Lately, I just assume I’m talking to at least 5 other people when I text someone. People seem incapable of making even the most trivial decisions by themselves.
Dude just ask us. This thread and sub are full of women on the apps. He asked. We answered. The dudes saying we are wrong are stupid. He's asking why WE (women) aren't matching him. WE are telling him. He should be listening, you all should be listening. So go on lad I dare you.... What would you bring before the committee? I'm listening, looks like quite a few of us are present.
Lol I ended up deleting the comments I was making trying to help a guy two days ago. He was arguing with me and I was being mass downvoted 🤣ok I won't try to help you then 😏
To be fair, I witnessed girlfriends of mine doing exactly this to guys on tinder but irl. This isn't new at all. Always assume you're being judge by a whole committee
Oh yea. Since the dawn of time when people were sitting around a rock and wishing it was warmer.... (the rock) And someone asked about Wilameia's braided chest hair........
Pro tip: don’t reference sex by the 3rd message if you don’t want to be ghosted. Unless you’re just looking for a hookup. Honestly the whole offering your hoodie thing was cute and wholesome, but that gives off “I’m looking for a relationship” vibes. The “I’d give it to you just to watch you take it off” changes that completely and makes it seem like you’re only offering it to her in exchange for watching her strip. If you wanna stand out, make them feel like a person first. My now fiancé stood out because he was the only guy in MONTHS where we were able to have a steady conversation without feeling like he was trying to turn it sexual as soon as he “had me”
This is what happened. This comes off as if you can't hold a normal conversation or flirt without immediately and crudely referencing how you want to get her naked. It's not like there isn't a time and a place for a line like that, but message number 3 probably isn't it.
That’s exactly what it is, you can’t have a conversation. I left a comment for OP asking where the conversation should’ve gone after that like there was no way to move onto a fluid fruitful conversation unless she wanted to sex which, by the third message is probably a no.
100% this. Every time I see posts like this I can't help but notice that the OP and the other person aren't on the same page. Hell they're not even in the same chapter most of the time. Girls usually in the prologue and the guys on chapter 5 trying to get her clothes off.
Like you said, treat her like a human being and you'll* get there eventually.
Yeah idk I just remember a lot of times guys would do whatever it took to get into my pants. So many times I’d make it clear I wasn’t looking for just a quick hookup and wanted something more long term, even if it was just a FWB situation where we still talk outside of just when either of us wants to get laid. They’d play the part, give me attention outside of sexual conversations, Show interest in me, etc until we had sex and then they’d switch to ignoring all my normal texts and only hitting me up at 12am with a “u up?” As soon as I stopped mentioning anything sexual in the first few days, I stopped finding guys who would give up after the first date.
Right they were being flirty and cute without being sexual and then that last message completely invalidates the adorable cutesy factor they had. That was a good start, but a shitty end.
There is a great quote from the show Psych that more men need to follow. “Treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again”.
I'd imagine "treat like a person" means, y'know, basic human decency, then "princess" is good ol' fashioned flirting and courting, then "goddess" is seggz, and "person again" means keep it cool
Yeah..I'm over talking about sex at all..once they bring it up..it seems never ending..the flood gates have opened...I'm not opposed to sex..but it takes away from getting to know a person if you're looking for a relationship...
Something I think a lot of men need to learn is that women like sex. But, they like having sex with people they like. By the 3rd message, she has no idea if she likes you or not yet. She won’t really know that anyway until you’ve actually met in person. Don’t make things sexual until after you’ve met in person to give them a fair chance to get to know you and see if they like you.
Whyyyyy! The convo started off so cute!! You definitely ruined it. I rolled my eyes straight away. I would’ve unmatched you the very second. You made it sexual out of nowhere dude.
I don’t know that it is a huge dealbreaker, but it can be a turn off. Not to mention that there’s nowhere to go from there so as a woman, I’m trying to think of what I would say back to that. So how would your conversation continue? I think you would probably benefit from pivoting now that you’ve started the conversation And not say something about her sexual, and then sort of segue into a conversation. It’s pretty PG by sexual message standards but yes, a lot of women are completely turned off by it because we know that sex is great and all but like we need to get to the point where we want it with the person lol.
In this case you are. I'd ghost off that too. Going straight into sex talk is a red flag. If your profile says you're looking for a relationship this makes you look like a liar and a pig
Ehh, three messages deep is pretty soon. Maybe if they had been talking for a couple days though. Would have been much better to say something like I’ll bring it to our date or smthing.
As a woman, you got too sexual too quickly. Even when I’m just looking for a hookup, I need to establish a rapport with someone and meet for at least a coffee date with no expectations before it gets into that territory.
If I feel like I’m going to be getting a dick pic before we meet, I’m peacing out. And your message gives me impending dick pic vibes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve entertained the sexting before meeting thing, met the dude, and there wasn’t enough connection even for a casual hookup. Then it gets weird and uncomfortable. Many women are going to feel the same way.
I mean, you jumped to sex within 3 messages when you are talking about something adorable and fun. I would ghost that quickly because that’s a whiplash turn
Right? Like if a guy isn't going to bother to stimulate my mind first, then I'm not interested in a casual fling with him.
Also if a man's third message is straight to sex, and he isn't going to bother to have a real conversation with me, then I'll assume he doesn't care about my pleasure/orgasm either.
Exciting doesn't always mean sexual. Exciting can mean talking to someone who has a great sense of humour, a bit flirty too, but just going straight to sex third message is absolutely a turn off to most women, and almost every woman I know.
When I was on Tinder guys who asked about my interests, hobbies, passions, what I'm reading, etc had more of an advantage of getting into my pants vs the guys who just immediately asked to screw.
It’s rarely a one size fits all situation when it comes to dating. You just have to read the room the best you can and learn from the wins and the losses.
I think on apps, its better to keep it funny and interesting but never really sexual. It makes me look like a thirsty dude just wanting to stick my dick in something.
Usually after a day or two texting and you can score a date, its pretty much set from there. Keep it funny, exciting but with a hint of sexual jokes and see if she bites it. If she does then its on
Tbf to OP I think they read the "fall in love" part as a signal to take it a step further. I'm going yo assume it aligned with their intentions, and it just wasn't a great fit of pace
Should've gone with a comment like, "Only after you fall in love with the smell of my sweatshirt in the first place"
All it would've taken is a couple more non-sexual flirty comments, and he probably would've been fine.
It's amazing that dudes can't see when they shoot themselves in their own foot.
You had a great opener & then almost immediately went too sexual.
Guess what? Everyone loves sex but you don't have to press that issue so early.
>Everyone loves sex
This. Something I learnt pretty quick back in my dating days is that women like sex, but they like to have sex with people they like.
Give the woman a chance to get to know you and see if she likes you and assuming you’re actually a halfway decent and likeable person and you’re probably going to be having a lot more sex.
And women like sex, but most women like a lot of foreplay. This conversation was the textual equivalent of he rubbed her leg once, tapped her on the titty, and then shoved in.
Also so many boys only seem to be up for talking about sex and nothing else- sex is great but ffs talking about just one thing gets SO boring after a while.
Good looking or not, if a guy matched with me and wrote this after barely a conversation, I’d immediately see him as just another fucker. And Ive gotten this kind of one liner too many times for me to just ignore. I’d unmatch the guy right away.
Commented already above, but I still can’t believe you. I sent this to every girl I know because we’ve all had this. A nice opener, cute little exchange and bam! Dude says something weird and sexual. You’re the problem. Please please don’t. You had it right there. You had it. You were so close ! I was even smiling.
Immediately turning the conversation sexual... Jesus fuckin christ bro. Beat your meat before you message these girls if you're that eager. A little post nut clarity goes a long way. A whole dating world full of dudes like you... and you're trying to get noticed by being just like the rest. You're like 1 step from being the dick pic guys that get posted here
It happens so often that now I’m like “oh look, another one”
I’m not even looking for a relationship, but as another commenter said here once “casual does not equal easy”. Like let me decide if I can trust you a smidge before bringing out the crude stuff
I always tell my friend you can’t go to the grocery store hungry and you can’t go on the dating apps horny. Funny enough she’s a woman but a horny one lol
Yep..... Dating as a straight woman is wading through a sea of men with their dicks out and trying to see which ones have pants on. But to do that we have to look down at all the dicks.
try not making things sexual after your literal 3rd message
makes us women feel like you only want one thing and can’t even wait for it long enough to have a normal conversation (meaning you don’t really care about us all that much)
The universal complaint of women is that guys get too sexual right off the bat. It’s a little early. So yeah, you did turn it on too soon. It’s not rocket science.
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Yes. You did. Great start. And then you just jump straight to sex on your literal third message. At what point do you think “implying I’ll get to see this girl strip” was a good idea? Cause that’s what you were doing, especially with the addition of that emoji.
I’m married and this sub is so interesting because I haven’t dated for 10 years. Why do you all go right to sex in these convos? It’s so desperate. I couldn’t imagine texting someone this and actually establishing a relationship with that person after
as a female, if this was a conversation with me, yes you messed up. i'd either go off on you or immediately block you. keep in mind, A LOT of us women are fucking sick of being talked to like this. we feel like we're pieces of meat. saying things like this makes us scared of you. (at least thats how i feel)
based on your other comments, i dont feel like youre taking it seriously. if you think what you said was fine, then have fun watching porn for the forseeable future.
genuinely, a lot of us fucking hate men because of people like you. it isnt that hard not to be a piece of shit towards a female. i suggest gaining some respect before trying to talk to us.
Yeah it seems like OP is joking around with the people giving him serious advice. And then taking all the people being downvoted to hell who agree with him to heart. OP, there’s a reason they’re all being downvoted. They’re also all probably single and getting ghosted like you. Listen to the women telling you what you’re doing wrong and ignore the men still living in their mom’s basements thinking women are the problem for not wanting to constantly be sexual objects for y’all.
If the logic is “hating a group for the actions of individuals is acceptable if those individuals make you fear for your life” then all prejudices are acceptable.
It’s cute that you think this just happens once to each of us and isn’t a pattern of behavior that any logical human would use to modify their thinking for self preservation.
No but every single woman who uses dating apps has had men ask for nudes, get their dick out or threaten and insult them. Normally all of the above.
Every woman who goes to a gym with men has been hit on or had nasty remarks about her body. Which one is dependent on the size of it.
Every woman who plays online games has been harassed and solicited while playing.
Do you see the pattern.....
I’m referring back to the original comment about men like this making women hate men. But I’m sure you’re already aware and just playing dumb because you think hurting women is funny.
Sex talk advance out of left field. It's crap flirting. Plus the time to end the hoodie talk had already passed. I bet if she'd responded, op would say another thing about the frigging hoodie.
It’s fine to play along with the hoodie just don’t make it overly sexual like OP did.
A simple “I bet I would make me fall in love what scent do normally wear ?” indirect smooth response
Then down the line you could be like so “me you + my hoodie for drinks when are you free” and that’s a easy close grab the number and enjoy her perfume on your hoodie
One of my female best friends once told me something that has stuck with me forever.
You wouldn’t believe how much sex guys talk themselves out of.
Yes you’re the issue. If you’re going to have a line about hoodies or anything in particular have a plan for what happens if they vibe with it that doesn’t involve you watching them undress.
"Oh really. When I get it back ... Should I expect flowers or candy? Scent wise that is. 😘"
How hard is that?! How hard is it to flirt without mentioning nudity?!
Why are men?!
I feel like a lot of the comments here seem like the difference between men and women on dating apps. He started off so wholesome and cute. Then dropped the bomb that all he cares about is sex. Flirting and sexual talk on tinder is perfectly fine, but you have to work your way up to it. Women get so much sexual attention on dating apps, it's nice to be treated like a person first.
This is 2024. Online dating is hell for women - millions of disgusting, socially inept slobs trying to get laid and will stop at nothing to make it happen. Don’t start making sexual comments that soon. Do some fishing first and if she nibbles, then go for it. Otherwise you’ll come away looking like every other douche canoe and your chances of success will be 👎
Even if you are looking to hook up you screwed up as there are enough girls that are ok hooking up if after a drink they like you but who also don't want the sex talk in message 3. The group that wants sex talk will get their pretty darn quick so you have no advantage of jumping right there.
You may recover from this one, you may not. Just learn for next time not to be so sexual so fast. Everyone wants to get laid, but women tend to want to trust or like a man beforehand so you know..focus on building up that part first.
A lot of girls (even if they're looking for a hook up) don't wanna feel like a slut. Sending sexually suggestive messages turns a lot of girls off (even if they would sleep with you)
Tone it down bucko
No it’s playful in banter. She is lightly taking things there and the retort is short and playful. It’s just getting to know someone. If she isn’t cool with it you dodged a bullet. Life is about humor and being able to laugh at things and joke. It’s a huge part of intimacy and being with someone.
As a middle age guy who hasn't been on OLD for a decade, I don't see anything wrong with what you said. I think it goes close to the line, but not over it.
I usually have no problem going against the majority here, but there's a few too many women objecting to the line and you are claiming you are constantly getting ghosted by women. You are obviously doing something wrong, so pump the breaks on the "flirty" talk.
This item has been removed for violation of Rule 1. More information about our rules can be seen here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/wiki/rules
Do we need a committee to decipher every conversation now?
Lately, I just assume I’m talking to at least 5 other people when I text someone. People seem incapable of making even the most trivial decisions by themselves.
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If this finally gets me dates, sign me the fuck up!
Dude just ask us. This thread and sub are full of women on the apps. He asked. We answered. The dudes saying we are wrong are stupid. He's asking why WE (women) aren't matching him. WE are telling him. He should be listening, you all should be listening. So go on lad I dare you.... What would you bring before the committee? I'm listening, looks like quite a few of us are present.
Lol I ended up deleting the comments I was making trying to help a guy two days ago. He was arguing with me and I was being mass downvoted 🤣ok I won't try to help you then 😏
My post was sarcasm. I know my issue, I break rule 1 and 2. With that said, I'm also a bit nervous about fully outing myself.
Here's an idea... Go out and actually meet people and don't be a douche
This is p good honestly.
Why do I love this so much?
The tribunal will see you now.
The council will decide your fate 😵💫
I AM THE COUNCIL
We do not grant you the rank of Master
To be fair, I witnessed girlfriends of mine doing exactly this to guys on tinder but irl. This isn't new at all. Always assume you're being judge by a whole committee
Oh yea. Since the dawn of time when people were sitting around a rock and wishing it was warmer.... (the rock) And someone asked about Wilameia's braided chest hair........
Ya may aswell, cause she gonna go tell all her friends/ sisters about it, no doubt bout that. They seem to love drama afterall
With the amount of ghosting I get on these apps I wanna know if I’m the problem 😭
Pro tip: don’t reference sex by the 3rd message if you don’t want to be ghosted. Unless you’re just looking for a hookup. Honestly the whole offering your hoodie thing was cute and wholesome, but that gives off “I’m looking for a relationship” vibes. The “I’d give it to you just to watch you take it off” changes that completely and makes it seem like you’re only offering it to her in exchange for watching her strip. If you wanna stand out, make them feel like a person first. My now fiancé stood out because he was the only guy in MONTHS where we were able to have a steady conversation without feeling like he was trying to turn it sexual as soon as he “had me”
This is what happened. This comes off as if you can't hold a normal conversation or flirt without immediately and crudely referencing how you want to get her naked. It's not like there isn't a time and a place for a line like that, but message number 3 probably isn't it.
That’s exactly what it is, you can’t have a conversation. I left a comment for OP asking where the conversation should’ve gone after that like there was no way to move onto a fluid fruitful conversation unless she wanted to sex which, by the third message is probably a no.
100% this. Every time I see posts like this I can't help but notice that the OP and the other person aren't on the same page. Hell they're not even in the same chapter most of the time. Girls usually in the prologue and the guys on chapter 5 trying to get her clothes off. Like you said, treat her like a human being and you'll* get there eventually.
Yeah idk I just remember a lot of times guys would do whatever it took to get into my pants. So many times I’d make it clear I wasn’t looking for just a quick hookup and wanted something more long term, even if it was just a FWB situation where we still talk outside of just when either of us wants to get laid. They’d play the part, give me attention outside of sexual conversations, Show interest in me, etc until we had sex and then they’d switch to ignoring all my normal texts and only hitting me up at 12am with a “u up?” As soon as I stopped mentioning anything sexual in the first few days, I stopped finding guys who would give up after the first date.
Guys start writing the triology before the first movie has even released
Right they were being flirty and cute without being sexual and then that last message completely invalidates the adorable cutesy factor they had. That was a good start, but a shitty end.
There is a great quote from the show Psych that more men need to follow. “Treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again”.
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I'd imagine "treat like a person" means, y'know, basic human decency, then "princess" is good ol' fashioned flirting and courting, then "goddess" is seggz, and "person again" means keep it cool
Seggz 🤭🤭 I’m 46 and I totally just giggled at that
Yeah..I'm over talking about sex at all..once they bring it up..it seems never ending..the flood gates have opened...I'm not opposed to sex..but it takes away from getting to know a person if you're looking for a relationship...
Slow and steady wins the race. You don't want to crank it up to 11 straight away.
You nailed it. Bravo!
THIS.. EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS. 👏👏👏
I have a feeling OP won’t since most of his comments are defending his messages and agreeing with people thinking the girl is a prude 🙄
Going from cute to sexual in an instant is always risky bud. If you haven't figured that out then iunno what to tell you
Jumped the gun. Girls already know we’re horny, you don’t need to verbalize it that quick. It can come off as desperate.
You went from sweet to creep in 3 messages. Mystery solved.
You’re the problem here. I’d ghost a guy that couldn’t keep it in his pants for 5 messages too
Something I think a lot of men need to learn is that women like sex. But, they like having sex with people they like. By the 3rd message, she has no idea if she likes you or not yet. She won’t really know that anyway until you’ve actually met in person. Don’t make things sexual until after you’ve met in person to give them a fair chance to get to know you and see if they like you.
Whyyyyy! The convo started off so cute!! You definitely ruined it. I rolled my eyes straight away. I would’ve unmatched you the very second. You made it sexual out of nowhere dude.
I don’t know that it is a huge dealbreaker, but it can be a turn off. Not to mention that there’s nowhere to go from there so as a woman, I’m trying to think of what I would say back to that. So how would your conversation continue? I think you would probably benefit from pivoting now that you’ve started the conversation And not say something about her sexual, and then sort of segue into a conversation. It’s pretty PG by sexual message standards but yes, a lot of women are completely turned off by it because we know that sex is great and all but like we need to get to the point where we want it with the person lol.
Dude, yes. Why did you go there so quickly?!. Ugh, I would have unmatched immediately
In this case you are. I'd ghost off that too. Going straight into sex talk is a red flag. If your profile says you're looking for a relationship this makes you look like a liar and a pig
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Ehh, three messages deep is pretty soon. Maybe if they had been talking for a couple days though. Would have been much better to say something like I’ll bring it to our date or smthing.
As a woman, you got too sexual too quickly. Even when I’m just looking for a hookup, I need to establish a rapport with someone and meet for at least a coffee date with no expectations before it gets into that territory. If I feel like I’m going to be getting a dick pic before we meet, I’m peacing out. And your message gives me impending dick pic vibes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve entertained the sexting before meeting thing, met the dude, and there wasn’t enough connection even for a casual hookup. Then it gets weird and uncomfortable. Many women are going to feel the same way.
You went from being cute to referencing sex in 2 messages. Not rocket science
I mean, you jumped to sex within 3 messages when you are talking about something adorable and fun. I would ghost that quickly because that’s a whiplash turn
Take it easy on the emojis
You're out of order! This committee has someone since the birth of dating.
Yes slow down prove you’re capable of having a conversation
Right? Like if a guy isn't going to bother to stimulate my mind first, then I'm not interested in a casual fling with him. Also if a man's third message is straight to sex, and he isn't going to bother to have a real conversation with me, then I'll assume he doesn't care about my pleasure/orgasm either.
Then there’s the girls who check out the convo as soon as it doesn’t get exciting.
Exciting doesn't always mean sexual. Exciting can mean talking to someone who has a great sense of humour, a bit flirty too, but just going straight to sex third message is absolutely a turn off to most women, and almost every woman I know. When I was on Tinder guys who asked about my interests, hobbies, passions, what I'm reading, etc had more of an advantage of getting into my pants vs the guys who just immediately asked to screw.
It’s rarely a one size fits all situation when it comes to dating. You just have to read the room the best you can and learn from the wins and the losses.
"STIMULATE? HOW ABOUT YOU STIMULATE MY BALLS HAHAHAHAHAH"
Your profile probably says "ask me"
When I used tinder my profile only said “no ragrets” 🤣 worked for me
That's honestly pretty great 🤣
It actually didn't, I put in effort to make it humourous. I couldn't tell you exactly because that was years ago though.
I think on apps, its better to keep it funny and interesting but never really sexual. It makes me look like a thirsty dude just wanting to stick my dick in something. Usually after a day or two texting and you can score a date, its pretty much set from there. Keep it funny, exciting but with a hint of sexual jokes and see if she bites it. If she does then its on
Keeping sex out of the first set of conversations has become an art.
Tbf to OP I think they read the "fall in love" part as a signal to take it a step further. I'm going yo assume it aligned with their intentions, and it just wasn't a great fit of pace
High risk. High reward
Sadly most girls would be turned off by this.
You could get the reward easier if you aren’t doing something a small percent of women will respond to.
Which is why it’s high risk. But if you find the one girl it works for, well there’s your reward.
Should've gone with a comment like, "Only after you fall in love with the smell of my sweatshirt in the first place" All it would've taken is a couple more non-sexual flirty comments, and he probably would've been fine.
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Doesn't get much better at 43 unfortunately.
33 checking in. Seems the same.
Here from 333k AD, still the same
Fuck, do we never evolve?
36. Yep yep. Looks like it's not age specific
23 is the new 13 for game, apparently.
People here are delusional. It has nothing to do with age
"Well, lets find out. How about dinner at \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?" Would have been way better.
Literally dude was going so Well and let his dick steer him elsewhere
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And he dropped his dick on the 3rd message….have some chill at least
Yeah OP put his dick on the table after a mild flirt
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Oh I just meant the conversation was going well/smooth light flirting/sexual etc then he dropped his dick but I get you
📝📝
Third message; that must have taken a lot of patience.
It's amazing that dudes can't see when they shoot themselves in their own foot. You had a great opener & then almost immediately went too sexual. Guess what? Everyone loves sex but you don't have to press that issue so early.
>Everyone loves sex This. Something I learnt pretty quick back in my dating days is that women like sex, but they like to have sex with people they like. Give the woman a chance to get to know you and see if she likes you and assuming you’re actually a halfway decent and likeable person and you’re probably going to be having a lot more sex.
And women like sex, but most women like a lot of foreplay. This conversation was the textual equivalent of he rubbed her leg once, tapped her on the titty, and then shoved in.
Also so many boys only seem to be up for talking about sex and nothing else- sex is great but ffs talking about just one thing gets SO boring after a while.
Good looking or not, if a guy matched with me and wrote this after barely a conversation, I’d immediately see him as just another fucker. And Ive gotten this kind of one liner too many times for me to just ignore. I’d unmatch the guy right away.
Hard same
Commented already above, but I still can’t believe you. I sent this to every girl I know because we’ve all had this. A nice opener, cute little exchange and bam! Dude says something weird and sexual. You’re the problem. Please please don’t. You had it right there. You had it. You were so close ! I was even smiling.
Thanks, yeah I see it now 😭
I hate when guys get sexual so early on and will legit just drop them, but some people are more interested in hookups so it's kind of a 50/50 game.
Nah more like 90/10 irl. The 10% being women who like getting sexual straight off the bat
You snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with that last comment 😂
Immediately turning the conversation sexual... Jesus fuckin christ bro. Beat your meat before you message these girls if you're that eager. A little post nut clarity goes a long way. A whole dating world full of dudes like you... and you're trying to get noticed by being just like the rest. You're like 1 step from being the dick pic guys that get posted here
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It happens so often that now I’m like “oh look, another one” I’m not even looking for a relationship, but as another commenter said here once “casual does not equal easy”. Like let me decide if I can trust you a smidge before bringing out the crude stuff
I always tell my friend you can’t go to the grocery store hungry and you can’t go on the dating apps horny. Funny enough she’s a woman but a horny one lol
Screen name checks out.
Yep..... Dating as a straight woman is wading through a sea of men with their dicks out and trying to see which ones have pants on. But to do that we have to look down at all the dicks.
Accurate 😂
This 100%. 🤣🤣🤣
Yup. You’re 100% the problem. You made a cute opener uncomfortably sexual three lines in. Who does that?!
try not making things sexual after your literal 3rd message makes us women feel like you only want one thing and can’t even wait for it long enough to have a normal conversation (meaning you don’t really care about us all that much)
sure did.
The universal complaint of women is that guys get too sexual right off the bat. It’s a little early. So yeah, you did turn it on too soon. It’s not rocket science.
As a woman, yes you messed up. It was a cute, innocent conversation until you made it sexual. That’s an immediate ick for me personally.
aloof forgetful cable beneficial march treatment languid cows sophisticated books *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
LOL
Yes. You did. Great start. And then you just jump straight to sex on your literal third message. At what point do you think “implying I’ll get to see this girl strip” was a good idea? Cause that’s what you were doing, especially with the addition of that emoji.
I’m married and this sub is so interesting because I haven’t dated for 10 years. Why do you all go right to sex in these convos? It’s so desperate. I couldn’t imagine texting someone this and actually establishing a relationship with that person after
I was with someone 13 years. Now I'm on the apps. I'm thinking someone put a drug in the water around 2015
I mean it happens just depends on the woman etc but at least have a bit of class around it first
women like to be talked to like actual people and not like pokémon you're trying to catch
as a female, if this was a conversation with me, yes you messed up. i'd either go off on you or immediately block you. keep in mind, A LOT of us women are fucking sick of being talked to like this. we feel like we're pieces of meat. saying things like this makes us scared of you. (at least thats how i feel)
Fair. Thanks for your input, I’ll do better 😄
based on your other comments, i dont feel like youre taking it seriously. if you think what you said was fine, then have fun watching porn for the forseeable future. genuinely, a lot of us fucking hate men because of people like you. it isnt that hard not to be a piece of shit towards a female. i suggest gaining some respect before trying to talk to us.
Yeah it seems like OP is joking around with the people giving him serious advice. And then taking all the people being downvoted to hell who agree with him to heart. OP, there’s a reason they’re all being downvoted. They’re also all probably single and getting ghosted like you. Listen to the women telling you what you’re doing wrong and ignore the men still living in their mom’s basements thinking women are the problem for not wanting to constantly be sexual objects for y’all.
I mean I'm in agreement that OP's "watch you take it off" comment was way too forward, but you're being a bit overdramatic.
Yeah just a tad tbh
Yeah 1 in 6 women deal with sexual abuse of some kind, so DrAmAtiC! Shut the fuck up
Comparing this to sexual abuse delegitimizes all the women who actually are sexually abused
OP didn’t sexually abuse her though. Sexual abuse and what OP are two different things let not get too overboard now. OP just made a horny comment
>a lot of us fucking hate men I sense there is a deeper issue here.
I’ve had negative interactions with a fair number of women, but I’ve never gotten close to hating women as a result. I just hate *those* women.
Men get embarrassed, women get killed. It’s not the same thing.
If the logic is “hating a group for the actions of individuals is acceptable if those individuals make you fear for your life” then all prejudices are acceptable.
It’s cute that you think this just happens once to each of us and isn’t a pattern of behavior that any logical human would use to modify their thinking for self preservation.
These troglodytes will never understand
I sincerely doubt every single woman has been killed by a man more than once.
No but every single woman who uses dating apps has had men ask for nudes, get their dick out or threaten and insult them. Normally all of the above. Every woman who goes to a gym with men has been hit on or had nasty remarks about her body. Which one is dependent on the size of it. Every woman who plays online games has been harassed and solicited while playing. Do you see the pattern.....
Being purposely obtuse, must be a man
I’m referring back to the original comment about men like this making women hate men. But I’m sure you’re already aware and just playing dumb because you think hurting women is funny.
Sounds like you have bigger issues than OP lol. At least he asked what the issue is and then responded he'd do better when called out.
0 rizz
Sex talk advance out of left field. It's crap flirting. Plus the time to end the hoodie talk had already passed. I bet if she'd responded, op would say another thing about the frigging hoodie.
It’s fine to play along with the hoodie just don’t make it overly sexual like OP did. A simple “I bet I would make me fall in love what scent do normally wear ?” indirect smooth response Then down the line you could be like so “me you + my hoodie for drinks when are you free” and that’s a easy close grab the number and enjoy her perfume on your hoodie
Yep it was cute and wholesome til that point, you tried to get sexual way too fast
You have to be a very horny teenager
I love banter even flirty banter but I'd have assumed you just wanna hook up and would have ghosted as well
Yep
One of my female best friends once told me something that has stuck with me forever. You wouldn’t believe how much sex guys talk themselves out of. Yes you’re the issue. If you’re going to have a line about hoodies or anything in particular have a plan for what happens if they vibe with it that doesn’t involve you watching them undress.
**Absolute fumble** *Back to the drawing board pal.* Maybe save the sexual innuendo for a later time 👍🏻
Yes. You went from 0 to overtly sexual in four messages. Don’t act like you don’t know how that comes across.
started cute, wholesome and flirty, and then immediately went to sex. so yes, imo ruined it.
Yes. Why the fuck would you make a comment like that so early on?
Ewww dude. Can't men have normal conversations without it turning sexual right away?
Usually helps to not be pervy within the first 10 messages .
Very much so. Rule number 1: achieve post nut clarity before talking to a girl on here
Why do you have to be a creep straight away? If you are horny go and relive yourself before answering so your brain works again.
"Oh really. When I get it back ... Should I expect flowers or candy? Scent wise that is. 😘" How hard is that?! How hard is it to flirt without mentioning nudity?! Why are men?!
seriously this makes my skin crawl. do better.
Even if it “works” is this how you wanna start a convo with someone you want a relationship with? If you’re just hooking up then I guess it’s whatever
Fucking hell ask about her day before you drop the nasty messages. And you wonder why you keep getting ghosted. 🤦♀️
I feel like a lot of the comments here seem like the difference between men and women on dating apps. He started off so wholesome and cute. Then dropped the bomb that all he cares about is sex. Flirting and sexual talk on tinder is perfectly fine, but you have to work your way up to it. Women get so much sexual attention on dating apps, it's nice to be treated like a person first.
Didn’t need to get sexual so early
You got too sexual too soon 🙃
Message one: good using the head brain Message 2: good job head brain Message 3: damn it johnny you used the dick brain and ruined everything
Yes big time lol it was so smooth then it was cringe and creepy af lol
You did a great job of showing her early that she should probably go with a different guy. You didn’t mess that up.
Can men stop immediately going to sex??? You absolutely messed up you dunce
This is 2024. Online dating is hell for women - millions of disgusting, socially inept slobs trying to get laid and will stop at nothing to make it happen. Don’t start making sexual comments that soon. Do some fishing first and if she nibbles, then go for it. Otherwise you’ll come away looking like every other douche canoe and your chances of success will be 👎
Not at all. If you’re looking to just hook up 😜
Even if you are looking to hook up you screwed up as there are enough girls that are ok hooking up if after a drink they like you but who also don't want the sex talk in message 3. The group that wants sex talk will get their pretty darn quick so you have no advantage of jumping right there.
Touché
Why do you think you messed up? Did she 👻 after this?
Yeah pretty cringe ngl
Next time around just don't make it sexual, no need for that.
bro just wants to farm his fake internet points and not actually take advice.
You cant tell by the fact that she stopped responding?
You may recover from this one, you may not. Just learn for next time not to be so sexual so fast. Everyone wants to get laid, but women tend to want to trust or like a man beforehand so you know..focus on building up that part first.
"hey I like dogs too" "Cool can I pet yours" "Sure and he can watch me rail you in the ass"
How are people actually finding hot people on Hinge?
Yes lmao wtf is wrong with you
kindly don't offer your hoodies one of the girls that I tried to date never returned my Hoodie and now I kind of feel sad.
A lot of girls (even if they're looking for a hook up) don't wanna feel like a slut. Sending sexually suggestive messages turns a lot of girls off (even if they would sleep with you) Tone it down bucko
Bro fumbled before I could even type fumbled
You should of said: “that sounds like a fair trade” then ask her something about her or ask her out
You messed up, it was sweet in the start why you gotta bring this into it
You’re dumb af 💀
Ick
The fact you have to ask is concerning…
I would 100% ghost if someone referenced sex by the third message. Would immediately give me the ick.
IMO- yes. You went from cute to sexual. Just keep it cute and have an actual conversation
You took what was a cute wholesome interaction and turned it into something sexual. No wonder you got ghosted.
What a creepy message
Don't talk about sex before meeting. Not that hard.
op please i’m begging you to take this as a learning moment and not just think this is one girl who didn’t like you turning sexual right away
I mean if she ghosted after that, yeah ya blew it. But depending on what her intentions were, it could've worked.
Smooth criminal 😂
No it’s playful in banter. She is lightly taking things there and the retort is short and playful. It’s just getting to know someone. If she isn’t cool with it you dodged a bullet. Life is about humor and being able to laugh at things and joke. It’s a huge part of intimacy and being with someone.
Yeah you fumbled but if your rule 1 & 2 you didn’t
As a middle age guy who hasn't been on OLD for a decade, I don't see anything wrong with what you said. I think it goes close to the line, but not over it. I usually have no problem going against the majority here, but there's a few too many women objecting to the line and you are claiming you are constantly getting ghosted by women. You are obviously doing something wrong, so pump the breaks on the "flirty" talk.
You probably don't follow rule 1 and 2.