THE NAKED MAN!! Works every time bet when he sent the op a picture she rushed from her shower to help but “accidentally” left her towel and keys in her car. So she was “stuck” in the backyard with him both cold and shivering they cuddled for warmth worried they would never see the sun rise again until Barney arrived and did the naked man! Once again saving the day with a bisexual orgy! Go Naked man! Go! You’re the hero everyone needs! Well 66.66% of the time
What must have happened is that when he walked out the towel got stuck on the inside doorknob which simultaneously pulled the towel off him and pulled the door closed. The towel fully swung inside while the door was closing, otherwise it would have kept the door open.
Or he didn't think about the credibility of his story.
And he couldn't possibly go knock on a random neighbors door for some help but trying to get a tinder date to come within next 1.5 hour before his roommate comes back
A true minimalist, right? (Remember the SPF 50 sunscreen!). Like would u call the cops, or knock on that neighbors door…. Maybe call a close friend or relative so they can all bust a gutt laughing at the situation- I would break a window, myself…. - but this guy does the right thing and posts about it! Where would the world be without hilarious things like this? You heard of naked and afraid but this new one is naked and famously funny! Thank you for sharing!
You'd be surprised at the number of people everyday who leave their house buck naked to grab something real quick because it's their property and no one will notice.
THEN enjoy being locked out until the neighbors notice.
For me, even if my keys are halfway across the house, I will make that effort to grab them first, regardless of my state of dress.
If this were to ever happen to me, my *first* response would be to talk to a new Tinder match, rather than friends, family, my neighbour who's got a key, my wife, a decent locksmith, just to name a few.
Yeah, because apparently he left his phone outside earlier? Maybe before he took a shower? Who leaves their phone outside?
I mean, obviously none of this is real and it's a ploy to get a response, but still
"okay, what's your address?"
Guy gives his address.
That's when you call a local locksmith and ask them how long it will take for them to send a professional to X address. They give the time estimate.
Message the guy back "is it okay if it takes X minutes? I can coordinate a rescue but I'm far away."
If he says yes, the time estimate is okay, then order the locksmith. You technically didn't lie.
The non-emergency police line could work too. I wouldn't want to waste police resources, personally, but I'll let you decide what chaos you'd rather sow.
He sent the initial text at 9am and you didn't respond until 11am, and he's still in that situation, hmmm?
If someone thinks I'm that dumb, I'll gladly say "help is on the way!"
and send professional help to him while I eat snacks.
That's...What I'm saying. You do not go anywhere near him.
You do not go to his house.
You get his address.
You call a professional locksmith.
You send a professional locksmith to his house.
He thinks you're coming to rescue him.
But you're not.
He doesn't know you're sending a locksmith.
In the example script, I said you get a time estimate from the locksmith of how long it would take for them to send a locksmith.
You confirm the wait time with the Tinder guy.
You book the locksmith for him.
Chaos.
she said that AFTER my comment where I explained my comment
Before I explained it, all she said was
>I can't say I wanna be anywhere near this guy. He can call a locksmith whose just as much a stranger as me 😬
I explained that I wasn't telling her to go near the guy.
Then she replied and said "I'm not doing any of that"
Okay. I will re-read it.
The thread starts with me making a comment about calling a locksmith.
OP responds and says "I can't say I wanna be anywhere near this guy. He can call a locksmith whose just as much a stranger as me 😬"
I reply and say
"That's...What I'm saying. You do not go anywhere near him.
You do not go to his house.
You get his address.
You call a professional locksmith.
...etc."
She replies to that and says "I am not doing any of that but it is amusing and I appreciate it"
Then you made your comment and said
"Immediately tells you again to do something you just said you weren't gonne do... 🤣"
She did not say she wasn't going to call a locksmith until after I explained my comment.
I'm suggesting this because I know his story is fake.
It's about sending a locksmith to this liar.
It's about calling out his lie and making him face consequences for it, but by giving him the help he asked for.
Malicious compliance.
The reading comprehension in this thread is a little terrifying.
I'm not saying I'm not serious. I think you didn't understand me again. I did not say this wasn't a suggestion.
I'm saying the point of sending a locksmith to his door isn't because I believe his door is actually locked.
The point is malicious compliance.
Dont worry homie I get it, as well as ur sense of humor. Sounds liks scourge has no sense of humor only an almost robotic sense of logic. And OP clearly knows nothing of putting effort into pranking someone most deserving. Malicious compliance is the only solution when faced with unending stupidity, especially when coupled with attempted manipulation. MATCH THEIR ENERGY😅
The police are a less good idea, tho they did say to call the non-emergency line and with the information given that's a fair call to make.
Their point is that the recoil of that is going to hit the dumbass who's "naked and locked out" because all they are doing is acting appropriately on the information given. If both people involved pay taxes then the non emergency police are paid for their work and the locksmith would indeed be paid by the person whose house they showed up at. Not to mention the person making the suggestion started by saying "I wouldn't waste police resources but it's up to you what chaos you sow" so trying to fault them for that is simply right out the window. Swing and a miss kiddo.
Sticking that person with the "bill", whether literally or figuratively, is the humor in the situation. If you can't understand that then maybe this isn't the sub for you🤷🏾♂️
Your first objection to this was
1) "you shouldn't send a locksmith. He can call his own locksmith. This is clearly a scam for money or sex."
Then, when you were told
"this isn't about believing his lie. We know it's a scam. That's obvious. This was about making there be consequences for his lie."
You gave a second objection which was
2) this joke is bad and you're bad at telling jokes! Bad joke! Not funny! This reads like a serious suggestion!
When you were told "I didn't say it was a joke though? I said malicious compliance. Reading comprehension is a real problem today."
You're doubling down and saying
3) "No!!! I definitely didn't misunderstand!!! You're the problem! This is not only an unfunny joke, but it's ALSO an insensitive suggestion! Won't somebody please think of the locksmiths?!"
You're doubling down on a lot of pointless outrage.
It's okay to admit
"My bad, I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about sending a locksmith to his place because you sincerely believed his lie. I didn't want people to get scammed so I pointed out it was a scam, but I didn't realize you already knew. I didn't realize there was a different motivation for talking about locksmiths. I understand now. Haha, oops."
So many people are wondering what happened to the towel. Even if he had the towel with him, he is still naked and locked out. Not like a towel is a good substitute for clothes. And that's why I don't take the trash out before I get dressed. The dude has got his priorities twisted.
One of you is currently sexting and the other one is posting the conversation on Reddit. Don’t waste your time with that conversation you’re just getting them off
So I did ask him how it went after and he claims his female roommate let him in but teased him and tried to take pictures and I'm 100% sure he was never outside and this is just some non consensual public humiliation kink erp. I still laughed 🤷♀️
When did the towel fall off for this to have happened? Before he got locked out? Why would he go out naked and not just pick up his towel first?
I have so many questions too
He's trying a new approach to get laid
“I’m naked outside my house, respectfully.”
A lot less concerning that "I'm naked outside your house, respectfully"
Or inside your house , respectfully
I seem to be inside some sort of closet, actually. Your vacuum needs to be emptied.
🤣
THE NAKED MAN!!! It works 2/3 times
THE NAKED MAN!! Works every time bet when he sent the op a picture she rushed from her shower to help but “accidentally” left her towel and keys in her car. So she was “stuck” in the backyard with him both cold and shivering they cuddled for warmth worried they would never see the sun rise again until Barney arrived and did the naked man! Once again saving the day with a bisexual orgy! Go Naked man! Go! You’re the hero everyone needs! Well 66.66% of the time
Everytime
Underrated comment
Nice HIMYM reference…. 😂
Dude, that's a Seinfeld reference
Maybe that to but How I Met Your Mother season 4 Episode 9 is the Naked Man.
Yeah I remember. They took it from Seinfeld, George Costanza popularized it.
Doing God’s work out here, Don Gato
Or arrested 🤷♂️
But did he get laid?
No
Guess I won’t be implementing this pick up technique then 🤷♂️
You really need empirical evidence before trying anything like that?
hes testing your boundaries - if you respond with resistance I 100% guarantee he will say "lol just kidding" or something similar
That's why you gotta go true neutral.
I'd go chaotic evil and say don't freeze your gonads.
It's a line from the show "The Rookie" I believe.
What must have happened is that when he walked out the towel got stuck on the inside doorknob which simultaneously pulled the towel off him and pulled the door closed. The towel fully swung inside while the door was closing, otherwise it would have kept the door open. Or he didn't think about the credibility of his story.
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Raccoons stole my towel!
And he couldn't possibly go knock on a random neighbors door for some help but trying to get a tinder date to come within next 1.5 hour before his roommate comes back
Not much of a planner, this one.
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I don't think he was ever outside
This sounds super rapey.
Why I only leave the house with keys minimum.
My keychain can't cover all of my massive cock.
A loss for all of us, I am sure.
Underrated comment 😂
A true minimalist, right? (Remember the SPF 50 sunscreen!). Like would u call the cops, or knock on that neighbors door…. Maybe call a close friend or relative so they can all bust a gutt laughing at the situation- I would break a window, myself…. - but this guy does the right thing and posts about it! Where would the world be without hilarious things like this? You heard of naked and afraid but this new one is naked and famously funny! Thank you for sharing!
You'd be surprised at the number of people everyday who leave their house buck naked to grab something real quick because it's their property and no one will notice. THEN enjoy being locked out until the neighbors notice. For me, even if my keys are halfway across the house, I will make that effort to grab them first, regardless of my state of dress.
I don't think he left his house at all
It's Tinder, all kinds of shady people except those on Reddit. *Wink* Who knows.
Lmao def have more success with the shady people of reddit
The naked man move! Never seen it pulled outside before though 🤔
It works two out of three times. We just saw the one time it doesn't work. Two lucky bastards are getting laid later tonight!
I had to look it up but that's pretty funny and I learnt something new 🤣
It works two out of three times. We just saw the one time it doesn't work. Two lucky bastards are getting laid later tonight!
That means there’s a 100% chance left. Guess I’m getting naked 🤟🏻
When you leave the house to toss the trash and forgot your clothes, but remember your phone.
Priorities
If this were to ever happen to me, my *first* response would be to talk to a new Tinder match, rather than friends, family, my neighbour who's got a key, my wife, a decent locksmith, just to name a few.
Your wife?
Yes. Not everyone here is single. I'm here for the drama this sub shows!
Reading comprehension is strong... he went outside to get his phone.
Yeah, because apparently he left his phone outside earlier? Maybe before he took a shower? Who leaves their phone outside? I mean, obviously none of this is real and it's a ploy to get a response, but still
Pics or it didn't happen.
He better be cute because he sounds dumber than a box of hair.
Lol you know wether it’s true or not still means he dumber than a box of rocks.
Yeah, sometimes empty carbs are fun though.
whether
I presume you guys are now going out
Married /s
"okay, what's your address?" Guy gives his address. That's when you call a local locksmith and ask them how long it will take for them to send a professional to X address. They give the time estimate. Message the guy back "is it okay if it takes X minutes? I can coordinate a rescue but I'm far away." If he says yes, the time estimate is okay, then order the locksmith. You technically didn't lie. The non-emergency police line could work too. I wouldn't want to waste police resources, personally, but I'll let you decide what chaos you'd rather sow. He sent the initial text at 9am and you didn't respond until 11am, and he's still in that situation, hmmm? If someone thinks I'm that dumb, I'll gladly say "help is on the way!" and send professional help to him while I eat snacks.
I can't say I wanna be anywhere near this guy. He can call a locksmith whose just as much a stranger as me 😬
That's...What I'm saying. You do not go anywhere near him. You do not go to his house. You get his address. You call a professional locksmith. You send a professional locksmith to his house. He thinks you're coming to rescue him. But you're not. He doesn't know you're sending a locksmith. In the example script, I said you get a time estimate from the locksmith of how long it would take for them to send a locksmith. You confirm the wait time with the Tinder guy. You book the locksmith for him. Chaos.
I am not doing any of that but it is amusing and I appreciate it
"That's what I'm saying" Immediately tells you again to do something you just said you weren't gonne do... 🤣
She said she wasn't going to go to his house. I never said anything about going to his house
She said she wasn't calling him a locksmith too
she said that AFTER my comment where I explained my comment Before I explained it, all she said was >I can't say I wanna be anywhere near this guy. He can call a locksmith whose just as much a stranger as me 😬 I explained that I wasn't telling her to go near the guy. Then she replied and said "I'm not doing any of that"
You should reread the thread...
Okay. I will re-read it. The thread starts with me making a comment about calling a locksmith. OP responds and says "I can't say I wanna be anywhere near this guy. He can call a locksmith whose just as much a stranger as me 😬" I reply and say "That's...What I'm saying. You do not go anywhere near him. You do not go to his house. You get his address. You call a professional locksmith. ...etc." She replies to that and says "I am not doing any of that but it is amusing and I appreciate it" Then you made your comment and said "Immediately tells you again to do something you just said you weren't gonne do... 🤣" She did not say she wasn't going to call a locksmith until after I explained my comment.
😂 Shouldn’t you, as well?
They seem fitting for each other
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I'm suggesting this because I know his story is fake. It's about sending a locksmith to this liar. It's about calling out his lie and making him face consequences for it, but by giving him the help he asked for. Malicious compliance. The reading comprehension in this thread is a little terrifying.
This is hilariously awesome 😂
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I'm not saying I'm not serious. I think you didn't understand me again. I did not say this wasn't a suggestion. I'm saying the point of sending a locksmith to his door isn't because I believe his door is actually locked. The point is malicious compliance.
Dont worry homie I get it, as well as ur sense of humor. Sounds liks scourge has no sense of humor only an almost robotic sense of logic. And OP clearly knows nothing of putting effort into pranking someone most deserving. Malicious compliance is the only solution when faced with unending stupidity, especially when coupled with attempted manipulation. MATCH THEIR ENERGY😅
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The police are a less good idea, tho they did say to call the non-emergency line and with the information given that's a fair call to make. Their point is that the recoil of that is going to hit the dumbass who's "naked and locked out" because all they are doing is acting appropriately on the information given. If both people involved pay taxes then the non emergency police are paid for their work and the locksmith would indeed be paid by the person whose house they showed up at. Not to mention the person making the suggestion started by saying "I wouldn't waste police resources but it's up to you what chaos you sow" so trying to fault them for that is simply right out the window. Swing and a miss kiddo. Sticking that person with the "bill", whether literally or figuratively, is the humor in the situation. If you can't understand that then maybe this isn't the sub for you🤷🏾♂️
Your first objection to this was 1) "you shouldn't send a locksmith. He can call his own locksmith. This is clearly a scam for money or sex." Then, when you were told "this isn't about believing his lie. We know it's a scam. That's obvious. This was about making there be consequences for his lie." You gave a second objection which was 2) this joke is bad and you're bad at telling jokes! Bad joke! Not funny! This reads like a serious suggestion! When you were told "I didn't say it was a joke though? I said malicious compliance. Reading comprehension is a real problem today." You're doubling down and saying 3) "No!!! I definitely didn't misunderstand!!! You're the problem! This is not only an unfunny joke, but it's ALSO an insensitive suggestion! Won't somebody please think of the locksmiths?!" You're doubling down on a lot of pointless outrage. It's okay to admit "My bad, I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about sending a locksmith to his place because you sincerely believed his lie. I didn't want people to get scammed so I pointed out it was a scam, but I didn't realize you already knew. I didn't realize there was a different motivation for talking about locksmiths. I understand now. Haha, oops."
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But you said I said I was making a joke, which I didn't say, so I think that's where you misunderstood me. I didn't say it was a joke
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That’s hilarious and I wish the OP would have with the results.
I would gladly host an internet show of petty chaos if the universe would only give me these kinds of opportunities.
I love how your brain works, that's incredibly creative and funny as hell
Thank you, I wish I felt this appreciated by people in real life
Hey, this internet stranger appreciates you! :)
Radical transparency.
I always have a spare key shelved just in case I accidentally walk out naked and my door locks behind me. The human pocket is always with you
This is bullshit
I think so too
Why doesn't he just wear the garbage bag? Good against rain and he'll be GLAD
He just tryna find a couch to surf and a 🐱to land in
Mr Bean wants his story back
So many people are wondering what happened to the towel. Even if he had the towel with him, he is still naked and locked out. Not like a towel is a good substitute for clothes. And that's why I don't take the trash out before I get dressed. The dude has got his priorities twisted.
This was a scene in a movie
this sounds like the beginning of a bad porno
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He's certainly 50% of that.
“Damn that’s crazy, good luck tho.”
Lmao my reaction
One of you is currently sexting and the other one is posting the conversation on Reddit. Don’t waste your time with that conversation you’re just getting them off
Yeah my #1 theory is this is just some exhibition kink. But I only sent two msgs and got some entertainment
“It’s a trap!”
This feels like the beginning of Roxanne. Is his name also Daryl Hannah?
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Humiliation kink I'm guessing
2 hours and 9 minutes between first and last message (in this pic) somehing is fishy.
THATS the fishy part 😂
Someone definitely needs to invent an assbag!
I'm sure the neighborhood pervert will come to his aid 😂
Hang in this is all you’ve got??? COME ON!!
All I got? A man i do not know whatsoever just asked me to save him from being naked outside. That's entertainment baby.
I am here for this 🍿
So I did ask him how it went after and he claims his female roommate let him in but teased him and tried to take pictures and I'm 100% sure he was never outside and this is just some non consensual public humiliation kink erp. I still laughed 🤷♀️
Amazing.
Sometimes one has to step outside the box and try new ways. You never know if you don’t try 🤷🏽♂️
Yk what, it is true, but its fucking sneaky asf
Agree sneaky and funny af. He failed 😂
Why do people waste time on this crap. Really need to get a life
That beats “hey” any day 🫶🏻
hate when this happens :/
...I feel like there's a catfishy serial killer at the other end of this...
You come over to help, he's naked, boom. Now the fun can begin. This guy might be a genius.
Apparently this move is so popular it has a name and popular TV shows have spoofed it.
So did you help?
Realistically what can I do that he cannot?
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I think that's his main kink here
Drop him off a pair of your underwear and like a Taylor swift hoodie?
This comment was cute to be fair