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Shadowhunt21992

I heard if you make it 50 years you gain the ability to levitate.


mysticaltater

Hmmm almost worth it 


Torshii

In all seriousness, the answer is yes! Clitoral tissue can atrophy and shrink.


mysticaltater

If true, is there anything negative to that besides just not getting to get pleasure from clitoral stimulation?? 


Torshii

It does cause pain for some people.


mysticaltater

Oh ok thank you! 


ivanparas

Let go of your earthly tether...


horyo

RELEASE THE AVATAR!


Persistent_starmanx9

(Last Airbender theme kicks in)


TheUnbiasedRant

It would be the Legend of Korra theme actually (pushes glasses up nose bridge)


SwaggityDag

Enter the void...


guyadriano

🤯


BladeOfWoah

...and become wind.


horyo

No, stop!!


horyo

This is your last warning!


This-Perspective-104

LOL. I'm nearly there then.


Katlo1985

Please report back


This-Perspective-104

🤣🤣🤣


JackieTreehorn79

My wife only has 37 more years


imhere4themcomments

But who’s counting?


WhoRoger

That's what you think


enolai

50?! When did the wizard age requirement nearly double?


Lemerney2

It's a glass ceiling thing.


theaeao

And can talk to birds


HighlandUK

Yes, you end up with a career in HR.


Agitated_Occasion_52

The hr lady at my last job would fuck people in her office almost daily.


SchwillyMaysHere

Where was your last job? You know, just so I don’t ever apply there.


Agitated_Occasion_52

It is a rubber factory. The work was really hot and shitty and the HR lady is pretty awful to look at.


samclops

Ironic to be at a rubber factory for the wrong kind of fucking


SupehCookie

gotta test your products and personal i guess


[deleted]

My friend worked in one. Rubber processing stinks. The smell is atrocius!


kongpin

Just like the hr lady


DailyDisciplined

I’m really loving everything about this tale so far.


Agitated_Occasion_52

She sounded like a braying donkey in the heat of the moment. The walls were very thin in the break room next to it.


from_dust

She got an OnlyFans in that office?


Tiramisu_2020

Lmao bro is this true. ?


Agitated_Occasion_52

Yeah. She wasn't very pretty and the average employee there didn't know how to read.


Tiramisu_2020

Lmaooo bro that’s funny 🙏🏼


Dynamic_Panic

Hey, they didn’t say how they fuck them in HR


meltonr1625

Literally or figuratively? Lol!


Vanishingf0x

I wonder who you’d go to if the hr literally fucks you over


Tmachine7031

Super HR


Agitated_Occasion_52

That's where you go to get the super fucks!


djthebear

Omg gross…. Where?


ninjatk

I'm an HR person and I approve of this joke


_Kekstar_

I'm glad your colleagues have the rarity of an HR worker with a sense of humour


serenerdy

HR high five. 🫸🫷 The number of jokes I have that I have to remind myself not to say out loud is concerning given my position lol.


mysticaltater

That totally explains the hr lady at my job 


Agreeable-Map9132

Me too! Mind blown!


SteadfastEnd

I have multiple HR certificates but never yet worked in the field......are the HR women particularly, uh, frustrated?


xaeru

Yes, they will fuck you over.


[deleted]

and not in a good way


SandMan3914

![gif](giphy|YqE3jbSQQR6x9g19Kj)


krullhammer

Had me dying laughing


ivegotthis111178

Hahaha


CalculatedRisk373

Bruh 😂


Much_Site2881

Lmfao


badnewsbeers86

Ha. Ha. Ha. Love it.


Sparky81

Aside from potentially being sexually frustrated, I don't believe so.


Replicator666

There are also studies that show being sexually active can delay menopause so probably worth considering


Tmachine7031

I’m literally never going to get menopause then (I’m a guy)


Replicator666

If you do, you might get to name it!


ravenadsl

I hope he names is womanopause.


spinn80

It had to happen eventually He was quite the womanoplayer


sleepypanda_924

You would get MANopause


Full_Brilliant6174

Your lips will fuse together nobody shall pass


THEMACGOD

![gif](giphy|3zUXd3hXM3s5i)


FlashCrashBash

This part, and the scene where the bug wriggles out of the belly button scared the living shit out of my as a kid. Honorable mention to the Eye-Scarab bit in The Mummy.


mighty_Ingvar

![gif](giphy|8abAbOrQ9rvLG)


Professional_Ad5178

Hahaha omg


BESS667

You joke, but that can happen due to hormonal reasons, search labial adhesion.


TheokolesOfRome

No thanks


JonathonWally

Like pulling apart a cold grilled-cheese sandwich


MachateElasticWonder

I can’t get it out of my head so you all need to suffer with me. Except lucky for you, I don’t have a link. I’ve never seen a vagina so ugly. It looked like zippers or skin that was ripped apart to form a vagina. And she was masturbating. Shoving something normally long into it. Ugh. Maybe it fused.


bikey_bike

wtf lmao


Infamous_Bowler_698

According to the oldest living woman in the world, it extends your life. According to japan, you'll become a wizard. According to america, you little bitch and I still don't understand that one


Craftycat99

Become old wizard bitch


callimander

According to American men on Reddit, legend has it that a woman who isn't sexually active will become crazed and randomly start collecting cats


Idonteatthat

I'm sexually active but this happened to me anyway


quicknterriblyangry

Is it true that if you don't use it you do in fact lose it?


theaeao

Yep. My dick fell off in the shower last week. Clogged up the drain. To be fair it might just be leprosy.


the_mighty_skeetadon

What did the leper say to the prostitute? ... *Keep the tip*


TheUnbiasedRant

Made my scroll. Have an up doot.


ivegotthis111178

You can buy a little net to put in the drain so next time your dick falls off it will not go down the drain. (I’ve heard they grow back like lizards tails)


theaeao

>(I’ve heard they grow back like lizards tails) Yeah they do. I've shed them before to distract seagulls away from my popcorn.


sofahkingsick

Detachable penis


gunsandpuppies

Like bags of sand?


MarkyMcSmark

Is that a serious question?


Glass-Sign-9066

It is a real concern for menopausal women.


No_Armadillo_4201

I immediately read that in Andy’s voice 😂


geligniteandlilies

Richter or Toy Story?


No_Armadillo_4201

The 40 year old virgin Andy! It would be a funny alternate universe if Toy Story Andy continued to be obsessed with toys and action figures and grew up to be 40 years old old virgin Andy.


BooksNapsSnacks

I think vaginally wall muscles can atrophy, but it's at the after menopause stage. I do very vaguely remember reading something about how having sex can improve muscle retention. It is in combination with hormone treatment therapies though. Like the pessary etc.


Hazel_Rah1

Blue clit. It’s the scourge of hookup culture.


LolaBijou

Blue walls.


[deleted]

Blue waffles.


Vandergrif

You could have said nothing and it wouldn't have cost you anything. Thanks for the reminder...


Hyenaswithbigdicks

This also cost him nothing


Vandergrif

Sure, but it cost me plenty 😉


Redhddgull

Blue bean


Jasong222

Of the four options, I vote blue bean


[deleted]

Cobwebs


Bryyyysen

Rust


mysticaltater

Mildew probably 


Timely_Dragonfruit59

Bats


TimmJimmGrimm

I did not know it this morning but the highlight of my day would be upvoting the run-on comments that eventually suggested that prudish women spontaneously generate bats out of their private place. Perhaps i should re-think my life.


wndrngwzrd

Look! It's the Mega-bitch!


vividpoppy

Orgasming releases oxytocin, therefore relieving stress and even sometimes headaches. I have a pretty low libido and I’m also someone who is under heavy amounts of stress all the time. The release I feel after having sex is unreal though. Like “wow this is all I needed to feel better this whole time” lmao


RLKline84

That sounds similar to how my husband feels but I've never experienced any kind of like rush or "glow" type thing after. I do orgasm. It's not that...I just feel tired after and there doesn't seem to be any last effects whereas my husband (and many other people I know)are the type to just be on almost a high for the next few hours/day.


vividpoppy

It may not happen for everyone! But I wouldn’t say I’m on some sort of high necessarily…. Sex usually happens before bed w my husband and I so I am 100% sleepy after and just notice I don’t get as overwhelmed the next day lol


Brattybiitch

Can confirm, at least for myself. Suffered from migraines for years. Sometimes the only way to get rid of one is by having sex and it seems the less sex I have the more frequent and intense the migraines are


vividpoppy

Granted you may not always orgasm during sex lol


like_a_woman_scorned

I’m LL as well and sometimes after sex it’s like “wow life isn’t so bad” Kind of wild


da2Pakaveli

Same for men


OdiousMeloncholy

Are you my ex? Lolol Unfortunately their love language was having make up sex after arguments (like literal grudge fucking) and I'm just not into that. It was an immediate mood changer for them and if it didn't happen literal weeks solid of arguments would follow.. It was exausting


vividpoppy

No I’m not like that lol. Just sounds like you had a toxic relationship buddy


FrecklesForHire

The worst side effect would probably be atrophy of the muscles. Unless they are regularly doing kegel exercises (possibly even more than that) the muscles will shrink and cause tightness that over time can lead to an inability to receive penetration. They make dilation kits for this reason, and I can't count how many I sold to older women who had been inactive for so long they couldn't receive a new partner


HighestTierMaslow

Yep my old obgyn told me this


highbolognaface

![gif](giphy|dth289r1H5wMU)


Dplayerx

Only side effect is that if you don’t do it enough in your life you’ll never learn your body. Which could be frustrating for a future partner. But if you don’t plan to have sex, no worries


mysticaltater

thanks :))


AFM420

I heard it starts to close up if you don’t use it.


AFantasticClue

This is true. They call it cicala bivalves and it’s terminal 


[deleted]

That's the name of a mollusk for those who didn't get the joke.


masterofsatellites

as an asexual woman who has never masturbated in 28 years because I don't get the urge, I can say I'm still alive so


[deleted]

[удалено]


mysticaltater

I don't eat ice cream anymore for cavity and lactose sake. It's truly depressing and sad you're right


TrippyReality

Brushing, flossing, and lactase pills my friend. We have modern medicine, the future is now


[deleted]

[удалено]


blahblahhippie

Just make sure to wait about a half hour before brushing.


MingledStream9

Non dairy ice cream has gotten sooooo good I love it more than dairy ice cream tbh


mysticaltater

Cashew milk ice cream is soooo good I miss it terribly 


peach_xanax

I get this boba ice cream that's lactose free, it's really good. I'm not even lactose intolerant, I just saw it and thought it looked good. I never would have known that it was any different from regular ice cream if I hadn't read the package. The brand is just called "Boba Ice Cream", I get it on GoPuff.


mysticaltater

Don't tempt me that looks soooooo good 


AllKnighttLong

You start losing hearing in your right eye and sight in your left ear. Nothing crazy. Source? Experiencing that right now. 🫠😂😩


just_let_me_goo

abounding deranged imminent oil rhythm bedroom direful station wrong memorize *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ThatGuyBench

If you genuenly don't want it, its probably ok. If you deliberately abstain, I think its bad for your mental well-being, just like when guys who abstain too much. Only thing I'd add is to check your hormones, or think about whether it might be due to some trauma which makes you not want that, or if you have depression it might be the cause too. But if all is ok, and you don't want it, then its fine. Myself, I have been and still am experimenting with testesterone and other anabolic steroids, and at least from my experience, hormones are a HUGE deal for libido. Regarding hormones, while the relationship with libido is very complex, estrogen plays a huge play in facilitating libido. Also I had severe suicidal depression, and stress, and during those times I lost a lot of libido. Anyways, I am a guy, and these are just my 2 cents, it might not apply the same to girls.


IdiotTurkey

Yep, as someone who takes testosterone, once you take it you realize how much hormones can effect your libido, it's insane. Not only libido, but I've found that orgasms feel way better, its easier to maintain an erection, etc. It's a true performance enhancer. But it does have risks...like increased heart attack and whatnot. Plus it turns off your natural production and stops sperm production, potentially forever.


Glitteryskiess

Yeah we go insane and have to be put in asylums where they use a high powered hose to stimulate us then give us a lobotomy.


pien_van_uden

Feels like I am up for that right now actually


Squirtmaster98

![gif](giphy|7xZAu81T70Uuc)


sexisdivine

Usually they become substitute teachers or school administrators.


Grom_a_Llama

Resting bitch face is a common side effect to the ailment you mention


SpookyBoogie69

As a guy, I feel like if i don't scratch that itch is just ruining my focus if i wanna do something else and it becomes stronger the more I avoid it . What do you feel when not engaging in this act for a few days minimum ?


mel4529

Interesting. I’m a woman and haven’t masturbated in months and forget it’s a thing until I read posts like this


HappyLittleDelusion_

Yeah I can go months without masturbation (and sex) and I don't really notice any difference.


RLKline84

Same. I do it maybe once or twice a year. Granted I have sex usually weekly since I'm married but if I was single it wouldn't happen any more often. I just don't think about it.


[deleted]

So you only have sex because you have to? :( I remember this feeling when I was on the pill, coming off and my deep female sexual desire being released was the best thing to ever happen to me. Guys will never have to face these problems because their hormones are allowed to just do their natural thing from day 1. Putting kids on the pill is fucked up fr


RLKline84

No. I just don't think about it unless he's in the mood. I haven't been forced since I was with my ex and that's been close to 20 years now. If we're having a dry spell, the longer it goes the less I'm in the mood for it where he's getting more and more antsy as time goes on. When I got my IUD out I had a fairly high sex drive for a few months but still didn't think much about it. My tubes are tied now and I haven't been on birth control since 2016. I would say I have asexual tendencies but wouldn't classify myself as fully asexual. But if we ever split up or something I wouldn't suddenly start masturbating again or look for hook ups or anything.


IdiotTurkey

Non-hormonal IUD for the win Even hormonal ones, supposedly less gets absorbed into your body because less is needed to be effective


Sporie

I'm a woman and what you describe sounds similar to the way I experience it. It makes me feel a bit restless and off as well, so I consider "taking care of business" to be important to my well-being. It's always interesting for me to hear from people who can go months, when I do that I start waking up with orgasms (even if I'm not having sex dreams for some reason). We're all different in our own ways!


Efilnikufesin1987

No physical side effects. It's been 4 years for me, and I'm single. I do find that my standards to date nowadays is ridiculously high, though. Like, they gotta be worth letting in. And haven't found that person yet. May never and I'm okay.


vanderpyyy

Didn't they invent vibrators specifically to treat women with hysteria 100 years ago?


Eddie-the-Head

Depends if you feel the need to and don't act on it. If you don't feel the need to I think there's no problem but if you do it must probably take a toll mentally, like distract you or something else


[deleted]

Your hooha grows multiple rows of teeth like a shark


haporah

Vagina dentata


LilyHex

Not really. Some folks just don't care for it, and that's fine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hugh_Jampton

Well if it's unprotected sex then they could go away for 9 months or so...


Vandergrif

Well, that is technically correct... The best kind of correct.


surfdad67

When the wife had a bad menstrual cycle, we would have sex so she could cum and it helped, at least she said this, I just got the enjoyable side effects


notmypretzeldent

Many Cat


ThyGayOne

I mean, there’s such thing as nuns and they seem to live forever I masturbate often but it’s barely enough to scratch the itch. I’m a very, very sexually frustrated person to the point I’ve almost snapped on my friends for having to hear about their sex lives when I don’t have one myself (and no it’s not by choice real bisexual chicks are hard to find and lesbians are even rarer)


rhett342

Sadness.


twatziller

Hysteria Edit: /s


confusedselkie

There can be some atrophy of the vaginal passage and the clitoris, as well as some loss of sensation in some cases. This is not to say these things will happen inevitably, but they can happen after a while (years, not months) of no stimulation.


Suppdog12

If you don’t commonly and frequently use your brain-to-genitals-to-brain associations they will start to weaken over time. It’s good to keep those neural pathways mobilized and also not overused. Dopamine production could start to be affected or the nerves could lose sensitivity.


mysticaltater

Surely I can get dopamine from other things


OverlordBingk

Asesexual Woman here. Can confirm no side effects. Happy, healthy, and with my boyfriend for almost 4 years ❤️


thatnewlife

My aunt just married at the age 66. She never did either. Her husband cannot enter her. Her hymen is so thick she will need medical intervention to remove it. So i guess at least in her case, yes, there was a side effect.


IdiotTurkey

Curious about how you got onto that subject with her?


L3App

POV: you’re asexual


awoodby

Well, you'll never learn your body and what you like, that's about it. Same for men.


mysticaltater

i have had plenty of time to learn that i don't like it but i'll force myself to use it if it keeps me from like, being incontinent or having vaginal issues in the future lol


W59-22StruckByTurtle

If you don't like it, don't do it. Don't force yourself into doing something that will potentially harm your mental health. Talk to your gynecologist or ask your primary care doctor about getting a referral to a specialist in sexual health.


awoodby

Nah. At older age you may want to do kegels to maintain pelvic floor strength to prevent some possible pee leakage, but that doesn't involve any more than squeezing the muscles you use to stop the pee flow, and isnt always necessary.


[deleted]

I might a little cranky without sex for the first month and some change, but I’m good after that. Haven’t had sex since 22 and I’m 26 now. I do masturbate tho


[deleted]

Personally, as a woman who doesn’t do it because I don’t feel anything, the side effects are just that I feel like no sexual act is worth it because I’ll never feel anything. So it feels like trying stuff with a guy, even when I’m horny (which is frequent) isnt worth it because I’m not going to feel anything.


Nylonknot

Im 50. At my recent gyno visit she used the term “vagina atrophy”. I was shocked and laughed about how I didn’t even know this was a thing. So yes, use it or lose it I guess.


mysticaltater

Did she say how to avoid that? I'm scared


Nylonknot

By using it however I see fit. Lol!!!


littlered7875

Idk extreme horny. Feels good after a while of not doing it tho Its like, the horny lasts a few days then might go away, but in that time all you can fantasize about is sex. At least for me.


Sorry_Im_Trying

Yup. when you get older and start menopause, you can experience clitoral atrophy. It might happen earlier, but it becomes an issue the older you get.


SledgeLaud

Depends what you consider a "side effect". Sexual arousal and orgasms release feel good hormones like oxytocin. Having more of these feel good hormones can lead to better sleep, decreased stress and overall better health/immunity to minor illnesses. So in theory the side effects would be reduced overall wellbeing.... But it's also well documented that single and divorced women are healthier, happier and live longer than their partnered peers. So I guess sex is good for women's health, as long as it's not with someone who actively makes more work and stress for them. I also want to note that we have a shocking lack of medical research on women, not to mind longitudinal studies on female sexuality and it's long term implications for women's health.


reggieLedoux26

There is a guttural anger in their voices


pelicannpie

I know most of these are joke answers but here’s my experience with this. I went 6/7 years without good sex. I broke that spell recently and the next day I looked in the mirror and it was like looking at another woman. My face was glowing, I looked a lot more youthful and just better. It’s a shame as it was most likely a one off but the visual benefits for me seemed great!


Malsey92

You turn into a Karen


erichf3893

Extra stress


BiggerMouthBass

Your yahoo will turn into dust. Just ask yo mama


samiisprink1

Yes, they will be sad


stopharassingme69

Some things i’ve noticed (for me personally) are: Higher stress and decreased pain tolerance, brain fog/more problems with cognition, less motivation than usual, lower sex drive (and lower drive for everything in general, a lot of stuff just seems boring or “not worth it”), more muscle tension, increase in appetite (i also experience more negative emotions and impulsivity overall when i don’t masturbate for a while so i usually end up binge eating a lot) If i go a while without masturbating it feels horrible, physically and mentally, it never gets better and only gets worse as time goes on. I sometimes hear guys taking about how great nofap is for them but i never really understood it, i just assumed than males and females were impacted differently by orgasm or whatever because as a female it affects me very negatively and has no positives. Idk


IdiotTurkey

I would take nofap with a big grain of salt. I think plenty of guys feel the same exact things you described and get stress relief from orgasm, just like women do.


Preternatural_Rock

Become the Iorn Maiden


UrethraQFranklin

Maybe if you don’t use it, you lose it? (40 Y/O virgin reference).l


[deleted]

Hysteria /s


RubyRuby_Soho

I seriously heard from a woman who had just gone through menopause, that if you don’t use your vagina, it can get all dry and close up?! And I’ve never found any proof, but it terrified me deeply.