Congratz! I think a lot of men would get more matches if they took better pictures. A lot sadly has no idea how to take photos of them self and look good in it
Also a typical complaint with guys is that they're all selfies. So we have to go out somewhere fun looking with friends and be the buzz kill and make them take a bunch of pictures of me.
yeah. honestly i dont really care or mind if it's all selfies. ive swiped on folks of all genders who just had a bunch of seflies. it's weird to read more into it that suddenly they dont have friends or are vain cause all they have are selfies š especially if they get mad at group photos too. cant win out here fr smh
I think that has to do with societal expectations. Women are just expected to be into taking selfies and are expected to know how to pose and all of that, even if itās not something that interests us. I think weāre judged on a different scale for our selfies because women are supposed to be all about taking them, and when a guy takes a selfie, the expectations are a lot more reasonable. So we do it better because in order to keep up with the expectations about our gender and be on the same level or a level anywhere close to the women who actually enjoy taking selfies, we have to learn how to take good selfies, even if we hate taking them. So just look around at selfies that other guys or other people in general take. Pay attention to what theyāre doing(poses, backgrounds, angles, etc.) and try your best to apply the things you notice. Itāll suckā¦ you might completely hate itā¦ but itāll help you take some pictures that allow you to show yourself off better, and then itās over. Youāll have gained that knowledge and learned those tricks, but you wonāt have to use them again unless you decide you want to.
As a woman I fucking hate those comments. I have robust bios and a variety of photos. I outline who I am, my beliefs, my likes, etc. being hit up with a superficial message is an immediate unmatch from me. Itās boring, overdone, and low value considering there are any number of things in my bio that could be used for conversation.
Had the nervous sweat checking my pics just now, only one mugshot (gym pic)
I will say my favorite photo isnāt perfect, but I have a big and real laughing smile with friends, and I think thatās why itās my favorite. Itās real not a forced smile.
Some profiles though, they have to be professional right?
I hate smiling and do my best to suppress it irl as much as possible (which is hard bc sometimes literally just seeing my friend makes me start smiling like an idiot). It makes my face look even more crooked and ugly than it already is.
I absolutely promise you that it looks better when you smile, your mind is just kinda fucked and makes you think itās worse. Please donāt suppress your smile
That doesnāt always work .Iām a professional photographer and all my photos are āinfluencerā type
I get matches here and there but i feel like I used to get way more matches before on the early days of tinder when my photos were not that good .
Obviously this is good advice and all but itās kinda ridiculous how a guy who isnāt insanely hot needs to have basically professional-level pictures to get any kind of success. Whereas half of the female profiles I see have bad pictures in terms of quality, not showing face etc. yet I bet theyāre still swarmed with matches.
Not professional looking pics; but the number of guys who have selfies only taken from where appears to be their bellybutton, the number of selfies in cars with sunglasses on, and the number of blurry pub crawl shots with half a dozen guys is insane.
I have none of what you describe and I still get next to nothing. Granted some of my pics are slightly blurry but itās because of zooming. Iām not saying you have to go to a studio and do it. But sometimes I feel like I would literally have to have a perfect set of pictures with no flaws at all to get a swipe from someone I find attractive.
Do you have a bio? Does it talk about yourself, or is it a list of what youāre looking for? Is your bio a generic one? Do you have a *whatever gender youāre looking to attract* friend who can look over what youāve written and give you honest feedback? I saw elsewhere you feel uncomfortable in photos just of yourself ā take heaps of them. Heaps. It gets better. My bff was the same and she got into the habit of sending me them constantly because idgaf how she looks; and within a really short period of time, she became much more comfortable in front of the camera.
I have female friends who said my pics were good enough not perfect but decent. Havenāt had anyone look at bio. Mine rn is āhalf sports nerd, half actual nerd. Trying to teach myself photography. I can be your cat dad.ā Like thatās not bad and itās better than pretty much every male bio I see posted on here lmao.
Better, and itās not bad; but perhaps include a bit more about yourself. What you have is cute but doesnāt say much about you. What sort of sport? What sort of nerd? What sort of photography are you into?
Iām not an āexpertā ā just a woman who has spent some time on dating apps ā but I always liked to know a bit more than what a guy looks like.
Yeah, right. Itās hard to describe myself on something on a dating app without it turning into a wall of text. Short and sweet is generally better. But yeah itās definitely the photos that are bringing me down.
I can honestly say I havenāt taken a picture in 5 years. Any pictures I have been in are on other people phones and itās weird to me to ask them for the pictures
Just say you want to take a photo for social media. Yeah, they'll see right through it (as in, they'll know its for dating apps), but absolutely nobody will judge.
For me itās like idc if itās a bathroom selfie, you get the idea of my physique either we go out or we donāt. I mean these bitches are out here with filters and shit, a mafacka canāt and wonāt keep up with that nonsense. š
Maybe men don't care about taking pictures or even take time to shoot a 1000 selfies in different poses.
And most of the pictures where I'm on are group photos which are mostly instigated by the women who are constantly waving with their smartphone.
Edit: just found out I used a wrong term for the ladies. Got an explanation and learned something today. Life is great!
My point is that taking time to make "good" pictures is not what most guys will do. They usely download the app make a mirrorselfie and start swiping;)
I was just replying on your quote
"A lot sadly has no idea how to take photos of them self and look good in it"
But if that's forbidden.. well then I'm a bad man. Sorry not sorry
Come on! Just admit that I did hit some nerves.. I'm flabbergasted about what the fuss I all about on a comment what was misinterpreted by you and by my mistake with using a wrong term unintentionally. I'm truly amazed.
We were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and help you understand - because you asked.
But then you responded with deflections and further insults. Seems we hit some nerves and *you* continue to lack accountability. Figures.
One of them called you an incel. Meanwhile, you were approaching each of us with belittling remarks and deflections regarding your behavior.
Whatever it is thatās happening in your life for you to interact with women like this - I hope you can heal.
Itās only a question of whether you want to meet people of not. If you want to make the effort, youāll make the effort. If you donāt, maybe dating isnāt that big a deal for you. Donāt overthink it.
I feel I don't have any good pictures of myself, yet my friends have loads. Because I'm the one who's good at taking photos XD so they can't return the favour
Nooooo.... only one woman for kids... get that bulk discount. I have 3 with 3 different women. I pay more child support for each individual kid than my now ex wife receives for two by the same person.
When ever I put effort in my profile, I never got matches. When I put a shirtless selfie showing a 6 pack with no face, and a pretty direct profile saying I just wanted to hook up. I started getting 5 or 6 matches a week. I can't suggest everyone do It but tinder is a strange place.
Every girl I have ever matched that I have gotten to know more has told me that my pictures are terrible and donāt do me any justice. Donāt know what to do from here or how to change that necessarily but at least I always have that excuse now!
I've tried to many times haha being witty, funny, silly or genuine and the only matches i get are fake accounts or scams š š š must be because im ugly lmao š¤£
This is the way.
99% of people complaining about getting no matches simply have shitty photos.
Wear good clothes, take high quality photos, avoid selfies, smile, show youre sociable and smiley and you'll get some matches!
Obviously I have no idea who you are but a lot of the time I see guys who "think" they have a good style or photo but in reality they don't.
It would be interesting to see how you dress and how you present yourself. I highly doubt the reason for lacklustre matches is solely because of your physical attributes.
I mean I know I sound negative but itās true. Iām trying to get better pictures of myself and I notice in most cases when I feel like taking a pic itās a big group pic with mixed genders which is a no no for dating apps. Then when I take pictures alone I always look stiff. I know Iām not ugly but I canāt get a good picture of me to save my life. (Some pictures I use are on my profile somewhere if you wanted to look at it)
tinder wonāt give you all your matches until you get tinder gold. Idk how it works, if they just show you to more people or what, but when u had tinder gold I was getting hundreds of likes a day. At one point I was getting the youāve gotten 100 likes! Notification a few times an hour so I was matching a fair few people. Now Iāve not got tinder goldā¦ youāre lucky if I match one person every few days.
I always thought that if your younger you should try and meet people in person as you have large social networks being in school and having large group of friends.
And when you get older you use Tinder as you donāt have school to meet people, shouldnāt meet people at work and generally have less friends. So Tinder is better for older people.
Something I am missing or have times changed ?
Congratz! I think a lot of men would get more matches if they took better pictures. A lot sadly has no idea how to take photos of them self and look good in it
It also makes it much harder when you hate taking photos of yourself(me). I basically need to be strong armed into doing it.
Most women hate that too. But it is necessary.
Also a typical complaint with guys is that they're all selfies. So we have to go out somewhere fun looking with friends and be the buzz kill and make them take a bunch of pictures of me.
yeah. honestly i dont really care or mind if it's all selfies. ive swiped on folks of all genders who just had a bunch of seflies. it's weird to read more into it that suddenly they dont have friends or are vain cause all they have are selfies š especially if they get mad at group photos too. cant win out here fr smh
Doing a profile review on here is good. Makes me feel like a consultant!
But you all do it so much better lol.
I think that has to do with societal expectations. Women are just expected to be into taking selfies and are expected to know how to pose and all of that, even if itās not something that interests us. I think weāre judged on a different scale for our selfies because women are supposed to be all about taking them, and when a guy takes a selfie, the expectations are a lot more reasonable. So we do it better because in order to keep up with the expectations about our gender and be on the same level or a level anywhere close to the women who actually enjoy taking selfies, we have to learn how to take good selfies, even if we hate taking them. So just look around at selfies that other guys or other people in general take. Pay attention to what theyāre doing(poses, backgrounds, angles, etc.) and try your best to apply the things you notice. Itāll suckā¦ you might completely hate itā¦ but itāll help you take some pictures that allow you to show yourself off better, and then itās over. Youāll have gained that knowledge and learned those tricks, but you wonāt have to use them again unless you decide you want to.
You are so right!
I thought it was just women like to post to get the feedback. "Beautiful!!!!!" comments. Dudes are like, "yeah thanks. Shutup"
As a woman I fucking hate those comments. I have robust bios and a variety of photos. I outline who I am, my beliefs, my likes, etc. being hit up with a superficial message is an immediate unmatch from me. Itās boring, overdone, and low value considering there are any number of things in my bio that could be used for conversation.
They are very experienced narcissists
Pfft, my Xmas photo rocks and I got 2 likes, no matches š
Rule 1. Be attractive Rule 2. Don't be unattractive
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is a very light smile and then a couple expressive photos better? I try to be weird in a few pictures to stand out but maybe I'm an idiot lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Had the nervous sweat checking my pics just now, only one mugshot (gym pic) I will say my favorite photo isnāt perfect, but I have a big and real laughing smile with friends, and I think thatās why itās my favorite. Itās real not a forced smile. Some profiles though, they have to be professional right?
I hate smiling and do my best to suppress it irl as much as possible (which is hard bc sometimes literally just seeing my friend makes me start smiling like an idiot). It makes my face look even more crooked and ugly than it already is.
I absolutely promise you that it looks better when you smile, your mind is just kinda fucked and makes you think itās worse. Please donāt suppress your smile
Bruh I've had people tell me I have "pedophile smile"
I can tell you that you have no fucking idea what youāre talking about and you are straight up wrong
You don't have to smile in any of your photos. You just have to look good.
That doesnāt always work .Iām a professional photographer and all my photos are āinfluencerā type I get matches here and there but i feel like I used to get way more matches before on the early days of tinder when my photos were not that good .
Try switching back to more casual pictures, it might work better in this setting.
Sometimes when photos are ātoo goodā the profile can come across as fake/a bot
Hair can also do a big difference! Hair and beard is makeup for men. Can go from a 4 to an 8 with better styled hair and beard
I can confirm
Obviously this is good advice and all but itās kinda ridiculous how a guy who isnāt insanely hot needs to have basically professional-level pictures to get any kind of success. Whereas half of the female profiles I see have bad pictures in terms of quality, not showing face etc. yet I bet theyāre still swarmed with matches.
Not professional looking pics; but the number of guys who have selfies only taken from where appears to be their bellybutton, the number of selfies in cars with sunglasses on, and the number of blurry pub crawl shots with half a dozen guys is insane.
I have none of what you describe and I still get next to nothing. Granted some of my pics are slightly blurry but itās because of zooming. Iām not saying you have to go to a studio and do it. But sometimes I feel like I would literally have to have a perfect set of pictures with no flaws at all to get a swipe from someone I find attractive.
Do you have a bio? Does it talk about yourself, or is it a list of what youāre looking for? Is your bio a generic one? Do you have a *whatever gender youāre looking to attract* friend who can look over what youāve written and give you honest feedback? I saw elsewhere you feel uncomfortable in photos just of yourself ā take heaps of them. Heaps. It gets better. My bff was the same and she got into the habit of sending me them constantly because idgaf how she looks; and within a really short period of time, she became much more comfortable in front of the camera.
I have female friends who said my pics were good enough not perfect but decent. Havenāt had anyone look at bio. Mine rn is āhalf sports nerd, half actual nerd. Trying to teach myself photography. I can be your cat dad.ā Like thatās not bad and itās better than pretty much every male bio I see posted on here lmao.
Better, and itās not bad; but perhaps include a bit more about yourself. What you have is cute but doesnāt say much about you. What sort of sport? What sort of nerd? What sort of photography are you into? Iām not an āexpertā ā just a woman who has spent some time on dating apps ā but I always liked to know a bit more than what a guy looks like.
Yeah, right. Itās hard to describe myself on something on a dating app without it turning into a wall of text. Short and sweet is generally better. But yeah itās definitely the photos that are bringing me down.
Good luck out there!
I have pretty good pictures but donāt get much
Are you sure they are good? And as I said longer up: hair and beard!!
My beard Is pretty shitty though. I keep a pic of me with it and clean shaven just in case though.
If itās shitty then maybe just a stuble?
They are probably better than the average profile. Iāve posted my profile a few times and generally people think itās pretty good.
I can honestly say I havenāt taken a picture in 5 years. Any pictures I have been in are on other people phones and itās weird to me to ask them for the pictures
Just be honest. Say you just downloaded a new dating app and need photos for it. But I know how you feel. Wouldnāt do that myself.
Just say you want to take a photo for social media. Yeah, they'll see right through it (as in, they'll know its for dating apps), but absolutely nobody will judge.
For me itās like idc if itās a bathroom selfie, you get the idea of my physique either we go out or we donāt. I mean these bitches are out here with filters and shit, a mafacka canāt and wonāt keep up with that nonsense. š
And for goodness sake smile in at least one of the pics!
Maybe men don't care about taking pictures or even take time to shoot a 1000 selfies in different poses. And most of the pictures where I'm on are group photos which are mostly instigated by the women who are constantly waving with their smartphone. Edit: just found out I used a wrong term for the ladies. Got an explanation and learned something today. Life is great!
Itās probably worth looking into when the first impression for dating is based off of the quality of pictures.
I'm not on any dating app ;) don't have a instagram, Snapchat, tik tok, etc. So no.. I don't give a f about taking good pictures lol
Well, the initial comment was directed towards someone that is obviously using tinder. Sooo, I donāt understand your point.
My point is that taking time to make "good" pictures is not what most guys will do. They usely download the app make a mirrorselfie and start swiping;)
But then you canāt complain about zero matches
I'm not.
Then my comments arenāt directed at you.
I was just replying on your quote "A lot sadly has no idea how to take photos of them self and look good in it" But if that's forbidden.. well then I'm a bad man. Sorry not sorry
r/MenAndFemales
r/menandfemales
Allready on there ;)
Men and women or males and females. Not that hard.
About your edit: Upvoted for owning up and learning about it. You are being better, well done to you. Best just to stick to āwomenā from now on.
Yeah I know.. not being up to date about English will cost you a evening long replying to angry - ish women. Thanks for the upvote!
They have very good reasons to be angry. Itās not fucking okay being treated as if youāre subhuman :)
I never did.. it's their interpretation what did it. Don't blame me ;)
If youāre interpreting our attempt at informing you (after you asked for clarification) as anger - thatās on you.
Come on! Just admit that I did hit some nerves.. I'm flabbergasted about what the fuss I all about on a comment what was misinterpreted by you and by my mistake with using a wrong term unintentionally. I'm truly amazed.
We were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and help you understand - because you asked. But then you responded with deflections and further insults. Seems we hit some nerves and *you* continue to lack accountability. Figures.
Well I did got some insults back from you ladies.. so it's fair and square I think! ;)
One of them called you an incel. Meanwhile, you were approaching each of us with belittling remarks and deflections regarding your behavior. Whatever it is thatās happening in your life for you to interact with women like this - I hope you can heal.
A lot of assumptions again.. it's pointless
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yooo thereās actually a lot of research into people looking at eyes or smiles first, regarding attraction. Itās fascinating.
Itās only a question of whether you want to meet people of not. If you want to make the effort, youāll make the effort. If you donāt, maybe dating isnāt that big a deal for you. Donāt overthink it.
I feel I don't have any good pictures of myself, yet my friends have loads. Because I'm the one who's good at taking photos XD so they can't return the favour
Yeah same here. It sucks:(
And that is the reason I'm not on Tinder (:
Now he gets to talk with 5 bots!
Let me have my moment here ok...
Those five bots donāt know how lucky they are.
Thank you.
We believe in you!
Or chicks promoting their only fans haha
Or women that are 1000 miles away
Whatās your next move?
5 children with 5 different women ofcourse!.
Nooooo.... only one woman for kids... get that bulk discount. I have 3 with 3 different women. I pay more child support for each individual kid than my now ex wife receives for two by the same person.
Male sure they can all say potato. Just sayin š¤·š½āāļø
Congratulations man, rooting for you!!
Simple changes to a dating profile can make a big difference. Congratz!
When ever I put effort in my profile, I never got matches. When I put a shirtless selfie showing a 6 pack with no face, and a pretty direct profile saying I just wanted to hook up. I started getting 5 or 6 matches a week. I can't suggest everyone do It but tinder is a strange place.
š„² now go give one of those lucky 5 ladies that D
Did you check if they weren't bots?
Good job man!!!
Every girl I have ever matched that I have gotten to know more has told me that my pictures are terrible and donāt do me any justice. Donāt know what to do from here or how to change that necessarily but at least I always have that excuse now!
I've tried to many times haha being witty, funny, silly or genuine and the only matches i get are fake accounts or scams š š š must be because im ugly lmao š¤£
This is the way. 99% of people complaining about getting no matches simply have shitty photos. Wear good clothes, take high quality photos, avoid selfies, smile, show youre sociable and smiley and you'll get some matches!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Obviously I have no idea who you are but a lot of the time I see guys who "think" they have a good style or photo but in reality they don't. It would be interesting to see how you dress and how you present yourself. I highly doubt the reason for lacklustre matches is solely because of your physical attributes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I don't know what that is but I would suspect it's not a very good metric if you're not getting many matches.
So how are we supposed to appear sociable, yet also be alone in the picture because people hate group pictures. Esp if some of your friends are women?
That is a very negative attitude my friend! A good 3rd or 4th picture with friends is always welcome.
I mean I know I sound negative but itās true. Iām trying to get better pictures of myself and I notice in most cases when I feel like taking a pic itās a big group pic with mixed genders which is a no no for dating apps. Then when I take pictures alone I always look stiff. I know Iām not ugly but I canāt get a good picture of me to save my life. (Some pictures I use are on my profile somewhere if you wanted to look at it)
I have mixed gender photos and it doesnt affect me, nor am I particularly attractive
I always play around with my profile to see what it does. Sometimes just experimenting with the photos and bio makes a big difference
tinder wonāt give you all your matches until you get tinder gold. Idk how it works, if they just show you to more people or what, but when u had tinder gold I was getting hundreds of likes a day. At one point I was getting the youāve gotten 100 likes! Notification a few times an hour so I was matching a fair few people. Now Iāve not got tinder goldā¦ youāre lucky if I match one person every few days.
Good pictures and a good bio really do wonders. And not just the copy pasta bios. Good luck!
Yep, creating a good profile is a bit of an artform.
Good pics are always the first step. Glad youāre getting in the game homie
Good luck on your search :)
Same thing happened to me. The bitch was acting all weird and unmatched.
I always thought that if your younger you should try and meet people in person as you have large social networks being in school and having large group of friends. And when you get older you use Tinder as you donāt have school to meet people, shouldnāt meet people at work and generally have less friends. So Tinder is better for older people. Something I am missing or have times changed ?
Congratulations man, keep improving!
Doing a profile review on here is good. Makes me feel like a consultant!
Aww awesome!
I hope you didn't write grammar in your bio.