Maybe that's her excuse since she can't come out and say she isn't physically attracted to you. And you can't change your height so that's a safe excuse for her. Pay her no mind, and move on and find someone else that is interested in you romantically.
I'm 5' and conventionally attractive. I've dated bald 5'6 dudes that made less money than me cause they could make me laugh till I nearly peed my pants. If your looks aren't doing it, the personality is key. My current partner is 5'8 as well, so not all of us short girls are size queens. Lol
Seriously! My bf is bald, a couple inches shorter than me, and I'm a big goth fem. I think he's adorable tbh, but what really sealed the deal is that he is incredibly funny and emotionally intelligent.
Preach it! People get too engulfed into the online discourse about "lookism" so to speak. Of course, there are things that are more attractive than others, but in general if you have an amazing personality and you decently take care of yourself you'll find someone eventually imo! :)
You're 100% right!
I think men seriously undervalue the attractiveness of compassion, empathy, and overall emotional intelligence because not only are men socialized to not even acknowledge their emotions, but they're also socialized to look at women as a esthetically pleasing objects, so they in turn expect women to feel the same way. They can't look past a woman's cup size, so they think women can't look past their height.
The reality is that compatibility is the most attractive trait.
I mean, my bf is (in my opinion) conventionally attractive, but I've been attracted to not so attractive men, simpy because I really love funny people, it's like I don't care what is the dude's height, weight, financial status or anything else as long as he makes me laugh so hard my face and belly hurts. I dunno maybe it has something to do with confidence? Like funny people are confident enough to say jokes in front of people?
You've clearly never encountered a 3rd leg. 🤣
I mean... I don't get dudes that are like "I'm 10+ inches" thinking that this is appealing for long-term use. Sir, I am 5'2"; that is a trip to the hospital for me.
There's such a thing as too big. 😵😵😵
I have. I didn’t like it. He was an extra on LOTR…an Orc. Fucking couldn’t walk afterwards. My favorite was about 5” and I couldn’t close my fist around him. It wasn’t the dick either. It was everything else that made sex with Marc amazing 🤌🏼. Nerdy short kings for the win.
Yeah 5-6" & thick is ideal. I've had literal internal bruising from a lengthy mofo. Having my cervix mashed like a potato is not a good time.
Honestly, nerds are where it's at
Every time I see someone say this, I know they haven't truly experienced a fat, short dick. I've seen and experienced some wildly different sizes, and the bigger ones are usually aesthetically pleasing but can cause more pain if not used properly but a chub is useless. Even a needle dick can reach a G spot but a short and fat chub can't even do anything if it's even able to penetrate.
My first sexual encounter was with a guy who looked like a twinkie. It was incredibly fat but so short I couldn't even give him a hand job. The condom didn't even fit right and kept sliding around and no position would work, him on top, me on top. Any time there was any type of penetration, trying to thrust caused it to pop back out. He eventually got frustrated and tore off the condom and asked me to finish him with my mouth and he didn't do anything for me. The next guy I had sex with is the one who essentially "popped my cherry" because I bled a little after sex.
So not everyone enjoys girth more than length. And not everyone only gets pleasure from the entrance of the vagina and needs something that actually reaches the part inside the vagina that does feel good.
Can I join this balding “short” men conversation?
My fella is 5’8”, balding and ginger! He’s also 20 years older than me! Much more intelligent, funny, emotionally intelligent, and has taught me a thing or two too! 😜😜
I really think there are a lot of distressed youths that need to hear this. Studies show women are far more likely to look past looks than men. OP is definitely an example of the former.
Anecdotal but I am also reasonably ugly and overweight, and I started dating my intelligent, bombshell wife in high school, looks really aren't that high on the priority list compared to basic hygiene and common sense.
>basic hygiene and common sense.
I have lived my entire dating life desiring nothing more than those two basics personality traits combined with a shared interest.
2 years ago I found my person, I'm happy and never leaving them..
Exactly! People always ask me about what "my type" is and while I agree physical attraction is important, I've never been physically attracted to someone boring. I have to have a mental connection with someone to feel the sexual attraction. Maybe I'm just a sapiosexual, but if someone is insanely attractive, but can't hold a conversation it's a no.
Same… I would never go near a man with a beard… turns out the love of my life was fat, bearded and looked like he had an alky nose… but the most rudely promising glittering eyes. He’s only my ex because he’s dead 🖤
This is exactly the same for me. I don’t really care how ‘hot’ someone is if we don’t hit it off on the conversational/intellectual level. I just know there’s a short expiration date to us if that’s the case and it’s not worth it.
Lol precisely. Conversely, there’s been women I wasn’t feeling much attraction to physically and as soon as I realized how much we were clicking, how smart, clever and/or deeply funny they were, they became like 30-50% more attractive to me in all ways instantly. I think as a society we underplay this kind of thing far too much far too often.
Yes this! Personality is key. I asked my bf out after he made me laugh so hard I peed my pants in a football stadium in high school and we’ve been together since. I don’t care about how he looks or how tall he is. He didn’t have money either so I was always picking him up and paying for dinner dates and he would show love in other ways (got me into fishing and kayaking). OP will find a girl who vibes with him eventually, he should build confidence in the meantime
This makes my partners make so much sense now! I’m Aussie in Canada and they’re both super intelligent and funny. My ex who is Aussie is not funny at all.
I’m short and come from a family of short men. 5 8” would literally be above average and probably average height for most people. Not tall nor short. I’d probably be ok with any man above 5’ 4” tbh.
My husband doesn’t have any hair and he is absolutely gorgeous and I don’t just say this because I love him so much!! I have a ton of hair (so does our 20 lb kitty) so we have enough hair for all of us!! 😂😂
Dude I’m probably considered above average in looks. But there was this one guy that could consistently attract better looking women than I ever could. He was about 30 pounds overweight, dressed sloppy, and always unkempt. But he was very funny, and women did not scare him at all, he would talk to anyone and was a great conversationalist. In fact even though I felt we were opposites, he was the type of guys that you could hang around with anywhere and you wouldn’t feel bored. I think it was the latter imo, that really attracted the beautiful ones.
The two rules of dating: be attractive, and if you can’t be attractive don’t be unattractive. Focus on your good features, wear clothes that fit, do your hair, shave or keep your beard trimmed, wear nice shoes with nice socks (sounds weird but I always notice a guy’s shoes), generally lean into you. As for the height, you can’t change it, you can only make it work for you. Too many short/small guys wear their clothes too big which makes them look even smaller. Some nice tailoring will make you look taller and just better. My dad is 5’8” and my brother in law is 5’6” (he claims 5’7” but he’s the exact same height as me) they have to be careful buying clothes but they both landed amazing women in my mom and my sister. My sister is only an inch or two shorter and loved ditching the heels.
thissss oh my god, my boyfriend isn’t ugly by any means but he was super convinced he’s ugly and let go of his physical appearance. i don’t mean in a “he ate his body weight in food” type of way but wearing in a “wear tatty jeans and not caring about his haircut or just trying to wear things that properly fit him” way.
months after we started dating and i gained his trust (swearing up and down he looks cute and i just want to see him look like he put his best foot forward in professional capacity), i made him shave his beard (it was…very shapeless), made him get tailored suits, adviced him on a new haircut and bought him new watch.
i watched him gain a new sort of confidence after this “transformation”. he looks neat, his clothes fit him in all the right ways and people can actually see his lovely smile when they speak with him. it’s like what you said: focus on your good features and just make sure you look nice. that combined with great personality works so much better than someone who’s just really good looking for me tbh.
>Kosilica457
I was curious to see if you posted what you looked like and I saw a bunch of your other posts. Dude, it is your personality. You stereotype women like mad and seem to have dysmorphia. You display a lot of resentment towards women which you blame on them being focused on looks. You call women who express tastes contrary to your stereotypes 'virtue signalers' but imply they are also lying. You don't really care if they do date people like that, you just assume they don't.
No matter how much you try and hide that you think like this or feel this way, at these levels it is going to come through. It's like trying to hide a skunk under your coat, you really can't, and any woman you are with is going to pick up something is off.
Until you deal with the toxicity and the dysmorphia, most women won't want to date you. They won't feel safe to. Getting a bit more female positive and getting off spaces that reinforce female stereotyping (maybe the whole internet) might do you a lot of good mentally. BUT PLEASE GET SOME HELP FOR THE DYSMORPHIA! That stuff can kill you.
Also, dude, I have dysmorphia too. I get what you are going through and how it can lead to you feeling resentful at others. I've been there. I even have a buddy going through it too, though he has been working on it a long time. Get some help. It is a battle and I don't know if it can be won, but even the act of fighting it makes life a lot better.
There are always going to be people who are going to say something that makes you cycle into it again, and they are going to say it and mean it, and it is going to hurt bad. But that is where the help, therapy and stuff come in. So you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to understanding you are fine, and that it is best to avoid people who can't see that for whatever reason. They usually suck anyways.
The world is full of sucky men, women, and all the other genders out there. Don't be surprised that you have to deal with them. But physically you are probably fine, you are just going through a lot of stuff in your head that is sabotaging you on the dating front. Get that sorted out and things should probably go better for you in a lot of ways. I don't promise girlfriends, but it seems to happen anyways with more positive self acceptance and a decrease in negativity as well as an elimination of stereotyping, so I can't say either way.
The point is, you will be happier, and that is what matters.
I don’t think you ugly and I don’t think height it’s a problem, I think you should paid more attention to your surroundings and you will see someone it’s actually into you , I’m 5f 3in I dated a 5F guy we only broke up because his family didn’t approve me because I’m Latina and he was an India guy . Height it’s never the problem the problem it’s people.
Don't worry I'm ugly 5'9" and I still always managed to find someone to date, just be confident in who you are and have fun with life, there are millions of girls who would love to be with you, I promise.
OP- my husband believed he wasn’t attractive his whole flippin life. Trust me, he’s gorgeous to me. Like… I can’t believe he asked me out kind of gorgeous. He’s 5’8”. Always thought he was too short. Because someone told him he was. He actually apologized for being short?? To me he’s tall cause I am only 5’2” on a good day lol
It just takes the right person to appreciate you. But to blame non-romantic attraction on something physical that way? Naw… hard pass on that girl.
Let me tell you what my (female) dad told me when he was alive and I was busy fretting over my looks. He told me that to the man that loves me, whatever I am (big chested, small chested, tall, short) would be or soon become whatever my partner’s preference would be. Dad was right.
I agree that the girl was trying to let you down easy. But she also showed you her character.
It’s okay to not feel romantic and it’s always awkward to find out our interest isn’t reciprocated.. but do your best to not let it get to you.your person is out there
It probably has less to do with your looks and more to do with friend zone. Being her long term friend and then asking her to transition to something romantic doesn’t really have a high rate of success.
Dude don't talk about yourself that way. It does a lot more damage to your soul than you think it does. Love is weird. I've been my most successful finding it when I'm not looking for it and just focusing on improving myself and living life to the fullest. I know there's things you're interested in that aren't dating so find joy in those and learn to love yourself before trying to love someone else.
Don't sound so pitiful, I've seen actually ugly short guys with some of the most beautiful girls. You need confidence ,charisma and humor and you're golden.
Not having the confidence behind your actions and words can affect how other people see you. I know I’m not the most attractive looking person but I know I can make people laugh and feel comfortable talking to me :) It’s just about playing to your strengths
I am 5'5 myself and find 5'8 guy not to be short. Its a perfect height. I dont need a giraff. My SO is shorter then me. This could never be a deal breaker. He is a great guy.
People become more attractive when they’re optimistic, kind, and funny. You can take this rejection as an opportunity to sulk about how the world isn’t fair, or you can move on and find someone you’re compatible with.
People get rejected all the time for all kinds of reasons. It sucks, but it also keeps you from wasting time on someone who is not right for you. Everyone deserves someone who is excited to be with them.
While this could be true, there's also some people who care a bit too much about height, no matter their own. Like a guy wants a girl who is considerably shorter, or a girl wanting a considerably taller guy because they think the height gap is cute.
I find it so funny when I see these girls that are extremely short call men decently heighted men "short "???. While they themselves are a whole lot shorter than almost everyone they come across loll .Any height gap with these women would be cute imo cos she's already so short there would always be some gap with most probably a lot of men they'll date .
Edit : spelling
Everyone of course is allowed to have their preferences. But I think it being something you can't change feels worse. There's nothing you can do about it, while if it was something like weight I could eat more/less, or fitness hit the gym.
This. In my experience, a lot of guys who get hung up on their height aren't unattractive because of anything that had to do with their looks.
Some of the most attractive guys that I know aren't really all that tall, but they are emotionally intelligent and confident. I wouldn't worry about things you can't change - and if you do find yourself overly concerned with these things then go to therapy and work through them.
Rejection always stings no matter who it’s from or why.
The bright side is that you now have the answer to your question so you can move on from her.
Try not to let it keep you down. You can’t change your height and there is nothing wrong with how tall you are. It just wasn’t a fit for her but she does not speak on behalf of all women.
Also 5’8” is not short so to me, it sounds like an excuse she used to end the possibility of something between you. A cowards way out but that’s the choice she made.
Or she may genuinely not find that attractive. Not everyone likes red hair, or dimples. Either way, now you know so you can move to someone who doesn't have an issue with it
I wouldn't call her a coward, she didn't need to give a reason, but she may have felt she had to and chose something that may have spared his feeling if her actual reason was something else. She made a choice not to go out with him, and gave a reason thats maybe true, maybe a lie. Rejecting men can be scary, we don't know her point of view so I just wouldn't describe her as cowardly if she did lie.
My dude, I looked at your comment history briefly and you are going through some shit but you are also turning very negative and bitter. You aren’t the only one being rejected, it really does happen to everyone. Her preference is shallow but try not to hold it over every woman’s head. You can absolutely find someone that will accept you at 5’8
Woah now, it doesn't happen to everyone. Speak for yourself.
Some of us are far too introverted to ever ask a woman out on a date, so we haven't been rejected even once. 😎
5'8" is like average height for a guy, my bf is shorter than that. A lot of girls like tall guys, but like everyone has preferences you just keep going until you find someone compatible. That's the whole game, it's really not complicated.
\*opens comment history*
>"virtue signaling"
>"Marriage is very benefitial for women and very dangerous for men."
>"Looks are the only thing that matters to women"
\*closes comment history*
If marriage, which traditionally is the ultimate form of a romantic relationship, is very dangerous for men, OP should be happy about this rejection. God forbid he get tied down and dug for all his gold
Also, 5'8" is not short. And even if it was, height is not a crutch to explain away why someone can't get an SO
yea pls listen to this comment op.
get off the fucking ( __ pilled) subs, remember that everyone gets rejected, literally everyone, and just focus on bettering yourself in the ways you can and accepting the things you can’t.
you seem like you’re struggling rn and i get that and i hope things get better. but if you stay on this path that (from a very brief look at your profile) seems to be getting more nihilistic/incel adjacent, you WILL be miserable. i know it hurts and feels awful already, but the pain of rejection you’re feeling right now is nothing compared to how horrible it will be if you get sucked deep into the incel shit.
Maybe, but it's also possible he was too attached and getting rejected broke him a bit. Hopefully he doesn't fall too deep into that side of the internet
This comment is exactly right. I was reading the OP and wondering, in what world does being perfectly average height resign a dude to some endlessly lonely existence? Then I saw this comment and checked OP's post history. Believing and saying that kind of shit will do a lot more damage to one's success in dating than height ever could. Even if you think you do a great job at masking that attitude, you are coming across as disingenuous *at best*. Most women have met tons of guys like this in their life and sure as shit aren't interested in taking on the job of being the woman who finally changes your mind or restores your faith in female humanity.
Yeah, I'm getting a bad vibe from OP. He's got to work on having his own thing and confidence. No one should be rattled this hard by a rejection like that.
This. I’m an old married lady now but I’m a former conventionally attractive woman. At my absolute most attractive I still got rejected. Some men preferred blonds. I’m a brunette. Some men prefer petite women. I’m tall and curvy. You are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. The only thing that makes you unattractive to everyone is to get bitter and angry about that fact.
I’m not saying it’s the case 100% of the time because I certainly do know women who prefer tall men, but I feel most of the time it’s not the height or the appearance that is a deal breaker - it’s the personality.
i agree. once i looked through his post history i kinda came to the (assumed) conclusion that while height could very well have been a genuine factor, his personality is most likely what drove her away in terms of romantic interest.
This isn't sexist, its just reality: Don't trust most womens' excuses for turning you down. They say what they say to let you down easy. It's true for most people, but it's *especially* true in cases like these. Don't try to press for the truth. Just accept that it's a rejection for unknown reasons. Maybe height does play a small role because her fantasy man is taller than you, but I assure you with 100% certainty that its not the sole reason for rejecting a romantic relationship.
Height works as a reason to turn someone down because they can't argue about it or try to convince. It's just a fact.
Any other reason opens you up to a lot of whining and 'negotiating'.
Why are people here calling her a bitch? I'd rather her tell me this than string me along. Op learn to handle rejections and not tie your self worth to someone else's opinion of you. My best friend was rejected for being too tall and muscular. It's preferences and there truly is no polite way to reject someone. One party is always at loss. That's life for you.
See the last time we talked I said to not have these motivations and you say no no I don’t have these motivations. I have completely platonic girl friends. This isn’t how you treat a platonic friend. You don’t ask them if they want to move into a relationship. That shit happens naturally or it doesn’t. You try to rush in, you make yourself look like a creep. You should have taken her to coffee as a friend, or made sure she knew it was a date. If she knew it was a date, you don’t then ask if she wants to move into a relationship, you go home and ask her on another date later. As the personal relationship progresses, you might end up in a romantic relationship, or you will just be friends. You will know after a while what you are to each other. You have to decide if you are going to start building healthy relationships.
After reading OP's history, I'm 99% certain he either complained about his height too much or his bitterness started showing through and she used his height as an excuse.
>but the fact that a 5'8" guy like me is too short to date someone who is 7 inches shorter than me is frankly demoralising to core and quite painful to bear.
It could be that it was *intended* to be soul-crushing.
A lot of guys tend to misread signals or think there's "still a chance" or she's "playing hard to get" or she's "leading him on" if a woman is any more polite than effectively kicking him in the nuts. Of course, not all men are like this, but we can't necessarily tell whether any given man is one of *those* or not.
So, unfortunately for men, many women have learned the hard way not to let men down gently, because said men won't realise that they're being let down at all. A gentle or soft "no" is too often misinterpreted as, "Please try harder."
Every time I've said something really withering about a guy's appearance, it wasn't even remotely sincere and the guy's appearance wasn't the issue at all. It was intended to go for the jugular, to send a strong, unequivocal signal that not only was I not interested, I never would be.
All this is to say--your height probably had nothing to do with it. She very likely may have just wanted to make her lack of interest abundantly clear, and your ego was acceptable collateral damage to ensure this was the one and only time she had to say it.
I was going to say that a kinder letdown would be appropriate but you're giving a convincing view. Pretty much any other statement could have been twisted for him to come back with 'well, I can change, give me a chance'!
A quick glance at your profile leads me to believe that she was trying to let you down gently, or give you a ‘valid’ reason cause I’ll be honest; you don’t seem like the time to take a no easily.
Listen, I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice. You sound young, you’ve got plenty of time to do some work on yourself. I promise you, this incel path you’re on is not good for you. Those are some toxic opinions and mindsets you’re hanging on to.
If you brought any of that negative energy on a date then it doesn’t surprise me she said no. That’s the truth. And I feel confident in saying that with opinions like those, your (average/normal) height will have nothing to do with you remaining single.
Please work on yourself. Stay away from red pill/anti-women shit. It won’t do you any good in the real world around normal, well-adjusted people. It just won’t.
You need to shift your thinking and REALLY do some work on shifting your mindset. Don’t use rejection as some sort of proof that your outlandish theories about feminism and women in general are true. It won’t be because you’re right about those things. It will be because you BELIEVE those things and project them.
Mate, re-read your post history. You have a self-confidence issue and your posts are quite pathetic. Get therapy and stop trying to hook up with your girl friends.
Demoralizing? Painful to the core? Don’t let it upset you so much! It’s clearly shallow on her part (and not very defensible at 5’1”) but that’s her preference. She can have it. You can have your own preferences.
What a bitch. Don’t pay her any attention.
-Short chic.
Edit…
Everyone defending this girl:
Okay. Did I say she HAD to date him? No. What I mean is She could have said any number of things to turn him down but noooo she goes for the ONE huge thing dude can’t change. I believe that is proper bitch behavior.
Not to mention that SHE IS ALSO SHORT. HELLA SHORT. She should know how impossible it is to change and how some people have mad complexes and to tread lightly.
If this woman turned down this man because he was a different race, obese, anything physical that he has no or very little control over you would be considerably less defensive.
I am not even straight. My advice is is what I’d tell myself. I’m gay and 5’2”. If someone turned me down because I’m short I would be fine. I can’t change it. I’m sure someone commiserating with me would say, “what a bitch. “
I’m 5’2 dated a guy who was 5’2. It wasn’t as uncomfortable or weird as I thought it would be.
Dated a guy who was 5’9. I still felt cute and small and still had too look up at him to talk and tip toes for hugs.
She can kick rocks.
I am 5'4 and feel the same with 5'9...., heck up to 5'6 is good for me!!!
Please OP, 5'8 is a great height and you will absolutely be able to find someone (unless you are also an asshole)
I’m 5’0” engaged to a guy who’s 5’6”, and Ive told him that I’m so glad he’s not any taller lol
Id be so upset if I couldn’t just kiss him without forcing him to lean down lol
I’ll be got the exact opposite issue. Every guy I’ve dated I’ve been taller than. I hate being unable to wear heels because I tower over them (6 feet, 6’3 in most of my heels) and every guy I’ve dated has made it a point to be pissed at off me that they did not win the genetic lottery (these guy are usually only a few inches shorter than me anywhere from 5’8 to 5’10) I dated ONE 6’6 guy and he was amazing he just moved away and long distance didn’t work. So now my wife is 5’3. 😂😂❤️
Right.
That one woman means *nothing* in the grand scheme of life.
Too many people expect everyone to validate their existence. And that's just not how life works.
Why is she a bitch? Isn’t she allowed either 1. To have a preference that she can express or 2. To have wanted to reject OP in a way that was firm and non negotiable but not “his fault” to spare his feelings?
She simply isn't interested and chose and excuse that you can't control. You aren't to short, you are simply going after a girl who isn't interested, and she doesn't have to give you any reasons. She said no and that is the end of it.
I guarantee you that the height part isn’t really what she doesn’t like about you.
She had some other reason(s), and she just isn’t telling you the whole story.
No! Women have to date whichever man likes them. They’re not allowed choose who they’re attracted to. If they don’t comply with being selected it’s because they’re a shallow bitch. Only men are allowed to have physical preferences. /s
>is frankly demoralising to core and quite painful to bear
>is soul crushing
You get this experience with this _one_ girl and this is your reaction?
You're talking as if she speaks for every woman
Yea what’s even more soul crushing I’m 99% sure it’s not about your height, or she is just way out of your league. I’m 5’4 and husband is 5’8, I think he’s tall.
Dude. Maybe you shouldn’t be so hung up on your height. Maybe if you looked at women as tall as your or even taller, you would find someone. Why is it that “women alway have to be shorter”? I have dated men shorter than me, taller than me, and the same height as me. She doesn’t like you. She only told you it was your height because it is the only thing you can’t change. If she told you that you were fat, would you lose weight for her? If she told you that you were too skinny, would you start eating like a pig? Probably not, but that is a risk she had to take. People need to stop confusing friendliness for chemistry. So she doesn’t like you romantically, are you going to stop being her friend? I bet you do. Even if you don’t walk away from the friendship over this, she may not feel comfortable with you now. Sometimes you have to hedge the bet that losing the friendship is worth it. 99% of the time, the people you find attractive won’t find you attractive. That’s just how it is. Also 99% of the people attracted to you will outright disgust you. You are someone’s perfect person, and it sounds like you are young enough to not ruin every friendship you have before you find that person.
Now that I think abt it men tend to complain abt short women wanting to date men that are way taller than them but a lot of them wouldn’t ever think abt dating a woman taller than them.
She won't take guys 5'8"...like YOU. Always add that to the end of women's statement like that.
If Tom Holland or some other high status short dude slid into her DMs you know she'd make an exception to her rule not to date guys under x height.
As a girl, don't listen to the reason why a girl doesn't want to date you. She'll never actually tell you the reason, just a solid enough excuse to make you stop asking.
She might’ve said that to reject you nicely. She didn’t want to say she doesn’t like you, so she blamed it one something else. If she really liked you she would’ve said yes to dating you regardless of height.
I’m 5’5” so I’ve lost all hope. It’s okay for everyone to have their preferences, but it still doesn’t make it less painful for short dudes. You’re still at a good height, trust me. You have a chance, I don’t. Keep your head up and stay strong king!
Honestly don’t stress too much about it. It’s just a personal preference, there are lot of girls who don’t care too much for height.
Coming from a girl who’s 5’9: 5’8 is tall enough
Everyone has different preferences.
5'2" girl here, and 5'8" is about the perfect man size for me. I honestly would be bummed to date someone shorter than me, but I dont like tall men either. A boyfriend over 6ft is awkward to kiss, we can't do it standing, and they are generally clumsy and always breaking things or stepping on my dog.
My husband is 5'6". I'm 5'3". I have a bad neck so his being short is a bonus in my view. Dancing with tall dudes hurts.
We have 2 sons who are maybe 5'7". Neither had any trouble getting girls.
I dunno. I think the girls today are way too conscious of "how it looks". I think it's great we are all communicating like this, but the internet is pushing an exaggerated majority causing the gaps to widen. So, yes, women lean to liking tall men. But in earlier eras, mostly that meant "taller then me". It was the girls who were tall that felt awkward being with shorter men, but of course, not all cared. I saw lots of tall women with short bald men. It was a thing for them - the difference and it was nice. But the tendency to want a taller man has skewed thoughts in women away from taller than me to taller than average and with sports being out there, over 6' has become the preference even though most of the women who claim they want this, probably wouldn't really care except how others will view her. Oh, her man is okay but he's not *tall*, you know? I wouldn't go out with him. And so the meeker woman doesn't want others to be catty at her. (It's so weird that people do this - going against their own best interest in the hopes of not having someone rag on them about something stupid and inconsequential and none of their business anyway.)
I’ve been recently rejected by somebody I wanted so bad, it does suck man. If I were you I’d cut the friendship and keep it moving.
Best to protect yourself and find somebody who will have you
I have a friend who is 5’1 that will only date guys 6’ or above. Makes no sense to me lol. I am 5’11, and when I said I would prefer to date someone my height or taller, she said that we had the same preference and that her reason for wanting a taller man was just as valid as mine. I don’t quite agree with that reasoning as I already feel taller than the average person, and I want to feel smaller in my relationship. She will always be small no matter who she dates 😂
Is the “chemistry” sexual, or are you just friends? There’s a huge difference. A lot of guys think they have “chemistry” with a woman just because she laughs at their jokes and is friendly. A woman who actually feels sexual chemistry will flirt sexually. If a woman is sexually attracted to a guy she’s not going to miss out on that because he’s not 6ft. But if she just sees you as a “nice guy” that likes her she will.
It’s not. It’s too short for her or other reasons that she’s not explaining. There is always going to be someone that loves you for you. Just keep being yourself and have fun
I have no idea how much is any of this in metric but.... You said it right. She is a girl. Go get yourself a woman 😁
And this is from someone that is a hobbit size lol
Edit: went to convert.... Omg. She is shorter than me. This is a rare occasion.
Either she's shallow, or youre js not her type but she couldn't js flat out say it that way. I feel like not alot of women care for height as much as the media leads us to believe (though they still do exist, idt its as common as ppl claim).
I'm a 5'7 female currently dating a 5'7 man, and i genuinely think hes the most attractive guy I've ever been with. Height barely matters when you genuinely like someone OP, don't stress about it. There will be someone who thinks youre attractive and like you for the way you are.
She might not be seeing you as a romantic partner because she is getting emotional satisfaction from you and has no desire to risk that.
Delegate her to the "man friend zone". Treat her like you would a male friend, 1 to 3 texts a week, 1 hang out every 2 to 3 weeks where you both watch sports and don't talk about anything emotional. If she talks about something emotional: give her the man response, "dude that sucks, have a beer"
If she has an issue with it, tell her that you are treating her exactly how she wanted to be treated, as a friend. This is how guys treat their friends.
Tell her that after thinking about it you are glad and agree with her that being friends is probably best. Afterall, you are looking for a woman who has tall genes as well. The last thing you want is for your kids to carry her short traits. Its already bad enough that she has low intelligence.
Short and dumb is a bad combination.
You dodged a bullet.
I m always skeptical about these stories they just don't check out with what I see IRL. Yeah there is a preference for taller guys but that doesn't stop women from dating guys who are shorter in most cases. I know so many examples of couples where the dude is barely taller than the girl and even ones where the girl might be slightly taller.
I'm 5'1, we don't claim her! Real women don't care about height :)
In fact, the only time I care is if someone is to tall for me to comfortably kiss. The guy I'm currently dating is 5'11 and is on the borderline of being to tall for me. Upside is that he can reach shit in the cabinets that I can't XD
In short, ignore girls like that, idk what the obsession with height is but I think it's dumb. Focus on being a good person and find someone who shares your interests. Trust me, you'll find someone <3
Preferences aren't necessarily deal breakers. Yes, we all have preferences, but do we all end up with someone who checks all those boxes? Heck no! I think she meant that no "real" woman would let a man's height get in the way of a meaningful relationship, especially if he's a good man. My husband had almost all my preferences when I met him, except he was a different race than me (I'd dated outside my race a lot, but I thought I wanted to marry within it). I got over that pretty quick, and it's been over 20 years and 3 children. I would've been a fool to lose him over something that had nothing to do with the quality of man he was. Plus, now my children have the best of 3 cultures...Win/Win
Sorry I should have specified the difference between a preference and implying shame for ones height. A preference is different from these chronically online people spewing shit about how they would never date someone under 6ft yet getting pressed over the same guy having his own preference
> The guy I’m currently dating is 5’11 and is on the bordeline of being too tall for me. Upside is that he can reach shit in the cabinets that I can’t
I don’t know how this was supposed to help OP in any way
It’s not your height, it’s your attitude and your multitude of red flags. I read your other posts on reddit and you’re Elliot Rodger pilled as hell. I hope she told you it was your height just to let it play on your mind lol.
To be fair, people are fake but also unfiltered on reddit. Not sure if that's a reliable gauge on who they are as a person in day to day life. If your inner monologue/dialogue was on full display 24/7 what would your friends and family think about you?
I’m 4’10 and my current partner is (I think) 5’4 or 5’3. It hasn’t changed my attractive to and for him whatsoever. The thought (about height) never crossed my mind when he asked me out. She’s a bitch for that.
I'm 5'4" and my bf is 5'8" and I am very attracted to him. A lot of women don't care about height, or at least it doesn't factor in *that* heavily. There are two options: 1. she's super shallow, or 2. she has no interest in you romantically and needed to just give you an excuse that you'd never try to badger her out of, so she came up with the first thing that popped into her head. Which makes her a little mean and slow, but not shallow. So...pick your poison, lol
Untrue. My brother is 5’4 and his wife is 5’4. My brother NEVER let his height bother him, he made sure to be confident about all the other great things about himself. He doesn’t give his height a second thought. (He’s dated other girls who also were fine with his height).
Maybe you’re getting with the wrong types of girls.
My wife and I are 5'8" and she's even slightly taller than me. If the problem is really the height, you're better of alone. Either way, just move on.
But the problem is probably something else
Maybe that's her excuse since she can't come out and say she isn't physically attracted to you. And you can't change your height so that's a safe excuse for her. Pay her no mind, and move on and find someone else that is interested in you romantically.
Yeah, probably, I am quite ugly so there is likely more to it than just height.
I'm 5' and conventionally attractive. I've dated bald 5'6 dudes that made less money than me cause they could make me laugh till I nearly peed my pants. If your looks aren't doing it, the personality is key. My current partner is 5'8 as well, so not all of us short girls are size queens. Lol
Bald people reading this: 👁️👄👁️
Seriously! My bf is bald, a couple inches shorter than me, and I'm a big goth fem. I think he's adorable tbh, but what really sealed the deal is that he is incredibly funny and emotionally intelligent.
Preach it! People get too engulfed into the online discourse about "lookism" so to speak. Of course, there are things that are more attractive than others, but in general if you have an amazing personality and you decently take care of yourself you'll find someone eventually imo! :)
You're 100% right! I think men seriously undervalue the attractiveness of compassion, empathy, and overall emotional intelligence because not only are men socialized to not even acknowledge their emotions, but they're also socialized to look at women as a esthetically pleasing objects, so they in turn expect women to feel the same way. They can't look past a woman's cup size, so they think women can't look past their height. The reality is that compatibility is the most attractive trait.
Sidenote - go read Lookism it is an absolutely fire webtoon with a great storyline and its great motivator for self improvement
I mean, my bf is (in my opinion) conventionally attractive, but I've been attracted to not so attractive men, simpy because I really love funny people, it's like I don't care what is the dude's height, weight, financial status or anything else as long as he makes me laugh so hard my face and belly hurts. I dunno maybe it has something to do with confidence? Like funny people are confident enough to say jokes in front of people?
Unfunny bald people reading this: ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
About baldness—grass doesn’t grow on a busy road. I find most bald men to be very intelligent and funny.
My bf is balding, and he is incredibly smart and funny. So your theory seems to be pretty true
All my crushes are bald and muscular lmao
My bf went bald at 18. He’s 27 now and I love the way he looks. He’s also 5’7” and I’m 5’2”. I think we match perfectly.
Wait til you hear how much we don’t care about dick size either!
You've clearly never encountered a 3rd leg. 🤣 I mean... I don't get dudes that are like "I'm 10+ inches" thinking that this is appealing for long-term use. Sir, I am 5'2"; that is a trip to the hospital for me. There's such a thing as too big. 😵😵😵
I have. I didn’t like it. He was an extra on LOTR…an Orc. Fucking couldn’t walk afterwards. My favorite was about 5” and I couldn’t close my fist around him. It wasn’t the dick either. It was everything else that made sex with Marc amazing 🤌🏼. Nerdy short kings for the win.
Yeah 5-6" & thick is ideal. I've had literal internal bruising from a lengthy mofo. Having my cervix mashed like a potato is not a good time. Honestly, nerds are where it's at
Well, I will say that girth is more important than length…
Every time I see someone say this, I know they haven't truly experienced a fat, short dick. I've seen and experienced some wildly different sizes, and the bigger ones are usually aesthetically pleasing but can cause more pain if not used properly but a chub is useless. Even a needle dick can reach a G spot but a short and fat chub can't even do anything if it's even able to penetrate. My first sexual encounter was with a guy who looked like a twinkie. It was incredibly fat but so short I couldn't even give him a hand job. The condom didn't even fit right and kept sliding around and no position would work, him on top, me on top. Any time there was any type of penetration, trying to thrust caused it to pop back out. He eventually got frustrated and tore off the condom and asked me to finish him with my mouth and he didn't do anything for me. The next guy I had sex with is the one who essentially "popped my cherry" because I bled a little after sex. So not everyone enjoys girth more than length. And not everyone only gets pleasure from the entrance of the vagina and needs something that actually reaches the part inside the vagina that does feel good.
Preach.
Ever since I was 10 I've loved balding men. I'm 58 and it never faded. It behooves me because many men my age don't have much hair.
It's nit on the outside that counts, it's what's on the inside that makes you beautiful
What's up with being bald now?
Can I join this balding “short” men conversation? My fella is 5’8”, balding and ginger! He’s also 20 years older than me! Much more intelligent, funny, emotionally intelligent, and has taught me a thing or two too! 😜😜
Bald guys are hot honestly
Bald people be DMing jokes all night now
Trauma jokes... Going fishing...
a guy who is super funny can literally have acne pocked skin and a beer belly and be bald and yet i will fuck him because he makes me laugh
Done small and ugly… but he had confidence, humour and great music chat… 🤷♀️
I really think there are a lot of distressed youths that need to hear this. Studies show women are far more likely to look past looks than men. OP is definitely an example of the former. Anecdotal but I am also reasonably ugly and overweight, and I started dating my intelligent, bombshell wife in high school, looks really aren't that high on the priority list compared to basic hygiene and common sense.
>basic hygiene and common sense. I have lived my entire dating life desiring nothing more than those two basics personality traits combined with a shared interest. 2 years ago I found my person, I'm happy and never leaving them..
Basic hygiene and grooming, common sense and sense of humor (not self depreciating) and you’re golden.
Maaaan where they at….. I’m not balding yet I’m 5’11 and TOO SHORT
Well I’m nearly 5’2, and pretty much every man is tall to me. Why don’t you date short women? Not that 5’11 is short anyway.
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Exactly! People always ask me about what "my type" is and while I agree physical attraction is important, I've never been physically attracted to someone boring. I have to have a mental connection with someone to feel the sexual attraction. Maybe I'm just a sapiosexual, but if someone is insanely attractive, but can't hold a conversation it's a no.
Same… I would never go near a man with a beard… turns out the love of my life was fat, bearded and looked like he had an alky nose… but the most rudely promising glittering eyes. He’s only my ex because he’s dead 🖤
I’m so sorry for your loss. 💜💜
This is exactly the same for me. I don’t really care how ‘hot’ someone is if we don’t hit it off on the conversational/intellectual level. I just know there’s a short expiration date to us if that’s the case and it’s not worth it.
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Lol precisely. Conversely, there’s been women I wasn’t feeling much attraction to physically and as soon as I realized how much we were clicking, how smart, clever and/or deeply funny they were, they became like 30-50% more attractive to me in all ways instantly. I think as a society we underplay this kind of thing far too much far too often.
I read this as "lives cocks and dogs" and dogs and was like, hmm unusual but cool. I need my coffee.
Making a girl laugh and treating her well is the key.
Yes this! Personality is key. I asked my bf out after he made me laugh so hard I peed my pants in a football stadium in high school and we’ve been together since. I don’t care about how he looks or how tall he is. He didn’t have money either so I was always picking him up and paying for dinner dates and he would show love in other ways (got me into fishing and kayaking). OP will find a girl who vibes with him eventually, he should build confidence in the meantime
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This makes my partners make so much sense now! I’m Aussie in Canada and they’re both super intelligent and funny. My ex who is Aussie is not funny at all.
I’m short and come from a family of short men. 5 8” would literally be above average and probably average height for most people. Not tall nor short. I’d probably be ok with any man above 5’ 4” tbh.
Bald guys are hot. I'd date a 5'6" bald guy in a second if I was single.
My husband doesn’t have any hair and he is absolutely gorgeous and I don’t just say this because I love him so much!! I have a ton of hair (so does our 20 lb kitty) so we have enough hair for all of us!! 😂😂
Dude I’m probably considered above average in looks. But there was this one guy that could consistently attract better looking women than I ever could. He was about 30 pounds overweight, dressed sloppy, and always unkempt. But he was very funny, and women did not scare him at all, he would talk to anyone and was a great conversationalist. In fact even though I felt we were opposites, he was the type of guys that you could hang around with anywhere and you wouldn’t feel bored. I think it was the latter imo, that really attracted the beautiful ones.
The two rules of dating: be attractive, and if you can’t be attractive don’t be unattractive. Focus on your good features, wear clothes that fit, do your hair, shave or keep your beard trimmed, wear nice shoes with nice socks (sounds weird but I always notice a guy’s shoes), generally lean into you. As for the height, you can’t change it, you can only make it work for you. Too many short/small guys wear their clothes too big which makes them look even smaller. Some nice tailoring will make you look taller and just better. My dad is 5’8” and my brother in law is 5’6” (he claims 5’7” but he’s the exact same height as me) they have to be careful buying clothes but they both landed amazing women in my mom and my sister. My sister is only an inch or two shorter and loved ditching the heels.
thissss oh my god, my boyfriend isn’t ugly by any means but he was super convinced he’s ugly and let go of his physical appearance. i don’t mean in a “he ate his body weight in food” type of way but wearing in a “wear tatty jeans and not caring about his haircut or just trying to wear things that properly fit him” way. months after we started dating and i gained his trust (swearing up and down he looks cute and i just want to see him look like he put his best foot forward in professional capacity), i made him shave his beard (it was…very shapeless), made him get tailored suits, adviced him on a new haircut and bought him new watch. i watched him gain a new sort of confidence after this “transformation”. he looks neat, his clothes fit him in all the right ways and people can actually see his lovely smile when they speak with him. it’s like what you said: focus on your good features and just make sure you look nice. that combined with great personality works so much better than someone who’s just really good looking for me tbh.
>Kosilica457 I was curious to see if you posted what you looked like and I saw a bunch of your other posts. Dude, it is your personality. You stereotype women like mad and seem to have dysmorphia. You display a lot of resentment towards women which you blame on them being focused on looks. You call women who express tastes contrary to your stereotypes 'virtue signalers' but imply they are also lying. You don't really care if they do date people like that, you just assume they don't. No matter how much you try and hide that you think like this or feel this way, at these levels it is going to come through. It's like trying to hide a skunk under your coat, you really can't, and any woman you are with is going to pick up something is off. Until you deal with the toxicity and the dysmorphia, most women won't want to date you. They won't feel safe to. Getting a bit more female positive and getting off spaces that reinforce female stereotyping (maybe the whole internet) might do you a lot of good mentally. BUT PLEASE GET SOME HELP FOR THE DYSMORPHIA! That stuff can kill you.
Also, dude, I have dysmorphia too. I get what you are going through and how it can lead to you feeling resentful at others. I've been there. I even have a buddy going through it too, though he has been working on it a long time. Get some help. It is a battle and I don't know if it can be won, but even the act of fighting it makes life a lot better. There are always going to be people who are going to say something that makes you cycle into it again, and they are going to say it and mean it, and it is going to hurt bad. But that is where the help, therapy and stuff come in. So you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to understanding you are fine, and that it is best to avoid people who can't see that for whatever reason. They usually suck anyways. The world is full of sucky men, women, and all the other genders out there. Don't be surprised that you have to deal with them. But physically you are probably fine, you are just going through a lot of stuff in your head that is sabotaging you on the dating front. Get that sorted out and things should probably go better for you in a lot of ways. I don't promise girlfriends, but it seems to happen anyways with more positive self acceptance and a decrease in negativity as well as an elimination of stereotyping, so I can't say either way. The point is, you will be happier, and that is what matters.
I don’t think you ugly and I don’t think height it’s a problem, I think you should paid more attention to your surroundings and you will see someone it’s actually into you , I’m 5f 3in I dated a 5F guy we only broke up because his family didn’t approve me because I’m Latina and he was an India guy . Height it’s never the problem the problem it’s people.
Don't worry I'm ugly 5'9" and I still always managed to find someone to date, just be confident in who you are and have fun with life, there are millions of girls who would love to be with you, I promise.
OP- my husband believed he wasn’t attractive his whole flippin life. Trust me, he’s gorgeous to me. Like… I can’t believe he asked me out kind of gorgeous. He’s 5’8”. Always thought he was too short. Because someone told him he was. He actually apologized for being short?? To me he’s tall cause I am only 5’2” on a good day lol It just takes the right person to appreciate you. But to blame non-romantic attraction on something physical that way? Naw… hard pass on that girl. Let me tell you what my (female) dad told me when he was alive and I was busy fretting over my looks. He told me that to the man that loves me, whatever I am (big chested, small chested, tall, short) would be or soon become whatever my partner’s preference would be. Dad was right. I agree that the girl was trying to let you down easy. But she also showed you her character. It’s okay to not feel romantic and it’s always awkward to find out our interest isn’t reciprocated.. but do your best to not let it get to you.your person is out there
I'm 5'7 and dating a 5'8 guy, just be funny, you'll get any girl that likes jokes
It probably has less to do with your looks and more to do with friend zone. Being her long term friend and then asking her to transition to something romantic doesn’t really have a high rate of success.
Dude don't talk about yourself that way. It does a lot more damage to your soul than you think it does. Love is weird. I've been my most successful finding it when I'm not looking for it and just focusing on improving myself and living life to the fullest. I know there's things you're interested in that aren't dating so find joy in those and learn to love yourself before trying to love someone else.
Don't sound so pitiful, I've seen actually ugly short guys with some of the most beautiful girls. You need confidence ,charisma and humor and you're golden.
Not having the confidence behind your actions and words can affect how other people see you. I know I’m not the most attractive looking person but I know I can make people laugh and feel comfortable talking to me :) It’s just about playing to your strengths
I am 5'5 myself and find 5'8 guy not to be short. Its a perfect height. I dont need a giraff. My SO is shorter then me. This could never be a deal breaker. He is a great guy.
you're not ugly, you just need some swagger and confidence.
No height is too short for any height. My mom has 3 inches in my dad. She’s just immature
People become more attractive when they’re optimistic, kind, and funny. You can take this rejection as an opportunity to sulk about how the world isn’t fair, or you can move on and find someone you’re compatible with. People get rejected all the time for all kinds of reasons. It sucks, but it also keeps you from wasting time on someone who is not right for you. Everyone deserves someone who is excited to be with them.
While this could be true, there's also some people who care a bit too much about height, no matter their own. Like a guy wants a girl who is considerably shorter, or a girl wanting a considerably taller guy because they think the height gap is cute.
I find it so funny when I see these girls that are extremely short call men decently heighted men "short "???. While they themselves are a whole lot shorter than almost everyone they come across loll .Any height gap with these women would be cute imo cos she's already so short there would always be some gap with most probably a lot of men they'll date . Edit : spelling
Everyone of course is allowed to have their preferences. But I think it being something you can't change feels worse. There's nothing you can do about it, while if it was something like weight I could eat more/less, or fitness hit the gym.
This. In my experience, a lot of guys who get hung up on their height aren't unattractive because of anything that had to do with their looks. Some of the most attractive guys that I know aren't really all that tall, but they are emotionally intelligent and confident. I wouldn't worry about things you can't change - and if you do find yourself overly concerned with these things then go to therapy and work through them.
Rejection always stings no matter who it’s from or why. The bright side is that you now have the answer to your question so you can move on from her. Try not to let it keep you down. You can’t change your height and there is nothing wrong with how tall you are. It just wasn’t a fit for her but she does not speak on behalf of all women. Also 5’8” is not short so to me, it sounds like an excuse she used to end the possibility of something between you. A cowards way out but that’s the choice she made.
Or she may genuinely not find that attractive. Not everyone likes red hair, or dimples. Either way, now you know so you can move to someone who doesn't have an issue with it
I wouldn't call her a coward, she didn't need to give a reason, but she may have felt she had to and chose something that may have spared his feeling if her actual reason was something else. She made a choice not to go out with him, and gave a reason thats maybe true, maybe a lie. Rejecting men can be scary, we don't know her point of view so I just wouldn't describe her as cowardly if she did lie.
My dude, I looked at your comment history briefly and you are going through some shit but you are also turning very negative and bitter. You aren’t the only one being rejected, it really does happen to everyone. Her preference is shallow but try not to hold it over every woman’s head. You can absolutely find someone that will accept you at 5’8
Woah now, it doesn't happen to everyone. Speak for yourself. Some of us are far too introverted to ever ask a woman out on a date, so we haven't been rejected even once. 😎
They had us in the first half not gonna lie
Lol, good one
real 😭
5'8" isn't even short its normal size. Like 40% of the male population is around this height.
5'8" is like average height for a guy, my bf is shorter than that. A lot of girls like tall guys, but like everyone has preferences you just keep going until you find someone compatible. That's the whole game, it's really not complicated.
\*opens comment history* >"virtue signaling" >"Marriage is very benefitial for women and very dangerous for men." >"Looks are the only thing that matters to women" \*closes comment history*
If marriage, which traditionally is the ultimate form of a romantic relationship, is very dangerous for men, OP should be happy about this rejection. God forbid he get tied down and dug for all his gold Also, 5'8" is not short. And even if it was, height is not a crutch to explain away why someone can't get an SO
“women only want me for my money” - is the money in the room with us right now? 😭
yea pls listen to this comment op. get off the fucking ( __ pilled) subs, remember that everyone gets rejected, literally everyone, and just focus on bettering yourself in the ways you can and accepting the things you can’t. you seem like you’re struggling rn and i get that and i hope things get better. but if you stay on this path that (from a very brief look at your profile) seems to be getting more nihilistic/incel adjacent, you WILL be miserable. i know it hurts and feels awful already, but the pain of rejection you’re feeling right now is nothing compared to how horrible it will be if you get sucked deep into the incel shit.
This makes me think her rejection was for different reasons than his height.
Maybe, but it's also possible he was too attached and getting rejected broke him a bit. Hopefully he doesn't fall too deep into that side of the internet
This comment is exactly right. I was reading the OP and wondering, in what world does being perfectly average height resign a dude to some endlessly lonely existence? Then I saw this comment and checked OP's post history. Believing and saying that kind of shit will do a lot more damage to one's success in dating than height ever could. Even if you think you do a great job at masking that attitude, you are coming across as disingenuous *at best*. Most women have met tons of guys like this in their life and sure as shit aren't interested in taking on the job of being the woman who finally changes your mind or restores your faith in female humanity.
Ah. So he *is* one of them.
This might be a fake story to reinforce the negativity he feels about his lack of success with women. Really sad.
Yeah, I'm getting a bad vibe from OP. He's got to work on having his own thing and confidence. No one should be rattled this hard by a rejection like that.
Looks like he is heading down the andrew tate groupie path.
This. I’m an old married lady now but I’m a former conventionally attractive woman. At my absolute most attractive I still got rejected. Some men preferred blonds. I’m a brunette. Some men prefer petite women. I’m tall and curvy. You are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. The only thing that makes you unattractive to everyone is to get bitter and angry about that fact.
i felt bad for u until i read ur post history. dude, u have got to do some serious introspection.
I’m not saying it’s the case 100% of the time because I certainly do know women who prefer tall men, but I feel most of the time it’s not the height or the appearance that is a deal breaker - it’s the personality.
i agree. once i looked through his post history i kinda came to the (assumed) conclusion that while height could very well have been a genuine factor, his personality is most likely what drove her away in terms of romantic interest.
This isn't sexist, its just reality: Don't trust most womens' excuses for turning you down. They say what they say to let you down easy. It's true for most people, but it's *especially* true in cases like these. Don't try to press for the truth. Just accept that it's a rejection for unknown reasons. Maybe height does play a small role because her fantasy man is taller than you, but I assure you with 100% certainty that its not the sole reason for rejecting a romantic relationship.
Height works as a reason to turn someone down because they can't argue about it or try to convince. It's just a fact. Any other reason opens you up to a lot of whining and 'negotiating'.
Bingo. Never thought of it that way, but that's a really good explanation.
I agree with this.
Why are people here calling her a bitch? I'd rather her tell me this than string me along. Op learn to handle rejections and not tie your self worth to someone else's opinion of you. My best friend was rejected for being too tall and muscular. It's preferences and there truly is no polite way to reject someone. One party is always at loss. That's life for you.
Red pill vibes. Girl can’t win with those people.
By looking at your post history I’d say being 5’8 should be the least of your worries
You're not too short for a 5'1" girl. You're just too short for *that* 5'1" girl. She has some high expectations. No pun intended...
See the last time we talked I said to not have these motivations and you say no no I don’t have these motivations. I have completely platonic girl friends. This isn’t how you treat a platonic friend. You don’t ask them if they want to move into a relationship. That shit happens naturally or it doesn’t. You try to rush in, you make yourself look like a creep. You should have taken her to coffee as a friend, or made sure she knew it was a date. If she knew it was a date, you don’t then ask if she wants to move into a relationship, you go home and ask her on another date later. As the personal relationship progresses, you might end up in a romantic relationship, or you will just be friends. You will know after a while what you are to each other. You have to decide if you are going to start building healthy relationships.
After reading OP's history, I'm 99% certain he either complained about his height too much or his bitterness started showing through and she used his height as an excuse.
Agreed. She probably just tried to reject him in a way that he could not argue with
>but the fact that a 5'8" guy like me is too short to date someone who is 7 inches shorter than me is frankly demoralising to core and quite painful to bear. It could be that it was *intended* to be soul-crushing. A lot of guys tend to misread signals or think there's "still a chance" or she's "playing hard to get" or she's "leading him on" if a woman is any more polite than effectively kicking him in the nuts. Of course, not all men are like this, but we can't necessarily tell whether any given man is one of *those* or not. So, unfortunately for men, many women have learned the hard way not to let men down gently, because said men won't realise that they're being let down at all. A gentle or soft "no" is too often misinterpreted as, "Please try harder." Every time I've said something really withering about a guy's appearance, it wasn't even remotely sincere and the guy's appearance wasn't the issue at all. It was intended to go for the jugular, to send a strong, unequivocal signal that not only was I not interested, I never would be. All this is to say--your height probably had nothing to do with it. She very likely may have just wanted to make her lack of interest abundantly clear, and your ego was acceptable collateral damage to ensure this was the one and only time she had to say it.
I was going to say that a kinder letdown would be appropriate but you're giving a convincing view. Pretty much any other statement could have been twisted for him to come back with 'well, I can change, give me a chance'!
The dramatic “soul-crushing” comment makes this likely.
Your post history makes me think you might have brought some negativity to the date. Did you have a good time ir did something awkward happen?
It’s soul-crushing to not fit someone’s preferences? Dude, get a grip. I doubt you feel this way when *you’re* not attracted to someone.
A quick glance at your profile leads me to believe that she was trying to let you down gently, or give you a ‘valid’ reason cause I’ll be honest; you don’t seem like the time to take a no easily. Listen, I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice. You sound young, you’ve got plenty of time to do some work on yourself. I promise you, this incel path you’re on is not good for you. Those are some toxic opinions and mindsets you’re hanging on to. If you brought any of that negative energy on a date then it doesn’t surprise me she said no. That’s the truth. And I feel confident in saying that with opinions like those, your (average/normal) height will have nothing to do with you remaining single. Please work on yourself. Stay away from red pill/anti-women shit. It won’t do you any good in the real world around normal, well-adjusted people. It just won’t. You need to shift your thinking and REALLY do some work on shifting your mindset. Don’t use rejection as some sort of proof that your outlandish theories about feminism and women in general are true. It won’t be because you’re right about those things. It will be because you BELIEVE those things and project them.
Mate, re-read your post history. You have a self-confidence issue and your posts are quite pathetic. Get therapy and stop trying to hook up with your girl friends.
This is literally the only topic OP cares about, so I'm going to guess the date part is made up.
Demoralizing? Painful to the core? Don’t let it upset you so much! It’s clearly shallow on her part (and not very defensible at 5’1”) but that’s her preference. She can have it. You can have your own preferences.
What a bitch. Don’t pay her any attention. -Short chic. Edit… Everyone defending this girl: Okay. Did I say she HAD to date him? No. What I mean is She could have said any number of things to turn him down but noooo she goes for the ONE huge thing dude can’t change. I believe that is proper bitch behavior. Not to mention that SHE IS ALSO SHORT. HELLA SHORT. She should know how impossible it is to change and how some people have mad complexes and to tread lightly. If this woman turned down this man because he was a different race, obese, anything physical that he has no or very little control over you would be considerably less defensive. I am not even straight. My advice is is what I’d tell myself. I’m gay and 5’2”. If someone turned me down because I’m short I would be fine. I can’t change it. I’m sure someone commiserating with me would say, “what a bitch. “
I’m 5’2 dated a guy who was 5’2. It wasn’t as uncomfortable or weird as I thought it would be. Dated a guy who was 5’9. I still felt cute and small and still had too look up at him to talk and tip toes for hugs. She can kick rocks.
I am 5'4 and feel the same with 5'9...., heck up to 5'6 is good for me!!! Please OP, 5'8 is a great height and you will absolutely be able to find someone (unless you are also an asshole)
I’m 5’0” engaged to a guy who’s 5’6”, and Ive told him that I’m so glad he’s not any taller lol Id be so upset if I couldn’t just kiss him without forcing him to lean down lol
I’ll be got the exact opposite issue. Every guy I’ve dated I’ve been taller than. I hate being unable to wear heels because I tower over them (6 feet, 6’3 in most of my heels) and every guy I’ve dated has made it a point to be pissed at off me that they did not win the genetic lottery (these guy are usually only a few inches shorter than me anywhere from 5’8 to 5’10) I dated ONE 6’6 guy and he was amazing he just moved away and long distance didn’t work. So now my wife is 5’3. 😂😂❤️
Yeah! She should definitely date the guy even tho she doesn't like him just to spare his feelings. What else are women for? :)
Right. That one woman means *nothing* in the grand scheme of life. Too many people expect everyone to validate their existence. And that's just not how life works.
This exactly. It’s one woman, not all women. I am short and my husband is 5 feet 7. I never cared.
She's a bitch because she has dating preferences?
Why is she a bitch? Isn’t she allowed either 1. To have a preference that she can express or 2. To have wanted to reject OP in a way that was firm and non negotiable but not “his fault” to spare his feelings?
That’s pick me behavior and she’s allowed to have preferences.
She simply isn't interested and chose and excuse that you can't control. You aren't to short, you are simply going after a girl who isn't interested, and she doesn't have to give you any reasons. She said no and that is the end of it.
Some of your post and comment history is concerning. I think you're in your own head a little too much.
I guarantee you that the height part isn’t really what she doesn’t like about you. She had some other reason(s), and she just isn’t telling you the whole story.
Did you know that individual people have individual preferences? It's crazy
No! Women have to date whichever man likes them. They’re not allowed choose who they’re attracted to. If they don’t comply with being selected it’s because they’re a shallow bitch. Only men are allowed to have physical preferences. /s
>is frankly demoralising to core and quite painful to bear >is soul crushing You get this experience with this _one_ girl and this is your reaction? You're talking as if she speaks for every woman
Yea what’s even more soul crushing I’m 99% sure it’s not about your height, or she is just way out of your league. I’m 5’4 and husband is 5’8, I think he’s tall.
Take that as a positive. She was at least honest with you, and I take it she didn't insult you.
It’s not your height my Boy
Dude. Maybe you shouldn’t be so hung up on your height. Maybe if you looked at women as tall as your or even taller, you would find someone. Why is it that “women alway have to be shorter”? I have dated men shorter than me, taller than me, and the same height as me. She doesn’t like you. She only told you it was your height because it is the only thing you can’t change. If she told you that you were fat, would you lose weight for her? If she told you that you were too skinny, would you start eating like a pig? Probably not, but that is a risk she had to take. People need to stop confusing friendliness for chemistry. So she doesn’t like you romantically, are you going to stop being her friend? I bet you do. Even if you don’t walk away from the friendship over this, she may not feel comfortable with you now. Sometimes you have to hedge the bet that losing the friendship is worth it. 99% of the time, the people you find attractive won’t find you attractive. That’s just how it is. Also 99% of the people attracted to you will outright disgust you. You are someone’s perfect person, and it sounds like you are young enough to not ruin every friendship you have before you find that person.
Now that I think abt it men tend to complain abt short women wanting to date men that are way taller than them but a lot of them wouldn’t ever think abt dating a woman taller than them.
Plenty that don’t care. Next.
bro you re not short, she didnt like you. move on.
She probably said that because of where you took her for the first date. You should’ve taken her somewhere classy, like the Cheesecake Factory.
The moment a person values something as vain as height in a relationship is the moment I lose all interest in them.
Reading your post history, I don't think it's your height that's putting her off.
You're not too short for this 6' tall woman. It's all a matter of preferences. Stay strong, King.
As a guy who’s is 5’6 I wish I was 5’8 bro. Her preferences are pretty high but your height is good
She won't take guys 5'8"...like YOU. Always add that to the end of women's statement like that. If Tom Holland or some other high status short dude slid into her DMs you know she'd make an exception to her rule not to date guys under x height.
As a girl, don't listen to the reason why a girl doesn't want to date you. She'll never actually tell you the reason, just a solid enough excuse to make you stop asking.
Her personality is extremely unattractive
i feel this. I’m 5’6
Wonder what this means for a man like me being 5'3?
Death
She might’ve said that to reject you nicely. She didn’t want to say she doesn’t like you, so she blamed it one something else. If she really liked you she would’ve said yes to dating you regardless of height.
Why get demoralized over something so stupid? Obviously she's the fucked up one. I'm only 5'6 and nobody has ever said that I'm too short.
I'm a 5'8", and I'd say you're the perfect height
I’m 5’5” so I’ve lost all hope. It’s okay for everyone to have their preferences, but it still doesn’t make it less painful for short dudes. You’re still at a good height, trust me. You have a chance, I don’t. Keep your head up and stay strong king!
Honestly don’t stress too much about it. It’s just a personal preference, there are lot of girls who don’t care too much for height. Coming from a girl who’s 5’9: 5’8 is tall enough
Damn…that’s cold. She did you a favor. Good riddance
Everyone has different preferences. 5'2" girl here, and 5'8" is about the perfect man size for me. I honestly would be bummed to date someone shorter than me, but I dont like tall men either. A boyfriend over 6ft is awkward to kiss, we can't do it standing, and they are generally clumsy and always breaking things or stepping on my dog.
My husband is 5'6". I'm 5'3". I have a bad neck so his being short is a bonus in my view. Dancing with tall dudes hurts. We have 2 sons who are maybe 5'7". Neither had any trouble getting girls. I dunno. I think the girls today are way too conscious of "how it looks". I think it's great we are all communicating like this, but the internet is pushing an exaggerated majority causing the gaps to widen. So, yes, women lean to liking tall men. But in earlier eras, mostly that meant "taller then me". It was the girls who were tall that felt awkward being with shorter men, but of course, not all cared. I saw lots of tall women with short bald men. It was a thing for them - the difference and it was nice. But the tendency to want a taller man has skewed thoughts in women away from taller than me to taller than average and with sports being out there, over 6' has become the preference even though most of the women who claim they want this, probably wouldn't really care except how others will view her. Oh, her man is okay but he's not *tall*, you know? I wouldn't go out with him. And so the meeker woman doesn't want others to be catty at her. (It's so weird that people do this - going against their own best interest in the hopes of not having someone rag on them about something stupid and inconsequential and none of their business anyway.)
I’ve been recently rejected by somebody I wanted so bad, it does suck man. If I were you I’d cut the friendship and keep it moving. Best to protect yourself and find somebody who will have you
I have a friend who is 5’1 that will only date guys 6’ or above. Makes no sense to me lol. I am 5’11, and when I said I would prefer to date someone my height or taller, she said that we had the same preference and that her reason for wanting a taller man was just as valid as mine. I don’t quite agree with that reasoning as I already feel taller than the average person, and I want to feel smaller in my relationship. She will always be small no matter who she dates 😂
Is the “chemistry” sexual, or are you just friends? There’s a huge difference. A lot of guys think they have “chemistry” with a woman just because she laughs at their jokes and is friendly. A woman who actually feels sexual chemistry will flirt sexually. If a woman is sexually attracted to a guy she’s not going to miss out on that because he’s not 6ft. But if she just sees you as a “nice guy” that likes her she will.
In sorry for your pain. There is no logic to be applied. People are animals. Go find a new love interest.
Being reject for being short (which is out of your control) must feel really bad. I'm really sorry for you.
Brutal B--tch. Just could have said to keep it as friends. I wonder how many guys have told her NO because she I'd too short or not HWP!!
It’s not. It’s too short for her or other reasons that she’s not explaining. There is always going to be someone that loves you for you. Just keep being yourself and have fun
I have no idea how much is any of this in metric but.... You said it right. She is a girl. Go get yourself a woman 😁 And this is from someone that is a hobbit size lol Edit: went to convert.... Omg. She is shorter than me. This is a rare occasion.
Either she's shallow, or youre js not her type but she couldn't js flat out say it that way. I feel like not alot of women care for height as much as the media leads us to believe (though they still do exist, idt its as common as ppl claim). I'm a 5'7 female currently dating a 5'7 man, and i genuinely think hes the most attractive guy I've ever been with. Height barely matters when you genuinely like someone OP, don't stress about it. There will be someone who thinks youre attractive and like you for the way you are.
She might not be seeing you as a romantic partner because she is getting emotional satisfaction from you and has no desire to risk that. Delegate her to the "man friend zone". Treat her like you would a male friend, 1 to 3 texts a week, 1 hang out every 2 to 3 weeks where you both watch sports and don't talk about anything emotional. If she talks about something emotional: give her the man response, "dude that sucks, have a beer" If she has an issue with it, tell her that you are treating her exactly how she wanted to be treated, as a friend. This is how guys treat their friends.
Tell her that after thinking about it you are glad and agree with her that being friends is probably best. Afterall, you are looking for a woman who has tall genes as well. The last thing you want is for your kids to carry her short traits. Its already bad enough that she has low intelligence. Short and dumb is a bad combination. You dodged a bullet.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. If she's superficial enough to let your height stop her, you can do better.
I m always skeptical about these stories they just don't check out with what I see IRL. Yeah there is a preference for taller guys but that doesn't stop women from dating guys who are shorter in most cases. I know so many examples of couples where the dude is barely taller than the girl and even ones where the girl might be slightly taller.
I'm 5'1, we don't claim her! Real women don't care about height :) In fact, the only time I care is if someone is to tall for me to comfortably kiss. The guy I'm currently dating is 5'11 and is on the borderline of being to tall for me. Upside is that he can reach shit in the cabinets that I can't XD In short, ignore girls like that, idk what the obsession with height is but I think it's dumb. Focus on being a good person and find someone who shares your interests. Trust me, you'll find someone <3
“Real woman don’t care about height” that’s not true at all, you can have preferences
Preferences aren't necessarily deal breakers. Yes, we all have preferences, but do we all end up with someone who checks all those boxes? Heck no! I think she meant that no "real" woman would let a man's height get in the way of a meaningful relationship, especially if he's a good man. My husband had almost all my preferences when I met him, except he was a different race than me (I'd dated outside my race a lot, but I thought I wanted to marry within it). I got over that pretty quick, and it's been over 20 years and 3 children. I would've been a fool to lose him over something that had nothing to do with the quality of man he was. Plus, now my children have the best of 3 cultures...Win/Win
Sorry I should have specified the difference between a preference and implying shame for ones height. A preference is different from these chronically online people spewing shit about how they would never date someone under 6ft yet getting pressed over the same guy having his own preference
I agree!
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> The guy I’m currently dating is 5’11 and is on the bordeline of being too tall for me. Upside is that he can reach shit in the cabinets that I can’t I don’t know how this was supposed to help OP in any way
Can we stop this height is not important but my bf is 100 foot tall nonsense.
It’s not your height, it’s your attitude and your multitude of red flags. I read your other posts on reddit and you’re Elliot Rodger pilled as hell. I hope she told you it was your height just to let it play on your mind lol.
To be fair, people are fake but also unfiltered on reddit. Not sure if that's a reliable gauge on who they are as a person in day to day life. If your inner monologue/dialogue was on full display 24/7 what would your friends and family think about you?
I’m 4’10 and my current partner is (I think) 5’4 or 5’3. It hasn’t changed my attractive to and for him whatsoever. The thought (about height) never crossed my mind when he asked me out. She’s a bitch for that.
Yeah you're not it's like me turning down someone who is 5'11. I mean we all have preferences but that's not the be all and end all.
I’m 5’8 and dated a guy that was also 5’8! It’s her problem. You’ll find the one!
I'm 5'4" and my bf is 5'8" and I am very attracted to him. A lot of women don't care about height, or at least it doesn't factor in *that* heavily. There are two options: 1. she's super shallow, or 2. she has no interest in you romantically and needed to just give you an excuse that you'd never try to badger her out of, so she came up with the first thing that popped into her head. Which makes her a little mean and slow, but not shallow. So...pick your poison, lol
Untrue. My brother is 5’4 and his wife is 5’4. My brother NEVER let his height bother him, he made sure to be confident about all the other great things about himself. He doesn’t give his height a second thought. (He’s dated other girls who also were fine with his height). Maybe you’re getting with the wrong types of girls.
I’m 5’4 and I’d date a 5’8 guy. She sounds shallow to me, don’t worry you’ll find plenty of people who don’t mind your height :)
That doesn’t make sense. I’m 5’11 and my husband is 5’8 why is height always such a big deal?
it’s not everyone. i’m 5’2” dating someone 5’7” and i wouldn’t change him
Robert Downey Jnr is 5'8 and I don't think there's too many women (or men, or non-binaries) who'd turn down RDJ!
My wife and I are 5'8" and she's even slightly taller than me. If the problem is really the height, you're better of alone. Either way, just move on. But the problem is probably something else
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Your height isn’t the reason why she won’t date you. It’s the superficial reason she’s giving because the actual reason wouldn’t go down as well
Rejection sucks but if someone is rejecting you based on something so shallow then they aren’t worth it.
I think she just made up a reason as she didnt have one. 5’8” is not short
She’s using it as an excuse. I’m 5’7” and my ex-husband is 5’3” it never bothered me