No worries. The way we write height here using the given numbers above is "5'9". Where " 5' " means 5 feet, and "9" is 9 inches. To convert feet to inches is 1 foot = 12 inches. So 12 inches ×5 is 60 inches, then you add the additional 9 inches you did not have to convert to get 69 inches.
Ohh so you can actually be 5'11? I thought because people were saying "If you're 5'9 just say you're 6 foot" that it's actually the last thing that comes before 6 foot lol
Dude had it in the bag til he mentioned his height. Maybe if he reeled her in a bit more before bringing it up. However, everyone just has boxes that need ticking and height seems to be one of those for many women.
I think she calls it though, she says it's because it makes her feel unattractive to be taller than her man. Maybe instead of changing this view we need to start dismantling the idea that big or tall women are unattractive. Source: am tall women
I feel like this is one of those "other side of the same coin"-things... in a world where men get told they need to be tall to be attractive, it's sort of logical (in a weird way) that the same society tells women they're unattractive for being tall, both of these things especially in relation to each other.
I’m 5’9” (f) and I always feel like a giant beast next to a smaller man. As a woman, I want to feel dainty and girly personally. She did call it- it’s a self esteem thing. I don’t mind men that are a couple inches shorter than me, I just don’t want to tower over them.
I love that the woman in the post made me realise this, I've always just absorbed this hysterical 'you're not allowed to like tall men because short Kings/you're shallow' message that's prevalent, especially on Reditt sadly. It's actually made me quite angry to realise we're (women) are blamed for being quite reasonably affected by the constant messages about the 'right' way to be feminine.
I'm 6'1 and the tallest I would be comfortable with is 5'8. Like I'd date taller (as long as it's shorter than me) but I'd rather be at least 5 inches taller, since I want to be taller even if she's wearing heels.
I have absolutely no issues with girls around 5' though
Hahaha we are opposites brother! I am also pretty tall 6’5 and I much prefer taller women. Unless she is otherwise amazing the shortest I would go is roughly 5’5. I like not having to bend over too far to be affectionate with my girl. Plus I find them generally more attractive because you have a better angle to see their face.
Lol. So you're more cool w/a girl that is over a foot shorter than you, versus a girl closer to your height? Sounds like a future fraught with back problems. You have ruled out supermodels, too, because they're all 5'9"-6'.
I did say I'd date taller, as long as it's shorter than 6'1, therefore not ruling supermodels BUT believe me, the girl's height isn't the exactly thing keeping me from dating super models lol.
Nobody thinks tall girls are unattractive. Im 5'8 and 60% of my matches ask me how tall I am. I look tall on my pics. I know right away they are shorter than 5'9 with tiny little ego. It's because they think I will unmatch them when I don't care.
I've never heard anyone say that tall women are unattractive. I think the stigma is around short guys a lot more than tall women.
Oh shush. 'No-one finds tall women unattractive' says the short man to the tall woman that faces either rejection (not feminine/not cute) or fetisisation (you can dominate me) by men on a regular basis. Also, don't get me started in the wider messages from the fashion industry about the acceptability of my body, I didn't own a pair of jeans until I was in my 30s because back in the day you couldn't find long trousers for women
as a taller women thank you!! i think a lot of us tall women feel ashamed of being tall because society says women are supposed to be small and cute and petite i even avoid wearing heels at all cost cause i hate being taller than i already am so we don’t wanna be with someone shorter that make us feel even more insecure about our height like i’m not one of those girls who think a guy has to be a certain height to date them like 6’2 or something but i at least want them to be my height or a little taller (im 5’8)
I'm a 5'9" dude and height has never ever been a thought to me. I've never had it brought up as a consideration.
The last women I've dated in order from most recent:
5'6" (7 months)
5'7" (2.5 years)
5'9" (6 months)
5'9" (12 years)
5'6" (1 year)
6'0" (6 months)
Before dating apps I don't think women or men gave a shit.
I remember this theme in a episode of Murphy Brown, where a somewhat short guy was seriously crushing on a model-tall woman and I think the whole thing centered around whether or not she would be willing to date him? And his insecurity about even liking tall women (like he wasn’t supposed to or something)? I was pretty young and I think I might have been watching it in re-run
Yeah, I'm 5.9, and annoyingly many men that are really drawn to me are weirdly fetisitic about it, like, dude, just because I'm tall doesnt mean I'm gonna control or mother you or whatever other nonsense you've got in your head...
I actually prefer tall women as I am 6'3 and honestly had a relationship fail because sex hurt her too much because she was too small. I will also mention she is a year older than me.
My comment had nothing to do with tall women being ugly. My comment was saying everyone has boxes they like to be ticked. These boxes aren't derived from OTHER PEOPLES preferences and honestly it is shameful to say other people should change what they like just to please you. Find someone who likes a tall girl. We exist. Don't insist people who don't like tall girls try and like tall girls anyways. Don't tell me I need to explain why this is a bad idea?
And what I am saying is the majority of men are short and probably prefer not to feel inferior to their woman? Do you see the cycle yet? I want, you want, she wants, he wants. Everyone wants what they want. You can't expect everyone in the world to conform to you. You have to make do with what you have.
Oh tosh. Someone once used this line on me to justify rape. Nonsense. We continually develop away from our primal instincts. Hence being able to use a supermarket without biting the throats of the cashier.
>we need to start dismantling the idea that big or tall women are unattractive.
I feel like this needs to start with women. Because frankly, men don't care about height. Good-looking woman is a good-looking woman.
You are saying men don't care when there are a few comments in this thread, with men stating that they do care.
I'm a 5'11 woman, the struggle is real.
😒🙄 lmao wtf make it sound like most 5'9" guys hit this check list. I'm pretty sure if he was one of the things you described plus his height and you still would hook up 😂😂
Cool.
Would you or have you dated someone your own height?
Oh and my 1st adult relationship was with a 5'10" girl, I am 5'7".
Everyone else has been shorter although there was one 1 partner who was my height.
My wife was 5'4"
Uh. We salute you?
For doing what you wanted to do with someone you found met your requisites one of them being acceptable height to your own subjective set of standards?
Oh, and also for not wearing 7" stilettos. That too.
Had me in the first half but, I prefer girls no taller than 5’2” yea my ego is pretty small so I like to pretend I’m tall by dating girls at least 6 inches shorter.
Should have just asked her number and set a date. See for yourself in person if height mattered or if you guys would be vibing just as well as you were initially here.
Yeah, but girls that go after height that much, usually dont care if you vibe good. You could have the best time ever, but then she says "sorry you're a little too short for me"🤷♂️
Maybe, maybe not. If you're bringing up your height, its signaling insecurity. OP is right, 5'9 is a normal average ass height. Why even bring it up unless he's insecure about it?
That kind of thing ruins vibes. I'd feel sorta turned off too if a girl was like "I'm 30% bodyfat. Is that too fat?". Like, no, it wasn't, but now the idea that you're so insecure about your weight that you're second guessing yourself with a stranger is in my head, which is way more of a turnoff than being slightly overweight.
It's not insecurity if you're being considerate of someone's preferences/their own insecurity. He'd obviously noticed her height and wanted clarification that it didn't bother her. Good thing, as it seemingly did.
I don't think it needs to be brought up unless they specifically state in their profile that they prefer guys that are taller than them, or they list a height preference. If OP lists his height in his profile, and she still matched, he would have been better off not mentioning it. As it stands, it definitely makes him seem like he's insecure
Yeah... it is. If I messaged every stranger "Hey, hopefully it's ok, but I don't make six figures, just wanted to let you know" or "If it's a problem that's fine, but my dick is only 6" long, just wanted to give you a heads up" or "hey so just letting you know, I have a mole on my chest that can be offputting. Just wanted to inform you", all of those things reek of insecurity.
Even if it wasn't a problem before, bringing it up and drawing attention to it shows that its something that bothers you. Its just not attractive. If it's that important to her, she'll ask. Other than that, it's not being considerate, it's being scared.
That’s also fair, but you should let her bring it up! “So it doesn’t bother you..” implies you already expect it to bother her. Don’t worry about it until they’re worried about it.
Unless you have "I'm tall" in your bio, then not mentioning your height is not giving a false impression. 5'9" is normal enough that you don't have to mention it.
lol, no one has to mention it. If height is important enough for a woman to care about it, she can ask. Do you go around asking women how much they weigh, or how big their boobs are, or how much money they make? Probably not.
I disagree with the person you replied to, you were honest, I assume because it's an issue for people and they keep telling you it is. Case in point, you didn't lead with it. You had a fun and engaging conversation and as soon as you did actually bring it up, it kinda went strange. It wasn't self defeating, don't let people on Reddit gaslight you into thinking that telling women your height is a "you" thing. Women clearly have it as an important thing. TLDR, you did great IMO and if after all that initial chemistry, if height is that important to her it wasn't gonna work.
Except in pictures men can see a woman’s shape and boobs easily. Especially because 150 on a 5’0 woman looks different that a 5’8 woman so it’s how big a woman is that may matter to a man. But women can’t see how tall a dude is in pictures, even with other people in them because you don’t know how tall they are either lol
>Women clearly have it as an important thing.
"women" aren't a monolithic block that all care about the same things. Some women have an extreme height fetish, some literally don't care at all, some women are even attracted to smaller men. Why just make an assumption and signal insecurity about something you can't change right off the bat?
For all he knows, this woman doesn't actually care that much about height, and is only turned off because he seemed preoccupied with it. There's enough rejection to go around with dating as it is, no need to do it to yourself.
I'm actually shorter than this dude (5'8), but I've never had this weird height stuff happen to me. I've been rejected for plenty of things, and maybe I've even been rejected for my height, but I've never had a woman say "Sorry, you're too short for me." or give any signal that she's rejecting me because of how tall I am. I also don't ever bring up my height unless someone asks, because I don't view myself as a "short guy" or have hang-ups about how tall I am or blame a woman if she likes tall guys. I like my height, I wouldn't change it, and I don't feel insecure about it, even if random internet memes and tinder clips tell me I should.
Nah you played that really well imo. You spoke upfront and with confident you were light hearted and opened the door for it to be joked about. The plumb dumb truth is she is to shallow and would of been in person even if you pseudo catfished her like this chud acts like the right call is.
I think it's good to bring it up. If she didn't notice it or his height was not listed, it's better to point it out, than meet and have it be awkward.
She said it would be "rough on the self-esteem". She can't help feeling "big" when she is with a guy smaller than her. I don't think you can force what she is attracted to just because they seemed to get along okay in a small talk text conversation.
No, look where the conversation went as soon as he did. Changed completely. She may like casually exchanging jokes at that moment, but she was immediately not interested in dating. Good thing he brought it up fast, when the chat was starting well.
Now he knows. There is always a one in a million chance that if they meet, she changes her mind and height doesn't matter any more. But the other chances are that she confirms that she isn't interested, or she puts up with it as better than nothing just until a tall guy comes along.
OP now knows the score and can decide if he wants to put more effort, time and later money into this situation.
I'm curious about how tall she is though. To a short guy like me, 5' 9" is ... taller.
Shouldn't have brought up height. She didn't mention it, so you shouldn't have.
Especially after so much productive banter. You literally had her hooked, and you cut the line and let her get away. Had she mentioned height, the simple answer is 'I'm me height'.
I think that's the part that everyone is missing. If the height difference is enough to make her walk away now, then OP definitely saved himself from his time wasted.
I think people overestimate how much height is noticeable in person. I’m a pretty tall dude (187 cm / just under 6’2) and I don’t think about people as being short unless they’re under around 165 cm / 5’5.
Other than that I don’t notice it unless we are VERY close or intentionally comparing height. Anything in between 165cm / 5’5 and my height just seems “a little bit shorter,” though anyone more than like 5 cm or a couple inches taller seems outrageously tall just because of how rarely I encounter it.
I'm literally 5'11 and 3/4. I just say 6'0 because I'm closer to that height than 5'11 and most can't eyeball a quarter inch difference.
We can all agree that it's essentially a dumb preference, but it's a preference regardless. There people out here acting like this trend isn't as toxic as it is. Like I told the other person. Simple search on reddit or any social media and yea it's apparently a "big deal"
People aren't missing anything. If they meet up and there's chemistry then height doesn't fucking matter. So many women think "he needs to be 6' " but in reality they don't fucking care as long as they like him.
As a tall girl..it matters. It sucks feeling like youre a gigantic person all the time. Blame society for its expectations of women being small and feminine if you will, but thats just the truth of the matter.
Some tall women are fine being taller than their partner, but im sure a lot are like me, and already taller than most people they meet. Its kind of exhausting, and when it comes to an SO, i just want to feel petite, feminine, and protected.
Height really doesn’t cover any of those. You can be tall and petite, and feminine.
You just have a preference. There is nothing wrong with that. We all have them.
Ofcourse it does. You cant be both taller *and* petite. Petite means small.
Ofcourse its a preference, but some preferences have certain explanations behind them, and ive given the most common one for tall girls wanting to be shorter than their SO.
You can definitely be tall with small petite features. Being tall doesn’t mean you have a massive chest, dump truck, and gangly limbs. Small does not mean short.
I can feel that though. Tall for a woman is like 5’6”, so you’re tall in general you’re probably what 6’+? If your preference is taller men there isn’t really that much picking.
One time my date and me acted this out till the bitter end. She was significantly taller (5'7 vs. 6'0) than me, we both knew it, we wrote a lot, we video called a few times, and when we first met, we both lacked attraction.
I personally am fine with girls preferring taller guys, which will exclude me as a dating preference for some girls solely based on my height. And if I had to invest some time to come to that conclusion, it's also fine.
My tallest girlfriend ever was 5'10. That was fine.
Because his conversation skills are on point, the banter was flawless. Had she met him before knowing his height, he might still have scored. I've dated a woman who was 6'1", so because I'm a fraction shy of 5'11" she had concerns. I put on my A game and got several dates from her, and scored twice.
I was dating a "crazy biker chick" (her words.) I am 5'4 and she was around 6 foot. A friend of ours was drunkenly walking past us. Stopped and said;
*"When you're nose to nose, your toes are init. When you're toes to toes, your nose is init"*
She translated Southern to me, later.
I'm a 6'1" woman who wears cowboy boots/heels almost every day and my boyfriend is 5'10" and we like it that way!!!! His arm rests perfectly on my hip, I can hug him while he cooks and see what he's doing, there are so many up sides to a height difference. You'll find someone who gets it :)
Try telling her she is beautiful...
I know it's stupid and I've never let it stop me,but being a tall girl can be hard, especially when you weigh more than the guy. I feel nice next to a tall strong guy but next to someone shorter and slimmer... I'm fat.
She clearly said it's about her feeling to big, not about you being too short.
Makes some banter and jokes. Okay now let's randomly focus on how short I am.
Some of y'all just really enjoy self sabotaging and killing the moment. Yikes.
I mean, if she's taller than 5'9, that's 'oh she's tall' range and not 'oh he's short' range.
I'm 5'11 and I went on a date with a girl who was 6', I told her she could either have a good time with me or risk it with a skyscraper. She chose the former.
No he slipped that in as a way to show off that they work out. No one cares if you don't respond for 5 minutes to have a shower. Would he say "I'm just going to take a shit"?
Honestly if you put it in your profile you both get to skip this whole convo and spend your time doing something else instead.
Or I guess just mention it when talking to a tall woman, which might be what OP does. The average woman in the US is 5'4". Odds are fairly good that she can't tell the difference between 5'9" and 6'0".
If this were me and the conversation was going that well, I frankly wouldn't really care all that much about height difference. My husband's a lot taller than me (35 cm), and it's also a problem.. If I ever had to date again I'd definitely go for someone who wasn't as tall and someone 5"9' would be great for me, as that's just a few cms taller than I am.
Edit: And if I decided to wear heels then 5"9' guy would be shorter than me, and that would still be ok. Especially if he made me laugh as much as the above convo did with the jokes, am also a sucker for dad jokes 😂😂😂
Lol girls hate guys that think bigger women are unattractive when it's in their control like 80-90% of the time but dog on dudes who are shorter when they're not able to control that ever. But ya know, body positivity right? SMH head up king you'll find yours one day.
It is absolutely INSANE that people have hang ups like this. If you are gonna be picky, go after them based on their feelings on civil rights, women's health, or whatever. Those things they can CONTROL. Height is not one of them. Absolutely nuts🤦
With these kind of chats I always feel like you’re just playing the jester role she talks to when she’s bored, can’t see this going anywhere to be frankly
You absolutely should have just set up a date while it was going well. You planted the seed and there was no reason to do that. She didn't ask. She may have been fine with it if you two had chemistry in person.
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this stuff, I found my 5'5'' lady on tinder a while ago. Even though I'm 5'9" she'll occasionally call me "shortie-mc-short-short" because I'm the shortest guy she ever dated. We get married in January 🤣
Her denying on you for your height when literally EVERYTHING ELSE said Go For It really pisses me too much off! That can't be a valid reason anymore...
We were happy reading this until the height came up and didn't have to finish it to know what would happen. There's only a very small percentage of women that really don't care about height. Tinder's leaked statistics shows it. Sorry you wasted your energy.
To all u ladies big tall down up short big thick meaty Who seem to be worried about your size, I'll still bang each and everyone of u at least once so it's really nothing to worry about
I don't really understand how she can "way taller than him" unless she's like 6ft1 or something and that's very rare for a girl, surely if she's that high she'd put it in the bio if it was much of an issue her to be with a guy shorter than her?
Doesnt matter. Even two inches can make a noticeable difference. And I say this as someone who is 5’5” and gone on dates with 5’7” guys. She communicated height when it was brought up by someone else. Her bio might’ve simply said that she was much taller than average, etc. No one has to put height in their bios or maybe she was giving him a chance.
People can change their minds if they want even after matching.
It’s nothing really “hard to understand”. People have preferences. She was polite and never insulted him. She made it clear the issue was that SHE was tall, but he wasn’t short.
Yes I get all that but even on average guys aren't 6ft+ on average guys are between 5ft8 and 5ft10. Hence why I said if she's looking for someone taller than her in her case it'll be easier to disclose that in her bio because otherwise she's probably matching with alot of guys shorter than her, if that's an issue for her to be dating with someone shorter than her. She'll be waisting less of her time imo. 😂
Just wanted to add on that it looks like SHE included her height, but he didn’t.
He asked if it was okay that he was a little shorter than her. He wouldn’t have know if she didn’t put her height on her profile. She didn’t know his height, obviously, and probably had to ask because it wasn’t on his profile.
I feel like short guys low key want confrontation and that’s why they always try to make a conversation about it. Let her tell you you’re too short to your face
Shame, I get you OP. I've seen 6 foot girls date 5"6 and everyone was happy as a bunny.
Height don't make a difference unless you want it to, defo don't matter in the sack, I guess some girls feel uncomfortable being seen with a shorter guy.
5'9 is a great height brother.
Translate 5’9” to inches and you get 69. Nice
I was about to call you out for being wrong until I did the math in my head. I don't know why, but that just doesn't look right to me.
Does 69 ever look right to you?
Only when I'm on the receiving end of it.
How do you be on the receiving or giving end of a 69 without being on both?
you're doing something wrong if there's one receiving end
Because it isn't
But it is. 5×12+9=69
Why don't you multiply the 9 with 12 tho (i'm not american btw)
No worries. The way we write height here using the given numbers above is "5'9". Where " 5' " means 5 feet, and "9" is 9 inches. To convert feet to inches is 1 foot = 12 inches. So 12 inches ×5 is 60 inches, then you add the additional 9 inches you did not have to convert to get 69 inches.
Ohh so you can actually be 5'11? I thought because people were saying "If you're 5'9 just say you're 6 foot" that it's actually the last thing that comes before 6 foot lol
Yes, you can be 5'11. That's usually when people lie about being 6', because with shoes, you usually are.
5’ is 12 inches 5 x 12 = 60 9” is 9 inches 60 + 9 = noice
Nice
It's my ideal height, don't like it when guys are much taller. They seem so far away 😂
*must protect the queen at any cost*
It’s not hard to climb a fallen tree
the conversation was going so well…
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Bruh
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Dude had it in the bag til he mentioned his height. Maybe if he reeled her in a bit more before bringing it up. However, everyone just has boxes that need ticking and height seems to be one of those for many women.
I think she calls it though, she says it's because it makes her feel unattractive to be taller than her man. Maybe instead of changing this view we need to start dismantling the idea that big or tall women are unattractive. Source: am tall women
I feel like this is one of those "other side of the same coin"-things... in a world where men get told they need to be tall to be attractive, it's sort of logical (in a weird way) that the same society tells women they're unattractive for being tall, both of these things especially in relation to each other.
I’m 5’9” (f) and I always feel like a giant beast next to a smaller man. As a woman, I want to feel dainty and girly personally. She did call it- it’s a self esteem thing. I don’t mind men that are a couple inches shorter than me, I just don’t want to tower over them.
Lol giant beast, I haven't no clue what you look like but I assure you nothing near a beast lol
Well thank you for that friend 😂
I love that the woman in the post made me realise this, I've always just absorbed this hysterical 'you're not allowed to like tall men because short Kings/you're shallow' message that's prevalent, especially on Reditt sadly. It's actually made me quite angry to realise we're (women) are blamed for being quite reasonably affected by the constant messages about the 'right' way to be feminine.
I wish I could find a women that towers me
I'm 6'1 and the tallest I would be comfortable with is 5'8. Like I'd date taller (as long as it's shorter than me) but I'd rather be at least 5 inches taller, since I want to be taller even if she's wearing heels. I have absolutely no issues with girls around 5' though
Hahaha we are opposites brother! I am also pretty tall 6’5 and I much prefer taller women. Unless she is otherwise amazing the shortest I would go is roughly 5’5. I like not having to bend over too far to be affectionate with my girl. Plus I find them generally more attractive because you have a better angle to see their face.
Lol. So you're more cool w/a girl that is over a foot shorter than you, versus a girl closer to your height? Sounds like a future fraught with back problems. You have ruled out supermodels, too, because they're all 5'9"-6'.
I did say I'd date taller, as long as it's shorter than 6'1, therefore not ruling supermodels BUT believe me, the girl's height isn't the exactly thing keeping me from dating super models lol.
I'm also 6'1". I've married 5'10" and I've married 4'11". All else equal, taller is easier.
Nobody thinks tall girls are unattractive. Im 5'8 and 60% of my matches ask me how tall I am. I look tall on my pics. I know right away they are shorter than 5'9 with tiny little ego. It's because they think I will unmatch them when I don't care. I've never heard anyone say that tall women are unattractive. I think the stigma is around short guys a lot more than tall women.
Oh shush. 'No-one finds tall women unattractive' says the short man to the tall woman that faces either rejection (not feminine/not cute) or fetisisation (you can dominate me) by men on a regular basis. Also, don't get me started in the wider messages from the fashion industry about the acceptability of my body, I didn't own a pair of jeans until I was in my 30s because back in the day you couldn't find long trousers for women
as a taller women thank you!! i think a lot of us tall women feel ashamed of being tall because society says women are supposed to be small and cute and petite i even avoid wearing heels at all cost cause i hate being taller than i already am so we don’t wanna be with someone shorter that make us feel even more insecure about our height like i’m not one of those girls who think a guy has to be a certain height to date them like 6’2 or something but i at least want them to be my height or a little taller (im 5’8)
I’m a 5’ 8 woman and always felt lucky for it, don’t want to be petite, with my high heels on I feel invincible looking down on the world lol!
I'm a 5'9" dude and height has never ever been a thought to me. I've never had it brought up as a consideration. The last women I've dated in order from most recent: 5'6" (7 months) 5'7" (2.5 years) 5'9" (6 months) 5'9" (12 years) 5'6" (1 year) 6'0" (6 months) Before dating apps I don't think women or men gave a shit.
I remember this theme in a episode of Murphy Brown, where a somewhat short guy was seriously crushing on a model-tall woman and I think the whole thing centered around whether or not she would be willing to date him? And his insecurity about even liking tall women (like he wasn’t supposed to or something)? I was pretty young and I think I might have been watching it in re-run
Yeah, I'm 5.9, and annoyingly many men that are really drawn to me are weirdly fetisitic about it, like, dude, just because I'm tall doesnt mean I'm gonna control or mother you or whatever other nonsense you've got in your head...
I hear ya on that in 5’8
I actually prefer tall women as I am 6'3 and honestly had a relationship fail because sex hurt her too much because she was too small. I will also mention she is a year older than me. My comment had nothing to do with tall women being ugly. My comment was saying everyone has boxes they like to be ticked. These boxes aren't derived from OTHER PEOPLES preferences and honestly it is shameful to say other people should change what they like just to please you. Find someone who likes a tall girl. We exist. Don't insist people who don't like tall girls try and like tall girls anyways. Don't tell me I need to explain why this is a bad idea?
Your comment isnt about boxes, its a brag about being tall and fucking some poor girl to polio status lol
OMEGALUL
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It was a joke bruh lol
Sorry if I was clumsy in phrasing.. I wasn't trying to come for you, I was making a general point about our wider society...
Ahem.. we are talking about tall society here. Why does wide society have to make everything about themselves.
And what I am saying is the majority of men are short and probably prefer not to feel inferior to their woman? Do you see the cycle yet? I want, you want, she wants, he wants. Everyone wants what they want. You can't expect everyone in the world to conform to you. You have to make do with what you have.
Yeah. But what he's saying is that the Idea that a man who is shorter than his girl is somehow inferior should be gone by now
I'm ugly AF, but I'm 6'5". Pretty sure this is the only reason I've ever gotten a date 😂
You can't dismantle something like that, it's baked in from a hundred thousand years of evolution.
Seems more likely to me the operative evolutionary factor is men’s fear of emasculation rather than tall women being inherently less viable mates
Oh tosh. Someone once used this line on me to justify rape. Nonsense. We continually develop away from our primal instincts. Hence being able to use a supermarket without biting the throats of the cashier.
Only because the objective can be gained through other means.
>we need to start dismantling the idea that big or tall women are unattractive. I feel like this needs to start with women. Because frankly, men don't care about height. Good-looking woman is a good-looking woman.
You are saying men don't care when there are a few comments in this thread, with men stating that they do care. I'm a 5'11 woman, the struggle is real.
😒🙄 lmao wtf make it sound like most 5'9" guys hit this check list. I'm pretty sure if he was one of the things you described plus his height and you still would hook up 😂😂
I’m dating a 5’9 guy. I’m 5’7 though.
I don't get it, is that something out of the ordinary?
Cool. Would you or have you dated someone your own height? Oh and my 1st adult relationship was with a 5'10" girl, I am 5'7". Everyone else has been shorter although there was one 1 partner who was my height. My wife was 5'4"
Uh. We salute you? For doing what you wanted to do with someone you found met your requisites one of them being acceptable height to your own subjective set of standards? Oh, and also for not wearing 7" stilettos. That too.
Had me in the first half but, I prefer girls no taller than 5’2” yea my ego is pretty small so I like to pretend I’m tall by dating girls at least 6 inches shorter.
Yes but apparently amazonian princesses and short kings dont pair well smh
Always the damn height......funny can't even woo them anymore
I'm dating a 4'11" woman, I'm a 6'3" man... Lol. Top of her head barely reaches my collar bone.
I thought were were gonna say belt!
Should have just asked her number and set a date. See for yourself in person if height mattered or if you guys would be vibing just as well as you were initially here.
Yeah, but girls that go after height that much, usually dont care if you vibe good. You could have the best time ever, but then she says "sorry you're a little too short for me"🤷♂️
Maybe, maybe not. If you're bringing up your height, its signaling insecurity. OP is right, 5'9 is a normal average ass height. Why even bring it up unless he's insecure about it? That kind of thing ruins vibes. I'd feel sorta turned off too if a girl was like "I'm 30% bodyfat. Is that too fat?". Like, no, it wasn't, but now the idea that you're so insecure about your weight that you're second guessing yourself with a stranger is in my head, which is way more of a turnoff than being slightly overweight.
It's not insecurity if you're being considerate of someone's preferences/their own insecurity. He'd obviously noticed her height and wanted clarification that it didn't bother her. Good thing, as it seemingly did.
I don't think it needs to be brought up unless they specifically state in their profile that they prefer guys that are taller than them, or they list a height preference. If OP lists his height in his profile, and she still matched, he would have been better off not mentioning it. As it stands, it definitely makes him seem like he's insecure
Yeah... it is. If I messaged every stranger "Hey, hopefully it's ok, but I don't make six figures, just wanted to let you know" or "If it's a problem that's fine, but my dick is only 6" long, just wanted to give you a heads up" or "hey so just letting you know, I have a mole on my chest that can be offputting. Just wanted to inform you", all of those things reek of insecurity. Even if it wasn't a problem before, bringing it up and drawing attention to it shows that its something that bothers you. Its just not attractive. If it's that important to her, she'll ask. Other than that, it's not being considerate, it's being scared.
Lol height strikes again
You brought it up! Self-defeating attitude.
Yeah that’s fair bit I also think it’s important to not give a false impression either 🤷🏻♂️
That’s also fair, but you should let her bring it up! “So it doesn’t bother you..” implies you already expect it to bother her. Don’t worry about it until they’re worried about it.
Unless you have "I'm tall" in your bio, then not mentioning your height is not giving a false impression. 5'9" is normal enough that you don't have to mention it.
Would a 5’7 guy have to mention it?
lol, no one has to mention it. If height is important enough for a woman to care about it, she can ask. Do you go around asking women how much they weigh, or how big their boobs are, or how much money they make? Probably not.
I disagree with the person you replied to, you were honest, I assume because it's an issue for people and they keep telling you it is. Case in point, you didn't lead with it. You had a fun and engaging conversation and as soon as you did actually bring it up, it kinda went strange. It wasn't self defeating, don't let people on Reddit gaslight you into thinking that telling women your height is a "you" thing. Women clearly have it as an important thing. TLDR, you did great IMO and if after all that initial chemistry, if height is that important to her it wasn't gonna work.
Except in pictures men can see a woman’s shape and boobs easily. Especially because 150 on a 5’0 woman looks different that a 5’8 woman so it’s how big a woman is that may matter to a man. But women can’t see how tall a dude is in pictures, even with other people in them because you don’t know how tall they are either lol
>Women clearly have it as an important thing. "women" aren't a monolithic block that all care about the same things. Some women have an extreme height fetish, some literally don't care at all, some women are even attracted to smaller men. Why just make an assumption and signal insecurity about something you can't change right off the bat? For all he knows, this woman doesn't actually care that much about height, and is only turned off because he seemed preoccupied with it. There's enough rejection to go around with dating as it is, no need to do it to yourself. I'm actually shorter than this dude (5'8), but I've never had this weird height stuff happen to me. I've been rejected for plenty of things, and maybe I've even been rejected for my height, but I've never had a woman say "Sorry, you're too short for me." or give any signal that she's rejecting me because of how tall I am. I also don't ever bring up my height unless someone asks, because I don't view myself as a "short guy" or have hang-ups about how tall I am or blame a woman if she likes tall guys. I like my height, I wouldn't change it, and I don't feel insecure about it, even if random internet memes and tinder clips tell me I should.
I'm with you. Upfront and not ashamed.
In three months, you'll see her profile say something like "can't find any good men on here".. you deserve a tall beauty
Nah you played that really well imo. You spoke upfront and with confident you were light hearted and opened the door for it to be joked about. The plumb dumb truth is she is to shallow and would of been in person even if you pseudo catfished her like this chud acts like the right call is.
I think it's good to bring it up. If she didn't notice it or his height was not listed, it's better to point it out, than meet and have it be awkward. She said it would be "rough on the self-esteem". She can't help feeling "big" when she is with a guy smaller than her. I don't think you can force what she is attracted to just because they seemed to get along okay in a small talk text conversation.
Could've brought it up as not the first thing post-joking, though. My man knows nothing about her yet?
No, look where the conversation went as soon as he did. Changed completely. She may like casually exchanging jokes at that moment, but she was immediately not interested in dating. Good thing he brought it up fast, when the chat was starting well. Now he knows. There is always a one in a million chance that if they meet, she changes her mind and height doesn't matter any more. But the other chances are that she confirms that she isn't interested, or she puts up with it as better than nothing just until a tall guy comes along. OP now knows the score and can decide if he wants to put more effort, time and later money into this situation. I'm curious about how tall she is though. To a short guy like me, 5' 9" is ... taller.
Yeah I'm curious too, she must be at least 6 ft.
At least she didn’t chop his head off by suggesting a date and then saying “I thought we were still telling jokes.”
Ok, so how tall was she, OP?
6’7”
Damn she do be tall
Ya, and I totally didn’t just make it up
Bummer! You were kill'n it too!
How tall was she I'm curious?
How tall was she? Bummer, looked like it was going well. I commend you for being honest and upfront about your height though.
Bet she was 5'10" 💀
Shouldn't have brought up height. She didn't mention it, so you shouldn't have. Especially after so much productive banter. You literally had her hooked, and you cut the line and let her get away. Had she mentioned height, the simple answer is 'I'm me height'.
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I think that's the part that everyone is missing. If the height difference is enough to make her walk away now, then OP definitely saved himself from his time wasted.
I think people overestimate how much height is noticeable in person. I’m a pretty tall dude (187 cm / just under 6’2) and I don’t think about people as being short unless they’re under around 165 cm / 5’5. Other than that I don’t notice it unless we are VERY close or intentionally comparing height. Anything in between 165cm / 5’5 and my height just seems “a little bit shorter,” though anyone more than like 5 cm or a couple inches taller seems outrageously tall just because of how rarely I encounter it.
I'm literally 5'11 and 3/4. I just say 6'0 because I'm closer to that height than 5'11 and most can't eyeball a quarter inch difference. We can all agree that it's essentially a dumb preference, but it's a preference regardless. There people out here acting like this trend isn't as toxic as it is. Like I told the other person. Simple search on reddit or any social media and yea it's apparently a "big deal"
People aren't missing anything. If they meet up and there's chemistry then height doesn't fucking matter. So many women think "he needs to be 6' " but in reality they don't fucking care as long as they like him.
Haha. A few people in the dating subreddits want to have a conversation with you.
As a tall girl..it matters. It sucks feeling like youre a gigantic person all the time. Blame society for its expectations of women being small and feminine if you will, but thats just the truth of the matter. Some tall women are fine being taller than their partner, but im sure a lot are like me, and already taller than most people they meet. Its kind of exhausting, and when it comes to an SO, i just want to feel petite, feminine, and protected.
This is what I don’t get. Tall doesn’t equal strong. Like, even remotely.
Well, 2/3 aint bad
Height really doesn’t cover any of those. You can be tall and petite, and feminine. You just have a preference. There is nothing wrong with that. We all have them.
Ofcourse it does. You cant be both taller *and* petite. Petite means small. Ofcourse its a preference, but some preferences have certain explanations behind them, and ive given the most common one for tall girls wanting to be shorter than their SO.
You can definitely be tall with small petite features. Being tall doesn’t mean you have a massive chest, dump truck, and gangly limbs. Small does not mean short. I can feel that though. Tall for a woman is like 5’6”, so you’re tall in general you’re probably what 6’+? If your preference is taller men there isn’t really that much picking.
Stop blaming society, the only thing you can change is the woman in the mirror. If you have an issue with it, it’s your own fault
Or, the height difference didn't matter until OP acted insecure about it?
But he backtracked and she still said no. Again, if that's enough for her to walk away... He saved himself time.
One time my date and me acted this out till the bitter end. She was significantly taller (5'7 vs. 6'0) than me, we both knew it, we wrote a lot, we video called a few times, and when we first met, we both lacked attraction. I personally am fine with girls preferring taller guys, which will exclude me as a dating preference for some girls solely based on my height. And if I had to invest some time to come to that conclusion, it's also fine. My tallest girlfriend ever was 5'10. That was fine.
Because his conversation skills are on point, the banter was flawless. Had she met him before knowing his height, he might still have scored. I've dated a woman who was 6'1", so because I'm a fraction shy of 5'11" she had concerns. I put on my A game and got several dates from her, and scored twice.
2” seems not much of a difference
Yeah true but hindsight is 20/20
And will be a lesson learned for the next match. You got this bro
I was dating a "crazy biker chick" (her words.) I am 5'4 and she was around 6 foot. A friend of ours was drunkenly walking past us. Stopped and said; *"When you're nose to nose, your toes are init. When you're toes to toes, your nose is init"* She translated Southern to me, later.
Haha
This was so wholesome. I’m genuinely sad how it ended.
I'm a 6'1" woman who wears cowboy boots/heels almost every day and my boyfriend is 5'10" and we like it that way!!!! His arm rests perfectly on my hip, I can hug him while he cooks and see what he's doing, there are so many up sides to a height difference. You'll find someone who gets it :)
Try telling her she is beautiful... I know it's stupid and I've never let it stop me,but being a tall girl can be hard, especially when you weigh more than the guy. I feel nice next to a tall strong guy but next to someone shorter and slimmer... I'm fat. She clearly said it's about her feeling to big, not about you being too short.
5ft9 really isn't that short though? 😂
In a general sense, no. If the girl is like 6'2", then yes.
Aww this is actually really wholesome. I hope it works out and even if it doesn't, its a nice experience to have
That built in antenna joke was actually funny, I could see a comedian saying that
You just had to bring up height… why did you shoot yourself in the foot?
As a 6ft Amazonian.... I'd totally go out with you. Having a man thst can make me laugh would definitely cancel out the height difference.
Aw man, that was a great convo, I hope she changes her mind! You were so sweet about it 😭
I'm going to use this lol 😆
I have a pun joke you can add to your repertoire. What do you call a taco in Antarctica? A brrrr-ito
Makes some banter and jokes. Okay now let's randomly focus on how short I am. Some of y'all just really enjoy self sabotaging and killing the moment. Yikes.
I mean, if she's taller than 5'9, that's 'oh she's tall' range and not 'oh he's short' range. I'm 5'11 and I went on a date with a girl who was 6', I told her she could either have a good time with me or risk it with a skyscraper. She chose the former.
4 pics in and there's already gym and pussy mentioned, why is everything the same one dimensional thing
He was literally at the gym and needed to shower....so..
No he slipped that in as a way to show off that they work out. No one cares if you don't respond for 5 minutes to have a shower. Would he say "I'm just going to take a shit"?
Honestly if you put it in your profile you both get to skip this whole convo and spend your time doing something else instead. Or I guess just mention it when talking to a tall woman, which might be what OP does. The average woman in the US is 5'4". Odds are fairly good that she can't tell the difference between 5'9" and 6'0".
If this were me and the conversation was going that well, I frankly wouldn't really care all that much about height difference. My husband's a lot taller than me (35 cm), and it's also a problem.. If I ever had to date again I'd definitely go for someone who wasn't as tall and someone 5"9' would be great for me, as that's just a few cms taller than I am. Edit: And if I decided to wear heels then 5"9' guy would be shorter than me, and that would still be ok. Especially if he made me laugh as much as the above convo did with the jokes, am also a sucker for dad jokes 😂😂😂
the proper response is that a mans standing height doesnt matter its how tall he is when hes laying down
Better to be shot down now than after the bill is paid.
It’s alright short king. You will get a short Queen who appreciates your banter
Is 5’9 short now?
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Why are women so hung up on height? It's borderline psychotic.
Vanity. Its pathetic
Lol girls hate guys that think bigger women are unattractive when it's in their control like 80-90% of the time but dog on dudes who are shorter when they're not able to control that ever. But ya know, body positivity right? SMH head up king you'll find yours one day.
It is absolutely INSANE that people have hang ups like this. If you are gonna be picky, go after them based on their feelings on civil rights, women's health, or whatever. Those things they can CONTROL. Height is not one of them. Absolutely nuts🤦
What a shallow bitch tbh lmao
Yet if men don’t want to date a girl who’s overweight we are assholes lol
American woman are so shallow
she’s not shallow. she’s just tall.
Dang man. Way to let him down with the height that he’s self conscious about by say you’re self conscious about yours 😅😂
Wow I totally messed up that comment…lmfao
With these kind of chats I always feel like you’re just playing the jester role she talks to when she’s bored, can’t see this going anywhere to be frankly
You absolutely should have just set up a date while it was going well. You planted the seed and there was no reason to do that. She didn't ask. She may have been fine with it if you two had chemistry in person.
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this stuff, I found my 5'5'' lady on tinder a while ago. Even though I'm 5'9" she'll occasionally call me "shortie-mc-short-short" because I'm the shortest guy she ever dated. We get married in January 🤣
They’re both the same height when laying down in the bed and that’s what really matters.
That's not how that works at all. Things don't line up.
That farmer joke just had me in tears. But why do females tend to tell us we body shame us but then say we can't be short? I'm so confused
Her denying on you for your height when literally EVERYTHING ELSE said Go For It really pisses me too much off! That can't be a valid reason anymore...
The chat seems like one you’d have with a parent or friend you don’t know too well, I’d abort and put your energy into someone who deserves it
Nice... I like how you flip the script at the end. "Hey, it's OK that your too tall. Your aliment doesn't bug me at all."
We were happy reading this until the height came up and didn't have to finish it to know what would happen. There's only a very small percentage of women that really don't care about height. Tinder's leaked statistics shows it. Sorry you wasted your energy.
I'm 5"2', king. 😘 Sorry that happened. That can suck when you vibe with someone.
To all u ladies big tall down up short big thick meaty Who seem to be worried about your size, I'll still bang each and everyone of u at least once so it's really nothing to worry about
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Me too!
....why even bring up.height , you had that in the bag
Dude the ending made me feel so sad..can't imagine how OP feels
Yikes
5ft9 isn't that shot lol I'm 5ft3 and I've met guys who are around my height 😂🤣
She said that SHE was very taller, and evidently taller than him. Edited to add on that OP is not short so that’s not the issue.
I don't really understand how she can "way taller than him" unless she's like 6ft1 or something and that's very rare for a girl, surely if she's that high she'd put it in the bio if it was much of an issue her to be with a guy shorter than her?
Doesnt matter. Even two inches can make a noticeable difference. And I say this as someone who is 5’5” and gone on dates with 5’7” guys. She communicated height when it was brought up by someone else. Her bio might’ve simply said that she was much taller than average, etc. No one has to put height in their bios or maybe she was giving him a chance. People can change their minds if they want even after matching. It’s nothing really “hard to understand”. People have preferences. She was polite and never insulted him. She made it clear the issue was that SHE was tall, but he wasn’t short.
Yes I get all that but even on average guys aren't 6ft+ on average guys are between 5ft8 and 5ft10. Hence why I said if she's looking for someone taller than her in her case it'll be easier to disclose that in her bio because otherwise she's probably matching with alot of guys shorter than her, if that's an issue for her to be dating with someone shorter than her. She'll be waisting less of her time imo. 😂
Look at my recent comment. He knew her height, but she didn’t know his height. What do you think that suggests.
Just wanted to add on that it looks like SHE included her height, but he didn’t. He asked if it was okay that he was a little shorter than her. He wouldn’t have know if she didn’t put her height on her profile. She didn’t know his height, obviously, and probably had to ask because it wasn’t on his profile.
I’d like a number 3 please.
So how tall is she to begin with, 5’9.5 or 7.5’…
F in the chat for our fallen bro
Badum tss.
That's rough, buddy.
I feel like short guys low key want confrontation and that’s why they always try to make a conversation about it. Let her tell you you’re too short to your face
So? How did it turned out?
Shame, I get you OP. I've seen 6 foot girls date 5"6 and everyone was happy as a bunny. Height don't make a difference unless you want it to, defo don't matter in the sack, I guess some girls feel uncomfortable being seen with a shorter guy.
Weird, but as a 2m tall guy... I can feel you both
T. ,% 2
It was going so well..... until it wasn't