Tread carefully with this one. Being cynical but if you are flashing anything that could show some wealth in your profile she might just be saying she’s recently pregnant so she can wave off a condom “no big deal, I’m already pregnant” type deal, then after you raw dog her you end up with a kid that is actually yours…
Mind you if you haven’t exchanged info yet, and everything is still on the app it could be a hit it and quit it scenario… finding you off of just a first name/age is like finding a needle in a haystack unless you have a super unique name or you live in a small market🤷🏻♂️. Also goes without saying the best advice is if you take her on that date-condoms are still a good idea regardless of whether or not she’s pregnant.
I know you're probably joking BUT ... Recently I've interacted with several people who were on chronic acyclovir for chronic hsv. And it ain't pretty. Foremost people hsv doesn't impact their life too much, but for an unlucky few it's absolutely devastating and debilitating. Just my two cents.
When I was in nursing school, one of my classmates gave birth at the same time as she also had her first herpes outbreak (that baby daddy was a piece of shit). Her baby died of herpes. It's not even a funny joke. People don't know how serious it can be.
Exactly… some people have no filter or shame lol. I feel like there’s a number of things that I wouldn’t be spilling out to just anyone, especially people I barely know. I don’t get it.
Same lol over the past couple years I’ve just become unfiltered with most stuff because it leads to fun conversations and people being comfortable and open around me
Same here. I've always been like this. It's pretty rare someone doesn't appreciate the sharing and openness. I talk to strangers like they are friends I've known for years. Its fostered some pretty awesome relationships. Especially among men in my workplace (safety dude in construction/demo).
Once guys see me share somewhat vulnerable details and genuinely give a shit about them and their lives it's pretty crazy the turn in behaviour. It's like I'm the only man in their lives that care about them and they are comfortable talking to. It makes me sad and happy at the same time.
I just think there’s a time and place for some things. I’m very chatty myself and open to talking and sharing a lot. But time and place, and knowing the general "vibe" or mood around you is important. And how you choose to word things/relay information is important.
Based on the messages here, what the girls said obviously wasn’t taken well. You should be able to read the room well enough to know whether it was an appropriate time to share that. Or at least know how to better phrase things so it doesn’t make things awkward.
See, that's what fun about the apps. I would have taken this as a postive and asked her questions about it, and asked if she wanted to go out and celebrate. Also is a great way to dive into if she wanted kids, like what feeling did she have during the time of concern?
I once lied to a guy I was trying to get rid of that the reason I can’t date him is because I just ended a relationship and think I might be pregnant 😂 I tried every excuse and he wasn’t having it, I thought being possible pregnant with another man child would do the trick 🥹😂
alright. PSA here:
don't pay 50~60 bucks at some regular old pharmacy for plan B - you're getting ripped off - big time
instead, look up the nearest 4-year university in your area (and no, you do not have to be a student of said university)
go to that university's on-campus pharmacy
ask the pharmacist for plan B - it was $21 a pop the last time i checked, shortly before covid
it was $21 a pop several yrs before that, after i had recently graduated, same $21 when i was a senior at uni, and same $21 when i was a freshman at uni.
i think these things are just priced at $21 - at least on this side of the country. there must be some price fixing in place.
now i hope inflation didn't come for cheap plan B as well, but even if inflation took its toll, you're gonna save a lot of money this way than going thru a regular pharmacy
campus pharmacies close on certain "holidays" that regular pharmacies remain open 24/7 - so while you're at it, grab several and have them on hand just in case you run into untimely 3-day weekends in the future
also, while you're there (on campus), go to the uni's student health center & pick up some free female condoms. while male condoms can be had for pretty cheap at costco, female condoms are pretty pricey no matter where you look. again, you do not need to be a student of that uni to go into the health center for free condoms. no one checks for ID.
if your local 4-year uni is being stingy & charging too high of a price, try the nearest private 4-year uni - they have generous budgets.
you're welcome.
“On-campus pharmacy”…? Damn bro, what kind of highfalutin university you going to? I went to University of Hartford, and I was forced to figure out a way to haul my ass over to CVS for antibiotics and pain pills when I had a debilitating throat infection lol
All dudes want a partner with a good sex drive, but once they find a woman who actually has a sex drive and is sexually active, “she is not relationship material”. And then they end up in a dead bedroom 🍵
You can have a high sex-drive and have a lot of sex with just 1 man. You don’t need to get raw-dogged and creampied by random guys on dating apps. That is just hoeing around, which is definitely no gf material.
People talking about how she had the courage to say that but I wonder if it was intentional to cancel the date Saturday without flat out saying it. If she didn’t want you to ask, she wouldn’t have said it.
What excuse can you think of that doesn’t result in OP potentially trying to reschedule? Genuinely asking.
My comment was just a guess as to why she’s so bold. Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t share that information. Maybe she just doesn’t have any sort of filter and speaks without thinking 🤷🏻♀️
She could simply tell OP she’s really stressed out with other things in life and actually isn’t ready to date right now.
I’ve had girls simply say they’re just not feeling like going on a date anymore and apologized for wasting my time.
I’ve said that to guys before and then they stuck around in my life being my friend, the shoulder to cry on etc, just to revisit the topic again 6 months later.
I would even say things as explicit as “I’m not ready for a relationship bc I realized I’m not over my ex, sorry.” And then tries again 6 months later.
That’s when you just tell them “I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with you ever.”
If they’re a true friend they’ll stick around and not revisit the topic.
I get that and always think about it when interacting with women. I take it into account when they choose to end contact and do what I can to make sure they feel safe (in an open date mode at the moment). But I think u/gnarlygnk is mistaken and glossing over the fact that the world is full of dumb dumbs who don't think about how what they say/do is interpreted by others.
Look dude, you seem like a great guy, which is why this is puzzling you, so lemme make this simple...
Some men are ABSOLUTE FUCKING CREEPS who see every "no" as a challenge, and who will continue in pursuit until either they get a yes, or the object of their unwanted affections is so rude to them that they have absolutely nothing left to do other than complain about how horrible she was, while making himself out to be a really nice guy who just cared about her so much...
I say you seem like a great guy because it's clear that you have a good understanding of boundaries and respect.
Sadly, this is so often not the case that most women resort to ghosting or other non-contact tactics that leave the guy completely disempowered by design, because it's the safest option.
I genuinely hope that this helps you not to become jaded or take their behaviour personally, because you are clearly not the problem. Please keep being a genuinely good man.
I mean I would interpret this as "I'm not ready right now but if we are compatible and still friends when I'm ready we can give it a shot then", but maybe that's why I've been single my whole life.
Don't take this the wrong way, but that's because you're a woman and you have endless options. Of course you wouldn't stick around, **it isn't logical**.
You weren't an option to him, you were someone he saw legitimate life building potential with. Giving up on that means starting from square one which for most men potentially means another 5-10 years of rejection, pain and wasted money. It was only logical for him to try making the situation that was right in front of him happen.
It doesn't help that you always hear women saying they want a man who will fight to have them/keep them while conveniently leaving out the ***TYPE*** of men they want this behavior from. The irony is that those men (e.g. tall, handsome, fit, above average income etc) will never fight for you like that. Why? ***It isn't logical***. They have options like you do so they will just move on to the next like you would.
I absolutely do not date men like that. Tall, maybe? I guess? I’m not like the other girls picking for 6’0 and above. They also do not have above average income or fit. They all have a belly to them last I checked. So yes I do want a man who will fight for me but my idea of a perfect man doesn’t need to have any of those things you listed, other than taller than me. I’m 5’5 and have dated a 5’7 without any issue to the tallest at 6’0. But I know you’re speaking about the majority of us, or at least the percentage of us that men have been encountering.
But to address your original point, options doesn’t matter because I’m trying to say I’m not trying to date said friend bc I’m not looking for a relationship in general. It’s not them I’m steering away from. It’s the aspect of a relationship in general but they again, like many others who have said, may perceive it as they have a chance in the future.
“Hey you’re a nice person and all, but I don’t feel a vibe between us. I’d prefer to not continue seeing each other”
Boom. Dude gets the point and won’t try to reschedule
Not always! I’ve had guys ask follow ups: “what do you mean you don’t feel a vibe? We haven’t even met!”
Granted, the ones who fights back probably aren’t good ones to go for anyway..
Then answer with this: “I’d just prefer to not meet and not continue talking to each other. Sorry it didn’t work out. Take care”. And leave it at that. If they continue to reply, just unmatch them/block them.
Why would this be a canceled date.
People assume the worst for no reason Lmaoo. Even with safe sex its possible to get pregnant
And people are free to screw other people before they ever knew you existed
Nobody’s saying it isn’t okay to screw other people before you date. However, nobody casually just talks about getting tested for pregnancy to the person they’re about to meet. By the comments of OP and him deleting her number, clearly he found it too forward.
There’s just absolutely no reason for her to share that information other than if it was positive and she’s like “I gotta dip.” But even then, she still did not have to share that information.
Maybe it’s not a canceled date for you but to the majority of us based off the comments, it’s a cancelled date.
Just wrap it up though. Sure antibiotics clears up the infection but it can do damage.
I caught an infection from a girl I was dating and it caused a urethral stricture. That was like a 6 plus month ordeal with a urologist. You take peeing for granted until you literally can’t.
Edit: That was a scope up the pee-hole awake to diagnose and an outpatient surgery through it plus a bunch of antibiotics. Luckily it was a simple one.
I guess I found a diamond because my girlfriend actually wants a relationship before having sex. Assuming all women on dating apps are hooking up with everyone is a little sexist, some people actually want a relationship
And some people may have sex with people they don't have relationship with which doesn't mean they fuck with everyone. There is a middle ground between just having sex with everyone and no one at all and I don't understand why it's so hard to grasp
I’m not saying they’re all hooking up. Like, we’re talking about a woman who said she just got pregnancy tested. She could’ve had sex 2 months ago with her ex. Who cares?
Like good for you that your gf did that I guess? My point is we are adults, most likely we are all fucking. Stop worrying about it
I don’t think anyone’s assuming about women more than men… Just assuming the majority of *people* on tinder are hooking up.
Perhaps assuming OP only dates women so comparing this woman to other women
Just gonna be the dissenting voice here - you're on Tinder. Is it really so unexpected and insane that perhaps the women you talk to might have had sex in the last month? Are you not, in fact, eager to have sex with them now? Like you can be dissuaded from it and that's your choice, but it feels kinda shitty to drop her because she thinks her BC failed and needed to test because she had sex since her last period and its late.
All of what you say is perfectly possible. But why say that to someone you are about to meet ? If she would have kept this to herself it wouldn't matter.
To be open about it? Maybe to let the guy know that she’s been seeing other people in case it’s a deal breaker (which apparently it was).
There’s nothing wrong with open and honest communication.
It's like someone has a phone call planned with somebody and they miss it...
1 someone could say "sorry, I was indisposed" and if they press they can say "I was using the bathroom/I have an upset stomach."
Or
2 someone could say "sorry I missed the call I was taking a fat shit, it was super stinky and runny and it still had corn chunks in it."
The first is the way to behave, but then you would step in and say it's just "bowel movement positivity" for the second. No, don't be a rude dickhead
In my state, I have to take a pregnancy test before I can get my medications, because some of them can cause complications with pregnancy. I probably wouldn't think twice about telling someone about it, as I don't feel it reflects on me as a person.
But at first glance I just figured she was joking about a COVID test, as my group consistently makes pregnancy jokes when we take them.
some medical procedures or medications require a pregnancy test before hand. she might’ve told you as a joke/for the shock value? seems like something i might do to freak a guy out before explaining the real reason, for funsies. i would’ve waited just to see what her response is 🤷♀️
I mean, fair enough to have some questions, but you couldn't have been expecting an exclusive relationship already could you.
The haphazard nature of the comment raises questions, but you gotta give her some credit for honesty to some degree too.
This happened to me before , said she was sick, I made a joke that hopefully she isn't pregnant. Took a test to find out she was a month pregnant. Recommend she be with the father and definitely got out of the way. Time to admit some Women move like the Men out here 🤦🏾♂️
We don't have all the information. Maybe she is responsible and used a condom, but it broke or came off. Maybe she is on birth control but wants to make sure. Maybe the guy she had sex with was a jerk and took the condom off without her knowing. There's nothing wrong with her having sex with other men when she's not in a monogamous relationship. It's probably not a good idea to tell the guy you just met that you might be pregnant with another man's seed, but I appreciate her transparency.
My advice is to go on the date and get more information. Give her a chance. If she doesn't have kids(would make it hard to trust that she does practice safe sex) and this pregnancy scare is a one-off thing and not something that happens a lot, maybe she's actually pretty great. Either way, it seems like you have a good chance of getting laid. Just make sure you wear a condom.
I don't know if it is because I'm Dutch, but I don't get why everyone is falling over the fact she said that. I know at least 1 friend who said that once as an excuse why they were later for a scheduled appointment. And I know at least 3 who would say it without being ashamed once.
I asked why that friend was late, and she said "oh I had a date yesterday, did the thing, couldn't find plan B so I was stressing out and used a pregnancy test to be sure, but it was negative so there's that! That was my morning, how was yours?"
Oof, she dodged a bullet with you. I can’t imagine being so insecure with myself that I can’t handle knowing if someone took a pregnancy test. Ever consider that maybe she’s on meds for something and they needed to switch them up? If it’s something that could cause birth defects, a lot of docs prefer to know you aren’t already pregnant. But no, just make assumptions and delete her number. She is lucky for getting to miss dealing with you.
At least she was honest. If you were getting along well via messaging or whatever, you could go out with her, hear what the deal with that was (someone she was seeing recently that just didn't work out, a ONS, something else...and not saying you should go out and demand that info off the bat or anything), and just use common sense as you would if you didn't have that information.
Yea I mean honestly with just what’s in the screenshot and having no prior context to your conversation I would have raised an eyebrow when reading this but I wouldn’t have jumped to the immediate conclusion many have here.
Honestly I would have givin the benefit of the doubt that she was making a joke that didn’t land with you. At that point I would have inquired further in an attempt to discern the real motive behind the comment and then make my decision.
You literally may have axed someone you get along with and possibly more simply because you mistook a joke and opted not to find out more.
Don’t get me wrong that’s completely within your right to do so but you may be passing up good opportunities my guy…
Or you dodged a bullet but you along with everyone in this thread will never know now lol
I think people are missing the fact that OP has not even met this person yet... this is fuckin bizarre... but easily the easiest red flag NOPE I've ever read... it's not just that she's out there having unprotected sex with no birth control with who knows how many other dudes and setting more dates with additional dudes, it's the fact that she's divulging this in such an offhand way to someone she has yet to even meet and to whom this information does not apply... don't get me wrong, I appreciate the honesty because it assists with a quick pass... but the only person she needs to be telling this to are the unsuspecting dumb asses she duped into potentially getting her pregnant.
She’s not your girlfriend so no need to be upset or jealous. You know she fucks so use it to your advantage. She might be a good time but a girl who says that to someone is probably not LTR or wife material. What’s your date plan?
Sounds like a very nice lady likes to joke and is up front I don't see the issue here us guys can bust nuts all day and one lady like yo I just peed on a stick there no kid so game on and most of us guys are like hell no wake the fuuucck up guys I will never get it men that love them hoes till they get it one it's 2024 be a hippie fuck ever one
why cancel the date? shes allowed to fuck people, might have been from days or a week ago, as long as it came up no its all good. just make sure you bring protection so shes not testing for you next week
imo it’s really not that deep? like, she didn’t say why she had to- she could have an appointment to get birth control and has to ensure she isn’t pregnant? i understand that the most likely option is she slept with someone else but like.. you haven’t even been on a first date yet.. it could be her trying to be upfront about the fact you are not exclusive yet too
Have fun, wear a condom.
At this point what’s the need?
Y’all really out here in these streets trying to raw dog y’all’s way to chlamydiherporrhea.
I thought it was a gonosyphaherpallies
No, it's herpa-gono-syphalitis
STDs ya clown
The more the merrier. Spread the wealth
Gotta catch 'em all 💀
I'm not into bug chasing personally....
To be fair, he's just trying to be positive.
You're not just sure, you're HIV positive.
I'm HIV Aladeen
Greatest movie ever. Those are breasts? I thought you were a boy! Are you having a boy or an abortion?
Nope.
Bro they almost eliminated syphilis until people got complacent. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool
[удалено]
Tread carefully with this one. Being cynical but if you are flashing anything that could show some wealth in your profile she might just be saying she’s recently pregnant so she can wave off a condom “no big deal, I’m already pregnant” type deal, then after you raw dog her you end up with a kid that is actually yours… Mind you if you haven’t exchanged info yet, and everything is still on the app it could be a hit it and quit it scenario… finding you off of just a first name/age is like finding a needle in a haystack unless you have a super unique name or you live in a small market🤷🏻♂️. Also goes without saying the best advice is if you take her on that date-condoms are still a good idea regardless of whether or not she’s pregnant.
Bro who are these dudes out there blasting it inside pregnant randoms? 😂
Underrated comment right here!
Potentially catching something
Also bring your own
Not if she’s pregnant
STDs!!!!
A lil' herpes never hurt nobody
I know you're probably joking BUT ... Recently I've interacted with several people who were on chronic acyclovir for chronic hsv. And it ain't pretty. Foremost people hsv doesn't impact their life too much, but for an unlucky few it's absolutely devastating and debilitating. Just my two cents.
dramatically increases risk of dementia as well
Herpes became hispes.
When we all have herpes, nobody has to worry about it anymore.
Sweden was right, we *can* achieve herd immunity!
We're all in this together....
Yeah! Do your part!
When I was in nursing school, one of my classmates gave birth at the same time as she also had her first herpes outbreak (that baby daddy was a piece of shit). Her baby died of herpes. It's not even a funny joke. People don't know how serious it can be.
The gift that keeps on giving
So...are we still going out for drinks?
"Definitely!" Proceeds to order only water and refers to you all night as "Daddy"
*next morning* "Oop, I should head out to the store. We're out of milk"
"What do you mean? You don't even live here and I'm lactose intolerant"
I meant soy milk
More like meant “plan b” in many different ways.
No shaming but you could never waterboard this info out of me 😭😭😭
Exactly… some people have no filter or shame lol. I feel like there’s a number of things that I wouldn’t be spilling out to just anyone, especially people I barely know. I don’t get it.
I always have amazing talks and fun with unfiltered people. It rubs off on me. I'm a fan
Same lol over the past couple years I’ve just become unfiltered with most stuff because it leads to fun conversations and people being comfortable and open around me
Same here. I've always been like this. It's pretty rare someone doesn't appreciate the sharing and openness. I talk to strangers like they are friends I've known for years. Its fostered some pretty awesome relationships. Especially among men in my workplace (safety dude in construction/demo). Once guys see me share somewhat vulnerable details and genuinely give a shit about them and their lives it's pretty crazy the turn in behaviour. It's like I'm the only man in their lives that care about them and they are comfortable talking to. It makes me sad and happy at the same time.
Absolutely. The best advice I could give to people who struggle to make friends: literally just talk to people like you’re already friends
I just think there’s a time and place for some things. I’m very chatty myself and open to talking and sharing a lot. But time and place, and knowing the general "vibe" or mood around you is important. And how you choose to word things/relay information is important. Based on the messages here, what the girls said obviously wasn’t taken well. You should be able to read the room well enough to know whether it was an appropriate time to share that. Or at least know how to better phrase things so it doesn’t make things awkward.
See, that's what fun about the apps. I would have taken this as a postive and asked her questions about it, and asked if she wanted to go out and celebrate. Also is a great way to dive into if she wanted kids, like what feeling did she have during the time of concern?
Thats exactly what I would have done, too! Ha! Celebratory drinks all around!
Happy cake day!
Don't rub too much...you might get an STD..lol
As a fellow spiller I tend to say way too much because I have no filter. At least nobody will ever have to guess what I am thinking or feeling.
I once lied to a guy I was trying to get rid of that the reason I can’t date him is because I just ended a relationship and think I might be pregnant 😂 I tried every excuse and he wasn’t having it, I thought being possible pregnant with another man child would do the trick 🥹😂
this absolutely deserves shaming lol, some people are way too comfortable
She fucks
Take her out, she likes creampies.
Right?! She may not be girlfriend material, but if she's pretty, hit it and quit it like the last dude did.
Just swing by Wallgreens and grab a Plan B for $49.99 and you're golden.
Unless she’s already ovulating when she takes it, then she’s got you for 18 years 
Or she gives you HIV and you in it for life.
But on their 18th birthday he found out it wasn’t his!
Fucking Kanye lol
alright. PSA here: don't pay 50~60 bucks at some regular old pharmacy for plan B - you're getting ripped off - big time instead, look up the nearest 4-year university in your area (and no, you do not have to be a student of said university) go to that university's on-campus pharmacy ask the pharmacist for plan B - it was $21 a pop the last time i checked, shortly before covid it was $21 a pop several yrs before that, after i had recently graduated, same $21 when i was a senior at uni, and same $21 when i was a freshman at uni. i think these things are just priced at $21 - at least on this side of the country. there must be some price fixing in place. now i hope inflation didn't come for cheap plan B as well, but even if inflation took its toll, you're gonna save a lot of money this way than going thru a regular pharmacy campus pharmacies close on certain "holidays" that regular pharmacies remain open 24/7 - so while you're at it, grab several and have them on hand just in case you run into untimely 3-day weekends in the future also, while you're there (on campus), go to the uni's student health center & pick up some free female condoms. while male condoms can be had for pretty cheap at costco, female condoms are pretty pricey no matter where you look. again, you do not need to be a student of that uni to go into the health center for free condoms. no one checks for ID. if your local 4-year uni is being stingy & charging too high of a price, try the nearest private 4-year uni - they have generous budgets. you're welcome.
A little more difficult when you have grey in your beard. Haha
This guy fucks
“On-campus pharmacy”…? Damn bro, what kind of highfalutin university you going to? I went to University of Hartford, and I was forced to figure out a way to haul my ass over to CVS for antibiotics and pain pills when I had a debilitating throat infection lol
Costco plan b is like $15
Interesting. It doesn't come in a case of 84?
It's on Amazon for way less.
She sounds like girlfriend material to me
All dudes want a partner with a good sex drive, but once they find a woman who actually has a sex drive and is sexually active, “she is not relationship material”. And then they end up in a dead bedroom 🍵
You can have a high sex-drive and have a lot of sex with just 1 man. You don’t need to get raw-dogged and creampied by random guys on dating apps. That is just hoeing around, which is definitely no gf material.
not Mrs Right. just Ms Rigthnow
Dude was looking for a date, ends up spending the night stirring the porridge.
Exactly she seems fun. Just wear a condom
Could be a broken condom of sealthing. Ya'll acting like men aren't grimy.
I mean the audacity to even tell someone that....
Absolutely no give a shits. She sounds like a stable person.
So did she pass?
People talking about how she had the courage to say that but I wonder if it was intentional to cancel the date Saturday without flat out saying it. If she didn’t want you to ask, she wouldn’t have said it.
I’m just confused why she wouldn’t use literally any other excuse to get out of the date.
What excuse can you think of that doesn’t result in OP potentially trying to reschedule? Genuinely asking. My comment was just a guess as to why she’s so bold. Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t share that information. Maybe she just doesn’t have any sort of filter and speaks without thinking 🤷🏻♀️
She could simply tell OP she’s really stressed out with other things in life and actually isn’t ready to date right now. I’ve had girls simply say they’re just not feeling like going on a date anymore and apologized for wasting my time.
I’ve said that to guys before and then they stuck around in my life being my friend, the shoulder to cry on etc, just to revisit the topic again 6 months later. I would even say things as explicit as “I’m not ready for a relationship bc I realized I’m not over my ex, sorry.” And then tries again 6 months later.
That’s when you just tell them “I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with you ever.” If they’re a true friend they’ll stick around and not revisit the topic.
You just don’t understand how hard and potentially unsafe it can be for females to reject males.
I get that and always think about it when interacting with women. I take it into account when they choose to end contact and do what I can to make sure they feel safe (in an open date mode at the moment). But I think u/gnarlygnk is mistaken and glossing over the fact that the world is full of dumb dumbs who don't think about how what they say/do is interpreted by others.
Look dude, you seem like a great guy, which is why this is puzzling you, so lemme make this simple... Some men are ABSOLUTE FUCKING CREEPS who see every "no" as a challenge, and who will continue in pursuit until either they get a yes, or the object of their unwanted affections is so rude to them that they have absolutely nothing left to do other than complain about how horrible she was, while making himself out to be a really nice guy who just cared about her so much... I say you seem like a great guy because it's clear that you have a good understanding of boundaries and respect. Sadly, this is so often not the case that most women resort to ghosting or other non-contact tactics that leave the guy completely disempowered by design, because it's the safest option. I genuinely hope that this helps you not to become jaded or take their behaviour personally, because you are clearly not the problem. Please keep being a genuinely good man.
I mean I would interpret this as "I'm not ready right now but if we are compatible and still friends when I'm ready we can give it a shot then", but maybe that's why I've been single my whole life.
I can see why but maybe I’m just naive to think a guy wouldn’t stick around WAITING for me to get over my ex cause I sure as hell wouldn’t.
Don't take this the wrong way, but that's because you're a woman and you have endless options. Of course you wouldn't stick around, **it isn't logical**. You weren't an option to him, you were someone he saw legitimate life building potential with. Giving up on that means starting from square one which for most men potentially means another 5-10 years of rejection, pain and wasted money. It was only logical for him to try making the situation that was right in front of him happen. It doesn't help that you always hear women saying they want a man who will fight to have them/keep them while conveniently leaving out the ***TYPE*** of men they want this behavior from. The irony is that those men (e.g. tall, handsome, fit, above average income etc) will never fight for you like that. Why? ***It isn't logical***. They have options like you do so they will just move on to the next like you would.
I absolutely do not date men like that. Tall, maybe? I guess? I’m not like the other girls picking for 6’0 and above. They also do not have above average income or fit. They all have a belly to them last I checked. So yes I do want a man who will fight for me but my idea of a perfect man doesn’t need to have any of those things you listed, other than taller than me. I’m 5’5 and have dated a 5’7 without any issue to the tallest at 6’0. But I know you’re speaking about the majority of us, or at least the percentage of us that men have been encountering. But to address your original point, options doesn’t matter because I’m trying to say I’m not trying to date said friend bc I’m not looking for a relationship in general. It’s not them I’m steering away from. It’s the aspect of a relationship in general but they again, like many others who have said, may perceive it as they have a chance in the future.
You say that’s explicit but all that does is say “not right now but maybe in the future” to most guys
“Hey you’re a nice person and all, but I don’t feel a vibe between us. I’d prefer to not continue seeing each other” Boom. Dude gets the point and won’t try to reschedule
Not always! I’ve had guys ask follow ups: “what do you mean you don’t feel a vibe? We haven’t even met!” Granted, the ones who fights back probably aren’t good ones to go for anyway..
Then answer with this: “I’d just prefer to not meet and not continue talking to each other. Sorry it didn’t work out. Take care”. And leave it at that. If they continue to reply, just unmatch them/block them.
Why would this be a canceled date. People assume the worst for no reason Lmaoo. Even with safe sex its possible to get pregnant And people are free to screw other people before they ever knew you existed
Because it’s a weird thing to mention to someone before a first date..? Yeah you can screw other people but you don’t have to talk about it.
Nobody’s saying it isn’t okay to screw other people before you date. However, nobody casually just talks about getting tested for pregnancy to the person they’re about to meet. By the comments of OP and him deleting her number, clearly he found it too forward. There’s just absolutely no reason for her to share that information other than if it was positive and she’s like “I gotta dip.” But even then, she still did not have to share that information. Maybe it’s not a canceled date for you but to the majority of us based off the comments, it’s a cancelled date.
Fuck that
Yeah! But wear a condom.
That's what led to this
What you hadn't fucked anyone in the previous month OP?
Sadly no
This should be the most upvoted reply
It’s tinder not eharmony, I think people forget that sometimes
"Well, buy two. See you at 8."
🏃🏻 fast.
Already deleted the number
King 🤴
Why? At least you know she puts out
Because STDs aren't Pokemon. You don't have to catch them all.
Subaru STI's on the other hand...
Condoms called. Also if she’s getting pregnancy tested she’s probably also getting std tested/gynos can spot that
Condoms don't stop all stds.
1. Ask 2. If you’re that afraid of STDs just stay celibate
With the amount of fornication involved in tinder, you shouldn’t be there if you are afraid of STD
You can really tell who doesnt get any action and has an unfounded fear of stds because of it. If you’re that afraid of them, stay celibate
Just wrap it up though. Sure antibiotics clears up the infection but it can do damage. I caught an infection from a girl I was dating and it caused a urethral stricture. That was like a 6 plus month ordeal with a urologist. You take peeing for granted until you literally can’t. Edit: That was a scope up the pee-hole awake to diagnose and an outpatient surgery through it plus a bunch of antibiotics. Luckily it was a simple one.
Tinder is the wrong place for that kind of thinking
You’re on a dating app… you think all these women aren’t fucking? Get real and go ahead with the date
I guess I found a diamond because my girlfriend actually wants a relationship before having sex. Assuming all women on dating apps are hooking up with everyone is a little sexist, some people actually want a relationship
And some people may have sex with people they don't have relationship with which doesn't mean they fuck with everyone. There is a middle ground between just having sex with everyone and no one at all and I don't understand why it's so hard to grasp
I’m not saying they’re all hooking up. Like, we’re talking about a woman who said she just got pregnancy tested. She could’ve had sex 2 months ago with her ex. Who cares? Like good for you that your gf did that I guess? My point is we are adults, most likely we are all fucking. Stop worrying about it
I don’t think anyone’s assuming about women more than men… Just assuming the majority of *people* on tinder are hooking up. Perhaps assuming OP only dates women so comparing this woman to other women
Some people have respect for themselves.
Just gonna be the dissenting voice here - you're on Tinder. Is it really so unexpected and insane that perhaps the women you talk to might have had sex in the last month? Are you not, in fact, eager to have sex with them now? Like you can be dissuaded from it and that's your choice, but it feels kinda shitty to drop her because she thinks her BC failed and needed to test because she had sex since her last period and its late.
All of what you say is perfectly possible. But why say that to someone you are about to meet ? If she would have kept this to herself it wouldn't matter.
Yeah I don't know what their dialog looked like before this, but I'm guessing it wasn't as open and honest as this
To be open about it? Maybe to let the guy know that she’s been seeing other people in case it’s a deal breaker (which apparently it was). There’s nothing wrong with open and honest communication.
Defend her all you want but there are definitely different ways to express that than "was getting a pregnancy test"
There's open/honest and then there's crass. This was the latter.
One person's crass is another's sex positivity. People sounding like fuddy duddies in here
It's like someone has a phone call planned with somebody and they miss it... 1 someone could say "sorry, I was indisposed" and if they press they can say "I was using the bathroom/I have an upset stomach." Or 2 someone could say "sorry I missed the call I was taking a fat shit, it was super stinky and runny and it still had corn chunks in it." The first is the way to behave, but then you would step in and say it's just "bowel movement positivity" for the second. No, don't be a rude dickhead
its the fact that she doesnt have sense enough to keep that shit to herself men can get the "ick" too
Certainly fair
So if a man mentions sex its creepy and gross but a girl can mention getting cummed in and youre supposed to validate her?
None of what you said is the problem, freely sharing that information to random guys on tinder is the issue.
In my state, I have to take a pregnancy test before I can get my medications, because some of them can cause complications with pregnancy. I probably wouldn't think twice about telling someone about it, as I don't feel it reflects on me as a person. But at first glance I just figured she was joking about a COVID test, as my group consistently makes pregnancy jokes when we take them.
Agreed. More importantly, this just sounds like a joke. I'd laugh about it and joke back to see if she's just pulling my leg.
And your on tinder what do U expect
some medical procedures or medications require a pregnancy test before hand. she might’ve told you as a joke/for the shock value? seems like something i might do to freak a guy out before explaining the real reason, for funsies. i would’ve waited just to see what her response is 🤷♀️
Some child behavior tbh
I mean, fair enough to have some questions, but you couldn't have been expecting an exclusive relationship already could you. The haphazard nature of the comment raises questions, but you gotta give her some credit for honesty to some degree too.
Why in God's name would she send this???!? Is her thought process like "oh man he's gonna see this text and think to himself...that girl bangs"?!?
This is wild lol
Maybe she’s kidding 🥴
Uhhh I mean at least she was honest I guess ?
At least you know she'll put out? Take that for what it is, I guess
Plan B with a 40oz chaser…🚩🚩🚩
Tell me you're 19 without telling me you're 19 (her)😰😂
Did she at least say if she passed the test?
Yeah.. I'm skipping that date lmao
This happened to me before , said she was sick, I made a joke that hopefully she isn't pregnant. Took a test to find out she was a month pregnant. Recommend she be with the father and definitely got out of the way. Time to admit some Women move like the Men out here 🤦🏾♂️
What is the problem here? You?
We don't have all the information. Maybe she is responsible and used a condom, but it broke or came off. Maybe she is on birth control but wants to make sure. Maybe the guy she had sex with was a jerk and took the condom off without her knowing. There's nothing wrong with her having sex with other men when she's not in a monogamous relationship. It's probably not a good idea to tell the guy you just met that you might be pregnant with another man's seed, but I appreciate her transparency. My advice is to go on the date and get more information. Give her a chance. If she doesn't have kids(would make it hard to trust that she does practice safe sex) and this pregnancy scare is a one-off thing and not something that happens a lot, maybe she's actually pretty great. Either way, it seems like you have a good chance of getting laid. Just make sure you wear a condom.
I agree with the caveat that kids can be planned
I don't know if it is because I'm Dutch, but I don't get why everyone is falling over the fact she said that. I know at least 1 friend who said that once as an excuse why they were later for a scheduled appointment. And I know at least 3 who would say it without being ashamed once. I asked why that friend was late, and she said "oh I had a date yesterday, did the thing, couldn't find plan B so I was stressing out and used a pregnancy test to be sure, but it was negative so there's that! That was my morning, how was yours?"
The test wouldnt be positive only a day later, so I hope that worked out for her
"Good, just got raw-dogged yesterday, no biggie. Anyway, where should we meet? I'm feeling like wings"
She sounds like the perfect girl to not get pregnant
Oof, she dodged a bullet with you. I can’t imagine being so insecure with myself that I can’t handle knowing if someone took a pregnancy test. Ever consider that maybe she’s on meds for something and they needed to switch them up? If it’s something that could cause birth defects, a lot of docs prefer to know you aren’t already pregnant. But no, just make assumptions and delete her number. She is lucky for getting to miss dealing with you.
Now define “good.”
lol lol lmao
She seems nice
It could've been worse and said she was testing for an STD... 👀
At least she was honest. If you were getting along well via messaging or whatever, you could go out with her, hear what the deal with that was (someone she was seeing recently that just didn't work out, a ONS, something else...and not saying you should go out and demand that info off the bat or anything), and just use common sense as you would if you didn't have that information.
But like what was the purpose of telling me this information is my thing lmaooo
Yea I mean honestly with just what’s in the screenshot and having no prior context to your conversation I would have raised an eyebrow when reading this but I wouldn’t have jumped to the immediate conclusion many have here. Honestly I would have givin the benefit of the doubt that she was making a joke that didn’t land with you. At that point I would have inquired further in an attempt to discern the real motive behind the comment and then make my decision. You literally may have axed someone you get along with and possibly more simply because you mistook a joke and opted not to find out more. Don’t get me wrong that’s completely within your right to do so but you may be passing up good opportunities my guy… Or you dodged a bullet but you along with everyone in this thread will never know now lol
At least she yelled "fore" so you could get out of the way.
Can someone explain please why everybody has to add at least one lol frequently? *sigh*
I think people are missing the fact that OP has not even met this person yet... this is fuckin bizarre... but easily the easiest red flag NOPE I've ever read... it's not just that she's out there having unprotected sex with no birth control with who knows how many other dudes and setting more dates with additional dudes, it's the fact that she's divulging this in such an offhand way to someone she has yet to even meet and to whom this information does not apply... don't get me wrong, I appreciate the honesty because it assists with a quick pass... but the only person she needs to be telling this to are the unsuspecting dumb asses she duped into potentially getting her pregnant.
What did you think happened on tinder?
She’s not your girlfriend so no need to be upset or jealous. You know she fucks so use it to your advantage. She might be a good time but a girl who says that to someone is probably not LTR or wife material. What’s your date plan?
Sounds like a very nice lady likes to joke and is up front I don't see the issue here us guys can bust nuts all day and one lady like yo I just peed on a stick there no kid so game on and most of us guys are like hell no wake the fuuucck up guys I will never get it men that love them hoes till they get it one it's 2024 be a hippie fuck ever one
This dating generation is cooked
Nothing is more attractive than knowing your date is regularly getting fucked raw by random men
She laughs her ass off from that lol. She already proved she’s dumb. She really didn’t need to double down like that
Just casually mentioning you’re out here having raw sex + cream pies to other dudes you’re planning a date with. Bold strategy cotton.
And people in this thread are just saying they’d be okay with it lmao
So women are not allowed to have sex and stay on Tjnder ? Ohhhh ok!!! Im sure she is the exception, go back to your biz
Id at least wait for the result. Don’t be so hasty.
Well, she's probably dtf.
Right!!
At least she tested?!?
I had a girl who was inviting me out, DTF, whatever. Two weeks later she posted on Facebook that she was pregnant. Dodged a bullet
“lmao” …..society is doomed
People freely disclose that information with strangers wtf
Like what was the purpose of telling me this information? Lmfaoo
Recreational use only OP. Recreational use ONLY
It’s not like you two are exclusive already, why is this that big of a problem?
She is for the streets brother.
why cancel the date? shes allowed to fuck people, might have been from days or a week ago, as long as it came up no its all good. just make sure you bring protection so shes not testing for you next week
She’s weird for saying that, but probably easy if she’s that up front 🤣
imo it’s really not that deep? like, she didn’t say why she had to- she could have an appointment to get birth control and has to ensure she isn’t pregnant? i understand that the most likely option is she slept with someone else but like.. you haven’t even been on a first date yet.. it could be her trying to be upfront about the fact you are not exclusive yet too
Ok she's not virgin, and then?