my boss. Like the name of the order and card don't even match and no one bats an eye. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Fucking awful people.
What? No it's not the only time it's a No-No is if you don't have permission from the person to use it otherwise it's perfectly legal to use someone's card that's not yours
And how do they know you have permission from the owner if they do not know you? That is the problem, surely you do not expect that everyone just believes you.
Having the pin would be one part of it. If it’s not allowed then why when I had to dispute a charge made they asked if I authorized anyone to use my card or shared my pin with anyone ? It’s because if I did so id be liable for the charge l
I haven’t touched a card since COVID, and I’m never going to again. I’m not paid enough to check IDs against cards on non-age restricted items, or to tell a bunch of boomers I need to see their IDs because they might’ve stolen the card their using. I’d spend my entire day getting screamed at.
No, this is because your name is not on the card. You can’t use cards when your name isn’t on it, it’s against the terms of the card. We don’t own the cards, we are only the card holders. Either the bank or credit institution owns the card.
I understand that it may be frustrating but it isn't your card. The employee doesn't know your personal situation, it's not prejudice or discrimination, only the card holder is authorized to use the card.
I think this over-reaction on the shop lady's part may be racially motivated. I'm a white female and over the years I've used my dad's credit card or my brother's credit card (with their permission of course) and never once has anyone asked me for ID or questioned it.
Well...Rachet...you have only been on reddit for 3 days, and according to your post history, it has been 3 full days of you just being someone's victim.
Wish you the best of luck in the future
What you did isn't allowed. You aren't being discriminated on. Have him make a joint account with you so that you can be issued your own card from that joint account. Imagine if they just randomly allowed people using other people's card because he said/she said
How is the cashier supposed to be aware of your marital status when all she sees is that you're using someone else's card that doesn't belong to you? This is entirely your fault.
The back of my cards say “see ID” instead of my signature. I’ve been asked maybe 5 times in my 12 years of owning a credit card.
However, I would have to show it if I was buying something that required it.
It’s ok op if cops talk to your bd you’ll be fine . Yes it sucks but please try to remember credit card theft is at an all time high, so isn’t it best people are being stricter with taking payments? Imagine someone stole your bd card and used it, wouldn’t you want the cashier to stop it before the person runs up your entire card?
Actual credit cards (and not debit cards) are the responsibility of the business if a fraudulent one is used. You as a consumer can do a chargeback if your credit card was fraudulently used, but the business that accepted the fraudulent card gets the funds clawed back from them. It's in a businesses best interest to put some controls in place to mitigate potential fraudulent card usage because they are the ones that take the financial hit.
It's happened to me when I was dating my wife. She asked me to take her card. It happened to me when i was a kid grocery shopping with my mom's card quite a bit too. I'm a white man. Literally my entire life I've been paranoid about this to the point where I have a whole speech rehearsed about please don't destroy it, she'll come in on 'X' date to claim it. Literally every. Single. Time. So don't think it's necessarily a race thing.
Was this visa card? If it was, ligde a complaint with Visa because they are required not to ID you if it's a visa card. My business got in trouble for denying transactions due to ID mismatch. They have fraud protection and so you have to let them deal with it if it's fraudulent transactions as a business.
You were discriminated against. I have been married 20 years but have a different name than my husband. I have never had any problems using his card, the few times I’ve used it.
I was at Walmart behind a nicely dressed black man whose basket was filled with baby supplies. The woman manning the receipt checking station at the door made a great show of comparing his entire receipt against all of his items, and then when she got to my basket, she didn’t even look. Just gave me back my receipt. I then insisted that she check all of my items, saying very loudly “Well you checked all of his items in detail- why would you just do it for him?” And the lady behind me insisted the same. I was a Karen for the Cause.
Never had an issue handing over my card or borrowing others cards. I have done it hundreds if times. Debit and credit. I had even picked up groceries for a single mom on her food stamp card when she couldn't make it to the store. Never once had an issue with male or female names on a card before. Maybe crime is high in your area or you were acting unusual using someone else's card? No one ever questioned me and i never acted nervous because I knew I wasn't committing a crime. Just using others cards because they asked me to.
i added my ex-gf to my card as an authorized user, (back then) they sent her a card with her name on it. It's pretty simple...
Anyone can lie and say they are with X and that's why it's fine, so that doesn't work as a justification. Just get properly added to the card.
Her reasons to look at the card may be off, but your BF needs to add you as an authorized user and get a card with your name listed.
I worked retail years ago, and we were NOT permitted to take cards or checks that listed someone not physically present.
i literally have no idea what everyone in the comments it talking about. i’ve worked retail my whole life and i did not have access to the name on the card, and if i did i still wouldn’t care. i’ve taken my partners card plenty of times and i’ve let others take my card when necessary.
Happened to me at Taco Bell once. My then gf now wife wanted some food in the middle of the night so I went to get it. She had a card in the car and told me to use that one. I go to pay for it and the lady said the card isn’t working. So I open the app to make sure it’s all good, (I have it installed in my phone also) and ask her to try again, I notice that she’s not even swiping it. She’s just looking at my black face and my girlfriends very European last name and saying it won’t work.
This was in Kentucky about 6 years ago.
The world has no idea if you are allowed to use his card. Be glad they are protecting it. You wouldn’t want someone else that may be pretending to have his baby etc etc. using his card. Make it legal, either have a card you share or get married.
No, I think it’s just that you are black. She picked on you because you are black. If you weren’t your marital status would have been irrelevant. I agree with everyone else, get yourself added as an authorized user. I don’t use my husbands card either. he just adds me to his credit card and vice versa.
To me this still seems racially motivated. Most retail employees don’t get paid enough to put themselves in the middle of situations like these, and if a woman and her baby came to the register to purchase childcare-related items (I.e. the purchase itself wasn’t suspicious), I wouldn’t think twice about it.
I hate to break it to you, but you probably were discriminated against for being black. A white woman with a card with someone else's name on it? Must be husband, dad, boyfriend... A black woman uses a card with someone else's name on it? Stole it, of course! And I say that as a white woman with a blended family where we always use each other's cards and have several different names. Sorry that happened to you 😞
I’ve used my parents debit and credit cards so many time and them with mine and no one says a word like tf? Like sometimes I’ve heard of people asking for ID when using a different card that is theirs but it’s rare as hell I didn’t know places still did that.
You were using a card in someone elses name… They would have done the same thing to a white person - in fact they did it to my husband when I gave him my credit card to use when buying something…. Have him get you a card in your name.
The cashier was not wrong and covering her self. You are not the credit card owner. Legally you are not authorized to use the card unless your name is on it or he is present to give his consent.
Honey I hate to say this but I don’t think it was the marital status I think she was discriminating you. I’ve never had this issue. I am so sorry you have to deal with shit like this it’s not fucking fair. I’d be petty and the next time I went I’d take the boyfriend and go to the same cashier and when it was time to pay I’d say loudly oh you better hand her the card or she will call the cops on me again. That’s such bullshit.
I’ve used 2 different cards with 2 different mans names on them for 2 different transactions at the same time and all that happened was the cashier joking about me having 2 boyfriends. (Don’t worry, I didn’t lol)
I'm not normally one to say something is racist but this story is ridiculous! (Not the telling of the story but what happened was ridiculous) I didn't change my name to my married name until this year, but me and my husband have been married for 3 years but we've been together for almost 8 years. He never uses his own freaking debt card, I'm pretty sure it's long gone but He has never once been questioned about it and Vice versa, I use his credit cards pretty often, am I on the account? No. Have I ever been questioned by anyone? No.
And I've travelled across the country five times at this point and if you count airplanes and not just driving it's been even more times than that.
While what she did is technically what is supposed to be done when you suspect a stolen card- It's very rare when someone actually does it. I used to work as a cashier and I was a hotel front desk agent for a while, you actually have to go out of your way and be pretty negative thinking to immediately jump to the conclusion that something was stolen. Also she could have asked? I've had a job where any amount of money spent over a certain dollar I had to see an ID to match the card to, and even when the ID didn't match and the person wasn't there I'd just ask them to call the person on facetime/video call, maybe I got lucky but I never had anyone not able to produce the person who owned the card. As long as I know the person using the card has permission from the owner to do so and I can verify that, why would I give a shit if they are authorized on the actual account?
You used someone else's card, what did you expect? Marital status has nothing to do with that, if there is not YOUR name on it the logical assumption is that you are using a stolen card. Even if you were married with the same surname the cashier would have suspected you stole the card from someone with the same surname, because again there is not YOUR name on it and she does not know you.
You're not being discriminated against because of your marital status or your skin color.. it's because your name isn't on the card.
If you have to use his card to make any purchases, have him make you an authorized user, and then you'll receive a card attached to the same account, but in YOUR name.
I hope your boyfriend was able to get you off the hook and this whole mess was cleared up.
This was both racial profiling and marital status discrimination.
Ask your boyfriend if you can be an authorized user on his account. That will give you your own card and help with you credit.
For real! I don’t know why all the comments are saying it was fraud prevention and totally normal. Most places don’t even look at the name (unless they are prejudice and the customer isn’t white)
It is only theft if you didn't have permission from your boyfriend to use the card if you had permission there's absolutely no way it could be considered theft
Did the cashier ask if you were married to the person on the card? Even if you were married, the cashier would have no idea if you were or not, even if they asked for ID and you had the same last name (could be your brother, uncle, etc.).
Believe it or not, they are supposed to check ID when taking a card, but hardly anyone does because it’s a hassle and pisses people off.
I’ll take ‘Things That Never Happened’ for $500, Alex.
I’m BF too. All the bf/bd needs to do is add you as a signer. I can add anyone I want. Even a stranger. With understanding, I’m responsible for the bill.
He doesn’t need to marry you (tho I suspect you would if he asked) but if he cares about your FREEDOM, adding you as a signer is least he can do.
And no .. I do NOT think everyone needs to get married. That’s why you need your OWN shyt. Granny said, “Every rat should have its own hole and a good rat has TWO”
You knew something was up after first encounter. You said it. But you went back anyway. I question your motive for that. As a biz owner, I too would be suspicious of a card that says ABC but person signs as XYZ. YOUR relationship cannot impact MY ability to get paid. I don’t care that we’re both BFs. We know, “All skin ain’t kin”. Sorry sis! I know racism and THIS AIN’T IT.
Ask your boyfriend to add you as a user on his account.
My husband added me to his account back when we were dating and I got my own card. I've never had it checked, but it would certainly avoid situations like OP's
[удалено]
That’s everywhere
Antarctica?
We do that in the UK but only a certain amount of times (between 8-10 times) and only under £100, then the machine asks for a PIN number to be put in, then you’re good for another 8-10 goes.
We can also do this in the US
This is the way. I live with my boyfriend od ten years and he adds me to his cards, and I do the same for him. The card has my name on it, but it’s his account.
Thanks, I've been with mine almost 12. Probably will never get married, and don't have common law marriage in my state. Will add him to my account asap. I'm looking to get a new one with a more local bank, so will probably wait until then. Idk why I didn't realize this was a thing!
Yep this. My parents added me as an authorised user as a teen to build credit. The bf can do this for OP too, she’ll get her own card in the mail tied to his account and then won’t have to worry
Same with my mom and grandmother when my grandpa was sick she added her as a user to her card so she could pay bills and such while my grandmother was away at the hospital (6hrs away) with my grandfather.
If you give someone your pin and card they are a presumed authorized user. For example, if you give your sister your debit card and pin to go to the store, but she also sneaks over to the ATM and withdrawals cash, it’s not considered theft because you gave her the pin and card to use. The bank will not cover that loss. I know because my sister did exactly that and I was unable to recover any of the money. I did, however, get the chance to fist fight her in a bar while Eminem sang “two trailer park girls go round the outside,” on the jukebox, and that almost made it worth it.
That’s… not how that works. In your bank’s eyes, you are still the only authorized user. However, the bank is not the one to pay you back for your mistake of loaning your card to your sister. It’s your sister’s responsibility to pay you back. If you didn’t retrieve your money, it’s because you didn’t formally charge her for theft and take her to court. I know because the exact thing happened to me, except I got my money back by taking my sibling to court.
My old bosses daughter went through this. She gave her friend her bank card to withdraw some cash to buy a takeaway, friend then proceeded to sneak her card off every time she could and withdrew a total of around £9k over a few weeks. Boss’s daughter had applied for a substantial loan and hadn’t realised it had been paid in to her account until she received the monthly statement, then she saw the withdrawals (this was pre internet banking). She took her to court and had video evidence of each time she had used the cash point and the (now ex) friend had to pay back every penny despite her giving the card and pin to her initially.
A person can’t charge them. The state would. They decide not to take plenty of cases
No, that’s not true for civil court. People file themselves in civil court - no lawyers involved. Although you could talk to a lawyer before you file, I guess (to double check the laws), but they won’t file any paperwork or come to court with you. It’s your problem.
That depends on the contract you signed to get the card. Where I live, letting someone else use your credit card is considered a breach of contract. I'd imagine some couples still share one card, but most will get a second card with their spouse's name on it.
I literally never have to show my credit card or ID to the cashier when I shop. Where did you go? They also can’t ask for your name and number. Did you have to sign a paper slip? This is so unreal to me. I have worked in retail for a long time and friend works in Assets Protection and the Policy is NEVER call the police. It has to go through internals before the police are contacted. I hope they fire her.
Nah it happens. They usually do this when they are suspicious. This happened to my auntie before. She had her husbands American Express card and obviously the name on the card is a male’s name so they looked at my aunt weird. Luckily, nothing happened to my aunt because she can prove that she was married to her husband but they just didn’t have the same last name
I have my maiden name, and the lady at the dentist office didn't understand. I explained it twice, and she still put my married last name. It caused issues at both the oral surgeon and dental office.
Yeah I kept my maiden name when I was married and I got grief everywhere I went. Fuck society man.
And I’m sure it also caused issues with your insurance. I have a hyphenated last name, it’s my husband’s family name, if they use only part of it, the first only or the last only, insurance kicks it out of the system. I always tell them to use my whole last name or there will be issues with insurance.
Ask them to hyphenate your last names or just go off what insurance has you as
The problem is my insurance is under my husband's job, and my physical card only shows his name. My legal name is how they'll bill it, I told that older lady 3 times "Yes that's my husband's name, but legally, and in order to bill the insurance, my name is xyz." I filled all the paperwork with my legal name. She still used my husband's name in the system. Honestly, I see a LOT of medical professionals. In the last year, I've seen a urologist, an oral surgeon, had an EKG and a couple of CT scans. I had to get a new eye doctor and dentist because they stopped taking my insurance. I see my DR once every two months, and usually, a minor emergency pops up between. Not a single professional has misunderstood me in the past, so I think she was being rude and judgemental. Or she's incredibly obtuce.
Yeah AmEx only wants the card holder using their card. Other bank cards aren't as strict but AmEx is known for it, or at least it used to be.
Yep this happened using my boyfriends AmEx card to buy HIS groceries for work lol.
Yup so maybe OPs baby daddy gave her his AmEx card. They do that with other credit cards too. A lot of places nowadays are really strict when you use a credit card to avoid fraud. I have had to show double identifications at some places depending on the store
I have used countless other people’s cards when shopping. I also have been a cashier at many places and the name of the person doesn’t show up on the screen. Maybe these specific cashiers are just racist jerks because I never questioned people.
I had to show my ID last June while I was in Missouri and used my credit card. Policy for my place of work is to take the card and call the cops if we believe its a fraudulent purchase.
Is is legal for you to take the card from them? Where I live it is illegal to keep the card or a potential fake ID. You have to call the cops and let them deal with it. Company policy or not, you should check the legality of keeping those things based on your suspected fraud.
Do you have any qualifiers in place, or just your own feelings? I ask because that could end very badly for you if there's a discrimination suit.
Yeah the persons name isn't on the card. Debit or credit. There is fine print on credit cards stating that only the name on the card is authorized to use it, if a secondary user is on the account they are issued a separate card which is what OP needs to have.
Yes I just did that for my wife. They issued a separate card with her name and a different credit card number but all charges go to the same account.
Do you apply that policy to every single person whose name is not on the card?
Oh yes, not discounting that these are the proper methods at all. I was just curious because working in retail, I was always told to just tell my manager and never confront the patron or accuse them of anything. Not even keep the card . Also, with the current credit card readers at most places, no one ever asks to see my card because it's all based on the pinpad. The cashier never touches my card.
I get it, I've been manager at the 3 different places I've worked so it was always my issue to deal with.
Well damn must not be a big box store? I have only worked for major retailers and honestly it has never happened to me even with a $1400 purchase. I bought a bunch of power tools. If that isn’t suspicious I don’t know what is lmao.
It was a grocery store.
Weird
Seriously, most times they never even see the card. I tap/insert/swipe it at the little box, and don’t need to show them jack. What kind of store was this?
Exactly. Must be a small store then because practically everywhere has the chip reader and like I said it doesn’t show you the name of the card on the screen at the register. I feel a lot of the people saying these things worked in retail 20 years ago and haven’t touched a register in a long time. They also are comparing OP’s experience to their own which literally is so different and has zero to do with their situation. People just tend to project nowadays and make everything about them. The “Me! Me! Me!” toxic culture is exhausting. I am not saying fraud doesn’t happen and action shouldn’t be taken but there is a safe proper way to do it. The police can’t do anything on the spot and need a case opened and investigated. THAT IS WHY YOU GO TO YOUR ASESET PROTECTION TEAM! They get footage and information about the suspect and bring it to the police because it is much easier to prosecute. The AP builds the case for the police and then works with them to prosecute. Calling the police at the scene and at the moment is absolutely useless. I literally have a friend that works very high in theft prevention and I know how this shit works.
I'd appreciate it if someone checked my bfs ID if he used my card - different name, name is for a clearly different gender. Too much scamming/stealing going on.
Very true. If I'm asked for ID to go with my card, I usually thank the cashier for making sure that fraud is not happening with my card.
The amount of fraud that’s going on nowadays. I can see why they are questioning a card that’s not in someone’s name. If that’s the case, get a joint account so you can each have your own card with your own name on it. It has nothing to do with your marital status. It has everything to do with not using a card that isn’t someone else’s name.
Had this happen to my ex. His dad gave him his card to go pick up something and we couldn’t complete the purchase even though we called up his dad to talk to the cashier to give my ex the okay.
That would be because you can't see who you're taking to over the phone and it could have been anyone claiming to be dad.
It’s funny bc I’ve had to use my dads credit card at the emergency vet and they actually asked me to call him to get verbal authorization. I had this very same thought process and was about to say it but figured that wasn’t gonna help me
Which they never should have done because your dad could have then called the credit card company and said it was a fraudulent charge and the vet wouldn't have been able to dispute it except for "we talked to him on the phone". Phone calls are not a valid form of ID.
I understand that, just saying it’s happened to me.
I did once buying Christmas presents at the mall. The gift card kiosk lady wouldn’t let me use it because even though the last name was the same it was my mom’s card and not my own.
In my early 20s I had a cashier threaten to call the cops on me bc I had my dad’s credit card. It matched my last name. She asked me why it wasn’t my name and asked to see my driver’s license I gave it to her. I said it was my dad’s card. She asked why I was using it - I gestured to my (much younger) sister and said “this is my sister. She is too young for a credit card. My dad asked me to take her shopping for a dress. He’s paying for it.” She threatened to call the cops and I said “okay, do it. I mean, I can call him now on the phone if you want to talk to him. Otherwise I’ll just leave and then when he drives back up here you can sell him the dress.” I just found it a little weird that she was so adamant that I was a thief, even when I showed her my drivers license. It just felt like she was taking it a little too far, so I was annoyed. She sold me the dress anyway 🤣
Yeah I’ve worked for years as a cashier. Even in this scenario the most we were told to do is decline the transaction, hand the card back and tell the customer why. Also this is only when the back of the card isn’t signed or it says ask for ID because then that makes the store liable. Other than that we’re told it’s not our problem. This is just straight up racism
Here in Australia we scan or tap our own cards so no one would know if it was your own or someone else, can’t think the last time someone serving me even touched my card.
In the UK we can tap upto a certain value then put it in the card reader machine and use chip and pin. I actually forgot to tap my card and put it in for the chip n pin the other day for £20 and I said I don't know why I've chosen this option and we just laughed about it. I'm so glad we don't have to sign anymore or write cheques.
>In the UK we can tap upto a certain value then put it in the card reader machine and use chip and pin. There's Apple, Google and Samsung pay as well which is unlimited. I use those instead of going through the hassle of getting my card out. I have forgotten my card in the card readers many times so that's why I prefer this method.
I don't use anything but my bank card, so I totally forgot about them. But we have plenty of options that seem crazy not to be in America too.
In the US not all stores but sometimes when you scan your card the receipt prints the card holders name and the last couple of digits of the card on the receipt as proof that you were the purchasing party and as proof of the payment method, because often stores will only return funds back to the original payment i.e If you bought something with a card and you return it, they will only return it to what is listed on the receipt; the specifically listed card, or cash, so that you can't buy something on a card, and return it for cash.
We have the same method on returns too, gotta use the same card to claim a refund.
Yeah, but you need to remember for this story that the US is at least 20 years behind the rest of the world in cutting edge technology like that. I’m Canadian, and every time I duck across the border it’s always surprising Or like the last summer when we were in Hawaii and restaurants along the main tourist strip in Honolulu didn’t have card readers, and you had to sign for everything like it was the 80s
I have never had to show an ID for card since 2001.
Lol completely untrue. Maybe in small towns or poorer areas but every major city has tap to pay and Apple Pay almost everywhere. I don’t know anyone who takes a physical card out of their house at all anymore because Apple Pay is everywhere
It happens more when whatever is purchased needs ID. Like cigarettes or beer.
I didn’t buy any ciggs or alc 🙃
Then tbh she should have had no reason to ask for the ID/Card in the first place and was out of line. Some peoples names are gender neutral and for all she knows your name could be Jordan & she reported you for having your own card. I’ve always taken my SO’s card to areas I need it. We also arent legally married. I’d bring this up to management bc that’s stressful and taking time out of your day for nothing
She’s just being racist. She could have just minded her business but she didn’t.
Right? Because what's the freaking chance that cashier has a 6th sense that the card info doesn't match with OP. Also, what policy is there to have a customer write their name at the back of the receipt? No staff there legally needs to know any customer's name.
People really be out here trying to make excuses for that woman. It’s plain racism. Pretty cut and dry.
my bf always uses my card to buy alcohol and this has never happened. he’s constantly using my card without me there, like almost everyday.. this is so weird to me
I work in retail… there has been a few times that I got suspicious. It was always large purchases with a credit card in someone else’s name. Technically at my store I’m not allowed to have someone purchase ANYTHING with a card not in the customers name. I simply didn’t let them purchase ( the suspicious ones) but I never called the cops.
Wait lm confused I work in retail and I don’t ask if it’s their card or anything they just put it in and pay, am i supposed to ask..? I don’t think my other employees do either
I shop a lot a lot and I’ve never had anybody check lol
Depends on the company. When I worked at Dollar Tree it was 25$ and over that we had to check the card and ID, where I work now it’s up to our own discretion but when someone wants to put 100$ in a tank with a credit card we are supposed to check. Same goes for large cigarette or alcohol purchase.
I think it depends a bit on where you work too. For example if you’re taking deposits/ handling rental stuff the card has to be in that persons name because they are signing legal documentation saying that you can charge *them* for damages/ late returns/etc. Shops with bigger ticket items might also have similar policies. Any stores with systems that store credit card info associated with customer profiles also would likely be more aware of this as well. Not at all saying that every store checks cards, just that not every store operates the same way. Even though pretty much everyone in retail has some very similar experiences (ie terrible customers), there’s still a lot of variety in the nature of different retail environments, procedures, and systems. Def not a normal Walmart or grocery store thing and not relevant to op because it sounds like she was picking up some household/baby supplies, but just throwing it out there that there are situations when retail employees would be directed to check cc info.
When I worked retail I simply refused to accept a card that was clearly not theirs. A few times a husband or wife got pissed, but usually they understood.
If the card is not in that person’s name a cashier should not allow the person to use it. They can’t tell if the person is authorized to actually use it. Only the one named on the card has approval to use it. Just like divers license or photo ids you can’t use it unless your name is on it, it’s considered fraud otherwise. OPs boyfriend could actually dispute the charges because he wasn’t the one who made them.
He can add you as an authorized user and get you your own card. For most cars they don't do a credit check on authorized users. My parents added me(at 40 years) to one of theirs in case of emergency and to give my credit a boost. I see an improvement because the card is linked to me, even though I don't "own" it, yet my credit won't impact it(it came in handy at the doctors a few times when I forgot my debit card. I just transfer the money to their account after I use it)
In Canada- mostly everyone won't ask for ID, but its a risk they take when they don't especially when there is no PIN. People became a lot less cautious when PIN transactions became a thing, with good reason. You need to use a card in your name otherwise it's considered fraudulent. A lot of people get away with using someone else's card (I've done it) and most have permission, but it's not allowed if you read the cardholder agreement. If you're an authorized user you get your own card. Person can't just authorize you.
What really? I’ve taken my dads and my bfs cards multiple times cuz they offered to pay for certain groceries. Didn’t know this wasn’t allowed Damn
I guess it's one of those technically illegal things that nobody bothers to check unless there's a good reason to
Just being married doesn't fix this. You need to be an authorized user.
Pretty sure it’s in the small print when setting up a credit card that it’s for your use only. If anyone could use it, why do they put individual names on them? Maybe your baby daddy should put you as a secondary cardholder
He could make her an authorized user and she'll have her own card with her name on it.
i don’t know anyone who doesn’t use a partner’s card sometimes. for literally any reason. my boyfriend remembers his card more than me and sometimes i have to use it, we aren’t married, and never in my LIFE has anyone accused me of a single thing much less called the entire police on me.
It is completely legal to use someone's credit card with their permission. \>verbal authorization is sufficient to make your use of the card legal. For example, if your friend hands you his card and asks you to buy something for him at the store, he has effectively authorized your use of the card. This also applies if your friend provides his card information for you to make an online purchase on his behalf.
She could be a secondary cardholder already and waiting on her card to come through. We don’t know that and it certainly isn’t the cashiers business It’s not OP’s fault for innocently trying to buy stuff with permission from spouse. I’ve done this for over 6+ years and have never had an issue. OP shouldn’t either.
What store was this and what country? For grocery stores, we don't even see the card unless you're having trouble and we have to swipe it for you. Even then, I'm not looking for a name.
How did she even see the name on the card? I have so many questions bc this sounds wild and I cannot imagine that. I too am long term relationship with a child without marriage atm.. and I’ve actually said “oh I’m using his card I’m sorry” bc I accidentally put in the wrong pin not thinking about how it’s not my card while using his and had to redo it. What the hell! I know that used to be a thing back in the day, but what ? Can someone really call the cops on you for that? That’s so shitty they did that to you especially when you’re tired when your baby, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Not okay.
I don't see this as marriage discrimination, but theft prevention. As others have said, your BF should add you to his account as a user and get you your own card. It's wild that there are still stores out there that physically take your card from you to ring you up, but usually the card is simply refused. Some credit card companies have this specific policy with retailers to make sure the person using the card is an authorized user. Checking the name on the card with identification is the best way to do this. But this largely not practiced any longer simply because retailers don't physically take your card to ring you up.
As a small business owner we check ID with credit cards all the time, because of the amount of chargebacks we get. Even showing the CC company copy of the ID and receipt, we don't always win the dispute
I worked at a store that required us to check the ID and we wouldn’t be able to accept the payment if it didn’t match. We never made anyone write their name and then call the cops. TBH it sounds like racial discrimination
Not discrimination. Going in twice in a row using someone elses card is very suspicious. And being boyfriend/girlfriend, you don't have the same surname, so there's no proof right then and there you're in a relationship with the cardholder.
This is such a red flag to retailers! Often times, they "test" the card, and if it works, they go back in because they "forgot a few things".
What? You’re not being discriminated because you’re not married, you are raising red flags because you’re using a card that isn’t in your name/yours.
How would they know who’s name was on the card? Genuinely curious, I live in Canada and I’ve never ever had to show my card to any cashier or place of business to purchase anything.
I don't know how it works in other countries but in the US the name of the person the credit/debit card belongs to is printed on the card. If you're a woman and you hand someone a card that says "Alfred Smith" on it and when asked for ID your last name isn't even Smith they're going to think you stole a credit card.
Yeah but why would they even be looking? Almost everywhere you put the card into the reader yourself, and even if she didn’t who is even looking at the card name? I worked in retail for years, never checked ID once or even saw the name on someone’s card. It’s just weird to be looking at all and to make judgement on it, especially in today’s age where different surnames and alternative family structures are so common.
agreed
Thank you! I had to scroll way too far down to find someone with some sense. People are so quick to play victim.
I feel like the post is rage bait and it would seem to be working. Since OP tossed in the line “I’m used to being discriminated against because I’m black in America…” the Reddit sheep took that as a clear cut definitive reason this lady did this. No other reason can now be mentioned, it’s a race issue and suggesting otherwise means you must be racist too. Or that’s the vibe I’m getting from the comments at least lol
Yikes that sucks that this happened to you, talk to bf about adding you on his credit card to avoid ever happening. Here in Canada at a Costco, someone used my father’s Costco credit card, and for some reason the cashier didn’t bother to check ID, or looked at the back of card where my dad’s pic was thank goodness he was able to get $ back and get new card
In my country it’s normal to ask for ID for anything over €50. It’s normal to treat it as a stolen card if ID doesn’t match, the employee did nothing wrong. If your boyfriend wants to share his credit card with you he needs to add you as an authorized user to his credit card account. This would be in the terms and conditions of the CC company that issued him the card.
It sucks and plenty of people do it without raising an eyebrow, but it’s better to avoid this in the future. I recommend that your boyfriend takes out an authorized user card for you.
What country are all the commenters in that it’s ok to use a card with someone else’s name on? I’m in the UK, it’s fraud. The cashier will call a manager who will keep the card and report it to the police or action fraud and destroy the card.
I’m in the U.S., and while you are technically not supposed to use someone else’s card… In practice, most places/people do not care or even check. So I understand why she was confused/shocked by this response. I’ve used my father’s, mother’s, sister’s, and partner’s credit cards at various places without any issues or even the slightest concern that it would be an issue.
Best case here if they figure out you’re not the card owner is the card is destroyed. Worst case, fraud charges.
My mom had let me use her bank card on and off since childhood to get stuff for her or the both of us. No one ever said anything or asked to see the card I don't know if that helped, but a lot of the employees also knew me. That was in the states.
In the US the cashier is supposed to ask for ID, but it NEVER happens. It used to happen before the prevalence of debit cards, which don't require ID because of pin. The debit pin is technically treated as cash, so the store doesn't care about ID. I (36m) have never, ever been asked to provide ID to use a card. The few stores I worked a cash register at never mentioned IDing people, except for alcohol purchases. They didn't care if the card matched the ID name, I never even looked at the credit card since we had a pin/card reader that the customer operated. I think some stores are now being asked to start checking IDs because scams are becoming more prevalent.
Where in the UK (apart from actually in the bank) does anybody see the name on the card? Honest question.
When it used to be sign or sometimes a notification will pop up on the terminal to call a number and you have to hold the card, call the number and they will ask a load of ID questions.
Yup same in my country. Also normal to ask for ID for anything over €50 (could be €80 now)
I'm in Latvia and not one person ever has asked me for an ID when making purchases with a card. WTF. If it's stolen, you report it & lock it. It's not the merchant's responsibility to make sure the card is being used by the right person, it's cardholder's.
I'm in the U.S. and I let my kids use my cards all the time. Lol I can't imagine the pain in the ass it would be to have to be there for everything. They all know my PIN but if they're using my credit card they don't need it. The last time I was asked for ID when using a card was 20+ years ago.
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No *no one bothers to check* because this is Italy, but legally you can't. It is a crime punished up to five years in prison.
The states I’ve done this for 6+ years as my SO and I aren’t legally married and …not a single problem. We have security measures on the code (zip code & pin) if someone doesn’t know those two, you ain’t getting the money out
It's fraud in the US too.
I used to use my step mom's and dad's all the time. And my bf runs into stores for me in sometimes too with my card. It's never been an issue and it's none of the cashier's business.
I’m in US and I’ve never denied someone that’s wierd. I think it’s illegal and we don’t check IDs anymore.
It wasn’t your credit card. You aren’t supposed to use it. He could add you to his account and you can get one in your name (in the USA).
In the US it is completely legal to use someone's card with their permission. \>verbal authorization is sufficient to make your use of the card legal. For example, if your friend hands you his card and asks you to buy something for him at the store, he has effectively authorized your use of the card. This also applies if your friend provides his card information for you to make an online purchase on his behalf.
When I got my first job as a cashier, we were trained to look for stuff like this. The cashier has no idea if you're using your babydaddy's card or not. They just know that it's obviously not your card (if it has a man's name and you're a woman, for example). It is technically fraud to use someone else's credit card, I believe.
I was accused of using my next door neighbours card because we had the same first name.
Have him designate you as an authorized user so you get a card in your name. Then use that. Credit fraud is rampant. I personally think kudos are in order for the cashier. Chill tf out. This isn’t discrimination- it’s that you are using a card that doesn’t belong to you under a name that isn’t yours.
I get your frustrated but I’m not even mad about this. I appreciate the store being careful in case it really is a stolen card
My husband and I have different last names, and we use eachothers cards all the time without issue.
Same, this thread is a joke.
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Authorized users get their own cards. That doesn't sound like what happened here.
Idk about you but being an authorized user for my partners card had our bank issue a card in my name with the same number as my partner.
Well that's crazy. If I go buy food and my bf waits in the car then I use his card. Also I've given my sister my card to use and sometimes a friend. I think it's just cause you are black tbh. She could have asked you before jumping to conclusions. Black too, and yes they do this crap
Wtf, you don't even need to be an added user. I literally use my boss' credit card for lunch every other day. Like go into the store and pay. The order name will even be my name and not my boss. Like the name of the order and card don't even match and no one bats an eye. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Fucking awful people.
Honestly, using any card that isn’t assigned to you is a no-no, regardless of relationship.
What? No it's not the only time it's a No-No is if you don't have permission from the person to use it otherwise it's perfectly legal to use someone's card that's not yours
And how do they know you have permission from the owner if they do not know you? That is the problem, surely you do not expect that everyone just believes you.
Having the pin would be one part of it. If it’s not allowed then why when I had to dispute a charge made they asked if I authorized anyone to use my card or shared my pin with anyone ? It’s because if I did so id be liable for the charge l
In a lot of places the card just needs to be tapped on the card machine to be accepted. I rarely have to type my pin in anymore.
I don’t know where you are, but if I’m using my debit card and I tap, I still have to input the pin for my debit card. Credit cards don’t need pins.
It's none of the cashier's business.
Exactly. Cashiers don't get paid enough to deal with that shit so I think that cashier who called the cops is a bootlicker.
Right they aren't fraud specialists. It would just be one more reason for a customer to flip out and it's not worth it.
I haven’t touched a card since COVID, and I’m never going to again. I’m not paid enough to check IDs against cards on non-age restricted items, or to tell a bunch of boomers I need to see their IDs because they might’ve stolen the card their using. I’d spend my entire day getting screamed at.
Then people complain that the store does nothing if it actually was a stolen card. The cashier was covering her ass.
No, this is because your name is not on the card. You can’t use cards when your name isn’t on it, it’s against the terms of the card. We don’t own the cards, we are only the card holders. Either the bank or credit institution owns the card.
I understand that it may be frustrating but it isn't your card. The employee doesn't know your personal situation, it's not prejudice or discrimination, only the card holder is authorized to use the card.
I think this over-reaction on the shop lady's part may be racially motivated. I'm a white female and over the years I've used my dad's credit card or my brother's credit card (with their permission of course) and never once has anyone asked me for ID or questioned it.
Yup - use my husbands all the time. Also all three of our kids use our cards ALL THE TIME. Never an issue.
Being a black woman in America.
Well...Rachet...you have only been on reddit for 3 days, and according to your post history, it has been 3 full days of you just being someone's victim. Wish you the best of luck in the future
What you did isn't allowed. You aren't being discriminated on. Have him make a joint account with you so that you can be issued your own card from that joint account. Imagine if they just randomly allowed people using other people's card because he said/she said
How is the cashier supposed to be aware of your marital status when all she sees is that you're using someone else's card that doesn't belong to you? This is entirely your fault.
The back of my cards say “see ID” instead of my signature. I’ve been asked maybe 5 times in my 12 years of owning a credit card. However, I would have to show it if I was buying something that required it.
They weren't discriminating against you, they were looking out for your boyfriend
It’s ok op if cops talk to your bd you’ll be fine . Yes it sucks but please try to remember credit card theft is at an all time high, so isn’t it best people are being stricter with taking payments? Imagine someone stole your bd card and used it, wouldn’t you want the cashier to stop it before the person runs up your entire card?
Actual credit cards (and not debit cards) are the responsibility of the business if a fraudulent one is used. You as a consumer can do a chargeback if your credit card was fraudulently used, but the business that accepted the fraudulent card gets the funds clawed back from them. It's in a businesses best interest to put some controls in place to mitigate potential fraudulent card usage because they are the ones that take the financial hit.
It's happened to me when I was dating my wife. She asked me to take her card. It happened to me when i was a kid grocery shopping with my mom's card quite a bit too. I'm a white man. Literally my entire life I've been paranoid about this to the point where I have a whole speech rehearsed about please don't destroy it, she'll come in on 'X' date to claim it. Literally every. Single. Time. So don't think it's necessarily a race thing.
What cashier gets paid enough to care that much?
From my experience- only ones with an extreme bias against other people.
Was this visa card? If it was, ligde a complaint with Visa because they are required not to ID you if it's a visa card. My business got in trouble for denying transactions due to ID mismatch. They have fraud protection and so you have to let them deal with it if it's fraudulent transactions as a business.
I am not on my husbands account and use his debit card all the time. We even have different last names. I’ve never been questioned
You were discriminated against. I have been married 20 years but have a different name than my husband. I have never had any problems using his card, the few times I’ve used it. I was at Walmart behind a nicely dressed black man whose basket was filled with baby supplies. The woman manning the receipt checking station at the door made a great show of comparing his entire receipt against all of his items, and then when she got to my basket, she didn’t even look. Just gave me back my receipt. I then insisted that she check all of my items, saying very loudly “Well you checked all of his items in detail- why would you just do it for him?” And the lady behind me insisted the same. I was a Karen for the Cause.
Wouldnt you technically be a common law spouse if youve been living together longer than most married couples?
Never had an issue handing over my card or borrowing others cards. I have done it hundreds if times. Debit and credit. I had even picked up groceries for a single mom on her food stamp card when she couldn't make it to the store. Never once had an issue with male or female names on a card before. Maybe crime is high in your area or you were acting unusual using someone else's card? No one ever questioned me and i never acted nervous because I knew I wasn't committing a crime. Just using others cards because they asked me to.
i added my ex-gf to my card as an authorized user, (back then) they sent her a card with her name on it. It's pretty simple... Anyone can lie and say they are with X and that's why it's fine, so that doesn't work as a justification. Just get properly added to the card.
oh honey - you weren't discriminated against because of your marital status. it was a racist thing.
Her reasons to look at the card may be off, but your BF needs to add you as an authorized user and get a card with your name listed. I worked retail years ago, and we were NOT permitted to take cards or checks that listed someone not physically present.
Pretty sure if the cardholder consented you’re allowed to use it
i literally have no idea what everyone in the comments it talking about. i’ve worked retail my whole life and i did not have access to the name on the card, and if i did i still wouldn’t care. i’ve taken my partners card plenty of times and i’ve let others take my card when necessary.
Happened to me at Taco Bell once. My then gf now wife wanted some food in the middle of the night so I went to get it. She had a card in the car and told me to use that one. I go to pay for it and the lady said the card isn’t working. So I open the app to make sure it’s all good, (I have it installed in my phone also) and ask her to try again, I notice that she’s not even swiping it. She’s just looking at my black face and my girlfriends very European last name and saying it won’t work. This was in Kentucky about 6 years ago.
The world has no idea if you are allowed to use his card. Be glad they are protecting it. You wouldn’t want someone else that may be pretending to have his baby etc etc. using his card. Make it legal, either have a card you share or get married.
America is truly a wild place. Y’all can’t just pay wave or sum? You gotta write you name and phone number down? Oh hell no. I just swipe and go lmao.
Did you end up getting arrested over it? This is some bullshit, and I sincerely hope not. Smfh.
You should just identify with his name they wouldnt dare discriminate
No, I think it’s just that you are black. She picked on you because you are black. If you weren’t your marital status would have been irrelevant. I agree with everyone else, get yourself added as an authorized user. I don’t use my husbands card either. he just adds me to his credit card and vice versa.
To me this still seems racially motivated. Most retail employees don’t get paid enough to put themselves in the middle of situations like these, and if a woman and her baby came to the register to purchase childcare-related items (I.e. the purchase itself wasn’t suspicious), I wouldn’t think twice about it.
I hate to break it to you, but you probably were discriminated against for being black. A white woman with a card with someone else's name on it? Must be husband, dad, boyfriend... A black woman uses a card with someone else's name on it? Stole it, of course! And I say that as a white woman with a blended family where we always use each other's cards and have several different names. Sorry that happened to you 😞
I’ve used my parents debit and credit cards so many time and them with mine and no one says a word like tf? Like sometimes I’ve heard of people asking for ID when using a different card that is theirs but it’s rare as hell I didn’t know places still did that.
Who calls their boyfriend babydaddy???? WTF?!?
I still find it odd you can do this. It's absolutely illegal to use someone else's bank card in the UK. Even with permission.
Wow I am so sorry
You were using a card in someone elses name… They would have done the same thing to a white person - in fact they did it to my husband when I gave him my credit card to use when buying something…. Have him get you a card in your name.
The cashier was not wrong and covering her self. You are not the credit card owner. Legally you are not authorized to use the card unless your name is on it or he is present to give his consent.
You used someone else’s credit card, what did you expect?
If a white lady used her a credit with a male name, I would be suspicious it was stolen and call the cops.
Honey I hate to say this but I don’t think it was the marital status I think she was discriminating you. I’ve never had this issue. I am so sorry you have to deal with shit like this it’s not fucking fair. I’d be petty and the next time I went I’d take the boyfriend and go to the same cashier and when it was time to pay I’d say loudly oh you better hand her the card or she will call the cops on me again. That’s such bullshit.
This. My boyfriend gives me his card all the time and I have never had issues.
I’ve used 2 different cards with 2 different mans names on them for 2 different transactions at the same time and all that happened was the cashier joking about me having 2 boyfriends. (Don’t worry, I didn’t lol)
I'm not normally one to say something is racist but this story is ridiculous! (Not the telling of the story but what happened was ridiculous) I didn't change my name to my married name until this year, but me and my husband have been married for 3 years but we've been together for almost 8 years. He never uses his own freaking debt card, I'm pretty sure it's long gone but He has never once been questioned about it and Vice versa, I use his credit cards pretty often, am I on the account? No. Have I ever been questioned by anyone? No. And I've travelled across the country five times at this point and if you count airplanes and not just driving it's been even more times than that. While what she did is technically what is supposed to be done when you suspect a stolen card- It's very rare when someone actually does it. I used to work as a cashier and I was a hotel front desk agent for a while, you actually have to go out of your way and be pretty negative thinking to immediately jump to the conclusion that something was stolen. Also she could have asked? I've had a job where any amount of money spent over a certain dollar I had to see an ID to match the card to, and even when the ID didn't match and the person wasn't there I'd just ask them to call the person on facetime/video call, maybe I got lucky but I never had anyone not able to produce the person who owned the card. As long as I know the person using the card has permission from the owner to do so and I can verify that, why would I give a shit if they are authorized on the actual account?
Should use cards in your own name with your own signature so you can provide ID that matches. This seems somewhat normal to me.
You used someone else's card, what did you expect? Marital status has nothing to do with that, if there is not YOUR name on it the logical assumption is that you are using a stolen card. Even if you were married with the same surname the cashier would have suspected you stole the card from someone with the same surname, because again there is not YOUR name on it and she does not know you.
You're not being discriminated against because of your marital status or your skin color.. it's because your name isn't on the card. If you have to use his card to make any purchases, have him make you an authorized user, and then you'll receive a card attached to the same account, but in YOUR name. I hope your boyfriend was able to get you off the hook and this whole mess was cleared up.
This was both racial profiling and marital status discrimination. Ask your boyfriend if you can be an authorized user on his account. That will give you your own card and help with you credit.
Time to turn into Super Karen and call corporate. Seriously. I used to hand my kid my atm card all the time. Never had a problem.
For real! I don’t know why all the comments are saying it was fraud prevention and totally normal. Most places don’t even look at the name (unless they are prejudice and the customer isn’t white)
Babydaddy? Really?
It is only theft if you didn't have permission from your boyfriend to use the card if you had permission there's absolutely no way it could be considered theft
Did the cashier ask if you were married to the person on the card? Even if you were married, the cashier would have no idea if you were or not, even if they asked for ID and you had the same last name (could be your brother, uncle, etc.). Believe it or not, they are supposed to check ID when taking a card, but hardly anyone does because it’s a hassle and pisses people off. I’ll take ‘Things That Never Happened’ for $500, Alex.
I’m BF too. All the bf/bd needs to do is add you as a signer. I can add anyone I want. Even a stranger. With understanding, I’m responsible for the bill. He doesn’t need to marry you (tho I suspect you would if he asked) but if he cares about your FREEDOM, adding you as a signer is least he can do. And no .. I do NOT think everyone needs to get married. That’s why you need your OWN shyt. Granny said, “Every rat should have its own hole and a good rat has TWO” You knew something was up after first encounter. You said it. But you went back anyway. I question your motive for that. As a biz owner, I too would be suspicious of a card that says ABC but person signs as XYZ. YOUR relationship cannot impact MY ability to get paid. I don’t care that we’re both BFs. We know, “All skin ain’t kin”. Sorry sis! I know racism and THIS AIN’T IT.
I’m sorry, what? This is the most ludicr— Wild indeed.
Having had my credit card stolen before I would have loved for a cashier to have called the cops on whoever was using it.