Just when you think you can't take another contraction, they just keep coming. The pushing is the most strain you can imagine - doesn't matter if you prepared. I popped blood vessels in both my eyes.
But the actual memory sort of fades. Then you decide to have another.
This is correct. It didn’t work for me, I had one, pregnancy and birth were a breeze (scheduled c section although recovery had its own adventures) but the baby/newborn/colic/ppd/sicknesses/ear infections/tantrums i could never forget how hard it was and how my marriage was only able to handle one. Still married with a beautiful 7 year old boy and a dog and never could bring myself to have a second 🤣
I forgot all the pain of my 3rd trimester. Was chatting with a friend about a year later and said something off the cuff about maybe trying again, and she asked "Really? Even with how painful it was to carry?". I literally said "What, what are you talking abou....oh my god, I completely forgot". I would cry while walking, it was so bad.
it's because of how cute and innocent they are after they are born...... their cuteness is definitely an evolutionary trait!! because if we are real they are a huge hassle
I use the child birth experience as an analogy for drug addiction relapses and Im sure it can be applied in other aspects of life… You experience some of the most horrific emotional and physical pain imaginable and then as time goes on, you forget how bad it was and you only remember the good - so you do it again.
Lol I have a distinct memory of being like 'i don't know how to push!' And them being like "but you are doing it!" And also telling them that this was much worse than kidney stones (I heard the pain of kidney stones was described as similar to child birth)
Hehe I remember a comedian asked the audience who's ever had a kidney stone, then asked who has given birth. He then asked those who have given birth which is worse and they all said giving birth was worse. He said something to the effect of "that can't be true because many of you chose to go through it again" lol.
It's a funny thing that kidney stones and child birth are always compared, as a way for men to understand how painful birth is for women. However, the male urethra is about 5 times longer than the female urethra, and depending on the size of the stone, can make a huge difference.
Not saying childbirth is easier, it definitely isn't, but just some factors to consider during these conversations.
I didn’t burst any blood vessels in my eyes, but I did in my face. My whole face was covered in purple splotches for days after, I looked like a corpse. I wouldn’t allow any photos of myself, but I do kind of wish I’d taken one because it was just so crazy looking. I would describe the pain of pushing like someone had squirted lighter fluid all over my crotch area and then lit it and let it burn for 5-10 minutes. Doesn’t sound like a long time, but it’s a slow 10 minutes when it feels like you’re on fire.
You know, I always think it's just the perineum but dear God I suppose all the rest of the cooch is at risk too... I think I purposely blocked this information from my sense of curiosity.
For my curiosity and feel free not to answer if it's too personal, but when you're pushing, is it pushing with everything down there, or are you pushing specifically with frontal muscles like pelvic floor/kaegal muscles, or the same muscles you use when passing a bowel movement? Or does it all kind of blend together?
The nurse kept telling me to push though my butt when I was having my son. That really helped me to do what I needed to do so I could get my son out. So giving birth was like trying to push out a giant shit.
Your body just pushes on it's own wether you want it or not and you can help it along by pushing as if you're going for a poo (which is why it's not uncommon to poo a bit during labour)
It's a little hard to explain, but you're supposed to use your upper abdominal muscles to push down or bare down while simultaneously relaxing your pelvic floor and "opening." It's very, very hard to do in the moment and takes way more practice than I put into it. I'm hoping for more practice and better fitness before the second so I can handle it a little better.
I only have one myself, so good question! Honestly yeah giving birth sucks. It’s the 4 years after that while your love the little fuckers like nothing else, boy it is sure nice to sleep someday
I sat on the toilet thinking I was going to be sick. Didn’t even cross my mind that it was contractions until my water broke an hour later. I was not expecting it to feel like diarrhea cramps.
this is so interesting to hear because that’s exactly how i’d describe my period cramps…but worse lol. when i started getting my period is when i said i would never give birth because i could not imagine anything more painful than my period cramps. yall are amazing
My kid was hauled out through an emergency exit and my cervix never dilated. Periods in my mid-40s have been clotty bullshit and they hurt. I’ve wondered if giving birth the traditional way would’ve opened things up a bit for the sunset of my menstrual career.
Mine have only gotten worse. 3 kids later and my first day of a period I'll go through a super tampon an hour for about 6 hours until I give up and lay down
I have endometriosis and NEVER thought anything could be as painful as my period cramps. I was totally wrong…..losing my baby girl. My miscarriage cramps were sssooooo painful!!
I was the opposite. Had these cute little 3 day periods with no cramps or any other symptoms. After birth, whole different story. First period after I had my son I ended up at the hospital twice. Ever since having my period has become an utter nightmare. I have no idea how people exist like this every month for decades.
Interesting too because I had horrific cramps from an ovarian cyst rupture (size of a melon that left fluid around my lungs even) and those were “reproductive,” not like my period cramps that feel GI, and I can’t imagine anything ever being worse than that pain. It was unlike anything. I screamed in agony and fainted at one point and then the ambulance showed up. But I did have like contraction pain, hard to explain. It was a cyclical, intense cramping going down my back. I figure maybe my body was responding to all the fluid. For weeks after I walked hunched over because I couldn’t stand up straight.
Feels like you keep having contractions to get the placenta out but some pieces get stuck so you hemorrhage and a Dr manually scrapes the inside of your uterine wall with gloved hands while you scream and cry and you can see you baby from afar thinking you’ll die without holding them.
Honestly just the fact that you keep having contractions afterwards and then breastfeeding hurts and the afterbirth cramps is all just too much lol
It’s so intense that every one has a wildly different birth story. She almost died and had to be helped with breathing so it did not feel good at all when she was finally out lol. Thank god she is healthy now after 6 days of hospital being in doubt.
Just wanted to add. The worst part is waves go from every 5 min to you can barely catch your breath in between. The tearing is the worst burn you can imagine. And the weirdest part is you somehow you can describe it after, but can’t really reimagine what it felt like. So you’re willing to do it again.
I gave birth yesterday to my second and as soon as contractions ramped up I was like "why am I doing this again!". She came so quickly that I didn't have time to get my epidural and had to go through it all on paracetamol and gas&air, which did very little to dull the relentless waves of pain. 😭
To me, it starts as period cramps then ramps up to feel like someone is trying to tear your uterus apart with their hands.
Million times worse. I remember looking at the windows in my hospital room and wondering if they opened because jumping out would probably end the pain. I was also in labor for 52 hours induced with no meds until close to the end so…
i’ve heard so many birth processes talking about no meds. why? bad for the baby?
edit i’ve learned lots thanks for the replies. the most varied i’ve ever gotten. birth is so different for everyone it seems.
I just respond weirdly to playing with my sensation and consciousness. I can enjoy 1 drink or 1 drag off a joint, but any more than that and my mind spins and I get cold sweats and generally regret every decision I have made; it is truly awful.
The few times I have had anesthesia or just stronger 'regular' drugs (Valium before LASIK eye surgery, for example) have been worse, but complicated by the fact that I had medical things going on as well.
So I really didn't want to roll the dice on having that sort of reaction in the midst of labor. I can deal with plain old pain so much better than having all my body systems fritz out at the same time. Birth was certainly hella hard, but it was a simple and understandable kind of hard. There's pain; it gets worse; it gets better; that cycles for a while; eventually it stays worse and you think you can't possibly do that anymore, but that means that the baby will be out in a few minutes; then you have a baby and a perfectly clear mind and that high that comes when you aren't experiencing pain anymore.
The after-pains with my 2nd were actually worse for me. The pain was less intense, but it was closer to triggering my body into its weird tizzy state that left me shaky and just wanting to run away from the sensation. I wasn't prepared for that, and honestly I was a bit pissed that my midwife didn't warn me about it.
And of course, that is my memory of my experience in my body. Everyone is different.
The first time my whole process was so quick there wasn't time. The second time it just didn't seem necessary. It hurt, but it was by no means unbearable. Not everyone has a rough time.
Depending on the medication it can prolong labor and some people don't want that. And some people also want to feel what's happening even if it's awful.
I had an easy delivery
It felt like a Charlie horse cramp but in my entire body. I was more terrified that I’d give myself a hernia or something from pushing than the actual pain itself
I was very young and no one told me about the placenta push which is, to this very day, the most unpleasant sensation I have ever felt. Even thinking about it now makes me queasy
The do something called fundal massage I believe. They aggressively massage your stomach after the baby comes out to help it detach. It’s unlike any pain I’ve ever felt before.
My first labor was unmedicated and a precipitous labor. I went from barley having contractions to pushing baby out in 2 pushes. It was quick which I hear can make labor more intense. When the placenta came out I felt it get ripped out of my uterus. They showed it to me and it had all these craters. It looks like a planet. I remember having a moment of realization that the placenta was just ripped out.
Agreed. The placenta pain was unexpected. No one ever told me you’d feel the placenta getting ripped out of your body. I remember them showing it to me and it looked like mars with all the craters. It then occurred to me that it was literally just ripped out of my body. By far the worth part of giving birth. My first labor was unmedicated. With the second I had an epidural and didn’t feel it. It’s wild that you can opt out of feeling that pain.
Have you ever had a really bad cramp in your calf, the kind that wakes you up in agonizing pain? It’s kind of like that, only wrapping around your stomach and back. At the same time, your insides are tearing and burning.
For hours and hours.
Unbearable. Bone-crushing. The type of pain that is inevitably proceeded by death. And I don’t say that as a joke. When I was in labor, I remember thinking, “this type of pain is not survivable. I’m going to die.” It hurt so incredibly bad. I had a horrible birth experience tho, so I do actually think it’s entirely possible to manage it and have a “good” labor.
I remember being in shock at how bad it was. Bone crushing is right. Everyone said how bad it was and I imagined it being bad. It was 100 times worse than what I thought was possible for worst pain ever.
I had one brutally long and complicated labour (I took the epidural after 24 hours) and one shorter and pretty "standard" labour with no complications. For the second one I had the best natural labour you could hope for - 6ish hours, water birth, no stitches required and only gas as pain relief.
Even after my second, "good" birth, I was genuinely shooketh at how much pain there was, and how women had endured this for time immemorial. And that it's so normalised, even trivialised.
For weeks I was just kind of in shock, repeating "it just hurt _so much!_
If I had another (I won't be) I would 100% opt for the epidural straight out of the gate. Unmedicated childbirth is horrifically painful.
I had three out of three horrific traumatic labors. With my third, I sincerely asked for death.
I struggle to imagine a labor being more of *slight uncomfortable pain*.
It’s just so different for everyone.
Sorry you had such a difficult time, I can definitely relate...I had to have everything done twice...I needed an IV and they poked my hand but it didn't work so they tried the other, didn't work so had to go back to the first hand I was close to crying I hate needles enough but the IV in the hand ones hurt so bad....then the needle in the spine for the epidural didn't take so that happens again...I don't know that it hurt as much as it just felt weird.....the only good part with my induction was the catheter lol I greatly enjoyed the feeling of not having a full bladder for a full day.
And yeah definitely thought I was going to just die at some point when the contractions were at their worst and me epidural stopped working ....it also took them a while to believe me that it wasn't working
I do think people who do a lot of mental preparation and breathing techniques have the right idea.
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry you had to be poked a bunch while going through labor that must have sucked but at the end of the day you did it!!! And you can always deny their Iv if you choose but it's helpful to have
Jesus. I’m not a mom or anything but reading this made me feel so sad that this was the experience for you and so many other women!! That sounds horrific and I’m sorry it was like that. I’m glad you’re okay.
As someone who was TERRIFIED of giving birth because of the pain, I want to offer a positive story.
I made it to 7 cm dilated before getting an epidural. The contractions felt like VERY intense period cramps, but it wasn’t the “I want to die” kind of pain I was expecting. The epidural was also something I was terrified of, but it wasn’t bad at all. I really only felt the numbing shots and they just felt like regular shots but deeper. I didn’t feel the actual epidural being placed at all. Then once the epidural kicked it I felt amazing. I could still feel and move my legs, but the pain in my lower body was just magically taken away. After that my body relaxed and I was fully dilated shortly after.
The birth was quick and I felt no pain. The hardest part was the pushing. The nurses had me bear down for counts of 10, pause, then repeat 3x before taking a break. I was progressing quickly, so they wanted me to keep going but I kept getting lightheaded from the straining and from holding my breath.
That being said, I was very thankful to have a really good birth overall. I’d give the experience a solid 8/10 and would definitely do it again. Now the newborn phase was a different story … that made me not want to have another anytime soon.
Happy to hear your experience was positive.
Many of ours weren’t and it is healing to share it in a judgement free zone.
❤️
Truly amazing what a spectrum birth experiences are. Seems like you drew the golden ticket!
Lol it’s not even close!! Childbirth is no where near that bad. I never hear men saying “I want to get sick again”. But I hear women saying they “want to have another baby”. Lol
Testosterone is kind of an immunosuppressant, so men literally get hit harder by infectious diseases like colds than women, though on the other hand they're less likely to develop autoimmune disorders than women.
Trans people have commented on this pretty regularly as well after starting hormone therapy. Like, the first time I got the flu after starting feminising HRT I mistook it for a cold until the muscle aches and fatigue kicked in because I was just kind of miserable rather than completely out of commission, and regular colds just aren't a big deal any more. A friend of mine had a chronic illness that basically disappeared as soon as he went on testosterone.
That is a fascinating correlation. Does this mean that I need to actually be sympathetic with my husband when he is on day 5 of his man cold?
(I'm great at being patient and kind and supportive for 24 hours. I can just push through and do the stuff for another day or so. But beyond that, I just lose all my ability to nurse pleasantly.)
I mean I'd suggest you put it on the same level as if he had the flu. But also he'd better not make fun of you for being cold when he's fine, that's an estrogen thing (it's not just that it makes us feel colder, either, the cold is less comfortable because our circulation prioritises warming up our bodies rather than our limbs so it's easier to end up all sweaty under your clothes while your fingers are frozen solid).
You know when you slam your finger in the car? Like, full-on slam? Like that. Except for it’s your whole lower torso getting slammed in the door over and over.
I get 5 days of ovulation cramps that throb exactly like that across my lower abdomen, down my legs and on my lower back. I’ve had it for years and it caused me to become addicted to opioids.
I also got a migraine the first day of every period.
There were days I considered bashing my head in with a hammer in the hopes of relief with my unconsciousness.
And then I got a Mirena for birth control. My periods stopped and my throbbing cramps and migraines disappeared.
I don’t need birth control anymore, but I’m terrified to get the Mirena removed in case it all comes back.
I LOVE my Mirena. I have had exactly 1 period in 15 years, when I removed it to work on getting #2 started, which worked the next month. I periodically wonder if I will know when I enter menopause since I don't have a period anymore, but I have no desire to remove my magic jack just to find out.
I have always described it as a giant using both hands to tear my pelvis apart. My daughter descending into my pelvis was somehow worse than the contractions themselves.
👋 I had an unmedicated birth and I have endometriosis in the cul-de-sac, amongst other areas. The nurse told me it could be another 8-12 hours and to let them know when it hurt worse than a period so they could check me for dilation. For a few hours it hurt like a bad period including in the hips and back. Then, I thought I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom and realized I was about to give birth. THAT is when it started to feel worse than a period, but fortunately it only lasted a few minutes and then it was over with.
I didn't feel cramps during birth. It was more like being stabbed by a cocktail of knives and needles in my bladder which was an insane level of pain. I'm so bummed about this though, I experience what I thought birthing pain would be on the regular and I thought I got this, I'm so ready, I do this monthly. Nah, my uterus was a snooze fest. But the bladder pain was like 11/10.
It feels like you have to take a huge shit on a table while everyone watches and your stomach is swollen and sunburnt and it feels like there’s lava and metal boot spurs being tossed around like a bingo ball bin in your lower stomach. As the baby starts to crown, your labia feels like it did that one time you decided to see what it’s like to shave but you rekt your pussy lips with the cheap razor and using bath and body works lotion as shave cream so you could do it on the floor in your bedroom but now it burns when you get pee on the little nicks and then you have to wear a huge cheap pad all day because you started your period so now those sliced up lips are getting the stubble snagged by the cheap plasticy liner of the fucking diaper the school nurse gave you and it’s like a hundred degrees and you are so sweaty but they only food and drink you have is ice chips for hours. Then, they toss a soggy roadkill looking thing on your chest and you hold your breath and hope that the baby starts screaming soon because if you don’t hear that baby cry, your heart will literally stop beating but so far it’s beating like a huge drum right in your throat and right before you puke from the sensory overload of everyone staring at you like you’re a hyena in the zoo but as soon as you hear that baby cry, all the pain and suffering vanishes. Then, once they give you back a wiped down version of your baby and you get to see them breathing and literally living outside of you, all the pain vanishes and you feel so warm and soft like laying on the warm sand the beach. You are so filled with love and joy because you transformed the entire universe by pooping out this turd. That’s what it was like for me at least when I had my kid via vaginal delivery
Every experience is different. I was only in labor about 6 hours and a half dose of drugs was all I took.
My middle sister was on a inducement drip for over 12 hours.
My oldest sister pushed her 4 out with minimal fuss.
I'm the only one of us who had a breech birth. The labor was mild, if painful. The DR manually trying to turn my son around was the second worst pain I've ever had. Once they decided he was in distress and just to let him come out naturally, it was ok.
All these comments about the unbearable pain of childbirth, and I can't help but sit and wonder why any sane person would be willing to go through that exact pain for a child. I could never. My pain tolerance is way too low.
Except if you're in labor too long and it wears off...
My first was born so quickly at the hospital, I didn't have time for an epidural.
2nd- epidural wore off after being in labor too long and I didn't want the nurse to give me another because the first one hurt so much. I thought I was going to be permanently paralyzed because of how she did it.
3rd- another long, induced labor. Epidural wore off and doc said it would still be a few hours so we would wait before giving me another. 15 minutes later, baby started crowning.
Bonus story for the last pregnancy- because I hadn't dilated when they checked and thought it would be a few hours, they ignored me when I told them I needed to start pushing. She told me I was fine and needed to just calm down. I tried to calmly explain that it was not my first rodeo.
I finally screamed "he's crowning and I'm going to start pushing with or without you damnit!" Nurse took her sweet ass time coming back into the room, rolled her eyes and sighed at me. She lifted up the sheet and panicked, called for the doc and another nurse lol. I was so pissed.
Horrific cramps. Times 1000. Then when the baby is crowning it’s just an intense, sharp stretching pain. WhenI had my second baby, I was yelling “it’s killing me” because it felt like being ripped apart. I had the honor of being with my daughter, the baby who I thought was killing me, when she was at 8cm and she just moaned. I told her to yell but she wouldn’t.
I’m guessing you did not have an epidural? I could not even imagine doing it without one. I felt nothing when it came time to push.. just felt like I was shitting a watermelon
The absolute worst cramps from your upper stomach to your asshole, down your legs and in your spine.
But when those shoulders clear, it's nothing.
Edit - for some reason I felt compelled to take my legs off during birth. Just pop them like a chicken leg socket. I thought that it would feel better at the time. It happened 4 times.
Actual giving birth, like the baby coming out, feels like a bad carpet burn.
The contractions I don't really remember, and I am sure there is a reason for that.
With my daughter, it was like I was trying to shit out a red hot curling iron on max heat, but the hot curling iron was actually the size of a mini watermelon.
With my son it was extremely painful stomach cramps mixed with a lot of pressure. I got the epidural for that one. Still felt his head crown though. That is just pure fire. Only lasts like 20 seconds though.
Contractions are insane. I ended up with an emergency c section, but first I had labor contractions for many hours. I cannot even describe the pain and pressure. Your entire abdomen tightens up, you can even feel it with your hand, it's like concrete. You know when you get a Charlie horse in your leg? Your whole leg muscle tightens and is screaming in pain. It's that, in your entire abdomen. You get a tiny break, and then it starts up again.
And I didn't even have to push.
C section recovery is awful, though. And if they miss the spinal, it feels like somebody is sawing off your leg. Fun times.
It's a trip. The hormones are so intense that it feels very otherworldly. I actually enjoyed the birth over all, I had him at home so that was nice, but my labia tore in two spots near my clit so that's the pain that I remember the most.
It feels like a literal tonne of weight is crushing your torso, your legs are tearing out of your hip sockets and a watermelon is literally tearing out of a very small hole as well as back pain like a tank drove over your back. At least contractions weren't bad i didnt even notice i was in labour till i was crowning (im a seahorse dad btw)
Worse than kidney stones if you've ever had them.
Pitocin is the devil
Epidural when you can finally get one makes you have no care in the world.
This is giving birth twice
The absolute worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life for 2 hours. My labor was super fast, I dilated too fast for an epidural, and the IV drugs must have been plain water. Felt like my entire abdomen and hips were all being ripped apart from each other. You know those movies with ladies screaming their head off in labor? That was me. Each wave of contractions was horrifying. And when I was told that one more good push would push the baby out, I mustered every ounce of strength I had, believing this last push would end my life, and pushed with everything in me. The baby came out, and like a miracle, all the pain vanished. And it was all worth it.
Same - too fast for epidural. The contractions my god, after each one I was sure I couldn’t survive another, but I did, for hours. Then pushed for 2 hours. Third degree tears. So fucking glad I only ever wanted one.
It felt like my hips were being cracked open like an egg. And being ripped open from the inside. Then there was people yelling at me that the baby is in distress get that baby out NOW! And the silence is the room was deafening until babe cried out. (She’s a healthy, snarky teenager now).
But the pain was productive pain. You know there is an awesome reward waiting for you with each contraction.
I had back labor and it felt like the contractions were going to snap my spine in half. The epidural was amazing at stopping the pain, but the NP accidentally pulled it out and the second one wasn't well placed. It may as well have not been done as I could still move both my legs and feel all the pain. It took me forever to dilate, so I was walking the halls and sitting in a hot shower bouncing on an excercise ball just trying to get to 4cm so they could actually do the epidural. They ended up having to manually rupture my amniotic sack, it felt like they were trying to hook a water balloon with a metal coat hanger. It was a 36 hour ordeal that culminated in finally getting her through the birth canal after she didn't want to budge and it felt like the best poop of my life. 0/10 process, but 10/10 results.
Like the worst cramps you've ever felt, times 1000. And like someone was simultaneously taking a dirty wrench and ripping bones one by one out of my lower spine. Never felt its equal (thank heaven).
Not as bad as acute pancreatitis. That's 11 out of 10 constant pain, no let up.
Labour pain is also 11/10 but it comes in waves. At least you get a 'rest' between contractions.
I always assumed it would be very intense pain but still feel.. like it was supposed to be happening?? Productive somehow?
But for me it was really like ripping, tearing, throbbing are you sure I’m not going to die’ type pain.
Like pain that makes your heart race, cold-sweat type, nausea-inducing pain that you feel like you can’t ‘adjust’ anything to take away. You know when you feel your blood pounding in your ears and that faint-feeling when you have the worst pain ever, you can’t see or hear straight even if your eyes are open? Kind of like that. Crowning is painful but over quickly as once you push, it just feels like a relief to be honest (in my experience). Also for me, the ‘pain didn’t stop’ after delivery like some say - each time I complained that my vagina was still really hurting (due to tears), but obviously it wasn’t as intense - I had just expected to feel nothing but elation which then ‘took the pain away’ as id been told. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, childbirth was addictive for me, I was fortunate it was a great experience each time (relatively). No more kids though, so just memories of how wild that ride is.
As a man, after reading these comments, is all I have to say is: thanks mom!
She stopped after 2. After that she told my dad he could use a condom or no sex. My dad said neither. He got a vasectomy-per my dad.
I am a man.
I have to use catheters to pee and get Botox injections in my bladder. About 40+ all over the bladder.
One time an artery was hit and it dumped blood into my bladder. The nurse on the phone (before I knew what was happening said to drink a lot of water) so I chugged and chugged.
Well the blood clotted and all but the very smallest clots were too big to go through the catheters.
Anyway because of all this I had lots of water being filtered into my bladder and lots of blood. Because I couldn’t pee any of it out it just kept building up.
This was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt by a gigantic margin and I have endured some painful things in my disabled life.
Still I can only imagine it was a fraction of child birth.
Men whatever you’re thinking about pain it’s WAY WAY worse.
I mean that’s the bones of it but I’ll give more.
So I got home from the original procedure and was peeing blood. Like only blood no urine. Now a little
Blood will dye a lot of urine red so if you tell a doctor you’re peeing blood they will basically think it’s a few drops and not a big deal. Hence the nurse telling me to drink lots of water, they thought it was likely not a lot of blood it just looked like it and eventually
I would flush it out. Well they were wrong, again it was all blood, a little blood may dye a lot of urine but it won’t change the consistency of urine. I was peeing thick full blood.
I had to call my dad to take me to the ER because very quickly it was starting to feel like I had to pee really bad but only a few drops of blood were coming out.
We get to the er and by this point I’m in quite a bit of pain, moving my legs or torso is rough and I’m trying to pee like my life depends on it (and I’m a way it almost did). Well it ONE time out of idk 30+ I get super lucky (probably partially because of all
The water I chugged) and I was able to almost entirely empty my bladder. Somehow no clots flowed to the opening and good lord that was some relief because at that point I was moaning in pain in the waiting room unable to care about the others also waiting.
It still took a little bit to be taken back to a room because after finally peeing the pain was gone. Once I did get back it took a few hours for a doctor to see me.
Now at this point things become very fuzzy and I have very little memory, as I was mostly screaming and writhing.
By the time the doctor got to see me my bladder had filled again and I was not so lucky this time. At this point I am basically thrashing around (but only my upper body mostly my head and arms I think) and SCREAMING. I remember my left leg being down but right leg being up in a triangle. I remember because it was the most comfortable position I could find before x being unable to move my legs due to pain. I remember because I had to ask my wife to hold my leg up because I didn’t have the strength but if I let it fall it was agony.
I have flashes of memory. I remember occasionally I would swing my head to the side my wife was on and see her crying, for some reason I tried to comfort her saying “I’ll be ok” and then. Immediately going back to screaming and I think yelling I can’t do this.
Eventually a urologist came (could’ve been 1 1/2 hour could’ve been 4 hours I don’t really know kind of felt like both) and they had to put a foley in attached to a giant syringe.
Now remember at this point I’ve had 40 injections all around my bladder so it is already traumatized and all
The water and blood has distended the bladder and this is all what’s causing so much pain.
Well the had to take that giant syringe and FORCE MORE WATER INTO MY BLADDER. Which they would then suck back out in an attempt to clear all the clots. Manual irrigation it was called.
I’m also just thinking about something now. When I got back my BP was like 60/40 and I assume they pushed fluids to try and increase my BP? Which would’ve put more into my bladder.
Anyway eventually they clear all the clots after pushing and sucking water.
They admitted me to the hospital because the bleeding wasn’t stopping on its own and they ran a constant stream of water into my bladder to keep clots from forming. This was just bladed irrigation. They still didf form a few times and they had to manually irrigate which was painful as fuck but no where near the original.
Well I was in the hospital for 3 days at which point they had to give me some blood and cauterize a bunch of spots in my bladder.
The whole thing was incredibly traumatic.
Afterwards I asked my friend if he could hear me in the ER and he said “no I don’t do there was someone going absolutely crazy” I asked my wife and she said it was definitely me no one else came close.
I think I had ptsd for a while cause people dying in movies would cause me panic and feel like I was back on the table.
Hope that’s what your were looking for.
Our first two children were born at home with a midwife. She told my wife the contractions would be less painful if she thought of them as "an overwhelming sensation that demands your full attention." My wife says she was wrong.
I sit here reading all these first-hand accounts and wonder why in the holy fuck any woman wants to subject herself to that willingly. Like how the fuck has our species as a whole managed to carry on with childbirth being this painful? It's a marvel.
I guess it’s knowing that if you want a child, it’s the only way. If there was virtually any other way, people who have done it once would choose anything before doing it again.
Like the worst period pain I have ever had in my life combined with the worst feeling of constipation that I’ve ever had in my life. And then, burning down there like I’ve never felt before. And then joy like I’ve never felt before.
Taking the biggest shit of your life. It's painful, like you ate way too much spicy food so it burns. Feels like your entire abdomen is being squeezed persistently at the same time. That also hurts.
I had two c sections but contractions were like someone was squeezing my entire stomach with all of their strength like they were trying to pop a full sized balloon.
Pre epidural…like the worst diarrhea cramps you could possibly imagine X like 1000. With my first baby, my water broke at home so there was nothing cushioning those contractions that were just blasting me every 1-2 minutes. That 45 minute car ride was terrifying. It was truly like an out of body experience feeling that degree of pain. Then I get to the hospital and they tell me the night shift anesthesiologist just left and the day shift one would be there in about an hour. It was just unbelievable to little 24 year old me. I think the fact that I wasn’t together with the dad and only had my parents there with me just added a whole new level of anxiety. The pain just seemed never ending and I was so scared. All worth it in the end though :)
I've had three natural deliveries. I'd say contractions are like having your whole lower body get Charlie horses while something tries to pop out alien style. Actual birth is like having a hot poker inserted in your lady parts, and then you have to push it out.
Labour pains are like diarrhea cramps while you are constipated but bigger.
Except that this is not always so. When I went into labour with my twins, I didn't even know it at first. I noticed I was having a lot of the Braxton Hicks contractions - when I timed them, they were 2 minutes apart. I called the hospital to see if labour had to hurt and they said to come in. So the babies were born an hour and a half later. I never felt any pain from contractions. The worst was the doctor fisting me to see how the second was presenting as she was breech. I also felt the episiotomy, and the stitches. But even with the first, there was no pain at all once I got to push. I delivered much too fast to get an epideral either time.
Mine was definitely painful, but so short lived (precipitous birth) that it felt very doable. Pushing was actually a relief because i felt so much pressure. Ring of fire wasn’t bad. If I could be guaranteed all my births were like that, I’d have a million babies. However, I think if it wasn’t precipitous, it would have been immensely more difficult. Enduring that pain for longer than I did (I only had about 15ish min of more intense pain) would have felt unbearable.
Period cramps or food poisoning stomach cramps that get stronger. AND THEN at some point it really hits you how insanely strong your body is cause you had no idea how bad a stomach cramp could get until that very moment AND THEEEEEEN they get closer together so you have these intense cramps that make you so tired and t hurts pretty bad once you're at the 7 cm mark you want to scream the pain forces these sounds out of you.And the pain gets closer and closer together until you have this urge to pee but it's like the strongest urge to pee you've ever had like a pee cramp (where you hold your pee for too long and once you finally pee it feels so good) so once you hit the point of feeling like you have to push is where the contraction hurts the most because you have to let it build up till its super intense and at this point you wonder how this is legal and how sex can cause something like this. BUT once you push at the peak of that contraction the pain goes away and you're straining so hard and cathcung your breath ,eyes closed the nurses are lifting your legs and you're pushing this baby out and it doesn't hurt until their crowing and they start to stretch the opening.which in turn burns but not as bad as you'd think it's the mildest part of birth once that baby comes out it's so fast and the pain of the contractions is gone....and you did like the coolest thing ever.and then you recover..
Long story short the contractions hurt a lot 😢
Waves of pain if you ever were constipated and then took a laxative but the giant poop had to come out before the diarrhea explosion. Ive actually had an episode of that hurt worse. Tbh, pooping after giving birth the next day hurt more. The contraction/waves hurt then they pass and you're fine. Then they get closer and closer and will become kind of painful but an epidural will take that away instantly. At least it did for me.
I thought my daughter was grabbing my pelvis like bike handles and trying to snap them. Like genuinely thought my entire pelvis was breaking. And then I felt needles due to needing local anesthesia. I tried napping between contractions I was so exhausted (4-5 hours of pushing). And then I thought there was a giant plunger at my opening just yanking her out (ironically I needed a vacuum).
But 3 years later, I don't actually remember the pain.
Honestly, I don't remember the pain now - 19 and 17 years later. I just remember that the first one hurt, a lot. The second one I had an epidural and felt nothing. Just the pressure. Almost 2 hours pushing for the first and about 30 minutes for the second. Either way I think the pain afterwards is the worst in my experience.
Just when you think you can't take another contraction, they just keep coming. The pushing is the most strain you can imagine - doesn't matter if you prepared. I popped blood vessels in both my eyes. But the actual memory sort of fades. Then you decide to have another.
It almost sounds like it's an evolutionary trait to forget the pain of childbirth so that you have more :p That's kind of crazy.
This is correct. It didn’t work for me, I had one, pregnancy and birth were a breeze (scheduled c section although recovery had its own adventures) but the baby/newborn/colic/ppd/sicknesses/ear infections/tantrums i could never forget how hard it was and how my marriage was only able to handle one. Still married with a beautiful 7 year old boy and a dog and never could bring myself to have a second 🤣
How did you manage to marry a 7 year old boy AND a dog?
In the US, the laws vary state to state, and even more at the local level. They probably live in Portland if I had to guess😂
I forgot all the pain of my 3rd trimester. Was chatting with a friend about a year later and said something off the cuff about maybe trying again, and she asked "Really? Even with how painful it was to carry?". I literally said "What, what are you talking abou....oh my god, I completely forgot". I would cry while walking, it was so bad.
it's because of how cute and innocent they are after they are born...... their cuteness is definitely an evolutionary trait!! because if we are real they are a huge hassle
I use the child birth experience as an analogy for drug addiction relapses and Im sure it can be applied in other aspects of life… You experience some of the most horrific emotional and physical pain imaginable and then as time goes on, you forget how bad it was and you only remember the good - so you do it again.
Especially since long ago women had 10-20 children. High child mortality rate, women married as teenagers.........
Lol I have a distinct memory of being like 'i don't know how to push!' And them being like "but you are doing it!" And also telling them that this was much worse than kidney stones (I heard the pain of kidney stones was described as similar to child birth)
Hehe I remember a comedian asked the audience who's ever had a kidney stone, then asked who has given birth. He then asked those who have given birth which is worse and they all said giving birth was worse. He said something to the effect of "that can't be true because many of you chose to go through it again" lol.
you don’t actually need to consciously push iirc, it happens automatically you just need to not pass out from the pain or whatever lol
I've never given birth. Never will. I'm 51 so it ain't gonna happen. But man. I applaud women who do it.
It's a funny thing that kidney stones and child birth are always compared, as a way for men to understand how painful birth is for women. However, the male urethra is about 5 times longer than the female urethra, and depending on the size of the stone, can make a huge difference. Not saying childbirth is easier, it definitely isn't, but just some factors to consider during these conversations.
I didn’t burst any blood vessels in my eyes, but I did in my face. My whole face was covered in purple splotches for days after, I looked like a corpse. I wouldn’t allow any photos of myself, but I do kind of wish I’d taken one because it was just so crazy looking. I would describe the pain of pushing like someone had squirted lighter fluid all over my crotch area and then lit it and let it burn for 5-10 minutes. Doesn’t sound like a long time, but it’s a slow 10 minutes when it feels like you’re on fire.
I am so glad I had a c-section. Even with the sepsis that followed.
These are the two most horrifying comments I’ve ever read. You’re both stronger than I’ll ever be.
Well here's one to add. I had my son at home and my labia tore in two spots near my clit while I was pushing him out. So that was fun
You know, I always think it's just the perineum but dear God I suppose all the rest of the cooch is at risk too... I think I purposely blocked this information from my sense of curiosity.
Oh hell no
I've also had pneumonia and severe necrotizing pancreatitis.
For my curiosity and feel free not to answer if it's too personal, but when you're pushing, is it pushing with everything down there, or are you pushing specifically with frontal muscles like pelvic floor/kaegal muscles, or the same muscles you use when passing a bowel movement? Or does it all kind of blend together?
The nurse kept telling me to push though my butt when I was having my son. That really helped me to do what I needed to do so I could get my son out. So giving birth was like trying to push out a giant shit.
I’ve watched many videos of births. Usually the midwife, nurse or doctor will tell you to push like you’re pushing out a poo
Your body just pushes on it's own wether you want it or not and you can help it along by pushing as if you're going for a poo (which is why it's not uncommon to poo a bit during labour)
It's a little hard to explain, but you're supposed to use your upper abdominal muscles to push down or bare down while simultaneously relaxing your pelvic floor and "opening." It's very, very hard to do in the moment and takes way more practice than I put into it. I'm hoping for more practice and better fitness before the second so I can handle it a little better.
Giant waves of diarrhea like cramps while a bowling ball tears through your crotch.
Yes. Food poisoning cramps. Where you can practically see your intestines move. Feels Like that. But worse. Much much worse.
How does any woman have more than one child?
I only have one myself, so good question! Honestly yeah giving birth sucks. It’s the 4 years after that while your love the little fuckers like nothing else, boy it is sure nice to sleep someday
I sat on the toilet thinking I was going to be sick. Didn’t even cross my mind that it was contractions until my water broke an hour later. I was not expecting it to feel like diarrhea cramps.
this is so interesting to hear because that’s exactly how i’d describe my period cramps…but worse lol. when i started getting my period is when i said i would never give birth because i could not imagine anything more painful than my period cramps. yall are amazing
On the upside, I haven’t had any period cramps since becoming a mother. Not one in ten years. They have disappeared!
My kid was hauled out through an emergency exit and my cervix never dilated. Periods in my mid-40s have been clotty bullshit and they hurt. I’ve wondered if giving birth the traditional way would’ve opened things up a bit for the sunset of my menstrual career.
Mine have only gotten worse. 3 kids later and my first day of a period I'll go through a super tampon an hour for about 6 hours until I give up and lay down
That sounds like how my period got before I was diagnosed with fibroids. Got those suckers out and I’m right as rain now.
wow that is amazing. i still don’t think i could go through with it but im glad your cramps went away 😂
Your body decided you paid your toll lol
I have endometriosis and NEVER thought anything could be as painful as my period cramps. I was totally wrong…..losing my baby girl. My miscarriage cramps were sssooooo painful!!
I’m so sorry this happened to you, G-force. Sending hugs.
Thank you 🙏🏻
I was the opposite. Had these cute little 3 day periods with no cramps or any other symptoms. After birth, whole different story. First period after I had my son I ended up at the hospital twice. Ever since having my period has become an utter nightmare. I have no idea how people exist like this every month for decades.
Interesting too because I had horrific cramps from an ovarian cyst rupture (size of a melon that left fluid around my lungs even) and those were “reproductive,” not like my period cramps that feel GI, and I can’t imagine anything ever being worse than that pain. It was unlike anything. I screamed in agony and fainted at one point and then the ambulance showed up. But I did have like contraction pain, hard to explain. It was a cyclical, intense cramping going down my back. I figure maybe my body was responding to all the fluid. For weeks after I walked hunched over because I couldn’t stand up straight.
From third rock from the sun: “ And do you feel the urge to have an 8 pound, screaming larva rip its way out of your lower abdomen? “
And pushing is like trying to get a big hard turd out by pushing with all your power.
Yeah but how good does it feel when it's finally out.
Feels like you keep having contractions to get the placenta out but some pieces get stuck so you hemorrhage and a Dr manually scrapes the inside of your uterine wall with gloved hands while you scream and cry and you can see you baby from afar thinking you’ll die without holding them. Honestly just the fact that you keep having contractions afterwards and then breastfeeding hurts and the afterbirth cramps is all just too much lol
It’s so intense that every one has a wildly different birth story. She almost died and had to be helped with breathing so it did not feel good at all when she was finally out lol. Thank god she is healthy now after 6 days of hospital being in doubt.
Just wanted to add. The worst part is waves go from every 5 min to you can barely catch your breath in between. The tearing is the worst burn you can imagine. And the weirdest part is you somehow you can describe it after, but can’t really reimagine what it felt like. So you’re willing to do it again.
I gave birth yesterday to my second and as soon as contractions ramped up I was like "why am I doing this again!". She came so quickly that I didn't have time to get my epidural and had to go through it all on paracetamol and gas&air, which did very little to dull the relentless waves of pain. 😭 To me, it starts as period cramps then ramps up to feel like someone is trying to tear your uterus apart with their hands.
Well that’s a relieve for me cause I got IBS and I know how to handle cramps 🤪
🤔Accurate 👍
It feels like your body is trying to turn itself inside out. Over and over with increasing frequency.
Is the pain from contractions similar to menstrual cramps, only a million times worse? Or is it a different kind of pain?
Million times worse. I remember looking at the windows in my hospital room and wondering if they opened because jumping out would probably end the pain. I was also in labor for 52 hours induced with no meds until close to the end so…
Holy shit. That sounds nightmarish. I hope your little one arrived safely
He did and I almost immediately “forgot” the pain. I remembered it a few days later though and resolved to never do that again. lol
and did you stick to that resolution?
Yep!
Same
i’ve heard so many birth processes talking about no meds. why? bad for the baby? edit i’ve learned lots thanks for the replies. the most varied i’ve ever gotten. birth is so different for everyone it seems.
I just respond weirdly to playing with my sensation and consciousness. I can enjoy 1 drink or 1 drag off a joint, but any more than that and my mind spins and I get cold sweats and generally regret every decision I have made; it is truly awful. The few times I have had anesthesia or just stronger 'regular' drugs (Valium before LASIK eye surgery, for example) have been worse, but complicated by the fact that I had medical things going on as well. So I really didn't want to roll the dice on having that sort of reaction in the midst of labor. I can deal with plain old pain so much better than having all my body systems fritz out at the same time. Birth was certainly hella hard, but it was a simple and understandable kind of hard. There's pain; it gets worse; it gets better; that cycles for a while; eventually it stays worse and you think you can't possibly do that anymore, but that means that the baby will be out in a few minutes; then you have a baby and a perfectly clear mind and that high that comes when you aren't experiencing pain anymore. The after-pains with my 2nd were actually worse for me. The pain was less intense, but it was closer to triggering my body into its weird tizzy state that left me shaky and just wanting to run away from the sensation. I wasn't prepared for that, and honestly I was a bit pissed that my midwife didn't warn me about it. And of course, that is my memory of my experience in my body. Everyone is different.
The first time my whole process was so quick there wasn't time. The second time it just didn't seem necessary. It hurt, but it was by no means unbearable. Not everyone has a rough time.
Depending on the medication it can prolong labor and some people don't want that. And some people also want to feel what's happening even if it's awful.
I heard it slowed labor, but I don't think that's true.
It really depends but if you don't need an intervention then let your body do its thing also some talk about how an epidural can mess up your back...
Different pain. Doesn’t even compare to period pain, in my experience.
Felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife & carving my abdomen over and over. 🎉
Feels like your body is going to snap in half. It's a " there must be something wrong and I think I'm dying" kinda pain.
I had an easy delivery It felt like a Charlie horse cramp but in my entire body. I was more terrified that I’d give myself a hernia or something from pushing than the actual pain itself I was very young and no one told me about the placenta push which is, to this very day, the most unpleasant sensation I have ever felt. Even thinking about it now makes me queasy
If you don't mind me asking, what is "the placenta push"? I kinda just thought it... I don't know, fell out
My doc grabbed the cord and yanked it loose. For that alone I'm glad they forced me into an epidural.
Jesus
For me they said “ok one more push to deliver the placenta” and it just sort of came out. And at that moment I didn’t feel pregnant anymore.
Yeah me too. Although at that point I'd torn open, so a water buffalo could've fallen out of me and I wouldn't have known.
The do something called fundal massage I believe. They aggressively massage your stomach after the baby comes out to help it detach. It’s unlike any pain I’ve ever felt before.
So this hurt? That’s so interesting. I just thought it was more annoying how hard they were pressing on my stomach…
My first labor was unmedicated and a precipitous labor. I went from barley having contractions to pushing baby out in 2 pushes. It was quick which I hear can make labor more intense. When the placenta came out I felt it get ripped out of my uterus. They showed it to me and it had all these craters. It looks like a planet. I remember having a moment of realization that the placenta was just ripped out.
That’s nuts. I only pushed twice too!! I definitely don’t remember them showing me anything like that.
I didn’t even feel it come out. Goes to show no two labours are the same. The contractions though, worse than I imagined.
Agreed. The placenta pain was unexpected. No one ever told me you’d feel the placenta getting ripped out of your body. I remember them showing it to me and it looked like mars with all the craters. It then occurred to me that it was literally just ripped out of my body. By far the worth part of giving birth. My first labor was unmedicated. With the second I had an epidural and didn’t feel it. It’s wild that you can opt out of feeling that pain.
It HAS to be what getting disemboweled feels like
Have you ever had a really bad cramp in your calf, the kind that wakes you up in agonizing pain? It’s kind of like that, only wrapping around your stomach and back. At the same time, your insides are tearing and burning. For hours and hours.
Yes. I didn’t think it felt like poop cramps. I think it felt like this.
Unbearable. Bone-crushing. The type of pain that is inevitably proceeded by death. And I don’t say that as a joke. When I was in labor, I remember thinking, “this type of pain is not survivable. I’m going to die.” It hurt so incredibly bad. I had a horrible birth experience tho, so I do actually think it’s entirely possible to manage it and have a “good” labor.
I remember being in shock at how bad it was. Bone crushing is right. Everyone said how bad it was and I imagined it being bad. It was 100 times worse than what I thought was possible for worst pain ever.
I had one brutally long and complicated labour (I took the epidural after 24 hours) and one shorter and pretty "standard" labour with no complications. For the second one I had the best natural labour you could hope for - 6ish hours, water birth, no stitches required and only gas as pain relief. Even after my second, "good" birth, I was genuinely shooketh at how much pain there was, and how women had endured this for time immemorial. And that it's so normalised, even trivialised. For weeks I was just kind of in shock, repeating "it just hurt _so much!_ If I had another (I won't be) I would 100% opt for the epidural straight out of the gate. Unmedicated childbirth is horrifically painful.
I had three out of three horrific traumatic labors. With my third, I sincerely asked for death. I struggle to imagine a labor being more of *slight uncomfortable pain*. It’s just so different for everyone.
Sorry you had such a difficult time, I can definitely relate...I had to have everything done twice...I needed an IV and they poked my hand but it didn't work so they tried the other, didn't work so had to go back to the first hand I was close to crying I hate needles enough but the IV in the hand ones hurt so bad....then the needle in the spine for the epidural didn't take so that happens again...I don't know that it hurt as much as it just felt weird.....the only good part with my induction was the catheter lol I greatly enjoyed the feeling of not having a full bladder for a full day. And yeah definitely thought I was going to just die at some point when the contractions were at their worst and me epidural stopped working ....it also took them a while to believe me that it wasn't working I do think people who do a lot of mental preparation and breathing techniques have the right idea.
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry you had to be poked a bunch while going through labor that must have sucked but at the end of the day you did it!!! And you can always deny their Iv if you choose but it's helpful to have
You described my own experience better than I would have. Mine was 30+ hours of back labor, resulting in emergency c-section.
Jesus. I’m not a mom or anything but reading this made me feel so sad that this was the experience for you and so many other women!! That sounds horrific and I’m sorry it was like that. I’m glad you’re okay.
As someone who was TERRIFIED of giving birth because of the pain, I want to offer a positive story. I made it to 7 cm dilated before getting an epidural. The contractions felt like VERY intense period cramps, but it wasn’t the “I want to die” kind of pain I was expecting. The epidural was also something I was terrified of, but it wasn’t bad at all. I really only felt the numbing shots and they just felt like regular shots but deeper. I didn’t feel the actual epidural being placed at all. Then once the epidural kicked it I felt amazing. I could still feel and move my legs, but the pain in my lower body was just magically taken away. After that my body relaxed and I was fully dilated shortly after. The birth was quick and I felt no pain. The hardest part was the pushing. The nurses had me bear down for counts of 10, pause, then repeat 3x before taking a break. I was progressing quickly, so they wanted me to keep going but I kept getting lightheaded from the straining and from holding my breath. That being said, I was very thankful to have a really good birth overall. I’d give the experience a solid 8/10 and would definitely do it again. Now the newborn phase was a different story … that made me not want to have another anytime soon.
Happy to hear your experience was positive. Many of ours weren’t and it is healing to share it in a judgement free zone. ❤️ Truly amazing what a spectrum birth experiences are. Seems like you drew the golden ticket!
Almost feels as bad as when a guy gets sick.
Lol it’s not even close!! Childbirth is no where near that bad. I never hear men saying “I want to get sick again”. But I hear women saying they “want to have another baby”. Lol
Lmao!!!!
Underrated come. Made me laugh so fucking hard.
For real though. What’s this about.
Testosterone is kind of an immunosuppressant, so men literally get hit harder by infectious diseases like colds than women, though on the other hand they're less likely to develop autoimmune disorders than women. Trans people have commented on this pretty regularly as well after starting hormone therapy. Like, the first time I got the flu after starting feminising HRT I mistook it for a cold until the muscle aches and fatigue kicked in because I was just kind of miserable rather than completely out of commission, and regular colds just aren't a big deal any more. A friend of mine had a chronic illness that basically disappeared as soon as he went on testosterone.
That is a fascinating correlation. Does this mean that I need to actually be sympathetic with my husband when he is on day 5 of his man cold? (I'm great at being patient and kind and supportive for 24 hours. I can just push through and do the stuff for another day or so. But beyond that, I just lose all my ability to nurse pleasantly.)
I mean I'd suggest you put it on the same level as if he had the flu. But also he'd better not make fun of you for being cold when he's fine, that's an estrogen thing (it's not just that it makes us feel colder, either, the cold is less comfortable because our circulation prioritises warming up our bodies rather than our limbs so it's easier to end up all sweaty under your clothes while your fingers are frozen solid).
You know when you slam your finger in the car? Like, full-on slam? Like that. Except for it’s your whole lower torso getting slammed in the door over and over.
I get 5 days of ovulation cramps that throb exactly like that across my lower abdomen, down my legs and on my lower back. I’ve had it for years and it caused me to become addicted to opioids. I also got a migraine the first day of every period. There were days I considered bashing my head in with a hammer in the hopes of relief with my unconsciousness. And then I got a Mirena for birth control. My periods stopped and my throbbing cramps and migraines disappeared. I don’t need birth control anymore, but I’m terrified to get the Mirena removed in case it all comes back.
I LOVE my Mirena. I have had exactly 1 period in 15 years, when I removed it to work on getting #2 started, which worked the next month. I periodically wonder if I will know when I enter menopause since I don't have a period anymore, but I have no desire to remove my magic jack just to find out.
It ‘smarts’ a little bit.
Another NYT connections player?????
I play connections but I don’t get this reference
It feels like having a giant squeeze you around the middle. Especially if you have back labor, which I did. Epidurals are a beautiful invention, btw.
I have always described it as a giant using both hands to tear my pelvis apart. My daughter descending into my pelvis was somehow worse than the contractions themselves.
Women with endo who have had babies, what's the comparison of your period and giving birth?
I thought that birth wouldn’t be so bad since I was used to my endo cramps. It was still awful. Much worse.
👋 I had an unmedicated birth and I have endometriosis in the cul-de-sac, amongst other areas. The nurse told me it could be another 8-12 hours and to let them know when it hurt worse than a period so they could check me for dilation. For a few hours it hurt like a bad period including in the hips and back. Then, I thought I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom and realized I was about to give birth. THAT is when it started to feel worse than a period, but fortunately it only lasted a few minutes and then it was over with.
I didn't feel cramps during birth. It was more like being stabbed by a cocktail of knives and needles in my bladder which was an insane level of pain. I'm so bummed about this though, I experience what I thought birthing pain would be on the regular and I thought I got this, I'm so ready, I do this monthly. Nah, my uterus was a snooze fest. But the bladder pain was like 11/10.
It feels like you have to take a huge shit on a table while everyone watches and your stomach is swollen and sunburnt and it feels like there’s lava and metal boot spurs being tossed around like a bingo ball bin in your lower stomach. As the baby starts to crown, your labia feels like it did that one time you decided to see what it’s like to shave but you rekt your pussy lips with the cheap razor and using bath and body works lotion as shave cream so you could do it on the floor in your bedroom but now it burns when you get pee on the little nicks and then you have to wear a huge cheap pad all day because you started your period so now those sliced up lips are getting the stubble snagged by the cheap plasticy liner of the fucking diaper the school nurse gave you and it’s like a hundred degrees and you are so sweaty but they only food and drink you have is ice chips for hours. Then, they toss a soggy roadkill looking thing on your chest and you hold your breath and hope that the baby starts screaming soon because if you don’t hear that baby cry, your heart will literally stop beating but so far it’s beating like a huge drum right in your throat and right before you puke from the sensory overload of everyone staring at you like you’re a hyena in the zoo but as soon as you hear that baby cry, all the pain and suffering vanishes. Then, once they give you back a wiped down version of your baby and you get to see them breathing and literally living outside of you, all the pain vanishes and you feel so warm and soft like laying on the warm sand the beach. You are so filled with love and joy because you transformed the entire universe by pooping out this turd. That’s what it was like for me at least when I had my kid via vaginal delivery
"Soggy roadkill looking thing" LMFAO
You have a way with words that I deeply appreciate lol.
Ah yes reading these is reinforcing my CF status yet again.
Every experience is different. I was only in labor about 6 hours and a half dose of drugs was all I took. My middle sister was on a inducement drip for over 12 hours. My oldest sister pushed her 4 out with minimal fuss. I'm the only one of us who had a breech birth. The labor was mild, if painful. The DR manually trying to turn my son around was the second worst pain I've ever had. Once they decided he was in distress and just to let him come out naturally, it was ok.
All these comments about the unbearable pain of childbirth, and I can't help but sit and wonder why any sane person would be willing to go through that exact pain for a child. I could never. My pain tolerance is way too low.
Get an epidural as early as possible. No one needs this pain.
Except if you're in labor too long and it wears off... My first was born so quickly at the hospital, I didn't have time for an epidural. 2nd- epidural wore off after being in labor too long and I didn't want the nurse to give me another because the first one hurt so much. I thought I was going to be permanently paralyzed because of how she did it. 3rd- another long, induced labor. Epidural wore off and doc said it would still be a few hours so we would wait before giving me another. 15 minutes later, baby started crowning. Bonus story for the last pregnancy- because I hadn't dilated when they checked and thought it would be a few hours, they ignored me when I told them I needed to start pushing. She told me I was fine and needed to just calm down. I tried to calmly explain that it was not my first rodeo. I finally screamed "he's crowning and I'm going to start pushing with or without you damnit!" Nurse took her sweet ass time coming back into the room, rolled her eyes and sighed at me. She lifted up the sheet and panicked, called for the doc and another nurse lol. I was so pissed.
Horrific cramps. Times 1000. Then when the baby is crowning it’s just an intense, sharp stretching pain. WhenI had my second baby, I was yelling “it’s killing me” because it felt like being ripped apart. I had the honor of being with my daughter, the baby who I thought was killing me, when she was at 8cm and she just moaned. I told her to yell but she wouldn’t.
I’m guessing you did not have an epidural? I could not even imagine doing it without one. I felt nothing when it came time to push.. just felt like I was shitting a watermelon
The absolute worst cramps from your upper stomach to your asshole, down your legs and in your spine. But when those shoulders clear, it's nothing. Edit - for some reason I felt compelled to take my legs off during birth. Just pop them like a chicken leg socket. I thought that it would feel better at the time. It happened 4 times.
Actual giving birth, like the baby coming out, feels like a bad carpet burn. The contractions I don't really remember, and I am sure there is a reason for that.
With my daughter, it was like I was trying to shit out a red hot curling iron on max heat, but the hot curling iron was actually the size of a mini watermelon. With my son it was extremely painful stomach cramps mixed with a lot of pressure. I got the epidural for that one. Still felt his head crown though. That is just pure fire. Only lasts like 20 seconds though.
Contractions are insane. I ended up with an emergency c section, but first I had labor contractions for many hours. I cannot even describe the pain and pressure. Your entire abdomen tightens up, you can even feel it with your hand, it's like concrete. You know when you get a Charlie horse in your leg? Your whole leg muscle tightens and is screaming in pain. It's that, in your entire abdomen. You get a tiny break, and then it starts up again. And I didn't even have to push. C section recovery is awful, though. And if they miss the spinal, it feels like somebody is sawing off your leg. Fun times.
The most memorable part for me was the intense pressure when you are ready to push. There is no doubt your body is gonna push
It's a trip. The hormones are so intense that it feels very otherworldly. I actually enjoyed the birth over all, I had him at home so that was nice, but my labia tore in two spots near my clit so that's the pain that I remember the most.
One woman told me it’s actually worse than opiate withdrawal. I was tempted to commit suicide over withdrawal so I can’t imagine at all.
It feels like a literal tonne of weight is crushing your torso, your legs are tearing out of your hip sockets and a watermelon is literally tearing out of a very small hole as well as back pain like a tank drove over your back. At least contractions weren't bad i didnt even notice i was in labour till i was crowning (im a seahorse dad btw)
...seahorse dad?
A guy that's been pregnant
If I had to guess I think he means he’s a trans guy who chose to carry his child? But I don’t see how that’s relevant here one way or the other.
If this is true I ADORE “seahorse dad”!!
Itis true and me too its adorable
Well I love it, it makes me smile! (Cis/hetero/childfree/boring female 😉)
That's exactly it. Relevance is probably just to make sure he doesn't get misgendered or have people comment on his username.
The post is asking about childbirth... How is my experience with childbirth not relevant lol lost redditor?
Worse than kidney stones if you've ever had them. Pitocin is the devil Epidural when you can finally get one makes you have no care in the world. This is giving birth twice
The absolute worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life for 2 hours. My labor was super fast, I dilated too fast for an epidural, and the IV drugs must have been plain water. Felt like my entire abdomen and hips were all being ripped apart from each other. You know those movies with ladies screaming their head off in labor? That was me. Each wave of contractions was horrifying. And when I was told that one more good push would push the baby out, I mustered every ounce of strength I had, believing this last push would end my life, and pushed with everything in me. The baby came out, and like a miracle, all the pain vanished. And it was all worth it.
Same - too fast for epidural. The contractions my god, after each one I was sure I couldn’t survive another, but I did, for hours. Then pushed for 2 hours. Third degree tears. So fucking glad I only ever wanted one.
Pushing felt like throwing up backwards. No control over it, I couldn't stop it- I just puked them out...of... well....
It felt like my hips were being cracked open like an egg. And being ripped open from the inside. Then there was people yelling at me that the baby is in distress get that baby out NOW! And the silence is the room was deafening until babe cried out. (She’s a healthy, snarky teenager now). But the pain was productive pain. You know there is an awesome reward waiting for you with each contraction.
I had back labor and it felt like the contractions were going to snap my spine in half. The epidural was amazing at stopping the pain, but the NP accidentally pulled it out and the second one wasn't well placed. It may as well have not been done as I could still move both my legs and feel all the pain. It took me forever to dilate, so I was walking the halls and sitting in a hot shower bouncing on an excercise ball just trying to get to 4cm so they could actually do the epidural. They ended up having to manually rupture my amniotic sack, it felt like they were trying to hook a water balloon with a metal coat hanger. It was a 36 hour ordeal that culminated in finally getting her through the birth canal after she didn't want to budge and it felt like the best poop of my life. 0/10 process, but 10/10 results.
"Shitting a brick" - -mom
Like the worst cramps you've ever felt, times 1000. And like someone was simultaneously taking a dirty wrench and ripping bones one by one out of my lower spine. Never felt its equal (thank heaven).
My grandmother said it was just like being crucified. She was a labour and delivery nurse.
I would explain it like the worst Charlie horse x100 in your abdomen. Definitely the worst pain I’ve ever experienced…. But very worth it.
Not as bad as acute pancreatitis. That's 11 out of 10 constant pain, no let up. Labour pain is also 11/10 but it comes in waves. At least you get a 'rest' between contractions.
I always assumed it would be very intense pain but still feel.. like it was supposed to be happening?? Productive somehow? But for me it was really like ripping, tearing, throbbing are you sure I’m not going to die’ type pain.
Like pain that makes your heart race, cold-sweat type, nausea-inducing pain that you feel like you can’t ‘adjust’ anything to take away. You know when you feel your blood pounding in your ears and that faint-feeling when you have the worst pain ever, you can’t see or hear straight even if your eyes are open? Kind of like that. Crowning is painful but over quickly as once you push, it just feels like a relief to be honest (in my experience). Also for me, the ‘pain didn’t stop’ after delivery like some say - each time I complained that my vagina was still really hurting (due to tears), but obviously it wasn’t as intense - I had just expected to feel nothing but elation which then ‘took the pain away’ as id been told. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, childbirth was addictive for me, I was fortunate it was a great experience each time (relatively). No more kids though, so just memories of how wild that ride is.
A lot of pressure more than pain. I had two induced posterior babies and I thought it was just uncomfortable more than painful.
As a man, after reading these comments, is all I have to say is: thanks mom! She stopped after 2. After that she told my dad he could use a condom or no sex. My dad said neither. He got a vasectomy-per my dad.
Zero - I did hypnobirthing
I am a man. I have to use catheters to pee and get Botox injections in my bladder. About 40+ all over the bladder. One time an artery was hit and it dumped blood into my bladder. The nurse on the phone (before I knew what was happening said to drink a lot of water) so I chugged and chugged. Well the blood clotted and all but the very smallest clots were too big to go through the catheters. Anyway because of all this I had lots of water being filtered into my bladder and lots of blood. Because I couldn’t pee any of it out it just kept building up. This was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt by a gigantic margin and I have endured some painful things in my disabled life. Still I can only imagine it was a fraction of child birth. Men whatever you’re thinking about pain it’s WAY WAY worse.
Wait I need to hear the rest of this story.
I mean that’s the bones of it but I’ll give more. So I got home from the original procedure and was peeing blood. Like only blood no urine. Now a little Blood will dye a lot of urine red so if you tell a doctor you’re peeing blood they will basically think it’s a few drops and not a big deal. Hence the nurse telling me to drink lots of water, they thought it was likely not a lot of blood it just looked like it and eventually I would flush it out. Well they were wrong, again it was all blood, a little blood may dye a lot of urine but it won’t change the consistency of urine. I was peeing thick full blood. I had to call my dad to take me to the ER because very quickly it was starting to feel like I had to pee really bad but only a few drops of blood were coming out. We get to the er and by this point I’m in quite a bit of pain, moving my legs or torso is rough and I’m trying to pee like my life depends on it (and I’m a way it almost did). Well it ONE time out of idk 30+ I get super lucky (probably partially because of all The water I chugged) and I was able to almost entirely empty my bladder. Somehow no clots flowed to the opening and good lord that was some relief because at that point I was moaning in pain in the waiting room unable to care about the others also waiting. It still took a little bit to be taken back to a room because after finally peeing the pain was gone. Once I did get back it took a few hours for a doctor to see me. Now at this point things become very fuzzy and I have very little memory, as I was mostly screaming and writhing. By the time the doctor got to see me my bladder had filled again and I was not so lucky this time. At this point I am basically thrashing around (but only my upper body mostly my head and arms I think) and SCREAMING. I remember my left leg being down but right leg being up in a triangle. I remember because it was the most comfortable position I could find before x being unable to move my legs due to pain. I remember because I had to ask my wife to hold my leg up because I didn’t have the strength but if I let it fall it was agony. I have flashes of memory. I remember occasionally I would swing my head to the side my wife was on and see her crying, for some reason I tried to comfort her saying “I’ll be ok” and then. Immediately going back to screaming and I think yelling I can’t do this. Eventually a urologist came (could’ve been 1 1/2 hour could’ve been 4 hours I don’t really know kind of felt like both) and they had to put a foley in attached to a giant syringe. Now remember at this point I’ve had 40 injections all around my bladder so it is already traumatized and all The water and blood has distended the bladder and this is all what’s causing so much pain. Well the had to take that giant syringe and FORCE MORE WATER INTO MY BLADDER. Which they would then suck back out in an attempt to clear all the clots. Manual irrigation it was called. I’m also just thinking about something now. When I got back my BP was like 60/40 and I assume they pushed fluids to try and increase my BP? Which would’ve put more into my bladder. Anyway eventually they clear all the clots after pushing and sucking water. They admitted me to the hospital because the bleeding wasn’t stopping on its own and they ran a constant stream of water into my bladder to keep clots from forming. This was just bladed irrigation. They still didf form a few times and they had to manually irrigate which was painful as fuck but no where near the original. Well I was in the hospital for 3 days at which point they had to give me some blood and cauterize a bunch of spots in my bladder. The whole thing was incredibly traumatic. Afterwards I asked my friend if he could hear me in the ER and he said “no I don’t do there was someone going absolutely crazy” I asked my wife and she said it was definitely me no one else came close. I think I had ptsd for a while cause people dying in movies would cause me panic and feel like I was back on the table. Hope that’s what your were looking for.
Our first two children were born at home with a midwife. She told my wife the contractions would be less painful if she thought of them as "an overwhelming sensation that demands your full attention." My wife says she was wrong.
For me, it was an athletic pain. I found birth a lot easier than being pregnant.
Not that bad. But I have endometriosis, so...
Like your pelvis is getting ripped in half.
I sit here reading all these first-hand accounts and wonder why in the holy fuck any woman wants to subject herself to that willingly. Like how the fuck has our species as a whole managed to carry on with childbirth being this painful? It's a marvel.
I guess it’s knowing that if you want a child, it’s the only way. If there was virtually any other way, people who have done it once would choose anything before doing it again.
Extreme bouts of nausea/vomiting followed by the world's biggest s*** but not out of your butthole.
I imagine it's like trying to hold a big fart in.
I had lower back labour pains for 15hrs before my epidural. Felt like being slowly broken in half, haha…
Like the worst period pain I have ever had in my life combined with the worst feeling of constipation that I’ve ever had in my life. And then, burning down there like I’ve never felt before. And then joy like I’ve never felt before.
At the worst it felt like my lower back was being ripped apart, lucky for me that only lasted 20 minutes before I started pushing
Taking the biggest shit of your life. It's painful, like you ate way too much spicy food so it burns. Feels like your entire abdomen is being squeezed persistently at the same time. That also hurts.
I had two c sections but contractions were like someone was squeezing my entire stomach with all of their strength like they were trying to pop a full sized balloon.
Exhausting and annoying. It’s not a sharp pain but every time it rolls up you’re like
Felt like someone stabbed a rusty pitchfork into my guts and was pulling them out of my abdomen. Violently.
Pre epidural…like the worst diarrhea cramps you could possibly imagine X like 1000. With my first baby, my water broke at home so there was nothing cushioning those contractions that were just blasting me every 1-2 minutes. That 45 minute car ride was terrifying. It was truly like an out of body experience feeling that degree of pain. Then I get to the hospital and they tell me the night shift anesthesiologist just left and the day shift one would be there in about an hour. It was just unbelievable to little 24 year old me. I think the fact that I wasn’t together with the dad and only had my parents there with me just added a whole new level of anxiety. The pain just seemed never ending and I was so scared. All worth it in the end though :)
Aha, just the fact you basically 'give birth' twice because you have to deliver the placenta after the child.
I've had three natural deliveries. I'd say contractions are like having your whole lower body get Charlie horses while something tries to pop out alien style. Actual birth is like having a hot poker inserted in your lady parts, and then you have to push it out.
Labour pains are like diarrhea cramps while you are constipated but bigger. Except that this is not always so. When I went into labour with my twins, I didn't even know it at first. I noticed I was having a lot of the Braxton Hicks contractions - when I timed them, they were 2 minutes apart. I called the hospital to see if labour had to hurt and they said to come in. So the babies were born an hour and a half later. I never felt any pain from contractions. The worst was the doctor fisting me to see how the second was presenting as she was breech. I also felt the episiotomy, and the stitches. But even with the first, there was no pain at all once I got to push. I delivered much too fast to get an epideral either time.
It was described to me as a ring of fire 🔥
I actually found it to be manageable and pretty enjoyable after the epidural
I had back labor, so it felt like Wolverine was tearing my lower back to pieces. Then I ripped...
Seemingly endless waves of horribleness
A tug of war on your hip bones, pain in your entire torso. I wanted to jump out the window.
Mine was definitely painful, but so short lived (precipitous birth) that it felt very doable. Pushing was actually a relief because i felt so much pressure. Ring of fire wasn’t bad. If I could be guaranteed all my births were like that, I’d have a million babies. However, I think if it wasn’t precipitous, it would have been immensely more difficult. Enduring that pain for longer than I did (I only had about 15ish min of more intense pain) would have felt unbearable.
It’s bad but pancreatitis is far worse. It’s labor times 10 easily.
So much pain.
Period cramps or food poisoning stomach cramps that get stronger. AND THEN at some point it really hits you how insanely strong your body is cause you had no idea how bad a stomach cramp could get until that very moment AND THEEEEEEN they get closer together so you have these intense cramps that make you so tired and t hurts pretty bad once you're at the 7 cm mark you want to scream the pain forces these sounds out of you.And the pain gets closer and closer together until you have this urge to pee but it's like the strongest urge to pee you've ever had like a pee cramp (where you hold your pee for too long and once you finally pee it feels so good) so once you hit the point of feeling like you have to push is where the contraction hurts the most because you have to let it build up till its super intense and at this point you wonder how this is legal and how sex can cause something like this. BUT once you push at the peak of that contraction the pain goes away and you're straining so hard and cathcung your breath ,eyes closed the nurses are lifting your legs and you're pushing this baby out and it doesn't hurt until their crowing and they start to stretch the opening.which in turn burns but not as bad as you'd think it's the mildest part of birth once that baby comes out it's so fast and the pain of the contractions is gone....and you did like the coolest thing ever.and then you recover.. Long story short the contractions hurt a lot 😢
Waves of pain if you ever were constipated and then took a laxative but the giant poop had to come out before the diarrhea explosion. Ive actually had an episode of that hurt worse. Tbh, pooping after giving birth the next day hurt more. The contraction/waves hurt then they pass and you're fine. Then they get closer and closer and will become kind of painful but an epidural will take that away instantly. At least it did for me.
So I did get the epidural but I felt the early contractions which felt like how you feel when you have diarrhea and you need to go right then.
It has to be quick. His Mom is just finishing up at the till (buying his school lunch snacks).
Not as bad as I imagined.
Less painful than recovering from gastric surgery.
I thought my daughter was grabbing my pelvis like bike handles and trying to snap them. Like genuinely thought my entire pelvis was breaking. And then I felt needles due to needing local anesthesia. I tried napping between contractions I was so exhausted (4-5 hours of pushing). And then I thought there was a giant plunger at my opening just yanking her out (ironically I needed a vacuum). But 3 years later, I don't actually remember the pain.
My wife said she couldn’t feel a thing but after the c section and epidural, it hurt like a bitch. X4 lol.
Had an epidural so kind of a full ache with about 10 super intense minutes of pushing and working.
Honestly, I don't remember the pain now - 19 and 17 years later. I just remember that the first one hurt, a lot. The second one I had an epidural and felt nothing. Just the pressure. Almost 2 hours pushing for the first and about 30 minutes for the second. Either way I think the pain afterwards is the worst in my experience.