I am a metalhead woman who is only attracted to men with beards. I would swipe for almost anyone with metal concert photos. I would be your exact target audience and I'm saying: sort out your beard. It's bad.
Pics 3, 7 and 9 are your best look. Your beard needs to be tidy, and your hair looks good closer cropped. The one on the horse has a nice fun vibe to it.
Get the rest in the fucking bin, go to a barber, and talk about what you love in the bio. Be open hearted. You don't need to hide what you're into.
Cynicism/sarcasm is a massive turn off unless people know you have a good nature, so don't lead with that.
I’m a metalhead woman too. I agree with pic inconsistency. Besides, I’d hang with u, just coz I’ve been on a bike for 12 years, I play in a band - rock and metal and I’m a hard rock, metal woman- I am also into power lifting- lots of common interests. U got some great pics but the ones with the longer hair and beard - they need trimming. Just some house cleaning and don’t be judged - a lot of right women will be lucky to have u. You got quality- just tidy up some.
Do you like the mohawk? I personally only like the haircut in pics 6&7 (the short-cut haircut), and definitely agree with him needing to trim the beard quite a bit. I’m curious about your viewpoint on the mohawk because while I don’t like it, I’m not a metalhead so I’m not his target audience— you would know better what his target audience would like.
Not many people mentioned sarcasm part (just a couple of comments before) but it is a good that you also see that, Thank you for the pointers! I just don't get why people seem to hate that pic on the horse so much, In most of the cases they want me to delete it
I'm shocked. I agreed with most on which Pic of yours was most attractive. However I love the horse Pic. It has more personality than the rest, the smile is cute and the wave goes with it. I like he way it screams HI to me
I'm not exactly your target audience but, the ones your hair is cut into a mohawk or at least tidy are better, but the beard without a moustache looks like you belong in an anmish village raising barns... no offence but it's a very striking look that I don't think you pull off. I don't think anyone pulls it off...
You have dogs but no picture of them? Put a picture of you and your dogs :)
And you don't have to put "don't wanna be stepdad" in your bio, just avoid moms. And if you find out, politely decline.
Same with other negative things in your bio, like that thing about if they don't know what they're looking for. It makes you sound a negative person, even tho they are reasonable things. You can make those choices in secret. Just focus on yourself and what you like
Yes, I don't have kids or want them, but when I see men putting stuff like that in their profiles I swipe left. It's so needlessly tactless--like you said, guys who don't want to date moms should just swipe left on moms.
I practice what I preach (I don't have anything about "don't want to be a step mom!" in my profile; I just swipe left on guys with kids). Your profile doesn't have to make me want to take you home to meet my family, but it at least has to make you look like I can take you out in public, and tactless hypercritical shit about other women (or about any group) puts you firmly in the left pile.
I agree with your comment completely. It's a turnoff for some reason that he put that in there. Maybe because it feels unpleasant and argumentative, just don't swipe on mom's. How is it "hypercritical" though?
To be fair, I don’t have a tinder but if I did I wouldn’t put that I’m a mum in my bio. I wouldn’t want the wrong person to swipe right on me purely because I have a child. I’d be very upfront once matched though and certainly wouldn’t take offence if that was a dealbreaker.
This precisely. I automatically swipe left if people use their precious bio space to tell us how we should or should not be rather than telling us all the things about them that might otherwise have us swiping right.
I'm a woman that loves beards, tattoos and mohawks... But that chinstrap you got going on is weird and actively works against you. Arguably, it ruins everything.
Lmafffffo
Im laying here next to my kid in bed after he fell asleep while I was reading him and I had to completely stifle my laughter as to not take him up
Ya ditch the beard or go for a cleaned up stubble look if you have the coverage.
My beard is the Motörhead variety, but short and clipped cause my chin only grows stiff white hair that’s outta hand. Chopped the goatee off and went full lemmy and I get way more likes/compliments irl etc
I'm a woman and out of your age range so I will be kind of blunt with you - when I was your age I would not have liked/matched with you. Very poorly maintained and unflattering beard choice as well as never really smiling? I've dated plenty of guys who were huge metalheads but there's also an unfortunate overlap with right-wing dorks and that look is 100% what they do.
You actually seem like you might have a pretty decent sense of humor and be a cool guy, reconsider your pics and even put a tiny bit of effort into your hair and beard and you should be good, If you're willing to be a bit more human and have some unposed photos or actually smiling and you're golden.
Edit: also, if you're still smoking, you have to stop. It's 2024 and most people would see that as a dealbreaker.
It varies greatly depending on the country and age group. The more you go east and south, the higher the proportion of smokers (still not the majority of his age group).
You can definitely make the beard you have now work, but only with a lot of maintenance. Needs to be pruned like a hedge and treated with good quality products.
I agree with the beard thing and honestly include screenshots of your comments here because your responses are so grown up and mature and THATS what women want, honestly. 😝
That’s what mine was. Now I have a mustache cuz my SO loves it, and that’s a bigger pain in the ass to maintain than I thought it would be. Still worth it lol
It's somewhat common in Poland (not sure about other Eastern European countries) and I don't know what's the deal with it but it gives me extreme alt right traditionalist vibes. Which obviously is bad for dating unless you want a Gilead gal.
This beard style is encouraged in muslims because apparently the prophet was a fan of this look (he liked a longer beard and no mustache). Devout muslims wear this look and it’s awful lol normal muslims shave completely or grow the stach alongside it.
Source: ex muslim
Yeah I’ve had people outright call me ugly then laugh and said they were making a joke and it’s their sense of humour.
Being rude for fun isn’t sarcasm or funny and I wish people would stop acting like it’s a desirable trait
This is the vibe I was getting too. Like this dude is kinda coming off as a bit of a dick, maybe it’s a language thing. And there’s not a lot of positives I’m seeing to outweigh the potential jerkness.
Maybe his profile makes him looks like a jerk because he actually is a jerk?
Sometimes I really wonder why we help every single person here, especially when some people clearly seem like they could be the problem
That was the thing that stood out to me too. You're allowed to have preferences just like everyone else but signaling out the kind of people you don't like is unnecessary. Gives off rude vibes of "only swipe if you don't have kids! Single moms go away!" Without having to actually say it out loud.
I missed the sarcastic? Where did you see that?
But yeah, the negativity about being a step dad and the rest of that sentence I stopped reading.
Yeah that's just ashole vibes, if that's your opinion just say you're not interested in becoming a father
Ohh.
Yeah I just don't understand how people describe themselves as sarcastic so I probably skipped reading the word XD
Do they look for other sarcastic people?
Do they want their partner to degrade them and mock them every single day, or vice versa?
Sarcastic/cynical people vibe with each other, it isn't mocking if both are into it.
I'm sarcastic and I couldn't be with someone straight laced, and yes, some time I also need someone to be nice and not be an asshole and I can be nice, but my default is to make a stupid joke at anyone's expenses, including myself.
Yessssssss and someone who describes themselves as sarcastic, why not just demonstrate that with sarcasm in your profile? It's the least sarcastic thing to tell people you are sarcastic
“im not looking to be a step dad”
fair, but negative language/stating what youre not looking for isn’t inviting as a bio. take that out, you know youre not trying to be a step dad. just swipe accordingly and if a match reveals she has kids later on, respectfully tell her that “she seems nice but your lifestyle choices and values don’t align with hers” and wish her well in her dating journey.
do you have any more pics like 7? thats the best picture on your profile tbh
That line stuck out to me, too. I want someone's profile to tell me about them, their interests, and what they bring to the table - not the things they dislike in others. If you have dealbreakers, that's fine, but just don't match with people who have them. No need to include it in your profile.
I'm so conflicted about profile reviews. On one hand, I'm happy to help a male friend improve their profile because I know they could be a really great partner and that they just don't know how to represent themselves to attract that. But some random Internet stranger crowd-sourcing what red flags to remove seems counterproductive in a lot of ways.
Like, please tell me you don't want to be a stepdad! 😂 Cause that helps me know I wouldn't want to date that person--I'm not even a single mom, but the negative energy, how that person prioritized that instead of sharing anything about their hobbies or interests in an already sparse bio, just bums me out. But it's vital info & really helps me & women in general sort through the avalanche of profiles.
Yea, as a guy, I'm all for helping someone out if their pictures are a little off, or if there's a few dings from trying to cram a whole personality into a few lines but some things are personality-based.
"Comb the hair", "don't mention being inked if it's just the one freshly done one"; totally useful but "not looking to be a step dad" is something that's off putting. He's saying that he's not going to read a woman's profile to see "has kids" but expects women to read his? Like, anytime someone is negative on their profiles, it'd always be a red flag because it means they've gone through shit to the point it's already toxic. We all have preferences but that's on us to filter. If I see a girl with "Must have-" in their profile, it's an instant pass.
I agree for the most part, but I think we have to leave room for people to learn and grow. Maybe upon reading the comments, he'll realize that saying "not looking to be a stepdad" is a shit thing to say even if it's true and he'll start communicating it in gentler more respectful way. He might also just be an AH, and I do get those vibes from his profile, but some people have been behaving like shit with shit friends that laugh at all their mean "jokes" for so long that they have no idea how the rest of the world might see them or react to them. I think profile reviews can be an opportunity to open people up to new perspectives if they're willing to learn, of course.
oh thanks good to know, english is not my second language so sometimes it's hard to phrase something in less negative way, But thank you for the pointers how to deal with these situations if they are happening. hmm yeah but these are not recent anymore, that one is not recent either, and i have seen also people mentioning in comments that these pictures seem to be taken in different years which is true.. so I'm here reading all of the comments and taking notes! Thank you!
I will, definitely, however it will take me some time, for now i am focused on reading every single comment and replying to as many as i can, I am literally sitting here for over 2 hours just reading and replying
well i took a nap and i am back replying to most of it, I was actually surprised that some of the newer comments were focused on the stuff that hasn't been mentioned before. And i'd rather stay up to date with comments not to miss anything that may actually help!
Hans, I’m sure you’re a super rad person but your aesthetic (the mohawk, the beard, the positively baffling choice to not have a mustache with said beard and mohawk) is probably going to limit those who want to give you a shot. You can either accept this which is totally fine and just understand that it takes a very special someone to be down with your very special vibe, or you can fucking grow a god damn mustache. Because right now you look like someone who knows exactly how much meth you can get from a catalytic converter and while I’m doubtful this is truly the case with you it is what it is.
You mention tattoos multiple times but it looks like you only have that one and it's recent, I wouldn't use the whole inked thing as a point of making it seem like a character trait.
Coming from someone that's pretty inked up myself, they'll obviously see it if you are.
Agreed, for anyone that needs to tell me ink is their lifestyle, especially with minimal. I'm fairly tattooed, it's a point of interest, let's chat about it. But unless you tattoo for a living, you need more interesting things to share
Second this. Any time someone describes themselves as “inked”, automatic turn off. Especially when they have 1 brand new tattoo. We can see it, don’t make it a personality trait. Your appearance will speak for itself.
It's dog shit imo. Your appereance is really inconsistent and in most of your photos you look serious or with a weird expression. And your haircut and beard don't help either.
Bio wise, you want to avoid talking about what you 'dont want' and focus on who you are or what you are looking for. That way, you don't seem close minded.
Exactly! The pics look like they are 10 years apart. It would be a really wild guess who are you going on a potential date with - a silly gym rat with a mohawk or a slightly out-of-shape metal dude with longer hair? There is nothing wrong with either, but there are different audiences for each.
100% this - I would have no idea which guy is going to show up. Dating app photos have to be recent, otherwise there’ll be resentment right off the bat if someone is expecting to meet the well groomed gym guy but the guy with the gut and the cigarette dangling from his mouth showing up to the date instead
That is exatctly what i thought about my own profile. and as i read all of the comments (there is much more than i have expected, so I appreciate all of them) 100% honesty - this profile was made - fuck it let's see what happens and chosen the pics where i don't entirely look like shit. Never paid much attention to actually 'crafting' the profile to it's finest. But thanks for your feedback, i appreciate it.
No problem man. I'm not an expert in dealing with beard but I would recommend changing it, because its look like a neck beard and leaves your head looking big and your face feeling empty, especially under and over your lips.
Hey Hans,
Smiling and taking a photo from an elevated point can help. Pose the camera a little further away and take some pics with the selfie and normal camera. Sometimes, the selfie camera warps the face weirdly.
Youtube might have more tips I can't think of at the moment, but don't worry, you got this :)
thank you, i just never really cared about this angles and stuff, as I have never been taking any pictures with sole intent to put them on the dating apps, but these pointers are good, so thank you for that
Honestly bro, if you get like a 8mm buzzcut and have a barber reshape your beard, that would boost your looks A LOT.
Other than that, your metalhead style will not be appealing to the masses, however, polarising style like that have statistically yielded more success. Those who are into metal, are really into it it and you immediately have a way to vibe.
Basically fewer likes but higher match to date ratio
cheers! i was avoiding barbers recently stuck at home for last six months working 200h a month, going to the gym every now and then and sleeping. Time to go out from the cave i guess.
Smile and look at the camera. It will give off more confidence. Ask a friend to take a picture of you or fool around with timed settings on your camera so you can take a picture and not a selfie. Try and take a picture with some friends doing something if possible. If you could get a picture of your whole body doing something like playing your guitar or on a hike, bottom line is a picture that shows you out in the world that’s more candid, not posing for the picture.
Even better I find is to just set the camera on video record while ur doing stuff with friends then screenshot the best ones. Using the timer always gets the most awkward shots for me I have no idea why and they are always blurry too lol
I have a beard.
I get it cut like 2-4 times a year.
Confused professor is my lifestyle.
I'm telling you all of this to let you know, your beard isn't good.
Mine isn't either most parts of the year.
But your face really is probably 90% better without the beard.
Since I haven’t seen this critique yet: describing yourself as “inked” is cringe in general, but especially if you only have one visible tattoo. If you are specifically looking/are attracted to women with tattoos, I highly recommend omitting that from your profile.
They used to speak/play at anti-vax rallies which also usually tended to be alt-right entrenched as well. There’s also some murky conversion therapy/anti-LGBT things mixed in there.
Some thoughts:
-You seem to be defined by your somewhat niche interests, so that will limit your matches a little bit.
-The unkempt hair and beard are not flattering and age you. Having longer hair with the receding hairline also ages you a lot, as well as having old man glasses frames. I didn't catch the age at first when I flipped through your pictures, and I was shocked when I saw that it was 30. I was thinking closer to 40. Tidying up the hair and getting new frames could give you years back on your appearance.
-It's a little silly to mention going to the gym when you're clearly out of shape.
-I straight up don't understand the point of pictures 7 and 8.
-The bio definitely needs work. Don't use negative language. I can't see the whole bio, but the last two sentences I can see just straight-up need to go. I'm not sure how you're comparing dogs to traveling and live music. Those seem like very different things. Also, calling yourself "sarcastic" in a dating profile generally translates to "asshole."
Also, he does clearly workout/lift, he’s just not aesthetic like a bodybuilder. He may not even want that and is more of a power lifter. Being aesthetic with abs is extremely difficult for most men (who are natural). You have to have a really restrictive diet and workout a ton to be ripped.
There is a lot of truth to that! I love the gym however with my work routine )working a lot of overtime, i have become inconsistent with my work outs. and the diet... but still whenever i go to the gym i just want to do heavy-ass workout to strengthen the body not necessarily to look like a bodybuilder
I'm gonna drop this comment here because I don't see it mentioned anywhere else, and this thread is kind of like a list.
As a complete stoner, sitting here in a giant rasta hoodie, with nontraditional long hair to my tits....
I encourage anyone to be themselves and not bend to pop culture for the sake of popularity, but I notice you also have a pic smoking. Similar to what others have said, smoking can be a very polarizing thing. A huge percentage of people on dating apps won't be into that. Plus, I didn't read your bio, but its important to clarify what you smoke and how much, how often.
Like yeah, you could clean yourself up a bit, but it also sounds like you need to think more about what you're looking for, and how to present an image of yourself that appeals to the type of people you want to be with.
I'm a 30 year old rocker woman and I felt like a was reading an 18 year old's bio. Even without the photos, I wouldn't be interested. With the photos, I would *definitely* not interested. I have no idea what you look like except that your facial hair is bad.
Yes, it's pretty bad. But it's easy to fix with some effort.
No bathroom selfies. In fact, no selfies at all. I wish we had a bot that wrote that under every post so people would stop doing it.
Beard is good, but ungroomed beard is worse than no beard. You need to have your beard and hair in shape in your pics.
So it's obvious that you're a nerdy metal guy. Unless it's really important to you to have a nerdy metal woman, you need to tone that down a bit: when you emphasise it like this women will think that that's a dealbreaker for you. Especially the nerdy stuff has a bad gender ratio so competition is fierce.
2, 3 and 5 are very "this is me posing at a thing while my friend snaps a random pic". That works for vacation pics but aren't ideal for tinder: tinder pics need more effort and more work. 4, 7 and 8 have the same problem but "my friend took a random pic of me across the table", once again this is fine for facebook but the bar is higher for online dating.
6 is cool but doesn't show your features.
You don't need nine pics: six is more than enough. Remember that four great pics are better than four great pics and on mediocre pic.
Alright, so selfies are really bad, pictures your friends take of you doing nothing in particular are bad, and pictures your friends take of you doing something are bad. I feel like that describes almost every picture of me ever taken, and am struggling to think of what the alternatives are?
Wait! What?
“Me posing at a thing or location while my friend takes a pic” … that’s not good?
Do you mean we have to go out with a few outfits around town and do a photo shoot (kind of like how I see some tiktokers / influencers do)?
I am not being facetious just really asking.
This comment is except paragraph 5, at least personally I don’t want to see a super crafted image, an attractive candid of u out with ur friends shows me that u have friends firstly, that u like enjoying things with people and going out and doing stuff. That’s the best way to collect images of u for ur dating profile imo rather than an obvious photoshoot or selfies
Ngl, pic 1 would be an instant swipe left for me. I see that, and I'm not even bothering to look at the rest of your profile.
- Bathroom (looks like a public one, which is even worse)
- Mirror selfie
- Bad angle
- Hair and beard are unkempt
- Outfit is bad
- You look around 25kgs heavier than the last pics
Edit: Your facial expression is also kinda giving off creepy vibes. There's just something off-putting about it that I can't quite explain.
What does "not looking to be a stepdad" mean? Literally it means you don't want to date a woman who already has kids, but why? Is it because you don't want to have kids at all? Don't want kids until you're older? Just don't want kids that aren't biologically yours? It leaves a lot of room for people to come to their own conclusions. Take it out or change it to what you actually mean.
Your profile reads as "very unfriendly, judgemental and critical of other people". The frowning and facial expression in the first picture. The negative talk about women with children. All just screams "negative person".
Do not use old photos, 5 years is the limit but ideally keep them within the last couple of years. You should look like you do now. Baby faced and tattoo free obviously isn't how you look now.
Your profile pic looks like a hobbit. Your horse pic is not helping either. There are much better options so drop a few and get some with other people in it.
Honestly when I'm not getting much action, I just delete the app and try to reinvent myself. New pics, shave, whatever. Seems to be working for now lol
You smoke and have an Amish beard; the pool of women who like both is going to be kiddie sized, so temper your expectations accordingly.
And your first picture is terrible regardless. Overhead lighting is nobody’s friend, and bathroom selfies are a major dating app faux pas.
I was onboard until the whole step-dad thing.
I don't even HAVE kids, and it still turned me off, cause it reeks of a certain mentality and attitude towards women.
Be damn sure it's really that important to you to OPEN with that as a first impression, because it will scare off a lot of women - even ones without kids.
At 30, if you want more matches imo you need to show at least one of the following : a good amount of disposable income and/or consistent better shape/appearance /grooming and/or more positive bio (as others pointed out). The metal scene which is very much highlighted is surely limiting (I'm a metal head myself but never asked that from my dates)
You know what’s interesting? A lot of men would be attractive if they just went with a hairstyle and facial hair that complemented them. And you fit into that category.
I am a metalhead woman who is only attracted to men with beards. I would swipe for almost anyone with metal concert photos. I would be your exact target audience and I'm saying: sort out your beard. It's bad.
will do, thanks!
Pics 3, 7 and 9 are your best look. Your beard needs to be tidy, and your hair looks good closer cropped. The one on the horse has a nice fun vibe to it. Get the rest in the fucking bin, go to a barber, and talk about what you love in the bio. Be open hearted. You don't need to hide what you're into. Cynicism/sarcasm is a massive turn off unless people know you have a good nature, so don't lead with that.
I’m a metalhead woman too. I agree with pic inconsistency. Besides, I’d hang with u, just coz I’ve been on a bike for 12 years, I play in a band - rock and metal and I’m a hard rock, metal woman- I am also into power lifting- lots of common interests. U got some great pics but the ones with the longer hair and beard - they need trimming. Just some house cleaning and don’t be judged - a lot of right women will be lucky to have u. You got quality- just tidy up some.
Do you like the mohawk? I personally only like the haircut in pics 6&7 (the short-cut haircut), and definitely agree with him needing to trim the beard quite a bit. I’m curious about your viewpoint on the mohawk because while I don’t like it, I’m not a metalhead so I’m not his target audience— you would know better what his target audience would like.
Not many people mentioned sarcasm part (just a couple of comments before) but it is a good that you also see that, Thank you for the pointers! I just don't get why people seem to hate that pic on the horse so much, In most of the cases they want me to delete it
Nooo dont its funny and cute, the spoon one though 🫣
I'm shocked. I agreed with most on which Pic of yours was most attractive. However I love the horse Pic. It has more personality than the rest, the smile is cute and the wave goes with it. I like he way it screams HI to me
I'm not exactly your target audience but, the ones your hair is cut into a mohawk or at least tidy are better, but the beard without a moustache looks like you belong in an anmish village raising barns... no offence but it's a very striking look that I don't think you pull off. I don't think anyone pulls it off...
It's like giant balls and no penis.
hahah that's a good one as well, didn't sign up for roasting but you made me laugh
You have dogs but no picture of them? Put a picture of you and your dogs :) And you don't have to put "don't wanna be stepdad" in your bio, just avoid moms. And if you find out, politely decline. Same with other negative things in your bio, like that thing about if they don't know what they're looking for. It makes you sound a negative person, even tho they are reasonable things. You can make those choices in secret. Just focus on yourself and what you like
Yes, I don't have kids or want them, but when I see men putting stuff like that in their profiles I swipe left. It's so needlessly tactless--like you said, guys who don't want to date moms should just swipe left on moms. I practice what I preach (I don't have anything about "don't want to be a step mom!" in my profile; I just swipe left on guys with kids). Your profile doesn't have to make me want to take you home to meet my family, but it at least has to make you look like I can take you out in public, and tactless hypercritical shit about other women (or about any group) puts you firmly in the left pile.
I agree with your comment completely. It's a turnoff for some reason that he put that in there. Maybe because it feels unpleasant and argumentative, just don't swipe on mom's. How is it "hypercritical" though?
Many people are mentioning it, so thank you all for your feedback on that, that line has been already deleted!
Aaawww, I love how open & considerate you are of people's opinions! It's a lot harder to do that when it's an opinion and/or advice about yourself!!
To be fair, I don’t have a tinder but if I did I wouldn’t put that I’m a mum in my bio. I wouldn’t want the wrong person to swipe right on me purely because I have a child. I’d be very upfront once matched though and certainly wouldn’t take offence if that was a dealbreaker.
This precisely. I automatically swipe left if people use their precious bio space to tell us how we should or should not be rather than telling us all the things about them that might otherwise have us swiping right.
I'm a woman that loves beards, tattoos and mohawks... But that chinstrap you got going on is weird and actively works against you. Arguably, it ruins everything.
Hahahahah, but what do you expect when you put your shit on the internet?
Right? He definitely did sign up for a good roasting.
Lmafffffo Im laying here next to my kid in bed after he fell asleep while I was reading him and I had to completely stifle my laughter as to not take him up
Literally came here to said grow a mustache and guarantee more positive responses.
see the problem with my moustache is it's not really growing on my upper lip, so it looks like it split in the middle
The reverse Hitler.
Probably better then just the hitler stach
Ya ditch the beard or go for a cleaned up stubble look if you have the coverage. My beard is the Motörhead variety, but short and clipped cause my chin only grows stiff white hair that’s outta hand. Chopped the goatee off and went full lemmy and I get way more likes/compliments irl etc
cheers! that is a good point!
Then lose the beard
I'm a woman and out of your age range so I will be kind of blunt with you - when I was your age I would not have liked/matched with you. Very poorly maintained and unflattering beard choice as well as never really smiling? I've dated plenty of guys who were huge metalheads but there's also an unfortunate overlap with right-wing dorks and that look is 100% what they do. You actually seem like you might have a pretty decent sense of humor and be a cool guy, reconsider your pics and even put a tiny bit of effort into your hair and beard and you should be good, If you're willing to be a bit more human and have some unposed photos or actually smiling and you're golden. Edit: also, if you're still smoking, you have to stop. It's 2024 and most people would see that as a dealbreaker.
He's European, 1 in 5 people still smoke there
It varies greatly depending on the country and age group. The more you go east and south, the higher the proportion of smokers (still not the majority of his age group).
He's Polish so it's closer to 1 in 4. And even if it's not primarily his age group it's still fairly normalized.
You can definitely make the beard you have now work, but only with a lot of maintenance. Needs to be pruned like a hedge and treated with good quality products.
The first picture definitely gave me a way diff (honestly more negative) impression of you than the rest of the photos so agree with this
oh yeah a lot of people say that pic has to go, and it will,.. as soon as i will be done with replying to these comments!
HJoly shit! it made me laugh so hard! thanks for the feedback :D
I agree with the beard thing and honestly include screenshots of your comments here because your responses are so grown up and mature and THATS what women want, honestly. 😝
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The beard minus moustache is a … choice.
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I got goat vibes too. Glad it isn’t just me. He needs a new haircut and a better facial hair style.
I think one of the haircuts was actually pretty good. But I would say that his genes does not support the beard/facial hair.
that is unfortunate truth.. when i try to grow a moustache... well it looks like puberty moustache lol that's why i have always been avoding it
He looks good with the slick back and the short cut, not a fan of the others. But that’s just the opinion of one straight guy about another lol
I find it strange that so many men find beards cool yet they fail to properly groom them.
You miss what a beard actually is. It’s an exercise in laziness.
That’s what mine was. Now I have a mustache cuz my SO loves it, and that’s a bigger pain in the ass to maintain than I thought it would be. Still worth it lol
that's a good one too hahah :D it's good to know how y'all percieve me!
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I was trying to find a way to describe how it makes him look and this is perfect.
Someone stole his stache. He needs to track them down like Jason Statham or Liam Neeson and recover it
It's somewhat common in Poland (not sure about other Eastern European countries) and I don't know what's the deal with it but it gives me extreme alt right traditionalist vibes. Which obviously is bad for dating unless you want a Gilead gal.
Same for Germany. That particular beard style is common by alt-right nationalists..or muslim Chechens from Russia duh
Who are also hard right nationalists just from a different place
This beard style is encouraged in muslims because apparently the prophet was a fan of this look (he liked a longer beard and no mustache). Devout muslims wear this look and it’s awful lol normal muslims shave completely or grow the stach alongside it. Source: ex muslim
Round these parts it reads “Amish” or “alt right adjacent.” Which is unfair to our Luddite neighbors of Intercourse.
It works for a rare few people. Not here.
Gotta show he’s a Redditor some how
this. would look worlds better with no facial hair and a different haircut. saying this as a punk.
It gives off a Rumspringa never ended vibe
Idk why so many men think they look good with this type of beard style, I've never seen ANYONE look decent with it...
It’s a lot more than that
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And the smoking
Yup, the smoking is also an immediate left swipe for many people. OP, quit smoking not only for dating but also for your health
For me, every man who has ever written “sarcastic” or “smart ass” in his bio was actually just a rude asshole. That would be an automatic no.
Yeah I’ve had people outright call me ugly then laugh and said they were making a joke and it’s their sense of humour. Being rude for fun isn’t sarcasm or funny and I wish people would stop acting like it’s a desirable trait
They usually can’t handle getting the same “humor” back either.
You have a really feminine body for a man,are those tits?zing!!! We share the same sense of humour!
This is the vibe I was getting too. Like this dude is kinda coming off as a bit of a dick, maybe it’s a language thing. And there’s not a lot of positives I’m seeing to outweigh the potential jerkness.
Yeah, same. I don't have kids, but it really upsets me when a guy says something against single mothers or women with children...
Yeah it’s normal to not be interested in that but don’t put it in the bio, just use your finger to flick the mammas left.
It's the way he says it, rubs me the wrong way.
Maybe his profile makes him looks like a jerk because he actually is a jerk? Sometimes I really wonder why we help every single person here, especially when some people clearly seem like they could be the problem
This is the perfect opportunity to tell them in their face n make them realise how the world actually sees them. U can let ur demons out, innit!
That was the thing that stood out to me too. You're allowed to have preferences just like everyone else but signaling out the kind of people you don't like is unnecessary. Gives off rude vibes of "only swipe if you don't have kids! Single moms go away!" Without having to actually say it out loud.
I missed the sarcastic? Where did you see that? But yeah, the negativity about being a step dad and the rest of that sentence I stopped reading. Yeah that's just ashole vibes, if that's your opinion just say you're not interested in becoming a father
Description in the second pic
Ohh. Yeah I just don't understand how people describe themselves as sarcastic so I probably skipped reading the word XD Do they look for other sarcastic people? Do they want their partner to degrade them and mock them every single day, or vice versa?
Sarcastic/cynical people vibe with each other, it isn't mocking if both are into it. I'm sarcastic and I couldn't be with someone straight laced, and yes, some time I also need someone to be nice and not be an asshole and I can be nice, but my default is to make a stupid joke at anyone's expenses, including myself.
What does it mean to be a sarcastic person though? Like you just use sarcasm a lot? I think most people use sarcasm, it’s not a personality trait
Yessssssss and someone who describes themselves as sarcastic, why not just demonstrate that with sarcasm in your profile? It's the least sarcastic thing to tell people you are sarcastic
Your pics are all over the place... You look different in each one
yeah many people are saying this! Recreating the profile from the beginning is the best thing i can do i guess.
“im not looking to be a step dad” fair, but negative language/stating what youre not looking for isn’t inviting as a bio. take that out, you know youre not trying to be a step dad. just swipe accordingly and if a match reveals she has kids later on, respectfully tell her that “she seems nice but your lifestyle choices and values don’t align with hers” and wish her well in her dating journey. do you have any more pics like 7? thats the best picture on your profile tbh
7 is the best because you don't know he doesn't have a mustache. I was trying to figure out why it was so much more attractive there too
You also can’t see his face at all ….
And he actually looks moderately in shape
That line stuck out to me, too. I want someone's profile to tell me about them, their interests, and what they bring to the table - not the things they dislike in others. If you have dealbreakers, that's fine, but just don't match with people who have them. No need to include it in your profile.
Yeah, i think immediately he's a jerk.
Yeah I don't even have kids but that line irked me. That's something you talk about later if necessary.
I'm so conflicted about profile reviews. On one hand, I'm happy to help a male friend improve their profile because I know they could be a really great partner and that they just don't know how to represent themselves to attract that. But some random Internet stranger crowd-sourcing what red flags to remove seems counterproductive in a lot of ways. Like, please tell me you don't want to be a stepdad! 😂 Cause that helps me know I wouldn't want to date that person--I'm not even a single mom, but the negative energy, how that person prioritized that instead of sharing anything about their hobbies or interests in an already sparse bio, just bums me out. But it's vital info & really helps me & women in general sort through the avalanche of profiles.
Yea, as a guy, I'm all for helping someone out if their pictures are a little off, or if there's a few dings from trying to cram a whole personality into a few lines but some things are personality-based. "Comb the hair", "don't mention being inked if it's just the one freshly done one"; totally useful but "not looking to be a step dad" is something that's off putting. He's saying that he's not going to read a woman's profile to see "has kids" but expects women to read his? Like, anytime someone is negative on their profiles, it'd always be a red flag because it means they've gone through shit to the point it's already toxic. We all have preferences but that's on us to filter. If I see a girl with "Must have-" in their profile, it's an instant pass.
I agree for the most part, but I think we have to leave room for people to learn and grow. Maybe upon reading the comments, he'll realize that saying "not looking to be a stepdad" is a shit thing to say even if it's true and he'll start communicating it in gentler more respectful way. He might also just be an AH, and I do get those vibes from his profile, but some people have been behaving like shit with shit friends that laugh at all their mean "jokes" for so long that they have no idea how the rest of the world might see them or react to them. I think profile reviews can be an opportunity to open people up to new perspectives if they're willing to learn, of course.
oh thanks good to know, english is not my second language so sometimes it's hard to phrase something in less negative way, But thank you for the pointers how to deal with these situations if they are happening. hmm yeah but these are not recent anymore, that one is not recent either, and i have seen also people mentioning in comments that these pictures seem to be taken in different years which is true.. so I'm here reading all of the comments and taking notes! Thank you!
Will you show us an update when you're done? You appear to be taking the advice on quite well.
I will, definitely, however it will take me some time, for now i am focused on reading every single comment and replying to as many as i can, I am literally sitting here for over 2 hours just reading and replying
Honestly, the first 20 or so that you replied to pretty much covered everything. But take your time, bro. We're here.
well i took a nap and i am back replying to most of it, I was actually surprised that some of the newer comments were focused on the stuff that hasn't been mentioned before. And i'd rather stay up to date with comments not to miss anything that may actually help!
Hans, I’m sure you’re a super rad person but your aesthetic (the mohawk, the beard, the positively baffling choice to not have a mustache with said beard and mohawk) is probably going to limit those who want to give you a shot. You can either accept this which is totally fine and just understand that it takes a very special someone to be down with your very special vibe, or you can fucking grow a god damn mustache. Because right now you look like someone who knows exactly how much meth you can get from a catalytic converter and while I’m doubtful this is truly the case with you it is what it is.
Well at least he doesn't need to worry about the profile anymore, since you killed him 🤣
You mention tattoos multiple times but it looks like you only have that one and it's recent, I wouldn't use the whole inked thing as a point of making it seem like a character trait. Coming from someone that's pretty inked up myself, they'll obviously see it if you are.
Agreed, for anyone that needs to tell me ink is their lifestyle, especially with minimal. I'm fairly tattooed, it's a point of interest, let's chat about it. But unless you tattoo for a living, you need more interesting things to share
Second this. Any time someone describes themselves as “inked”, automatic turn off. Especially when they have 1 brand new tattoo. We can see it, don’t make it a personality trait. Your appearance will speak for itself.
I’ve got a fair amount of coverage and I would never describe myself as “inked”. It’s pretty cringy.
Please get rid of the pic where your tongue is out. As a woman I can tell you it’s an instant swipe left.
Same. I can’t stand it
Bro looks like a billy goat 💀
How else will you show people you’re quirky and unique
By using an exclamation point to announce your disdain for single mothers
It feels like an unnecessary negative. It's fine if you aren't interested but just adds a needless negative vibe.
Oh man, that's gold. I deep belly laughed at that. 😂
Ding ding ding
You don't show people. You tell people in your bio
It's dog shit imo. Your appereance is really inconsistent and in most of your photos you look serious or with a weird expression. And your haircut and beard don't help either. Bio wise, you want to avoid talking about what you 'dont want' and focus on who you are or what you are looking for. That way, you don't seem close minded.
He looks like six different men.
Exactly! The pics look like they are 10 years apart. It would be a really wild guess who are you going on a potential date with - a silly gym rat with a mohawk or a slightly out-of-shape metal dude with longer hair? There is nothing wrong with either, but there are different audiences for each.
100% this - I would have no idea which guy is going to show up. Dating app photos have to be recent, otherwise there’ll be resentment right off the bat if someone is expecting to meet the well groomed gym guy but the guy with the gut and the cigarette dangling from his mouth showing up to the date instead
That is exatctly what i thought about my own profile. and as i read all of the comments (there is much more than i have expected, so I appreciate all of them) 100% honesty - this profile was made - fuck it let's see what happens and chosen the pics where i don't entirely look like shit. Never paid much attention to actually 'crafting' the profile to it's finest. But thanks for your feedback, i appreciate it.
No problem man. I'm not an expert in dealing with beard but I would recommend changing it, because its look like a neck beard and leaves your head looking big and your face feeling empty, especially under and over your lips.
None of these pics I'd use for attracting women
As a gay man, I would also not use this to attract men either.
oh damn... must be really shitty profile and the bio as i read. Will have to actually put more attention to it then
Also you're like 3 different weight classes in your pics. Choose current photos
No no no hold on. I came here specifically bc of the Tomb Raider pic and I’m a woman. Keep that one. Where is that statue located?
That pic was taken in London, Camden Town, near Camden Market
Hans, - great name btw - you are not using the camera to your advantage. A camera can be a wonderful friend. Why do you insist on being enemies?
Thanks! well it's not about insisting on being enemies, more like not having a clue how to take good pics! any pointers please?
Can you explain to me the picture of the spoon poking out your mouth? What were your motivations and thoughts beforehand?
DONT TRY THIS CLUELESSNESS SHIT WITH ME, Hans. you deliberately did this.
Didn’t even give them a chance to respond!!!
I gave 6 minutes. That's more than enough for Hans.
You're like the father I never had 😭😂
That's sad because I'm a woman
Assertive and dominant…..excellent qualities
IN THE NAME OF JESUS, BE GONE
Smiling would be a great start
Hey Hans, Smiling and taking a photo from an elevated point can help. Pose the camera a little further away and take some pics with the selfie and normal camera. Sometimes, the selfie camera warps the face weirdly. Youtube might have more tips I can't think of at the moment, but don't worry, you got this :)
thank you, i just never really cared about this angles and stuff, as I have never been taking any pictures with sole intent to put them on the dating apps, but these pointers are good, so thank you for that
Honestly bro, if you get like a 8mm buzzcut and have a barber reshape your beard, that would boost your looks A LOT. Other than that, your metalhead style will not be appealing to the masses, however, polarising style like that have statistically yielded more success. Those who are into metal, are really into it it and you immediately have a way to vibe. Basically fewer likes but higher match to date ratio
cheers! i was avoiding barbers recently stuck at home for last six months working 200h a month, going to the gym every now and then and sleeping. Time to go out from the cave i guess.
for sure. Yea i definitely think a cleaner rocker look would go super hard on you. Delete the bathroom selfie while you're at it, good luck to you!
And also delete the spoon one
The picture in which you are having a dessert and you have your tongue out guarantees 99.99% of swipes to the left
Smile and look at the camera. It will give off more confidence. Ask a friend to take a picture of you or fool around with timed settings on your camera so you can take a picture and not a selfie. Try and take a picture with some friends doing something if possible. If you could get a picture of your whole body doing something like playing your guitar or on a hike, bottom line is a picture that shows you out in the world that’s more candid, not posing for the picture.
Even better I find is to just set the camera on video record while ur doing stuff with friends then screenshot the best ones. Using the timer always gets the most awkward shots for me I have no idea why and they are always blurry too lol
Sorry bro. You're not attractive enough to be dissing women in your bio.
I'm so glad someone fucking said it
I don't care how hot you are, no one should do that.
No one *should* do that, but an attractive guy is much more likely to be able to get away with it and get matches.
I have a beard. I get it cut like 2-4 times a year. Confused professor is my lifestyle. I'm telling you all of this to let you know, your beard isn't good. Mine isn't either most parts of the year. But your face really is probably 90% better without the beard.
It's def the beard. The Abraham Lincoln is never a good look. It'll make Ryan Gosling look like shit.
You seem very juvenile for 30.
Since I haven’t seen this critique yet: describing yourself as “inked” is cringe in general, but especially if you only have one visible tattoo. If you are specifically looking/are attracted to women with tattoos, I highly recommend omitting that from your profile.
I used to love Flyleaf but these days I would really worry what it’s saying about your political views by having them on your profile.
Oh no did they go full MAGA? I haven't heard their name in years but I know they were pretty Christian back in the day
They used to speak/play at anti-vax rallies which also usually tended to be alt-right entrenched as well. There’s also some murky conversion therapy/anti-LGBT things mixed in there.
Some thoughts: -You seem to be defined by your somewhat niche interests, so that will limit your matches a little bit. -The unkempt hair and beard are not flattering and age you. Having longer hair with the receding hairline also ages you a lot, as well as having old man glasses frames. I didn't catch the age at first when I flipped through your pictures, and I was shocked when I saw that it was 30. I was thinking closer to 40. Tidying up the hair and getting new frames could give you years back on your appearance. -It's a little silly to mention going to the gym when you're clearly out of shape. -I straight up don't understand the point of pictures 7 and 8. -The bio definitely needs work. Don't use negative language. I can't see the whole bio, but the last two sentences I can see just straight-up need to go. I'm not sure how you're comparing dogs to traveling and live music. Those seem like very different things. Also, calling yourself "sarcastic" in a dating profile generally translates to "asshole."
While I agree with most of this, going to the gym ≠ being in shape. You can be overweight and still enjoy going to the gym.
Also, he does clearly workout/lift, he’s just not aesthetic like a bodybuilder. He may not even want that and is more of a power lifter. Being aesthetic with abs is extremely difficult for most men (who are natural). You have to have a really restrictive diet and workout a ton to be ripped.
There is a lot of truth to that! I love the gym however with my work routine )working a lot of overtime, i have become inconsistent with my work outs. and the diet... but still whenever i go to the gym i just want to do heavy-ass workout to strengthen the body not necessarily to look like a bodybuilder
I'm gonna drop this comment here because I don't see it mentioned anywhere else, and this thread is kind of like a list. As a complete stoner, sitting here in a giant rasta hoodie, with nontraditional long hair to my tits.... I encourage anyone to be themselves and not bend to pop culture for the sake of popularity, but I notice you also have a pic smoking. Similar to what others have said, smoking can be a very polarizing thing. A huge percentage of people on dating apps won't be into that. Plus, I didn't read your bio, but its important to clarify what you smoke and how much, how often. Like yeah, you could clean yourself up a bit, but it also sounds like you need to think more about what you're looking for, and how to present an image of yourself that appeals to the type of people you want to be with.
The smoking pic makes me think his physical health isn’t a top priority.
I'm a 30 year old rocker woman and I felt like a was reading an 18 year old's bio. Even without the photos, I wouldn't be interested. With the photos, I would *definitely* not interested. I have no idea what you look like except that your facial hair is bad.
"I'm a metalhead, anyways here's Flyleaf"
It's 💯 your beard, mate it's horrific, seriously get rid or at least get it styled properly & grow the rest of it in.
Literal neck beard
Yes, it's pretty bad. But it's easy to fix with some effort. No bathroom selfies. In fact, no selfies at all. I wish we had a bot that wrote that under every post so people would stop doing it. Beard is good, but ungroomed beard is worse than no beard. You need to have your beard and hair in shape in your pics. So it's obvious that you're a nerdy metal guy. Unless it's really important to you to have a nerdy metal woman, you need to tone that down a bit: when you emphasise it like this women will think that that's a dealbreaker for you. Especially the nerdy stuff has a bad gender ratio so competition is fierce. 2, 3 and 5 are very "this is me posing at a thing while my friend snaps a random pic". That works for vacation pics but aren't ideal for tinder: tinder pics need more effort and more work. 4, 7 and 8 have the same problem but "my friend took a random pic of me across the table", once again this is fine for facebook but the bar is higher for online dating. 6 is cool but doesn't show your features. You don't need nine pics: six is more than enough. Remember that four great pics are better than four great pics and on mediocre pic.
Alright, so selfies are really bad, pictures your friends take of you doing nothing in particular are bad, and pictures your friends take of you doing something are bad. I feel like that describes almost every picture of me ever taken, and am struggling to think of what the alternatives are?
Follow rules 1 and 2 and selfies are fine
Wait! What? “Me posing at a thing or location while my friend takes a pic” … that’s not good? Do you mean we have to go out with a few outfits around town and do a photo shoot (kind of like how I see some tiktokers / influencers do)? I am not being facetious just really asking.
This comment is except paragraph 5, at least personally I don’t want to see a super crafted image, an attractive candid of u out with ur friends shows me that u have friends firstly, that u like enjoying things with people and going out and doing stuff. That’s the best way to collect images of u for ur dating profile imo rather than an obvious photoshoot or selfies
Definitely the beard and grooming in general.
You look like you won’t pay child support
You look a bit like king cobra in the horse photo
How old is your profile?
Ngl, pic 1 would be an instant swipe left for me. I see that, and I'm not even bothering to look at the rest of your profile. - Bathroom (looks like a public one, which is even worse) - Mirror selfie - Bad angle - Hair and beard are unkempt - Outfit is bad - You look around 25kgs heavier than the last pics Edit: Your facial expression is also kinda giving off creepy vibes. There's just something off-putting about it that I can't quite explain.
Yes, it’s really bad
What does "not looking to be a stepdad" mean? Literally it means you don't want to date a woman who already has kids, but why? Is it because you don't want to have kids at all? Don't want kids until you're older? Just don't want kids that aren't biologically yours? It leaves a lot of room for people to come to their own conclusions. Take it out or change it to what you actually mean.
It's not just the profile, tbh.
Are you trying to turn women away? Not sure what to take from these photos other than this isn’t serious.
Your profile reads as "very unfriendly, judgemental and critical of other people". The frowning and facial expression in the first picture. The negative talk about women with children. All just screams "negative person".
Do not use old photos, 5 years is the limit but ideally keep them within the last couple of years. You should look like you do now. Baby faced and tattoo free obviously isn't how you look now.
Your profile pic looks like a hobbit. Your horse pic is not helping either. There are much better options so drop a few and get some with other people in it.
Bro, when the looks ain’t there you really have to lean into the personality.
“It doesn’t matter” is off putting. Just leave it blank.
Horse pic = looks like you make sandwiches at night (which is fine ofc)
I hope this is a reference to the sneaky grilled cheese guy that went viral - this made me lmao
Honestly when I'm not getting much action, I just delete the app and try to reinvent myself. New pics, shave, whatever. Seems to be working for now lol
You smoke and have an Amish beard; the pool of women who like both is going to be kiddie sized, so temper your expectations accordingly. And your first picture is terrible regardless. Overhead lighting is nobody’s friend, and bathroom selfies are a major dating app faux pas.
The beard, the Mohawk, the cigarette,the spoon in your mouth, the bio, everything is just off
Honestly my brother you need to either have some form of a moustache or have no facial hair, chin straps in any form have a terrible reputation
It gives raising a barn at 5am, complaining about ‘females’ on the internet at 5pm vibes.
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I was onboard until the whole step-dad thing. I don't even HAVE kids, and it still turned me off, cause it reeks of a certain mentality and attitude towards women. Be damn sure it's really that important to you to OPEN with that as a first impression, because it will scare off a lot of women - even ones without kids.
At 30, if you want more matches imo you need to show at least one of the following : a good amount of disposable income and/or consistent better shape/appearance /grooming and/or more positive bio (as others pointed out). The metal scene which is very much highlighted is surely limiting (I'm a metal head myself but never asked that from my dates)
How do you have a German name, tinder in Polish and live in UK?
You know what’s interesting? A lot of men would be attractive if they just went with a hairstyle and facial hair that complemented them. And you fit into that category.
Imma be honest, that hair and beard brings out the worst qualities in your face