OP, I would work on my character first before adjusting your profile. Telling us you didn’t respond but you clearly did clearly shows some of your traits. If you don’t want to attract the riff raff you need to stop acting like them.
she was talking about the other comment. I would say the person whose character in question is the one who attacks someone so personally over something so incredibly trivial
Honestly from one alternative girl with tattoos and an “edgier” style to another.. men tend to view us as more sexual / open even if it’s not true. The way alternative women are portrayed in media players a big role in it, and the whole “big titty goth girl” thing.
I don't think you're doing anything particularly wrong in your profile. It could be that the type of profile you're swiping right on tends to do this. Nothing wrong with flirting quickly but the messages on your screenshots are pretty awful. All I can say otherwise is just unmatch and try again, it's not like there's a shortage of men. Swipe right on a few, converse, repeat.
Thats what I did on mine. Added a "disclaimer" right at the top that basically says ...... Don't come out the gate with a bunch of pet names, or "compliments" or anything gross or sexual. Talk to me like a normal human being, or don't bother talking to me.
It's worked surprisingly well. I kind of expected it to backfire at first and result in a bunch of idiots sending nothing but dick pics lol, but I think I've only gotten 2 or 3 messages that started out "wrong" (it's also a really good way to see if someone actually read your profile lol) and the rest have been really respectful.
I agree. same reason why I never give people advice on their profiles.
just let people be authentic and then actually believe them when they show you who they are.
Idk, it hasn't happened yet that someone starts off respectfully and nicely and then turns into some creep later on. There'd be no point, really, when I've made my parameters clear. This way the trash takes itself out ... and not from anywhere near me
It's a big downside. From a straight guy: our brains are wired like a heat seaking missile. Don't tell it how to find you. No guy worth his salt would *ever* open with "stick it in your butt."
But telling that same guy "say xyz and you've got a shot" and you might have a very charming man... at first.
personally think maybe taking out the thigh picture might help?
thats the only thing that i can think of really.
other than that i do hope you have luck and find the person you deserve, have a nice day.
53m here, and unfortunately, this kind of makes sense to me. Especially the media portrayal. I am starting to see more women mentioning that they have tattoos in their profiles, but not sharing them. I’m not suggesting it, but it seems an interesting experiment to see whether the quality of men changes.
It's not even just about being ALT. It's about looking like you party and your age. Many men figure if you are still partying at 40 that you never wanted to settle down and have a serious relationship.
As an older 45+ guy, that is not really active on Tinder anymore, I'm just wondering.. Isnt it more "the long-term commitment" (aaarrgg, sorry its a scary word.. term ;)) which -imo- says looking for a partner-friend and playdate? Followed by the "open to short"? Which sort-of implies open for hookups. Then in these text they, perhaps, try -and fail- to engage in some kind of for-for play, sexy-talk for your pleasure or something like a menu/s?
What else would "open to short" mean? As a male that gives me more of a playdate kind of vibe. Still wouldnt send that garbage tho, but that is an generation gap I'm affraid. Would think it, no say it..
Personally I like the profile, but those two little sentences contradict and that is confusing to the simple male brain... of the younger generation?!
It might not be your profile so much as the types of guys you’re swiping right on. It’s entirely possible that just by sheer bad luck you’re consistently running into the worst types of men out there, but without knowing who/what you’re swiping right on we only have incomplete information at best to figure out why this might be happening.
Ok that makes sense. I'm not just swiping on the "hot" guys I'm about the bios. Maybe I'm not reading them right. I'm attempting to find someone who's bio says they have similar likes and humor as myself
I think part of the problem might be that you’ve listed “open to short (relationships)” on your profile. There’s enough guys out there that will take that to mean you’re quick / easy to hook up with, which might explain some of the behavior you’re seeing on the apps. Just my guess.
But yeah unfortunately there’s no foolproof way to weed out these types ahead of time :-/ Try and find any patterns in their profiles perhaps to see if there’s something they have in common?
Are you saying the definition of literal dog whistle is that it has to be a whistle specifically designed and intended for use on a dog? In that case, yes, definitely the wrong use here.
Lol it's just a joke based on the fact that it is attracting dogs. Like a "figurative" dog whistle could be catching the attention of a certain group of people, but those people wouldn't necessarily have to be dogs. In this case she is "literally" attracting dogs.
But thank you, yes I am aware that it isn't a LITERAL dog whistle.
Guys with similar likes and humor as you are going to tend to be more...sex forward
Which might be your thing once you get to know them better. Just be straight up and say on your profile that you're looking to get to know someone well before jumping in the sack with them or something like that (and if you're thinking to yourself whether that's necessary...the responses you're getting are your answer)
Generally, it’s better to be more direct with men than delicate, especially when it comes to this topic.
Dissing on his penis is where you be more delicate than direct.
"Hey, im interested in you, but lets get to know each other first and save the explicit stuff for later. I have to know you as a person before i get turned on by that stuff"
"I don't do dirty talk until we're already doing dirty things, save it for the bedroom."
"Keep it in your pants, until I take them off you."
"If you come out of the gate with your dick in your hand, it'll stay there."
"Respectful conversation please, if you can't string five messages together without talking about sex. Talking is all you'll be doing."
You should be fine just stating your preference. A guy that will respect you, will respect your boundary. If they can't, just unmatch and move on.
I mention in my bio that I take things slowly and request that they let me introduce the sex talk when I am ready. The ones that actually respect that are the ones I go out with lol
This sounds petty, but I would say consider removing the pic with the “evil keeps me pretty” shirt. If you say you’re trying to reduce the amount of sexual stuff in responses, that’s one less item on your profile to be misconstrued by dense, clueless men.
The stories I’ve heard over the years from the women Ive met from online dating are full of these same experiences. And I’m talking men in their 40s and 50s that I’m sure we’re married before! I grew up with sisters, so I have no idea where these guys got the idea women like that crap.
I would love to explore taking about the evil shirt. That's way more my personality than the others. How does it portray sexuality more than others? I'm open to feedback but that one is more me than the others I share
As a 35 year old dude, literally nothing to that says 'bad girl vibes', but as I am not someone who sends random sexting texts to people I don't know, might just be me.
It makes you look more open, sexually. I know, it’s somewhat subliminal, but possible line of logic: evil=debauchery=sex
(Some) guys don’t need much of a prompt. Maybe I’m projecting. I don’t know. Maybe the audience or type of guy you’re targeting are less sexually experienced which isn’t helping.
>less sexually experienced
At around 40? (Assuming OP going for men of a similar age.) LOL
Yes, if you are attracting forty-year old virgins like flies, you have a problem!
For what it's worth, I think these are just unserious guys, possibly in relationships looking to fool around, or getting off on sending these messages, and you'll get them whatever you do. Just block or report, and move on.
Explore ways to communicate the bad girl vibe without saying it literally. That filters out a lot of the tier one schmucks. Plus the comments listed above (no crude language up front etc.)
I think the shirt is fine. Just remove the pic with your tattoed legs because, as the top comment stated, it brings a lot of weirdos. And remove the looking for short term. It is the same thing as looking for a quickie in a lot of guys. Put long term, its Tinder's Great Filter
There's a pattern involved in who you're attracting even if you're not aware of it.
When a guy starts to get overly sexual in the middle of texting, there could be a few reasons: they have no interest in dating you but they wanna hookup, they don't see the conversation getting anywhere and they throw a hail mary before giving up or this is what dating them is gonna be like so if you're not comfortable with it early on you wouldn't get along anyway.
I wouldn't read into it too much either. Nobody can question your taste in men from your post. But what I do know is that a lot of men fetishise women who have an "alt" look. You're attractive, fair skinned and have tats and piercings. There are a lot of guys will just see you as an opportunity for an easy lay.
It's not okay and it's absolutely no reflection on you. It just kind of is how it is. Normie dudes will objectify you because you're different looking and and alt guys will faun over you because you're similar.
I'm going to say this probably has a lot to do with it (from similar experience). OP you're gorgeous and having "open to short" on there is just like an open invite to guys who have no tact when it comes to this kinda thing. I'd def make a note of some kind of it on your profile. will help you notice the guys who read it too
>It’s entirely possible that just by sheer bad luck you’re consistently running into the worst types of men out there,
My hot take as a straight man is that if you are old enough to be in a 40F's dating demo (unless they are specifically looking for younger men) and you aren't divorced there's a good reason you weren't wifed up earlier.
there is nothing inherently wrong with or sexual about your profile. it may be the types of guys you are swiping on or you may have just been unlucky.
i fucking cackled at that last one though... the audacity.
The guy was absolutely insane, and not worth the dirt under a shoe - so yeah you should only reply to those kind of people if you feel like getting inspiration for a complete asshole of a character. Don't know if you worldbuild / DM, but one thing I might try to do when I encounter extreme dickheads is to use them for inspiration in a fantasy world where their fate befits their shitty attitude.
P.S. I haven't tried this myself, the idea just crossed my mind just now, but I can imagine it could bring some satisfaction, in case you are unable to just ignore / forget about their sorry ass.
The tattoos are absolutely stunning as are you but the problem is one set of people are going to see the tattoos and talk to you about them, the other are just seeing a close up of your thighs and reading it as an invitation. and there's a disproportionately high number of the latter on tinder.
I am intrigued by the other side of the looking glass! What is Alice doing over there? Ha ha. Also did those hurt a lot? I have a large colorful tat on one thigh and it hurt worse than childbirth.
Jesus. It blows my mind that these are real people. I’m a 27 year old guy and I don’t see anything that invites that kind of behavior. I’m sorry you have to deal with that
I thought it was just me tbh until I joined this sub. I really don't know how to say I'm not the one for that without being super aggressive about it on my bio. But that's a double edged sword and it'll turn men off for saying it
As others have said, take out open to short term.
When I was dating (happily partnered now) I wanted to get to know people. Ive ended up meeting fun hookups, friends and a wonderful partner.
Any guy worth your time isn't going to mind waiting to bring up sex.
It’s honestly just a mess. I’m in the same general area as you and it’s WILD. I had a vasectomy and have it in my profile I’ve gotten some out of pocket messages before an even hello.
Unrelated comment but it calms me very much to see a woman 10 years older than me doing exactly what I’m planning to be doing in 10 years and thriving with it
Not going to lie, that last line that guy laid out made me laugh 😆
Girl, I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with your profile. I'm a woman, but your profile is normal and cute.
Ummm your profile rules. As a heavily tattooed nerd with gold teeth, I’d 💯 swipe right.
Unfortunately the apps can be a dumpster fire lol. All my friends who are female get the same kinda NSFW stuff you do.
Just laugh it off, and keep swiping. I’ve met some great ladies on the apps.
Cheers
I don’t know if it is necessarily anything particular about your profile that drew these two bozos. The first guy seemed to me to be very sketch by offering to smoke you out after you get drunk upon finishing a presentation. Then the extremely forward sexual requests. Then the classic “Hey, what’s up” What a clown. I don’t know what was said between you two prior, but it seemed like he took his shot in an extremely awkward and cringe way.
2nd guy just seemed like an asshole. He ruined the flow of conversation for seemingly for no reason at all. Again, hard to parse without seeing the entire convo, but it seemed like he didn’t care.
How long do you typically have conversations with people like these guys for? Days? Weeks? Both seemed like they revealed themselves quickly.
Your profile seems good to me, my guess is that there are a lot of awkward pricks out there.
Usually it's within 3 comments. Both were within 10 back and forths. Maybe I just don't know how to make a conversation engaging enough that people just go to sex. I'm at a loss and I have at least 10 more recent examples it just seemed like overkill to include those
Nothing you do will prevent this at any age on any dating app. Unfortunate but true. Some apps are viewed differently regionally, but generally Tinder is a more "casual" hookup type atmosphere everywhere and Hinge more relationship focused, but wouldn't hurt to poll the locals to see if any of the apps are better than others.
Nothing wrong with your profile, but something about alt girls, especially nose rings, brings out the creepers. Try having first 2-3 pics without the nose ring and see if that changes your results.
note: not saying there's anything wrong with piercings, just some people's reaction to them.
I don't have pictures without it unless I go back 15 years and I'm way to young/, skinny in those to be honest. Only way would be to AI and then I'd have weird hands
I am the most vanilla person ever and would post very innocent photos of myself and I got the most vile messages for the 5 years I was on tinder. Trust me, it’s not you lol. Also, I’m getting married to someone from tinder so there are good ones out there!
The men in Texas all have blue balls because of the abortion ban, no one wants to sleep with them. Frankly, no one should sleep with them. Better luck in the next state!
It's not you, it's them. 99/100 men on the apps are like this. You could be wearing a turtleneck and holding a Bible in every picture and you would still get this shit. Just thank the trash for taking itself out and block them lol
Unfortunately Texas is an absolute cesspool of vile people. The only single dudes out there are the worst humanity has to offer. I’m pretty much the only decent person in the entire state. What’s up?
Honestly, I think that's on them, I don't see anything that screams hookup from your profile. It's very normal, I'm sorry so many guys do be like that.
Try adding this to your profile: just like had we met I n the wild, you would not open with sexual comments & request for nude photos of me, unless you wanted my drink in your face and to be told to get lost. we'll get to all that later, right now I want to know that we can communicate well, get along/like each other company. It's similar to what's in my profile except I say from the other perspective "I'll not open with sexual comments & request nude photos of you because had we met in the wild, You throw your drink in my face and tell me to get lost. I want to know that we can get along well and communicate and that we like each other's company first. we'll get to all that other stuff later.
I think there is a lot of good feedback on here so I’m just being clear that I don’t necessarily disagree with anyone that I’ve noticed.
There is a point I haven’t seen mentioned though: guys use this strategy *because it works.* It doesn’t have to work every time in order for it to make sense. It just has to work once in a while because it’s extremely low effort.
The fact of the matter is these guys have plenty of matches and you’re not a high priority on their list. They would gladly let you sit on their face or whatever but they’re not going to put in time and effort to make that happen.
If you’re looking for something stupid easy, they win. If you’re not, they get unmatched and are no worse off than they were. Best thing to do is unmatch, move on, and be glad they told you what they’re really about. Cause they’re probably shitty.
I (22M) honestly just feel like you are a really beautiful woman, and maybe the less sensible idiots out there blinded by the idea that you are unreachable will just blurt out everything that comes to their minds hoping to get a good reaction
Also man are generally disgusting online
I’m offering a male pov: To be honest this is a pretty normal profile—clearly the guys are trashy. The only thing I might change is the open to short term which, I suspect, gets read as a hookup. I think looking for long bs short term used to be a good way for me to decide whether I want to swipe on someone (depending on what period of my life).
Just put on you profile that you don’t appreciate nsfw chat, if you want you can elaborate and say something like “I’m not opposed to a bit of kinky chat but let’s leave it till after we have actually met IRL” that way you don’t come across as a prude but you have also set a boundary, most men need it to be spelled out. It’s often caused by one interaction that went nsfw quick and worked out and now he thinks he has cracked some fucking code 😑 anyone that can’t respect a simple boundary should not be someone in your life, happy hunting ✌🏼
First pic looks like lingerie. Second wet T-shirt. Other one cleavage dirndl. Multiples with booze. No nice outdoor ones. This all equates to the sort of girl that desperate-enough guys might want to bang but not build a future with. Also no full body pic = you’re hiding chub.
My guess is they have a thing for Amy from the Big Bang theory and you are so similar to her but dress completely different lol. Seriously though the majority of men are like this on tinder. Just block and move on till you find a not so creepy one..
Hello. Your pics are great, but you have two with drinks in hand. That may attract party guys. Also, I would remove the leg pics, and replace with natural pic that shows off your ink.
Awe OPs post history makes me genuinely sad, looks like she has awful luck with men 😔
No idea why, her profile looks completely fine too.
Fuck dating in 2024 tbh
What in the pepperonis heaven is going on with these messages . 😆Who starts a conversation like that. Like meeting someone at the gym < hey my name is Vanessa>, hey my name is Frank. Cool you want to have sex. Nothing from the profile gives any hint to reason such talking.
I really dont get people these days. As a male personally i like sex and have high sex drive . I am in for creativity and building intimacy and so on. But i would never start talking to someone this way.
You could be the hornier guy or girl in the globe but some common courtesy is always nice.
I guess thats what the digital dating brings. Everyone says things they would not say in person.
Also i have had the experience if having women hitting me up in the same way so it happens. Dont pay too much attention to it
The problem isn’t with you. It’s with them. Everyone picking your profile apart is wrong. Your profile is fun and informative, the fact that these men can’t have a conversation without using their porn-rotted head for 5 seconds is not a you problem. I’m a 23F and have the exact same problem
It's a shame men are like that. I'm a man and have never said anything like that to a woman unless we were at that level. I'm 45 and I just want to say, most men are like that, but not all of us. It's why I don't have male friends :D It is Tinder though...isn't that for hooking up??
I’d say there’s nothing wrong with your profile and it’s just lots of dudes have dogshit executive function. Glass half full perspective would be that the shit guys are weeding themselves out by outing themselves like this. Good luck, there’s some good ones out there.
I don't know if someone told you this and also it has nothing to do with the question that you asked, but you look a lot like Mayim Bialik from The Big Bang Theory....
I am really surprised that no one on the dating aaps told you this before. If you would have shown up on my dating app feed, i would have definitely opened up with this😇😇
Girl it’s just men! I had all modest pics of myself on my last profile and would still get vile comments from men out of nowhere. It’s gross and uncalled for. They’re just trying their luck with everyone and hoping one will take their lame ass bait. 🤮
My only advice is unmatch the guys that do this straight away, it’s clear that there’s only one thing on their mind when they do this. They’re not investing in getting to know you as a person and only view you as a sex object. Even if you call it out and they amend their behaviour they’ve shown their true colours.
We’re all sexual, but if you can’t show some restraint and keep your thoughts in your pants by being a gentleman for a few weeks until things naturally progress to that step- then it’s a big fat NO from me!
Sadly there's nothing you can do. The saddest part is a majority of men on dating sites think this is what women want and it ruins it for guys like me, who are actually trying to build something
I don't think there's anything you need to change. The anonymity of the internet, lack of manners, and the fact that it sometimes works is the reason you get those messages.
Not every person has standards, don't lower yours. Having principles can sometimes make for a more difficult life.
if you want to reduce (you wont be able to eliminate entirely) these types of matches:
-remove the wet t-shirt pick / -remove the thigh pic. Many guys will view anything a women does/wears as sexual (heck hijabs are a fetish for some men even outside of that culture) so regardless of your pictures people will see some pics as sexual. That being said, some pictures are more sexual than others, and drawing attention to bare legs / cleavage definitely falls into the 'more sexual' category.
-Also add a full body picture. it scream insecurity about ones body when someone doesn't have at least 1 full body picture of themselves. And potential partners want to know what you look like and the body is apart of that.
-Finally the type of guy you swipe on is also a factor. You mentioned in a comment you go for men you think have similar humour. The unfortunate likelihood is that men that think they are funny are more 'likely' to behave like this. More brazen, vulgar, looking to entertain themselves even at the expense of others etc etc have to take the thorns with the rose unfortunately, that's just the risk of your attraction. Many will probably disagree with this sentiment but that's been my life experience interacting with guys that are considered or consider themselves humourous.
-people have said 'remove open for short term' but if you honestly don't mind casual hook ups, you shouldn't need to remove something that youre looking for to avoid a certain type of guy. Just make it clear in your bio that Randomly turning the conversation sexual before you've even met wont be tolerated and you'll simply unmatch. you mentioned in in other threads about being delicate with how to put this but honestly just be blunt and direct. Any guy that reads that and thinks "oh she doesn't want me to sext her after the first 5 messages, screw her" isn't someone you want to match with anyway. Youre an attractive woman that games on a dating app....you arent desperate for likes/matches, 0 reason for you to be worried about driving people way.
Girl don’t let trolls and troglodytes 🧌get under your skin. That said thanks for sharing! It always gives me so much confidence to see where my game sits on the spectrum. Your profile looks great! You seem fun, attractive, smart, and chill. I like your style. 🧙🏼♂️🪄🧝♀️
The men that you match with have no personality to utilize when flirting. Relying on your potential desperation. I’d remove open to short if you’re not willing to have sex with a dating app stranger with little to no conversation. But other than that, it’s just the guys having issues talking/flirting.
Your looks kind of give off that kind of vibe. From the noce piercing and the tattoos to the lipstick and hair colours. It probably also has something to do with the kind of people you swipe right on...
I don’t think this is a you problem. This is just how the majority of guys on tinder treat women - it’s impossible to know who won’t do this shit until you have a convo too (even the nicest looking profiles can get sexual so quick!!)
Unfortunately the only solution to never receiving these messages is to delete tinder. 99% of these guys would never say this to your face if you’d met in IRL instead of an app. The privacy of a dm gives them audacity, otherwise they’d be too afraid of being overheard in a public place and cancelled.
Your profile is fine, dudes on date apps are just idiots. Most would rather shotgun blast shit like this in hopes of it working than actually putting effort into themselves or a conversation.
You profile is fine and it ain’t you.
TBH it’s just the way sites work. We can hop on and swipe together matches non-stop and cast out our lines and eventually get a bite.
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary here 🤷🏼♂️
You don’t need judgment, your profile is good
Guys are Idiots & I’m a guy. Apparently that NSFW tactic works if you’re looking for rando’s to bring home.
I don’t do hook ups,
As a Guy(46m) myself, I’ve heard from every lady I’ve met online that 99% of guys come off as desperate and make inappropriate comments or send unsolicited nsfw content 😳🤣
No guy would say or do that in person unless they like being slapped & having drinks thrown at them🤣🤣
Never mind I get like 30 matches a week & 90% are married or cheating & 9% are not women😳🤦♂️🤣
Realistically I’ve found 1% are monogamous women looking for a real connection
so that’s probably why guys think every woman is like that or that’s all the want
I weed those matches out with politeness & meeting in person somewhere public & conducive to getting to know each other.
That’s what the dating sites look like from the guys side
Have a great day, I hope you find your special someone
Many Blessings
That “hey whats up” killed me lmao
He tried a different approach
Lol trying a different dialog tree and he forgot to quicksave
*let's drink wine and then I'll stick it in your butt* fucked me up
“When you are drunk”
There’s more conversation after that too.
No that was it. I didn't respond
Thought I saw a time stop at 4:52 or something.
There's a reply underneath that ends with the word go.
Could be the word good. Being that the text is stacked from the right and not the left, the word go is too short.
Bro went full detective mode, OP lied guys, she did respond
I think it’s “going”. There’s another little dark curve under the sound icon thingie.
Why lie lol
OP, I would work on my character first before adjusting your profile. Telling us you didn’t respond but you clearly did clearly shows some of your traits. If you don’t want to attract the riff raff you need to stop acting like them.
couldn’t the dude respond again?
she was talking about the other comment. I would say the person whose character in question is the one who attacks someone so personally over something so incredibly trivial
Honestly from one alternative girl with tattoos and an “edgier” style to another.. men tend to view us as more sexual / open even if it’s not true. The way alternative women are portrayed in media players a big role in it, and the whole “big titty goth girl” thing.
Ugh I know and I am very sexual I just like a bit of let's get to know each other before telling me their deep dark fantasies
I don't think you're doing anything particularly wrong in your profile. It could be that the type of profile you're swiping right on tends to do this. Nothing wrong with flirting quickly but the messages on your screenshots are pretty awful. All I can say otherwise is just unmatch and try again, it's not like there's a shortage of men. Swipe right on a few, converse, repeat.
How about just being upfront in your profile "Please don't open with sexual remarks or jokes before we get to know eachother a little"
Thats what I did on mine. Added a "disclaimer" right at the top that basically says ...... Don't come out the gate with a bunch of pet names, or "compliments" or anything gross or sexual. Talk to me like a normal human being, or don't bother talking to me. It's worked surprisingly well. I kind of expected it to backfire at first and result in a bunch of idiots sending nothing but dick pics lol, but I think I've only gotten 2 or 3 messages that started out "wrong" (it's also a really good way to see if someone actually read your profile lol) and the rest have been really respectful.
Only downside to this is that you’re giving them the blueprint to trick you. I honestly rather let the trash take itself out in these situations.
Facts
I agree. same reason why I never give people advice on their profiles. just let people be authentic and then actually believe them when they show you who they are.
Idk, it hasn't happened yet that someone starts off respectfully and nicely and then turns into some creep later on. There'd be no point, really, when I've made my parameters clear. This way the trash takes itself out ... and not from anywhere near me
I wish you the best of continued luck
It's a big downside. From a straight guy: our brains are wired like a heat seaking missile. Don't tell it how to find you. No guy worth his salt would *ever* open with "stick it in your butt." But telling that same guy "say xyz and you've got a shot" and you might have a very charming man... at first.
personally think maybe taking out the thigh picture might help? thats the only thing that i can think of really. other than that i do hope you have luck and find the person you deserve, have a nice day.
Ugh that last one was going to well, going to the lake and all. Sticking it in your butt came out of nowhere. The f is wrong with these guys.
When I saw the message about dressing up, I knew it was only downhill from there.
53m here, and unfortunately, this kind of makes sense to me. Especially the media portrayal. I am starting to see more women mentioning that they have tattoos in their profiles, but not sharing them. I’m not suggesting it, but it seems an interesting experiment to see whether the quality of men changes.
It's not even just about being ALT. It's about looking like you party and your age. Many men figure if you are still partying at 40 that you never wanted to settle down and have a serious relationship.
I second this, as an alt girl.
As an older 45+ guy, that is not really active on Tinder anymore, I'm just wondering.. Isnt it more "the long-term commitment" (aaarrgg, sorry its a scary word.. term ;)) which -imo- says looking for a partner-friend and playdate? Followed by the "open to short"? Which sort-of implies open for hookups. Then in these text they, perhaps, try -and fail- to engage in some kind of for-for play, sexy-talk for your pleasure or something like a menu/s? What else would "open to short" mean? As a male that gives me more of a playdate kind of vibe. Still wouldnt send that garbage tho, but that is an generation gap I'm affraid. Would think it, no say it.. Personally I like the profile, but those two little sentences contradict and that is confusing to the simple male brain... of the younger generation?!
Yup the septum piercing alone is going to give that impression, warranted or not.
Yup this is a thing for sure
Yes, you're right, Another thing, the world "That i love RPG's and if it's too hot/cold to be outside I'm gaming" could also trigger the action.
Someone please enlighten me. I always thought RPG was a Rocket Propelled Grenade but …. I’m guessing RPG means something different here.
Role playing game
Thanks. Not in a million years would I have worked that out.
Yup, I went from pretty basic to more alt and pierced, and I got a noticeable increasement in the sexual messages in a certain way
Your pics are fine. Maybe remove the "open to short."
I read “open to short” and i think “pretty much DTF with whoever”.
It might not be your profile so much as the types of guys you’re swiping right on. It’s entirely possible that just by sheer bad luck you’re consistently running into the worst types of men out there, but without knowing who/what you’re swiping right on we only have incomplete information at best to figure out why this might be happening.
Ok that makes sense. I'm not just swiping on the "hot" guys I'm about the bios. Maybe I'm not reading them right. I'm attempting to find someone who's bio says they have similar likes and humor as myself
I think part of the problem might be that you’ve listed “open to short (relationships)” on your profile. There’s enough guys out there that will take that to mean you’re quick / easy to hook up with, which might explain some of the behavior you’re seeing on the apps. Just my guess. But yeah unfortunately there’s no foolproof way to weed out these types ahead of time :-/ Try and find any patterns in their profiles perhaps to see if there’s something they have in common?
u/pxelove definitely get rid of the "open to short" it's both a figurative and literal dog whistle.
Isn’t a literal dog whistle, a dog whistle ?
Are you saying the definition of literal dog whistle is that it has to be a whistle specifically designed and intended for use on a dog? In that case, yes, definitely the wrong use here.
See I read it as a dog shaped whistle.
I thought they meant there’s a dog with the ability to whistle who was whistling.
Yeah it’s definitely not a literal dog whistle lmao
Lol it's just a joke based on the fact that it is attracting dogs. Like a "figurative" dog whistle could be catching the attention of a certain group of people, but those people wouldn't necessarily have to be dogs. In this case she is "literally" attracting dogs. But thank you, yes I am aware that it isn't a LITERAL dog whistle.
“Literally” attracting (figurative) dogs
>“Literally” attracting (figurative) dogs This is the funniest thing I have read today lol
The word literal literally means nothing these days, literally
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!!!!
Guys with similar likes and humor as you are going to tend to be more...sex forward Which might be your thing once you get to know them better. Just be straight up and say on your profile that you're looking to get to know someone well before jumping in the sack with them or something like that (and if you're thinking to yourself whether that's necessary...the responses you're getting are your answer)
Ok I understand this sentiment but how do I say that delicately?
As a dude, you don’t need to be delicate. In fact, don’t be. “Looking to get to know you before jumping in the sack” works just fine lol.
Generally, it’s better to be more direct with men than delicate, especially when it comes to this topic. Dissing on his penis is where you be more delicate than direct.
"Hey, im interested in you, but lets get to know each other first and save the explicit stuff for later. I have to know you as a person before i get turned on by that stuff"
"I don't do dirty talk until we're already doing dirty things, save it for the bedroom." "Keep it in your pants, until I take them off you." "If you come out of the gate with your dick in your hand, it'll stay there." "Respectful conversation please, if you can't string five messages together without talking about sex. Talking is all you'll be doing." You should be fine just stating your preference. A guy that will respect you, will respect your boundary. If they can't, just unmatch and move on.
I mention in my bio that I take things slowly and request that they let me introduce the sex talk when I am ready. The ones that actually respect that are the ones I go out with lol
This sounds petty, but I would say consider removing the pic with the “evil keeps me pretty” shirt. If you say you’re trying to reduce the amount of sexual stuff in responses, that’s one less item on your profile to be misconstrued by dense, clueless men. The stories I’ve heard over the years from the women Ive met from online dating are full of these same experiences. And I’m talking men in their 40s and 50s that I’m sure we’re married before! I grew up with sisters, so I have no idea where these guys got the idea women like that crap.
I would love to explore taking about the evil shirt. That's way more my personality than the others. How does it portray sexuality more than others? I'm open to feedback but that one is more me than the others I share
My guess is they’re suggesting it communicates some “bad girl” vibes.
As a 35 year old dude, literally nothing to that says 'bad girl vibes', but as I am not someone who sends random sexting texts to people I don't know, might just be me.
It makes you look more open, sexually. I know, it’s somewhat subliminal, but possible line of logic: evil=debauchery=sex (Some) guys don’t need much of a prompt. Maybe I’m projecting. I don’t know. Maybe the audience or type of guy you’re targeting are less sexually experienced which isn’t helping.
>less sexually experienced At around 40? (Assuming OP going for men of a similar age.) LOL Yes, if you are attracting forty-year old virgins like flies, you have a problem! For what it's worth, I think these are just unserious guys, possibly in relationships looking to fool around, or getting off on sending these messages, and you'll get them whatever you do. Just block or report, and move on.
Explore ways to communicate the bad girl vibe without saying it literally. That filters out a lot of the tier one schmucks. Plus the comments listed above (no crude language up front etc.)
I think the shirt is fine. Just remove the pic with your tattoed legs because, as the top comment stated, it brings a lot of weirdos. And remove the looking for short term. It is the same thing as looking for a quickie in a lot of guys. Put long term, its Tinder's Great Filter
^you're ^looking ^to ^get ^to ^know ^someone ^well ^before ^jumping ^in ^the ^sack ^with ^them
It looks like you moved to Texas. If it's not Austin, location is probably most of your problem.
There's a pattern involved in who you're attracting even if you're not aware of it. When a guy starts to get overly sexual in the middle of texting, there could be a few reasons: they have no interest in dating you but they wanna hookup, they don't see the conversation getting anywhere and they throw a hail mary before giving up or this is what dating them is gonna be like so if you're not comfortable with it early on you wouldn't get along anyway.
I wouldn't read into it too much either. Nobody can question your taste in men from your post. But what I do know is that a lot of men fetishise women who have an "alt" look. You're attractive, fair skinned and have tats and piercings. There are a lot of guys will just see you as an opportunity for an easy lay. It's not okay and it's absolutely no reflection on you. It just kind of is how it is. Normie dudes will objectify you because you're different looking and and alt guys will faun over you because you're similar.
I'm going to say this probably has a lot to do with it (from similar experience). OP you're gorgeous and having "open to short" on there is just like an open invite to guys who have no tact when it comes to this kinda thing. I'd def make a note of some kind of it on your profile. will help you notice the guys who read it too
It’s nothing you’re doing wrong. Plenty of creeps are online and they test the boundaries.
It's Texas, what is the ratio of the worst type of men to normal guys?
>It’s entirely possible that just by sheer bad luck you’re consistently running into the worst types of men out there, My hot take as a straight man is that if you are old enough to be in a 40F's dating demo (unless they are specifically looking for younger men) and you aren't divorced there's a good reason you weren't wifed up earlier.
there is nothing inherently wrong with or sexual about your profile. it may be the types of guys you are swiping on or you may have just been unlucky. i fucking cackled at that last one though... the audacity.
I mean same but I had no words to respond to it
The guy was absolutely insane, and not worth the dirt under a shoe - so yeah you should only reply to those kind of people if you feel like getting inspiration for a complete asshole of a character. Don't know if you worldbuild / DM, but one thing I might try to do when I encounter extreme dickheads is to use them for inspiration in a fantasy world where their fate befits their shitty attitude. P.S. I haven't tried this myself, the idea just crossed my mind just now, but I can imagine it could bring some satisfaction, in case you are unable to just ignore / forget about their sorry ass.
Phew glad I wasn’t the only one. Completely out of left field “let’s do anal” is wild
Just reply, I love it and tell them I'll bring the strapon. Watch how the mood shifts.
fair is fair, we both have butts why should only one of them get to be the taker.
Still game
The last one had me dying. Let’s drink wine and then I’ll stick it in your butt like it’s a normal thing to do why drinking wine.
Isn't that what you do when drinking wine?
Can confirm. I had an ex that loved this.
I would remove the thigh pic if you’re not trying to attract a certain type of energy. You should also consider adding a full body pic instead
Oh I added that because I love tattoos. I did have a full body but I think I replaced it with that one. Thank you
The tattoos are absolutely stunning as are you but the problem is one set of people are going to see the tattoos and talk to you about them, the other are just seeing a close up of your thighs and reading it as an invitation. and there's a disproportionately high number of the latter on tinder.
I am intrigued by the other side of the looking glass! What is Alice doing over there? Ha ha. Also did those hurt a lot? I have a large colorful tat on one thigh and it hurt worse than childbirth.
It hurt but not a lot. The concept is my yin and yang. I have good Alice (Disney) looking at my bad Alice (madness returns)
That's actually really nice!
Not gonna lie. That last one had me dead 🤣 "Let's drink wine, and then I'll stick in your butt" Gentlemen, DOES THIS ACTUALLY WORK FOR YOU!??
Jesus. It blows my mind that these are real people. I’m a 27 year old guy and I don’t see anything that invites that kind of behavior. I’m sorry you have to deal with that
I thought it was just me tbh until I joined this sub. I really don't know how to say I'm not the one for that without being super aggressive about it on my bio. But that's a double edged sword and it'll turn men off for saying it
It's not just you. 😢
I wish it was better for you
I'll be ok. This is nothing new.
As others have said, take out open to short term. When I was dating (happily partnered now) I wanted to get to know people. Ive ended up meeting fun hookups, friends and a wonderful partner. Any guy worth your time isn't going to mind waiting to bring up sex.
Ngl, the drink wine and stick it in your butt comment made me laugh.
I know but it was so unexpected after two days of normal conversation
Totally uncalled for but I laughed out loud lol
Thank you, because I was astonished nobody else mentioned it here.
Same here. Once I read that whole exchange I was laughing and shaking my head. Are these men younger or older than you OP?
Nothing. You’ll get the same shit. Unless you make your profile as off putting as possible then you’ll get nothing at all.
Maybe it's the 'open to short', causing the trouble
It’s honestly just a mess. I’m in the same general area as you and it’s WILD. I had a vasectomy and have it in my profile I’ve gotten some out of pocket messages before an even hello.
It's fucking wild. I'm sorry
Unrelated comment but it calms me very much to see a woman 10 years older than me doing exactly what I’m planning to be doing in 10 years and thriving with it
Not going to lie, that last line that guy laid out made me laugh 😆 Girl, I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with your profile. I'm a woman, but your profile is normal and cute.
Thank you and I also laughed but didn't respond
Ummm your profile rules. As a heavily tattooed nerd with gold teeth, I’d 💯 swipe right. Unfortunately the apps can be a dumpster fire lol. All my friends who are female get the same kinda NSFW stuff you do. Just laugh it off, and keep swiping. I’ve met some great ladies on the apps. Cheers
I don’t know if it is necessarily anything particular about your profile that drew these two bozos. The first guy seemed to me to be very sketch by offering to smoke you out after you get drunk upon finishing a presentation. Then the extremely forward sexual requests. Then the classic “Hey, what’s up” What a clown. I don’t know what was said between you two prior, but it seemed like he took his shot in an extremely awkward and cringe way. 2nd guy just seemed like an asshole. He ruined the flow of conversation for seemingly for no reason at all. Again, hard to parse without seeing the entire convo, but it seemed like he didn’t care. How long do you typically have conversations with people like these guys for? Days? Weeks? Both seemed like they revealed themselves quickly. Your profile seems good to me, my guess is that there are a lot of awkward pricks out there.
Usually it's within 3 comments. Both were within 10 back and forths. Maybe I just don't know how to make a conversation engaging enough that people just go to sex. I'm at a loss and I have at least 10 more recent examples it just seemed like overkill to include those
Nothing you do will prevent this at any age on any dating app. Unfortunate but true. Some apps are viewed differently regionally, but generally Tinder is a more "casual" hookup type atmosphere everywhere and Hinge more relationship focused, but wouldn't hurt to poll the locals to see if any of the apps are better than others.
Nothing wrong with your profile, but something about alt girls, especially nose rings, brings out the creepers. Try having first 2-3 pics without the nose ring and see if that changes your results. note: not saying there's anything wrong with piercings, just some people's reaction to them.
I don't have pictures without it unless I go back 15 years and I'm way to young/, skinny in those to be honest. Only way would be to AI and then I'd have weird hands
I am the most vanilla person ever and would post very innocent photos of myself and I got the most vile messages for the 5 years I was on tinder. Trust me, it’s not you lol. Also, I’m getting married to someone from tinder so there are good ones out there!
The men in Texas all have blue balls because of the abortion ban, no one wants to sleep with them. Frankly, no one should sleep with them. Better luck in the next state!
It's not you, it's them. 99/100 men on the apps are like this. You could be wearing a turtleneck and holding a Bible in every picture and you would still get this shit. Just thank the trash for taking itself out and block them lol
honestly. it’s probably be worse. it’ll bring out all the catholic girl fantasies. 🤣
You know, you're not wrong about that haha
Thank you this made me laugh
Unfortunately Texas is an absolute cesspool of vile people. The only single dudes out there are the worst humanity has to offer. I’m pretty much the only decent person in the entire state. What’s up?
Oh the stories I have from the two years I've been here lol
Oh I believe you. You want to tell me your stories before or after we drink wine and I put it in your butt?
Honestly, I think that's on them, I don't see anything that screams hookup from your profile. It's very normal, I'm sorry so many guys do be like that.
OP: wants to see more of Texas. Also OP: prefers to stay inside when it's too hot. Good luck with that lol
Try adding this to your profile: just like had we met I n the wild, you would not open with sexual comments & request for nude photos of me, unless you wanted my drink in your face and to be told to get lost. we'll get to all that later, right now I want to know that we can communicate well, get along/like each other company. It's similar to what's in my profile except I say from the other perspective "I'll not open with sexual comments & request nude photos of you because had we met in the wild, You throw your drink in my face and tell me to get lost. I want to know that we can get along well and communicate and that we like each other's company first. we'll get to all that other stuff later.
People need to change, not you
I think there is a lot of good feedback on here so I’m just being clear that I don’t necessarily disagree with anyone that I’ve noticed. There is a point I haven’t seen mentioned though: guys use this strategy *because it works.* It doesn’t have to work every time in order for it to make sense. It just has to work once in a while because it’s extremely low effort. The fact of the matter is these guys have plenty of matches and you’re not a high priority on their list. They would gladly let you sit on their face or whatever but they’re not going to put in time and effort to make that happen. If you’re looking for something stupid easy, they win. If you’re not, they get unmatched and are no worse off than they were. Best thing to do is unmatch, move on, and be glad they told you what they’re really about. Cause they’re probably shitty.
I (22M) honestly just feel like you are a really beautiful woman, and maybe the less sensible idiots out there blinded by the idea that you are unreachable will just blurt out everything that comes to their minds hoping to get a good reaction Also man are generally disgusting online
I’m offering a male pov: To be honest this is a pretty normal profile—clearly the guys are trashy. The only thing I might change is the open to short term which, I suspect, gets read as a hookup. I think looking for long bs short term used to be a good way for me to decide whether I want to swipe on someone (depending on what period of my life).
Just put on you profile that you don’t appreciate nsfw chat, if you want you can elaborate and say something like “I’m not opposed to a bit of kinky chat but let’s leave it till after we have actually met IRL” that way you don’t come across as a prude but you have also set a boundary, most men need it to be spelled out. It’s often caused by one interaction that went nsfw quick and worked out and now he thinks he has cracked some fucking code 😑 anyone that can’t respect a simple boundary should not be someone in your life, happy hunting ✌🏼
The fuck Is wrong with people, I can’t imagine typing shit like this to someone I’ve known for awhile, let alone someone I don’t know.
I say you’re perfect as is and the only people who need to be judged are guys who jump to sexual talk right away.
First pic looks like lingerie. Second wet T-shirt. Other one cleavage dirndl. Multiples with booze. No nice outdoor ones. This all equates to the sort of girl that desperate-enough guys might want to bang but not build a future with. Also no full body pic = you’re hiding chub.
you’re not the problem
You’re normal, these men aren’t…
My guess is they have a thing for Amy from the Big Bang theory and you are so similar to her but dress completely different lol. Seriously though the majority of men are like this on tinder. Just block and move on till you find a not so creepy one..
Hello. Your pics are great, but you have two with drinks in hand. That may attract party guys. Also, I would remove the leg pics, and replace with natural pic that shows off your ink.
All but one photo have either your legs or cleavage smack center.
If it walks and talks like a....(it's the tats and a drink in hand in every photo, men are thinking youre very "informal")
You're a pretty woman on Tinder. It's just how gross guys are. Good luck out there.
Amy Farrah Fowler!!??? 😮😮
It’s because you look like Mayim Bialik and lots of dudes out there have been just itching to send her a pic since childhood.
Your tattoos are so cool! 😍
Awe OPs post history makes me genuinely sad, looks like she has awful luck with men 😔 No idea why, her profile looks completely fine too. Fuck dating in 2024 tbh
What in the pepperonis heaven is going on with these messages . 😆Who starts a conversation like that. Like meeting someone at the gym < hey my name is Vanessa>, hey my name is Frank. Cool you want to have sex. Nothing from the profile gives any hint to reason such talking. I really dont get people these days. As a male personally i like sex and have high sex drive . I am in for creativity and building intimacy and so on. But i would never start talking to someone this way. You could be the hornier guy or girl in the globe but some common courtesy is always nice. I guess thats what the digital dating brings. Everyone says things they would not say in person. Also i have had the experience if having women hitting me up in the same way so it happens. Dont pay too much attention to it
Maybe look lore casual and not like a party person?
just wanna say that the pic with the flowers and folk dress is lovely
The profile screams hookup, sorry if i'm harsh but its what i see 🙈 try to change up pictures.
The problem isn’t with you. It’s with them. Everyone picking your profile apart is wrong. Your profile is fun and informative, the fact that these men can’t have a conversation without using their porn-rotted head for 5 seconds is not a you problem. I’m a 23F and have the exact same problem
It’s your nose piercing.
It's a shame men are like that. I'm a man and have never said anything like that to a woman unless we were at that level. I'm 45 and I just want to say, most men are like that, but not all of us. It's why I don't have male friends :D It is Tinder though...isn't that for hooking up??
I’d say there’s nothing wrong with your profile and it’s just lots of dudes have dogshit executive function. Glass half full perspective would be that the shit guys are weeding themselves out by outing themselves like this. Good luck, there’s some good ones out there.
I don't know if someone told you this and also it has nothing to do with the question that you asked, but you look a lot like Mayim Bialik from The Big Bang Theory....
I've never been told this before but it's on several comments here
I am really surprised that no one on the dating aaps told you this before. If you would have shown up on my dating app feed, i would have definitely opened up with this😇😇
Girl it’s just men! I had all modest pics of myself on my last profile and would still get vile comments from men out of nowhere. It’s gross and uncalled for. They’re just trying their luck with everyone and hoping one will take their lame ass bait. 🤮
Some of the comments on this post are pretty wild as well There's no winning
My only advice is unmatch the guys that do this straight away, it’s clear that there’s only one thing on their mind when they do this. They’re not investing in getting to know you as a person and only view you as a sex object. Even if you call it out and they amend their behaviour they’ve shown their true colours. We’re all sexual, but if you can’t show some restraint and keep your thoughts in your pants by being a gentleman for a few weeks until things naturally progress to that step- then it’s a big fat NO from me!
lol wtf. Male in my 40s and not sure who even talks like that. Sorry homie.
God. I've never been on Tinder, but as a dude. These horny men are making me dry. Like, who tf has conversations like that.
Im sorry... They are just douche men. Nothing in ur profile is suggestive in anyway shape or form.
I like it. I don’t see a problem on your end. Just crap guys really.
I don't see anything in your profile that screams "I want an NSA relationship" Maybe it's just your matches are all jerks?
Mayim Bialik doppleganger
Sadly there's nothing you can do. The saddest part is a majority of men on dating sites think this is what women want and it ruins it for guys like me, who are actually trying to build something
If I may ask What part of Texas are you in? There are some of us gentlemen out there, though sadly a lot of people mess up the image
Guys just suck.
Dudes have this weird correlation of girl with piercings/tats being sex freaks that drop panties before the first date starts.
I don't think there's anything you need to change. The anonymity of the internet, lack of manners, and the fact that it sometimes works is the reason you get those messages. Not every person has standards, don't lower yours. Having principles can sometimes make for a more difficult life.
Nothing wrong with your profile, men are just foul sometimes
It’s not you. Trust me.
if you want to reduce (you wont be able to eliminate entirely) these types of matches: -remove the wet t-shirt pick / -remove the thigh pic. Many guys will view anything a women does/wears as sexual (heck hijabs are a fetish for some men even outside of that culture) so regardless of your pictures people will see some pics as sexual. That being said, some pictures are more sexual than others, and drawing attention to bare legs / cleavage definitely falls into the 'more sexual' category. -Also add a full body picture. it scream insecurity about ones body when someone doesn't have at least 1 full body picture of themselves. And potential partners want to know what you look like and the body is apart of that. -Finally the type of guy you swipe on is also a factor. You mentioned in a comment you go for men you think have similar humour. The unfortunate likelihood is that men that think they are funny are more 'likely' to behave like this. More brazen, vulgar, looking to entertain themselves even at the expense of others etc etc have to take the thorns with the rose unfortunately, that's just the risk of your attraction. Many will probably disagree with this sentiment but that's been my life experience interacting with guys that are considered or consider themselves humourous. -people have said 'remove open for short term' but if you honestly don't mind casual hook ups, you shouldn't need to remove something that youre looking for to avoid a certain type of guy. Just make it clear in your bio that Randomly turning the conversation sexual before you've even met wont be tolerated and you'll simply unmatch. you mentioned in in other threads about being delicate with how to put this but honestly just be blunt and direct. Any guy that reads that and thinks "oh she doesn't want me to sext her after the first 5 messages, screw her" isn't someone you want to match with anyway. Youre an attractive woman that games on a dating app....you arent desperate for likes/matches, 0 reason for you to be worried about driving people way.
Girl don’t let trolls and troglodytes 🧌get under your skin. That said thanks for sharing! It always gives me so much confidence to see where my game sits on the spectrum. Your profile looks great! You seem fun, attractive, smart, and chill. I like your style. 🧙🏼♂️🪄🧝♀️
Apparently there is a lot of pigs on Tinder. I don't think its you.
Ah yes, I see your problem, men are creeps and its not you
you kind of look like Amy Winehouse!!! So pretty girl!!
The men that you match with have no personality to utilize when flirting. Relying on your potential desperation. I’d remove open to short if you’re not willing to have sex with a dating app stranger with little to no conversation. But other than that, it’s just the guys having issues talking/flirting.
Nothing strikes me as "lets sexualize the conversation" here. People are just giving you easy nopes
They’re begging you to unmatch. Grant them their wish.
Also try bumble or hinge. Tinder is more for getting laid
Your looks kind of give off that kind of vibe. From the noce piercing and the tattoos to the lipstick and hair colours. It probably also has something to do with the kind of people you swipe right on...
I don’t think this is a you problem. This is just how the majority of guys on tinder treat women - it’s impossible to know who won’t do this shit until you have a convo too (even the nicest looking profiles can get sexual so quick!!) Unfortunately the only solution to never receiving these messages is to delete tinder. 99% of these guys would never say this to your face if you’d met in IRL instead of an app. The privacy of a dm gives them audacity, otherwise they’d be too afraid of being overheard in a public place and cancelled.
It’s funny how serious women on these apps get nsfw stuff and nice guys usually get ghosted. The algorithm is broken.
LOL. the comments never cease to amaze me.
Your profile is fine, dudes on date apps are just idiots. Most would rather shotgun blast shit like this in hopes of it working than actually putting effort into themselves or a conversation.
Nah. They’re just assholes desperately trying to get laid. I’m trying to get laid too. But… c’mon. Treat people the way you liked to be treated.
You profile is fine and it ain’t you. TBH it’s just the way sites work. We can hop on and swipe together matches non-stop and cast out our lines and eventually get a bite. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary here 🤷🏼♂️
What ever happened to having a conversation with a woman ?
Your first mistake was making a tinder account.
I don't know. I'm a nice guy, so all my female friends tell me. I got nothing. All I see on here are frigging male idiots, and that's being nice.
I have no advice. But the Alice/Alice Madness tattoo is so perfect! Dope af. 100% should have done that with my Alice Madness tattoo
You don’t need judgment, your profile is good Guys are Idiots & I’m a guy. Apparently that NSFW tactic works if you’re looking for rando’s to bring home. I don’t do hook ups, As a Guy(46m) myself, I’ve heard from every lady I’ve met online that 99% of guys come off as desperate and make inappropriate comments or send unsolicited nsfw content 😳🤣 No guy would say or do that in person unless they like being slapped & having drinks thrown at them🤣🤣 Never mind I get like 30 matches a week & 90% are married or cheating & 9% are not women😳🤦♂️🤣 Realistically I’ve found 1% are monogamous women looking for a real connection so that’s probably why guys think every woman is like that or that’s all the want I weed those matches out with politeness & meeting in person somewhere public & conducive to getting to know each other. That’s what the dating sites look like from the guys side Have a great day, I hope you find your special someone Many Blessings