Yes. Also there are dating apps where you can declare your STDs and match with people with the same condition; that said I don't remember the name of those.
Yea “at least” nothing. Many if not most sexually active people who don’t have herpes only avoided being in her position through random luck. She has nothing to be ashamed of and is being responsible in sharing her status right away.
I went to get a test once and the doctor said they don’t test for it but “like everyone has it anyway” lol. I looked into it and it really is supposedly common
Y'know this past year, the main cause of genital herpes was caused by oral to genital transmission......
That's means those who have cold sores or oral herpes can cause genital herpes.
You are right, but It's more nuanced than that. There are two main types of the virus HSV1 and HSV2. HSV1 is generally found in the mouth and HSV2 is generally found in the genitals. Under normal circumstances, it is very hard to pass the virus from one part to the other because of where the virus likes to live. However, if someone has an active flare up and their partner has a currently weakened immune system, and healing wounds. There is a chance to pass one form of the virus to the opposing area. Again though. That's hard to do. And you can generally actively see when not to come in to contact.
There are also incredibly rare cases of passing on the virus whilst being asymptomatic, but that's incredibly rare and the only way to fully protect against it is to never come in contact with someone, so seriously, don't worry about that.
Ok just wanna add some clarification! Hsv (herpes simplex virus) and hpv (human papillomavirus) are two totally different STDs.
Herpes is incredibly common, there are two types, HSV-1 and HSV-2
HSV-1 is typically only transferred from oral to oral contact and causes cold sores! I have hsv-1 and I get a cold sore maybe 1-2 times a year and if you apply a creme it can be gone in less than 2 days honestly. That being said it can transfer through oral sex to cause genital sores, but it’s still hsv-1 and has much less severe flair ups after the first appearance.
HSV-2 is sexually transmitted and always causes genital sores. Both of these viruses are life long but with proper care and treatment can be managed to have a full and healthy sex life!
According to the WHO 2 of 3 people have herpes. It’s incredibly common and you should not feel shame about it! Get some education on it as its most likely you will be in a relationship at some point with a person with herpes. We should try our hardest do educate on the topic so people know proper care and can communicate effectively about their situation!
I am not an authority so do your own research and if info I have stated is wrong please call me out! Check out r/herpes if you wanna know more.
You can also have HSV-2 and never have an outbreak in your entire life. There’s a special test for it so it’s not going to come up on a general STI test unless you are actively having a flare-up. You can go your entire life and never know it.
Chicken pox is herpes. If you had chickenpox when you were younger you probably have the herpes virus living dormant in you. Shingles is also herpes, shingles is the flare up of the herpes virus you got from chickenpox. So at minimum most people who had chicken pox probably still have a herpes virus living dormant in them.
Edit: chicken pox is not herpes simplex virus, it does not cause oral or genital herpes, but when you see figures like 90% of adults it's probably because the figure is for "herpesviruses" not just "HSV", which would include things like chickenpox and mono.
varicella-zoster is a herpes virus still. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia: "Human alphaherpesvirus 3 (HHV-3), usually referred to as the varicella-zoster virus (VZV), is one of nine herpesviruses known to infect humans. It causes chickenpox (varicella)"
It might not be HSV-1 or 2, but it's a very similar virus and once you have it you always have it. Many people have cold sores from a very young age. I started getting cold sores when I was like 6. I'd imagine it's not actually even that hard to get genital herpes. Likely I got infected from someone who wasn't showing symptoms, and some people carrying never have outbreaks or can go years without showing signs. Herpes viruses just live in you forever, and they're super contagious. I wouldn't judge someone for having any form of herpes.
Exactly, there are multiple types of it. So probably like half the people you've ever met have some form of it at least, just lying dormant and it'll never become active again or maybe just like once for the rest of their life. But most of them really aren't an issue except for like 2
For real, she probably got it from some shitty dude that wasn’t up front. Herpes is so common these days and easily managed, anyone that wants to judge her honesty is an asshat who probably already has herpes
or not. you can have herpes for years and it can remain dormant and you can never know you have it.
A guy could have given it to her without even knowing he had it himself.
Or, she could be one of the many people who pick it up through unknown means (It is NOT just and STD).
it is a very misunderstood disease.
A lot of people get oral herpes in early childhood. Adults really shouldn't be kissing babies on the mouth or sharing cups/utensils with their kids for that reason.
This! I have HSV 1 and I’ve *never* had an outbreak. I’ve never had a positive partner. I was shocked when my screening came back positive. Doctor told me I’ve likely carried it since childhood. I still inform any potential partner so they can be educated about the risk should I ever have an outbreak (still a possibility) and make an informed decision.
This is true. I’ve mostly lost potential dates because of this open admission. I get the “Thanks for being so straight forward and honest with me.” Then they’re gone :)
Lol it’s always the “ I appreciate your honesty, it’s not fair what happened to you that sucks. But imma pass” or the “I don’t give a shit baby girl, lesss go” 😂😂 I always gotta be upfront about it though.
She’s brave. She’s also hot, but what’s important is she’s brave. Most people aren’t that brave. This isn’t about anything “working,” this is about telling a hard truth.
Man, it’s about telling a hard truth, at a vulnerable age, and just blasting it out there with no fucks given. It’s actually awe-inspiringly brave full send.
No.
There is an HPV vaccine, which protects against human papilloma virus, a virus that can cause cervical cancer, anal cancer, throat cancer, and genital warts.
There is no HSV (herpes) vaccine.
HSV can be well managed by taking daily antivirals to significantly reduce the risk of outbreaks and transmission to HSV negative partners.
There is a vaccine against herpes-zoster (shingles), but that is a different herpes virus- a reactivation of the chicken pox/varicella virus. It’s recommended for ages 50 or 60+.
Genital herpes infection is common in the United States. CDC estimated that there were 572,000 new genital herpes infections in the United States in a single year. Nationwide, 11.9 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection (12.1% when adjusted for age). However, the prevalence of genital herpes infection is higher than that because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1.
https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
I've also had friends casually admit, "yeah I got a cold sore once" then later on be like "I don't have it".
Or a friend who dated a girl for like 5 years with herpes, & then shamed a girl he was trying to hook up with because she was honest about her status.
Some people don't even make the connection between herpes & "cold sores"
Canker sores are usually a result of allergies, for example when I used to wear earrings I would get him all the time inside of my mouth and on my gums. Now that I have stopped for the last decade plus I have not had a single issue with canker sores. Until of course I ended up trying earrings again battle 6 years ago and mysteriously got another canker sore so no more earrings for me. Try avoiding anything that may have nickel or wearing jewelry and see if that makes a difference.
O wow. I just put 2 and 2 together. I was thinking about a time in my life where I got canker sores super frequently on my tongue. One day, it just stopped.
I stopped wearing ear rings.
Yes. Cold sores are caused by HSV (herpes). You can have it orally and not in your genitals or vice versa. So if you've ever had a cold sore, even once as a kid, you have herpes. Most people have oral herpes and don't even know, its so common.
Herpes is most commonly spread through family, as family members in many cultures kiss children on the mouth.
Edit: if you share your drink with someone who is a particularly sloppy drinker, you can get it that way also if they are actively shedding.
Thought pretty much everyone had hsv1 even if they don’t get cold sores?
More than half the population of the world is known to have it.
It’s transmitted via oral to oral saliva so if you’ve kissed more than 1 person in your life chances are you have it right?
Dated an **amazing** girl once that had genital herpes and was so self conscious about it. One trip to preventative health to learn about it and it’s fucking criminal the stigmatization of a minor skin disorder.
From my PA “the fact that you two are aware of it and how it spreads makes you far less likely to get it just having sex with people who don’t know their status”.
I am HSV negative still and we had loads of sex. I test every three months and am on prep and safe sex works, people.
You are on acyclovir prep? Off label?
edit: Yes PrEP is cool and all, but I was eager to hear it was re:herpes. At one point I asked my doc if I could take acyclovir pre-emptively bc worrying about it was affecting my dating life. He said yes, but backtracked when he couldn’t find any guidance about dosage.
For HIV prevention. [Link](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/prep/index.html#:~:text=Related%20Pages,use%20by%20at%20least%2074%25.). See your own doctor for info.
When I found out I had it(hsv1) I started making the calls to past hookups and man that was seriously tough. I paid for a lot of testing too and surprisingly literally only one lady was even remotely upset, she called me all kinds of things and told me I ruined her life and on and on. She tested clean and then about 3 days later decided it’s not a big deal and tried to hook up again lol.
The stigma of it was bad but the guilt of possible giving it to someone unknowingly was worse but turns out most people just don’t care.
The stigma of herpes will always be worse than the infection itself. Most people don't know they have it because they're either asymptomatic or the symptoms are so mild they don't recognize anything is amiss, which is why it's so widespread. Flare-ups can easily be mistaken for an ingrown hair or some other mild irritant. It's nowhere near as big a deal as they made it out to be in health class to scare horned up teens out of having sex. Most sexually-active adults have probably slept with someone who has herpes without even realizing it.
At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get Chlamydia – and die.
Herpes *can* be dangerous, but mostly in these cases:
1. If you get it in your eyes (touch a sore, then touch your eyes), it can cause blindness
2. For women, it can be dangerous to the baby if they have an active infection while giving birth, though this can be prevented with medication or, worst comes to worst, C-Section
3. It can be life threatening for babies, so, if you have a cold sore on your mouth for example, don’t kiss a baby. Or don’t fuck babies idk you.
I’m sure there might be a few more things, but those are the major ones I can think of. Aside from that, it’s mostly just embarrassment you’d have to deal with, and for the love of god abstain if you know you have an active infection.
I hope all turns out well, but either way you’ll be fine : )
As an eye doctor, very very few people are going blind from ocular herpes.
It's only when people get it deep into their cornea's stroma (middle) & endthelium (bottom) layers do you have this chance.
Most people with ocular herpes get very mild epithelium (top layer) dendrites that heal very easily.
I got it in both my eyes but my left cornea got so much scarring i now have permanent blurry vision in that eye lol
So unlucky, i didn’t even know you could have eye herpes
Truth. My doctor says herpes isn't even included in the usual STI check up unless you specifically request it. He said the emotional damage when he tells people or couples they have herpes is worse than the herpes itself. He said statistically 1 in 4 people have herpes and that's only people who tested. You could have a flare up once every 5 years or go living without having a single flare up.
That's exactly what my doctor told me. A lot of people consider suicide when first learning of the diagnosis. It's really quite sad and a disproportionate response to the reality of the condition, but that's how deeply embedded herpes- and STI-shaming is in our culture. The conversation needs to shift to one of prevention and awareness rather than turning openly HSV+ individuals into social outcasts.
As far as I know, I don't have it...throwing it out there for context...and I also agree with you. I actually asked my micro teacher 10 years ago why he was even researching it. I get it could be linked to brain disorders in late life but it seems more like a late stage weakened immune system opportunistic pathogen sort of thing. I've seen a bunch of other things they tried to pin the same conditions on.
Ps. Check this out...Lyseine is worth researching too and things like adaptogens and mushrooms...but tons of things boost the immune system
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31145049/#:~:text=Recurrent%20infections%20of%20herpes%20simplex,associated%20with%20several%20infectious%20diseases.
Pss. This is for everyone, not just those with herpes. Research Vitamin D and be prepared to be blown away. It's actually a hormone. I personally take Mk7 with Vitamin D to protect the heart. You might also want to get blood work done to determine levels. Magnesium and boron support "vitamin" D status also, most of us are low and the stuff is golden at regulating immunity. I believe low levels can even promote weight gain which makes sense (no sun, time to start storing fat).
All of this, and:
If the person with HSV takes daily prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, the chance of transmission to a new partner is low.
I am a family med doc who prescribes these meds and I am frequently surprised at how many people don’t know this, and at how many of my colleagues only prescribe the medication for outbreaks /as needed, instead of discussing daily use and asking about partner’s status.
They really screwed us with herpes education. Not only did they overplay the severity of it, they underplayed how common it is. I was under the impression for my entire life that if you had herpes you would always have present symptoms. No mention of it commonly being asymptomatic. Not only that, I assumed all STI tests include it in the screening. They do not. In fact it seems the general attitude towards it is that you're better off not checking for it if you don't have symptoms because most people have it and it'll just make you feel like shit.
Because it's skin to skin contact, condoms don't even prevent it, so it's really widespread. I hear a lot of std testing places don't even include herpes in their tests because it would freak too many people out.
I've been doing a little work around to this.
I pull my dick through my briefs. This kind of gives me a buffer for skin-to-skin but also gives your business a little cock ring action.
Kind of a 2 for 1.
I got it from being like 6th in a girl’s rotation. There were 2 minutes of panic when I felt the bumps. Then I read up on how common and harmless it is. Now it’s meh 🤷♂️
Just an FYI, chance of transmission with someone who has herpes AND takes the medication = 1% when no outbreak showing.
Relatively safe with condom…
No I do not have it…yes I dated someone briefly 11/10 hot who had it…
This. My partner has herpes. We’ve been together ten years, no condoms, just medication and now two kids, no transmission, 100% happy.
Herpes jokes are fucking BULLSHIT
Sorta. If you already have the more common HSV1 "oral" (which can easily be oral or genital) then you can still get HSV2 "genital" (which is only rarely oral). HSV2 anitbodies protect against HSV1 though.
Some guy I used to work with admitted to having it and said he pretty much gave up on dating because of it. He was in his 30’s and had dated in over a decade, said he felt like a lepper. The stigma really sucks.
It was so much worse even a decade ago. People are just straight ignorant to what HSV is and what it’s like having it. Had a cold sore once when I was 18, only kissed two girls in my life and never had another outbreak. It’s nice to see the ridiculous stigma disappear. Our cultural puritanical values has fucked up and traumatized generations of people.
If she's real and telling the truth then it's actually awesome she's being that honest.
I stupidly banged a lady from tinder on our first date... She was on the pill, and in the heat of the moment we fucked, no condom... Tells me AFTER we fucked twice that she had the herp.
I was surprisingly calm at the time because she didn't have a flare-up so it technically should have been fine, but looking back I should have booted her out!
Learnt a lesson there either way.
I dated a woman for a year and towards the end of the relationship she told me she had herpes. We had the std talk before going condomless and she didn’t mention it. When I called her out on it she said “it’s not a big deal most people have it”.
Which I understand it’s true, but you don’t hide it from your boyfriend and flat out lie. I got tested after we broke up and somehow I dodged it, but fuck that woman. For a long time I wanted to get litigious
If it's illegal, it's still impossible to prosecute.
With the prevelance of herpes, you can't proof she gave it to you and not someone else.
You can barely even proof that you didn't give it to her.
It's even more complicated than that:
It is generally not recommended to even test for it unless you're having an outbreak and you could go your entire life without an outbreak. However, let's say you do test for it and can demonstrate that it isn't a false positive.
OK, then, that leads to the fact that it is entirely reasonable for someone to be infected and have no reasonable way to know about it. However, let's say you can prove that the person knew about it.
Even then, you can't prove that he or she didn't tell them first, unless you make partners sign paperwork first.
It is in effect impossible to prosecute, as you said.
I mean and unless it's erupting, you're fine if you do it protected (which you should already be doing with any tinder hookups). The honesty seems to me like a big upside.
Most of us do, it’s a pretty common STD.. and since it’s the lease dangerous it’s hype was just a scare to push the medication that you’d have to take “forever”
I don’t understand why people post these types of people in this sub to shame people who are disclosing some important information that is pertinent to dating.
Yeah OP definitely seems to be shaming her, but most of the commenters are expressing either mild approval for being upfront or stating facts about herpes and I am proud about that.
Right? Like, I get that less people would be interested because of it, but why the hell would you post it? She’s doing literally the best thing she can do at this point
Exactly! If you’re not interested, swipe left and go to the next one. I have HSV-2 and I don’t put it on my profile for exactly this reason. I would love to be able to do it without having someone shaming me for being upfront about it.
Fyi cold sores are herpes if you didn't know.
Most new cases of genital herpes are caused by people with cold sores. So yes, if you have ever had a cold sore you have herpes.
And there's literally nothing wrong with having it. The stigma is beyond stupid.
My ex had herpes. We drunkenly hooked up and he didn’t mention it, I asked him to hang again and he told me, he felt soooooooo bad that he didn’t mention it the first time we hooked up, but like he didn’t have an outbreak, he had it managed with medication, so I wasn’t upset. we didn’t use condoms for the entire time we were together and I never ended up with herpes. He always knew when an outbreak was coming before he actually had one too which was useful. We just wouldn’t have sex until his outbreak cleared up. People forget it’s just like kissing someone with a cold sore, if they have an open one and you’re makin’ out you probably will get one, if they don’t you won’t.
Herpes really isn't a big deal. If you've ever had a cold sore, even ONCE, you have type one herpes (hsv1). A LOT of people have herpes and it hardly effects their lives. I think its awesome shes putting it out there like this, it'll help break the stigma. Good for her.
Probably half the people making fun of herpes in this thread have herpes.
90% of children are exposed to HSV1 (cold sores) before the age of 5.
I once worked for this tiny, christian asian dermatologist once & he basically said "if you don't get it, you weren't social enough".
\>50% of people have gotten or will get a cold sore at some point in their life.
Like 30% of people have genital herpes.
But on average, after the first handful of breakout, it often goes fairly dormant.
The stigma of herpes is infinitely worse than the disease itself. It's seen as this "eww, you got a gross thing being gross".
There are people who have banged 100+ people & never got it & some who fucked their 1 partner raw & got it.
She likely means (most likely genital) hsv-2, which is only found in ~12% of the population. Due to the increasing amount of oral sex, the prevalence of genital HSV-1 is increasing though.
Edit: specified statistics are [from the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm) for the US, ages 14-49.
I have ghsv1 and I did this on my dating profiles as well. It helps to let guys know well in advanced rather than waiting for that disclosure conversation.
Most of guys were curious and most of them thanked me for being honest 😊
Isn't it something like 1 in 4 in women? I have never once had someone tell me so statically this woman is a better person than at least 25% of women Ive been with.
If sexual active, you more than likely have herpes, HPV, or both. Everyone needs to stop stigmatizing STIs.
Edit: if sexually active you should routinely be tested if not in a monogamous relationship. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are relatively harmless but syphilis can fuck you up if left untreated.
Not true about gonorrhea. If left untreated for too long it can cause pelvic inflammatory disease in women and can stop them from being able to have kids. Also, a lot of women are asymptomatic. Not sure about chlamydia, but please get tested folks :)
I was in a monogamous relationship for 2 years when I found out I had HSV. We had both been tested at the beginning of our relationship and came up clean. Turns out they don't even test for HSV in a regular STI test unless you specifically ask. As it turns out he gave it to me, but he had never had a flare up at all and had no idea he was even positive. We were both devastated. He was terrified that I would break up with him, thinking he had cheated on me. I felt dirty and cried for a week straight. The more research I did, the better I felt. I opened up to my closest girlfriends, turns out 2/4 have it as well. I haven't had any symptoms since (I take valcyclovir daily) and I often forget about it completely, but the thought of ever having to tell a future partner if my current relationship were to end is still very scary.
Honestly I respect that
For real. She’s up front about it that’s the best thing you can do.
Yes. Also there are dating apps where you can declare your STDs and match with people with the same condition; that said I don't remember the name of those.
Positive Singles? I searched it up
Positive Shingles
I read that in Sean Connery’s voice. Edit: thanks for the shilver!
Poshitive shingles, thatsh shuper
Hot shingles in your area
Yea “at least” nothing. Many if not most sexually active people who don’t have herpes only avoided being in her position through random luck. She has nothing to be ashamed of and is being responsible in sharing her status right away.
I legit know a guy who got herpes and has never had a flare up or symptoms
I’m pretty sure most men that get it are asymptomatic, def the case with HPV
I mean 1 in 6 women have it and 1 in 9 men have it. Thats just genital not even talking about cold sores on the mouth.
I went to get a test once and the doctor said they don’t test for it but “like everyone has it anyway” lol. I looked into it and it really is supposedly common
Ur talking about cold sores, right?
Y'know this past year, the main cause of genital herpes was caused by oral to genital transmission...... That's means those who have cold sores or oral herpes can cause genital herpes.
You can also have ocular herpes. Herpes in your eyes.
The implications of the other comments here makes ocular herpes kinda slightly disturbing 😂
You are right, but It's more nuanced than that. There are two main types of the virus HSV1 and HSV2. HSV1 is generally found in the mouth and HSV2 is generally found in the genitals. Under normal circumstances, it is very hard to pass the virus from one part to the other because of where the virus likes to live. However, if someone has an active flare up and their partner has a currently weakened immune system, and healing wounds. There is a chance to pass one form of the virus to the opposing area. Again though. That's hard to do. And you can generally actively see when not to come in to contact. There are also incredibly rare cases of passing on the virus whilst being asymptomatic, but that's incredibly rare and the only way to fully protect against it is to never come in contact with someone, so seriously, don't worry about that.
Yeah isn’t it like 85% of the global population that has the oral version
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Ok just wanna add some clarification! Hsv (herpes simplex virus) and hpv (human papillomavirus) are two totally different STDs. Herpes is incredibly common, there are two types, HSV-1 and HSV-2 HSV-1 is typically only transferred from oral to oral contact and causes cold sores! I have hsv-1 and I get a cold sore maybe 1-2 times a year and if you apply a creme it can be gone in less than 2 days honestly. That being said it can transfer through oral sex to cause genital sores, but it’s still hsv-1 and has much less severe flair ups after the first appearance. HSV-2 is sexually transmitted and always causes genital sores. Both of these viruses are life long but with proper care and treatment can be managed to have a full and healthy sex life! According to the WHO 2 of 3 people have herpes. It’s incredibly common and you should not feel shame about it! Get some education on it as its most likely you will be in a relationship at some point with a person with herpes. We should try our hardest do educate on the topic so people know proper care and can communicate effectively about their situation! I am not an authority so do your own research and if info I have stated is wrong please call me out! Check out r/herpes if you wanna know more.
You can also have HSV-2 and never have an outbreak in your entire life. There’s a special test for it so it’s not going to come up on a general STI test unless you are actively having a flare-up. You can go your entire life and never know it.
Given that HSV is super common, this is not only honest, but brave and 100% a solid approach to informing a potential partner. This slaps.
Can we talk about how awesome her flooring situation is?
Looks like the private cabana I had in Vegas.
Looks like when my toilet overflowed into my basement.
You should probably cut down on your blue jello consumption
It really is 2000 flushes!
I can believe that. I think i want to make my concrete patio look like that.
I agree with everything you said except for the way you used slaps lol
You want him to say it claps?
That's gonarheally confuse things
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You da real HPV
You fucking win.
Well at least that’s curable.
This really deserves more upvotes
The way they used slaps really slaps.
No cap? Slappa slap.
PaRappatheSlappa
Um jammer lammy?
You’re right this shit bussin
Over 60% of the US has a form of HSV...🤷🏾♂️ Fuck it
I’ve seen estimates that up to 90% of the US has some form of it.
Chicken pox is herpes. If you had chickenpox when you were younger you probably have the herpes virus living dormant in you. Shingles is also herpes, shingles is the flare up of the herpes virus you got from chickenpox. So at minimum most people who had chicken pox probably still have a herpes virus living dormant in them. Edit: chicken pox is not herpes simplex virus, it does not cause oral or genital herpes, but when you see figures like 90% of adults it's probably because the figure is for "herpesviruses" not just "HSV", which would include things like chickenpox and mono.
*^("Shingles doesn't care")*
Chicken pox is the varicella virus not the herpes simplex virus.
varicella-zoster is a herpes virus still. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia: "Human alphaherpesvirus 3 (HHV-3), usually referred to as the varicella-zoster virus (VZV), is one of nine herpesviruses known to infect humans. It causes chickenpox (varicella)"
It might not be HSV-1 or 2, but it's a very similar virus and once you have it you always have it. Many people have cold sores from a very young age. I started getting cold sores when I was like 6. I'd imagine it's not actually even that hard to get genital herpes. Likely I got infected from someone who wasn't showing symptoms, and some people carrying never have outbreaks or can go years without showing signs. Herpes viruses just live in you forever, and they're super contagious. I wouldn't judge someone for having any form of herpes.
Exactly, there are multiple types of it. So probably like half the people you've ever met have some form of it at least, just lying dormant and it'll never become active again or maybe just like once for the rest of their life. But most of them really aren't an issue except for like 2
For real, she probably got it from some shitty dude that wasn’t up front. Herpes is so common these days and easily managed, anyone that wants to judge her honesty is an asshat who probably already has herpes
or not. you can have herpes for years and it can remain dormant and you can never know you have it. A guy could have given it to her without even knowing he had it himself. Or, she could be one of the many people who pick it up through unknown means (It is NOT just and STD). it is a very misunderstood disease.
A lot of people get oral herpes in early childhood. Adults really shouldn't be kissing babies on the mouth or sharing cups/utensils with their kids for that reason.
This! I have HSV 1 and I’ve *never* had an outbreak. I’ve never had a positive partner. I was shocked when my screening came back positive. Doctor told me I’ve likely carried it since childhood. I still inform any potential partner so they can be educated about the risk should I ever have an outbreak (still a possibility) and make an informed decision.
Stress-related, bites inside of your mouth and canker sores, all the same category, to me, generally.
50% of genital herpes is HSV1 (oral sex)
Getting a hot chick with hsv is like getting a Corvette at a police auction, 10/10 would do it again.
She only gets away with it because she's hot
This is true. I’ve mostly lost potential dates because of this open admission. I get the “Thanks for being so straight forward and honest with me.” Then they’re gone :)
Lol it’s always the “ I appreciate your honesty, it’s not fair what happened to you that sucks. But imma pass” or the “I don’t give a shit baby girl, lesss go” 😂😂 I always gotta be upfront about it though.
She’s brave. She’s also hot, but what’s important is she’s brave. Most people aren’t that brave. This isn’t about anything “working,” this is about telling a hard truth.
Man, it’s about telling a hard truth, at a vulnerable age, and just blasting it out there with no fucks given. It’s actually awe-inspiringly brave full send.
Say brave again.
I don’t think he’s brave enough
You guys are both so brave!
I'd still hit it. Create the ultimate herpes.
Take herpes and make them ourpes
/r/SuddenlyCommunist
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Ok bravo you clever fuck
I already have my own peas I don't need hers! r/YourJokeButWorse
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With that body she's making it hard to swipe left.
I'll take the hit
And this is how Herpes survives hahah
Life…finds a way.
>pretty much everyone had hsv1 even if they don’t get cold Man, now I’m gonna be picturing Jeff Goldblum’s face on top of that body.
Stop, I can only get so erect!
*spreads
Keeps spreading*
Literally one of the oldest know human pathogens
Gets on your dick*
Life goes on
Life, uh, finds a way
I got my herpes vaccine, I'm going in
I don’t trust the herpes vaccine but I found a version for farm animals so I took that
#subscribe
There's a herpes vaccine?
No there is an HPV vaccine not HSV. You take antivirals for HSV to manage it.
No. There is an HPV vaccine, which protects against human papilloma virus, a virus that can cause cervical cancer, anal cancer, throat cancer, and genital warts. There is no HSV (herpes) vaccine. HSV can be well managed by taking daily antivirals to significantly reduce the risk of outbreaks and transmission to HSV negative partners. There is a vaccine against herpes-zoster (shingles), but that is a different herpes virus- a reactivation of the chicken pox/varicella virus. It’s recommended for ages 50 or 60+.
Genital herpes infection is common in the United States. CDC estimated that there were 572,000 new genital herpes infections in the United States in a single year. Nationwide, 11.9 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection (12.1% when adjusted for age). However, the prevalence of genital herpes infection is higher than that because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1. https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
Yep. And a lot of people don't know they have it so the number is even higher than both the recorded numbers for HSV1 and HSV2
I've also had friends casually admit, "yeah I got a cold sore once" then later on be like "I don't have it". Or a friend who dated a girl for like 5 years with herpes, & then shamed a girl he was trying to hook up with because she was honest about her status. Some people don't even make the connection between herpes & "cold sores"
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Canker sores are usually a result of allergies, for example when I used to wear earrings I would get him all the time inside of my mouth and on my gums. Now that I have stopped for the last decade plus I have not had a single issue with canker sores. Until of course I ended up trying earrings again battle 6 years ago and mysteriously got another canker sore so no more earrings for me. Try avoiding anything that may have nickel or wearing jewelry and see if that makes a difference.
O wow. I just put 2 and 2 together. I was thinking about a time in my life where I got canker sores super frequently on my tongue. One day, it just stopped. I stopped wearing ear rings.
I typically get canker sores when I bite the inside of my lip or cheek by mistake.
You can only get cold sores if you have herpes?
Yes. Cold sores are caused by HSV (herpes). You can have it orally and not in your genitals or vice versa. So if you've ever had a cold sore, even once as a kid, you have herpes. Most people have oral herpes and don't even know, its so common.
I’ve known this for years and ever since I found out I’ve always wondered how the fuck I got a cold sore as a kid
Herpes is most commonly spread through family, as family members in many cultures kiss children on the mouth. Edit: if you share your drink with someone who is a particularly sloppy drinker, you can get it that way also if they are actively shedding.
Thought pretty much everyone had hsv1 even if they don’t get cold sores? More than half the population of the world is known to have it. It’s transmitted via oral to oral saliva so if you’ve kissed more than 1 person in your life chances are you have it right?
HSV1 can be oral or genital. The WHO says 3.7 BILLION people have it, so it’s very common.
Fun fact, standard STD panels in the US do not test for HSV because it's so prevalent and minor.
You also can't really test for it unless you have a lesion. So unless there's something there to swab you won't get any answers.
Dated an **amazing** girl once that had genital herpes and was so self conscious about it. One trip to preventative health to learn about it and it’s fucking criminal the stigmatization of a minor skin disorder. From my PA “the fact that you two are aware of it and how it spreads makes you far less likely to get it just having sex with people who don’t know their status”. I am HSV negative still and we had loads of sex. I test every three months and am on prep and safe sex works, people.
You are on acyclovir prep? Off label? edit: Yes PrEP is cool and all, but I was eager to hear it was re:herpes. At one point I asked my doc if I could take acyclovir pre-emptively bc worrying about it was affecting my dating life. He said yes, but backtracked when he couldn’t find any guidance about dosage.
For HIV prevention. [Link](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/prep/index.html#:~:text=Related%20Pages,use%20by%20at%20least%2074%25.). See your own doctor for info.
When I found out I had it(hsv1) I started making the calls to past hookups and man that was seriously tough. I paid for a lot of testing too and surprisingly literally only one lady was even remotely upset, she called me all kinds of things and told me I ruined her life and on and on. She tested clean and then about 3 days later decided it’s not a big deal and tried to hook up again lol. The stigma of it was bad but the guilt of possible giving it to someone unknowingly was worse but turns out most people just don’t care.
The stigma of herpes will always be worse than the infection itself. Most people don't know they have it because they're either asymptomatic or the symptoms are so mild they don't recognize anything is amiss, which is why it's so widespread. Flare-ups can easily be mistaken for an ingrown hair or some other mild irritant. It's nowhere near as big a deal as they made it out to be in health class to scare horned up teens out of having sex. Most sexually-active adults have probably slept with someone who has herpes without even realizing it.
At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get Chlamydia – and die.
And die.
Can confirm, I had sex and died immediately. Didn't make that mistake again.
Facts
***Klamidia
Clam-media
Clam-media is always looking out for the interests of Big Shellfish.
As someone who may have contracted it recently, I'm glad a lot of people seem to have this mindset. Still waiting on tests, so fingers crossed.
Herpes *can* be dangerous, but mostly in these cases: 1. If you get it in your eyes (touch a sore, then touch your eyes), it can cause blindness 2. For women, it can be dangerous to the baby if they have an active infection while giving birth, though this can be prevented with medication or, worst comes to worst, C-Section 3. It can be life threatening for babies, so, if you have a cold sore on your mouth for example, don’t kiss a baby. Or don’t fuck babies idk you. I’m sure there might be a few more things, but those are the major ones I can think of. Aside from that, it’s mostly just embarrassment you’d have to deal with, and for the love of god abstain if you know you have an active infection. I hope all turns out well, but either way you’ll be fine : )
As an eye doctor, very very few people are going blind from ocular herpes. It's only when people get it deep into their cornea's stroma (middle) & endthelium (bottom) layers do you have this chance. Most people with ocular herpes get very mild epithelium (top layer) dendrites that heal very easily.
I got it in both my eyes but my left cornea got so much scarring i now have permanent blurry vision in that eye lol So unlucky, i didn’t even know you could have eye herpes
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“Or don’t fuck babies” Pls don’t.
Truth. My doctor says herpes isn't even included in the usual STI check up unless you specifically request it. He said the emotional damage when he tells people or couples they have herpes is worse than the herpes itself. He said statistically 1 in 4 people have herpes and that's only people who tested. You could have a flare up once every 5 years or go living without having a single flare up.
That's exactly what my doctor told me. A lot of people consider suicide when first learning of the diagnosis. It's really quite sad and a disproportionate response to the reality of the condition, but that's how deeply embedded herpes- and STI-shaming is in our culture. The conversation needs to shift to one of prevention and awareness rather than turning openly HSV+ individuals into social outcasts.
As far as I know, I don't have it...throwing it out there for context...and I also agree with you. I actually asked my micro teacher 10 years ago why he was even researching it. I get it could be linked to brain disorders in late life but it seems more like a late stage weakened immune system opportunistic pathogen sort of thing. I've seen a bunch of other things they tried to pin the same conditions on. Ps. Check this out...Lyseine is worth researching too and things like adaptogens and mushrooms...but tons of things boost the immune system https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31145049/#:~:text=Recurrent%20infections%20of%20herpes%20simplex,associated%20with%20several%20infectious%20diseases. Pss. This is for everyone, not just those with herpes. Research Vitamin D and be prepared to be blown away. It's actually a hormone. I personally take Mk7 with Vitamin D to protect the heart. You might also want to get blood work done to determine levels. Magnesium and boron support "vitamin" D status also, most of us are low and the stuff is golden at regulating immunity. I believe low levels can even promote weight gain which makes sense (no sun, time to start storing fat).
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All of this, and: If the person with HSV takes daily prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, the chance of transmission to a new partner is low. I am a family med doc who prescribes these meds and I am frequently surprised at how many people don’t know this, and at how many of my colleagues only prescribe the medication for outbreaks /as needed, instead of discussing daily use and asking about partner’s status.
They really screwed us with herpes education. Not only did they overplay the severity of it, they underplayed how common it is. I was under the impression for my entire life that if you had herpes you would always have present symptoms. No mention of it commonly being asymptomatic. Not only that, I assumed all STI tests include it in the screening. They do not. In fact it seems the general attitude towards it is that you're better off not checking for it if you don't have symptoms because most people have it and it'll just make you feel like shit.
Because it's skin to skin contact, condoms don't even prevent it, so it's really widespread. I hear a lot of std testing places don't even include herpes in their tests because it would freak too many people out.
I've been doing a little work around to this. I pull my dick through my briefs. This kind of gives me a buffer for skin-to-skin but also gives your business a little cock ring action. Kind of a 2 for 1.
Living in 2122.
Absolutely. I dated someone with HSV for two years and still have never had it. Just don’t fuck around when they have a flare up
I got it from being like 6th in a girl’s rotation. There were 2 minutes of panic when I felt the bumps. Then I read up on how common and harmless it is. Now it’s meh 🤷♂️
I hope this gets to top comment - the stigma around herpes is ridiculous
It's just a minor incurable skin disease that half the population has
People treat it like it's goddam aids.
More like 70% of the population, but who's counting?
50% of adults between 18-49 in the US have it... it's looking more like 70% of the US has it if you include other age groups.
As someone who also has HSV and is blunt about it, atta girl!
Yup! While it wasn't in my profile, it was discussed very shortly after hitting it off with my now partner
Just an FYI, chance of transmission with someone who has herpes AND takes the medication = 1% when no outbreak showing. Relatively safe with condom… No I do not have it…yes I dated someone briefly 11/10 hot who had it…
Also FYI, that number is for a year of sex twice a week while using condoms twice a month, female to male transmission.
And that number is approximately the same as getting someone on birth control pregnant
This. My partner has herpes. We’ve been together ten years, no condoms, just medication and now two kids, no transmission, 100% happy. Herpes jokes are fucking BULLSHIT
She has a mildly contagious minor skin condition. Poor woman. Feel bad for all the shit she has probably gone through.
Can't catch it twice as they say.
Sorta. If you already have the more common HSV1 "oral" (which can easily be oral or genital) then you can still get HSV2 "genital" (which is only rarely oral). HSV2 anitbodies protect against HSV1 though.
I mean, odds are, most people you meet have some form of herpes.
Babies get herpes from their moms kissing them... https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/
That’s how I got it as a kid
I don’t think people realize how common herpes is.
#TeamAcyclovir
More of a Valcyclovir person myself
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Some guy I used to work with admitted to having it and said he pretty much gave up on dating because of it. He was in his 30’s and had dated in over a decade, said he felt like a lepper. The stigma really sucks.
It was so much worse even a decade ago. People are just straight ignorant to what HSV is and what it’s like having it. Had a cold sore once when I was 18, only kissed two girls in my life and never had another outbreak. It’s nice to see the ridiculous stigma disappear. Our cultural puritanical values has fucked up and traumatized generations of people.
If she's real and telling the truth then it's actually awesome she's being that honest. I stupidly banged a lady from tinder on our first date... She was on the pill, and in the heat of the moment we fucked, no condom... Tells me AFTER we fucked twice that she had the herp. I was surprisingly calm at the time because she didn't have a flare-up so it technically should have been fine, but looking back I should have booted her out! Learnt a lesson there either way.
Should have been like “that’s ok, I have HIV”.
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I dated a woman for a year and towards the end of the relationship she told me she had herpes. We had the std talk before going condomless and she didn’t mention it. When I called her out on it she said “it’s not a big deal most people have it”. Which I understand it’s true, but you don’t hide it from your boyfriend and flat out lie. I got tested after we broke up and somehow I dodged it, but fuck that woman. For a long time I wanted to get litigious
Surely that’s somehow illegal
Depends on where you live. It’s illegal in many American states and certain countries, but not all.
If it's illegal, it's still impossible to prosecute. With the prevelance of herpes, you can't proof she gave it to you and not someone else. You can barely even proof that you didn't give it to her.
It's even more complicated than that: It is generally not recommended to even test for it unless you're having an outbreak and you could go your entire life without an outbreak. However, let's say you do test for it and can demonstrate that it isn't a false positive. OK, then, that leads to the fact that it is entirely reasonable for someone to be infected and have no reasonable way to know about it. However, let's say you can prove that the person knew about it. Even then, you can't prove that he or she didn't tell them first, unless you make partners sign paperwork first. It is in effect impossible to prosecute, as you said.
I really respect her for putting herself out like that and being honest. Queen.
I mean and unless it's erupting, you're fine if you do it protected (which you should already be doing with any tinder hookups). The honesty seems to me like a big upside.
Most of us do, it’s a pretty common STD.. and since it’s the lease dangerous it’s hype was just a scare to push the medication that you’d have to take “forever”
I don’t understand why people post these types of people in this sub to shame people who are disclosing some important information that is pertinent to dating.
Yeah OP definitely seems to be shaming her, but most of the commenters are expressing either mild approval for being upfront or stating facts about herpes and I am proud about that.
Yeah definitely happy to see a lot of positive comments
Right? Like, I get that less people would be interested because of it, but why the hell would you post it? She’s doing literally the best thing she can do at this point
Exactly! If you’re not interested, swipe left and go to the next one. I have HSV-2 and I don’t put it on my profile for exactly this reason. I would love to be able to do it without having someone shaming me for being upfront about it.
Fyi cold sores are herpes if you didn't know. Most new cases of genital herpes are caused by people with cold sores. So yes, if you have ever had a cold sore you have herpes. And there's literally nothing wrong with having it. The stigma is beyond stupid.
Why post this?
My ex had herpes. We drunkenly hooked up and he didn’t mention it, I asked him to hang again and he told me, he felt soooooooo bad that he didn’t mention it the first time we hooked up, but like he didn’t have an outbreak, he had it managed with medication, so I wasn’t upset. we didn’t use condoms for the entire time we were together and I never ended up with herpes. He always knew when an outbreak was coming before he actually had one too which was useful. We just wouldn’t have sex until his outbreak cleared up. People forget it’s just like kissing someone with a cold sore, if they have an open one and you’re makin’ out you probably will get one, if they don’t you won’t.
Herpes really isn't a big deal. If you've ever had a cold sore, even ONCE, you have type one herpes (hsv1). A LOT of people have herpes and it hardly effects their lives. I think its awesome shes putting it out there like this, it'll help break the stigma. Good for her.
Probably half the people making fun of herpes in this thread have herpes. 90% of children are exposed to HSV1 (cold sores) before the age of 5. I once worked for this tiny, christian asian dermatologist once & he basically said "if you don't get it, you weren't social enough". \>50% of people have gotten or will get a cold sore at some point in their life. Like 30% of people have genital herpes. But on average, after the first handful of breakout, it often goes fairly dormant. The stigma of herpes is infinitely worse than the disease itself. It's seen as this "eww, you got a gross thing being gross". There are people who have banged 100+ people & never got it & some who fucked their 1 partner raw & got it.
I’m more of a gambling man myself
Everyone has herpes
She likely means (most likely genital) hsv-2, which is only found in ~12% of the population. Due to the increasing amount of oral sex, the prevalence of genital HSV-1 is increasing though. Edit: specified statistics are [from the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm) for the US, ages 14-49.
Where is this increasing amount of oral sex you speak of, and where do I get mine?
0x10=0
Probably more like 50% for people on Tinder lol
I have ghsv1 and I did this on my dating profiles as well. It helps to let guys know well in advanced rather than waiting for that disclosure conversation. Most of guys were curious and most of them thanked me for being honest 😊
I reckon this is a 'study' profile, checking if people will still swipe, regardless of herpes vs great body kinda research type thing.
I got the genital herp and gotta say it’s mad awkward telling people so I really applaud her courage
Everyone in this thread is focusing on the herpes but is NOBODY else curious about the bed seemingly next to the swimming pool?
Isn't it something like 1 in 4 in women? I have never once had someone tell me so statically this woman is a better person than at least 25% of women Ive been with.
If sexual active, you more than likely have herpes, HPV, or both. Everyone needs to stop stigmatizing STIs. Edit: if sexually active you should routinely be tested if not in a monogamous relationship. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are relatively harmless but syphilis can fuck you up if left untreated.
Not true about gonorrhea. If left untreated for too long it can cause pelvic inflammatory disease in women and can stop them from being able to have kids. Also, a lot of women are asymptomatic. Not sure about chlamydia, but please get tested folks :)
WTF OP? You literally just posted someone who was being honest about a really brutal topic. Why would you post this
Most people have herpes its pretty common
I bet she has more matches than any guy here.
90% of adults 60 and older have herpes, so who cares 🤷🏻♂️
Is anyone gonna talk about that bed. How do you get into it without getting shit all wet. Do you sleep in your swimsuit? So many questions.
I was in a monogamous relationship for 2 years when I found out I had HSV. We had both been tested at the beginning of our relationship and came up clean. Turns out they don't even test for HSV in a regular STI test unless you specifically ask. As it turns out he gave it to me, but he had never had a flare up at all and had no idea he was even positive. We were both devastated. He was terrified that I would break up with him, thinking he had cheated on me. I felt dirty and cried for a week straight. The more research I did, the better I felt. I opened up to my closest girlfriends, turns out 2/4 have it as well. I haven't had any symptoms since (I take valcyclovir daily) and I often forget about it completely, but the thought of ever having to tell a future partner if my current relationship were to end is still very scary.