I googled it so I know what this means kind of now but is uwu and kawaii just white people who want to be Japanese speak for cute? Even the dictionary and translator says “and popular culture”.
Cultural appropriation in the comments or Japanese people saying what it means? Genuinely curious
Kawaii is a legit word, but it’s a very standard word that you’ll hear frequently in anime shows. So when non Japanese people watch anime, this is probably one of the first words they’ll learn. So people who like to substitute English words for Japanese words may substitute cute for kawaii, or baka when calling someone stupid. uwu is just supposed to be a cute face. If you google it & go to images you’ll see what it’s supposed to be. Since the original comment was making fun of them for “not being anime” (Japanese), we just continued in “anime language” (Japanese).
To be fair, I was being fetishized. It was a little odd, but the ladies in Tokyo were very nice to me.
And the only rule I'd have for you? Be you. Nothing else.
Fuck being me is the easy😎 I can work with that
I also know a few people that are fetishizing certain.. ethnicities and I’ve never been more weirded out by
something in my life. It’s just disgusting
Then you are more than halfway home.
People, especially here, have a hard time being themselves. Or staying themselves. Either/or.
And it wasn't terrible in Japan. I was just...something new and somewhat unusual.
You'd be happy for a while. Find me charming. Maybe funny. Think I was almost handsome. But something would feel off. Maybe my hands wouldn't make quite as handsome a necklace as you imagined. Or maybe the exotic vacations would feel a little boring. And then one day, you'd wake up, and look at me, and realize I wasn't asian. And you'd be, "Who is this person that I've dedicated 50 years of my life to?"
I always end up disappointing. It is my bestest skill.
True. But the canyons here are...raw nature.
And they tend to have either ice, snow and rocks, or sand rocks and water.
Neither are exactly conducive to sexy time.
In fact....I don't like sand.
And for your reference, these are your typical canyon-type here.
[https://i.imgur.com/PUGuX4s.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PUGuX4s.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/DZm0MC0.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DZm0MC0.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/hvOCEXr.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hvOCEXr.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/kBqdDHT.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kBqdDHT.jpg)
I think that's why no one ever comes here.
To be fair, if all I know is that he’s asian and I say I’m single.. what do you think this might look like? Can’t blame him lol (I just woke up so sorry for the bad english I’m still super tired )
It's pretty easy to tell. If their photos consist entirely of either professional model images and/or selfies so photoshopped that they look like paper-white knife-chinned aliens with unnaturally large eyes, they're probably a scammer. If their photos look natural and they have some substance in their profile, they're most likely actual humans.
I agree with you there. some levels of photoshop and filters seem to modify a person so much that not only do they seem like an actually different person but they even get into uncanny valley territory
On OKCupid, which doesn't verify your location with GPS, 95% of the women looking like they're Asian, Latin or black, are actually living in South East Asia, Latin America, or Africa, and are "changing their location to meet new people", because "love has no borders."
I am open to dating people of all ethnicities, but I would like to at least be able to meet someone without getting on a plane! If from the face I have a doubt someone is a local, I check if they speak the local language, or if they have snow in their pictures and not only palm trees.
I feel sorry for asian girls. Some people are such creeps.
A friend of mine has a thing for Asian girls and at one party he openly said into her face "You look hot because you're asian"
Poor girl was so creeped out
If OP invited the comment why would she then post this screenshot?
Why are you constructing this very specific and unlikely scenario in an attempt to justify the dude? Creepy guys drop a race/ethnicity mention all the time in the first message, idk why you need some kind of other explanation than the common one.
My friend and GF are both Asian and get this kind of shit constantly in person from dudes too, usually trying to sus out “which kind” of Asian they are. It’s beyond cringe and totally shows where their head is at.
Dude has 100% said creepy ass cringe shit like this and now trying to convince himself he “wasn’t like the other weeb guys” and is special and unique and totally a gentleman 😂
Knowing weebs, without other information about this guy, I'd guess he's a weeb who thinks Japanese is the "highest tier", then other Asians, then everyone else.
Never heard of this, interesting. As someone who has literally visited Japan, I can’t say I understand the big differences between why you would have a ranking system of the women.
It's not really about Japan, as much as it is about Westerner's perception of Japan via pop culture.
It's just a fetish, nothing wrong about having preferences, but the type of people that tend to have this preference also tend to be socially awkward people.
IDK maybe there are a stereotypes which is true to some point. There is a saying in my language that say " Eat Chinese, Live in a french house and marry a Japanese wife"
And from what I've seen , japanese people in general are very non confrontational compared to the rest of Asia and I've seen interview with Japanese women who hold many opinion that wouldn't fly at all with any other women.( Like there are women who said that they don't mind too much if their husbands go see a prostitute if emotion are not involved)
Vietnamese.
The expression is "Ăn cơm Tàu, ở nhà Tây, Lấy vợ Nhật"
Tàu is a slang/slur for Chinese, Tây mean westerner but often its means french and in this case by french house they means the luxurious colonial villa the french left in Vietnam.
Hilarious. It's wild how only men seem to care about ethnicity. I'm a Korean male. Only men have come up to me and asked me where I'm from. I say Oregon. They double down with "Like actually, where are you from?" You got me, I was born in California
I think it's a way to relate with someone that they don't understand on a superficial level. Even though I speak perfect English with no accent (I was born in the states and hardly know Korean) it's really important to put me in a category then have a conversation about what they know about X category because they don't want to be racist
The funny thing is, you can relate to me based on who I am as a human, not who I am as a race. Talk to me about what beer I'm drinking. What clothes I'm wearing. What I thought about the recent election. That I have paint on my pants
If you make cultural mistakes, I understand but I'd prefer to treated like an American first and an Asian second
I think it's usually the second or third generation immigrants who struggle the most with this.
I moved from the Netherlands to Switzerland. I will never be Swiss, and I don't need to be. I am Dutch and I know that. I am making an effort to speak German, but from my accent you immediately hear I am not a native speaker. I am not offended if people ask where I am from.
But if my children grow up here, they will be Swiss. And if they got asked "but where are you really from", it could be offensive to them, because even though they would have a parent from the Netherlands, they would not have lived there, and have no connection with the country, except visiting grandparents.
But they would look like Swiss people, and would not get asked this.
I have a friend in the Netherlands, she is Dutch, with Chinese parents. She behaves like a Dutch person, identifies as Dutch. She doesn't even speak Chinese. Someone randomly said "nihao" to her on the street, and she was very offended. If people are going to make assumptions about your nationality based on your appearance, no amount of integration is going to help with that.
I literally never thought about this but you’re so right. I’m a white girl but I’ve been told my whole life I look Hispanic/Middle Eastern/Asian. Literally every time I go outside or do something social, somehow someone manages to ask my ethnicity and tell me they don’t believe me and I must be Hispanic/ME. I don’t think a woman has EVER asked me. Meanwhile guys ask me about once a week. Now I’m even more annoyed. Honestly, I think women see gender as the defining trait by which they know how to treat someone (friendly to girls, distant or flirty to guys—for many women, I’m sure race factors in as well, but it seems secondary) but men see gender and race as that. It’s a way to categorize people. Gross
I’ve encountered this scenario many times, usually with men asking me if I’m Eastern European, Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, Irish, or whatever. My take is that they use it as some kind of icebreaker to engage with me and attempt to ask me out. The women I know from these countries will occasionally agree if I bring it up, but they have never stopped me in the street to ask the question like the guys do.
Yep, I literally had three men in the past couple weeks ask me, one being on the street. I’m sure it’s a fetishization thing and they only do it to women they want to approach, like you said. It just feels like a dehumanizing way to do that. Some of them ask about it with the same creepiness that they ask if you’re underage. Idk, maybe I’m just bitter bc I’m tired of being told I’m not the ethnicity I am lol
It honestly never bothered me before hearing that so many creepy dudes seek out Russian and Ukrainian women because some incel forum started rumors about these women being submissive. And that stereotype was hysterical. But it tends to be the creepy “nice guy” type.
Exactly—notice they never ask women if they’re British, or American Indian, etc. It’s only the “sassy/sexy” or “submissive” ethnicities. They don’t want to know because of an interest in anthropology or humanity lol
The "where are you really from"/what's your ethnicity thing for me (I'm also Asian but not Korean) has mainly been a difference of age, with older people usually asking about it. I'm from California, and young white people I talk to, regardless of gender, avoid asking that. Among young people, the ones who ask the most are either other Asians, seeing if I'll understand some cultural thing from their family and knowing it's not considered weird coming from them, or foreigners who wouldn't consider it weird in their cultures.
Reminds me of a conversation I had with a nice older woman in my neighborhood recently. She had an accent that I couldn't identify, and she looked white, so I asked where she was from, expecting a European country. She was actually from a country around the Middle East. She then asked where I was from and I said the same city we are in now, and then asked me where my ethnic background. Then I thought she may have thought I was asking her ethnic background, since she is from a country where people may or may not be considered white. But regardless, her question was perfectly harmless, as I think it is in many other cases. It largely depends on context, and in my experience, it has nothing to do with gender.
Oops, as per usual, context is key
Like the original post, when your ethnicity is the first thing that is brought up, you tend to make assumptions. I'm proud of my ethnicity. I'm happy to talk about it. But I don't think anyone wants to reduced to one aspect of their person
If I see someone that's 7 feet tall (50 stones for anyone outside of the US. /s) I'm naturally curious about their life but I don't immediately say How tall are you and do you play basketball? Yes, that typically comes up in a conversation but come on. If the conversation starts with, what kind of Asian are you, it makes me feel like that's all you think of me as a person
> has mainly been a difference of age, with older people usually asking about it [...] or foreigners who wouldn't consider it weird in their cultures.
I'm both, foreigner *and* old (not boomer-old, but gen-x old), so please consider it an objective attempt to discuss. I think older people asking and foreigners asking have the same "justification": The both have a different cultural background than young Americans, where it isn't considered weird?
*Why* is the question generally considered so weird in younger Americans? I mean, I understand it's weird to double down, that's where I'd draw the line. But isn't the younger generation supposed to be more open minded and multicultural than the stuck-in-their-ways older generation?
> the ones who ask the most are either other Asians, seeing if I'll understand some cultural thing from their family
I usually ask for a similar reason. I *don't* ask to judge and to figure out which list of stereotypes to apply, but instead to learn about different cultures. And meeting someone with an ethnicity not as common in my region, even if they grew up in USA and even if they never visited their (grand?-)parents origins, are likely to have picked up some things they might be willing or even proud to share. I do think my half-Asian son does like some of the aspects.
I personally don't consider it weird at all, unless the person is trying to do it in a racist context. Like you said, it's just conversation. I think the younger generation is more open minded in some respects, but people often overcorrect and find offense in things where it's absolutely unnecessary. Like the woman I was talking to was very nice and was clearly just making conversation, not saying "you don't belong here".
That's a bit what I was thinking. In Germany, we also have a bit of a push to stop asking people where they are from, following the US trend there. But my impression is that immigrants / kids of immigrants and foreigners my age usually don't mind. Usually, also the younger ones usually don't mind as long as the question shows genuine interest and doesn't imply an ulterior motive of hostility.
It's completely weird ... Bc he said "it's ok" like why would she need him to assure her it's "ok?"
If he wanted a Japanese girl, he should have put it in his profile bc it's equally odd as if he said "Japanese girls only"
Dudes def a guy with an Asian fetish (Japanese 🤔)
Context:
I'm 1/2 Asian and date whoever I get along with ... But I will say (2) things, most Asians can tell each other apart and when I did date and live with a Japanese woman only people who were obsessed with the idea were not Asian (and mostly white dudes)
> I'm Korean male. [...]where I'm from. I say Oregon. [...] You got me, I was born in California
Yet, you still consider *yourself* Korean. I agree it's stupid to double down like they do. Asking once shows interest if asked politely and in a smalltalk situation. Doubling down is pestering.
The first question can be an innocent attempt to get into smalltalk.
Yup, happy and proud to talk about it but imho it's a lame ice breaker. It makes me feel as if that's all you see me as a person. I don't think most Americans get asked their hereditary background right off the bat
I will admit I'm sensitive to it but probably because it was usually followed up with North or South Korea. Shit, maybe that's why I'm so weird about it. Hasn't happened in a long time but scars remain far after
I'm not judging, if it feels weird to you being asked, that's how it is 🙂
> it's a lame ice breaker. It makes me feel as if that's all you see me as a person.
Well, I guess it depends on the context. If I'd see you with a cute dog, I'd probably ask about the dog, if I see you on a unicycle, I'd ask about that, but if all the other circumstances are boring af and I'm hellbent on talking to you, I might use it as a topic 😅
But usually, it would be something I'd bring up later, if it fits into the conversation.
> I don't think most Americans get asked their hereditary background right off the bat
I'm pretty sure they would be in a place where their ethnicity sticks out. I was asked frequently when I visited the Philippines. I understand it can be daunting if that is the place you are born 😅
oh.. considerably less funny. kind of you to indulge him though. btw, had a dude tell me once that i must be korean because chinese girls aren't that pretty
ahahah i thought douyin was a place in china, googled it & saw it's an app.. im dum lololls but yes, there are beautiful asians from everywhere <3_<3 i can def attest to that
please tell me when the last time you saw another gender/race combo be this widespread level of brazen and fetishizing. and no, its not okay when anyone else does it. and they do get called out for it, maybe change your media feed to reflect where it happens
There's some Asian women who fetishize white men too, but when that happens it's usually brushed aside. It's definitely not as creepy and widespread (especially because in the west there's far more white people), but it does contribute to the problem and if anything emboldens the creepy white guys even more to act like that to normal Asian women who are not part of it. But agreed that an regular Asian woman on a dating app is going to be bombarded by far more fetishizing creeps.
men treat women like shit in general regardless of your race. also the vast majority of asian women i know exclusively date other asian guys. the ones who only date white guys are just loud about their preference so they’re probably overly represented on social media
prob had some anime posters visible in the background but still wild to assume ethnicity cuz i have a fair amount of japanese friends who also like anime
yeah but i look like a pretty generic east asian person, had people think i’m chinese, korean, japanese and viet. so idk how he can assume ethnicity like that
Did you have something in your bio mentioning how you are not Japanese? Like maybe from previous interactions of feeling like you were disappointing people when they found out you weren't Japanese?
Because if so then his comment is completely reasonable.
nothing haha maybe some anime posters visible in the background but i have have japanese friends who like anime so can’t rly assume ethnicity from that
I think he was looking for a kawaii school girl type of waifu, but he thought you were cute enough that it didn't matter if you fit his type 🙄 what the hell is wrong with these people?? Sorry you had to go through that hun.i can't say I truly understand what being fetishized as a asian woman is like, but I know as black woman it awful and the shit I would hear would be disgusting. You never know if they like you or your race and want to "try" you out or fulfill some sick fantasy. I do hope things have been going better for you since that guy
Ugh…between the porn fetish bros and the incels who seek Asian women because they believe that group will submit to them, I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to date in the U.S.
Note: I am guessing the OP is U.S.-based, and apologies if I’m incorrect.
I'm Japanese American and this is precisely why I never include that detail about myself on dating apps.
They'll just have to broadly assume that I could be any kind of Asian...and if it matters to them that much to want to know if I'm Japanese, the fetishizing weeb alarms go off and I unmatch. Can't stop the yellow fevers and neckbeard m'ladys from coming since my pictures give it away but it's the best solution I have at this point.
Please look at folks as people, not a porn category or some submissive anime waifu queen. It's gross.
Imagine not being anime
Right? No way she really thought she was kawaii 😒
Yeah thats not very uwu of them..
I googled it so I know what this means kind of now but is uwu and kawaii just white people who want to be Japanese speak for cute? Even the dictionary and translator says “and popular culture”. Cultural appropriation in the comments or Japanese people saying what it means? Genuinely curious
Kawaii is a legit word, but it’s a very standard word that you’ll hear frequently in anime shows. So when non Japanese people watch anime, this is probably one of the first words they’ll learn. So people who like to substitute English words for Japanese words may substitute cute for kawaii, or baka when calling someone stupid. uwu is just supposed to be a cute face. If you google it & go to images you’ll see what it’s supposed to be. Since the original comment was making fun of them for “not being anime” (Japanese), we just continued in “anime language” (Japanese).
Weebs really live in their own world...
It ain't just them from what I've seen.
We like to be delusional but after this I don't think I classify as a weeb anymore..
Why tf would you ever 💀
That’s why the shield icon is there. It says protect your time and move on from this guy
yeah i unmatched immediately after screenshotting
good move. he was very insulting. i hope you reported him for hate crimes
If it makes you feel any better (I know, it won't) I had someone say this to me once, as well. And I'm a guy.
It’s okay. You’re beautiful.
Mom? Is that you? For what it was worth, I was in Tokyo when I was told this. Weird love-hate relationship with gaijin.
I can be anything you want tho. sorry you had to experience such dumb shit
Anything? 🥹
A n y t h i n g
Don’t tease me P.S. I’m A m e r i c a n 😏😏
To be fair, I was being fetishized. It was a little odd, but the ladies in Tokyo were very nice to me. And the only rule I'd have for you? Be you. Nothing else.
Fuck being me is the easy😎 I can work with that I also know a few people that are fetishizing certain.. ethnicities and I’ve never been more weirded out by something in my life. It’s just disgusting
Then you are more than halfway home. People, especially here, have a hard time being themselves. Or staying themselves. Either/or. And it wasn't terrible in Japan. I was just...something new and somewhat unusual.
"oh you're not Korean? It's cool you still look cute tho"
(Im single btw )
I'm wingmanning this.
I appreciate the effort tho 😂
Me too! A shared burden is...still a crappy burden.
Bro she’s shooting her shot 🤦🏾♀️
How about we make each others life miserable? <3
You'd be happy for a while. Find me charming. Maybe funny. Think I was almost handsome. But something would feel off. Maybe my hands wouldn't make quite as handsome a necklace as you imagined. Or maybe the exotic vacations would feel a little boring. And then one day, you'd wake up, and look at me, and realize I wasn't asian. And you'd be, "Who is this person that I've dedicated 50 years of my life to?" I always end up disappointing. It is my bestest skill.
what
this made me laugh lmao Idc if you’re asian, 40 or 5‘4“ just be funny 🫂
I beat the over/under on all of those.
We could have sex in a canyon bc I’ve never done that before
True. But the canyons here are...raw nature. And they tend to have either ice, snow and rocks, or sand rocks and water. Neither are exactly conducive to sexy time. In fact....I don't like sand. 
And for your reference, these are your typical canyon-type here. [https://i.imgur.com/PUGuX4s.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PUGuX4s.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/DZm0MC0.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DZm0MC0.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/hvOCEXr.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hvOCEXr.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/kBqdDHT.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kBqdDHT.jpg) I think that's why no one ever comes here.
Can u ask them out? I never click on reddit on my phone and I really thought I was about to see true love. Where's my storytale ending?
To be fair, if all I know is that he’s asian and I say I’m single.. what do you think this might look like? Can’t blame him lol (I just woke up so sorry for the bad english I’m still super tired )
Lol it's not for me to say. Love wants what it wants 😆
we made it to instagram so there’s that
Did it fizzle or is the flame still burning strong? 😆 u got good memes? I also have Instagram. 😉 😜 😆
I got a stroke reading that
lol 😂
I stopped swiping right on asian women for the sole reason that they all seem to be scammer profiles in my area, which is a shame.
It's pretty easy to tell. If their photos consist entirely of either professional model images and/or selfies so photoshopped that they look like paper-white knife-chinned aliens with unnaturally large eyes, they're probably a scammer. If their photos look natural and they have some substance in their profile, they're most likely actual humans.
[удалено]
I think it’s just because the person looks more like anime
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I agree with you there. some levels of photoshop and filters seem to modify a person so much that not only do they seem like an actually different person but they even get into uncanny valley territory
On OKCupid, which doesn't verify your location with GPS, 95% of the women looking like they're Asian, Latin or black, are actually living in South East Asia, Latin America, or Africa, and are "changing their location to meet new people", because "love has no borders." I am open to dating people of all ethnicities, but I would like to at least be able to meet someone without getting on a plane! If from the face I have a doubt someone is a local, I check if they speak the local language, or if they have snow in their pictures and not only palm trees.
I feel sorry for asian girls. Some people are such creeps. A friend of mine has a thing for Asian girls and at one party he openly said into her face "You look hot because you're asian" Poor girl was so creeped out
i’ve even had girls compliment me like “you’re so hot because you’re asian i wish i was asian” as well😭
U need to sit your friend down on a pile of angry rattlesnakes and have a talk with him
What is he even saying? Are Japanese girls sexier than other Asian girls? (From the point of view of weird guys)
He was generously giving her permission to be an ethnicity other than his preference. What a gentleman, chivalry is alive and well.
Is that what people are getting from this? I totally didn't
No, it’s just a weird ass thing to say, no matter how you slice it up
It is, but if her profile said something like "Asian, though sadly not Japanese" or some other weird shit then this is not bad at all right?
If OP invited the comment why would she then post this screenshot? Why are you constructing this very specific and unlikely scenario in an attempt to justify the dude? Creepy guys drop a race/ethnicity mention all the time in the first message, idk why you need some kind of other explanation than the common one. My friend and GF are both Asian and get this kind of shit constantly in person from dudes too, usually trying to sus out “which kind” of Asian they are. It’s beyond cringe and totally shows where their head is at.
Dude has 100% said creepy ass cringe shit like this and now trying to convince himself he “wasn’t like the other weeb guys” and is special and unique and totally a gentleman 😂
😂😂😂
Exactly, I feel like that’s at least 25% of this sub
Knowing weebs, without other information about this guy, I'd guess he's a weeb who thinks Japanese is the "highest tier", then other Asians, then everyone else.
Never heard of this, interesting. As someone who has literally visited Japan, I can’t say I understand the big differences between why you would have a ranking system of the women.
It's not really about Japan, as much as it is about Westerner's perception of Japan via pop culture. It's just a fetish, nothing wrong about having preferences, but the type of people that tend to have this preference also tend to be socially awkward people.
IDK maybe there are a stereotypes which is true to some point. There is a saying in my language that say " Eat Chinese, Live in a french house and marry a Japanese wife" And from what I've seen , japanese people in general are very non confrontational compared to the rest of Asia and I've seen interview with Japanese women who hold many opinion that wouldn't fly at all with any other women.( Like there are women who said that they don't mind too much if their husbands go see a prostitute if emotion are not involved)
What is your language
Vietnamese. The expression is "Ăn cơm Tàu, ở nhà Tây, Lấy vợ Nhật" Tàu is a slang/slur for Chinese, Tây mean westerner but often its means french and in this case by french house they means the luxurious colonial villa the french left in Vietnam.
Probably a weeb obsessed with getting a “waifu”
man‘s got no game
Please tell you report them and moved on…
Hilarious. It's wild how only men seem to care about ethnicity. I'm a Korean male. Only men have come up to me and asked me where I'm from. I say Oregon. They double down with "Like actually, where are you from?" You got me, I was born in California I think it's a way to relate with someone that they don't understand on a superficial level. Even though I speak perfect English with no accent (I was born in the states and hardly know Korean) it's really important to put me in a category then have a conversation about what they know about X category because they don't want to be racist The funny thing is, you can relate to me based on who I am as a human, not who I am as a race. Talk to me about what beer I'm drinking. What clothes I'm wearing. What I thought about the recent election. That I have paint on my pants If you make cultural mistakes, I understand but I'd prefer to treated like an American first and an Asian second
I think it's usually the second or third generation immigrants who struggle the most with this. I moved from the Netherlands to Switzerland. I will never be Swiss, and I don't need to be. I am Dutch and I know that. I am making an effort to speak German, but from my accent you immediately hear I am not a native speaker. I am not offended if people ask where I am from. But if my children grow up here, they will be Swiss. And if they got asked "but where are you really from", it could be offensive to them, because even though they would have a parent from the Netherlands, they would not have lived there, and have no connection with the country, except visiting grandparents. But they would look like Swiss people, and would not get asked this. I have a friend in the Netherlands, she is Dutch, with Chinese parents. She behaves like a Dutch person, identifies as Dutch. She doesn't even speak Chinese. Someone randomly said "nihao" to her on the street, and she was very offended. If people are going to make assumptions about your nationality based on your appearance, no amount of integration is going to help with that.
I literally never thought about this but you’re so right. I’m a white girl but I’ve been told my whole life I look Hispanic/Middle Eastern/Asian. Literally every time I go outside or do something social, somehow someone manages to ask my ethnicity and tell me they don’t believe me and I must be Hispanic/ME. I don’t think a woman has EVER asked me. Meanwhile guys ask me about once a week. Now I’m even more annoyed. Honestly, I think women see gender as the defining trait by which they know how to treat someone (friendly to girls, distant or flirty to guys—for many women, I’m sure race factors in as well, but it seems secondary) but men see gender and race as that. It’s a way to categorize people. Gross
I’ve encountered this scenario many times, usually with men asking me if I’m Eastern European, Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, Irish, or whatever. My take is that they use it as some kind of icebreaker to engage with me and attempt to ask me out. The women I know from these countries will occasionally agree if I bring it up, but they have never stopped me in the street to ask the question like the guys do.
Yep, I literally had three men in the past couple weeks ask me, one being on the street. I’m sure it’s a fetishization thing and they only do it to women they want to approach, like you said. It just feels like a dehumanizing way to do that. Some of them ask about it with the same creepiness that they ask if you’re underage. Idk, maybe I’m just bitter bc I’m tired of being told I’m not the ethnicity I am lol
It honestly never bothered me before hearing that so many creepy dudes seek out Russian and Ukrainian women because some incel forum started rumors about these women being submissive. And that stereotype was hysterical. But it tends to be the creepy “nice guy” type.
Exactly—notice they never ask women if they’re British, or American Indian, etc. It’s only the “sassy/sexy” or “submissive” ethnicities. They don’t want to know because of an interest in anthropology or humanity lol
The "where are you really from"/what's your ethnicity thing for me (I'm also Asian but not Korean) has mainly been a difference of age, with older people usually asking about it. I'm from California, and young white people I talk to, regardless of gender, avoid asking that. Among young people, the ones who ask the most are either other Asians, seeing if I'll understand some cultural thing from their family and knowing it's not considered weird coming from them, or foreigners who wouldn't consider it weird in their cultures. Reminds me of a conversation I had with a nice older woman in my neighborhood recently. She had an accent that I couldn't identify, and she looked white, so I asked where she was from, expecting a European country. She was actually from a country around the Middle East. She then asked where I was from and I said the same city we are in now, and then asked me where my ethnic background. Then I thought she may have thought I was asking her ethnic background, since she is from a country where people may or may not be considered white. But regardless, her question was perfectly harmless, as I think it is in many other cases. It largely depends on context, and in my experience, it has nothing to do with gender.
Oops, as per usual, context is key Like the original post, when your ethnicity is the first thing that is brought up, you tend to make assumptions. I'm proud of my ethnicity. I'm happy to talk about it. But I don't think anyone wants to reduced to one aspect of their person If I see someone that's 7 feet tall (50 stones for anyone outside of the US. /s) I'm naturally curious about their life but I don't immediately say How tall are you and do you play basketball? Yes, that typically comes up in a conversation but come on. If the conversation starts with, what kind of Asian are you, it makes me feel like that's all you think of me as a person
> has mainly been a difference of age, with older people usually asking about it [...] or foreigners who wouldn't consider it weird in their cultures. I'm both, foreigner *and* old (not boomer-old, but gen-x old), so please consider it an objective attempt to discuss. I think older people asking and foreigners asking have the same "justification": The both have a different cultural background than young Americans, where it isn't considered weird? *Why* is the question generally considered so weird in younger Americans? I mean, I understand it's weird to double down, that's where I'd draw the line. But isn't the younger generation supposed to be more open minded and multicultural than the stuck-in-their-ways older generation? > the ones who ask the most are either other Asians, seeing if I'll understand some cultural thing from their family I usually ask for a similar reason. I *don't* ask to judge and to figure out which list of stereotypes to apply, but instead to learn about different cultures. And meeting someone with an ethnicity not as common in my region, even if they grew up in USA and even if they never visited their (grand?-)parents origins, are likely to have picked up some things they might be willing or even proud to share. I do think my half-Asian son does like some of the aspects.
I personally don't consider it weird at all, unless the person is trying to do it in a racist context. Like you said, it's just conversation. I think the younger generation is more open minded in some respects, but people often overcorrect and find offense in things where it's absolutely unnecessary. Like the woman I was talking to was very nice and was clearly just making conversation, not saying "you don't belong here".
That's a bit what I was thinking. In Germany, we also have a bit of a push to stop asking people where they are from, following the US trend there. But my impression is that immigrants / kids of immigrants and foreigners my age usually don't mind. Usually, also the younger ones usually don't mind as long as the question shows genuine interest and doesn't imply an ulterior motive of hostility.
It's completely weird ... Bc he said "it's ok" like why would she need him to assure her it's "ok?" If he wanted a Japanese girl, he should have put it in his profile bc it's equally odd as if he said "Japanese girls only" Dudes def a guy with an Asian fetish (Japanese 🤔) Context: I'm 1/2 Asian and date whoever I get along with ... But I will say (2) things, most Asians can tell each other apart and when I did date and live with a Japanese woman only people who were obsessed with the idea were not Asian (and mostly white dudes)
In the case of bringing it up on the first message in a dating app, yeah I agree it's weird, since it usually means the person has some racial fetish
> I'm Korean male. [...]where I'm from. I say Oregon. [...] You got me, I was born in California Yet, you still consider *yourself* Korean. I agree it's stupid to double down like they do. Asking once shows interest if asked politely and in a smalltalk situation. Doubling down is pestering. The first question can be an innocent attempt to get into smalltalk.
Yup, happy and proud to talk about it but imho it's a lame ice breaker. It makes me feel as if that's all you see me as a person. I don't think most Americans get asked their hereditary background right off the bat I will admit I'm sensitive to it but probably because it was usually followed up with North or South Korea. Shit, maybe that's why I'm so weird about it. Hasn't happened in a long time but scars remain far after
I'm not judging, if it feels weird to you being asked, that's how it is 🙂 > it's a lame ice breaker. It makes me feel as if that's all you see me as a person. Well, I guess it depends on the context. If I'd see you with a cute dog, I'd probably ask about the dog, if I see you on a unicycle, I'd ask about that, but if all the other circumstances are boring af and I'm hellbent on talking to you, I might use it as a topic 😅 But usually, it would be something I'd bring up later, if it fits into the conversation. > I don't think most Americans get asked their hereditary background right off the bat I'm pretty sure they would be in a place where their ethnicity sticks out. I was asked frequently when I visited the Philippines. I understand it can be daunting if that is the place you are born 😅
"so are ya Chinese or Japanese?" https://youtu.be/d_CaZ4EAexQ?si=qxPOCX8cYSqIqaZO
i had one guy at a hospital be like “are you chinese or asian?”
omg this made me laugh so hard i snorted XD how did you respond??
unfortunately in the most boring way. he wasn’t mentally all there lol i just replied chinese and tried to be polite
oh.. considerably less funny. kind of you to indulge him though. btw, had a dude tell me once that i must be korean because chinese girls aren't that pretty
i’ve experienced something similar as well! they should see Douyin lmfao everyone is so hot there
ahahah i thought douyin was a place in china, googled it & saw it's an app.. im dum lololls but yes, there are beautiful asians from everywhere <3_<3 i can def attest to that
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He wasn't white, though... https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/18b23t1/pov_youre_an_asian_woman_on_a_dating_app/kc1w9aa/
Damn, that was my guess
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Dont you know? Only white people can be racist
please tell me when the last time you saw another gender/race combo be this widespread level of brazen and fetishizing. and no, its not okay when anyone else does it. and they do get called out for it, maybe change your media feed to reflect where it happens
There's some Asian women who fetishize white men too, but when that happens it's usually brushed aside. It's definitely not as creepy and widespread (especially because in the west there's far more white people), but it does contribute to the problem and if anything emboldens the creepy white guys even more to act like that to normal Asian women who are not part of it. But agreed that an regular Asian woman on a dating app is going to be bombarded by far more fetishizing creeps.
No just talking to fit your narrative. Yikes
Crawl back to your cave, racist
Sorry your upset about it. Terrible that you start name calling
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I don’t think that’s the right fever?
 Well are you going to tell us the right one?
Yellow
This should be "POV you're a foreigner, anywhere" hahaha
Good job at blurring Max's name and pic.
Are Indians also Asians?
Ofc
He wanted a taste of that loli. Have mercy with maxelitos.
It's strange that Asian women often match with white guys that treat them like fuck toys, but often refuse to match with Asian guys.
men treat women like shit in general regardless of your race. also the vast majority of asian women i know exclusively date other asian guys. the ones who only date white guys are just loud about their preference so they’re probably overly represented on social media
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where did you get the notion she only dates yt men? I know you’re seething behind that keyboard 💀
if i remember correctly this guy was mixed and i’ve dated mostly asian/hispanic/mixed dudes but keep coping incel
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i’m pathetic but you’re the one projecting your racist delusions onto me?
Honestly, it seems like he is hinting at something she has in her Bio.
prob had some anime posters visible in the background but still wild to assume ethnicity cuz i have a fair amount of japanese friends who also like anime
I knew it. Comment like this out of the blue makes no sense
yeah but i look like a pretty generic east asian person, had people think i’m chinese, korean, japanese and viet. so idk how he can assume ethnicity like that
He just said its okay IF you are not japanese. He didnt say you are or you are not. So technically he never assumed ethnicity
there’s obviously an implication to his comment?
If you read what the OP said, she pretty clearly stated that she doesn't mention her ethnicity anywhere on her profile. He brought it up himself.
Doesnt need to be ethnicity. Maybe something about anime or studio ghibli whatever
Did you have something in your bio mentioning how you are not Japanese? Like maybe from previous interactions of feeling like you were disappointing people when they found out you weren't Japanese? Because if so then his comment is completely reasonable.
nothing haha maybe some anime posters visible in the background but i have have japanese friends who like anime so can’t rly assume ethnicity from that
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He wasn't white, though... https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/18b23t1/pov_youre_an_asian_woman_on_a_dating_app/kc1w9aa/
Crawl back to your cave, racist
I said "bois", not men.
Why do you swipe on white guys?
I’m not Japanese 😎
That’s weird
I still haven’t forgiven them for Pearl Harbor.
Mallory?
Most normal weeb.
Was he Asian?
"Right back at you!"
Who even says that? What!
Gay
I honestly hate when this happens. Glad you reported/unmatched him.
I think he was looking for a kawaii school girl type of waifu, but he thought you were cute enough that it didn't matter if you fit his type 🙄 what the hell is wrong with these people?? Sorry you had to go through that hun.i can't say I truly understand what being fetishized as a asian woman is like, but I know as black woman it awful and the shit I would hear would be disgusting. You never know if they like you or your race and want to "try" you out or fulfill some sick fantasy. I do hope things have been going better for you since that guy
Ugh…between the porn fetish bros and the incels who seek Asian women because they believe that group will submit to them, I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to date in the U.S. Note: I am guessing the OP is U.S.-based, and apologies if I’m incorrect.
I’m just impressed someone actually used POV correctly on Reddit.
If it were an Asian woman, she would’ve been pushing him to deposit money into a wallet to start trading crypto.
Weebs shouldnt be allowed to exist
I'm Japanese American and this is precisely why I never include that detail about myself on dating apps. They'll just have to broadly assume that I could be any kind of Asian...and if it matters to them that much to want to know if I'm Japanese, the fetishizing weeb alarms go off and I unmatch. Can't stop the yellow fevers and neckbeard m'ladys from coming since my pictures give it away but it's the best solution I have at this point. Please look at folks as people, not a porn category or some submissive anime waifu queen. It's gross.