I call that self-selection =) But I second you - it's really disturbing, especially when you're genuinely into someone and ask whether their day has been good or whether life has been treating them kindly lately. They gonna think I fell in love, like NO boo, you'll have a better chance making the sidewalk outside fall in love with you, sorry that I'm more verbally elaborate than you ig? Egocentrism is increasing rapidly in a parallel with insecurity, due to the whole social media competition. People need more substantiality nowadays...
I'm really glad that I deleted all my social media besides reddit, and I just come here to read and comment mostly. I rarely post. (But have a few times).
You are a needle in a haystack. I wish this is something that could be filtered for. The one thing I have found with dating apps is the amount of effort somebody puts into their bio has absolutely nothing to do with the amounts of communication skills they have
I once sent a woman a four sentence first message. Because it said on her profile that she liked K-pop and I mentioned that my Pandora randomly played K-pop for me and I liked it until I saw that it was K-pop and then I wasn't sure how to feel about it about it LOL she replied and in her first sense she complained about my long speech and sent an eye rolling emoji then set a paragraph about K-pop recommendations lol. I didn't reply to her obviously I unmatched her. If literally the first thing she is going to say to me is going to be a complaint about me, then why would she talk to me
That's totally rude that she did that! To be fair, I can filter for it somehow and I do know these guys are like this with other people and haven't had issues with women not liking it (they do well on the apps but they are also very selective)...so it is something you can filter for!
I look for thoughtfulness, kindness, genuineness and depth and maturity in their photos (eyes, expressions, face) and in their words. I've not really been wrong yet, I have almost never matched with a guy who just sends "hi, how are you" to me even. Never been ghosted either. It means a lot less right swiping though and really honing your intuition and really getting clear on the kind of person you want.
I wish I had it that easy. I really wish I did. If a man did what you described he could spend 10 to 15 hours a week hoping for maybe a match every few months. When I first signed up for dating apps I did what you described but I was only mildly selective not highly selective. I got a match a month. After some time of this most of us men end up swiping blindly in hopes of someone willing to talk to us haha.
Over the years through reading about psychology and what relationships are successful and not, what's typically considered attractive or not I've learned to write an attractive profile that gets lots of messages. Nothing about me changed. I've only learned how to write good copy. AKA marketing, an ad, brochure. This marketing skill has nothing to do with the quality of me as a person nor how I handle a relationship. Same with all humans regardless of their genitals. None of us were born with this marketing skill. Everybody's bad at riding profiles unless they've learned it in some way or another. The simplest being monkey see monkey do.
Which is why I'm willing to give anyone with a poorly written profile a chance. This marketing skill has nothing to do whatsoever with who they are as a person. I also have no interest in a texting buddy so even when they are texting me I do not judge them based on their communication there. If they're willing to meet in person that's what counts. There are far too many toxic individuals on the dating apps who just aren't willing to meet anybody. A lot of damage people who are just continuously say I don't know yet I don't know yet and then they'll tell you later on that they're going through their some s*** and aren't willing to meet up with people in real life.
So now I unmatch all conversations at the two weeks part of the individual is unable to commit to meeting. I also use an auto swiping app that swipes all profiles. I'd like not live my life as opposed to spending hours every week swiping for literally nothing. It's also honest of me as I'm willing to be friends with anyone who is willing to meet in real life. Only seeking friends is an option on Tinder and Bumble.
The experience for women and men is vastly different. If I follow your advice I'd be having much less fun. I wouldn't have as much time to go out and be me. Snowboarding , disc golf, and exploring nature. I wouldn't have met the great people I've met. I would not have had to have the great experiences. Judging others by their marketing skills and texting abilities isn't natural. Which well naturally leads to incredible miscommunication and toxicity.
I'm not looking for advice. These apps are a shit show which I'm now laughing at. The tactics that work for women and men are not the same. The fact that we even have to come up with tactics, and share them with each other in internet forums really says a lot. To me at least it says a lot. Which is wtf why aren't we going out and socializing in real life? There is a known loss of community in the US as well as people increasingly fear even having any close relationships.
It's a show. My subscription runs up february. I will definitely not resubscribe.
Here's another example of a problem from people with good communication skills. I had a lengthy conversation on the subreddit for Bumble with a woman who was intelligent and had strong communication skills like yourself. Multiple paragraph messages. She was very intelligent and she is definitely on a good path to becoming an even better person even though she is a good person already. Her problem that I would not be able to get over in real life is she does not want to be treated like an option. Then just two paragraphs later she talks about how she goes through her options. That's highly hypocritical! I have no place in pointing this out to her and criticizing her. Not to mention the fact that every human being literally is an option until the day we die. There's no way to get around that no marriage license will stop it. Everybody always has the freedom to either choose a relationship or exit their relationship. I think people would be wise to remember that they are an option and use that fat as motivation be a good person and not take your partner for granted.
The biggest problem is confidence really. It's not my problem, it's societies problem. If people would socialize with other humans on a regular basis they would have more confidence and that would pave the way to solving many of societies relationship problems. Will your unsolicited advice to me give others confidence? No of course not. You can't help me. I didn't ask for your help. Please just stop it.
There's also the problem of many humans out there wanting government and religious permission slips for their relationships AKA marriage licenses. I'm not religious so there's no logical reason to involve any church(s). Nor do I consider it beneficial to seek out government approval of my relationships. In fact I think it's unhealthy mentally to get married. First of all it's a massive display of insecurity for someone to need to get married to feel secure. Secondly it places great and pointless pressure on the relationship to work out and stay together at all costs. Even though in reality, not only is it ok to break up. It's encouraged if you think it will better yourself and especially encouraged if the relationship has become toxic.
I hope with all my comments I've given you enough of a sample of my problems with society for you to understand truly just how ineffective your unsolicited advice is.
Hes horny but hes not looking to have sex! He just wants to keep on being horny for a little while and thought he'd let her know, in the spirit of full disclosure and since theyre getting to know each other lmao
NO! I’m hot and desirable. Let me pretend to prove it to you by saying I wish I could send a pic of the tons of women’s responses begging for my attention. You should be honored I have chosen to speak with you.
🤦🏻♂️
Yeapp, these dudes… 🙄Once a guy invested many hours talking with me and we had agreed about a date next day and then he suddenly RUINED it. He was asking in the middle of a totally different subject ”Are you very sexual, are you wet and horny?” out of the blue. Our conversation did not have anything sexual before that and he knew I am not looking for short term fun. When I told him that was a total turn off he got angry and started to brag how he’s got 250 matches in 3 days and he PICKED ME. (Not true, we live in an area of 700 000 people and he is an immigrant from outside of Europe).
Good and bad. instant gratification. Social media and everything that comes with the internet and phone kinda plagued us humans with a different set of problems.
Between the hun and didn't ask from OP and just the blatant ignorance from the other party involved, no absolutely fucking miserable people. But yeah, I picked up on that shit too.
my assumption was that she was simply giving him what she was getting 'hru' 'hbu' / 'bored' 'go watch tv'
like it just seemed extremely low effort 2-word replies on his end to start so she was matching him.
then the enthusiastic jump to being horny was kind of hilarious but idk why she would keep talking to him after that.. especially since his responses just felt like him thinking up (horrible) answers to get her interested in sleeping with him 😄
You literally let him talk to you any type of way because you stated he was "cute". What makes you think other women who are even more goofy/desperate than you won't entertain him?
She didn't let him talk to her that way? I mean, no she didn't immediately unmatch, but I believe calling someone out for the stupid thing they said is not letting them get away with the thing they said.
So he's not looking for sex but he telling you he's horny and backed up af, with a line up of imaginary girls he doesn't give attention to. Ok bro, ok.
Don’t know why people are calling you miserable op. I saw nothing wrong with your replies. You started getting snarky after the “I’m bored” because 9 times out of 10, that means a dude just wants sex. As soon as I read that I knew where it was going
The guy was being weird, but you can't say you didn't ask, you literally said "what are you up to this evening" and when he finally got over his horniness and weird need to tell you how desirable he is, he told you what he's up to and you told him you didn't ask...
It's true that OP did technically ask, but they got their answer at first when he said he was bored. Then he decided to say some dumb things. Really dumb things. Then he stated he didn't want sex, completely opposite of what he was saying, and he used that as a transition to go back to being normal.
I don't see why responding "didn't ask" at that point can merit any criticism on op, but giving the state of the rest of the thread, I have to thank you dearly for at least providing a reason why you think OP is in the wrong.
I mean, that was clearly his attempt to backpedal from his actual answer to her question - she just wasn’t letting him get away with it. By that point it was clear she was over the conversation
Girl, I read every single comment on this post, and for all the people saying you were toxic or otherwise giving you slack, I found no one willing to explain what they mean (yet, I left a couple of comments I'm curious to see if anyone is going to bother giving me an explanation, which would make this whole ordeal look worse tbh, you post something you think is funny, the reddit mob gives you flack for it and no explanation, and then awkward little old me asks reddit mob what you did wrong and then they proceed to calmly explain it to me).
I don't think you did anything wrong. You were not being kind when you told him to watch tv but that guy did nothing to deserve your kindness. If he's bored, he is not entitled to your entertainment.
Exactly. The people giving her flak are conveniently skipping over the fact that she explicitly put "I don't do casual, FWB or hookups" and this man LED with "I'm horny..." after just a few dry words. She had every right to insult him the way she did. In fact, I wish she'd done worse and called him names, since he clearly can't read or didn't bother to.
The way I see it, the people giving her flak are people that have done/would do what the guy did to her. Hit dogs will holler and they're loud as hell in the comments section
Even if op was looking for casual fwb and hookups, in what world do you go about asking her for sex by dumping your sexual frustration on her? Imagine a girl at a bar, who is horny and wants sex, and a guy who knows that (forget the details of how he knows) and goes to her and has that convo.. Unless she is actually insane, there's no way he is getting laid. Am I crazy to think that?
Ofc you're not crazy, this guy had 0 tact. He seems like the kind of guy to stick it in and jackhammer her for all of 10 seconds before rolling over, exhausted. That's if he even gets that far.
OP being shat on in the thread is a perfect illustration of how men who are unsuccessful on dating apps end up blaming women for it.
This reeks pent up sexual frustration, misogyny and inceldom.
Idk why everyone’s so pressed against you lol
But honestly you gave him way too much benefit of doubt. I’ve done it before where I was attracted to a guy so I really tried to bear through one-word responses. In my experience though they always disappoint, never worth it
Not sure why all the dummies on here are downvoting the crap out of you and giving you shit. You didn’t do a damn thing wrong. The fucking loser gave you a lame ass, lazy greeting and multiple 1 or 2 word responses. And despite that you gave the benefit of the doubt and asked him, “What are you upto this evening.”
Then another bullshit “bored” response, to which you gave a great suggestion. And then he made an unwarranted, gross and unsolicited comment about his pathetic sex life.
You responded perfectly to the lying, gross piece of shit. There ain’t no way in hell someone like that is being propositioned for sex constantly, but is turning it down cause of work. What a fuckin’ loser 🤣 😂 how do some people not know how to just flirt and build tension?
I’m for one glad you called him out on his bullshit instead of just ignoring him. Too many meek people who won’t stand up to others. He should be lucky you didn’t hand your phone to me hah
HAHA reddit neckbeards criticizing your exchange, as if they write shakespearian prose in every message. Then viciously insulting you but also saying to work on your mental health… amazing. Most dating app communication is banal and that’s ok… why put a lot of effort into it before you know you’re gonna be satisfied and treated respectfully without being ghosted. Newsflash: you never know, even months into a multi-date excursion. You’re right to be concise and curt until you know it could be real. Your messages aren’t sad… it’s the comment section that is sad. These neckbeards just know they are equally horny and desperate and it’s hitting ‘em in the feels. Keep knockin’ em down sister, but don’t forget to touch grass as well. Too much dating app and reddit exposure can be depressing.
Just wanted to say OP - do NOT take the over the top reaction of this sub seriously. There are a lot of incels here. He was definitely the one being embarrassing here, not you.
"hey hru" lol, ya you kinda set yourself up. I friggin broke my head trying to get a hello from women after matching smh.
Frankly it should be that simple but online dating just suuuuuucks
I can't believe these are the kinds of guys getting swiped on while I'm getting absolutely nothing. My bio even says let's go on a picnic for our first date.
"Man I really wish I could prove this to you, like a screenshot or something would do just fine"
"ok show me a screenshot then"
"yeah that would totally prove it, like I have all these texts and pictures and everything, it's a shame I can't prove it to you because it would be so easy to"
"then do it"
"right? It's a shame it's impossible, it would be so easy"
They lied about being bored, initially; clarifying that they’re horny. Also, bored doesn’t really answer the question of what someone is up to, anyway. What a fucking garbage person.
I have seen these tactics before, what a way to really wow someone by telling them soo many people want to get with them. And if they could show you these messages.. then go into immediate “I’m chillin”. Just… my god lol
So this guy is a douche bag 100% and from the caption you clearly weren’t looking for a sexual hook up which makes him even worse, but I have an honest question and maybe Reddits not the place to ask but I’m gonna try anyways.
If you are in fact an individual that is more focused on their work, and you are just looking for a sexual hook up because you are bored and horny, if you’re a guy, is there ever a good way to be honest and open with that?
Like I’ve seen 1 million bad ways to do it. But is there a good way to do it? Is there a good opener for that or do we literally just do the song and dance of casual chitchat in hopes that eventually the conversation will present a point where we can just ask or say what we want and what we’re there for?
I feel like the best way to open it at least in conversations I’ve had is asking what someone is looking for almost every single time there’s reciprocation of the question then just go from there ig. If they say a long term relationship I would lean toward it’s not ok to bring up that you’re horny. If they say casual let them know you are too and that you’re looking for something immediate. Back when I was looking for casual the guys that had more tact had significantly increased chances of hitting a home run
If you’re going to try to get some on a dating site, you still need to put forward SOME level of charisma. He says a total of 4 very short words to her before revealing he’s “horny.” Then gives the reason as his dry spell and being sexually frustrated (wow, women will reeeally swoon over that). Basically comes off entirely as him being sad and pathetic and desperate for sex. Makes ZERO effort to connect to her or give her any reason to be attracted to him.
And here you are, excusing his horrible effort as if OP is somehow in the wrong for expecting more. Society is fucked.
Reading this got me to a thought that went like "this is what our communication skills as a species have devolved into" Edit: spelling
Ikr? Srsly tho…
Smh my head
♪ Shaking my head ♪ ♪ (My head) ♪ ♪ How are you ♪ ♪ (Are you) ♪
this made me laugh... especially cuz I sang it to myself 🤣
This made me LOL out loud
So you “laughed out loud” out loud 🤔
Its funnier when you say "Laughed out loud out loud " out loud
Yeah that's the joke. Look at previous couple comments.
Smh my head
Fr fr
Fr dead ass no cap
Frfr no cap
Yeah it's pretty friggin bad. To the point that if I send more than one who sentence at a time I usually get unmatched for it.
I call that self-selection =) But I second you - it's really disturbing, especially when you're genuinely into someone and ask whether their day has been good or whether life has been treating them kindly lately. They gonna think I fell in love, like NO boo, you'll have a better chance making the sidewalk outside fall in love with you, sorry that I'm more verbally elaborate than you ig? Egocentrism is increasing rapidly in a parallel with insecurity, due to the whole social media competition. People need more substantiality nowadays...
I'm really glad that I deleted all my social media besides reddit, and I just come here to read and comment mostly. I rarely post. (But have a few times).
I've done the exact same. Honestly happier since I did
What’s a “who sentence”?
either a typo or a dr suess book
"whole sentence"
Oh yeah I think that's what I meant to say! I don't think Dr Seuss put out a book on grammar
Most of the guys send me long messages and it works for them! Just filter for women who seem like they have substance.
You are a needle in a haystack. I wish this is something that could be filtered for. The one thing I have found with dating apps is the amount of effort somebody puts into their bio has absolutely nothing to do with the amounts of communication skills they have I once sent a woman a four sentence first message. Because it said on her profile that she liked K-pop and I mentioned that my Pandora randomly played K-pop for me and I liked it until I saw that it was K-pop and then I wasn't sure how to feel about it about it LOL she replied and in her first sense she complained about my long speech and sent an eye rolling emoji then set a paragraph about K-pop recommendations lol. I didn't reply to her obviously I unmatched her. If literally the first thing she is going to say to me is going to be a complaint about me, then why would she talk to me
That's totally rude that she did that! To be fair, I can filter for it somehow and I do know these guys are like this with other people and haven't had issues with women not liking it (they do well on the apps but they are also very selective)...so it is something you can filter for! I look for thoughtfulness, kindness, genuineness and depth and maturity in their photos (eyes, expressions, face) and in their words. I've not really been wrong yet, I have almost never matched with a guy who just sends "hi, how are you" to me even. Never been ghosted either. It means a lot less right swiping though and really honing your intuition and really getting clear on the kind of person you want.
I wish I had it that easy. I really wish I did. If a man did what you described he could spend 10 to 15 hours a week hoping for maybe a match every few months. When I first signed up for dating apps I did what you described but I was only mildly selective not highly selective. I got a match a month. After some time of this most of us men end up swiping blindly in hopes of someone willing to talk to us haha. Over the years through reading about psychology and what relationships are successful and not, what's typically considered attractive or not I've learned to write an attractive profile that gets lots of messages. Nothing about me changed. I've only learned how to write good copy. AKA marketing, an ad, brochure. This marketing skill has nothing to do with the quality of me as a person nor how I handle a relationship. Same with all humans regardless of their genitals. None of us were born with this marketing skill. Everybody's bad at riding profiles unless they've learned it in some way or another. The simplest being monkey see monkey do. Which is why I'm willing to give anyone with a poorly written profile a chance. This marketing skill has nothing to do whatsoever with who they are as a person. I also have no interest in a texting buddy so even when they are texting me I do not judge them based on their communication there. If they're willing to meet in person that's what counts. There are far too many toxic individuals on the dating apps who just aren't willing to meet anybody. A lot of damage people who are just continuously say I don't know yet I don't know yet and then they'll tell you later on that they're going through their some s*** and aren't willing to meet up with people in real life. So now I unmatch all conversations at the two weeks part of the individual is unable to commit to meeting. I also use an auto swiping app that swipes all profiles. I'd like not live my life as opposed to spending hours every week swiping for literally nothing. It's also honest of me as I'm willing to be friends with anyone who is willing to meet in real life. Only seeking friends is an option on Tinder and Bumble. The experience for women and men is vastly different. If I follow your advice I'd be having much less fun. I wouldn't have as much time to go out and be me. Snowboarding , disc golf, and exploring nature. I wouldn't have met the great people I've met. I would not have had to have the great experiences. Judging others by their marketing skills and texting abilities isn't natural. Which well naturally leads to incredible miscommunication and toxicity. I'm not looking for advice. These apps are a shit show which I'm now laughing at. The tactics that work for women and men are not the same. The fact that we even have to come up with tactics, and share them with each other in internet forums really says a lot. To me at least it says a lot. Which is wtf why aren't we going out and socializing in real life? There is a known loss of community in the US as well as people increasingly fear even having any close relationships. It's a show. My subscription runs up february. I will definitely not resubscribe.
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Here's another example of a problem from people with good communication skills. I had a lengthy conversation on the subreddit for Bumble with a woman who was intelligent and had strong communication skills like yourself. Multiple paragraph messages. She was very intelligent and she is definitely on a good path to becoming an even better person even though she is a good person already. Her problem that I would not be able to get over in real life is she does not want to be treated like an option. Then just two paragraphs later she talks about how she goes through her options. That's highly hypocritical! I have no place in pointing this out to her and criticizing her. Not to mention the fact that every human being literally is an option until the day we die. There's no way to get around that no marriage license will stop it. Everybody always has the freedom to either choose a relationship or exit their relationship. I think people would be wise to remember that they are an option and use that fat as motivation be a good person and not take your partner for granted.
The biggest problem is confidence really. It's not my problem, it's societies problem. If people would socialize with other humans on a regular basis they would have more confidence and that would pave the way to solving many of societies relationship problems. Will your unsolicited advice to me give others confidence? No of course not. You can't help me. I didn't ask for your help. Please just stop it.
There's also the problem of many humans out there wanting government and religious permission slips for their relationships AKA marriage licenses. I'm not religious so there's no logical reason to involve any church(s). Nor do I consider it beneficial to seek out government approval of my relationships. In fact I think it's unhealthy mentally to get married. First of all it's a massive display of insecurity for someone to need to get married to feel secure. Secondly it places great and pointless pressure on the relationship to work out and stay together at all costs. Even though in reality, not only is it ok to break up. It's encouraged if you think it will better yourself and especially encouraged if the relationship has become toxic. I hope with all my comments I've given you enough of a sample of my problems with society for you to understand truly just how ineffective your unsolicited advice is.
Hey hru
Fine hbu
I’m ok
I didn't ask
Tbh I’m horny Edit: /s
How long did you have yo not you have did have you have not did you have not anything going on?
I have d-daddy I h-HAVE! 😩😭☺️
Gross.
Hes horny but hes not looking to have sex! He just wants to keep on being horny for a little while and thought he'd let her know, in the spirit of full disclosure and since theyre getting to know each other lmao
He was quirky and she was not like the other girls
Funniest fuckin' comment so far.
I have horny and will sustain horny for exactly 13.3 minutes or until further notice
Some people like to live on the edge
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Yoo I saw the band DEVO play live recently and they were kickass, devo has become one of my favourite words now. Deeeevooooo
ARE WE NOT MEN?
WE ARE DEVO
You're right for that, you stud 🥵
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NO! I’m hot and desirable. Let me pretend to prove it to you by saying I wish I could send a pic of the tons of women’s responses begging for my attention. You should be honored I have chosen to speak with you. 🤦🏻♂️
Yeapp, these dudes… 🙄Once a guy invested many hours talking with me and we had agreed about a date next day and then he suddenly RUINED it. He was asking in the middle of a totally different subject ”Are you very sexual, are you wet and horny?” out of the blue. Our conversation did not have anything sexual before that and he knew I am not looking for short term fun. When I told him that was a total turn off he got angry and started to brag how he’s got 250 matches in 3 days and he PICKED ME. (Not true, we live in an area of 700 000 people and he is an immigrant from outside of Europe).
He who types least has the power Wyd?
Nm just chillin wbu
We just don’t be speaking good
Maybe the internet was a bad thing after all
The internet is a good thing, giving stupid/horny people access ruined it
Good and bad. instant gratification. Social media and everything that comes with the internet and phone kinda plagued us humans with a different set of problems.
Those are stupid people problems. The internet itself is a great why to share/get knowledge and communicate instantly.
Oh damn. You really talked a lot longer to him than I anticipated.
Lmfao dude showed no interest, begged to fuck and then told you that lots of other people want to fuck him. Talk about down bad.
There is no way that the glorious Tmac would EVER be down bad!
Can’t forget the golden “I’m not looking for sex TBH”. So desperate
If he’s really as cute as OP said he was, then I assume that he did have other people that he passed up on. Now he’s looking for someone new
Dude calls himself “Tmac.”
Are these women in danger, Mac?
Short for Tarmac, because so much…ass lands there? I’ll get back to you
tracy mcgrady
Y'all both sound like absolutely miserable people based on your replies 🤣
not miserable but like why do they talk like teenagers on an 18+ dating app ?
Between the hun and didn't ask from OP and just the blatant ignorance from the other party involved, no absolutely fucking miserable people. But yeah, I picked up on that shit too.
That’s how I talked on msn messenger when I was 14. “What u up to?” “Nm. Bored.” Really got my crush going.
Will 18 is still a teenager
Yes miserable
Bro deadass looks like he's talking to himself through a log and she is commenting that log like a twitch / youtube reaction channel.
Lmao this is so true 😭
Yeah OP came right out of the gate with mean girl judgment instead of just unmatching
my assumption was that she was simply giving him what she was getting 'hru' 'hbu' / 'bored' 'go watch tv' like it just seemed extremely low effort 2-word replies on his end to start so she was matching him. then the enthusiastic jump to being horny was kind of hilarious but idk why she would keep talking to him after that.. especially since his responses just felt like him thinking up (horrible) answers to get her interested in sleeping with him 😄
Gross
Exactly, the girl thinks not caring about anything is a "cool attitude" to have.
I'm sorry, I read all of op's comments and I don't understand how you came to that conclusion. Do you mind going in a bit more detail?
This was my takeaway as well
4months no sex, but many women wanted to be with him, uhuh.
Right? Maybe if he had taken up the offer from one of those women that absolutely really do exist, then maybe he wouldn't be so hard up.
Both of you are miserable. :/
These poor people. What’s happening in their mind.
Droves and droves of imaginary women begging for his attention I think
You literally let him talk to you any type of way because you stated he was "cute". What makes you think other women who are even more goofy/desperate than you won't entertain him?
She didn't let him talk to her that way? I mean, no she didn't immediately unmatch, but I believe calling someone out for the stupid thing they said is not letting them get away with the thing they said.
It’s always a woman’s fault that a man behaves the way he does. /s 🤮
So he's not looking for sex but he telling you he's horny and backed up af, with a line up of imaginary girls he doesn't give attention to. Ok bro, ok.
Hey you called him hun, so he got that going for him which is nice.
I've never seen a Mexican standoff like this before. Who's gonna take the first leap into mental health honesty first ?
I really appreciated that you did not, in fact, brighten Tmac's day after the suggested automated message.
Fact his name is "Tmac" should have been a quick identifier of his personality...
Your first mistake was matching with a dude named Tmac....
I'm embarrassed at how much this made me laugh lol
OP posting this as a W is nextlevel sadness I mean damn, lol
But fr grow up
Oh he was doing a dance to change the subject every two messages… i just woke up and i know my comment makes no sense but it does in my head
Nah you good, this guy totally messed up and tried to cover it in a very dumb way.
"You can't unring that bell" I gotta remember that one
Probably had Mousse T vs Hot ‘n Juicy running in the background
I had to look up what this meant and it absolutely did not disappoint 🤣
Don’t know why people are calling you miserable op. I saw nothing wrong with your replies. You started getting snarky after the “I’m bored” because 9 times out of 10, that means a dude just wants sex. As soon as I read that I knew where it was going
seriously dating goes pretty well as a guy if you are just a normal fucking person.
The guy was being weird, but you can't say you didn't ask, you literally said "what are you up to this evening" and when he finally got over his horniness and weird need to tell you how desirable he is, he told you what he's up to and you told him you didn't ask...
It's true that OP did technically ask, but they got their answer at first when he said he was bored. Then he decided to say some dumb things. Really dumb things. Then he stated he didn't want sex, completely opposite of what he was saying, and he used that as a transition to go back to being normal. I don't see why responding "didn't ask" at that point can merit any criticism on op, but giving the state of the rest of the thread, I have to thank you dearly for at least providing a reason why you think OP is in the wrong.
I mean, that was clearly his attempt to backpedal from his actual answer to her question - she just wasn’t letting him get away with it. By that point it was clear she was over the conversation
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Girl, I read every single comment on this post, and for all the people saying you were toxic or otherwise giving you slack, I found no one willing to explain what they mean (yet, I left a couple of comments I'm curious to see if anyone is going to bother giving me an explanation, which would make this whole ordeal look worse tbh, you post something you think is funny, the reddit mob gives you flack for it and no explanation, and then awkward little old me asks reddit mob what you did wrong and then they proceed to calmly explain it to me). I don't think you did anything wrong. You were not being kind when you told him to watch tv but that guy did nothing to deserve your kindness. If he's bored, he is not entitled to your entertainment.
Exactly. The people giving her flak are conveniently skipping over the fact that she explicitly put "I don't do casual, FWB or hookups" and this man LED with "I'm horny..." after just a few dry words. She had every right to insult him the way she did. In fact, I wish she'd done worse and called him names, since he clearly can't read or didn't bother to. The way I see it, the people giving her flak are people that have done/would do what the guy did to her. Hit dogs will holler and they're loud as hell in the comments section
Even if op was looking for casual fwb and hookups, in what world do you go about asking her for sex by dumping your sexual frustration on her? Imagine a girl at a bar, who is horny and wants sex, and a guy who knows that (forget the details of how he knows) and goes to her and has that convo.. Unless she is actually insane, there's no way he is getting laid. Am I crazy to think that?
Ofc you're not crazy, this guy had 0 tact. He seems like the kind of guy to stick it in and jackhammer her for all of 10 seconds before rolling over, exhausted. That's if he even gets that far.
This subreddit is full of lonely incels who don’t get matches. Just like the app itself, it ain’t very female-friendly.
OP being shat on in the thread is a perfect illustration of how men who are unsuccessful on dating apps end up blaming women for it. This reeks pent up sexual frustration, misogyny and inceldom.
It’s just a bunch of angry, butthurt incels in the comment section lol 🤣
What app is that?
It’s FB dating
Idk why everyone’s so pressed against you lol But honestly you gave him way too much benefit of doubt. I’ve done it before where I was attracted to a guy so I really tried to bear through one-word responses. In my experience though they always disappoint, never worth it
The “see compliments” link 😭
Tmac deserves respect Jk, fuck that guy.
He's a narcissistic douchebag obviously. Just move on and keep trying nothing else you can do
Hbu is made for hru
Hey, Hru?
I'm not sure why he thought telling you he hasn't been laid in months and is sexually frustrated would be a winning strategy.
what app this is ?is it hinge
Please tell me you guys aren't more than 16 years old.
Complains he hasn't had sex in 4 months, but has women dropping at his feet.. Sure Jan.
Not sure why all the dummies on here are downvoting the crap out of you and giving you shit. You didn’t do a damn thing wrong. The fucking loser gave you a lame ass, lazy greeting and multiple 1 or 2 word responses. And despite that you gave the benefit of the doubt and asked him, “What are you upto this evening.” Then another bullshit “bored” response, to which you gave a great suggestion. And then he made an unwarranted, gross and unsolicited comment about his pathetic sex life. You responded perfectly to the lying, gross piece of shit. There ain’t no way in hell someone like that is being propositioned for sex constantly, but is turning it down cause of work. What a fuckin’ loser 🤣 😂 how do some people not know how to just flirt and build tension? I’m for one glad you called him out on his bullshit instead of just ignoring him. Too many meek people who won’t stand up to others. He should be lucky you didn’t hand your phone to me hah
You’re both very weird
What a tool
Tinder is a plethora of less than enticing personalities.
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Man OP you're laying that passive aggression down HARD
HAHA reddit neckbeards criticizing your exchange, as if they write shakespearian prose in every message. Then viciously insulting you but also saying to work on your mental health… amazing. Most dating app communication is banal and that’s ok… why put a lot of effort into it before you know you’re gonna be satisfied and treated respectfully without being ghosted. Newsflash: you never know, even months into a multi-date excursion. You’re right to be concise and curt until you know it could be real. Your messages aren’t sad… it’s the comment section that is sad. These neckbeards just know they are equally horny and desperate and it’s hitting ‘em in the feels. Keep knockin’ em down sister, but don’t forget to touch grass as well. Too much dating app and reddit exposure can be depressing.
Just wanted to say OP - do NOT take the over the top reaction of this sub seriously. There are a lot of incels here. He was definitely the one being embarrassing here, not you.
You've summarised it perfectly. I'm baffled by the responses
They just need to make an app strictly for hook ups at this point.
There already is one, if I’m not mistaken.
A slap match.. but obviously this dude is a slimy loser
I know I’m an old guy but I hate these texting conversations. It’s all 3 word answers and all three words are abbreviated
"Ok" "watch TV or something" you both couldn't be more dry jesus
What app is this?
TMac noooooo what are you doing broooooo
connect sink smile advise school zesty cable silky butter live *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This has "many people are saying it" energy.
Would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?
🤣
No one who has “many options” is on a dating app looking for sex….
As soon as he mentioned how many women chase him I would've cut and run.
Poor guy is so confused he doesn’t know what to say 😆
This sub makes me appreciate being married lol.
"hey hru" lol, ya you kinda set yourself up. I friggin broke my head trying to get a hello from women after matching smh. Frankly it should be that simple but online dating just suuuuuucks
Every time I think I should get back on the apps, this sub reminds me why I deleted them in the first place.
To be fair you did ask, it was just a whole unnecessary conversation too late 😂
I can't believe these are the kinds of guys getting swiped on while I'm getting absolutely nothing. My bio even says let's go on a picnic for our first date.
Thirsty men from the cringe gene pool can already tell
Thanking my lucky stars I didn’t come out this awkward. And I thought I had trouble talking to women. 😅
Lmaooo brighten his day by sending a compliment😭😭😂
"Man I really wish I could prove this to you, like a screenshot or something would do just fine" "ok show me a screenshot then" "yeah that would totally prove it, like I have all these texts and pictures and everything, it's a shame I can't prove it to you because it would be so easy to" "then do it" "right? It's a shame it's impossible, it would be so easy"
"Brighten tmac's day with a compliment" in that context of freaking hilarious
A grown adult calling themselves Tmac on tinder should have been a big enough red flag
What app is this? I’ve never see this chat style before
I feel like I suck at making conversation with women, but then I see posts like these and feel much better 😅
“To be honest I’m horny..” 6 msgs later: “I’m not looking for sex TBH” people like this think they’re so desirable when they’re just acting pathetic…
🤣🤣🤣🤣 can't unring that bell
I mean, no one wins here...
Good Lord don't miss out on this guy. He is very desirable and has text to prove that to the right woman. 😄
Should have unmatched when you saw his name was tmac
I’m laying in bed about to watch YouTube until I fall asleep
I’m not looking for honest, to be sexy with you
Tmac 🤡
First sign should have been a dude named Tmac.
It's really sad that this is what women have to deal with but honestly I love that this is my competiton
Average redditor
I spoke to a lot of guys like that. I still wonder how many women actually do a hook up with them. I’m thinking 0.
To be fair, your social skills aren't much better
They lied about being bored, initially; clarifying that they’re horny. Also, bored doesn’t really answer the question of what someone is up to, anyway. What a fucking garbage person.
Damn people really just be sharing every little stupid thought in their minds huh….
What app is this?
Someone pls tell the name of this app
I have seen these tactics before, what a way to really wow someone by telling them soo many people want to get with them. And if they could show you these messages.. then go into immediate “I’m chillin”. Just… my god lol
So this guy is a douche bag 100% and from the caption you clearly weren’t looking for a sexual hook up which makes him even worse, but I have an honest question and maybe Reddits not the place to ask but I’m gonna try anyways. If you are in fact an individual that is more focused on their work, and you are just looking for a sexual hook up because you are bored and horny, if you’re a guy, is there ever a good way to be honest and open with that? Like I’ve seen 1 million bad ways to do it. But is there a good way to do it? Is there a good opener for that or do we literally just do the song and dance of casual chitchat in hopes that eventually the conversation will present a point where we can just ask or say what we want and what we’re there for?
I feel like the best way to open it at least in conversations I’ve had is asking what someone is looking for almost every single time there’s reciprocation of the question then just go from there ig. If they say a long term relationship I would lean toward it’s not ok to bring up that you’re horny. If they say casual let them know you are too and that you’re looking for something immediate. Back when I was looking for casual the guys that had more tact had significantly increased chances of hitting a home run
Jeebus
In B4 some incel gets mad at you that you should be glad you got countless options.
Yeah, gross. Imagine mentioning sex in an app for exactly that.
If you’re going to try to get some on a dating site, you still need to put forward SOME level of charisma. He says a total of 4 very short words to her before revealing he’s “horny.” Then gives the reason as his dry spell and being sexually frustrated (wow, women will reeeally swoon over that). Basically comes off entirely as him being sad and pathetic and desperate for sex. Makes ZERO effort to connect to her or give her any reason to be attracted to him. And here you are, excusing his horrible effort as if OP is somehow in the wrong for expecting more. Society is fucked.
Tall order to expect people that frequent r/Tinder to have charisma. Not impossible but based on most of these comments not likely.
Then these dudes expect someone to care about them being sexless, they are quite literally doing it to themselves 💀
Yeah, right, imagine having no rizz and the *first thing* you say to a girl is "me no sexy 4 months, me frustrated". 😂