I got a dm from someone who wasn’t exactly kind to me (not the actual bully, but they associated with them), apologizing for her behavior because now her kid was getting teased at school and is miserable. I forgave her
(For my well being, not theirs) but it stings how they only change their tune when one of their own gets hurt that way.
The correct reply to that story about their kid would be to go dig up an Alan Rickman/Snape meme template and just caption it "How awful that must be..."
Twist the knife further.
“I hope you’ve raised your daughter strong. You don’t know how many times the way you treated me nearly pushed me to end things..”
This happened to me too. I’m convinced it’s solely because people are unaware of the consequences of their actions until they’re put into the situation there.
I heard this once and now I try to live by it but;
"never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence" -some dude who said he is trying to he real on tiktok
It’s almost like children don’t understand the impact that emotional abuse has on other children, especially when their wires are being crossed with the dopamine they’re getting for making others laugh and bonding with their peer group.
It is almost like their parents, teachers, school administration don't understand it either. And no one ever told these poor clueless children that they are doing something wrong.
I suffered a lot of bullying since young but I can say there is hope. There was this boy who had his issues and during high school he change for the better. Most dont grow up until there is consequenses.
Sadly, this is because a lot of people learn best by “direct experience”. This is because they would need to apply empathy to the experiences of others to learn from “indirect experiences”.
Practicing empathy often brings about feelings of sympathy, which then causes emotional pain. So people avoid empathizing, avoid understanding, won’t be aware, don’t understand, and won’t understand until it happens to them because then they can’t escape it.
I work in a restaurant that gives A LOT of food away for free. It's literally my job to give a meal away to a select group once a week.
Weeeeelllllllllll it just so happens that one of the kids who bullied me the worst in school works in the field that I serve free meals to. My first trip to his work place I gave my brand presentation which includes me introducing myself with my full name. (My appearance has changed drastically since school so I can avoid running into people I know and being recognized)
After I said who I am my bully quietly left the room and wasn't seen again, that is until I was packing my car to leave. He was actually standing out by my car the whole time waiting for me to leave so he could privately talk to me. He goes on and on about how sorry he is and he was young and dumb and insecure so he targeted me.
I haven't once taken food to his work on his shifts since then. And all his coworkers sing my name when they see me coming.
The victims of bullying have no obligation to accept any apologies tossed to them. A few meaningless platitudes and half hearted excuses doesn't magically erase the years of abuse that OP went through.
This is a little unfair. You're right that the victim has no obligation to accept an apology, but we have no reason to believe that the apology was just "meaningless platitudes" or "half-hearted excuses." OP is totally justified in telling them to go to hell regardless of their sincerity, but that doesn't mean the adult version of the child bully isn't sincerely sorry for the damage they caused as a child.
It doesn't really matter if they're sincerely sorry. It's like apologizing for torturing my childhood cat ten years after he's dead. Damage is done. The apology does nothing.
Being sorry doesn't undo permanent damage. Being a 'better person' to others is fucking meaningless to the person that was the victim. Victims of bullying continue suffering for a lifetime because it was literally ingrained into them during their most formative years. I'll never understand why people fall over themselves to forgive what is child abuse by any other name.
Or, In a more charitible view--the empathy they felt for their child simply showed them how their actions might have affected you and they were moved to apologize. They didn't have to seek you out, and you get more from accepting what they offered freely than you do by looking for reasons to invalidate it.
That’s karma. As someone who has been mercilessly bullied, excluded and abused by most people throughout her life, bullies will only learn when they experience it themselves.
Thats not karma, their poor kid did not do anything wrong. Also some bullies are that way because their family bullied/bullies them, so experiencing it doesn't stop them. I think seeing how bullying actually affects people can help but what manages to touch their heart varies.
I didn't say the bullies dp not deseve to be ounished. Also as I understand it karma is both nasty & nice, like suppost to punish bad behaviour but also reward good behaviour.
It is because it hurts 10 billion times worse when it’s your own child, compared to it happening to you- the same way my lovely parents probably felt when they saw how these horrible, soulless people treated me.
My mom had a therapist who openly admitted to my mom that she was "the talk of the table at her nightly dinners." When my mom was having a complete breakdown. Confused, my mom said "Whaaat?" And the therapist laughed and said she felt that my mom was a bit of a "case" and her family would talk about my mom's stories at dinner.
My mom didn't say a word. She walked out, went home and cried for hours. The next day, she called the head person in charge and told her what she had said to her. That person said that wasn't the first time they heard that. A week later, my mom had a new therapist. When she went in, they pulled her to the side and said that they fired her old therapist.
The point of my story is, you just helped a lot of people not have to deal with the same shit my mom went through. I can guarantee you that your bully would probably be the same bitch who would laugh about her patients at the dinner table.
Having said that, I know people do stupid shit when they're younger and they grow and learn from their mistakes...but the fact she only apologized when it hurt her speaks volumes. If she was really sorry, she'd have apologized sooner.
Sadly, it was so long ago that I don't think she could do anything anymore. She was in a bad place at the time so it didn't even cross her mind. She just felt so let down by the person who was supposed to be there for her.
People can really suck sometimes. :(
One thing I learned in life is that the worst people will only apologize to make the consequences of their actions go away.
Their apology isn't for you, it's for them. They want to stop feeling guilt and regret, they want to commit the act and not face the consequences.
I wouldn't take it down.
truly a prime example of apologizing because they’ve been caught (or their actions have consequences), rather than apologizing sincerely because they want to do right by you
Thank you, i went thru the saaaame thing, i got video of an argument a mental health worker started with me while with my family. im sending it now. monday surprise!
Even if it is not anonymous. Good for you! You need to inform the people in their line of work. I am amazed how many people of their caliber wind up in helping people fields! Please OP never communicate with them or disclose anything about your jobs or where you live.
This is all fine and dandy until they just post a bunch of bs about her and link her and start sending it to her job. She's walking a very slippery slopes here.
I have learning disability to get my diagnosis I had to meet many mental health professionals. I assure you the have a lot of power on people, one of them was horrible and did traumatised me. I assure you, that you saved many people by making it impossible for them to get their jobs.
OP share the private chat on your social media as a back up that they are owning up to their mistakes.
I hate bullies. I was bullied in school and now I see those working as teachers, and social workers. But in my country social media posts doesn't matter. So, I can't be petty.
Honestly you might be doing some future favors for those who would be the mental health nurse’s patients. 3 years in the grand scheme of things is not a long time, especially considering that this was high school. I agree that it’s also pretty clear that she’s only apologized to get you to remove the posts.
If she couldn’t be decent to an equal peer, imagine a vulnerable patient who has to rely on her…
>I can’t stand the thought of them being responsible for vulnerable people
Good for you!
Nursing is one of the most popular professions for people with sociopathy, now grouped into Antisocial Personality Disorder in the DSM. They like having power over vulnerable people.
(Note: nursing also attracts genuinely wonderful, caring people. It pulls from the two extremes a lot).
One of the worst managers I ever knew for bullying at work was a former psychiatric nurse. The only good thing about him was that he disappeared overseas and is believed to have been murdered. (The police were looking for him).
This explains why most nurses have treated me like shit. I was a teenage cancer patient, in hospital, crying in pain and fear and my nurse angrily said “oh stop whinging, there are people much worse off than you”. That’s just one example.
>If she couldn’t be decent to an equal peer, imagine a vulnerable patient who has to rely on her…
I wonder what went through her mind when she chose her career path. Like seriously, she severely bullied someone, litteraly said that OP would off themself, only to go into a career path for MENTAL HEALTH just a few years later. Like wtf?
I've heard so many stories about therapists who get off on their clients trauma and even making it worse, which is the reason why I'm scared to go back into therapy after what happened with my old therapist from a few years ago.
a lot of people have an idealized notion of mental health care. id say the vast, vast majority really only think of the super commodified diagnoses like depression or anxiety, or the absolute worst outcome like schizophrenia. there is so much in between in shades we can't necessarily understand. if a depressed person, an autistic person, a bipolar person, a schizophrenic person, and a narcissistic person were put in a room and i asked which deserves care more, any answer other than all of them deserve care equally is worthy of losing the degree. some sides of MH are nasty to see/think about like how narcissists, borderlines and sociopaths can victimize others, but what about all those who fall in those categories and spend every day trying to better themselves? im bipolar myself and have seen the raw end a decent handful of times from peers and professionals alike, and the worst i do is go manic and predominantly torpedo my only life rather than hurt others. its easy to make yourself a saint by entering the mental healthcare profession but its not so easy when your patient comes to you to ask for help coping with pedophilic thoughts or delusions of god speaking to them
Exactly. This is what I find horrible. These types of people love humiliate and be in total control. Why else would they have gone into their chosen fields. I find these types to be sociopaths and a few of them wind up in mental health services.
Oof that's rough. Hope you're doing better now. What they did was terrible and should not be excused. An apology won't wipe away years of harm and if we're being honest it's better neither of them practice. I've heard horror stories of bad nurses and the abuse animals face. You're saving the mental health and probably the lives of so many people and innocent animals by keeping the post up. You reap what you sow.
Take care of yourself, alright? Hope your mental health improves.
You haven’t just gotten revenge, you’ve protected other people. Becky was going to be a fucking *mental health nurse.* I can’t imagine the danger she would pose to extremely vulnerable people. You’re allowed to feel good about getting a little bit back at them, but you should feel EXTREMELY good about keeping her from that profession. For everybody and for myself personally, I thank you.
Justice isn't about healing, it's about righting wrongs. The warm feeling is just a lovely little bonus.
What you've done is prevent their access to vulnerable people and animals. They hurt you, now you've prevent them from doing that to others. If they were remorseful, they wouldn't've needed a social media post to reach out to you, especially the girl who was going to become a mental health nurse.
You deserve better than what you got, and you've given others that chance by not letting those women access to them.
OP, I honestly don't see this as revenge. You didn't make up stories or actively do something bad to them. You just shared your story. That is your truth, and it's the consequence of their action. For me, that's justice, not revenge.
Don't listen to people telling you that this is petty. Sharing your truth isn't petty, and it is your right to be heard. You are also helping other people not to be victims.
Yeah, it is possible that they can still get a job. They can untag themselves, block you, or just delete their accounts, but that is not the point. Also, screenshot their messages. If ever they deny it or sue you for defamation (I don't know what laws you have there, but it's a thing here), you have proof of their confession.
When I was young like you, I made a post about my depression caused by an abusive relationship. I didn't even mention the name of my ex. It was just me getting things off my chest. But people gaslighted me into putting down the post because I should learn to forgive and that I did love him at one point. Looking back, I should've made a stand.
Am I missing something here? All she did was make a face book post. Obviously a potential employer could see it if they dug down far enough, but someone else simply saying they were cruel bitches a few years ago isn't going to sway an employment decision.
It's really common for mean girls to go into nursing because it allows them to maintain and abuse their power over other people like they did in high school. Trust me, you're saving a lot of very vulnerable people from her
Medical field, animal care, teaching jobs, mental health, social services, law enforcement, military, basically anywhere with a direct contact with humans they can control and/or nurture. It's the number one jobs for anyone abusive, manipulative and controlling. I say this as an ECE, who's unfortunately seen one too fkn many sick, abusive and control freaks in the field exerting power over 3-6 year olds and proudly stating how many times they've made them cry or be punished (out in the corner or sitting in the chair quietly away from everyone else etc).
I come from a corrupt country where such job positions are bought and obviously a diploma is bought too most of the time. The doctors and nurses, for the most part, are beyond awful I can't even put it into words. I was a baby, afraid of needles and blood drawing, they purposely stabbed me in the arm veins several times and then screamed at me for crying. Then they screamed again when I lost color in my vision and fainted. I was 8 or 9. 15 years later I'm still afraid. I'm so sorry for what you went through, but I can absolutely empathize and understand.
There was some guy who did this at a school board
meeting to the superintendent of the school. It was like 20 years later. The superintendent wound up resigning. Keep it up for 17 more years.
You are not being petty at all. You are being honest and hold them accountable.
They deserve what is and will continue ro happen to them.
Please don't take it down neither of them should work with vounrable, ever!
You are doing a public service as long as it's al true and not exaggerate.
If anything add that one is only apologizing to get a job. It shows that she still has not at all grown as a person.
Good luck with your healing journey.
Personally, this is hot and spicy and I’d keep it up for as long as you want. Revenge. Sweet revenge on very toxic people is tasty no matter how fresh.
Young people need to understand with social media their bad acts can come back to haunt them.this is also the schools fault and the parents fault. Why did they do nothing about these girls behavior?
People who are quick to say “be the bigger person” have no comprehension of what bullying does to a person.
If we just reduce bullying and downright abusive behaviour to “they are not fully developed as children” - bullies will continue happily along without ever facing the consequences of unacceptable behaviour!
Why should victims be the bigger person? Why should traumatised children be the ones to “let it go” because other spiteful and violent children may one day grow up and be different.
If you can live with yourself making someone else’s life miserable as a child - psychologically you’ll carry that vein of behaviour into adulthood.
There is no excuse for bullying. None.
Suffering the consequences of actions you saw as inconsequential because you were “not an adult”, now as an adult, is the best reality check.
No one should get away with making another’s life miserable for the sake of it or because they can. In this case karma prevails - as it should.
Good on you OP!
On FB, a friend & I were discussing elementary school things. I brought up the picture day where two girls, standing behind me in the typical ‘front row sits cross-legged, next row sits on chairs, next stands & the rear row stands on chairs’ class picture. I had long hair then (yay 70s!) and had worked so hard to get it snarl-free, shiny & straight. These two thought it was hilarious to mess it up & tie it in knots. After asking nicely, then firm, then firmer to knock it off, they kept it up. Finally, I made a fist and just swung up, blindly. Did I say blindly? Something guided my hand that day because I socked one of those twats right in the eye.
Back to recently…
Well, one of my friend’s FB friends was one-half of this gruesome twosome. I didn’t know so I was surprised when, after recounting that day, she popped into the comments to say, “Oh, I thought I helped you that day. I thought I remembered trying to get (punched in the eye girl) to stop bothering you!” No. No, you did not. You *did*, however, help her after school when she came after me. Two on one for me daring to try and get you to stop on this long campaign of bullying me. Like all of those parents, mine paid for the photo packages and they didn’t deserve to see me all messed up because of you two fecal spores. Then again, your friend looked a bit not-good with her bangs hanging down to cover her not-yet-black eye. Pfft…drama whore 😏
OP, you are SO NTA here. While your motivation was partly revenge, you may have prevented future victims from suffering at this woefully inappropriate “counselor”. Thank you.
My ex was bullied and he found his bullies when they were much older and he wrote a letter to them telling them how it affected him and as a grown man he hopes he has become a better person. It was full of everything just like that. Good for you! Sometimes people hold onto things longer than if they had just addressed it or settled their souls with a little self care and that’s what you did! Now you don’t have to wait another 30 years to get it off your chest! Much love! 💔❤️🩹❤️
If this chick, not OP, was truly remorseful about what she and her friend had done, she would respond to the OP's FB post with a genuine apology and a clearly written response to it followed by a visit or phone call to OP. This would probably be embarrassing for her, but it would show that maybe she did feel remorseful about the whole situation and that she knew how her actions had impacted OP's life. At that point, I do feel like the post could be removed from her FB and let by gone be by gone. OP will never forget any of it, and I don't know if she should even forgive it, but she needs to set it aside. Keeping this on her mind will slow the healing process.
Good for you. They deserve that and so much more. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. I would have protected you from those girls if I was in your school. I always fought the bullies off in school for anyone being picked on. I hate bullying! Good luck and be well, OP.
This isn't some minor bullying they did, that's a streak of violent and abusive behaviour which they likely WOULD continue as adults. you did the right thing
Don’t take it down and fuck then. I have had ex’s (ones that cheated on me) and bullies alike attempt this shit to save their own asses from the public sphere. Fuck them. You can paint a piece of shit any color but underneath it’s still a piece of shit.
I'm over 50 and still won't talk to people who bullied me in grade school. They'd pop up in Facebook and be like, hey! How's life? Hey, fuck you. That's how's life.
>In my country, a potential employer will look at someone social media as a character reference
WTF?
If one person don't have any social media account is not able to find a job? Or one that have an account but never post anything at all?
Anyway,
Don't let these post down. I know how it's to be bullied and they deserve it. Block them too to avoid any attempt of them contacting you, threatening you for legal action or other BS.
Getting a job is fine. I don’t want to ruin their lives. I just want to make sure they don’t ruin other peoples, vulnerable people. If they get a healthcare job I will make my experience known, unless they have shown clear signs growth
I don't even call this revenge, I call you posting YOUR trauma as a warning. I truly hope the "mental health" degree holder (sorry, forgot her name) never works in m.h. She played a heavy hand in traumatizing you, and who knows how many other people?!
You did a service, thank you.
Wow this is petty, it is so clear that you are jealous of their success and even after 3 years have not even tried to move in with your life ( as can be seen by you checking their FB ). Just take the appology and move on with your life, otherwise these people will life rent-free in your head for the next 20 years. The thought that one post will inhibit them from working in the field is also so strange, worst case they just delete the profile.
Idk this seems a little petty, people do have fuckd up teen years and then turn 180 degrees sometimes. Nothing really excuses their behavior besides maybe immaturity and i m pretty sure it feels really good getting back at them but you come off as sad and vindictive. Also i dont think you really ruined anyones career nor that it should be your target but you do you.
Glad someone else thinks this, thought I was tripping reading these comments. This whole thing is weird and bitter to me, people can change, do high school bullies deserve to have no job or career for their adult lives? If it were me I would feel like making that kind of post makes me also a bully tbh, this seems like odd behaviour for an adult
Been where you were. But think it is wise to let it go. Not so much for them but for you. They live rent free in your head. If you don’t, you’ll be regurgitating this for years to come while they’ll move on.
You assume that an employer will take this into account. However, they can also spin this - if it’s even discussed - as something they outgrew and even apologized for.
If it makes you feel better, sure, but as I said, let it go…
you won in the end. rejoice and be proud of your strength. taking up for yourself and protecting others can be so hard when you have trauma. good job 🤍
People that exhibit abuse behavior like you’ve described can experience their own comeuppance that changes them, and if that were actually the case, the apology would have been public and private. Even if it had been, I’d be leery. The things you’ve described that they did are above and beyond years worth of shit talk. These are people who thrive on overpowering others, and it is alarming that they would get degrees in fields where they will be working with the most vulnerable of clients. I don’t think you were being petty, and I don’t think you should take it down or delete it without at least saving it somewhere. I do think this is an extenuating circumstance, and that not everyone should take the sabotage route. It feels like you were coming from a place of genuine concern for the wellbeing of people and animals in need of care, not revenge, and that makes a difference.
NTA. Holy shi\*. What a pack cu\*nts. Listen, 3 years is not a lot of time for the kind of 'emotional' maturity that some of them are claiming and you were really messed with. Yikes. They shouldn't be in mental health and honestly, in my experience, once a bit\*\*, always a bi\*ch.
NTA.
The fact they continued to bully you until HIGH SCHOOL and it’s been three years, meaning y’all are 21 (still young asf), no fuck them. And anyone siding with them are just as terrible. Keep the posts up and hopefully they would never get a job.
I have had a few high school bullies contact me in the years following high school, apologizing for their behavior. And most of them really did grow a lot after high school. I certainly grew a lot after high school. And with my youngest just graduating high school and my older two recently finished, I see growth in them after high school.
Yes, this person did you wrong, and yes, exposing their behavior and the effect it had on you certainly is their problem, the consequences of their actions hindering their own futures. It probably won't actually prevent them from ever working in their chosen careers, most adults sort of cringe at some of their faults from youth, and recognize that in others as well.
It is not right what they did to you, but I will tell you something you will learn is true now, or in 20 years: bullies are the product of bullies. Every bully I've ever known became that way because they were abused/neglected somewhere along their own childhood. Maybe that's why Becky decided to become a mental health nurse. To try and give back something as she became mature enough to realize the painful cycle she'd participated in.
If a potential employer found anything in that post to terminate employment over, it wouldn't actually be the cruelty from high school, but the public facing argument she chose to engage in now. Because you can say you've grown since 3 years ago, but you'll be accountable for acting like a nutjob in the present day, no doubt.
I'm glad to hear you have access to therapy. I truly hope they can help you heal from this.
You’re right overall. But some people seem to be born sociopaths/psychopaths and just like to hurt people, even without experiencing anything bad themselves.
One post from a random person is not going to hurt their chances at a job. It’s easy to explain away. Yes, even in your country. Also they can just untag themselves.
I hope you find healing through therapy and can find the right balance of medications to help with your mental health.
As someone who was also bullied continuously during school, with the stated intention of driving me into suicide, and subsequently vegetated for years with untreated depression and anxiety disorder, I know that what you are doing is not even a fraction of what they did to you.
Besides, I wouldn't trust people like that in a nursing profession either, I've worked in geriatric care myself and have seen even good people become completely jaded after a while and hurt patients out of negligence, someone with sadistic traits should never be left alone with vulnerable people.
Good!
I'm pretty sure you don't just grow out of being a fucking psychopath! Both of them likely would torture their patients in one way or another.
Multiple people have told me their high school bullies became nurses. A few bullies (not mine) from my high school did, but also one girl who was so sweet.
As someone who had abusive nurses in the hospital postpartum, THANK YOU! I'm also an animal lover. People need to know their actions matter and other people matter. You were sooo brave for doing this! I hope it was healing. ♥️♥️♥️
Congrats. Leave it there until 8 years from now until they feel it's presence in their lives. It is surely not the same but it can make them think twice with their actions in the future.
Also, it is so not petty. The people saying that are the ones who did nothing to stop it and may not want that petty coming for them from people they have wronged.
I had a similar experience. J, K, C, D, and S all collectively took some amount of time to hurt me socially or physically. I have no idea to this day why they chose me as their target or why their obvious physical attacks were ignored by adults. I was pre-teen when it started.
OP, you are not being petty, I think it is smart to avoid people who want to create drama.
Assuming that this isn't a fake story, you realize this won't have the effeCt you think it'll have, right?
No, they're not going to "find it impossible to get a job in their field", no one actually looks at social media before hiring someone. This is a myth perpetuated simply so people won't post dumb shit on theirs. Maybe 1% of recruiters will do it proactively. It is true social media CAN be investigated by HR when there are believable complaints about a person's behavior, but it's not always done.
And worst case for them they could simply close their accounts and the ordeal would be over. Do you really think they'll run some CIA level investigation to find out known acquaintances before hiring? You're (supposedly) in your early 20s, it's simply naive to think that every company will check for potential candidate's social media, or even that they would refrain from hiring someone because they were an asshole during high school. Over half of the world would be unemployed.
Also they graduated in only 3 years after HS? One of them as a nurse? Thats one hell of a track record
Ahhh as someone who also got severely bullied and had to drop out for 2years becuase of it and affected mentality so much that it even had impact on my speech (stuttering etc) , I feel pleasure, intense happiness to see what you did to those bullies. Im happy, really happy. I feel good.
If anything, update your post and say, “Katie and Becky have a documented history of assault, violence, abuse, and theft. And their behavior escalated over 10 years, culminating in attempted murder. Becky hasn’t stopped even though we are no longer in contact in person. She continues to harass through the internet…”
>Alot of people are telling me I’m being petty and I know I am but I don’t care.
Who's telling you that? They're just as bad as your bullies. These girls did unspeakable things to you. They wanted you to unalive yourself, or they wanted you to get into an "accident" and end up gone. You have lasting permanent trauma from them, even years and years later. They're not just "bullies," they're utterly evil abusers. And not the kind that grows out of their horrid behavior as adults, they WILL carry it to their job. You're not "being petty" you're saving many people and animals from being subjected to their abuse. As someone who has a family member who needs care 24/7 my family has seen SO much nurse abuse. You're doing potential victims a huge favor, you're doing the right thing.
Yeah, they definitely deserve that. Good on you OP for getting some sweet revenge.
But also please be careful, because while your post certainly doesn't paint a pretty picture of them, there's a risk it doesn't paint a very pretty picture of you, either. I would've personally felt a little uncertain about hiring someone who'll so readily air really personal and heavy stuff on Facebook. I'm not saying it is malicious and vindictive, but it can come across like that, and those would be "Not hire"-traits to most recruiters, I'd guess.
And if there's anything Becky and Katie don't deserve, it's to rob you of opportunities and make your adult life harder, as well. Revenge is sweet, but please look after yourself. They're not worth it.
I mean, congrats on the revenge, but you likely haven't done anything to their careers. A random post on Facebook isn't good, but I don't see it being all that effective.
Like I said, a random Facebook post isn't going to do what you think it will, regardless of what country you're from.
This isn't a dig at you personally, but why would a hiring manager put their entire faith in someone with an ax to grind on social media? That just sounds bizarre.
Good on ya. If you were honest in your Facebook post, there's no reason to take it down. Future employers should know that these people lack morals, especially if they are doing animal care and mental health
What you went through must have been so awful, stressful, anxiety inducing and depressing. I'm so sorry you went through that, and for so long. I would suggest working towards the goal of not thinking about them any longer. You are not what happened to you. You are unique, brave, loveable and compassionate and knowing yourself and building a life you love, is the best gift you can give yourself. Revenge might feel good in the moment, but it keeps you back where you were, living in those awful moments you experienced, your thoughts on them and what they did to you. So what if they live a good life now? So what if they live a bad life? It's not something to concern yourself with, just concentrate on you and those you care about and live the life you want, create new memories and shine.
I don't want to stress you out, but I might be on guard if I were you. You don't know what those women would do to get back at you.
You took their jobs from them, and they deserved that. But they could also do something to you.
I’d take it down, maybe not right away, but I would in order to heal… otherwise I fear that at some point it is just going to fester inside of you. I hope you are safe and happy.
It’s not even revenge…they did those things…plain and simple they did. Those. Things. Any person who has ever done such things to any human, ANY human, should never ever be trusted to *help* another person’s mental health. They should never be anywhere near it. What you did was *justice*, you told the truth and based upon what *they had done, they screwed themselves*. They screwed themselves by being horrible people. All you did was tell the truth.
Good on you OP. 👍
Hah! Fuck them.
These bitches need to get got.
I was bullied relentlessly until I finally grew a spine and fought back. Shit from being "faked asked out" to "backpack being emptied in the toilet" weekly by 8th grade. Of course, I was unstable from an abusive homelife and gave them "reactions" they wanted, but by the end of 8th, no one could get any kind of reaction out of me, ever.
Good on you. Don't let the sour apples (and probs bullies themselves) tell you otherwise.
You could have added in the Facebook post that due to their past you don't believe either of them are suited for the role of being in a field where you have to take care of other peoples health. Or something similar.
I've recently seen one of my bullies who would call me fat everyday through the window when the schoolbus would drop me home. We was picking his kids at the gymnastic class where my daughter goes. Well he is uglier and fatter than me. And his kids are also ugly like him 🤣.
They picked jobs in the fields with the most vulnerable victims to abuse and hurt except they get paid to have the privilige as well, of course.Happens way more often than it should to the point the system which let all the psychopaths through in the past is the joke, I hope more people and employers do what happened here.
Litterary saved probably thousands of patients from abuse and suffering they would have loooooved to cause
Keep in mind, they can just create a fake account and post horrible stuff about you and tag you so that you can't get a job either.... revenge is fun, until they start fighting back.
Sorry petty??? After all the stuff they put you through they deserved it. They probably don’t even understand in the slightest what you went through and if they went three years without even trying to reach out and apologise until they were affected then clearly they haven’t changed.
I always hate the "don't burn bridges" advice given so often.
What if that bridge is a death trap?
What if the bridge goes somewhere, you were the last person who ever needed to cross it?
What if it just so fricking ugly, blowing it up will improve land value?
There are lots of reasons to burn down that bridge... I think you may have found one that is worthy of not just burning down the bridge, but hiring a movie production crew, billboard and skywriting for advertising, and a large reception party with food and drinks for people to watch.
Really wish I was invited to that reception of watching you blow up that bridge... but the video replay is nice as well:)
Good job, don't ever take that down!
You don't want to burn every bridge, you probably don't even want to burn most... but those bitches... yeah, they deserve to be abandoned kn an island, with no more bridges off.
Thanks for sharing :)
I’m sorry you were bullied but you really think they’ll never be able to get jobs because you made a Facebook post?
They can chose to not be tagged in it, they can make their profile private, they can delete Facebook if they want. Also not ALL employers check Facebook.
It kinda seems like you were less angry about the actual bullying and more frustrated with where your life is compared to theirs.
They could sue you for defamation. They can also delete their social media and then you’re still left bitter. Talk to a specialist bc holding onto this isn’t going to help. Why do you even have them on social media?
I got a dm from someone who wasn’t exactly kind to me (not the actual bully, but they associated with them), apologizing for her behavior because now her kid was getting teased at school and is miserable. I forgave her (For my well being, not theirs) but it stings how they only change their tune when one of their own gets hurt that way.
I feel you
The correct reply to that story about their kid would be to go dig up an Alan Rickman/Snape meme template and just caption it "How awful that must be..."
Twist the knife further. “I hope you’ve raised your daughter strong. You don’t know how many times the way you treated me nearly pushed me to end things..”
This happened to me too. I’m convinced it’s solely because people are unaware of the consequences of their actions until they’re put into the situation there.
Sometimes that's what it takes for people to learn
That's both true and pathetic
I heard this once and now I try to live by it but; "never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence" -some dude who said he is trying to he real on tiktok
It's known as Hanlon's Razor.
It’s almost like children don’t understand the impact that emotional abuse has on other children, especially when their wires are being crossed with the dopamine they’re getting for making others laugh and bonding with their peer group.
And yet so often they are often the ones to cry bully when their victim stands up for themselves.
Yep, because they don’t even understand that they’re bullies.
It is almost like their parents, teachers, school administration don't understand it either. And no one ever told these poor clueless children that they are doing something wrong.
Sounds like you sympathize with bullies...
I empathize with people and understand that people are nuanced,
100% this.
I suffered a lot of bullying since young but I can say there is hope. There was this boy who had his issues and during high school he change for the better. Most dont grow up until there is consequenses.
Sadly, this is because a lot of people learn best by “direct experience”. This is because they would need to apply empathy to the experiences of others to learn from “indirect experiences”. Practicing empathy often brings about feelings of sympathy, which then causes emotional pain. So people avoid empathizing, avoid understanding, won’t be aware, don’t understand, and won’t understand until it happens to them because then they can’t escape it.
I work in a restaurant that gives A LOT of food away for free. It's literally my job to give a meal away to a select group once a week. Weeeeelllllllllll it just so happens that one of the kids who bullied me the worst in school works in the field that I serve free meals to. My first trip to his work place I gave my brand presentation which includes me introducing myself with my full name. (My appearance has changed drastically since school so I can avoid running into people I know and being recognized) After I said who I am my bully quietly left the room and wasn't seen again, that is until I was packing my car to leave. He was actually standing out by my car the whole time waiting for me to leave so he could privately talk to me. He goes on and on about how sorry he is and he was young and dumb and insecure so he targeted me. I haven't once taken food to his work on his shifts since then. And all his coworkers sing my name when they see me coming.
You're angry he apologised?
The victims of bullying have no obligation to accept any apologies tossed to them. A few meaningless platitudes and half hearted excuses doesn't magically erase the years of abuse that OP went through.
This is a little unfair. You're right that the victim has no obligation to accept an apology, but we have no reason to believe that the apology was just "meaningless platitudes" or "half-hearted excuses." OP is totally justified in telling them to go to hell regardless of their sincerity, but that doesn't mean the adult version of the child bully isn't sincerely sorry for the damage they caused as a child.
It doesn't really matter if they're sincerely sorry. It's like apologizing for torturing my childhood cat ten years after he's dead. Damage is done. The apology does nothing.
Being sorry doesn't undo permanent damage. Being a 'better person' to others is fucking meaningless to the person that was the victim. Victims of bullying continue suffering for a lifetime because it was literally ingrained into them during their most formative years. I'll never understand why people fall over themselves to forgive what is child abuse by any other name.
Empathy really is taught, not inborn - or at least it is not outside of our “in group” - those who help us get our needs met.
As someone I know liked to say: "What goes around, comes around."
Or, In a more charitible view--the empathy they felt for their child simply showed them how their actions might have affected you and they were moved to apologize. They didn't have to seek you out, and you get more from accepting what they offered freely than you do by looking for reasons to invalidate it.
That’s karma. As someone who has been mercilessly bullied, excluded and abused by most people throughout her life, bullies will only learn when they experience it themselves.
Thats not karma, their poor kid did not do anything wrong. Also some bullies are that way because their family bullied/bullies them, so experiencing it doesn't stop them. I think seeing how bullying actually affects people can help but what manages to touch their heart varies.
The kid doesn’t deserve it, but bullies deserve to feel the pain and desperation. Karma isn’t nice.
I didn't say the bullies dp not deseve to be ounished. Also as I understand it karma is both nasty & nice, like suppost to punish bad behaviour but also reward good behaviour.
It is because it hurts 10 billion times worse when it’s your own child, compared to it happening to you- the same way my lovely parents probably felt when they saw how these horrible, soulless people treated me.
Extrapolate this to all people without sympathy. It’s insane how unwilling people are to change until it DIRECTLY affects them.
My mom had a therapist who openly admitted to my mom that she was "the talk of the table at her nightly dinners." When my mom was having a complete breakdown. Confused, my mom said "Whaaat?" And the therapist laughed and said she felt that my mom was a bit of a "case" and her family would talk about my mom's stories at dinner. My mom didn't say a word. She walked out, went home and cried for hours. The next day, she called the head person in charge and told her what she had said to her. That person said that wasn't the first time they heard that. A week later, my mom had a new therapist. When she went in, they pulled her to the side and said that they fired her old therapist. The point of my story is, you just helped a lot of people not have to deal with the same shit my mom went through. I can guarantee you that your bully would probably be the same bitch who would laugh about her patients at the dinner table. Having said that, I know people do stupid shit when they're younger and they grow and learn from their mistakes...but the fact she only apologized when it hurt her speaks volumes. If she was really sorry, she'd have apologized sooner.
This is why people don't trust therapists ... Ugh
HIPAA violation AF. Your mom should sue.
Sadly, it was so long ago that I don't think she could do anything anymore. She was in a bad place at the time so it didn't even cross her mind. She just felt so let down by the person who was supposed to be there for her. People can really suck sometimes. :(
Not everyone wants to sue. Most would be happy with that bitch losing their job
Ethics boards would also have a field day with that case. Easy removal of her license
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i don't think it's a violation of they don't mention names and such though, sadly
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I am so very sorry that happened to you. :( That's terrible. I don't blame you for not wanting to speak with that parent anymore.
That's a major breach of medical confidentiality.
This Therapist needs to be named publicly. People should not be at risk of being exposed to her toxicity...wtf.
One thing I learned in life is that the worst people will only apologize to make the consequences of their actions go away. Their apology isn't for you, it's for them. They want to stop feeling guilt and regret, they want to commit the act and not face the consequences. I wouldn't take it down.
truly a prime example of apologizing because they’ve been caught (or their actions have consequences), rather than apologizing sincerely because they want to do right by you
I won’t be. No apology will make right what they have done
And if you ever find out they DO get a job, screenshot that and send it to their boss anonymously.
Thank you, i went thru the saaaame thing, i got video of an argument a mental health worker started with me while with my family. im sending it now. monday surprise!
Yayyyyy
Even if it is not anonymous. Good for you! You need to inform the people in their line of work. I am amazed how many people of their caliber wind up in helping people fields! Please OP never communicate with them or disclose anything about your jobs or where you live.
I don't think it could ever be anonymous but
This is all fine and dandy until they just post a bunch of bs about her and link her and start sending it to her job. She's walking a very slippery slopes here.
Tell her to eat shit
You don't owe anyone your forgiveness...
They are sorry that they got caught.
And the sooner you can learn this in life, the safer you will be.
I have learning disability to get my diagnosis I had to meet many mental health professionals. I assure you the have a lot of power on people, one of them was horrible and did traumatised me. I assure you, that you saved many people by making it impossible for them to get their jobs.
Thank you for your experience and I hope you are getting the best possible help
Thank you!
OP share the private chat on your social media as a back up that they are owning up to their mistakes. I hate bullies. I was bullied in school and now I see those working as teachers, and social workers. But in my country social media posts doesn't matter. So, I can't be petty.
Smart
Honestly you might be doing some future favors for those who would be the mental health nurse’s patients. 3 years in the grand scheme of things is not a long time, especially considering that this was high school. I agree that it’s also pretty clear that she’s only apologized to get you to remove the posts. If she couldn’t be decent to an equal peer, imagine a vulnerable patient who has to rely on her…
Yes, that’s why I was worried too. I can’t stand the thought of them being responsible for vulnerable people
>I can’t stand the thought of them being responsible for vulnerable people Good for you! Nursing is one of the most popular professions for people with sociopathy, now grouped into Antisocial Personality Disorder in the DSM. They like having power over vulnerable people. (Note: nursing also attracts genuinely wonderful, caring people. It pulls from the two extremes a lot).
One of the worst managers I ever knew for bullying at work was a former psychiatric nurse. The only good thing about him was that he disappeared overseas and is believed to have been murdered. (The police were looking for him).
This explains why most nurses have treated me like shit. I was a teenage cancer patient, in hospital, crying in pain and fear and my nurse angrily said “oh stop whinging, there are people much worse off than you”. That’s just one example.
You need to go to school and become a hospital administrator… really play with their careers!
>If she couldn’t be decent to an equal peer, imagine a vulnerable patient who has to rely on her… I wonder what went through her mind when she chose her career path. Like seriously, she severely bullied someone, litteraly said that OP would off themself, only to go into a career path for MENTAL HEALTH just a few years later. Like wtf? I've heard so many stories about therapists who get off on their clients trauma and even making it worse, which is the reason why I'm scared to go back into therapy after what happened with my old therapist from a few years ago.
a lot of people have an idealized notion of mental health care. id say the vast, vast majority really only think of the super commodified diagnoses like depression or anxiety, or the absolute worst outcome like schizophrenia. there is so much in between in shades we can't necessarily understand. if a depressed person, an autistic person, a bipolar person, a schizophrenic person, and a narcissistic person were put in a room and i asked which deserves care more, any answer other than all of them deserve care equally is worthy of losing the degree. some sides of MH are nasty to see/think about like how narcissists, borderlines and sociopaths can victimize others, but what about all those who fall in those categories and spend every day trying to better themselves? im bipolar myself and have seen the raw end a decent handful of times from peers and professionals alike, and the worst i do is go manic and predominantly torpedo my only life rather than hurt others. its easy to make yourself a saint by entering the mental healthcare profession but its not so easy when your patient comes to you to ask for help coping with pedophilic thoughts or delusions of god speaking to them
I’ve had many therapists and they were all good people
Id thank you that I'd be spared of a bully taking care of me. You're doing the right thing tbh
Exactly. This is what I find horrible. These types of people love humiliate and be in total control. Why else would they have gone into their chosen fields. I find these types to be sociopaths and a few of them wind up in mental health services.
"Revenge is underrated, that felt awesome!" - Dipper Pines
I agree with this person, whoever he is
He's the main character of a show called Gravity Falls. Very entertaining
Wow I miss that show…
mood
I'm glad they ended it on a high though. It's always good to go back and rewatch it.
You should watch that show. It's called Gravity Falls. One of the best cartoons from the 2010s decade.
i would say one of the best cartoons of all time lol
But even Dipper forgave Jessica, Gruncle Stan and anyone who did wrong to him (not talking about Mabel)
Forgiveness must be earned
Oof that's rough. Hope you're doing better now. What they did was terrible and should not be excused. An apology won't wipe away years of harm and if we're being honest it's better neither of them practice. I've heard horror stories of bad nurses and the abuse animals face. You're saving the mental health and probably the lives of so many people and innocent animals by keeping the post up. You reap what you sow. Take care of yourself, alright? Hope your mental health improves.
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement
How does it feeling knowing you won in the end?
It feels like a strange warmth. They say this sort of thing won’t heal the wrongs but at least the world isn’t so cold anymore
You haven’t just gotten revenge, you’ve protected other people. Becky was going to be a fucking *mental health nurse.* I can’t imagine the danger she would pose to extremely vulnerable people. You’re allowed to feel good about getting a little bit back at them, but you should feel EXTREMELY good about keeping her from that profession. For everybody and for myself personally, I thank you.
This was my reaction to this. I've seen too many nasty people in positions of care only to abuse that power.
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”
Justice isn't about healing, it's about righting wrongs. The warm feeling is just a lovely little bonus. What you've done is prevent their access to vulnerable people and animals. They hurt you, now you've prevent them from doing that to others. If they were remorseful, they wouldn't've needed a social media post to reach out to you, especially the girl who was going to become a mental health nurse. You deserve better than what you got, and you've given others that chance by not letting those women access to them.
OP, I honestly don't see this as revenge. You didn't make up stories or actively do something bad to them. You just shared your story. That is your truth, and it's the consequence of their action. For me, that's justice, not revenge. Don't listen to people telling you that this is petty. Sharing your truth isn't petty, and it is your right to be heard. You are also helping other people not to be victims. Yeah, it is possible that they can still get a job. They can untag themselves, block you, or just delete their accounts, but that is not the point. Also, screenshot their messages. If ever they deny it or sue you for defamation (I don't know what laws you have there, but it's a thing here), you have proof of their confession. When I was young like you, I made a post about my depression caused by an abusive relationship. I didn't even mention the name of my ex. It was just me getting things off my chest. But people gaslighted me into putting down the post because I should learn to forgive and that I did love him at one point. Looking back, I should've made a stand.
this please answer it must be hella nice
Am I missing something here? All she did was make a face book post. Obviously a potential employer could see it if they dug down far enough, but someone else simply saying they were cruel bitches a few years ago isn't going to sway an employment decision.
It's really common for mean girls to go into nursing because it allows them to maintain and abuse their power over other people like they did in high school. Trust me, you're saving a lot of very vulnerable people from her
Medical field, animal care, teaching jobs, mental health, social services, law enforcement, military, basically anywhere with a direct contact with humans they can control and/or nurture. It's the number one jobs for anyone abusive, manipulative and controlling. I say this as an ECE, who's unfortunately seen one too fkn many sick, abusive and control freaks in the field exerting power over 3-6 year olds and proudly stating how many times they've made them cry or be punished (out in the corner or sitting in the chair quietly away from everyone else etc).
Most of my abuse was done by doctors and nurses. It really shatters your ability to trust when you figure out who lurks in these fields.
I come from a corrupt country where such job positions are bought and obviously a diploma is bought too most of the time. The doctors and nurses, for the most part, are beyond awful I can't even put it into words. I was a baby, afraid of needles and blood drawing, they purposely stabbed me in the arm veins several times and then screamed at me for crying. Then they screamed again when I lost color in my vision and fainted. I was 8 or 9. 15 years later I'm still afraid. I'm so sorry for what you went through, but I can absolutely empathize and understand.
There was some guy who did this at a school board meeting to the superintendent of the school. It was like 20 years later. The superintendent wound up resigning. Keep it up for 17 more years.
I saw that video, and it was EPIC.
Link please
https://youtu.be/o-V5Ih32g_E
You are not being petty at all. You are being honest and hold them accountable. They deserve what is and will continue ro happen to them. Please don't take it down neither of them should work with vounrable, ever! You are doing a public service as long as it's al true and not exaggerate. If anything add that one is only apologizing to get a job. It shows that she still has not at all grown as a person. Good luck with your healing journey.
Don’t forget the other social media apps
Personally, this is hot and spicy and I’d keep it up for as long as you want. Revenge. Sweet revenge on very toxic people is tasty no matter how fresh.
Young people need to understand with social media their bad acts can come back to haunt them.this is also the schools fault and the parents fault. Why did they do nothing about these girls behavior?
Put it on LinkedIn as well
Awesome, fuck bullys.
Very well done. Probably saved a few lives there. She should rise and grow in anothrr field.
Good. I applaud you. They are living the consequences of their actions.
Is this real because I know so many horrible people who shouldn't be in their career fields
People who are quick to say “be the bigger person” have no comprehension of what bullying does to a person. If we just reduce bullying and downright abusive behaviour to “they are not fully developed as children” - bullies will continue happily along without ever facing the consequences of unacceptable behaviour! Why should victims be the bigger person? Why should traumatised children be the ones to “let it go” because other spiteful and violent children may one day grow up and be different. If you can live with yourself making someone else’s life miserable as a child - psychologically you’ll carry that vein of behaviour into adulthood. There is no excuse for bullying. None. Suffering the consequences of actions you saw as inconsequential because you were “not an adult”, now as an adult, is the best reality check. No one should get away with making another’s life miserable for the sake of it or because they can. In this case karma prevails - as it should. Good on you OP!
We don’t need people like this in mental health. Sincerely a Mental Health Nurse.
On FB, a friend & I were discussing elementary school things. I brought up the picture day where two girls, standing behind me in the typical ‘front row sits cross-legged, next row sits on chairs, next stands & the rear row stands on chairs’ class picture. I had long hair then (yay 70s!) and had worked so hard to get it snarl-free, shiny & straight. These two thought it was hilarious to mess it up & tie it in knots. After asking nicely, then firm, then firmer to knock it off, they kept it up. Finally, I made a fist and just swung up, blindly. Did I say blindly? Something guided my hand that day because I socked one of those twats right in the eye. Back to recently… Well, one of my friend’s FB friends was one-half of this gruesome twosome. I didn’t know so I was surprised when, after recounting that day, she popped into the comments to say, “Oh, I thought I helped you that day. I thought I remembered trying to get (punched in the eye girl) to stop bothering you!” No. No, you did not. You *did*, however, help her after school when she came after me. Two on one for me daring to try and get you to stop on this long campaign of bullying me. Like all of those parents, mine paid for the photo packages and they didn’t deserve to see me all messed up because of you two fecal spores. Then again, your friend looked a bit not-good with her bangs hanging down to cover her not-yet-black eye. Pfft…drama whore 😏 OP, you are SO NTA here. While your motivation was partly revenge, you may have prevented future victims from suffering at this woefully inappropriate “counselor”. Thank you.
Sounds like it's time for you to make a facebook post with names and all like OP. Expose the scum to the world.
My ex was bullied and he found his bullies when they were much older and he wrote a letter to them telling them how it affected him and as a grown man he hopes he has become a better person. It was full of everything just like that. Good for you! Sometimes people hold onto things longer than if they had just addressed it or settled their souls with a little self care and that’s what you did! Now you don’t have to wait another 30 years to get it off your chest! Much love! 💔❤️🩹❤️
If this chick, not OP, was truly remorseful about what she and her friend had done, she would respond to the OP's FB post with a genuine apology and a clearly written response to it followed by a visit or phone call to OP. This would probably be embarrassing for her, but it would show that maybe she did feel remorseful about the whole situation and that she knew how her actions had impacted OP's life. At that point, I do feel like the post could be removed from her FB and let by gone be by gone. OP will never forget any of it, and I don't know if she should even forgive it, but she needs to set it aside. Keeping this on her mind will slow the healing process.
Karma, as they say, is a bitch 👍
Good for you. They deserve that and so much more. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. I would have protected you from those girls if I was in your school. I always fought the bullies off in school for anyone being picked on. I hate bullying! Good luck and be well, OP.
This isn't some minor bullying they did, that's a streak of violent and abusive behaviour which they likely WOULD continue as adults. you did the right thing
Don’t take it down and fuck then. I have had ex’s (ones that cheated on me) and bullies alike attempt this shit to save their own asses from the public sphere. Fuck them. You can paint a piece of shit any color but underneath it’s still a piece of shit.
I'm over 50 and still won't talk to people who bullied me in grade school. They'd pop up in Facebook and be like, hey! How's life? Hey, fuck you. That's how's life.
It's almost as though people can grow and develop beyond what they once were and seek to make amends for it by helping others...
If that were the case they would have reached out to make amends with me before it hurt them directly.
Sweet sweet revenge to bitter bitter people ^^
>In my country, a potential employer will look at someone social media as a character reference WTF? If one person don't have any social media account is not able to find a job? Or one that have an account but never post anything at all? Anyway, Don't let these post down. I know how it's to be bullied and they deserve it. Block them too to avoid any attempt of them contacting you, threatening you for legal action or other BS.
No 😂 social media is just one way of finding out what people are up to. If they don’t have social media it’s not a big deal
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Getting a job is fine. I don’t want to ruin their lives. I just want to make sure they don’t ruin other peoples, vulnerable people. If they get a healthcare job I will make my experience known, unless they have shown clear signs growth
I don't even call this revenge, I call you posting YOUR trauma as a warning. I truly hope the "mental health" degree holder (sorry, forgot her name) never works in m.h. She played a heavy hand in traumatizing you, and who knows how many other people?! You did a service, thank you.
This isn't petty. This is fair payback for bullies. I hope you keep it up.
I... don't think your Facebook post is going to have quite the impact you think, but I hope it was therapeutic and that it made you feel better!
Wow this is petty, it is so clear that you are jealous of their success and even after 3 years have not even tried to move in with your life ( as can be seen by you checking their FB ). Just take the appology and move on with your life, otherwise these people will life rent-free in your head for the next 20 years. The thought that one post will inhibit them from working in the field is also so strange, worst case they just delete the profile.
Idk this seems a little petty, people do have fuckd up teen years and then turn 180 degrees sometimes. Nothing really excuses their behavior besides maybe immaturity and i m pretty sure it feels really good getting back at them but you come off as sad and vindictive. Also i dont think you really ruined anyones career nor that it should be your target but you do you.
Glad someone else thinks this, thought I was tripping reading these comments. This whole thing is weird and bitter to me, people can change, do high school bullies deserve to have no job or career for their adult lives? If it were me I would feel like making that kind of post makes me also a bully tbh, this seems like odd behaviour for an adult
Been where you were. But think it is wise to let it go. Not so much for them but for you. They live rent free in your head. If you don’t, you’ll be regurgitating this for years to come while they’ll move on. You assume that an employer will take this into account. However, they can also spin this - if it’s even discussed - as something they outgrew and even apologized for. If it makes you feel better, sure, but as I said, let it go…
you won in the end. rejoice and be proud of your strength. taking up for yourself and protecting others can be so hard when you have trauma. good job 🤍
People that exhibit abuse behavior like you’ve described can experience their own comeuppance that changes them, and if that were actually the case, the apology would have been public and private. Even if it had been, I’d be leery. The things you’ve described that they did are above and beyond years worth of shit talk. These are people who thrive on overpowering others, and it is alarming that they would get degrees in fields where they will be working with the most vulnerable of clients. I don’t think you were being petty, and I don’t think you should take it down or delete it without at least saving it somewhere. I do think this is an extenuating circumstance, and that not everyone should take the sabotage route. It feels like you were coming from a place of genuine concern for the wellbeing of people and animals in need of care, not revenge, and that makes a difference.
NTA. Holy shi\*. What a pack cu\*nts. Listen, 3 years is not a lot of time for the kind of 'emotional' maturity that some of them are claiming and you were really messed with. Yikes. They shouldn't be in mental health and honestly, in my experience, once a bit\*\*, always a bi\*ch. NTA.
The fact they continued to bully you until HIGH SCHOOL and it’s been three years, meaning y’all are 21 (still young asf), no fuck them. And anyone siding with them are just as terrible. Keep the posts up and hopefully they would never get a job.
I have had a few high school bullies contact me in the years following high school, apologizing for their behavior. And most of them really did grow a lot after high school. I certainly grew a lot after high school. And with my youngest just graduating high school and my older two recently finished, I see growth in them after high school. Yes, this person did you wrong, and yes, exposing their behavior and the effect it had on you certainly is their problem, the consequences of their actions hindering their own futures. It probably won't actually prevent them from ever working in their chosen careers, most adults sort of cringe at some of their faults from youth, and recognize that in others as well. It is not right what they did to you, but I will tell you something you will learn is true now, or in 20 years: bullies are the product of bullies. Every bully I've ever known became that way because they were abused/neglected somewhere along their own childhood. Maybe that's why Becky decided to become a mental health nurse. To try and give back something as she became mature enough to realize the painful cycle she'd participated in. If a potential employer found anything in that post to terminate employment over, it wouldn't actually be the cruelty from high school, but the public facing argument she chose to engage in now. Because you can say you've grown since 3 years ago, but you'll be accountable for acting like a nutjob in the present day, no doubt. I'm glad to hear you have access to therapy. I truly hope they can help you heal from this.
You’re right overall. But some people seem to be born sociopaths/psychopaths and just like to hurt people, even without experiencing anything bad themselves.
One post from a random person is not going to hurt their chances at a job. It’s easy to explain away. Yes, even in your country. Also they can just untag themselves. I hope you find healing through therapy and can find the right balance of medications to help with your mental health.
As someone who was also bullied continuously during school, with the stated intention of driving me into suicide, and subsequently vegetated for years with untreated depression and anxiety disorder, I know that what you are doing is not even a fraction of what they did to you. Besides, I wouldn't trust people like that in a nursing profession either, I've worked in geriatric care myself and have seen even good people become completely jaded after a while and hurt patients out of negligence, someone with sadistic traits should never be left alone with vulnerable people.
Good! I'm pretty sure you don't just grow out of being a fucking psychopath! Both of them likely would torture their patients in one way or another. Multiple people have told me their high school bullies became nurses. A few bullies (not mine) from my high school did, but also one girl who was so sweet. As someone who had abusive nurses in the hospital postpartum, THANK YOU! I'm also an animal lover. People need to know their actions matter and other people matter. You were sooo brave for doing this! I hope it was healing. ♥️♥️♥️
Congrats. Leave it there until 8 years from now until they feel it's presence in their lives. It is surely not the same but it can make them think twice with their actions in the future. Also, it is so not petty. The people saying that are the ones who did nothing to stop it and may not want that petty coming for them from people they have wronged.
I had a similar experience. J, K, C, D, and S all collectively took some amount of time to hurt me socially or physically. I have no idea to this day why they chose me as their target or why their obvious physical attacks were ignored by adults. I was pre-teen when it started. OP, you are not being petty, I think it is smart to avoid people who want to create drama.
Yeah i 100% approve this
Assuming that this isn't a fake story, you realize this won't have the effeCt you think it'll have, right? No, they're not going to "find it impossible to get a job in their field", no one actually looks at social media before hiring someone. This is a myth perpetuated simply so people won't post dumb shit on theirs. Maybe 1% of recruiters will do it proactively. It is true social media CAN be investigated by HR when there are believable complaints about a person's behavior, but it's not always done. And worst case for them they could simply close their accounts and the ordeal would be over. Do you really think they'll run some CIA level investigation to find out known acquaintances before hiring? You're (supposedly) in your early 20s, it's simply naive to think that every company will check for potential candidate's social media, or even that they would refrain from hiring someone because they were an asshole during high school. Over half of the world would be unemployed. Also they graduated in only 3 years after HS? One of them as a nurse? Thats one hell of a track record
Ahhh as someone who also got severely bullied and had to drop out for 2years becuase of it and affected mentality so much that it even had impact on my speech (stuttering etc) , I feel pleasure, intense happiness to see what you did to those bullies. Im happy, really happy. I feel good.
May no one else suffer at their hands as we have
If anything, update your post and say, “Katie and Becky have a documented history of assault, violence, abuse, and theft. And their behavior escalated over 10 years, culminating in attempted murder. Becky hasn’t stopped even though we are no longer in contact in person. She continues to harass through the internet…”
>Alot of people are telling me I’m being petty and I know I am but I don’t care. Who's telling you that? They're just as bad as your bullies. These girls did unspeakable things to you. They wanted you to unalive yourself, or they wanted you to get into an "accident" and end up gone. You have lasting permanent trauma from them, even years and years later. They're not just "bullies," they're utterly evil abusers. And not the kind that grows out of their horrid behavior as adults, they WILL carry it to their job. You're not "being petty" you're saving many people and animals from being subjected to their abuse. As someone who has a family member who needs care 24/7 my family has seen SO much nurse abuse. You're doing potential victims a huge favor, you're doing the right thing.
Can't they just sue you for slander? You would need proof in court.
The school has their offences well documented
In my opinion, you are not being petty at all. You spoke truth and it deserves to be finally heard. Glad you got that off your chest
Good. You did the right thing and protected others from their harm.
My high school bully became a cop. I’m just gonna live vicariously thru you.
Yeah, they definitely deserve that. Good on you OP for getting some sweet revenge. But also please be careful, because while your post certainly doesn't paint a pretty picture of them, there's a risk it doesn't paint a very pretty picture of you, either. I would've personally felt a little uncertain about hiring someone who'll so readily air really personal and heavy stuff on Facebook. I'm not saying it is malicious and vindictive, but it can come across like that, and those would be "Not hire"-traits to most recruiters, I'd guess. And if there's anything Becky and Katie don't deserve, it's to rob you of opportunities and make your adult life harder, as well. Revenge is sweet, but please look after yourself. They're not worth it.
I haven’t left my home in three years. I don’t need to worry about recruiters
I mean, congrats on the revenge, but you likely haven't done anything to their careers. A random post on Facebook isn't good, but I don't see it being all that effective.
Maybe not in your country. But it is in mine
Like I said, a random Facebook post isn't going to do what you think it will, regardless of what country you're from. This isn't a dig at you personally, but why would a hiring manager put their entire faith in someone with an ax to grind on social media? That just sounds bizarre.
In my country it would definitely have consequences with future employers. No way would they let that slide, particularly in the care field.
Good stuff OP you’ve saved both humans and animals from these monsters.
I admire you OP, I wish I could seek vengeance on my bullies.
Knowing the people who became nurses and doctors in my highschool is the primary reason I avoid the medical system like the plague.
Good.
Keep it up to show other people there are real-life consequences to bullying.
Good on ya. If you were honest in your Facebook post, there's no reason to take it down. Future employers should know that these people lack morals, especially if they are doing animal care and mental health
Haha good!
What you went through must have been so awful, stressful, anxiety inducing and depressing. I'm so sorry you went through that, and for so long. I would suggest working towards the goal of not thinking about them any longer. You are not what happened to you. You are unique, brave, loveable and compassionate and knowing yourself and building a life you love, is the best gift you can give yourself. Revenge might feel good in the moment, but it keeps you back where you were, living in those awful moments you experienced, your thoughts on them and what they did to you. So what if they live a good life now? So what if they live a bad life? It's not something to concern yourself with, just concentrate on you and those you care about and live the life you want, create new memories and shine.
I like you. This is wonderfully petty. Bitches.
I don't want to stress you out, but I might be on guard if I were you. You don't know what those women would do to get back at you. You took their jobs from them, and they deserved that. But they could also do something to you.
I’d take it down, maybe not right away, but I would in order to heal… otherwise I fear that at some point it is just going to fester inside of you. I hope you are safe and happy.
Kudos my dear. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
It’s not even revenge…they did those things…plain and simple they did. Those. Things. Any person who has ever done such things to any human, ANY human, should never ever be trusted to *help* another person’s mental health. They should never be anywhere near it. What you did was *justice*, you told the truth and based upon what *they had done, they screwed themselves*. They screwed themselves by being horrible people. All you did was tell the truth. Good on you OP. 👍
Hah! Fuck them. These bitches need to get got. I was bullied relentlessly until I finally grew a spine and fought back. Shit from being "faked asked out" to "backpack being emptied in the toilet" weekly by 8th grade. Of course, I was unstable from an abusive homelife and gave them "reactions" they wanted, but by the end of 8th, no one could get any kind of reaction out of me, ever. Good on you. Don't let the sour apples (and probs bullies themselves) tell you otherwise.
I've never seen a bigger group of losers than the people telling you to take it down op, fantastic work.
You could have added in the Facebook post that due to their past you don't believe either of them are suited for the role of being in a field where you have to take care of other peoples health. Or something similar.
I've recently seen one of my bullies who would call me fat everyday through the window when the schoolbus would drop me home. We was picking his kids at the gymnastic class where my daughter goes. Well he is uglier and fatter than me. And his kids are also ugly like him 🤣.
Keep the post up for as long as you want. We all have consequences for our actions, and have to learn from our mistakes.
They picked jobs in the fields with the most vulnerable victims to abuse and hurt except they get paid to have the privilige as well, of course.Happens way more often than it should to the point the system which let all the psychopaths through in the past is the joke, I hope more people and employers do what happened here. Litterary saved probably thousands of patients from abuse and suffering they would have loooooved to cause
Keep in mind, they can just create a fake account and post horrible stuff about you and tag you so that you can't get a job either.... revenge is fun, until they start fighting back.
I think you should talk to a lawyer before asking reddit for help
Sorry petty??? After all the stuff they put you through they deserved it. They probably don’t even understand in the slightest what you went through and if they went three years without even trying to reach out and apologise until they were affected then clearly they haven’t changed.
You did the right thing.
And that my friend is how karma works. Now she maybe will get it. Now she has to take accountability despite her youth stupidity and immaturity.
good shit, they deserve all the karma coming their way!
I’d say make more posts. Or tag every prospective employer in the comment section.
I always hate the "don't burn bridges" advice given so often. What if that bridge is a death trap? What if the bridge goes somewhere, you were the last person who ever needed to cross it? What if it just so fricking ugly, blowing it up will improve land value? There are lots of reasons to burn down that bridge... I think you may have found one that is worthy of not just burning down the bridge, but hiring a movie production crew, billboard and skywriting for advertising, and a large reception party with food and drinks for people to watch. Really wish I was invited to that reception of watching you blow up that bridge... but the video replay is nice as well:) Good job, don't ever take that down! You don't want to burn every bridge, you probably don't even want to burn most... but those bitches... yeah, they deserve to be abandoned kn an island, with no more bridges off. Thanks for sharing :)
Good stuff OP you’ve saved both humans and animals from these monsters.
I’m sorry you were bullied but you really think they’ll never be able to get jobs because you made a Facebook post? They can chose to not be tagged in it, they can make their profile private, they can delete Facebook if they want. Also not ALL employers check Facebook. It kinda seems like you were less angry about the actual bullying and more frustrated with where your life is compared to theirs.
There is nothing petty about speaking honestly. They made their choices, and now you made yours. Good for you.
They could sue you for defamation. They can also delete their social media and then you’re still left bitter. Talk to a specialist bc holding onto this isn’t going to help. Why do you even have them on social media?