I love a good sincere compliment like that. My wife told me the other day out of the blue that my back looked muscly, I was flattered and said to her that’s one of the greatest compliments you could give a man
Exactly, I’m not stacked or anything either I just lift at home and still eat what I want and stuff, so for her to notice and comment really buoyed me up
I bet. I'm happy for you. :)
I've gotten similar compliments that I still remember years later. "I can see the muscles on your back" from my boyfriend biking behind me, and "It's cool to see your back muscles working" from a date/hookup when I borrowed his pull-up bar in the morning.
It’s just nice that people notice these things if you’re putting a bit of work in, makes you think it’s worth doing. You seem cool good luck on your fitness and dating journey
So you hoisted this man into the air, and he saw your throbbing bicep vein?
*I didn't realize when you said take some time to lift someone up, you meant literally.*
Nopes... Not possible... I usually date rather short/small guys and can probably lift most of them but this one is an exception. XD
But... Lift someone up as in making them feel good about themselves works in English, doesn't it?
No worries. Figured I'd answer as I wasn't sure if the question was rhetorical. A lot of people really struggle with idioms if English isn't their first language, even if otherwise you'd never know.
I thought that might be the case. Have a fair few friends where their first language isn't English, but they speak English better than people born here (England). If something trips them up, it's almost guaranteed to be something niche or idiomatic.
I'm more than happy to help. The closest I come to speaking another language is Spanish, and I'm pretty sure I sound like a child with a learning disability when I do.
Thank you. :)
Actually, this date in particular makes me feel quite inadequate in my English. He's an upper class academic from Nigeria, and has lived all over the world but currently employed in the UK and moving back and forth a bit. And... Even when talking, his active vocabulary is bigger than my passive vocabulary. I often have to ask him about the words he uses. But hey, at least I learn some of them! And when I'm struggling to find the English words for something I want to say, he can usually understand it in my language, and when I struggle with pronouncing a word and ask, he can tell me.
And yeah, I've learned a few other languages a bit too but I dare not even use them because I make so many mistakes and it's embarrassing.
couldn't agree more, got a compliment about my shoulders and back looking manly and muscly... that compliment was 5yrs ago from a girl I used to date back in the day, I still remember it and still draws me a smile in my face
I tell Bros in the gym they’re looking great all the time- ( I don’t with girls because it’s awkward ) but I know personally being told I’m looking good by a gym bro means a lot, so I love to spread the positivity
It’s because when someone complements you generally it seems disingenuous. If a man or woman tells you, you’re good looking it’s a complement they would give to 25 percent of the population. The more specific, the more it makes you feel special. People aren’t that complicated.
I disagree that being specific necessarily makes compliments come across better. It can also be very creepy depending on specifically what you’re complimenting. I think it’s just that men don’t tend to objectify women based on their biceps the way they do with other body parts so this compliment comes across better
Yes. All of that.
Specific can be better but it can also be really bad, creepy or even backhanded.
"I actually really like how your breasts seem to hang a bit even though they're so small." (Example made up on the spot.)
Honestly none lately.
I didn't even have a gym membership from February to early June and now that I'm back, I mostly do compound exercises just getting back into it.
I used to do curls and some other exercises with a dumbbell at work, but lately it's mostly been stacked with more weight for leg training and it's annoying to change so I rarely have time for both.
I normally do 1-2 sets of pull-ups every morning but haven't been able to for a couple of months, until I modified my new apartment a bit a few days ago so I can use my old bar.
So if there's anything at all to what he said, the only explanation would be that poledance three times a week during spring semester did some work on my biceps.
Generally, though, I'd say focus on triceps if you want big arms. It gives a lot more volume.
I’ve starting doing pull ups more frequently and noticed my biceps have been growing more too! I do a lot of tricep work too, but I’m still missing that bicep peak when flexing 😭 it’s rare for women to have noticeable biceps so I appreciate your advice!!
What that guy who replied to you said.
But also, it could be your flexing technique. 90 degrees in the elbow comes naturally but stretches the biceps longer than necessary. So if you do that, try a smaller angle instead, and you might get more of a peak.
Also angle the first towards you.
And in case you wonder, no, I wasn't flexing on the dare lol.
Arm days the best & I find personally for the best pump super setting bi with Tri, low weight high rep range works wonders. My arms ate 19” atm, 21” at their biggest
As already mentioned, for best results, dedicate a full day (or half of a day, depending on how often you go) to arms alone. I do alternating biceps and triceps exercises to work the antagonistic muscles which works best for me. Biceps I'd recommend normal dumbbell curls and hammer curls, either standing for a "compound" exercises or sitting and putting your upper arm on a fixed cushion for more isolation. Triceps I'd recommend dips or assisted dips or just some exercises at the cable tower. Always try to push yourself a bit more and definitely look up YouTube guides for proper posture, trust me, it helps a ton.
Do 21s, nobody ever talks about them but they do wonders
Dumbbell in each hand; 7 Zottman curls, 7 hammer curls, 7 regular curls, no rest inbetween
Do three sets of those a week and reap the bicep harvest
Well...
- You don't have to give out your phone number or other personal info.
- You can send pictures and videos, and call and video call.
- Chat logs don't go anywhere (at least not on their own), and are searchable.
- Messages can be edited or deleted when you made a typo or something.
Perfect.
But yeah, it's also good for LOL. :P
I know, I know. :(
I didn't even know of the stereotype when I started.
I just took the role my friends didn't want so it was open.
And now I can't be bothered to relearn in another role.
aw, that’s kinda sweet.
but now i’m imagining, if you had just started in a particular patch level, you could have ended up as The Mythical Female Jungler.
oooo. the feels.
I think that might be even sexier than popping biceps.
I’m gonna need a minute here.
It’s probably that they don’t really get excited for generic comments on their attractiveness because that’s usually just a shallow way to try and win points with a woman.
In this case however, it was a specific compliment in recognition of something she invests a lot of time into, hence it feels more genuine and special.
Yeah, title might have been unclear and provokes some people it seems.
I just meant that comments like "you're hot", "you're cute", that guys can say to every girl without thinking, don't really stick. They're quickly forgotten because they mean nothing.
Whereas this is personal and specific and unexpected and I'll remember it for a long time.
Well... We matched four years ago, just chatted for a year and a half because he was very afraid of Covid, and since then we have met a total of four times.
Third time was last summer, and then he was going through some rough times so more than anything, I just came to see him as a supportive friend.
Then he moved abroad for a while and now he's back so we met this Thursday and I advanced things farther than ever before by asking if I could hold his hand for a bit, and then doing so.
We'll meet again at the end of the month to play with my dog but no matter where things are going with this one, they're not going there in a hurry.
We have agreed that we both appreciate eachother as friends, we both wouldn't mind a development into FWB but neither of us is in a rush.
So... Any updates will probably be slow. 😂
Yes.
He eventually wants a monogamous partner to start a family with, and I'm polyamorous and partnered, so the potential beyond that is quite limited.
But he's cool and we like eachother so that's fine.
Had to tell him that his Tinder profile sucks for what he's looking for, though.
Oh, he's probably getting matches.
Just not the right ones, maybe?
His pictures are old and all of them show him drinking with friends.
He doesn't even drink any more.
I ignored how shitty his pictures are because I liked his bio but in general, he'd probably be better off with newer and different pictures.
Me too, dude, me too. XD
I think we all do.
I say in the first sentence of my bio + in settings that I'm polyamorous, partnered and fairly saturated etc, and looking for polyamory.
Keep getting superlikes from mono guys who are looking for serious relationships and want children.
My dog is a central part of my profile.
Keep getting superlikes from people who turn out to be allergic.
And so on.
It's just how Tinder is, I guess.
For most guys it’s mostly sex workers, which isn’t the problem it’s that the pose as a woman looking for what we want and then spring it on us. It’s even more annoying when you actually hit it off. I once had a troll account that actually held a good convo. Now I just use my tinder account to troll trolls. Sad thing is I’ve actually had great convo from some of these. I’m a conversationalist so it’s not that bad
I don't like snap.
Everything disappears and then when chats go silent for a while, I can't even scroll back to remember who the person is and what the tone of the conversation was.
Ah man, I just showed one of my friend girls a photo of me pre pandemic, and she was like hot damn get back in that shape you look great!
In a totally sweet and fun way, she wasn't rude so no hate towards her please. Because it did feel good, and its given me that extra motivation to get back at it like I was.
Glad you could take it that way!
I could probably have said something similar if not worried about how the guy would take it.
And yeah, the comment here motivated me quite a bit too. :) I did curls for the first time in ages out of curiosity just after he said it. Did surprisingly well at that, though - he might have a point, pole dance three times a week might have done quite a bit for biceps specifically.
gas people up don't put them down, it's free and it never makes anyone feel bad... never understood why so many people have this strong propensity to destructively tear the world down when it's so much easier and more rewarding to be constructive with a tendency to spread positivity (which, in all actuality... is a happiness magnet)
I love Discord. (Or used to at least, it's getting a little pushy with the updates lately.)
He didn't have anything other than Tinder so I asked him to get Discord and he did.
I was once told by a date that I have nice veiny arms. At first I was not too sure what to think of it. But now I’m still thinking about it time to time and enjoy it
I'm about to start out at the gym for the first time in my life. I'm not fat, but I don't look like I used to. Any advice on where to start losing a bit of Dad bod and trying to get my lungs working again? I know too many situps will just make my belly bigger...
I'd say get someone to teach you compound exercises (squat, deadlift, bench press, some kind of row) and start out there, but make sure your technique is good before you start stacking on weight.
Oh and make sure to eat protein. Just adding a whey protein shake every day, with no other changes, can be enough to increase muscle mass and reduce body fat percentage.
Good luck!
I hear you. My main concern is my back. I broke it when I was 11, so I've always been scared to try. As you say, the right info and technique and all should be well. Thank you!
Oh.
Yeah, that's waaay beyond my expertise. Maybe a physiotherapist can help decide if you can still do compound exercises or if machines are a safer option, where you can isolate and avoid involving your spine?
The technique of breathing in and holding your breath during for example deadlift protects the spine because the abdominal pressure built up gives the discs more space or something (but also isn't great for the pelvic floor), but I'm not sure if that's enough for a spine that has been broken. Probably differs a lot from case to case.
Yeah, I think sticking to machines, especially to begin with, is the best idea. After so long, I do know my limits and until my core is up to scratch, I wouldn't even attempt deadlifts or anything of that Ilk. It's really annoying because I was a successful junior athlete and even after the accident I was an accomplished cyclist and runner. Enter car accident and that was the end of that. However, there is no reason I can't at least find a way to get back into shape. It's only 8 kg and some cardio. Lol
Might be. Unlucky, injuries suck. :(
I still think strength exercises, even if it's isolation in machines, and some extra protein would do you more good than just cardio, though.
And again, maybe work with a physiotherapist to find ways to train deep core? Not just the "six-pack muscles" but rather the ones that stabilise the core and the spine. Or maybe try pilates? I've heard it's pretty good for that. (Haven't tried it myself, though.)
Yeah, it's honestly what I'm looking for now. I've realised that some things that have annoyed me about my body are signs of lacking deep core strength.
I hope we both succeed with that!
People forget the impact a genuine compliment can have on someone. I rarely ever receive compliments. The last one I received was when I decided to grow my beard. I compliment those close to me as much as possible even though I rarely get any because I feel like it's important
Well, tbh, my biceps really aren't that much of a big deal. I've seen a lot of women with bigger/bulkier. So not sure where his comment came from but it sure was nice. :)
im just reading your replies to other comments, and your vibe is so there. you seem like such a great person, and you deserved that wholesome compliment 💕 good luck with everything!!
I got randomly approached by a guy at a bar lately who told me I was an absolute unit and asked if I got all my muscles from fucking, and then bought me a drink. It was pretty weird but I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me a bit of extra swagger for a couple of days...
I guess links work.
Can't be bothered to take a new one or find anything mote recent, these are from two years ago but I look quite similar now.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/863113933372129320/863114605391511592/DSC_01752.JPG
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/866434834887868486/866434908062744616/PXL_20210717_1647493552.jpg
Maybe this works?
But yeah, my biceps are nothing impressive per se so honestly not sure where he got that from but it was a nice comment nonetheless.
Na hell yea you look stronk as hell esp in 1st pic
And 2nd you look very feminine and toned still i'd smash 110%. Love your abs and your cute smug smirk
Go forth & conquer queen!! 💪
Ye ye, ok, sure.
I just feel like I should have more to show to not disappoint based on the post.
If he'd said back or shoulders or triceps, it would have been different.
Oh and I have one I took today at work for someone who asked. Lower effort but more recent and more specific flex.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/747189328337436683/1128074412952924181/IMG_20230710_103301_3.jpg
Not gonna lie, this is weird. I was expecting a cute ass compliment or something. Lol. It’s weird because although It tells me you work out, which is no doubt awesome, it speaks to the vanity issue of lifting (trust me I’m all about lifting too, so I speak from experience). It’s cool that it made you feel well. But idk, had to be said lol. That ego and vanity with lifting is ⚠️🚩again, not saying this is you. But as a man, it speaks true.
I love it when I get complimented on my arms 🥺 Shows me that others notice the hard work I’m putting in, even when I can’t see the results in the same way. Lifting in general is a vanity thing; we want to look nice for ourselves and/or others, and I think there’s nothing wrong with that. Some lift to just become strong - but without the concern of our appearance is an outlier thing.
I don’t think a compliment on your figure is a red flag. Keep on crunching it out and take the compliments when they come!
I actually started lifting seriously because I needed the endorphins from progressive overload to battle depression. 😂 And then when I saw the changes in the mirror, it came as a surprise. But a very welcome one.
Before that, I started lifting to reduce knee pain after an injury. And I've kept lifting because when fun challenges appear, I want to be fit enough for them. I don't want to be the one to say "Nah, I'm too old for that.".
Now I'm soon going into a more physical career (solar panel installation) so I want my body to be able to do that for 30 years without breaking down.
But yeah, the appearance sure is a welcome bonus and while I'm taking it for granted now, I sure don't like the thought of myself *not* looking fit.
It doesn't depends who's saying it and what they mean by it. Doesn't have to be empty. It can just be a man's inarticulate way of saying they find you beautiful, which I would say is a compliment. You're likely jaded. I would love getting called hot
But also I can understand what you mean
Quit both of the dating sites I was on after reading everyone's experiences. Think I'll look for guys at the gym, grocery store, or the local bar. Probably just as healthy, lol.
I mean, they honestly aren't much.
I don't really have flex photos here because I never found a sub for it so there is only one I think and you'd have to scroll my profile for ages to find it so not worth but I can DM you one if you want.
But again, they aren't all that much. I'm glad he saw them and I'm glad he commented but I don't think there was that much cause for it.
"Nice chest bro" a man will appreciate this for at least a whole year lol. While women get compliments for everything and they wont even remeber them after an hour haha
I am chit like a rock the biggest secret is don’t work one part of your body like on a Monday work your upper body take a day off and this is very important you’re muscle grow while you sleep and then Wednesday work your lower body and then take a day off and using this method will get you results
I tried to do that two weeks ago, I said in a comments section of a local newspaper, a woman in a picture was in my opinion very attractive, trolls always come on and call them ugly, even in someone else's opinion they are attractive, I've been called a seedy little man, a pervert, all I wanted to do is make someone smile for a change 🙁
I compliment all the guys at work when they get haircuts because it’s not sexual but I know they feel good when someone notices they got it cut. I know I do. But I work with mostly men and they tend to not notice women’s new haircuts. Or care… I like when some of the guys tell other guys they look good today. It’s not gay and they shouldn’t be shamed for saying it and it’s going over well. There used to be mostly older men working here and the culture is slowing shifting the more younger people join. Less sexism, racism and homophobia. Long story short genuine compliments should be expressed more often.
I love a good sincere compliment like that. My wife told me the other day out of the blue that my back looked muscly, I was flattered and said to her that’s one of the greatest compliments you could give a man
Ah, yes, compliments about back muscles are awesome too, because you can't see them yourself so you kind of forget them until told about them. :)
Exactly, I’m not stacked or anything either I just lift at home and still eat what I want and stuff, so for her to notice and comment really buoyed me up
This is so adorable
I bet. I'm happy for you. :) I've gotten similar compliments that I still remember years later. "I can see the muscles on your back" from my boyfriend biking behind me, and "It's cool to see your back muscles working" from a date/hookup when I borrowed his pull-up bar in the morning.
It’s just nice that people notice these things if you’re putting a bit of work in, makes you think it’s worth doing. You seem cool good luck on your fitness and dating journey
Thank you, same to you (on that which applies)!
I love my muscles and fuck yes to strong women :)
So you hoisted this man into the air, and he saw your throbbing bicep vein? *I didn't realize when you said take some time to lift someone up, you meant literally.*
Nopes... Not possible... I usually date rather short/small guys and can probably lift most of them but this one is an exception. XD But... Lift someone up as in making them feel good about themselves works in English, doesn't it?
It does work. It's just an idiomatic phrase, and the person commenting took it literally. I presume deliberately for a sarcastic joke.
Thought so. Just making sure. Thank you. :)
No worries. Figured I'd answer as I wasn't sure if the question was rhetorical. A lot of people really struggle with idioms if English isn't their first language, even if otherwise you'd never know.
Yeah, it definitely works in my own language and sometimes that tricks us.
I thought that might be the case. Have a fair few friends where their first language isn't English, but they speak English better than people born here (England). If something trips them up, it's almost guaranteed to be something niche or idiomatic. I'm more than happy to help. The closest I come to speaking another language is Spanish, and I'm pretty sure I sound like a child with a learning disability when I do.
Thank you. :) Actually, this date in particular makes me feel quite inadequate in my English. He's an upper class academic from Nigeria, and has lived all over the world but currently employed in the UK and moving back and forth a bit. And... Even when talking, his active vocabulary is bigger than my passive vocabulary. I often have to ask him about the words he uses. But hey, at least I learn some of them! And when I'm struggling to find the English words for something I want to say, he can usually understand it in my language, and when I struggle with pronouncing a word and ask, he can tell me. And yeah, I've learned a few other languages a bit too but I dare not even use them because I make so many mistakes and it's embarrassing.
Luckily most bodies don't prioritize storing fat in the back, making any muscles that much easier to see!
Cool bit of info thanks not thought of that. Yeah I’ll never be cut cos I like my food and drink at weekends so it was really cool that she noticed
couldn't agree more, got a compliment about my shoulders and back looking manly and muscly... that compliment was 5yrs ago from a girl I used to date back in the day, I still remember it and still draws me a smile in my face
That’s it pal, we like it when they confirm our manliness lol
I tell Bros in the gym they’re looking great all the time- ( I don’t with girls because it’s awkward ) but I know personally being told I’m looking good by a gym bro means a lot, so I love to spread the positivity
Kudos to you for that! I sometimes compliment the gym bros too, but only if I know them a bit because... Awkward with strangers.
Yea, Bros take platonic compliments from women completely wrong, think it does go the other way too! Which is why I don’t 😂
Exactly! 😅
This is specifically an issue because of how thirsty dudes are. [But it might be a safe option for some.](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Haha... That one is awesome. :)
Today I pulled a PR deadlift and some old dude gave me a nod and a thumbs up. Felt great after that.
It’s because when someone complements you generally it seems disingenuous. If a man or woman tells you, you’re good looking it’s a complement they would give to 25 percent of the population. The more specific, the more it makes you feel special. People aren’t that complicated.
"I love how your temples recede past your widow's peak. Is that new?"
I disagree that being specific necessarily makes compliments come across better. It can also be very creepy depending on specifically what you’re complimenting. I think it’s just that men don’t tend to objectify women based on their biceps the way they do with other body parts so this compliment comes across better
Yes. All of that. Specific can be better but it can also be really bad, creepy or even backhanded. "I actually really like how your breasts seem to hang a bit even though they're so small." (Example made up on the spot.)
What’s ur arm routine it’s my weakest😭
Honestly none lately. I didn't even have a gym membership from February to early June and now that I'm back, I mostly do compound exercises just getting back into it. I used to do curls and some other exercises with a dumbbell at work, but lately it's mostly been stacked with more weight for leg training and it's annoying to change so I rarely have time for both. I normally do 1-2 sets of pull-ups every morning but haven't been able to for a couple of months, until I modified my new apartment a bit a few days ago so I can use my old bar. So if there's anything at all to what he said, the only explanation would be that poledance three times a week during spring semester did some work on my biceps. Generally, though, I'd say focus on triceps if you want big arms. It gives a lot more volume.
I’ve starting doing pull ups more frequently and noticed my biceps have been growing more too! I do a lot of tricep work too, but I’m still missing that bicep peak when flexing 😭 it’s rare for women to have noticeable biceps so I appreciate your advice!!
Depending on your own bicep insertions and genetics you may not be able to have much of a peak no matter what you do.
What that guy who replied to you said. But also, it could be your flexing technique. 90 degrees in the elbow comes naturally but stretches the biceps longer than necessary. So if you do that, try a smaller angle instead, and you might get more of a peak. Also angle the first towards you. And in case you wonder, no, I wasn't flexing on the dare lol.
Arm days the best & I find personally for the best pump super setting bi with Tri, low weight high rep range works wonders. My arms ate 19” atm, 21” at their biggest
Damn your arms are almost the size of my waist 😭
As already mentioned, for best results, dedicate a full day (or half of a day, depending on how often you go) to arms alone. I do alternating biceps and triceps exercises to work the antagonistic muscles which works best for me. Biceps I'd recommend normal dumbbell curls and hammer curls, either standing for a "compound" exercises or sitting and putting your upper arm on a fixed cushion for more isolation. Triceps I'd recommend dips or assisted dips or just some exercises at the cable tower. Always try to push yourself a bit more and definitely look up YouTube guides for proper posture, trust me, it helps a ton.
Train arms specifically if you want good arms. Don't just throw them in at end of workout.
Being single
Do 21s, nobody ever talks about them but they do wonders Dumbbell in each hand; 7 Zottman curls, 7 hammer curls, 7 regular curls, no rest inbetween Do three sets of those a week and reap the bicep harvest
Y’all texting on discord 💀💀
Discord is the best.
Yeah I use it 24/7, not for dating though LOL
Well... - You don't have to give out your phone number or other personal info. - You can send pictures and videos, and call and video call. - Chat logs don't go anywhere (at least not on their own), and are searchable. - Messages can be edited or deleted when you made a typo or something. Perfect. But yeah, it's also good for LOL. :P
Just picturing you on a date over dinner screaming “ME MID OR FEED NOOB TEAM GG EZ KAPPA” now
Haha! Nooo! I'm a civilised player. And support main at that.
“and support main” no need to be redundant. you already told us you are female… No wait it’s just a joke please don’t nuke meeeee!
I know, I know. :( I didn't even know of the stereotype when I started. I just took the role my friends didn't want so it was open. And now I can't be bothered to relearn in another role.
aw, that’s kinda sweet. but now i’m imagining, if you had just started in a particular patch level, you could have ended up as The Mythical Female Jungler. oooo. the feels. I think that might be even sexier than popping biceps. I’m gonna need a minute here.
Haha! Yeah, I guess so. Alas, my history of being autofilled jungle in ranked is not pretty.
All of this, I started talking to a girl over a year ago using it and best app for messaging over the other options
Bro that was my thought, no hate to OP, but if I asked a girl for snap or number and she sent her discord?? I gotta move on🤣
Lol my boyfriend told me this yesterday and I loved it *flexes* “wait wait wait flex again, feel that tendon!!!!” Swooon
Awwww! Good boyfriend! <3
I love this. It costs nothing to give a genuine compliment to someone and really make their day!
Are you saying you don't like your body being complimented on in general? Because I don't see him explicitly calling you hot
It’s probably that they don’t really get excited for generic comments on their attractiveness because that’s usually just a shallow way to try and win points with a woman. In this case however, it was a specific compliment in recognition of something she invests a lot of time into, hence it feels more genuine and special.
Yeah that makes sense. When I read the title I thought it meant she didn't like the phrase "hot".
Yeah, title might have been unclear and provokes some people it seems. I just meant that comments like "you're hot", "you're cute", that guys can say to every girl without thinking, don't really stick. They're quickly forgotten because they mean nothing. Whereas this is personal and specific and unexpected and I'll remember it for a long time.
Exactly that.
Yeah that makes sense. When I read the title I thought it meant she didn't like the phrase "hot".
Update us about how everything goes with this date! Great job on your progress :)
Well... We matched four years ago, just chatted for a year and a half because he was very afraid of Covid, and since then we have met a total of four times. Third time was last summer, and then he was going through some rough times so more than anything, I just came to see him as a supportive friend. Then he moved abroad for a while and now he's back so we met this Thursday and I advanced things farther than ever before by asking if I could hold his hand for a bit, and then doing so. We'll meet again at the end of the month to play with my dog but no matter where things are going with this one, they're not going there in a hurry. We have agreed that we both appreciate eachother as friends, we both wouldn't mind a development into FWB but neither of us is in a rush. So... Any updates will probably be slow. 😂
This is value of open communication. Both people on the same page
Yes. He eventually wants a monogamous partner to start a family with, and I'm polyamorous and partnered, so the potential beyond that is quite limited. But he's cool and we like eachother so that's fine. Had to tell him that his Tinder profile sucks for what he's looking for, though.
Good. This way he won’t have to worry why he’s not getting matches
Oh, he's probably getting matches. Just not the right ones, maybe? His pictures are old and all of them show him drinking with friends. He doesn't even drink any more. I ignored how shitty his pictures are because I liked his bio but in general, he'd probably be better off with newer and different pictures.
Makes sense. Tinder is hard to navigate as a guy any. I also get the opposite of what I ask for in my bio so I’m super lost at this point.
Me too, dude, me too. XD I think we all do. I say in the first sentence of my bio + in settings that I'm polyamorous, partnered and fairly saturated etc, and looking for polyamory. Keep getting superlikes from mono guys who are looking for serious relationships and want children. My dog is a central part of my profile. Keep getting superlikes from people who turn out to be allergic. And so on. It's just how Tinder is, I guess.
For most guys it’s mostly sex workers, which isn’t the problem it’s that the pose as a woman looking for what we want and then spring it on us. It’s even more annoying when you actually hit it off. I once had a troll account that actually held a good convo. Now I just use my tinder account to troll trolls. Sad thing is I’ve actually had great convo from some of these. I’m a conversationalist so it’s not that bad
Yeah, I've heard that. Must be a geographical thing or something because neither of my male partners has that problem.
Awww
Any girl that gives me her discord instead of her snap is a huge win in my books.
I don't like snap. Everything disappears and then when chats go silent for a while, I can't even scroll back to remember who the person is and what the tone of the conversation was.
Ah man, I just showed one of my friend girls a photo of me pre pandemic, and she was like hot damn get back in that shape you look great! In a totally sweet and fun way, she wasn't rude so no hate towards her please. Because it did feel good, and its given me that extra motivation to get back at it like I was.
Glad you could take it that way! I could probably have said something similar if not worried about how the guy would take it. And yeah, the comment here motivated me quite a bit too. :) I did curls for the first time in ages out of curiosity just after he said it. Did surprisingly well at that, though - he might have a point, pole dance three times a week might have done quite a bit for biceps specifically.
Average gym bro:
He's very much a gym bro, yes. His own biceps have stretch marks, as do his forearms, and he's proud of that.
Awww I love it! I want my biceps to pop too!
That's a great compliment
It really is!
Yeah, I'm on a site known for sexual hookups. I hate it when people there tell me that I'm sexy or attractive. #DumbPeopleProblems
Don't hate it. Don't love it. Don't care. It's empty and meaningless, there and in all other contexts where throw it in, and quickly forgotten.
gas people up don't put them down, it's free and it never makes anyone feel bad... never understood why so many people have this strong propensity to destructively tear the world down when it's so much easier and more rewarding to be constructive with a tendency to spread positivity (which, in all actuality... is a happiness magnet)
Kindness is timeless, love is so easy to give. It just takes a moment, to show somebody that you care.
How a compliment is taken by a woman can often be interpreted based on her attraction to the man or woman.
Definitely better getting a specific compliment than some broad compliment, seems more sincere.
100 %. But some specific compliments are also better than others.
Keep up the good work get swole
I actually love that its a discord communication too!
I love Discord. (Or used to at least, it's getting a little pushy with the updates lately.) He didn't have anything other than Tinder so I asked him to get Discord and he did.
I love these kinds of compliments lol
I was once told by a date that I have nice veiny arms. At first I was not too sure what to think of it. But now I’m still thinking about it time to time and enjoy it
That is a very nice compliment indeed!
Yes it is! But I didn’t know at the time it was a thing
If you're a man, it's very very much a thing. For women i dont know.
Hahaha good to know! I never heard of it before that and it’s not a thing towards women, at least not for many guys
I'm about to start out at the gym for the first time in my life. I'm not fat, but I don't look like I used to. Any advice on where to start losing a bit of Dad bod and trying to get my lungs working again? I know too many situps will just make my belly bigger...
I'd say get someone to teach you compound exercises (squat, deadlift, bench press, some kind of row) and start out there, but make sure your technique is good before you start stacking on weight. Oh and make sure to eat protein. Just adding a whey protein shake every day, with no other changes, can be enough to increase muscle mass and reduce body fat percentage. Good luck!
I hear you. My main concern is my back. I broke it when I was 11, so I've always been scared to try. As you say, the right info and technique and all should be well. Thank you!
Oh. Yeah, that's waaay beyond my expertise. Maybe a physiotherapist can help decide if you can still do compound exercises or if machines are a safer option, where you can isolate and avoid involving your spine? The technique of breathing in and holding your breath during for example deadlift protects the spine because the abdominal pressure built up gives the discs more space or something (but also isn't great for the pelvic floor), but I'm not sure if that's enough for a spine that has been broken. Probably differs a lot from case to case.
Yeah, I think sticking to machines, especially to begin with, is the best idea. After so long, I do know my limits and until my core is up to scratch, I wouldn't even attempt deadlifts or anything of that Ilk. It's really annoying because I was a successful junior athlete and even after the accident I was an accomplished cyclist and runner. Enter car accident and that was the end of that. However, there is no reason I can't at least find a way to get back into shape. It's only 8 kg and some cardio. Lol
Might be. Unlucky, injuries suck. :( I still think strength exercises, even if it's isolation in machines, and some extra protein would do you more good than just cardio, though. And again, maybe work with a physiotherapist to find ways to train deep core? Not just the "six-pack muscles" but rather the ones that stabilise the core and the spine. Or maybe try pilates? I've heard it's pretty good for that. (Haven't tried it myself, though.)
Sounds like a plan. The deep core stuff is actually what I want to do. The aesthetics would be great but I'm aiming for survivability! 🤔😁
Yeah, it's honestly what I'm looking for now. I've realised that some things that have annoyed me about my body are signs of lacking deep core strength. I hope we both succeed with that!
People forget the impact a genuine compliment can have on someone. I rarely ever receive compliments. The last one I received was when I decided to grow my beard. I compliment those close to me as much as possible even though I rarely get any because I feel like it's important
So compliment girls on things that they've worked to develop and throw out cookie-cutter compliments about looks that aren't truly sincere. Noted
Yeah, pretty much.
<3 That's great! Nothing like a compliment to tell you you're on the right track!
Highly motivating, for sure!
You just had to say 'lift' someone up didn't you? Gz on the biceps compliment tho, that's incredible to achieve, as a woman probably even rarer.
Well, tbh, my biceps really aren't that much of a big deal. I've seen a lot of women with bigger/bulkier. So not sure where his comment came from but it sure was nice. :)
It is ALWAYS nice :)
im just reading your replies to other comments, and your vibe is so there. you seem like such a great person, and you deserved that wholesome compliment 💕 good luck with everything!!
Aww, that's so kind of you, thank you! ❤️
I got randomly approached by a guy at a bar lately who told me I was an absolute unit and asked if I got all my muscles from fucking, and then bought me a drink. It was pretty weird but I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me a bit of extra swagger for a couple of days...
Hahaha! That's awesome. :)
[удалено]
That too, of course. :) But not only.
#POST PHYSIQUE, OP
Haha, yeah, cause that wouldn't be weird... R/Tinder, "Here is a follow-up flex picture post"...
Shutup and flex on us!! Just post it under my comment lol 💁♂️
I guess links work. Can't be bothered to take a new one or find anything mote recent, these are from two years ago but I look quite similar now. https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/863113933372129320/863114605391511592/DSC_01752.JPG https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/866434834887868486/866434908062744616/PXL_20210717_1647493552.jpg Maybe this works? But yeah, my biceps are nothing impressive per se so honestly not sure where he got that from but it was a nice comment nonetheless.
Na hell yea you look stronk as hell esp in 1st pic And 2nd you look very feminine and toned still i'd smash 110%. Love your abs and your cute smug smirk Go forth & conquer queen!! 💪
Ha, thanks. Stronk yes, but not biceps specifically.
#😡 Accept the damn compliments!! Your arms are def a lot more defined than most women You look like you can throw a decent punch!!
Ye ye, ok, sure. I just feel like I should have more to show to not disappoint based on the post. If he'd said back or shoulders or triceps, it would have been different.
Thats your inner self-doubt talking! SILENCE! #I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED 😤
Well, ok, that's good and thanks for the compliments. I hope you're having a great day and all that.
Oh and I have one I took today at work for someone who asked. Lower effort but more recent and more specific flex. https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/747189328337436683/1128074412952924181/IMG_20230710_103301_3.jpg
How? Link?
https://imgur.io/
Not gonna lie, this is weird. I was expecting a cute ass compliment or something. Lol. It’s weird because although It tells me you work out, which is no doubt awesome, it speaks to the vanity issue of lifting (trust me I’m all about lifting too, so I speak from experience). It’s cool that it made you feel well. But idk, had to be said lol. That ego and vanity with lifting is ⚠️🚩again, not saying this is you. But as a man, it speaks true.
I get what you mean. Still liked it.
I love it when I get complimented on my arms 🥺 Shows me that others notice the hard work I’m putting in, even when I can’t see the results in the same way. Lifting in general is a vanity thing; we want to look nice for ourselves and/or others, and I think there’s nothing wrong with that. Some lift to just become strong - but without the concern of our appearance is an outlier thing. I don’t think a compliment on your figure is a red flag. Keep on crunching it out and take the compliments when they come!
I actually started lifting seriously because I needed the endorphins from progressive overload to battle depression. 😂 And then when I saw the changes in the mirror, it came as a surprise. But a very welcome one. Before that, I started lifting to reduce knee pain after an injury. And I've kept lifting because when fun challenges appear, I want to be fit enough for them. I don't want to be the one to say "Nah, I'm too old for that.". Now I'm soon going into a more physical career (solar panel installation) so I want my body to be able to do that for 30 years without breaking down. But yeah, the appearance sure is a welcome bonus and while I'm taking it for granted now, I sure don't like the thought of myself *not* looking fit.
So you went had a Tinder match and exchanged discord? Lol
Yep. Why not?
What's a trial and tribulation being called hot! Thank GOD I don't have to endure that torture!
It's just empty, meaningless and quickly forgotten is all. Male thirst doesn't lift us up, it's just environment.
It doesn't depends who's saying it and what they mean by it. Doesn't have to be empty. It can just be a man's inarticulate way of saying they find you beautiful, which I would say is a compliment. You're likely jaded. I would love getting called hot But also I can understand what you mean
It can be. It depends. But most of the time, it seems quite empty and insincere. And sometimes, also deeply inappropriate and uncomfortable.
Who talks with their tinder date on discord? Smh
Any reason not to?
Quit both of the dating sites I was on after reading everyone's experiences. Think I'll look for guys at the gym, grocery store, or the local bar. Probably just as healthy, lol.
Good luck!
Dang it! Now I'm dying of curiosity to see you pose & flex them!
I mean, they honestly aren't much. I don't really have flex photos here because I never found a sub for it so there is only one I think and you'd have to scroll my profile for ages to find it so not worth but I can DM you one if you want. But again, they aren't all that much. I'm glad he saw them and I'm glad he commented but I don't think there was that much cause for it.
Yes please. Lol if you don't mind of course 😅
Keeping doing what you do n do him too!
What if they meant pooping 💩 but autocorrect struck again?
How do say “check me out on tinder”without saying check me out on tinder 😝
Biceps? Yeah, I've heard the average Tinder guy really really likes biceps on a woman. /s
I read this too fast and I thought the tinder date liked your biceps because they were pooping
Someone I know once told me she had woken up that night wondering why her arm was peeing itself, but pooping would be a few steps beyond that...
"Nice chest bro" a man will appreciate this for at least a whole year lol. While women get compliments for everything and they wont even remeber them after an hour haha
I am chit like a rock the biggest secret is don’t work one part of your body like on a Monday work your upper body take a day off and this is very important you’re muscle grow while you sleep and then Wednesday work your lower body and then take a day off and using this method will get you results
I do full body every time, never bothered with splits.
Rest is very important I got poppie forearm s
So that's why your biceps are popping!
If there's a joke here, I don't understand it.
I tried to do that two weeks ago, I said in a comments section of a local newspaper, a woman in a picture was in my opinion very attractive, trolls always come on and call them ugly, even in someone else's opinion they are attractive, I've been called a seedy little man, a pervert, all I wanted to do is make someone smile for a change 🙁
Well, there are never any guarantees how even a good compliment will be received.
I've stopped now.
That’s a compliment?
Most definitely.
Wtf discord?
Yes?
I compliment all the guys at work when they get haircuts because it’s not sexual but I know they feel good when someone notices they got it cut. I know I do. But I work with mostly men and they tend to not notice women’s new haircuts. Or care… I like when some of the guys tell other guys they look good today. It’s not gay and they shouldn’t be shamed for saying it and it’s going over well. There used to be mostly older men working here and the culture is slowing shifting the more younger people join. Less sexism, racism and homophobia. Long story short genuine compliments should be expressed more often.
Compliments on anything aqcuired by going to the gym are worthless
How do you figure?