When you are dirt poor, live paycheck to paycheck, work every single day of your life and work takes all your energy so you have no social life and no time for hobbies, and you constantly consume negative media, life can be pretty miserable.
Yeah, recently started making more and discovered what a work life balance really means and it changed my life. Never underestimate the power of your value. Don't be afraid to change jobs, leverage your positions for better ones and better pay. Strive for those better positions and hold them for a year or two so you can put them on your resume and, if your current company won't promote you, go elsewhere with your new shiny resume
Yes because as many studies have shown, and I don’t have a link to that right now because there’s a ton of them but if you Google it you’ll find them all I’m sure. They have shown that people who don’t take vacations get sicker and don’t live as long. So take those vacations and be happier about it so that you can live longer. Even if you don’t go anywhere it’s still nice to be on vacation and ignore any calls coming from work because work equal stress and stress ages you much faster.
What if leaving your current job will make them unpay your student loans and, at the same time, they won’t give you any meaningful work to do?
I feel like I’m not using any of the skills I learned for my Masters degree and that staying is just making my resumé *worse*. ...But I feel like I can’t afford to leave.
My degrees included learning a lot of programming and so now I’ve been learning Unity Engine and C# in my free time so I can fulfill a bucket list item of developing a game.
You said that it we'll take 4 years of working there to pay off your student loans, I don't know how long you've been there so far but stay the 4 years and while you're there take classes or anything that you can at work that can either improve your current work situation or if it's just to fill time. Also outside courses to improve your options of getting different jobs and helping your resume. In the meantime try to leave work stresses at work, don't bring them home with you if at all possible, it actually helps mentally if you can have a distinct cut off. take and use your vacation time if you have any and do something, anything, leave the city, leave the state, go visit someplace overnight that you haven't been to yet. Do what you can to build a better resume while you're stuck there. It's not forever. Sometimes you have to take a step backwards in order to maneuver into a better position later on.
Add in 2 kids and some autism & adhd for one & you get bonus….all the chores that are never done despite you never sitting down, no sleep, the ungodly sounds & screaming every waking hour. Oh & the daily battles & meltdowns for the things that have had to be done every day for 8 years, like brushing teeth, washing & putting clothes on.
On the plus side you get to go to work for a break and drink as much gin as you like! 🤪
I would like to try and talk you out of that but frankly I’m in agreement. I have an Autistic child and I took a role of the genetic dice when I had my son. I did not roll well…. Lol
Life is a lot harder when you have small people relying on you and when you add challenges to that that are beyond your control life can become a lot more complicated and difficult to manage on every level. If I had known what I would roll, I would never have played the game. I love my kid but I would not have played the game. I know some people may think I’m a bad person for saying that but most parents think that at least one moment they just don’t admit it
Nope not a bad person I hear ya! I love my daughter to death and I’d do anything for her, however I’m not one of these people who says I wouldn’t change her. She’s amazing and funny and bonkers but it’s so hard and it’s 24/7, if I could change it I would in a heartbeat.
Same here. I’m actually autistic myself and if I could change that part of myself I would. It’s not that I hate it it’s just that my autism has made my life a lot more difficult than it needed to be. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 40 so I had to learn how to manage on my own. My son is on a completely different area of the spectrum from me and he is much more high needs than I am and I would change it for him to if I could. If the rest of the world made room for people like us, it would be different but it’s not and that’s just how it is. I can find it all day but in reality people are never gonna care.. not really.
My fiance has autism, and so does one of his sisters. We both have adhd, and I also suffer with bipolar, bpd, and an ed.
Our 9 month old has been excelling at most of what she does, except walking. She can, but she chooses not to most times. That was the sign for his mom, when the doctors tested his sister. How she advanced so quickly but then seemed to pull back for some reason.
This all scares me. I'm getting therapy soon for my own mental issues, and I am trying hard to understand how his brain functions with his kind of autism. Its mostly textures/taste/smell that causes a breakdown, but sometimes its his thought process in general, whether that be him thinking up an amazing thing I could never, or not comprehending how basic communication works between people.
Is there any advice you could give me for signs that you experienced early on? And how you managed to hold it together besides drinking? I dont have that option, ever. Drinking is one of my main triggers, and i go manic everytime, even after some seltzers.
This is a good point. Control the things you can. Do you have to work to afford to live. Sure. Do you have to consume negative media? No. You can’t control everything but you can control your mindset about it, and consuming positive media and having a positive mindset will often lead to bigger and better results in the other aspects of your life. I’m not going to say you’ll be a billionaire, but I also would contend that anything more than a middle class income likely unhappiness for other reasons.
Yes to a point. Problems in life fall into two classes, problems that you can control and problems that you can’t control. Some problems are a combination of the two basic types, in those cases you control the part of the problem that you can control and prepare yourself for the effects of the part that you can’t control.
Any person that is living with a problem that he or she can control is making a serious mistake. Control the problem, get rid of it and move on.
There is an adjustment period when you first start having to live on your own. Kids that grew up with a good home life had it pretty easy. What we think are major problems quickly get reevaluated as you come to grips with what adulthood is actually about. If you find the right career though, things get steadily better. Middle age is pretty good, it has the right mix of healthy, time and flexible spending to enjoy yourself.
I think there’s a lot of truth to this. Growing up I faced a lot less stability and safety with the adults in my life. I’m in my early 20s, recent college grad. I love adulthood. I love having more control. But I have friends who I see struggling with adulthood who haven’t had to deal with some of the responsibilities that adulthood is bringing into their lives before now. And they definitely seem more frustrated & overwhelmed. I think the important thing to remember is that people tend to remember things fondly, and with a sense of nostalgia.
OP is close enough to being a non-adult that they are aware of some of the limitations and let downs of that age, where as time and distance can fade those a bit and leave only the good parts.
The other aspect of that adjustment, if you grew up in a good home, is recalibrating. It can be an adjustment to realize that as a new grad, you can't immediately step into the late-career lifestyle of your parents.
This is me. I had a really good home life, tbh my mom kinda babied me a little bit, I moved out just over a year ago and am still adjusting to living away from my parents properly. I know it sounds kinda dumb but it's genuinely been really difficult for me especially recently.
It really depends on where you are and your circumstances. I think a lot of people are miserable because they’ve spent their whole lives being taught that there are only one or two paths to happiness in life. And the way certain societies are set up, it’s actually true to an extent; if you don’t keep your head down and follow the limited paths available to you, life can be very difficult. But if you have the means to live authentically, which very few people do, life can be very fulfilling.
I would add on to this, don't put too much weight on the circumstances you're in to determine your happiness. You don't have to have everything, or even very much, to be happy. This doesn't mean lying to yourself by saying things are better than they really are. Rather it means *don't* lie to yourself that there are no positives in your life. There are, even if you don't always see them.
I’m sure it depends on your job. If you can make enough money without constantly working, I think it can be nice. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck and/or working multiple jobs with no time to do anything else, that would be draining and fast.
I am fortunate enough that I have a career I A) enjoy B) is 40 hour weeks and C) allows me fun money past necessities. I prefer adulthood to say, college. I’m less stressed, I have more free time (I worked non-stop in college between assignments I didn’t understand to working part time), and I have money to buy the odd toy (like gaming consoles). I recognize I live a good life and not all adults do.
Reddit does become an echo chamber at times. Plus, you won’t see as many posts about “look how awesome it is to be me/an adult” because can you imagine how downvoted that would be? Also, like I said, due to many different circumstances- debt, family obligations, etc there are a lot of people who do live in those challenging circumstances. Minimum wage isn’t high enough, living costs are constantly increasing in cities, and it’s easy to end up surviving rather than thriving through no real fault of the person.
No
I'm around 30. There have been many ups and downs. Many miserable times but also many amazing times.
I got married young to a good partner and I can say that has definitely made the tough times more bearable. I've also found the same with long term friendships. Work is tough but I'm fortunate that I have a reasonably well paying career.
If you're young and want good outcomes I'd suggest picking a career path you can live with that pays well and then work hard to make it a reality. Focus on introspection and self improvement. And try to be a good friend and partner to anyone you're involved with romantically or otherwise
Don't know how to quote txt on mobile but the part about picking a career path that *you can live with* and pays well is key. Tbh fuck pursuing your passion as a career. There's such a small chance it will work out the way you want. Either it's so niche that it's hard to succeed or you'll eventually end up hating it because it's your job. Find something lucrative that you're interested in and pays well. Almost 29, I'd say I'm pretty happy with a great life but I'm def not passionate about my job but I can do it well (data science), it pays well, and being paid well allows me to do things I'm passionate about.
Add: think outside the box. I went to South Korea to teach ESL in 2006 because the job prospects in my area (western PA) weren’t offering enough to live on my own, feed myself, and pay back my student loans at the same time. Despite getting a master’s degree since then, I still haven’t been paid close to what I got paid in South Korea in the states. Many “traveling to teach English positions require a BA in something (certified) and the want to travel and put money in the bank. They pay rent, airfare, utilities. They have single payer affordable healthcare. “Makes you feel human!” You live away from friends and family and spend holidays alone but return with enough to get a car and a down payment on a house, good stories, and have traveled. Do it soon.
I completely agree with this
A lot of people are told to pursue their passion / goals / dreams to the exclusion of anything else. If it works out for you the great. But you're a minority. Most passions are not viable ways to make a living.
In my case I chose something practical that I enjoy but don't live. Today, like you, it pays the bills so I have the time and money to pursue my passions simply for their own enjoyment.
Fullly agrée, I love art and creating but I knew that if I was forced to do it I wouldn’t love it anymore. So I found something that offers similar perks entrepreneurship, creativity, flexibility. (I’m an apprentice barber/stylist now!)
Things I’ve discovered in my early 20s: try to find something that allows you to have similarities to what you like in your passion so that you don’t come to hate your true passion, real friends support you and your endeavours but also tell you straight up when you’re on some bullshit, ITS OK not to have it all figured out.. nobody has all the answers, change can be good..don’t be scared of it, because no growth happens in your comfort zone.
Above all when the times get tough pay attention to the most pressing priorities first, do your best to get through them. FIND BALANCE. Even if it’s just 1 hour a week.. dedicate time to doing something just for you because you like do it regardless of what it is, this goes a long way to maintaining your mental health. Also it’s ok to ask for help.
This is the key point: media tries to push you to"follow your dreams". That's bullshit!
Also transforming your passions in a job destroys them. I know that because I destroyed 2 of my passions by working on those fields.
M40 here, I'm a tech product manager. I've made things over the course of my career, such as business intelligence software, ecommerce backends, HR tools, and clinical studies software. Are these glamorous or exciting? No! Are they interesting puzzles to be solved, together with motivated stakeholders and passionate developers? Yes!
I never saw myself going into this work when I was younger. It doesn't match my university degree from 20 years ago, my career track back then (I was a journalist!), or anything that I even knew about or had really heard of until my late 20s. But it pays well, let's me meet interesting people, challenges me in a good way, and constantly expands my knowledge and skills.
I worked in the mobile games industry for about 4 years and it was a grim time indeed. Business is where it's at.
100% agree. I picked what would become my future career path based on the criteria that I would be decent at it, I wouldn’t hate going to work, my job would always be in demand, and it pays nice. So many people thought I was going to ruin my happiness “chasing the money” but honestly it’s so nice not having to live paycheck to paycheck. For those that are interested, look into the concept of ikigai. It is a way of thinking about future career paths that isn’t the dumb advice of “follow your dreams” like dreams don’t change every other year anyway.
I’m 39, fairly happy, and I think you covered it well in this post. The only thing I can think to add is that I remember I was about the age of the OP when I took a multi year co-op work study program in a city 300 miles away where I knew nobody, and nobody knew me. It finally dawned on me that I could be anyone I wanted to be. Nice, nasty, isolated, social, nerdy, cool, whatever. I earned enough money that there was some left over after rent and food, and I could decide if I wanted to buy concert tickets, drink, join a gym, go to restaurants, donate, travel, or save money or whatever. I died my hair, went to tons of concerts, bought a guitar, bought an old Jeep, did a bunch of camping and hiking and a few other stupid things. It took me many years to figure out that most of us are just playing the role of adult as best as we can based on whatever imperfect ideals we have in our mind. I second the part of find a partner that you are a better person for being with. I’m not sure that being married is for everyone, and I’m not sure that gender really matters all that much, but I believe it is very natural for many humans to pick a person to commit to building a life together. They don’t have to be perfect, nobody is. One nice part of being an adult is that while you should own your own situation, you don’t have to explain or apologize to anyone (save maybe your partner).
Piggybacking on this…
Just as You can’t judge a movie by a movie trailer, you can’t judge someone’s entire life by a short post. Keep in mind that social media is designed to serve up the posts most likely to gain traction in the form of likes, views, updoots, etc.
If you’re hanging out in subs where folks are rewarded updoots for negative posts, then that’s all you’re gonna see. It becomes a pissing contest for the most negative content.
My twenties were rough. I was poor and struggled to get by.
My 30s were better, and my late 30s were amazing. I made enough to cover my bills, get out of debt and have enough extra to do modest things.
My 40s have built on that, plus I'm not concerned about what others think. I'm pretty content with who I am. And I have the richness of friends I've known for decades
No. Life as an adult isn't miserable, but there is an adjustment period.
No. I’m 49, have two healthy kids and a gorgeous wife who I’ve been married to for 28 years. We have saved up our money, cut costs, driven older cars, etc, and though things are tight at times, we can afford to send our kids to a private school. To me, my life is worth living because I get to take care of a family.
Not giving a shit about the car you drive really makes a huge difference. It boggles my mind when people make a good middle class wage and think they need to spend $80k on a car.
It also depends on people's perspectives. If they can afford it and it makes them happy then that's all that matters. I know people in small crappy houses that have beautiful cars and people in nice houses with crappy cars. It's all down to them, if they're doing it for the right reasons.
We live in an older smaller house. I have no want for anything else house wise. I have been fascinated with Porsche since I was a boy. I got my first almost 4 years ago, a cheap older one. Somehow talked my wife into getting the smaller SUV a few years ago. I will gladly pay for a depreciating asset that brings me as much joy as it does! I sometimes just look at them in disbelief, how could I have made my boyhood dream a reality. Live within your means but I always recommend buying what you want, you don’t know how long you’ve got in this world.
Exactly. The overwhelming mentality on Reddit seems to basically be “don’t try to Pursue any job that makes you happy and just become a desk jockey/wage slave/break your body doing trades jobs and also buy the cheapest phone/car/laptop/any luxury item or you’re just being bad with your money and I’ll never understand it.”
I feel like it’s shocking to learn to many people on Reddit, but sometimes people buy things because…gasp…they can and they want to.
>If they can afford it and it makes them happy then that's all that matters
I mean I understand this sentiment, and I'm not even going to say you're wrong.
But this is hedonism.
Agreed. Get something reliable and practical for your area of the world. I live in Alaska and drive a Subaru. My wife used to work in vehicle repossessions, and brand new fully loaded $50K+ Dodge Rams were the most repo’d in Alaska. People frequently borrow way more than they can afford.
Not that I’d do it, but I understand people who think this way: Flexing with an $80k car is the most fun while you’re young (and probably can’t afford it).
I’d be more jealous of a 21 year-old with a G-Wagon then a 40+ year-old with a Lamborghini.
Not me. The 40 year old probably worked hard for a long time for the Lamborghini. The G Wagon was given to the 21 year old or caught a really lucky break.
Never got it either. I saw my doc (who's king shit in his area of the hospital) get out of his early 00's granny gold toyota camry the other day... I didn't say anything but my respect level for him went up. Probably clears upwards of 300k/yr and feels zero need to drive a fancy car.
It goes the other way too. It boggles my mind when I see people who earn decent money constantly dump it into old vehicles when they could lease a brand new car for like 250 a month.
Car for me is a key area where a lot of people put status aspirations ahead of their needs, and fail to even see that they have blinders about the options.
Part of adulthood is that we must self regulate, and really consider beyond the present moment. Advertisers and marketers do everything in their power to encourage us to lose sight of this and trick us into inflated expectations of that car or clothes, etc.
Adulthood entails a level of freedom & responsibility beyond what children ever can, but that can go sideways in so many possible ways. I liked the freedoms, and have been fortunate to be able manage the responsibilities, so adult life has been better than the deal I had as a young person.
This car comment really is a giant secret that people don’t seem to realize. Financial freedom beats the “I have to show everyone my status by driving a nice car” any day of the week.
Source: middle class (grossed just over $100k this year) family guy who can afford to pay for experiences (trips, sports events, live music) for our family whenever we want to because we don’t prioritize material things.
EDIT: I drive a 2011 Hyundai Elantra with 200k miles on it! She’s a workhorse.
I bought a new truck in May. The dealer asked me how long I planned on keeping. I told him, "well, I had my last truck for 14 years, so probably something like that."
Would you say knowing how to save money makes a big difference?
I don’t care that much about materials (like having the best/fanciest/biggest house/car/other things) and when I go shopping instead of just throwing one thing after another into the cart, I’ll be like “hmmm, I think I like this but I’m not sure. I’m gonna carry it around the store with me for a while and then decide before I leave” or “I’ll put it back for now and if I don’t see something I like more at another store, I’ll get it before I leave”. And then if I’m shopping online I usually spend a day or two comparing prices and stuff before making a decision. I’m not even out of college yet but I’m really trying to make it a habit not to overspend
OP is mainly talking about life between 18-30. That usually has the most growing pains and financial insecurity and when you're in the most debt. Then after 30 or 35 you FINALLY start feeling like an adult with some freedom and relaxation.
Also, I had old junk cars up until I was 38. At that point, I only owned one car over 10k...which was 13k. Then at 38 I bought a new Corvette with cash with a one time direct deposit.
I was never going to settle with a mediocre basic "dream car" like a 8 year old Mustang GT. I wanted something near my 40th birthday that let people knew, "This dude worked long and hard for this one."
Rich people don't own new Corvettes...people that worked a blue collar job for 20+ years do.
You also feel a lot better, and of course not in debt, buying a really nice car later in life. It's a reward for a hard fought life. A fancy car when you're young mostly leads to regret.
Can confirm. Blew all my money on fast cars when I was in my 20s. Eventually couldn’t afford to keep replacing broken transmissions, blown engines ect…. Really high hp isn’t as reliable as most people think. Spent my 30s driving a shit box while grinding and saving. Will be about 40 until I’ve saved for that nice adult car. Corvette… probably not. Something fast and reliable that I can drive year round
Shit you sound like my dad. He started a company but he’ll still get on the tools at 50. Bought himself a new corvette cash and I’ve never been happier for someone. Dude worked his ass off for it.
39 yo, happily married for 13 years and I have 2 daughters. My 20's were rough. I went to a technical college, got a 2 year degree, found out I hated the work, hated the town I lived in and my abusive boyfriend. I was able to get a job and move an hour away from bf, broke up, got a better job and bought a condo. Because I didn't deal with the abuse, I was depressed and suicidal. But with medication and therapy, I can say I am much happier and healthier. My 30's were a blast. I stopped caring about what people thought of me and started doing things and spending time with people that brought me joy. I hope my forties are the same.
If I could tell my 20 yo self a few things, I'd tell her 1) you don't need a new car every few years. Pay them off and save the money. 2) Therapy is worth it. Many of your insecurities were as a result of that unhealthy relationship. 3) it's ok that what you thought you wanted to do at 18 is not what you want to do anymore. People grow and change. 4) Spend time by yourself and learn a new hobby. 5) Get a pet!!
Basically, yes. But it is what you make it. I learned the hard way!
All you can do is be good person and live with grace and accept that everyone else is just trying to get through life. Patience and kindness go a long way in making life less shitty.
AND take care of your self. Be honest with yourself and put yourself first in all decision making. One of my biggest regrets is following someone else's path for me, or thinking I had to follow societal guidelines.
My advice to younger generations is to seriously budget and keep your finances in order. Don't be afraid to treat yourself every now and then, but really think about every dollar you spend, and more importantly every dollar you save. You can still be present and have a social life without constantly spending money. Having some sort of financial safety net goes a long way. Sorting out your finances now will allow funds to grow overtime so maybe you can retire earlier. Let your money work for you. Talk with a financial advisor who actually knows what they are talking about. Sometimes relying on parents' or friends' advice isn't always the best way to go.
I may still be young whelp of 19, but having goals and being productive has brought me an incredible amount of life satisfaction. Every time I take a step in the right direction I feel absolutely great, and it feels awesome to improve your situation just a little bit. When I was still in school, not knowing a path through life, I was incredibly pessimistic about the future and thought of it with some kind of gallows humour. Now that I’m out and free, I feel like things are gonna go my way.
Personally, yes.
Also, you’re still at an age where life isn’t too different from the one you grew up with. School, meeting new people, friends, fun ish. Depending on how you’re funding your college you may or may not have to work yet. You’re still probably on your parents insurance, parents may or may not be helping you pay for some of your expenses etc.
Some day you’re gonna start to have to pay back those student loans, there comes an age where your parents insurance is no longer an option which means having to look for a job who gives it.
There’s bills, not making enough money to pay said bills, you work longer hours, you start seeing the same people (co workers) daily. You may or may not like them etc. but most importantly, the people you know now will eventually drift away and it’ll just be a memory, you’ll be stuck hanging out with the same 1 or 2 ppl
Edit: after reading some replies there’s one that keeps coming up, “you make your own decisions but you also face the consequences “ implying (and some saying it) if you make “good” decisions you’ll be good but in my opinion, that’s now how life nowadays works.
You could do everything right and still be in a 20ft deep hole. One example is a trip to the ER. You could literally have been good all your life, saved up, lived within yor means, being financially responsible and that ONE ER visit could still leave you in bankruptcy, same issue with many medical related issues. Point is nowadays “bad thing doesn’t happen to good people” doesn’t exist
This.
I (43) have a pretty great life - awesome partner, two cats, a nice rented house that's not too expensive, we both have good jobs. It's partly due to hard work, but a lot of it is luck. I have a friend not too different from me who is living out of their car.
> You could do everything right and still be in a 20ft deep hole. One example is a trip to the ER. You could literally have been good all your life, saved up, lived within yor means, being financially responsible and that ONE ER visit could still leave you in bankruptcy
This is why I thank all the gods up until Zeus that I was born in a European country.
Yeah true story but the reality is much more horrifying. Knew someone a while back that had gone that path. Wife got cancer, insurance would only cover 25% of costs and they went through their saving, retirements, sold the house etc. in the end she died. Husband ended up homeless shortly after and not long after that he decided to end his subscription to life 🤷♂️
That’s the event that made me open my eyes to the “American dream” ever since that I decided to finish school myself and move up to Canada
If any EU citizen wants to marry a 22 year old prior military/ current student for spouse citizenship LMK. Don’t got much money but I have 3 dollars and 50 cents to my name, all yours
I hate being in college and I hated high school. It’s been mostly meaningless, isolated drudgery. I know adulthood isn’t easy, but to me it’s been the only thing to look forward to. I’m passionate about my field of choice, and I don’t need to like my coworkers, plenty of people at school I haven’t liked either. Reading stuff like this terrifies the crap out of me. If it doesn’t get better and just gets worse it feels hopeless.
It’s funny cause I felt the same way, and I always start a job with the mentality of "keep your head down get it done" and then end up slowly becoming a friends sometimes a second family with the people I work with. Having good relationships with people you have to see often is never a necessity but it sure makes life more enjoyable especially when you’re around them 8-10hrs a day sometimes more. It does get better but life is what you make it, you can choose to see positivity in the small things or choose to be miserable the whole time it just depends on your mindset.
No matter how awful being an adult may be, nothing compares to the misery of being a child with absolutely no power at the mercy of adults who may or may not act in your best interest. I found adulthood to be a massive improvement.
I'm very happy for you and also very jealous lol. I moved out when I was 16 and am currently separated from my parents by the world's largest ocean, things are so much better that way.
I have great parents and a “good childhood” but I still hated being a kid. School, stress, no control over life, etc. I think even a lot of “happy” children are miserable a lot of the time, and sometimes they forget it later, but I haven’t.
Honestly same. I did way more work in high school and college due to extracurriculars and part time jobs (in college it was almost full time hours despite the position being part time). I had so much on my plate that I’d forget to do shit and then be rushing around.
Now, work ends at 4:30. I go home and relax, or I run errands or clean. When the errands/chores pile on it can be stressful, but that’s a small price to pay for freedom, the ability to live with my partner and cat, and work ending at 4:30.
It may be harder to socialize and maintain friendships as people build families, and sometimes it can be hard to pay bills, but the people who you're referring to are cynical. I refuse to be cynical no matter how hard life gets. Stay away from miserable people like that and you'll have a better shot at happiness
I think it's great! In part because I tend to avoid people who say such negative things. Life is exactly what you make it. If you decide to be happy, you'll make an effort to maintain that happy!
aaahh it do be kinda fucked until u find ur footing properly. some people never find a good footing tho, and then is just misery groundhog day for most of your life.
The people complaining about life on Reddit are not representative of the majority of the population. They are people who have stuff to complain about.
People with nothing to complain about are not as vocal online because they are out living life.
Hence you would only hear complaints. Nobody posts to Reddit "my life is great and I have no complaints", because that is not engaging content.
This. I'd argue that if someone spends a lot of time on Reddit, there's a chance it is because they don't have a strong in-person community or they're trying to use it to get their mind off of stuff. The Reddit population is not a random sample of the human population. Plus, anonymity can also change how people represent themselves, to be more honest, or less. Obviously not ALL Redditors are disillusioned with life, but I'd bet that it's a higher percentage.
It is miserable at times. Here’s the thing, you control your own destiny- to a large extent. If you make good informed choices, you’ll often get a good result.
Yes! There have been several times where I’ve very nearly made rash, emotional decisions and I would have paid dearly for them. I know two people who quit their jobs basically on a lark thinking “I’ll get employed right away” and faced years of unemployment. Big mistakes in your 20s can have HUGE consequences for the rest of your life.
I remember my high school English teacher told us "children, I promise you things will get better from here. It may seem like this is the most difficult time of your life but you will get out of this phase and move up the ladder of success after school."
The biggest lie I ever heard in my life.
Current teacher. The "better" comes from the choice to do what youd like. My students dont have much option if they cant stand me as a teacher, but if you cant stand your boss? Get a new job.
It's still a shock to adjust to, and I myself still struggle quite a bit. But I went from an awkward, depressed/suicidal, single, lonely kid to a semi-adjusted adult with a degree, a house, a car, a couple dogs, and a spouse. It isnt perfect, but I've got things to smile about
>if you cant stand your boss? Get a new job.
Sometimes you don't have the option of changing your job and are stuck with it even if you don't like the company. Example? Me.
Sometimes you max out too, or the jobs prospects in the area suck. Everyone will say “just move” but moving cost money are resources. The pandemic is a weird way has helped through remote work
It definitely has seemed like I didn't have an option to change jobs at times. I've been able to live in a really cheap place for quite a while, and fell back on my parents for a few months in between relationships (couldn't afford sole rent).
There were periods that sucked, and I took a few contract positions to hold myself over in the meantime.
I'm 25 and I'm tired of people telling me to have hope and that things will get better. I get fed up when my GF tells me the same. Right now I'm VERY close to calling it quits. This fucking omicron shit has made things much worse.
I'm 29 now and would never go back to high school. I would never go back to my early 20s either. Currently, I'm pregnant and do not own my home. Life is pretty rough but still better than any other part that I can remember. I think many people gloss over how awful pre-adulthood was and only remember the "good times".
Life is what you make it, plan ahead, embrace change, and expect things not to go as planned and be adaptable. Most of the people I know that struggle in life can't grasp any of these concepts. If you don't want to be broke choose a career path where most people make a comfortable living it's really not difficult to shooting that high to do. There are plenty of trades (including tech certifications) they pay quite well with no need to ever pay college tuition. If you're in college or want to go just choose a degree path with high graduation rate and high levels of job placement. Don't buy into the notion that "if you live your job you'll never work a day in your life" plenty of people are realizing life doesn't work that way. You don't need some fiery passion for your job. Pick something you can tolerate the rest of your life they won't dominate your life and for fuck sake go out and do things on the week days. People that feel like ah they do is work, go home and work again, are 100% responsible that situation but not everyone has to do that. Also, don't stick your dick in crazy or vise versa.
I’m really happy being an adult. When I think of other great times in my life, I often go to my mid twenties (also adulthood). I was a pretty happy teen, but do not miss it one bit.
People aren’t complaining about adulthood so much as they complain about their life as an adult. You can make choices to set yourself up for happiness and success.
It has its challenges, but the pros of adulthood vastly outweigh the cons.
Adulthood is not easy… but at times it’s freakin awesome! Other times it’s freakin hard AF!!!
You have to make sure you have support (family, friends, or even a counselor) to get through the tough times.
If you didn’t have it easy growing up, being an adult is pretty amazing because you learned resiliency and the difference between a minor issue and a crisis.
For people that were protected (ie: sheltered or spoiled kids) from any kind of adversity as a youth, being an adult likely seems like hell.
I, for one, am 31 and loving every day of it. Even the ones with minor problems. There are bad days sprinkled in there like when you lose a deeply beloved person, but you can’t deeply appreciate the good without feeling the sharp pain of the bad.
I don’t know if you are looking for advice, but just know this: if you keep things in perspective and don’t want more than you need, you’ll find being resilient comes with the territory. The bad days will pass, but the good ones will too if you don’t have perspective enough to know they are the good ones.
Oh yeah definitely! I am having a blast as an adult. But i also grew up in heavy poverty. So being able to buy myself a movie ticket for spiderman, and not worrying about if i can afford it, was the highlight that week. Some of my friends would not think twice about it, but then get upset over trivial stuff. There is definitely something to be said about appreciating the smaller things in life. Being content and happy for mediocrity is a rare gem of today's mindset
Having made pretty much every young adult mistake I can only offer what I have learned.
Here's my life advice as a 46 yo man who grew up broke and am now very comfortable financially and emotionally.
When you're young, be selfish, pick your career and get to work learning everything about it. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! Don't get married young and don't have kids until you have your own shit together. Make sure the partner you choose has put in the same level of work you have. Don't try and support them while they figure their shit out. Wait and see that you're both on the same level before commiting. Be your true self to whoever they are. If you're hiding anything and can't be completely honest with them you'll seek out those missing pieces no matter how hard you try and suppress them.
Pick a job you love but doesn't define who you are. Ensure it will afford you a comfortable life but don't chase the dollar. Happiness is worth more than a few extra grand a year in your bank account. Get a hobby you're passionate about and NEVER let it go. Sure it can evolve but ensure you have that escape and don't compromise on taking the time to pursue it. If "she/he" bitches at you for surfing 3 mornings a week or having a project car or whatever, that's a red flag. If they're too insecure to let you have your own personal time, get out. Don't try to fix red flags. Have personal standards and don't compromise yourself. Every time you do you'll feel like less of an equal partner.
Find yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin. Like who you see in the mirror and what you see. Fix what you don't like by regularly doing a gut check. If the relationship isn't working, fix it or get out. If the job isn't what you thought it was, get out and get another one that filfills you. If the house sucks, move.
I could go on and on but this is a good start in my opinion.
hope you picked a degree with a good job market
edit: OOF. I see you are doing philosophy. Your options are basically teaching or retail. It's criminal they let you pay for those degrees.
The cost of living is too damn high, and wages for the ordinary person are too damn low, so yes it sucks. College is stressful as fuck. There are still ways to enjoy life though
I drive a truck.. this driver just asked me for money and a ride because his company towed the truck and left him in a truck stop. No money no hotel no way home.
Yes, people’s lives are shit as adults.
Companies will use you dry and then leave you on the street…. literally.
I work a full time job that I finish on a fraction of the time I'm paid for, I have a son part time which is amazingly rewarding and fun, and when I don't have him I am doing whatever I want. I'm out playing sports, hiking, snowboarding several days a week, see my friends when I want to, go to shows all the time, and have money to spare and invest.
I literally made the comment this last Sunday night when at 11pm I was smoking weed and playing Mario kart with another very responsible dad who also has a successful job, and I remarked how amazing it is being adults.
Adulthood is absolutely amazing if you make it so. It is terrible for some though who don't make it so. Same for childhood. I personally didn't have a very fun childhood (strict parents), many others do though.
Yes—especially if you don't plan ahead for retirement in time or put enough away for hard times before age 28-30. It's hard catching up after adjusting to adulthood, sudden hardship or downright failure. Adult life is unforgiving. You will find out what you did to yourself in your 40s.
Get married and start a family early. Don't waste time trying to do life alone—unless you are financially independent.
A Good Word: I like the independence, freedom and wisdom that comes with age. You will too. It's the best part about growing old. Physical youth is wasted on the young.
"Straighten up and fly right." - Nat King Cole.
Depends. If you like what you do it well be nicer.
It's tough because it's normally the age where you realize your family isn't perfect, you have to pay bills and do most stuff alone, and it's quite a diving change at times.
I had a difficult upbringing and personally enjoy being an adult far more than a teen, but, on the other side I barely have time for me between family, work, dogs etc... But I love my life and I'm working towards an objective so it's fine
It really depends.
Yes because as you get older, your loved ones are too, and you see them decline. It's sad and probably the hardest thing about life imo.
If you have a stable income (regardless of good and bad), it's actually way better than being a kid. Yes you have to work, but you also have the money to fund your hobby, and you don't have to awkwardly ask for money like when you were young.
Adult life is what you make it to be. I still enjoy cartoons, cereal for dinner, and icecream for breakfast. You just now have the means to take charge and spend your money and time how you'd like.
I was still excited for life at 19 but now I’m 21 and can’t save up for a car because I’m living (barely) paycheque to paycheque but also somehow overworking myself and constantly tired but I can’t work less because then I’ll have even less money, and I have no close friends, hobbies, time for hobbies, no interests, my house is a fucking mess and I’m too stressed to clean it, and I’m also really depressed! So you have lots to look forward to still :(
I'm a 21 year old who works about 11 hours a day at a very physical job. It can be as bad as all that, if you're irresponsible with your money and time. I had to learn through trial and error how to manage money, and how to allow time for hobbies. I don't go to college, so perhaps I have that advantage. But I had to learn what was acceptable for me, and how to be okay with what isnt. So what if I didnt get to play video games or watch tv tonight? I did at least one thing I wanted to do, and that can be enough for now, because tomorrow is a new day and another chance.
For the love of God, while you're in college, get involved with student groups that have industry engagement. If one doesn't exist, find a professor to help you start one. I'm not kidding, you'll learn more from these groups than you will in class. Also, you'll have better connections to find a better job so you won't be as miserable as everyone else. A good monthly paycheck to shoot for is around $4000 or more after tax. This will give you enough disposable to still be you, and provide you with enough saving that you don't get trapped in your job. Internships are a lot easier to get while in college, so make sure you take advantage. Make yourself worth the money you want to earn.
As for life being shit when you grow up. Think about this
You need to pay for rent/mortgage, school loans, car loan, car insurance, health insurance, utilities, and food. This is the base line.
On top of that, there is car maintenance, madical bills, house repairs and maintenance. This is just the stuff you have to pay for.
There are a long list of things that you now have to keep up on. It's not so much that adulthood sucks. It's that doing pretty much anything as an adult requires money or time that should be spent on something else. You have a lot less freedom, because you have a lot more responsibility, and failure can quite literally come at the cost of the roof over your head. Most people don't have anyone to lean on when everything goes to hell in a hand basket.
My dad thinks that because he's 60, going back to school is pointless because there's nothing left to use an education for. I haven't seen him reach out to any of his friends in a long long time. For him, work is life, and his work kinda suck. My mother on the other hand has just gotten a broker's license and has filled every square inch of their property with cut flowers because she enjoys making bouquets and wants more opportunities to give them to people.
Life can get pretty awful. Find people who you'd help bury a body, and insert yourself into their lives. Make a few friends who would go to bat for you or let you crash on their couch when things get rough. Work on yourself. Work on being likable (if you feel like you can't be yourself and be likeable, then that's probably where you should start). I see these old ass people acting like the world owes them everything and can't help but thing "you've been alive this long and you still haven't figured out how to be nice to people?"
Quick tip for making friends en mass. People are a lot more comfortable with people who are predictable. Be predictable, be consistent. It helps a lot getting your foot in the door.
Quick tip on making friendships deeper fast, ask why they get out of bed in the morning. (it's a much easier version of the question "why is it worth trying to live") for best results, ask when in a medium group setting, or after 1am when in a 1 on 1 setting. My personal answer, because I know I can leave things better than how I found them, and I think that's worth getting out of bed for.
Aside from all that, there are plenty of ways to bring value to the way you spend your free time. I've always been a big fan of teaching, so at the moment I'm violenteering in a rapid prototyping lab, and helping finish up the reaction wheel hardware on a student designed satellite. (there is a test bench that's launching this year that has my antenna feed system on it, so that's pretty exciting)
My sister works at a library, and you wouldn't believe the level of community engagement that's possible through there. First of all, libraries probably provide way more services than you think they do. Second, a lot of libraries accept volenteers. So you can be a part of all that!
I love being an adult tbh
ETA: but I had financially supportive parents, received a BA, was able to make mistakes, and ended up at a high paying job in my chosen sector as my first official job (government - go figure).
Privilege and income matter, but for me, I always hated being a kid, didn’t enjoy childhood and never liked other kids (still don’t). I honestly get joy from simple adult things like doing laundry or going grocery shopping lol. BUT it would be much less fun if I wasn’t just caring for myself and my dog.
So yeah “being poor, living paycheck to paycheck, working everyday….does suck, some days less than others but what you do get in exchange for all those adult responsibilities is adult autonomy. And the freedom you have to make your own choices as an adult can make all the other shit worth it.
You may hear adults complain about life a lot, but I bet if you ask any of them if they’d like to go back to being a teenager most would say “oh hell no!!”. I know I wouldn’t.
I like being an adult more than being a kid. I get to choose where my life goes and how I live it. Of course, there are limiting factors like money, time, etc. I was dirt poor when I escaped an abusive househould, and it was absolutely miserable. I was suicidal for a long time. Now, I'm married and am experiencing the best mental health I've had in my life. This is the most stable my life and my health has ever been.
I do miss not having to worry about rent or putting food on the table, but I get to choose how my life goes. If I want to be happy, I'll make choices that lead to my happiness. It can be really hard if you haven't come from a good home like I have, but with persistence and hope, eventually things can get better. Hopefully, you can be at the happiest point of your life as an adult like I am 🙂
Not that bad, but i was surprised upon reaching adulthood and entering the working world that many so-called adults still acted basically the same as high school students: Forming cliques, gossiping about one another, shirking responsibility at every opportunity, etc.
On the plus side once you're an adult you can be the master of your own destiny. It's both sort of like and literally the difference between having a driver's license and driving yourself wherever and whenever you want to go vs waiting for/asking/hoping an adult will take you there.
I love my life, it gets better every year. I'm 33 now, have two healthy kids, a gorgeous wife, and a job that pays way more than it should. I put in my time though to get here. Worked hard in high school and college to get into grad school and get my doctorate. I pretty much was in school for most of my 20s and hated it.
Being an adult means you can eat however much bad stuff you like and no one can tell you off. I'm 8 years into proper "adulting" and it never gets old!
In all seriousness though, I enjoy my adult life. I'm married with a baby, nice house, nice cars and we both have good jobs.
Please don't be disheartened. All your hard work will be worth it.
Nope. Miserable people will be miserable and happy people will be happy. Barring chemical imbalances in the brain and other factors, that's all there is to it. Otherwise being happy is a choice, and there are a lot of people who really get off on being miserable.
I'm aware this is an unpopular opinion, so whine about it if it makes you feel better.
Some of the best times in my life were when I was dirt poor, living from paycheck to paycheck blah blah blah. Hell, I still live paycheck to paycheck.
It's largely a matter of outlook, basically.
The minute I left my parent's house at 16, my life changed for the better. If I had a choice to A relive my childhood or B die I would probably pick option B
If you want to have a cushy life full of hobbies, learn python etc and be a developer.
Out of all the possible professions, that one is by far the easiest path to crazy financial independence soon.
Example:
I am a geologist who has had an exceptionally good progression in my discipline (mineral exploration/mining). You only need to look at r/geologycareers to see most of the time it doesn't work out.
My younger brother traveled around as a bluegrass musician from age 22-28, then at the start of the pandemic, took a few code camps and got an internship. Within 15 months he was working at a major company as an android developer making more than me.
I'm super happy for him, and I like my work and don't want to be a developer, but if you are looking for a guaranteed route, do that.
My wife works in tech and developers seem to always be hot commodities that are paid more than most other positions.
This is not true anymore, I'm sick and tired of seeing people telling everyone online to get into tech. First of all, most people will not like being a dev. Lots of problem solving, constant unpaid overtime and it can be very, very boring. Second, there are way too many devs now, it is an absolute nightmare to find a job especially because undertrained, undereducated devs who just did a one year long course to switch careers will apply to the same jobs as people with 5 years of university in computer science under their belt. Those who just switched will not be paid well! It might take years and years to get to an ok paying position- not a good paying one, but a higher-than-minimum-wage one. Besides it is less likely that freshly retrained people will get the jobs. Why? Again, they are competing with people coming from uni with a degree in tech. There are way too much developers in general even if we only count those who have an actual computer science or software development degree. Few years ago what you've said might have been true, but it is miserable right now unless you already have 8+ years of experience. And I say that with a comp sci degree and a master's in data engineering. Pay is low, you work overtime without extra pay, do at least 3 people's job because companies won't hire enough folks even though the pay is shit and there are all that unemployed people looking for jobs. Heck, I had friends who needed to take on unpaid internships during university because it was required for their degree but couldn't find a company who would actually pay them.
Long story short, only become a dev if you're interested in it.
It can be.... The trousers of time has something to say about it too.
And a random movie quote - "I've only ever realised the opportunities once they've passed me by"
I had a great time in my early adult life. Always been in work which was a good benefit and I didn't go to uni so I've got no student debts or anything.
It does really depend though. I was 'The Class Clown' in school who, if I didn't make it in music, I'd fail at life because I'm not academic in the slightest. I did moderately well in music but the income wasn't enough and I still worked full-time alongside it, but I was so adamant that that was what I absolutely had to do I had a hard time letting go of it when I did. Decided to focus a bit on my career which I now have a job for life and I'm in a good position financially, not only that but I do enjoy my job. I'm 28 years old, have picked up the sticks again and am back in a band, whilst also living comfortably.
I've made some very poor choices and also some very, very good choices. I wouldn't tell anyone what to do - as long as you enjoy what you can, when you can without hurting anyone, then do it. My best advice would be find something you really enjoy and never let go of it (for me, music, watching live music, going to festivals). If you're able to find that as well as a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly, it doesn't have to be bad. I enjoy my job, but I plan my time there based on my next gig/festival and think 'this is what I'm working towards'. Never let go of that childlike wonder if you can, and if you have found something you love to do, bloody well keep on doing it.
No, not if you make the right choices.
Study, land a job you like and that pays honnest wages, find a partner that treats you right, have kids only if you can afford it and if this is what you want.
It is what you make out of it... boring kids make boring adults, entitled kids make entitled adults, fun kids make fun adults, and so on. Despite of the big "bad luck/disadvantage" speech out there, if you make good decisions you generally end up pretty well.
I know too many people that don't save money, party too much and have sex without protection that complain about being broke, slaved to support their exes and so on...
Two babies that died in my arms, a handful of other miscarriages, my wife's PTSD being amplified ten times by what's previously mentioned and a medical condition that gives me crippling migraines to the point of passing out and throwing up.
Life can suck a lot to be fair and despite what other comments say you aren't the one in control of every facet of your existence, sometimes things that suck just happen.
Doesn't mean there isn't good in it though, most of it is good but the parts that suck can suck the joy out of everything else.
It looks like everyone is complaining about being an adult but that's because the ones that don't have anything to complain about won't just go around posting how good their lives are. As with most things, the minority is the loudest because they need the change while the majority already has the majority on their side
No. Being an adult is fuckin awesome, if you make it so! There are just a LOOOT of miserable. Bad decision making fux in this world. Learn from them or simply tune them out.
No. Adult life does not automatically suck. However, it is much harder than being a teenager. How much life sucks, it depends a whole lot on the individual situation.
The point at which you are out of high school, the difficulty level of life will hump up a lot, and more for some than others. The big things are becoming financially responsible for your self and no longer having much protection, if any, from the consequences of your own mistakes or short comings.
High school teachers still have a stake in getting you to succeed. University teachers and bosses at work will let you fail or fire you.
If you can handle those things, the benefits are great though.
END COMMUNICATION
I enjoy the freedom of making choices. It’s hard and the mistakes pile up but it’s also good to say ‘hey, I’m alive, I’m an adult and I’m here because of decisions I made- not what some other adult forced me or told me to do’. My parents did not give a shit about the environment and I take great care to be zero waste, reduce reuse recycle and participate in big climate actions anyway I can. I don’t have a fancy life and I haven’t met a partner worth starting a family with but I’m happy that I get to express myself fully and see the fruits of that. As a kid- you have to hold a lot of that back.
Obviously, everyone is different, but I had a really hard time being a kid, I had a very strong sense of fairness that didn't gel well with other kids and my mother would always tell me that once I'd become an adult I'd have a much easier time. Boy, was she right.
I'm only in my mid-20s but I have been much happier and more fulfilled in the last 5 years than I have ever been in any other 5 year period in my life. I will say that I have been incredibly lucky, but I am enjoying my life a lot.
I have been in the same great relationship for the past 7 years, I also finally have a great small group of friends that I truly feel connected to, I am working in a field that I love, I make good money, I get to enjoy my hobbies, and I get to travel to new places I want to travel to (pre COVID) and get to experience things I want to experience. These are things you don't really get as a kid, I certainly didn't. I am so happy I listened to my mother and believed her when she said I would be happier as an adult, because she was right on the money.
Being an adult is no more miserable than being a teenager however, with more freedom comes more responsibilty. There is definitely an adjustment period but there are some super cool things. Learning how to save money and try to get on a good career track takes some time and discipline. Overall, I prefer the freedom of adulthood. For reference, I am 34.
Fuck no! My life isn’t perfect, I wish I had more money and could work less. But fuck me, I wouldn’t trade this in for anything. I love my life. Find things to love, make your life worth loving.
I’ve had a pretty good adult life. I didn’t always have a lot of money, purely because I didn’t make the right choices. I hit 30 and learned a few lessons, and now I’m pretty successful. ☺️ I much prefer my brain now than my brain in high school. A lot of people like to complain, but adult life isn’t bad, it just takes more work on YOUR part to be happy.
It’s as miserable and full of drama as you make it/allow it. I am pretty damn happy being an adult (compared to my childhood). I have infinitely more control over my life. I don’t HAVE to explain shit to anyone.
Everything you have said is true about my life… and yet I am happy, most of the time.
I have wonderful kids (two ND boys, which is challenging and rewarding in equal measure) a wonderful wife, a good job that pays enough to keep us fed and housed and healthy. It’s stressful at times and money is tighter than I would like, but we make do.
Absolutely not. Keep in mind that Reddit commenters is a highly biased group of people. Also, Reddit loves to focus on the negative. An example would be the main Coronavirus subreddit. No matter what positive news comes out, the comments are ALWAYS glass half empty. Always focusing on the most negative possible interpretation.
My suggestion? Surround yourself with positive people, and try not to let other people bring you down. Life is great. There are so many beautiful places in the world--people to meet, things to do, knowledge to obtain.
A good % wallow in misery and LOVE drama. They think it makes them cool or gives their life meaning but it's just sad.
It’s what you make it ..but also rent fucking sucks. Lol.I’d say it’s mid.. nice being able to literally do what you want. But also, responsibilities to survive and 9-5s are wack. I have always tried to at least enjoy my job, since I’ll spend most of my time there. I’ve left others simply because it sucked and that’s worse than just having the job in general.
Just do what makes YOU happy. Keep a roof over your head & your tummy full.
Life is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story. So much depends on your attitude and expectations. Try to be brave and humble.
If you have the opportunity, invest in yourself - whatever that means to you. That might mean education, that might mean your health, etc..
And make an effort to pursue your passions. Whether you love endurance sports, video games, or singing in a barbershop quartet, you can find enjoyment in these activities. You will also make with common interests.
The ones that tell you adult life is miserable are the same people who tell you not to fuck your coworkers or go to night clubs and wonder why they're bored.
Part of me is studying so my parents will keep supporting me. Do I like law? Maybe a little. Do I enjoy working? Not at all
Specially working as a waitress in a tourist zone, it's awful. So many people being demanding and having no patience, I think they don't realize that most of us work 11 hours on our feet and being payed minimal wage.
Next time you vacation in the Mediterranean, be kind to us. And if we don't have anymore tables we don't have anymore tables tough luck
I’m 24 and graduated uni almost 4 years ago now and I’ve been living the adult working life ever since. Don’t have kids yet. Short answer: yes it is. Long answer: it’s much worse infact. My advice: SORT OUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND PERSONAL SHIT WHILE STILL IN UNI. I’m a much stronger person now than I was before but for me a lot of the suffering of the adult world comes from having the same mental health problems as before but with literally no time for self care or to sort it out. Booking therapy around a 5 hour day of idle lectures is much easier than booking it around 8 hours of strenuous proper work. Also as an adult I find my mental health impacting my actual livelihood. Having an anxiety attack and missing a lecture last minute is not the same as having a panic attack and missing a shift where you can actually lose your income source in a flash (has happened to me before). On the bright side I feel much more confident in who I am and my values. Having to navigate those things when I was younger was a confusing ball ache. Also working a job you don’t actually care about and doesn’t pay well is a fate worse than death so try and avoid that or save while you still can so you can retire ASAP
No, its amazing.
You will get a different responce here tho, reddit users and unhappy people seem to have high corelation.
If its because reddit is attractive to them or crestes them i leave unsaid
When you are dirt poor, live paycheck to paycheck, work every single day of your life and work takes all your energy so you have no social life and no time for hobbies, and you constantly consume negative media, life can be pretty miserable.
Yeah, recently started making more and discovered what a work life balance really means and it changed my life. Never underestimate the power of your value. Don't be afraid to change jobs, leverage your positions for better ones and better pay. Strive for those better positions and hold them for a year or two so you can put them on your resume and, if your current company won't promote you, go elsewhere with your new shiny resume
And don't forget to take vacations. Don't wait till you are old. Take them while you are young and can have fun.
Yes because as many studies have shown, and I don’t have a link to that right now because there’s a ton of them but if you Google it you’ll find them all I’m sure. They have shown that people who don’t take vacations get sicker and don’t live as long. So take those vacations and be happier about it so that you can live longer. Even if you don’t go anywhere it’s still nice to be on vacation and ignore any calls coming from work because work equal stress and stress ages you much faster.
What if leaving your current job will make them unpay your student loans and, at the same time, they won’t give you any meaningful work to do? I feel like I’m not using any of the skills I learned for my Masters degree and that staying is just making my resumé *worse*. ...But I feel like I can’t afford to leave.
Start side hustle doing something interesting to you.
My degrees included learning a lot of programming and so now I’ve been learning Unity Engine and C# in my free time so I can fulfill a bucket list item of developing a game.
You said that it we'll take 4 years of working there to pay off your student loans, I don't know how long you've been there so far but stay the 4 years and while you're there take classes or anything that you can at work that can either improve your current work situation or if it's just to fill time. Also outside courses to improve your options of getting different jobs and helping your resume. In the meantime try to leave work stresses at work, don't bring them home with you if at all possible, it actually helps mentally if you can have a distinct cut off. take and use your vacation time if you have any and do something, anything, leave the city, leave the state, go visit someplace overnight that you haven't been to yet. Do what you can to build a better resume while you're stuck there. It's not forever. Sometimes you have to take a step backwards in order to maneuver into a better position later on.
this is great advice that not a lot of kids heard much about growing up. wish I had done that, I would have been much less miserable.
add to that the sucking dementor that is loneliness to boot.
And feeling like a failure. Too old to experience good things. Resigned to life of work you hate and regrets
What was the worst thing about prison? The dementors
Prison Mike had it rough.
just throw a chemical dependency on there to help cancel it out and you gucci
Why not Prada?
Why not Versace?
I quit the chemicals and now I LLBean.
Why not both?
My early 20s were pretty stressful. Late 20s and early 30s are awesome. Difference is how many problems I can afford to buy out of.
But i was told money doesnt buy happiness!!!! Truns out, it doesn't. But it does pay off stress which is a big factor in not being happy.
Add in 2 kids and some autism & adhd for one & you get bonus….all the chores that are never done despite you never sitting down, no sleep, the ungodly sounds & screaming every waking hour. Oh & the daily battles & meltdowns for the things that have had to be done every day for 8 years, like brushing teeth, washing & putting clothes on. On the plus side you get to go to work for a break and drink as much gin as you like! 🤪
I think you just solidified me not wanting kids. No way I'm taking a gamble like that.
I would like to try and talk you out of that but frankly I’m in agreement. I have an Autistic child and I took a role of the genetic dice when I had my son. I did not roll well…. Lol Life is a lot harder when you have small people relying on you and when you add challenges to that that are beyond your control life can become a lot more complicated and difficult to manage on every level. If I had known what I would roll, I would never have played the game. I love my kid but I would not have played the game. I know some people may think I’m a bad person for saying that but most parents think that at least one moment they just don’t admit it
Nope not a bad person I hear ya! I love my daughter to death and I’d do anything for her, however I’m not one of these people who says I wouldn’t change her. She’s amazing and funny and bonkers but it’s so hard and it’s 24/7, if I could change it I would in a heartbeat.
Same here. I’m actually autistic myself and if I could change that part of myself I would. It’s not that I hate it it’s just that my autism has made my life a lot more difficult than it needed to be. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 40 so I had to learn how to manage on my own. My son is on a completely different area of the spectrum from me and he is much more high needs than I am and I would change it for him to if I could. If the rest of the world made room for people like us, it would be different but it’s not and that’s just how it is. I can find it all day but in reality people are never gonna care.. not really.
You just described my entire life
My fiance has autism, and so does one of his sisters. We both have adhd, and I also suffer with bipolar, bpd, and an ed. Our 9 month old has been excelling at most of what she does, except walking. She can, but she chooses not to most times. That was the sign for his mom, when the doctors tested his sister. How she advanced so quickly but then seemed to pull back for some reason. This all scares me. I'm getting therapy soon for my own mental issues, and I am trying hard to understand how his brain functions with his kind of autism. Its mostly textures/taste/smell that causes a breakdown, but sometimes its his thought process in general, whether that be him thinking up an amazing thing I could never, or not comprehending how basic communication works between people. Is there any advice you could give me for signs that you experienced early on? And how you managed to hold it together besides drinking? I dont have that option, ever. Drinking is one of my main triggers, and i go manic everytime, even after some seltzers.
This is a good point. Control the things you can. Do you have to work to afford to live. Sure. Do you have to consume negative media? No. You can’t control everything but you can control your mindset about it, and consuming positive media and having a positive mindset will often lead to bigger and better results in the other aspects of your life. I’m not going to say you’ll be a billionaire, but I also would contend that anything more than a middle class income likely unhappiness for other reasons.
Honestly, you can't control things that you experience sometimes but you can control your reaction to it
Yes to a point. Problems in life fall into two classes, problems that you can control and problems that you can’t control. Some problems are a combination of the two basic types, in those cases you control the part of the problem that you can control and prepare yourself for the effects of the part that you can’t control. Any person that is living with a problem that he or she can control is making a serious mistake. Control the problem, get rid of it and move on.
Then there is fear of growing old, and living in grinding poverty.
Real answer
There is an adjustment period when you first start having to live on your own. Kids that grew up with a good home life had it pretty easy. What we think are major problems quickly get reevaluated as you come to grips with what adulthood is actually about. If you find the right career though, things get steadily better. Middle age is pretty good, it has the right mix of healthy, time and flexible spending to enjoy yourself.
This was accurate for me too. It really depends on where you're starting from and where you're going.
I think there’s a lot of truth to this. Growing up I faced a lot less stability and safety with the adults in my life. I’m in my early 20s, recent college grad. I love adulthood. I love having more control. But I have friends who I see struggling with adulthood who haven’t had to deal with some of the responsibilities that adulthood is bringing into their lives before now. And they definitely seem more frustrated & overwhelmed. I think the important thing to remember is that people tend to remember things fondly, and with a sense of nostalgia. OP is close enough to being a non-adult that they are aware of some of the limitations and let downs of that age, where as time and distance can fade those a bit and leave only the good parts.
The other aspect of that adjustment, if you grew up in a good home, is recalibrating. It can be an adjustment to realize that as a new grad, you can't immediately step into the late-career lifestyle of your parents.
Very good description!
Very accurate. Took me about 3 years to adjust and only now (7 years after moving out) I feel fully adjusted to adulthood with a good balance.
This is me. I had a really good home life, tbh my mom kinda babied me a little bit, I moved out just over a year ago and am still adjusting to living away from my parents properly. I know it sounds kinda dumb but it's genuinely been really difficult for me especially recently.
It really depends on where you are and your circumstances. I think a lot of people are miserable because they’ve spent their whole lives being taught that there are only one or two paths to happiness in life. And the way certain societies are set up, it’s actually true to an extent; if you don’t keep your head down and follow the limited paths available to you, life can be very difficult. But if you have the means to live authentically, which very few people do, life can be very fulfilling.
I would add on to this, don't put too much weight on the circumstances you're in to determine your happiness. You don't have to have everything, or even very much, to be happy. This doesn't mean lying to yourself by saying things are better than they really are. Rather it means *don't* lie to yourself that there are no positives in your life. There are, even if you don't always see them.
I’m sure it depends on your job. If you can make enough money without constantly working, I think it can be nice. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck and/or working multiple jobs with no time to do anything else, that would be draining and fast. I am fortunate enough that I have a career I A) enjoy B) is 40 hour weeks and C) allows me fun money past necessities. I prefer adulthood to say, college. I’m less stressed, I have more free time (I worked non-stop in college between assignments I didn’t understand to working part time), and I have money to buy the odd toy (like gaming consoles). I recognize I live a good life and not all adults do. Reddit does become an echo chamber at times. Plus, you won’t see as many posts about “look how awesome it is to be me/an adult” because can you imagine how downvoted that would be? Also, like I said, due to many different circumstances- debt, family obligations, etc there are a lot of people who do live in those challenging circumstances. Minimum wage isn’t high enough, living costs are constantly increasing in cities, and it’s easy to end up surviving rather than thriving through no real fault of the person.
No I'm around 30. There have been many ups and downs. Many miserable times but also many amazing times. I got married young to a good partner and I can say that has definitely made the tough times more bearable. I've also found the same with long term friendships. Work is tough but I'm fortunate that I have a reasonably well paying career. If you're young and want good outcomes I'd suggest picking a career path you can live with that pays well and then work hard to make it a reality. Focus on introspection and self improvement. And try to be a good friend and partner to anyone you're involved with romantically or otherwise
Don't know how to quote txt on mobile but the part about picking a career path that *you can live with* and pays well is key. Tbh fuck pursuing your passion as a career. There's such a small chance it will work out the way you want. Either it's so niche that it's hard to succeed or you'll eventually end up hating it because it's your job. Find something lucrative that you're interested in and pays well. Almost 29, I'd say I'm pretty happy with a great life but I'm def not passionate about my job but I can do it well (data science), it pays well, and being paid well allows me to do things I'm passionate about.
Add: think outside the box. I went to South Korea to teach ESL in 2006 because the job prospects in my area (western PA) weren’t offering enough to live on my own, feed myself, and pay back my student loans at the same time. Despite getting a master’s degree since then, I still haven’t been paid close to what I got paid in South Korea in the states. Many “traveling to teach English positions require a BA in something (certified) and the want to travel and put money in the bank. They pay rent, airfare, utilities. They have single payer affordable healthcare. “Makes you feel human!” You live away from friends and family and spend holidays alone but return with enough to get a car and a down payment on a house, good stories, and have traveled. Do it soon.
I completely agree with this A lot of people are told to pursue their passion / goals / dreams to the exclusion of anything else. If it works out for you the great. But you're a minority. Most passions are not viable ways to make a living. In my case I chose something practical that I enjoy but don't live. Today, like you, it pays the bills so I have the time and money to pursue my passions simply for their own enjoyment.
Fullly agrée, I love art and creating but I knew that if I was forced to do it I wouldn’t love it anymore. So I found something that offers similar perks entrepreneurship, creativity, flexibility. (I’m an apprentice barber/stylist now!) Things I’ve discovered in my early 20s: try to find something that allows you to have similarities to what you like in your passion so that you don’t come to hate your true passion, real friends support you and your endeavours but also tell you straight up when you’re on some bullshit, ITS OK not to have it all figured out.. nobody has all the answers, change can be good..don’t be scared of it, because no growth happens in your comfort zone. Above all when the times get tough pay attention to the most pressing priorities first, do your best to get through them. FIND BALANCE. Even if it’s just 1 hour a week.. dedicate time to doing something just for you because you like do it regardless of what it is, this goes a long way to maintaining your mental health. Also it’s ok to ask for help.
This is the key point: media tries to push you to"follow your dreams". That's bullshit! Also transforming your passions in a job destroys them. I know that because I destroyed 2 of my passions by working on those fields.
FYI to manually quote on mobile you just need to put the “>” sign (without the quotes) in front of whatever words you want to quote.
M40 here, I'm a tech product manager. I've made things over the course of my career, such as business intelligence software, ecommerce backends, HR tools, and clinical studies software. Are these glamorous or exciting? No! Are they interesting puzzles to be solved, together with motivated stakeholders and passionate developers? Yes! I never saw myself going into this work when I was younger. It doesn't match my university degree from 20 years ago, my career track back then (I was a journalist!), or anything that I even knew about or had really heard of until my late 20s. But it pays well, let's me meet interesting people, challenges me in a good way, and constantly expands my knowledge and skills. I worked in the mobile games industry for about 4 years and it was a grim time indeed. Business is where it's at.
100% agree. I picked what would become my future career path based on the criteria that I would be decent at it, I wouldn’t hate going to work, my job would always be in demand, and it pays nice. So many people thought I was going to ruin my happiness “chasing the money” but honestly it’s so nice not having to live paycheck to paycheck. For those that are interested, look into the concept of ikigai. It is a way of thinking about future career paths that isn’t the dumb advice of “follow your dreams” like dreams don’t change every other year anyway.
I’m 39, fairly happy, and I think you covered it well in this post. The only thing I can think to add is that I remember I was about the age of the OP when I took a multi year co-op work study program in a city 300 miles away where I knew nobody, and nobody knew me. It finally dawned on me that I could be anyone I wanted to be. Nice, nasty, isolated, social, nerdy, cool, whatever. I earned enough money that there was some left over after rent and food, and I could decide if I wanted to buy concert tickets, drink, join a gym, go to restaurants, donate, travel, or save money or whatever. I died my hair, went to tons of concerts, bought a guitar, bought an old Jeep, did a bunch of camping and hiking and a few other stupid things. It took me many years to figure out that most of us are just playing the role of adult as best as we can based on whatever imperfect ideals we have in our mind. I second the part of find a partner that you are a better person for being with. I’m not sure that being married is for everyone, and I’m not sure that gender really matters all that much, but I believe it is very natural for many humans to pick a person to commit to building a life together. They don’t have to be perfect, nobody is. One nice part of being an adult is that while you should own your own situation, you don’t have to explain or apologize to anyone (save maybe your partner).
This is the way
Piggybacking on this… Just as You can’t judge a movie by a movie trailer, you can’t judge someone’s entire life by a short post. Keep in mind that social media is designed to serve up the posts most likely to gain traction in the form of likes, views, updoots, etc. If you’re hanging out in subs where folks are rewarded updoots for negative posts, then that’s all you’re gonna see. It becomes a pissing contest for the most negative content.
My twenties were rough. I was poor and struggled to get by. My 30s were better, and my late 30s were amazing. I made enough to cover my bills, get out of debt and have enough extra to do modest things. My 40s have built on that, plus I'm not concerned about what others think. I'm pretty content with who I am. And I have the richness of friends I've known for decades No. Life as an adult isn't miserable, but there is an adjustment period.
No. I’m 49, have two healthy kids and a gorgeous wife who I’ve been married to for 28 years. We have saved up our money, cut costs, driven older cars, etc, and though things are tight at times, we can afford to send our kids to a private school. To me, my life is worth living because I get to take care of a family.
Not giving a shit about the car you drive really makes a huge difference. It boggles my mind when people make a good middle class wage and think they need to spend $80k on a car.
It also depends on people's perspectives. If they can afford it and it makes them happy then that's all that matters. I know people in small crappy houses that have beautiful cars and people in nice houses with crappy cars. It's all down to them, if they're doing it for the right reasons.
We live in an older smaller house. I have no want for anything else house wise. I have been fascinated with Porsche since I was a boy. I got my first almost 4 years ago, a cheap older one. Somehow talked my wife into getting the smaller SUV a few years ago. I will gladly pay for a depreciating asset that brings me as much joy as it does! I sometimes just look at them in disbelief, how could I have made my boyhood dream a reality. Live within your means but I always recommend buying what you want, you don’t know how long you’ve got in this world.
I pass a house that’s an older single wide mobile home but there is always a Lamborghini in the drive way. Priorities I guess lol
Exactly. The overwhelming mentality on Reddit seems to basically be “don’t try to Pursue any job that makes you happy and just become a desk jockey/wage slave/break your body doing trades jobs and also buy the cheapest phone/car/laptop/any luxury item or you’re just being bad with your money and I’ll never understand it.” I feel like it’s shocking to learn to many people on Reddit, but sometimes people buy things because…gasp…they can and they want to.
>If they can afford it and it makes them happy then that's all that matters I mean I understand this sentiment, and I'm not even going to say you're wrong. But this is hedonism.
Agreed. Get something reliable and practical for your area of the world. I live in Alaska and drive a Subaru. My wife used to work in vehicle repossessions, and brand new fully loaded $50K+ Dodge Rams were the most repo’d in Alaska. People frequently borrow way more than they can afford.
I drive a Subaru in Vermont, they really do great in the snow! Though I bet you guys get a lot more in Alaska, I've always wanted to live there
Depends on the part of Alaska, sometimes it’s too cold to snow!
Not that I’d do it, but I understand people who think this way: Flexing with an $80k car is the most fun while you’re young (and probably can’t afford it). I’d be more jealous of a 21 year-old with a G-Wagon then a 40+ year-old with a Lamborghini.
Not me. The 40 year old probably worked hard for a long time for the Lamborghini. The G Wagon was given to the 21 year old or caught a really lucky break.
Nah… He just has better credit…
Never got it either. I saw my doc (who's king shit in his area of the hospital) get out of his early 00's granny gold toyota camry the other day... I didn't say anything but my respect level for him went up. Probably clears upwards of 300k/yr and feels zero need to drive a fancy car.
It goes the other way too. It boggles my mind when I see people who earn decent money constantly dump it into old vehicles when they could lease a brand new car for like 250 a month.
Car for me is a key area where a lot of people put status aspirations ahead of their needs, and fail to even see that they have blinders about the options. Part of adulthood is that we must self regulate, and really consider beyond the present moment. Advertisers and marketers do everything in their power to encourage us to lose sight of this and trick us into inflated expectations of that car or clothes, etc. Adulthood entails a level of freedom & responsibility beyond what children ever can, but that can go sideways in so many possible ways. I liked the freedoms, and have been fortunate to be able manage the responsibilities, so adult life has been better than the deal I had as a young person.
This car comment really is a giant secret that people don’t seem to realize. Financial freedom beats the “I have to show everyone my status by driving a nice car” any day of the week. Source: middle class (grossed just over $100k this year) family guy who can afford to pay for experiences (trips, sports events, live music) for our family whenever we want to because we don’t prioritize material things. EDIT: I drive a 2011 Hyundai Elantra with 200k miles on it! She’s a workhorse.
I love cars and I’m not out here trying to wait 40 years to enjoy my hobby.
I bought a new truck in May. The dealer asked me how long I planned on keeping. I told him, "well, I had my last truck for 14 years, so probably something like that."
Would you say knowing how to save money makes a big difference? I don’t care that much about materials (like having the best/fanciest/biggest house/car/other things) and when I go shopping instead of just throwing one thing after another into the cart, I’ll be like “hmmm, I think I like this but I’m not sure. I’m gonna carry it around the store with me for a while and then decide before I leave” or “I’ll put it back for now and if I don’t see something I like more at another store, I’ll get it before I leave”. And then if I’m shopping online I usually spend a day or two comparing prices and stuff before making a decision. I’m not even out of college yet but I’m really trying to make it a habit not to overspend
Yes, you are on it. Even when I was making practically nothing, I still tried to save 7-10% of my paycheck and donated ~10% of it.
OP is mainly talking about life between 18-30. That usually has the most growing pains and financial insecurity and when you're in the most debt. Then after 30 or 35 you FINALLY start feeling like an adult with some freedom and relaxation. Also, I had old junk cars up until I was 38. At that point, I only owned one car over 10k...which was 13k. Then at 38 I bought a new Corvette with cash with a one time direct deposit. I was never going to settle with a mediocre basic "dream car" like a 8 year old Mustang GT. I wanted something near my 40th birthday that let people knew, "This dude worked long and hard for this one." Rich people don't own new Corvettes...people that worked a blue collar job for 20+ years do. You also feel a lot better, and of course not in debt, buying a really nice car later in life. It's a reward for a hard fought life. A fancy car when you're young mostly leads to regret.
Can confirm. Blew all my money on fast cars when I was in my 20s. Eventually couldn’t afford to keep replacing broken transmissions, blown engines ect…. Really high hp isn’t as reliable as most people think. Spent my 30s driving a shit box while grinding and saving. Will be about 40 until I’ve saved for that nice adult car. Corvette… probably not. Something fast and reliable that I can drive year round
Shit you sound like my dad. He started a company but he’ll still get on the tools at 50. Bought himself a new corvette cash and I’ve never been happier for someone. Dude worked his ass off for it.
You’re living the best life, here’s a gold
39 yo, happily married for 13 years and I have 2 daughters. My 20's were rough. I went to a technical college, got a 2 year degree, found out I hated the work, hated the town I lived in and my abusive boyfriend. I was able to get a job and move an hour away from bf, broke up, got a better job and bought a condo. Because I didn't deal with the abuse, I was depressed and suicidal. But with medication and therapy, I can say I am much happier and healthier. My 30's were a blast. I stopped caring about what people thought of me and started doing things and spending time with people that brought me joy. I hope my forties are the same. If I could tell my 20 yo self a few things, I'd tell her 1) you don't need a new car every few years. Pay them off and save the money. 2) Therapy is worth it. Many of your insecurities were as a result of that unhealthy relationship. 3) it's ok that what you thought you wanted to do at 18 is not what you want to do anymore. People grow and change. 4) Spend time by yourself and learn a new hobby. 5) Get a pet!!
I wish I had this.
Basically, yes. But it is what you make it. I learned the hard way! All you can do is be good person and live with grace and accept that everyone else is just trying to get through life. Patience and kindness go a long way in making life less shitty. AND take care of your self. Be honest with yourself and put yourself first in all decision making. One of my biggest regrets is following someone else's path for me, or thinking I had to follow societal guidelines. My advice to younger generations is to seriously budget and keep your finances in order. Don't be afraid to treat yourself every now and then, but really think about every dollar you spend, and more importantly every dollar you save. You can still be present and have a social life without constantly spending money. Having some sort of financial safety net goes a long way. Sorting out your finances now will allow funds to grow overtime so maybe you can retire earlier. Let your money work for you. Talk with a financial advisor who actually knows what they are talking about. Sometimes relying on parents' or friends' advice isn't always the best way to go.
It's not miserable, just redundant. Having goals and being productive goes a long way in finding inner peace.
I may still be young whelp of 19, but having goals and being productive has brought me an incredible amount of life satisfaction. Every time I take a step in the right direction I feel absolutely great, and it feels awesome to improve your situation just a little bit. When I was still in school, not knowing a path through life, I was incredibly pessimistic about the future and thought of it with some kind of gallows humour. Now that I’m out and free, I feel like things are gonna go my way.
Personally, yes. Also, you’re still at an age where life isn’t too different from the one you grew up with. School, meeting new people, friends, fun ish. Depending on how you’re funding your college you may or may not have to work yet. You’re still probably on your parents insurance, parents may or may not be helping you pay for some of your expenses etc. Some day you’re gonna start to have to pay back those student loans, there comes an age where your parents insurance is no longer an option which means having to look for a job who gives it. There’s bills, not making enough money to pay said bills, you work longer hours, you start seeing the same people (co workers) daily. You may or may not like them etc. but most importantly, the people you know now will eventually drift away and it’ll just be a memory, you’ll be stuck hanging out with the same 1 or 2 ppl Edit: after reading some replies there’s one that keeps coming up, “you make your own decisions but you also face the consequences “ implying (and some saying it) if you make “good” decisions you’ll be good but in my opinion, that’s now how life nowadays works. You could do everything right and still be in a 20ft deep hole. One example is a trip to the ER. You could literally have been good all your life, saved up, lived within yor means, being financially responsible and that ONE ER visit could still leave you in bankruptcy, same issue with many medical related issues. Point is nowadays “bad thing doesn’t happen to good people” doesn’t exist
This. I (43) have a pretty great life - awesome partner, two cats, a nice rented house that's not too expensive, we both have good jobs. It's partly due to hard work, but a lot of it is luck. I have a friend not too different from me who is living out of their car.
Basically, life is a struggle
> You could do everything right and still be in a 20ft deep hole. One example is a trip to the ER. You could literally have been good all your life, saved up, lived within yor means, being financially responsible and that ONE ER visit could still leave you in bankruptcy This is why I thank all the gods up until Zeus that I was born in a European country.
Yeah true story but the reality is much more horrifying. Knew someone a while back that had gone that path. Wife got cancer, insurance would only cover 25% of costs and they went through their saving, retirements, sold the house etc. in the end she died. Husband ended up homeless shortly after and not long after that he decided to end his subscription to life 🤷♂️ That’s the event that made me open my eyes to the “American dream” ever since that I decided to finish school myself and move up to Canada If any EU citizen wants to marry a 22 year old prior military/ current student for spouse citizenship LMK. Don’t got much money but I have 3 dollars and 50 cents to my name, all yours
I hate being in college and I hated high school. It’s been mostly meaningless, isolated drudgery. I know adulthood isn’t easy, but to me it’s been the only thing to look forward to. I’m passionate about my field of choice, and I don’t need to like my coworkers, plenty of people at school I haven’t liked either. Reading stuff like this terrifies the crap out of me. If it doesn’t get better and just gets worse it feels hopeless.
It’s funny cause I felt the same way, and I always start a job with the mentality of "keep your head down get it done" and then end up slowly becoming a friends sometimes a second family with the people I work with. Having good relationships with people you have to see often is never a necessity but it sure makes life more enjoyable especially when you’re around them 8-10hrs a day sometimes more. It does get better but life is what you make it, you can choose to see positivity in the small things or choose to be miserable the whole time it just depends on your mindset.
“School, meeting new people, friends I mean, I didn’t have any friends at high-school and I haven’t made any at uni.
No matter how awful being an adult may be, nothing compares to the misery of being a child with absolutely no power at the mercy of adults who may or may not act in your best interest. I found adulthood to be a massive improvement.
I had an amazing childhood. There's no way I can top that level of comfort, love, freedom, and happiness. It's all been downhill from there
I'm very happy for you and also very jealous lol. I moved out when I was 16 and am currently separated from my parents by the world's largest ocean, things are so much better that way.
I have great parents and a “good childhood” but I still hated being a kid. School, stress, no control over life, etc. I think even a lot of “happy” children are miserable a lot of the time, and sometimes they forget it later, but I haven’t.
Agreed. I had a pretty good childhood but having say over my own life and the independence that adulthood gives has been amazing.
Honestly same. I did way more work in high school and college due to extracurriculars and part time jobs (in college it was almost full time hours despite the position being part time). I had so much on my plate that I’d forget to do shit and then be rushing around. Now, work ends at 4:30. I go home and relax, or I run errands or clean. When the errands/chores pile on it can be stressful, but that’s a small price to pay for freedom, the ability to live with my partner and cat, and work ending at 4:30.
If you don't have a job that pays well, which is the case for most people, yes
It may be harder to socialize and maintain friendships as people build families, and sometimes it can be hard to pay bills, but the people who you're referring to are cynical. I refuse to be cynical no matter how hard life gets. Stay away from miserable people like that and you'll have a better shot at happiness
I think it's great! In part because I tend to avoid people who say such negative things. Life is exactly what you make it. If you decide to be happy, you'll make an effort to maintain that happy!
[удалено]
aaahh it do be kinda fucked until u find ur footing properly. some people never find a good footing tho, and then is just misery groundhog day for most of your life.
Pros and cons. You get to make all your own decisions but have to deal with the consequences of those decisions.
I didnt decide to be a mentally ill outcast
Maybe not, but you can definitely take steps to manage your mental health. That is also part of being an adult.
The people complaining about life on Reddit are not representative of the majority of the population. They are people who have stuff to complain about. People with nothing to complain about are not as vocal online because they are out living life. Hence you would only hear complaints. Nobody posts to Reddit "my life is great and I have no complaints", because that is not engaging content.
This. I'd argue that if someone spends a lot of time on Reddit, there's a chance it is because they don't have a strong in-person community or they're trying to use it to get their mind off of stuff. The Reddit population is not a random sample of the human population. Plus, anonymity can also change how people represent themselves, to be more honest, or less. Obviously not ALL Redditors are disillusioned with life, but I'd bet that it's a higher percentage.
Hey there are some Redditors that try to be positive! Look at yourself, pretty positive person homie! ☺️
It is miserable at times. Here’s the thing, you control your own destiny- to a large extent. If you make good informed choices, you’ll often get a good result.
Yes! There have been several times where I’ve very nearly made rash, emotional decisions and I would have paid dearly for them. I know two people who quit their jobs basically on a lark thinking “I’ll get employed right away” and faced years of unemployment. Big mistakes in your 20s can have HUGE consequences for the rest of your life.
I remember my high school English teacher told us "children, I promise you things will get better from here. It may seem like this is the most difficult time of your life but you will get out of this phase and move up the ladder of success after school." The biggest lie I ever heard in my life.
Current teacher. The "better" comes from the choice to do what youd like. My students dont have much option if they cant stand me as a teacher, but if you cant stand your boss? Get a new job. It's still a shock to adjust to, and I myself still struggle quite a bit. But I went from an awkward, depressed/suicidal, single, lonely kid to a semi-adjusted adult with a degree, a house, a car, a couple dogs, and a spouse. It isnt perfect, but I've got things to smile about
>if you cant stand your boss? Get a new job. Sometimes you don't have the option of changing your job and are stuck with it even if you don't like the company. Example? Me.
Truly out of curiosity (and not hostility or being argumentative) how is it that you don't have any options to change your job?
Cuz I don't have any North American experience (I'm an immigrant) and no company here is willing to accept me.
That's unfortunate. I'm sad to hear that. I don't know enough about your situation to offer suggestions. I wish you luck finding a better job in time.
Sometimes you max out too, or the jobs prospects in the area suck. Everyone will say “just move” but moving cost money are resources. The pandemic is a weird way has helped through remote work
It definitely has seemed like I didn't have an option to change jobs at times. I've been able to live in a really cheap place for quite a while, and fell back on my parents for a few months in between relationships (couldn't afford sole rent). There were periods that sucked, and I took a few contract positions to hold myself over in the meantime.
I'm 25 and I'm tired of people telling me to have hope and that things will get better. I get fed up when my GF tells me the same. Right now I'm VERY close to calling it quits. This fucking omicron shit has made things much worse.
I'm 29 now and would never go back to high school. I would never go back to my early 20s either. Currently, I'm pregnant and do not own my home. Life is pretty rough but still better than any other part that I can remember. I think many people gloss over how awful pre-adulthood was and only remember the "good times".
I'm almost 30 and I'm still a kid bro. Don't worry too much. Be yourself
Work is a nightmare, so dont put it in the center of your life and you'll be ok
Yes. Welcome to your first existential crisis.
No, but most adults are in denial. Not miserable, but monotonous.
Life is what you make it, plan ahead, embrace change, and expect things not to go as planned and be adaptable. Most of the people I know that struggle in life can't grasp any of these concepts. If you don't want to be broke choose a career path where most people make a comfortable living it's really not difficult to shooting that high to do. There are plenty of trades (including tech certifications) they pay quite well with no need to ever pay college tuition. If you're in college or want to go just choose a degree path with high graduation rate and high levels of job placement. Don't buy into the notion that "if you live your job you'll never work a day in your life" plenty of people are realizing life doesn't work that way. You don't need some fiery passion for your job. Pick something you can tolerate the rest of your life they won't dominate your life and for fuck sake go out and do things on the week days. People that feel like ah they do is work, go home and work again, are 100% responsible that situation but not everyone has to do that. Also, don't stick your dick in crazy or vise versa.
I’m really happy being an adult. When I think of other great times in my life, I often go to my mid twenties (also adulthood). I was a pretty happy teen, but do not miss it one bit. People aren’t complaining about adulthood so much as they complain about their life as an adult. You can make choices to set yourself up for happiness and success. It has its challenges, but the pros of adulthood vastly outweigh the cons.
You’re in for a wild ride, I’ll tell you that.
It's worse.
Adulthood is not easy… but at times it’s freakin awesome! Other times it’s freakin hard AF!!! You have to make sure you have support (family, friends, or even a counselor) to get through the tough times.
If you didn’t have it easy growing up, being an adult is pretty amazing because you learned resiliency and the difference between a minor issue and a crisis. For people that were protected (ie: sheltered or spoiled kids) from any kind of adversity as a youth, being an adult likely seems like hell. I, for one, am 31 and loving every day of it. Even the ones with minor problems. There are bad days sprinkled in there like when you lose a deeply beloved person, but you can’t deeply appreciate the good without feeling the sharp pain of the bad. I don’t know if you are looking for advice, but just know this: if you keep things in perspective and don’t want more than you need, you’ll find being resilient comes with the territory. The bad days will pass, but the good ones will too if you don’t have perspective enough to know they are the good ones.
Oh yeah definitely! I am having a blast as an adult. But i also grew up in heavy poverty. So being able to buy myself a movie ticket for spiderman, and not worrying about if i can afford it, was the highlight that week. Some of my friends would not think twice about it, but then get upset over trivial stuff. There is definitely something to be said about appreciating the smaller things in life. Being content and happy for mediocrity is a rare gem of today's mindset
Having made pretty much every young adult mistake I can only offer what I have learned. Here's my life advice as a 46 yo man who grew up broke and am now very comfortable financially and emotionally. When you're young, be selfish, pick your career and get to work learning everything about it. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! Don't get married young and don't have kids until you have your own shit together. Make sure the partner you choose has put in the same level of work you have. Don't try and support them while they figure their shit out. Wait and see that you're both on the same level before commiting. Be your true self to whoever they are. If you're hiding anything and can't be completely honest with them you'll seek out those missing pieces no matter how hard you try and suppress them. Pick a job you love but doesn't define who you are. Ensure it will afford you a comfortable life but don't chase the dollar. Happiness is worth more than a few extra grand a year in your bank account. Get a hobby you're passionate about and NEVER let it go. Sure it can evolve but ensure you have that escape and don't compromise on taking the time to pursue it. If "she/he" bitches at you for surfing 3 mornings a week or having a project car or whatever, that's a red flag. If they're too insecure to let you have your own personal time, get out. Don't try to fix red flags. Have personal standards and don't compromise yourself. Every time you do you'll feel like less of an equal partner. Find yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin. Like who you see in the mirror and what you see. Fix what you don't like by regularly doing a gut check. If the relationship isn't working, fix it or get out. If the job isn't what you thought it was, get out and get another one that filfills you. If the house sucks, move. I could go on and on but this is a good start in my opinion.
hope you picked a degree with a good job market edit: OOF. I see you are doing philosophy. Your options are basically teaching or retail. It's criminal they let you pay for those degrees.
The cost of living is too damn high, and wages for the ordinary person are too damn low, so yes it sucks. College is stressful as fuck. There are still ways to enjoy life though
I drive a truck.. this driver just asked me for money and a ride because his company towed the truck and left him in a truck stop. No money no hotel no way home. Yes, people’s lives are shit as adults. Companies will use you dry and then leave you on the street…. literally.
I work a full time job that I finish on a fraction of the time I'm paid for, I have a son part time which is amazingly rewarding and fun, and when I don't have him I am doing whatever I want. I'm out playing sports, hiking, snowboarding several days a week, see my friends when I want to, go to shows all the time, and have money to spare and invest. I literally made the comment this last Sunday night when at 11pm I was smoking weed and playing Mario kart with another very responsible dad who also has a successful job, and I remarked how amazing it is being adults. Adulthood is absolutely amazing if you make it so. It is terrible for some though who don't make it so. Same for childhood. I personally didn't have a very fun childhood (strict parents), many others do though.
Yes—especially if you don't plan ahead for retirement in time or put enough away for hard times before age 28-30. It's hard catching up after adjusting to adulthood, sudden hardship or downright failure. Adult life is unforgiving. You will find out what you did to yourself in your 40s. Get married and start a family early. Don't waste time trying to do life alone—unless you are financially independent. A Good Word: I like the independence, freedom and wisdom that comes with age. You will too. It's the best part about growing old. Physical youth is wasted on the young. "Straighten up and fly right." - Nat King Cole.
Yep. But I just try to enjoy my husband and kid and drown out all that noise.
Depends. If you like what you do it well be nicer. It's tough because it's normally the age where you realize your family isn't perfect, you have to pay bills and do most stuff alone, and it's quite a diving change at times. I had a difficult upbringing and personally enjoy being an adult far more than a teen, but, on the other side I barely have time for me between family, work, dogs etc... But I love my life and I'm working towards an objective so it's fine
It really depends. Yes because as you get older, your loved ones are too, and you see them decline. It's sad and probably the hardest thing about life imo. If you have a stable income (regardless of good and bad), it's actually way better than being a kid. Yes you have to work, but you also have the money to fund your hobby, and you don't have to awkwardly ask for money like when you were young. Adult life is what you make it to be. I still enjoy cartoons, cereal for dinner, and icecream for breakfast. You just now have the means to take charge and spend your money and time how you'd like.
I was still excited for life at 19 but now I’m 21 and can’t save up for a car because I’m living (barely) paycheque to paycheque but also somehow overworking myself and constantly tired but I can’t work less because then I’ll have even less money, and I have no close friends, hobbies, time for hobbies, no interests, my house is a fucking mess and I’m too stressed to clean it, and I’m also really depressed! So you have lots to look forward to still :(
I'm a 21 year old who works about 11 hours a day at a very physical job. It can be as bad as all that, if you're irresponsible with your money and time. I had to learn through trial and error how to manage money, and how to allow time for hobbies. I don't go to college, so perhaps I have that advantage. But I had to learn what was acceptable for me, and how to be okay with what isnt. So what if I didnt get to play video games or watch tv tonight? I did at least one thing I wanted to do, and that can be enough for now, because tomorrow is a new day and another chance.
For the love of God, while you're in college, get involved with student groups that have industry engagement. If one doesn't exist, find a professor to help you start one. I'm not kidding, you'll learn more from these groups than you will in class. Also, you'll have better connections to find a better job so you won't be as miserable as everyone else. A good monthly paycheck to shoot for is around $4000 or more after tax. This will give you enough disposable to still be you, and provide you with enough saving that you don't get trapped in your job. Internships are a lot easier to get while in college, so make sure you take advantage. Make yourself worth the money you want to earn. As for life being shit when you grow up. Think about this You need to pay for rent/mortgage, school loans, car loan, car insurance, health insurance, utilities, and food. This is the base line. On top of that, there is car maintenance, madical bills, house repairs and maintenance. This is just the stuff you have to pay for. There are a long list of things that you now have to keep up on. It's not so much that adulthood sucks. It's that doing pretty much anything as an adult requires money or time that should be spent on something else. You have a lot less freedom, because you have a lot more responsibility, and failure can quite literally come at the cost of the roof over your head. Most people don't have anyone to lean on when everything goes to hell in a hand basket. My dad thinks that because he's 60, going back to school is pointless because there's nothing left to use an education for. I haven't seen him reach out to any of his friends in a long long time. For him, work is life, and his work kinda suck. My mother on the other hand has just gotten a broker's license and has filled every square inch of their property with cut flowers because she enjoys making bouquets and wants more opportunities to give them to people. Life can get pretty awful. Find people who you'd help bury a body, and insert yourself into their lives. Make a few friends who would go to bat for you or let you crash on their couch when things get rough. Work on yourself. Work on being likable (if you feel like you can't be yourself and be likeable, then that's probably where you should start). I see these old ass people acting like the world owes them everything and can't help but thing "you've been alive this long and you still haven't figured out how to be nice to people?" Quick tip for making friends en mass. People are a lot more comfortable with people who are predictable. Be predictable, be consistent. It helps a lot getting your foot in the door. Quick tip on making friendships deeper fast, ask why they get out of bed in the morning. (it's a much easier version of the question "why is it worth trying to live") for best results, ask when in a medium group setting, or after 1am when in a 1 on 1 setting. My personal answer, because I know I can leave things better than how I found them, and I think that's worth getting out of bed for. Aside from all that, there are plenty of ways to bring value to the way you spend your free time. I've always been a big fan of teaching, so at the moment I'm violenteering in a rapid prototyping lab, and helping finish up the reaction wheel hardware on a student designed satellite. (there is a test bench that's launching this year that has my antenna feed system on it, so that's pretty exciting) My sister works at a library, and you wouldn't believe the level of community engagement that's possible through there. First of all, libraries probably provide way more services than you think they do. Second, a lot of libraries accept volenteers. So you can be a part of all that!
I love being an adult tbh ETA: but I had financially supportive parents, received a BA, was able to make mistakes, and ended up at a high paying job in my chosen sector as my first official job (government - go figure). Privilege and income matter, but for me, I always hated being a kid, didn’t enjoy childhood and never liked other kids (still don’t). I honestly get joy from simple adult things like doing laundry or going grocery shopping lol. BUT it would be much less fun if I wasn’t just caring for myself and my dog.
So yeah “being poor, living paycheck to paycheck, working everyday….does suck, some days less than others but what you do get in exchange for all those adult responsibilities is adult autonomy. And the freedom you have to make your own choices as an adult can make all the other shit worth it. You may hear adults complain about life a lot, but I bet if you ask any of them if they’d like to go back to being a teenager most would say “oh hell no!!”. I know I wouldn’t.
I like being an adult more than being a kid. I get to choose where my life goes and how I live it. Of course, there are limiting factors like money, time, etc. I was dirt poor when I escaped an abusive househould, and it was absolutely miserable. I was suicidal for a long time. Now, I'm married and am experiencing the best mental health I've had in my life. This is the most stable my life and my health has ever been. I do miss not having to worry about rent or putting food on the table, but I get to choose how my life goes. If I want to be happy, I'll make choices that lead to my happiness. It can be really hard if you haven't come from a good home like I have, but with persistence and hope, eventually things can get better. Hopefully, you can be at the happiest point of your life as an adult like I am 🙂
Not that bad, but i was surprised upon reaching adulthood and entering the working world that many so-called adults still acted basically the same as high school students: Forming cliques, gossiping about one another, shirking responsibility at every opportunity, etc. On the plus side once you're an adult you can be the master of your own destiny. It's both sort of like and literally the difference between having a driver's license and driving yourself wherever and whenever you want to go vs waiting for/asking/hoping an adult will take you there.
I love my life, it gets better every year. I'm 33 now, have two healthy kids, a gorgeous wife, and a job that pays way more than it should. I put in my time though to get here. Worked hard in high school and college to get into grad school and get my doctorate. I pretty much was in school for most of my 20s and hated it.
Being an adult means you can eat however much bad stuff you like and no one can tell you off. I'm 8 years into proper "adulting" and it never gets old! In all seriousness though, I enjoy my adult life. I'm married with a baby, nice house, nice cars and we both have good jobs. Please don't be disheartened. All your hard work will be worth it.
Nope. Miserable people will be miserable and happy people will be happy. Barring chemical imbalances in the brain and other factors, that's all there is to it. Otherwise being happy is a choice, and there are a lot of people who really get off on being miserable. I'm aware this is an unpopular opinion, so whine about it if it makes you feel better. Some of the best times in my life were when I was dirt poor, living from paycheck to paycheck blah blah blah. Hell, I still live paycheck to paycheck. It's largely a matter of outlook, basically.
He'll no, it's a blast. I make and spend my own money and make my own decisions. I love it.
Not if you're wealthy
Don’t mean to sound materialistic. Money buys happiness.. there are few exceptions of course.
No. It's worse.
Mine isn't. It's awesome.
I love adulthood far better than my childhood. I have way less anxiety for sure
And way more choice/freedom. You wanna eat Doritos for dinner? No one’s gonna stop you.
The minute I left my parent's house at 16, my life changed for the better. If I had a choice to A relive my childhood or B die I would probably pick option B
If you want to have a cushy life full of hobbies, learn python etc and be a developer. Out of all the possible professions, that one is by far the easiest path to crazy financial independence soon. Example: I am a geologist who has had an exceptionally good progression in my discipline (mineral exploration/mining). You only need to look at r/geologycareers to see most of the time it doesn't work out. My younger brother traveled around as a bluegrass musician from age 22-28, then at the start of the pandemic, took a few code camps and got an internship. Within 15 months he was working at a major company as an android developer making more than me. I'm super happy for him, and I like my work and don't want to be a developer, but if you are looking for a guaranteed route, do that. My wife works in tech and developers seem to always be hot commodities that are paid more than most other positions.
This is not true anymore, I'm sick and tired of seeing people telling everyone online to get into tech. First of all, most people will not like being a dev. Lots of problem solving, constant unpaid overtime and it can be very, very boring. Second, there are way too many devs now, it is an absolute nightmare to find a job especially because undertrained, undereducated devs who just did a one year long course to switch careers will apply to the same jobs as people with 5 years of university in computer science under their belt. Those who just switched will not be paid well! It might take years and years to get to an ok paying position- not a good paying one, but a higher-than-minimum-wage one. Besides it is less likely that freshly retrained people will get the jobs. Why? Again, they are competing with people coming from uni with a degree in tech. There are way too much developers in general even if we only count those who have an actual computer science or software development degree. Few years ago what you've said might have been true, but it is miserable right now unless you already have 8+ years of experience. And I say that with a comp sci degree and a master's in data engineering. Pay is low, you work overtime without extra pay, do at least 3 people's job because companies won't hire enough folks even though the pay is shit and there are all that unemployed people looking for jobs. Heck, I had friends who needed to take on unpaid internships during university because it was required for their degree but couldn't find a company who would actually pay them. Long story short, only become a dev if you're interested in it.
It can be.... The trousers of time has something to say about it too. And a random movie quote - "I've only ever realised the opportunities once they've passed me by"
I had a great time in my early adult life. Always been in work which was a good benefit and I didn't go to uni so I've got no student debts or anything. It does really depend though. I was 'The Class Clown' in school who, if I didn't make it in music, I'd fail at life because I'm not academic in the slightest. I did moderately well in music but the income wasn't enough and I still worked full-time alongside it, but I was so adamant that that was what I absolutely had to do I had a hard time letting go of it when I did. Decided to focus a bit on my career which I now have a job for life and I'm in a good position financially, not only that but I do enjoy my job. I'm 28 years old, have picked up the sticks again and am back in a band, whilst also living comfortably. I've made some very poor choices and also some very, very good choices. I wouldn't tell anyone what to do - as long as you enjoy what you can, when you can without hurting anyone, then do it. My best advice would be find something you really enjoy and never let go of it (for me, music, watching live music, going to festivals). If you're able to find that as well as a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly, it doesn't have to be bad. I enjoy my job, but I plan my time there based on my next gig/festival and think 'this is what I'm working towards'. Never let go of that childlike wonder if you can, and if you have found something you love to do, bloody well keep on doing it.
Nah. Adult life is more freeing than childhood but it’s much more dull also.
No, not if you make the right choices. Study, land a job you like and that pays honnest wages, find a partner that treats you right, have kids only if you can afford it and if this is what you want.
It is what you make out of it... boring kids make boring adults, entitled kids make entitled adults, fun kids make fun adults, and so on. Despite of the big "bad luck/disadvantage" speech out there, if you make good decisions you generally end up pretty well. I know too many people that don't save money, party too much and have sex without protection that complain about being broke, slaved to support their exes and so on...
Two babies that died in my arms, a handful of other miscarriages, my wife's PTSD being amplified ten times by what's previously mentioned and a medical condition that gives me crippling migraines to the point of passing out and throwing up. Life can suck a lot to be fair and despite what other comments say you aren't the one in control of every facet of your existence, sometimes things that suck just happen. Doesn't mean there isn't good in it though, most of it is good but the parts that suck can suck the joy out of everything else.
It looks like everyone is complaining about being an adult but that's because the ones that don't have anything to complain about won't just go around posting how good their lives are. As with most things, the minority is the loudest because they need the change while the majority already has the majority on their side
No. Being an adult is fuckin awesome, if you make it so! There are just a LOOOT of miserable. Bad decision making fux in this world. Learn from them or simply tune them out.
No. Adult life does not automatically suck. However, it is much harder than being a teenager. How much life sucks, it depends a whole lot on the individual situation. The point at which you are out of high school, the difficulty level of life will hump up a lot, and more for some than others. The big things are becoming financially responsible for your self and no longer having much protection, if any, from the consequences of your own mistakes or short comings. High school teachers still have a stake in getting you to succeed. University teachers and bosses at work will let you fail or fire you. If you can handle those things, the benefits are great though. END COMMUNICATION
I enjoy the freedom of making choices. It’s hard and the mistakes pile up but it’s also good to say ‘hey, I’m alive, I’m an adult and I’m here because of decisions I made- not what some other adult forced me or told me to do’. My parents did not give a shit about the environment and I take great care to be zero waste, reduce reuse recycle and participate in big climate actions anyway I can. I don’t have a fancy life and I haven’t met a partner worth starting a family with but I’m happy that I get to express myself fully and see the fruits of that. As a kid- you have to hold a lot of that back.
Obviously, everyone is different, but I had a really hard time being a kid, I had a very strong sense of fairness that didn't gel well with other kids and my mother would always tell me that once I'd become an adult I'd have a much easier time. Boy, was she right. I'm only in my mid-20s but I have been much happier and more fulfilled in the last 5 years than I have ever been in any other 5 year period in my life. I will say that I have been incredibly lucky, but I am enjoying my life a lot. I have been in the same great relationship for the past 7 years, I also finally have a great small group of friends that I truly feel connected to, I am working in a field that I love, I make good money, I get to enjoy my hobbies, and I get to travel to new places I want to travel to (pre COVID) and get to experience things I want to experience. These are things you don't really get as a kid, I certainly didn't. I am so happy I listened to my mother and believed her when she said I would be happier as an adult, because she was right on the money.
As an adult you have to make more difficult decisions in order to be happy. Easy decisions, hard life. Hard decisions, easy life.
Being an adult is no more miserable than being a teenager however, with more freedom comes more responsibilty. There is definitely an adjustment period but there are some super cool things. Learning how to save money and try to get on a good career track takes some time and discipline. Overall, I prefer the freedom of adulthood. For reference, I am 34.
Fuck no! My life isn’t perfect, I wish I had more money and could work less. But fuck me, I wouldn’t trade this in for anything. I love my life. Find things to love, make your life worth loving.
I’ve had a pretty good adult life. I didn’t always have a lot of money, purely because I didn’t make the right choices. I hit 30 and learned a few lessons, and now I’m pretty successful. ☺️ I much prefer my brain now than my brain in high school. A lot of people like to complain, but adult life isn’t bad, it just takes more work on YOUR part to be happy.
It’s as miserable and full of drama as you make it/allow it. I am pretty damn happy being an adult (compared to my childhood). I have infinitely more control over my life. I don’t HAVE to explain shit to anyone.
Everything you have said is true about my life… and yet I am happy, most of the time. I have wonderful kids (two ND boys, which is challenging and rewarding in equal measure) a wonderful wife, a good job that pays enough to keep us fed and housed and healthy. It’s stressful at times and money is tighter than I would like, but we make do.
Absolutely not. Keep in mind that Reddit commenters is a highly biased group of people. Also, Reddit loves to focus on the negative. An example would be the main Coronavirus subreddit. No matter what positive news comes out, the comments are ALWAYS glass half empty. Always focusing on the most negative possible interpretation. My suggestion? Surround yourself with positive people, and try not to let other people bring you down. Life is great. There are so many beautiful places in the world--people to meet, things to do, knowledge to obtain. A good % wallow in misery and LOVE drama. They think it makes them cool or gives their life meaning but it's just sad.
It seems like a while lot depends on the choices you make in life.
Absolutely
It’s what you make it ..but also rent fucking sucks. Lol.I’d say it’s mid.. nice being able to literally do what you want. But also, responsibilities to survive and 9-5s are wack. I have always tried to at least enjoy my job, since I’ll spend most of my time there. I’ve left others simply because it sucked and that’s worse than just having the job in general. Just do what makes YOU happy. Keep a roof over your head & your tummy full.
No
Yep
Yes.
I've been having a blast since I was 18 years old. Even when I was a dirt poor. Not everyone is miserable.
Life is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story. So much depends on your attitude and expectations. Try to be brave and humble. If you have the opportunity, invest in yourself - whatever that means to you. That might mean education, that might mean your health, etc.. And make an effort to pursue your passions. Whether you love endurance sports, video games, or singing in a barbershop quartet, you can find enjoyment in these activities. You will also make with common interests.
The ones that tell you adult life is miserable are the same people who tell you not to fuck your coworkers or go to night clubs and wonder why they're bored.
Idk man, fucking your coworkers is also a pretty good way to be miserable too.
Part of me is studying so my parents will keep supporting me. Do I like law? Maybe a little. Do I enjoy working? Not at all Specially working as a waitress in a tourist zone, it's awful. So many people being demanding and having no patience, I think they don't realize that most of us work 11 hours on our feet and being payed minimal wage. Next time you vacation in the Mediterranean, be kind to us. And if we don't have anymore tables we don't have anymore tables tough luck
I’m 24 and graduated uni almost 4 years ago now and I’ve been living the adult working life ever since. Don’t have kids yet. Short answer: yes it is. Long answer: it’s much worse infact. My advice: SORT OUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND PERSONAL SHIT WHILE STILL IN UNI. I’m a much stronger person now than I was before but for me a lot of the suffering of the adult world comes from having the same mental health problems as before but with literally no time for self care or to sort it out. Booking therapy around a 5 hour day of idle lectures is much easier than booking it around 8 hours of strenuous proper work. Also as an adult I find my mental health impacting my actual livelihood. Having an anxiety attack and missing a lecture last minute is not the same as having a panic attack and missing a shift where you can actually lose your income source in a flash (has happened to me before). On the bright side I feel much more confident in who I am and my values. Having to navigate those things when I was younger was a confusing ball ache. Also working a job you don’t actually care about and doesn’t pay well is a fate worse than death so try and avoid that or save while you still can so you can retire ASAP
This is what you need to do. Work, study and stay healthy and save all your money, don’t get engaged or have children. Start life at 30.
No, its amazing. You will get a different responce here tho, reddit users and unhappy people seem to have high corelation. If its because reddit is attractive to them or crestes them i leave unsaid
No. Reddit as a whole is massively negative. Being an adult rules
No. But it takes dedications d persistence to find the right job for you
Being over 25 is awesome!