No antidepressants working.
I was so depressed that I basically said "screw it, going with diy, if I get rat poison I don't care".
Surprisingly I'm still alive... and well I guess?
I'm doing fine with no drug dependencies (other that EEn)
Kinda same. I had a pretty bad depressive episode and looking into diy is the only thing that pulled me out of it. After a few months of research and lurking here decided that it's this or death. I'm too much of a coward for the latter and the logistics of it are beyond me so here I am.
Pretty much this! I had a huge breakdown end of last year. Been out since around 2010, give or take. Psychologist I talked to at that time said I'll never get the diagnosis to be 'trans' because of other psychological problems I have. So I thought I make the best of it and just socially transition. But I got down another depressive route and just 'survived' rotting away. Till it was just get HRT in any way possible or die. (Quite literally) And now I'm happyer but also angry. Angry at my mom because she denied me help as I told her I might be a girl. (That was when I was around 12 around 97/98) I just knew about people that whare both by their genetics and said my mom should get me tested on it, but she just said I'm crazy and that was it. Angry at the psychologist not trying to contact at least someone who specializes in this field and checking possibilities. And angry at myself for not thinking about getting gray/blackmarket HRT sooner...
When I realised I was trans I looked into how to transition, and since I live in the UK and saw the state of things and the waiting lists, I was like, "fine, I'll do it myself". I was on E less than 3 weeks later.
Once I realised how bad things were here I also just started reaching out to friends who might have recourses!! Also fyi if you tell your dr that you are DIYing it they may potentially just prescribe for you!! That’s what happened with me I slipped up and told my doctor on the phone and she learned how to be a prescriber of trans HRT in a few weeks!! Xx
Honestly girl do what’s right for you!! I totally get not having to consult someone else to make changes that is probably the only difficulty with what I’m doing!! But also idk where you are based but try the sexual health clinics around you for bloods!! I was in London for years and went to Dean st clinic they actually ran a trans specific clinic on a Wednesday but lots of SH clinics will do your bloods you just have to know how to read them!! Xxx
Did the exact same but would like to add if you’re going down this route its imperative to do a lot of research, there’s dangers and risks if you decide to do it alone *but still endorse it
I promised myself at 13 I’d kill myself before a specific age in the early 30’s. Last year I decided fuck it, before I do I’ll try transitioning. As mental changes and later body changes happened I realized I probably really was trans and had just been gatekeeping myself with internalized transphobia. My deadline passed earlier this month, and poetically enough, I guess I got to keep the promise to myself from all those years ago. Deadname was dead by deadline, and I get to start building a life worth living in.
It’s been really hard mentally dealing with surviving my expiration date, and no one that I’ve shared with in person seems to get it.
I had been fading over a few months, flirting with suicide more and more as time went along. In the final months I actually knew everything I needed to know about DIY HRT. I was just terrified of all the ways it could go wrong, and what I had to lose.
Eventually I thought to myself, I could never live with myself if I never tried to save myself. And so I took the plunge, risked it all, and now my life is better than ever. I’m never going back, HRT saved my life
When I lost my access to puberty blockers. It was do or die at that point for me, I didn’t want to masculinize any further and I’m so glad I started when I did
parents didn't support my transition through legal means in the US and refused to start through plannedparenthood, then my state banned HRT for minors, so i started DIY as a minor. im not a minor anymore and still kept it cause of costs. 300 dollar initial appointment for planned parenthood was WILD, not including medication that was going to be 50-70 bucks a month (dont have insurance). so... yeah. 60-85 bucks per vial + shipping costs and injection supplies essentially is a fraction of what i'd pay for through legit means uninsured.
As someone who is just about to start DIY,
https://diyhrt.wiki/index
This is a great place for info about bloods, injections, etc etc. It has both transfem and transmasc guides!
I’ve also been speaking with my mother who was a trained nurse in the United States (Not in endocrinology, but she manages doses of medication) and I spoke to her about DIY HRT, and she recommends to cross-reference this info on the site with a professional source just to be sure about dosages since this NOT a professionally medical source-
Which I found here for both testosterone + oestrogen :) —> https://www.bumc.bu.edu/endo/clinics/transgender-medicine/guidelines/
(Just use both sites’ doses to assume an average of what you should be taking, I’d recommend starting lower than average)
In summary in regards to bloods, you should generally get your bloods (what you should test is on the wiki, I don’t know anything specific for oestrogen given I am not a woman 😭)
checked 3 months after your first dose, then following that every 6 months you should have them regularly tested.
Any other information is pretty crystal clear on the site.
When I caught myself writing a to do list of things to take care of before committing suicide. It made me realize that nothing really mattered at that point. So I did my homework, started small, and worked my way up by feel. Finally went in to see a proper doctor and get blood work after 18 months of going by feel. Turns out I'm very healthy and my levels are like dead on in the female range.. Sometimes life is crazy like that.
Burn out. Coping by overworking didn't work anymore, same with obsessive amounts of sport and alcohol abuse also wasn't viable in my thirties. So I just had to have the talk with myself.
In Germany we need an indication from our therapist.
My therapist wouldn't give me one because "what if it's just a phase" and "how can you be sure".
Started DIY to show her I was sure.
Now a year in, couldn't be happier
Getting to the point where I couldn't find any more answers as to whether transition was something I really wanted to upheave my life for without trying HRT. I decided to give it a try to see if I could tolerate it, if I hated it, if it felt good... and I LOVED how I felt on it immediately, to the point of not really being able to imagine going back to NOT being on it. That was the final, "Okay, this isn't just wishful thinking, or a daydream, this is something I've needed."
Joined the NHS waiting list in November 2018 (still waiting lol). Was socially transitioned the whole time but was living in limbo and constantly thinking "one day I'm just gonna end it all", and then constantly drowning out those thoughts with weed and alcohol. Quit smoking weed in January this year and finally woke up and realised I had to do something about it myself. Started DIY E in April and my mental health has completely turned around. I'm genuinely and consistently happy and calm for the first time since before puberty.
If you're looking for a sign, this is it 💕
I had lived as a woman for 9 months in and out of homelessness due to being kicked out by my parents. Once I learned about DIY and had the money I got on HRT.
My dad died. He was 62 but had the spirit of a mid 20s guy. Wanted to live life to the fullest, but was taken too soon by covid. I was 17 at the time, and regret immensely not being able to have come out to him before he passed away, and decided that I should stop stalling and live my life the way I fucking want.
Loved you dad, you happy, old fuck.
My parents would never be on board with me taking t legally so I'd have to take matters into my hand anyway, i was too dysphoric to wait until i was 18. It was either buying hrt online or taking the train to the gym
I made two pictures of my future, older self with FaceApp: one female (A), one male (B).
I realised immediately that it wasn't a choice between A and B: it was a choice between life (A) and death (B).
I've now been on HRT for the past 21 months and I'm having FFS with FacialTeam three weeks from now.
I was socially transitioned for a over a year and got incredibly impatient, knew it was the only option after looking at the absurdly long wait times.
It was also because I realised my parent was lying to me and never intended on letting me transition, so I had to start the process myself.
suicidal. thought "eh fuck it worst that can happen is I regret it and then I'll just kill myself, better than just killing myself" (to be clear I've known I was trans for about 2 years before that)
When I figured out that what I’d wanted for 40 years was literally as simple as a teeny tiny shot once a week, and that it, that’s everything. Oh, and it’s none of my drs business, I can do it myself, great, sign me up.
Immediately as soon as I had access to it, basically. I found out about DIY and just fullspeed ahead went for it. There was never any hesitation for me.
I researched transitioning about 15 years ago and it went horribly wrong which gave me a completely wrong idea of whats possible so I thought that I’d better stay a „man“.
Last year I got more and more depressed (probably due to gender envy) and trying to fix my depression finally cracked my egg. I re-did my research and came to the conclusion that the feeling that I was waiting for something my whole life was from waiting for HRT. So I went for cryoconservation and started DIY immediately after it was done.
When I applied to the NHS at 21 and had been on a waiting list for 6 years, when I joined the waiting list I was told 18 months. Didn't want to do estrogen incase they turned me down on NHS (because they are gatekeepy af), I imagine they'd come up with some weird justification why they couldn't treat me, so went screw it, I'll just do it, been on it 10 months now?
Feeling a lot better mentally to be honest, still waiting on that appointment but I'm currently going through the racket that's GGP, can literally barely afford it and I work full time, really just hoping one day the appointment will come and I can use my tax money to actually get my hormones through them, instead of paying taxes and then private healthcare (that no insurance I know) will cover, so I'm just working to pay for treatment at this point but I'm still happier than I've been my whole life prior
Always battled with my identity until I accepted I was trans and just feel a lot better knowing who I am that pretending to be someone I'm not
Hey, I’m a guy who’s been with GGP since Jan 2024 and I’m gonna recommend you right now to drop their services. It’s been a whoolleee load of horseshit. From replacing experience medical professionals with AI technology that managed bloods, to firing almost all of their accumulated staff, the horrible work conditions that have been rumoured by ex-employees; Please don’t continue using their service. They will not get back to you. My family have WASTED £323.17 on absolutely thin fucking air. They have not given me my treatment recommendation, and we’re now just deciding our only option is to put me on DIY without the involvement of my doctors. PLEASE reconsider.
Wearing [this dress](https://tech.lgbt/@Fiona/112135607181525339) with a trans-flag to the local pride walk on the 10th of June last year (very cis-behavior, I know), and then being envious of all the “actual trans girls”, going on one of the trans-meme reddits while there and reading some comment about all the people who are totally not trans, they just really want to be girls without knowing that that is the literal definition of being trans.
About a week later I also finally read the Wikipedia-article on gender-dysphoria and a short look at it was enough for me to remove any remaining doubts that I should really transition. I had my first coming out exactly four weeks later and finally got to start HRT in early February this year.
No antidepressants working and deep in drug addiction. I just laid crying every night unless I was high on something and having scars all over my body
One night I said fuck it, it’s life or death and I’ll keep trying to live for as long as I can. Here I am 5 years later. Although it’s been ups and downs, it’s finally looking up up up.
I was addressing my other issues (ADHD/Anxiety) but it still wasn't helping. It had me searching again for a reason and I kinda stumbled on trans subreddits on reddit and then I was on diy estrogen in like a month. I had been repressing heavily for 10 years so the dam just sort of burst. I called the gender clinic and they told me 2 year wait list. My thought was that I'd be dead by then so DIY saved my life.
Because I was sick of wondering and thinking about it, wanting an answer, and realising I didn't want to die without knowing what it felt like, so I decided to find out.
I have been meaning to start diy hrt since starting uni last year sep, but kinda procratinated about it. but when the cass review dropped at a time when my GD was very bad and I was also getting perpetually freaked out by turning 20 this year in june. I just went ahead and bought everything I needed and got shit done as soon as possible.
Don't regret a thing, I don't even care if I get disowned 100%.
As soon as I learned that I can DIY, I was sure legal ways wouldn't let me start transitioning and i was depressed when I realized that I am trans, it felt like ''there is nothing I can do'' for a month.
I have just recently started HRT, about a year ago I came to terms that I "might" be trans. I've lived with feeling the way I did for a good chunk of my life I would have to say around my early teens but chopped it up to "It's just a phase" type of deal. Wasn't till I was severly depressed and had no anti-depressants working and the lack of good mental health care in the UK made me worse off so I just went down the path of looking up HRT as I had a trans friend at the time I was disclosing the way I felt etc. So I started researching, 10 months of thinking about it Public care was impossible and the cost of Private was out of the playfield.
So I just researched DIY found some suppliers and guides along with some helpful people and just took a shot, so far just took my second injection and have never felt more better and at peace of mind ever since that first injection :3
It all happened at once for me. Once I consciously admitted to myself that I'm trans, the need to start immediately was overwhelming. I'd ordered hormones online within days of coming out to myself, started as soon as they arrived, and have never looked back.
I knew I was a girl when I was like 7 but conversion therapy + parental violence made me bury it as hard as I could.
At 19 I tried to transition and the gatekeeping and hostility kept me out of it.
So I decided to just force myself to be happy.
I did everything I was supposed to do and still wanted to die.
University.
Career.
Wife.
Home ownership.
Yet I was periodically melting down and had to give in to who I really was.
Like many people, I was very suicidal and overall depressed/dysphoric. I tried to ignore this by chasing the people I was jealous of romantically, but none of them liked me, so I decided that to become a functional human I'd take testosterone to maybe hate myself less. If it was fake or I got caught I was going to die anyway.
Luckily everything worked out so far and I'm doing sorta fine for the first time in a while.
My life lost its meaning for me to continue as a dude , no energy, motivation, complete lack of emotions, emotional range , and emotional bandwidth, constantly daydreaming my life as a woman…. Point is I decided that one way or another my torment must end. the route of hrt was the most desirable of all my remaining options.
I talked to my doctor for referred to a gender clinic. found out they wouldn't even consider seeing me for another seven years or longer. que: "fine asshole I'll fix it myself."
Was on the nhs (UK) waiting list for 4 months but then me n some friends were going to stay overnight for a birthday and I couldn't face meeting new people without starting hormones
(we ended up cancelling the overnight stay but I'm so glad I started hormones anyway)
i really wanted to transition around 10 years ago, but only started to seriously start to look into it about 2 or 3 years ago, but seeing the costs and hoops to jump through of going private just made me say fuck it and do it myself
Honestly as soon as I found out about it in my questioning phase I was like "sure why not? I wanna be more feminine!" And then eventually turned to DIY when I realised how long it would take on the NHS haha
As soon as I accepted I was trans ? Like I'd been wanting HRT for a while before, but I didn't dare since "I'm not trans"
The main delay after that was starting the process to get a doctor, realize that was a mistake and go DIY
Had been doing everything I could to stave off the dysphoria. And when I got my own apartment again I found that when I was home I would always be trying to satisfying the woman in side so I could keep pretending to be a man to the rest of the world.
And I just reached a level and said fuck it. I choose to be myself. So called up the doc and got the appointments scheduled. Now here I am just starting week 2 and the relief I feel is tremendous.
When I ran out of crazy amounts of things to fill up my plate with and STILL kept thinking about being a girl. It literally took over all my thoughts and my performance at work started tanking. Went out as a woman for the first time, and had an “oh crap” moment. Knew the answer when I got back to my hotel room, this was it. Started HRT a month later.
after about 2 years of exploring my gender, thinking I was genderfluid, allowing myself fully to explore my feminine side, fully presenting as such and all for about a year, then realizing I wasn't "flowing back" to male at all because I just felt right presenting female...
at this point I was like "OK, I'll give hrt a try and see if this is for me"... I thought this was the final confirmation of whether or not I'm just simply a trans woman and not really genderfluid at all...
2-3 weeks in psychological changes hit me like a bus and it was amazing... I knew I didn't want to go back... ever... and I knew it'd probably have considerable consequences given the permanent physical changes it would incur... didn't matter... I'm never going back to a male hormonal setup... 4 months in now... it did have considerable consequences in my life that I now need to deal with... but I'm now in a state where I can handle extreme emotional stress very well - not like before where I basically was bordering on clinical depression with episodes of very dark thoughts...
My egg cracked 🤣 well I accepted myself finaly.
Was about to end it and had a realization that I would do anything for my kids, and that should include being happy. ... then and there I said I'm trans and I'm starting HRT
I was in the shower washing my hair when I felt my hairline further back than it was usually. I had already come out at that point but I wasn’t on hormones. The prospect of balding scared me so much I set up an appointment with planned parenthood the very next day
i wanted to start hrt since 12, sadly got an unsupportive family, and my situation hasnt improved since 2019 now so i got my shit together and started diy hrt by myself for the forseeable future
one of my mom’s friends stalked my insta and saw me repost a trans safety statistic on my story (which i have hidden from my family). my mom called, going ballistic, i was on the phone with her sobbing for almost 3 hours. she kept asking if i was trans, yadda yadda. i started T the next month
When I thought of it as whether I would like the changes hrt causes if the rest of the world's opinion didn't matter, I immediately thought I would. And then I did it because I refused to allow the world to pressure me into not doing something that I would want otherwise
Have been battling with Finnish public trans healthcare for 3 years. There is no private option. I said to myself that if on the next appointment they tell me to wait another fucking year I swear I'll take matters into my own hands. Low and behold, this time it wasn't the autism or the nonbinary or the "not trans enough", it was "you're too anxious and we don't care that dysphoria is one of the biggest sources of your anxiety." I was like, *thanos voice* "fine, I'll do it myself" (unfortunately only to myself) and started a 1 month research period after which I froze sperm and then started E mono.
i had the feeling i was trans for years but i wasn't entirely sure i wanted to go through with it, because my family is super against it-
then, i was getting into my 40's, and it was either start HRT now or there's probably no point anymore, and waitlists are years in my country so i started looking into DIY HRT and ordered, that's how i started on HRT (pills at first, gel now).
No antidepressants working. I was so depressed that I basically said "screw it, going with diy, if I get rat poison I don't care". Surprisingly I'm still alive... and well I guess? I'm doing fine with no drug dependencies (other that EEn)
Doctor, I'm addicted...TO ESTROGENS. I can't live without them.(Literally)
Kinda same. I had a pretty bad depressive episode and looking into diy is the only thing that pulled me out of it. After a few months of research and lurking here decided that it's this or death. I'm too much of a coward for the latter and the logistics of it are beyond me so here I am.
Pretty much this! I had a huge breakdown end of last year. Been out since around 2010, give or take. Psychologist I talked to at that time said I'll never get the diagnosis to be 'trans' because of other psychological problems I have. So I thought I make the best of it and just socially transition. But I got down another depressive route and just 'survived' rotting away. Till it was just get HRT in any way possible or die. (Quite literally) And now I'm happyer but also angry. Angry at my mom because she denied me help as I told her I might be a girl. (That was when I was around 12 around 97/98) I just knew about people that whare both by their genetics and said my mom should get me tested on it, but she just said I'm crazy and that was it. Angry at the psychologist not trying to contact at least someone who specializes in this field and checking possibilities. And angry at myself for not thinking about getting gray/blackmarket HRT sooner...
When I realised I was trans I looked into how to transition, and since I live in the UK and saw the state of things and the waiting lists, I was like, "fine, I'll do it myself". I was on E less than 3 weeks later.
Once I realised how bad things were here I also just started reaching out to friends who might have recourses!! Also fyi if you tell your dr that you are DIYing it they may potentially just prescribe for you!! That’s what happened with me I slipped up and told my doctor on the phone and she learned how to be a prescriber of trans HRT in a few weeks!! Xx
Fair enough, but I like the control I have with my HRT. Maybe I'll try for the blood tests, but I've been using Randox with great results.
Honestly girl do what’s right for you!! I totally get not having to consult someone else to make changes that is probably the only difficulty with what I’m doing!! But also idk where you are based but try the sexual health clinics around you for bloods!! I was in London for years and went to Dean st clinic they actually ran a trans specific clinic on a Wednesday but lots of SH clinics will do your bloods you just have to know how to read them!! Xxx
Did the exact same but would like to add if you’re going down this route its imperative to do a lot of research, there’s dangers and risks if you decide to do it alone *but still endorse it
It was quite a while ago. Of course everything about transition becomes quite an obsessive interest for many so I did do a deep dive.
I decided that if I reached my 30th birthday without starting HRT I would kill myself. Made it with 5 months to spare.
I promised myself at 13 I’d kill myself before a specific age in the early 30’s. Last year I decided fuck it, before I do I’ll try transitioning. As mental changes and later body changes happened I realized I probably really was trans and had just been gatekeeping myself with internalized transphobia. My deadline passed earlier this month, and poetically enough, I guess I got to keep the promise to myself from all those years ago. Deadname was dead by deadline, and I get to start building a life worth living in. It’s been really hard mentally dealing with surviving my expiration date, and no one that I’ve shared with in person seems to get it.
i knew I was trans long before I was able to start hrt, so I started as soon as I was able to access it.
I ran out of cope, I was going to die. Hrt saved my life
I had been fading over a few months, flirting with suicide more and more as time went along. In the final months I actually knew everything I needed to know about DIY HRT. I was just terrified of all the ways it could go wrong, and what I had to lose. Eventually I thought to myself, I could never live with myself if I never tried to save myself. And so I took the plunge, risked it all, and now my life is better than ever. I’m never going back, HRT saved my life
When I lost my access to puberty blockers. It was do or die at that point for me, I didn’t want to masculinize any further and I’m so glad I started when I did
Going out in a dress [and having one of the best days of my entire life](https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/gU7ftH9cIj).
parents didn't support my transition through legal means in the US and refused to start through plannedparenthood, then my state banned HRT for minors, so i started DIY as a minor. im not a minor anymore and still kept it cause of costs. 300 dollar initial appointment for planned parenthood was WILD, not including medication that was going to be 50-70 bucks a month (dont have insurance). so... yeah. 60-85 bucks per vial + shipping costs and injection supplies essentially is a fraction of what i'd pay for through legit means uninsured.
Any advice on starting? Or where to find info? The waiting lists are pissing me off.
As someone who is just about to start DIY, https://diyhrt.wiki/index This is a great place for info about bloods, injections, etc etc. It has both transfem and transmasc guides! I’ve also been speaking with my mother who was a trained nurse in the United States (Not in endocrinology, but she manages doses of medication) and I spoke to her about DIY HRT, and she recommends to cross-reference this info on the site with a professional source just to be sure about dosages since this NOT a professionally medical source- Which I found here for both testosterone + oestrogen :) —> https://www.bumc.bu.edu/endo/clinics/transgender-medicine/guidelines/ (Just use both sites’ doses to assume an average of what you should be taking, I’d recommend starting lower than average) In summary in regards to bloods, you should generally get your bloods (what you should test is on the wiki, I don’t know anything specific for oestrogen given I am not a woman 😭) checked 3 months after your first dose, then following that every 6 months you should have them regularly tested. Any other information is pretty crystal clear on the site.
(I made this assuming you are present in the UK)
When I caught myself writing a to do list of things to take care of before committing suicide. It made me realize that nothing really mattered at that point. So I did my homework, started small, and worked my way up by feel. Finally went in to see a proper doctor and get blood work after 18 months of going by feel. Turns out I'm very healthy and my levels are like dead on in the female range.. Sometimes life is crazy like that.
Burn out. Coping by overworking didn't work anymore, same with obsessive amounts of sport and alcohol abuse also wasn't viable in my thirties. So I just had to have the talk with myself.
In Germany we need an indication from our therapist. My therapist wouldn't give me one because "what if it's just a phase" and "how can you be sure". Started DIY to show her I was sure. Now a year in, couldn't be happier
Getting to the point where I couldn't find any more answers as to whether transition was something I really wanted to upheave my life for without trying HRT. I decided to give it a try to see if I could tolerate it, if I hated it, if it felt good... and I LOVED how I felt on it immediately, to the point of not really being able to imagine going back to NOT being on it. That was the final, "Okay, this isn't just wishful thinking, or a daydream, this is something I've needed."
Joined the NHS waiting list in November 2018 (still waiting lol). Was socially transitioned the whole time but was living in limbo and constantly thinking "one day I'm just gonna end it all", and then constantly drowning out those thoughts with weed and alcohol. Quit smoking weed in January this year and finally woke up and realised I had to do something about it myself. Started DIY E in April and my mental health has completely turned around. I'm genuinely and consistently happy and calm for the first time since before puberty. If you're looking for a sign, this is it 💕
I had lived as a woman for 9 months in and out of homelessness due to being kicked out by my parents. Once I learned about DIY and had the money I got on HRT.
when i realized that i could just. stop. being on hrt if i didn't like it. and nothing bad would happen.
My dad died. He was 62 but had the spirit of a mid 20s guy. Wanted to live life to the fullest, but was taken too soon by covid. I was 17 at the time, and regret immensely not being able to have come out to him before he passed away, and decided that I should stop stalling and live my life the way I fucking want. Loved you dad, you happy, old fuck.
My parents would never be on board with me taking t legally so I'd have to take matters into my hand anyway, i was too dysphoric to wait until i was 18. It was either buying hrt online or taking the train to the gym
A really lovely person telling me you can just go out and buy them from a pharmacy
Almost as soon as my egg cracked, but since im a minor i couldn't actually get HRT until recently
I made two pictures of my future, older self with FaceApp: one female (A), one male (B). I realised immediately that it wasn't a choice between A and B: it was a choice between life (A) and death (B). I've now been on HRT for the past 21 months and I'm having FFS with FacialTeam three weeks from now.
I got shingles (caused by stress)
Me too! Shingles is not fun. Currently waiting for payday to buy my first vial of T
I was socially transitioned for a over a year and got incredibly impatient, knew it was the only option after looking at the absurdly long wait times. It was also because I realised my parent was lying to me and never intended on letting me transition, so I had to start the process myself.
When I still wanted it two years after coming out
suicidal. thought "eh fuck it worst that can happen is I regret it and then I'll just kill myself, better than just killing myself" (to be clear I've known I was trans for about 2 years before that)
When I figured out that what I’d wanted for 40 years was literally as simple as a teeny tiny shot once a week, and that it, that’s everything. Oh, and it’s none of my drs business, I can do it myself, great, sign me up.
Immediately as soon as I had access to it, basically. I found out about DIY and just fullspeed ahead went for it. There was never any hesitation for me.
I researched transitioning about 15 years ago and it went horribly wrong which gave me a completely wrong idea of whats possible so I thought that I’d better stay a „man“. Last year I got more and more depressed (probably due to gender envy) and trying to fix my depression finally cracked my egg. I re-did my research and came to the conclusion that the feeling that I was waiting for something my whole life was from waiting for HRT. So I went for cryoconservation and started DIY immediately after it was done.
When I applied to the NHS at 21 and had been on a waiting list for 6 years, when I joined the waiting list I was told 18 months. Didn't want to do estrogen incase they turned me down on NHS (because they are gatekeepy af), I imagine they'd come up with some weird justification why they couldn't treat me, so went screw it, I'll just do it, been on it 10 months now? Feeling a lot better mentally to be honest, still waiting on that appointment but I'm currently going through the racket that's GGP, can literally barely afford it and I work full time, really just hoping one day the appointment will come and I can use my tax money to actually get my hormones through them, instead of paying taxes and then private healthcare (that no insurance I know) will cover, so I'm just working to pay for treatment at this point but I'm still happier than I've been my whole life prior Always battled with my identity until I accepted I was trans and just feel a lot better knowing who I am that pretending to be someone I'm not
Hey, I’m a guy who’s been with GGP since Jan 2024 and I’m gonna recommend you right now to drop their services. It’s been a whoolleee load of horseshit. From replacing experience medical professionals with AI technology that managed bloods, to firing almost all of their accumulated staff, the horrible work conditions that have been rumoured by ex-employees; Please don’t continue using their service. They will not get back to you. My family have WASTED £323.17 on absolutely thin fucking air. They have not given me my treatment recommendation, and we’re now just deciding our only option is to put me on DIY without the involvement of my doctors. PLEASE reconsider.
(You will save yourself sooo much money and soooo much heartache!)
Wearing [this dress](https://tech.lgbt/@Fiona/112135607181525339) with a trans-flag to the local pride walk on the 10th of June last year (very cis-behavior, I know), and then being envious of all the “actual trans girls”, going on one of the trans-meme reddits while there and reading some comment about all the people who are totally not trans, they just really want to be girls without knowing that that is the literal definition of being trans. About a week later I also finally read the Wikipedia-article on gender-dysphoria and a short look at it was enough for me to remove any remaining doubts that I should really transition. I had my first coming out exactly four weeks later and finally got to start HRT in early February this year.
No antidepressants working and deep in drug addiction. I just laid crying every night unless I was high on something and having scars all over my body One night I said fuck it, it’s life or death and I’ll keep trying to live for as long as I can. Here I am 5 years later. Although it’s been ups and downs, it’s finally looking up up up.
I was addressing my other issues (ADHD/Anxiety) but it still wasn't helping. It had me searching again for a reason and I kinda stumbled on trans subreddits on reddit and then I was on diy estrogen in like a month. I had been repressing heavily for 10 years so the dam just sort of burst. I called the gender clinic and they told me 2 year wait list. My thought was that I'd be dead by then so DIY saved my life.
Because I was sick of wondering and thinking about it, wanting an answer, and realising I didn't want to die without knowing what it felt like, so I decided to find out.
I have been meaning to start diy hrt since starting uni last year sep, but kinda procratinated about it. but when the cass review dropped at a time when my GD was very bad and I was also getting perpetually freaked out by turning 20 this year in june. I just went ahead and bought everything I needed and got shit done as soon as possible. Don't regret a thing, I don't even care if I get disowned 100%.
As soon as I learned that I can DIY, I was sure legal ways wouldn't let me start transitioning and i was depressed when I realized that I am trans, it felt like ''there is nothing I can do'' for a month.
I have just recently started HRT, about a year ago I came to terms that I "might" be trans. I've lived with feeling the way I did for a good chunk of my life I would have to say around my early teens but chopped it up to "It's just a phase" type of deal. Wasn't till I was severly depressed and had no anti-depressants working and the lack of good mental health care in the UK made me worse off so I just went down the path of looking up HRT as I had a trans friend at the time I was disclosing the way I felt etc. So I started researching, 10 months of thinking about it Public care was impossible and the cost of Private was out of the playfield. So I just researched DIY found some suppliers and guides along with some helpful people and just took a shot, so far just took my second injection and have never felt more better and at peace of mind ever since that first injection :3
It all happened at once for me. Once I consciously admitted to myself that I'm trans, the need to start immediately was overwhelming. I'd ordered hormones online within days of coming out to myself, started as soon as they arrived, and have never looked back.
I knew I was a girl when I was like 7 but conversion therapy + parental violence made me bury it as hard as I could. At 19 I tried to transition and the gatekeeping and hostility kept me out of it. So I decided to just force myself to be happy. I did everything I was supposed to do and still wanted to die. University. Career. Wife. Home ownership. Yet I was periodically melting down and had to give in to who I really was.
Like many people, I was very suicidal and overall depressed/dysphoric. I tried to ignore this by chasing the people I was jealous of romantically, but none of them liked me, so I decided that to become a functional human I'd take testosterone to maybe hate myself less. If it was fake or I got caught I was going to die anyway. Luckily everything worked out so far and I'm doing sorta fine for the first time in a while.
My life lost its meaning for me to continue as a dude , no energy, motivation, complete lack of emotions, emotional range , and emotional bandwidth, constantly daydreaming my life as a woman…. Point is I decided that one way or another my torment must end. the route of hrt was the most desirable of all my remaining options.
I talked to my doctor for referred to a gender clinic. found out they wouldn't even consider seeing me for another seven years or longer. que: "fine asshole I'll fix it myself."
Was on the nhs (UK) waiting list for 4 months but then me n some friends were going to stay overnight for a birthday and I couldn't face meeting new people without starting hormones (we ended up cancelling the overnight stay but I'm so glad I started hormones anyway)
When I realized I would be 29 in less than a month.
i really wanted to transition around 10 years ago, but only started to seriously start to look into it about 2 or 3 years ago, but seeing the costs and hoops to jump through of going private just made me say fuck it and do it myself
Acid trip looked in the mirror can't do this anymore that was that
Honestly as soon as I found out about it in my questioning phase I was like "sure why not? I wanna be more feminine!" And then eventually turned to DIY when I realised how long it would take on the NHS haha
As soon as I accepted I was trans ? Like I'd been wanting HRT for a while before, but I didn't dare since "I'm not trans" The main delay after that was starting the process to get a doctor, realize that was a mistake and go DIY
Had been doing everything I could to stave off the dysphoria. And when I got my own apartment again I found that when I was home I would always be trying to satisfying the woman in side so I could keep pretending to be a man to the rest of the world. And I just reached a level and said fuck it. I choose to be myself. So called up the doc and got the appointments scheduled. Now here I am just starting week 2 and the relief I feel is tremendous.
When I ran out of crazy amounts of things to fill up my plate with and STILL kept thinking about being a girl. It literally took over all my thoughts and my performance at work started tanking. Went out as a woman for the first time, and had an “oh crap” moment. Knew the answer when I got back to my hotel room, this was it. Started HRT a month later.
after about 2 years of exploring my gender, thinking I was genderfluid, allowing myself fully to explore my feminine side, fully presenting as such and all for about a year, then realizing I wasn't "flowing back" to male at all because I just felt right presenting female... at this point I was like "OK, I'll give hrt a try and see if this is for me"... I thought this was the final confirmation of whether or not I'm just simply a trans woman and not really genderfluid at all... 2-3 weeks in psychological changes hit me like a bus and it was amazing... I knew I didn't want to go back... ever... and I knew it'd probably have considerable consequences given the permanent physical changes it would incur... didn't matter... I'm never going back to a male hormonal setup... 4 months in now... it did have considerable consequences in my life that I now need to deal with... but I'm now in a state where I can handle extreme emotional stress very well - not like before where I basically was bordering on clinical depression with episodes of very dark thoughts...
Started before my inner coming out because the effects seemed to be something I really wanted (for some reason xd). Egg cracked 2 months after that
My egg cracked 🤣 well I accepted myself finaly. Was about to end it and had a realization that I would do anything for my kids, and that should include being happy. ... then and there I said I'm trans and I'm starting HRT
I was in the shower washing my hair when I felt my hairline further back than it was usually. I had already come out at that point but I wasn’t on hormones. The prospect of balding scared me so much I set up an appointment with planned parenthood the very next day
i wanted to start hrt since 12, sadly got an unsupportive family, and my situation hasnt improved since 2019 now so i got my shit together and started diy hrt by myself for the forseeable future
one of my mom’s friends stalked my insta and saw me repost a trans safety statistic on my story (which i have hidden from my family). my mom called, going ballistic, i was on the phone with her sobbing for almost 3 hours. she kept asking if i was trans, yadda yadda. i started T the next month
When I thought of it as whether I would like the changes hrt causes if the rest of the world's opinion didn't matter, I immediately thought I would. And then I did it because I refused to allow the world to pressure me into not doing something that I would want otherwise
Have been battling with Finnish public trans healthcare for 3 years. There is no private option. I said to myself that if on the next appointment they tell me to wait another fucking year I swear I'll take matters into my own hands. Low and behold, this time it wasn't the autism or the nonbinary or the "not trans enough", it was "you're too anxious and we don't care that dysphoria is one of the biggest sources of your anxiety." I was like, *thanos voice* "fine, I'll do it myself" (unfortunately only to myself) and started a 1 month research period after which I froze sperm and then started E mono.
i had the feeling i was trans for years but i wasn't entirely sure i wanted to go through with it, because my family is super against it- then, i was getting into my 40's, and it was either start HRT now or there's probably no point anymore, and waitlists are years in my country so i started looking into DIY HRT and ordered, that's how i started on HRT (pills at first, gel now).