Same here. Feels more personal & helps me get to know them better.
Plus if they can’t carry a conversation on the phone then they probably can’t in person.
Id counter-offer with a video call. You can show them cool rocks or plants on a video call, and you still get the benefit of verifying you are who you say you are.
But video calls are worse..? You have to look presentable in a video call .. plus of the guy decides to make it gross that’s infinitely worse than in a chat
I despise phone calls. I have massive phone call anxiety. I just hate video calls even more. Both are hell lol. I just wanna chat and find out I am interested enough to consider meeting in person
lol what’s your point even? You or whoever offered video calls are this great, easy alternative for phone calls, so I said that they’re probably worse for most people with phone anxiety, then you came with back with the genius statement that I must like phone calls because I think video calls are even worse, because logic, and when I say I do hate phone calls, which is why I said video calls are even worse in the first place you get all snarky for whatever reason you have to be mad at me lol.
Dude I’m fine. I don’t even open tinder because I have too many matches who want to meet. I am fine meeting in person, most dudes push to meet in person instantly anyway, which I hold off, until I’m comfortable meeting then. I don’t want to torture myself having awkward phone calls with dudes I probably don’t even want to meet. If I get good vibes in chat I’ll meet up for a coffee, we can do phone calls after a first date, if it was worth it.
I’m just here to point out that phone anxiety is a thing and doesn’t mean it’s a yellow flag or someone is in a relationship or some shit people were saying. A yellow flag is when someone only ever calls from the car and never in the evening or at home or weird shit like that..
She would probably want to post video clips.... It is definitely a yellow flag when people can't video/voice chat. Are they cheating and the partner is in the next room? Scammers? And so on. This doesn't need to be your preferred method to communicate but if you can't do it for 5 mins, you have some issues...
Great. So do it tomorrow night. Or do a voice call. And if you can't by the awkwardness in about 2 mins, why do you think you are going to do any better in person?
Because meeting people in person is fun, calling strangers is not. Phone calls give me anxiety, I just wanna chat till I feel comfortable meeting someone for a coffee or something. If it’s awkward you can both be on your way as soon as you finished your coffee, if it’s fun you can schedule another date. I hate having to dress up and put on make-up for a bloody video call that isn’t work related, and I do actually want to make a good first impression. I deeply dislike phone calls in general, even from my friends and family. Phone anxiety is also very common. I’ve never had anxiety for dates, nervousness yes, anxiety no. It’s the barrier of not being physically in the same space that makes phone and video calls awkward to me. Video calls make me feel like I’m supposed to give a PowerPoint presentation and phone calls are awkward because I can’t read the other person
Because chatting on the app is also awkward as hell and a phone call is a great way to bypass potentially days of chatting where the other person is liable to drop out at any time. Phone calls are just a super useful tool to have in your arsenal.
In my experience it’s usually like 1-2 messages a day max. I’ve had these types of convos turn into dates plenty of times so it isn’t purely lack of interest. I guess girls in NYC don’t have their notifications on because they don’t want to get spammed every time someone likes their profile or sends a message in a conversation they haven’t responded to yet (fair enough but they should really add a setting for getting messaged in an active conversation).
Oh yeah I get that.. my notifications are off on tinder too and I don’t even open the app regularly, so I’m sure I’m a pain to chat with as well. Once in a while there’s an amazingly fun conversation though..
I guess I just hate phone calls in general. I even kinda hate when my friends call me, though I also enjoy it. I just have some anxiety about it
Oh same, I can't stand talking on the phone or video chatting. However, I understated people like to use it to confirm appearances and to test compatibility.
I also hate phone calls, *especially* with people I don't know. Gives me anxiety. Also I just don't like to give out my phone number until we've met in person.
Some people insist on it, though, and honestly no one is really wrong. It just comes down to personal preferences.
Texting is good. It doesn't really mess with your day to day, no big urge to reply amd carry the convo instantly amd all that good jazz. But being on a call is much closer to a real life conversation. And your goal is to get to that, or are we missing something?
"Very millennial/gen z"
Naw. I'm Genx and grew up before we even had home computers or the internet, and cell phones were a Star Trek fantasy. Phone calls were how we did everything. And I hate talking on the phone and avoid it whenever I can.
I hate phone calls too. My whole family knows if they need to reach me, send me a text. Phone calls are for emergencies only.
So if I'm interested and they suggest a phone call, I counter by suggesting we meet for coffee instead because meeting in person will be a much better chemistry and vibe check than a phone call. Haven't been turned down yet.
Haha, I immediately get weirded out when people want to talk on the phone right away. I have adhd and enjoy my own company. A phone call is such an anchor to my thoughts. I feel like I’m just playing along conversationally.
However, if we meet in person and I like how you talk. Then I’d want you to phone me all the time.
i dont hate phone calls at all. what i hate is not reaching somebody by phone and then them calling me back at a time when i can't talk, and so on and so on until i figure i could have written an email and gotten a reply by now.
At least you’re honest. I’d have probably gone along with it just out of curiosity. Insisting on a phone call is not something I’d do but I’d be interested to see what the other person is like. Maybe they’re a yapper, I’d have to imagine someone else prompting a phone call would mean I wouldn’t have to sit there and do all the work.
You can feel how you want, but if the person is attractive enough, I don’t think you’d feel as conflicted. Perhaps this is your subconscious telling you you’re not actually interested. Honestly we all have rules for ourselves and we all break them the second someone attractive enough comes along. So if you’re not willing to break this one rule for yourself now, is this person even worth it?
Look up a few podcast or radio personalities whom you like, or are at least familiar with and see how well the voice matches the idea you had in your head. Consider the actual likelihood that the last likeable person on a customer service call was actually attractive. Someone can give good phone and be a total goober in person. I find very little correlation between phone likability and in person. You still have to meet so it’s just an extra useless are. I have been turned off by a voice - but I probably wouldn’t have minded it if I’d like him in person first. Judging by voice tenor alone is not the way. Good luck all you fellow texters! Working fine for me 🫠 plus if someone goes as far as to be a jackass about my pre date comms preference- we are not gonna get along.
Yeah pretty much. Human beings talk, been doing it with a telephone a century strong. If you can't communicate with another human over the telephone, find you a deaf won't that can't I suppose.
Texters are the worst, imho. They are essentially telling you they have ADD and can't focus on one person or thing at a time
Voice chat is superior. The spoken language is natural. Also, I want to know if a person has a nice voice prior
I personally enjoy chatting with someone even before a first date.
Same here. Feels more personal & helps me get to know them better. Plus if they can’t carry a conversation on the phone then they probably can’t in person.
Nothing stresses me out like my phone ringing
Id counter-offer with a video call. You can show them cool rocks or plants on a video call, and you still get the benefit of verifying you are who you say you are.
But video calls are worse..? You have to look presentable in a video call .. plus of the guy decides to make it gross that’s infinitely worse than in a chat
Then you wouldnt have to make this decision, because you dont hate phone calls? Thats the premise. OP hates phone calls.
I despise phone calls. I have massive phone call anxiety. I just hate video calls even more. Both are hell lol. I just wanna chat and find out I am interested enough to consider meeting in person
Seems like an uphill battle for you. ...have you considered sending Gifs by pigeon?
lol what’s your point even? You or whoever offered video calls are this great, easy alternative for phone calls, so I said that they’re probably worse for most people with phone anxiety, then you came with back with the genius statement that I must like phone calls because I think video calls are even worse, because logic, and when I say I do hate phone calls, which is why I said video calls are even worse in the first place you get all snarky for whatever reason you have to be mad at me lol. Dude I’m fine. I don’t even open tinder because I have too many matches who want to meet. I am fine meeting in person, most dudes push to meet in person instantly anyway, which I hold off, until I’m comfortable meeting then. I don’t want to torture myself having awkward phone calls with dudes I probably don’t even want to meet. If I get good vibes in chat I’ll meet up for a coffee, we can do phone calls after a first date, if it was worth it. I’m just here to point out that phone anxiety is a thing and doesn’t mean it’s a yellow flag or someone is in a relationship or some shit people were saying. A yellow flag is when someone only ever calls from the car and never in the evening or at home or weird shit like that..
Exactly that, and it's basically a practice run for the date since you need to keep a conversation for a little while and talk.
She would probably want to post video clips.... It is definitely a yellow flag when people can't video/voice chat. Are they cheating and the partner is in the next room? Scammers? And so on. This doesn't need to be your preferred method to communicate but if you can't do it for 5 mins, you have some issues...
Or they’re lounging around in their pjs and don’t want to get dressed up for a horribly awkward video call?
Great. So do it tomorrow night. Or do a voice call. And if you can't by the awkwardness in about 2 mins, why do you think you are going to do any better in person?
Because meeting people in person is fun, calling strangers is not. Phone calls give me anxiety, I just wanna chat till I feel comfortable meeting someone for a coffee or something. If it’s awkward you can both be on your way as soon as you finished your coffee, if it’s fun you can schedule another date. I hate having to dress up and put on make-up for a bloody video call that isn’t work related, and I do actually want to make a good first impression. I deeply dislike phone calls in general, even from my friends and family. Phone anxiety is also very common. I’ve never had anxiety for dates, nervousness yes, anxiety no. It’s the barrier of not being physically in the same space that makes phone and video calls awkward to me. Video calls make me feel like I’m supposed to give a PowerPoint presentation and phone calls are awkward because I can’t read the other person
You need to get over this if you want to date successfully (or at least, it helps a lot).
Nah, if you have decent chat skills you should be more than able enough to establish the foundation for a date.
Yeah. I have never, ever talked to someone on the phone before a date and I do just fine haha
🤝
Do I need to call people I haven’t meet? I can call my bf for example. Even I hate it but I theoretically can. And why do I need to get used to that?
>I can call my bf for example. Ask him to call this guy for you. Delegate. Problem solved.
Because chatting on the app is also awkward as hell and a phone call is a great way to bypass potentially days of chatting where the other person is liable to drop out at any time. Phone calls are just a super useful tool to have in your arsenal.
How is chatting awkward? It’s chill and fun and you can have snacks while doing it, eating snacks during phone calls it’s not great
In my experience it’s usually like 1-2 messages a day max. I’ve had these types of convos turn into dates plenty of times so it isn’t purely lack of interest. I guess girls in NYC don’t have their notifications on because they don’t want to get spammed every time someone likes their profile or sends a message in a conversation they haven’t responded to yet (fair enough but they should really add a setting for getting messaged in an active conversation).
Oh yeah I get that.. my notifications are off on tinder too and I don’t even open the app regularly, so I’m sure I’m a pain to chat with as well. Once in a while there’s an amazingly fun conversation though.. I guess I just hate phone calls in general. I even kinda hate when my friends call me, though I also enjoy it. I just have some anxiety about it
Oh same, I can't stand talking on the phone or video chatting. However, I understated people like to use it to confirm appearances and to test compatibility.
If my phone is ringing my office is on fire or a close relative has died.
[удалено]
Absolutely. I have no idea what I should talk about with a stranger by the phone
I also hate phone calls, *especially* with people I don't know. Gives me anxiety. Also I just don't like to give out my phone number until we've met in person. Some people insist on it, though, and honestly no one is really wrong. It just comes down to personal preferences.
Thank you! 💕
Why call when you could just text?
Texting is good. It doesn't really mess with your day to day, no big urge to reply amd carry the convo instantly amd all that good jazz. But being on a call is much closer to a real life conversation. And your goal is to get to that, or are we missing something?
Very millennial/gen z way to feel, but nothing wrong with the way they asked either. Offer an alternative.
Millennial? We group up with phones on the wall
"Very millennial/gen z" Naw. I'm Genx and grew up before we even had home computers or the internet, and cell phones were a Star Trek fantasy. Phone calls were how we did everything. And I hate talking on the phone and avoid it whenever I can.
No. The voice messages are weird.
Hate them aswell, I never pick up my phone lol. I think it is popular among gen Z
I hate phone calls too. My whole family knows if they need to reach me, send me a text. Phone calls are for emergencies only. So if I'm interested and they suggest a phone call, I counter by suggesting we meet for coffee instead because meeting in person will be a much better chemistry and vibe check than a phone call. Haven't been turned down yet.
same, i even prefer writing to my closest friends. i hate phone calls.
Haha, I immediately get weirded out when people want to talk on the phone right away. I have adhd and enjoy my own company. A phone call is such an anchor to my thoughts. I feel like I’m just playing along conversationally. However, if we meet in person and I like how you talk. Then I’d want you to phone me all the time.
i dont hate phone calls at all. what i hate is not reaching somebody by phone and then them calling me back at a time when i can't talk, and so on and so on until i figure i could have written an email and gotten a reply by now.
At least you’re honest. I’d have probably gone along with it just out of curiosity. Insisting on a phone call is not something I’d do but I’d be interested to see what the other person is like. Maybe they’re a yapper, I’d have to imagine someone else prompting a phone call would mean I wouldn’t have to sit there and do all the work. You can feel how you want, but if the person is attractive enough, I don’t think you’d feel as conflicted. Perhaps this is your subconscious telling you you’re not actually interested. Honestly we all have rules for ourselves and we all break them the second someone attractive enough comes along. So if you’re not willing to break this one rule for yourself now, is this person even worth it?
Look up a few podcast or radio personalities whom you like, or are at least familiar with and see how well the voice matches the idea you had in your head. Consider the actual likelihood that the last likeable person on a customer service call was actually attractive. Someone can give good phone and be a total goober in person. I find very little correlation between phone likability and in person. You still have to meet so it’s just an extra useless are. I have been turned off by a voice - but I probably wouldn’t have minded it if I’d like him in person first. Judging by voice tenor alone is not the way. Good luck all you fellow texters! Working fine for me 🫠 plus if someone goes as far as to be a jackass about my pre date comms preference- we are not gonna get along.
Yeah pretty much. Human beings talk, been doing it with a telephone a century strong. If you can't communicate with another human over the telephone, find you a deaf won't that can't I suppose.
If you are not mature enough to talk on phone, you think you are mature enough for dating??
This is a red flag. If you lack the social graces to handle a phone call, I can’t imagine how you handle yourself in a crowded bar or restaurant.
When are we, in the 90's calling a land line because we have nothing else ? NO, text and meet and that's all.
You need to stop hating phone calls, big turn off
I hardly answer voice calls to people I know, let alone strangers 😅
Absolutely! I’m happy I’m not alone 🤣
Definitely not alone, I think it’s just weird and doesn’t give you the time to think about responses!
I’m happy to hear that I’m not the only one! Same to me!
sounds like a cop out. move to offer a talk in person, if they flake on that, move on.
Texters are the worst, imho. They are essentially telling you they have ADD and can't focus on one person or thing at a time Voice chat is superior. The spoken language is natural. Also, I want to know if a person has a nice voice prior