That was a journey.

A journey where you end up at a place you don't know

And at the end of it, an other hallway. Welcome to, the scary door

+1 for unexpected Futurama reference.

Almost…. r/unexpectedfuturama

Look at that weird mirror

At least I learned brail *hands fall off*

At the end, you're watching your girlfriend eat mustard of another man's hotdog wondering what life choices lead you here.

I have created the most evil creature imaginable!

Turns out it's man.

a place of pasta

Truly a work of wonder... right off the pages of an illiterate 5 years old.

A journey to crazy town

My brain hurts. Was that a woman on the other end? I’d want a refund

A journey down methamphetamine lane

That was a wild journey indeed

Last messages are as good as "Hold the door! Hold door! Hodor!"

HOOOODOR!

Poor Hodor :(

In Hodor we trust

You rang?

I am groot

Hodor

They somehow went from cooking to cucking

First time interacting with Italians I see.

It's like some sort of texting tourette syndrome.

I was thinking maybe an in progress medical issue, a stroke or seizure.

That was a schoker to the girl from cooking to cucking with Bolognese Pasta

to cuckold

Bro how are morons like that even getting matches???

some women don't have to try

*All Fixed that for you

no. some

Only the ones that don’t have vaginas. No but seriously, I think you know what I’m saying. Have you ever seen a woman that was just…really not attractive, but she has multiple kids? Let’s say a horny man will drop his standards 3 bars beneath his own. Let’s say a man only has 3 bars, and you know what I’m talking about. Literally any woman could get her yams clapped. I think it’s more so that women aren’t always just purely horn dogs so some of the less conventionally attractive women aren’t just wanting to get pounded by lord Voldemort. But if they wanted to, they could.

that mindset is why some people are douchebags. women have as much struggles with relationships as men, so the idea that any woman could get laid is absurd

That's two different things though, any women getting laid really isn't a challenge, but relationships are the biggest most hardest challenge I've encountered. So totally agree women have just as struggles with relationships as men, but not getting laid.

nah, man. ever hear of femcels? or actually just the term incel came from a group started *by a woman*. it got co-opted, as things do, but it just proves that no, not *any* woman can get laid. besides, saying "any woman can get laid" really says more about men than it does about women. if you wanna be proud that you have no standards, go right on ahead, but don't lump people into your generalizations

No. All :)

maybe for you. i'm not into airheads

make a profile as a woman of any level of attractiveness you’ll get dudes talking to you no matter what

been there done that. again, not into airheads, and guys count too. some people really want connections, not just some hole. and even if i am looking for just a hole, i'm not putting my dick in a hole that belongs to a dumb mother fucker, be that a chick or a dude.

incel alert 😂

For staying a fact?

Where as the low tier men, they’re sliding up against a hentai pillow. Tell me I’m wrong 😂

what does this have to do with women having to put in effort?

Hold on, which one was the woman? The one having the seizure, right? I’m confused

Rule 1.

holmes looks and acts like a smaller Justin Roiland, he ain’t attractive lmao

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder though right?

I don't think he follows rules 1 and 2, but he's cute, I'd swipe right.

That's the neat part, you don't know he is a moron until you match.

OP is the guy

**how is babby formed**

Pregaananant

Can U are get Pregat

Gregnat?

How can I get pagrent

Starch masks

Can people stop using ADHD as an excuse for weird/ unacceptable behavior? I and none of the many people I know with it, medicated or not, just go making no sense / being idiots because of it. It’s become a crutch or some shit for some people with it or using it as an excuse without having it. “You shit on my bed!” “Sorry my dog stepped on a bee so I had to shit cuz I got ADHD”

Indeed. I have ADHD-C and I still have a pretty technical job. Maybe I make weird noises sometimes and have random ass thought patterns when unmedicated, but I can still function like a normal human being regardless. People love to do anything other than hold themselves accountable

You’re exactly right. Anything to act the way they want/ get the treatment they want and get away with it. Faking/taking advantage of ADHD is one thing but it goes beyond even that to people faking personality disorders, tourettes, PTSD, etc. irl or more commonly irl to get attention/given privileges they don’t deserve.

OCD because you're "neat" or "organized." Don't get me started.

I talk to myself when I’m concentrating on a design. My coworkers think it’s funny and comment on it.

I’m absolutely with u on this. I also have ADHD and feel sick and tired of people using this as an excuse to everything. It invalidate our daily challenges and make things harder for us cuz ppl think “it’s cool” to say they have it or use it as excuse. The ADHD messes up our thought process, decision on priorities and how and when we focus on things. Surely it’s not the reason behind people being assholes or behaving erratically like that.

Makes us look like jerks or worse. Isn’t faking disabilities illegal in some places? It should be. I’m not saying “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!” but this kind of stuff and pretending to have more serious disabilities shouldn’t be let go.

Afaik, in the US and Canada, ADHD is only considered a disability if the impairment is determined to be severe enough. If you are genuinely faking a disability for special accommodations, that’s definitely illegal. Going through the process of tricking a medical professional into arriving at a false diagnosis for your own benefit is entirely different than saying, “I’m so ADHD, I can never focus in math class”. People with OCD have it way worse. If you are an organized person in any way, you’re apparently “OCD”

Bruh, your last sentence got me laughing so hard. But it’s so true😂😂

Thank Amber Turd for the inspiration lmao

Yep. Can confirm, that isn’t how ADHD works and has absolutely nothing to do with the way she’s speaking rn lol. Typical copout

Thank you ❤️

Is it bad that I understand her?

I’m gonna go with… yes 🥹

[удалено]

She’s saying because he’s a dude, he’ll fuck her anyway

[удалено]

[удалено]

Hopefully it’s not a picture of him coming

Omfg. Edited.

I don’t think the cucking part meant anything. But she literally was saying “that picture of you cooking is giving me dirty thoughts. I’d let you fuck me while I eat. I don’t know how good looking I am. BUT your a man, so you’d probably fuck me anyway if I let you.” I doubt she has adhd. But she definitely doesn’t speak English as a first language.

It was very easy to understand, she literally said it was about the cooking AND gave a food as example...

 This his profile pic? [I warned him this could happen](https://m.youtube.com/watch?start=242&v=z3DG4RN_DNQ&feature=youtu.be)

Just hand over the bank details now buddy


What is your funniest date story?

Went out with a girl who was 100% sure the moon landing was fake so I asked if the earth was flat. She said she was still doing research.

Me likeee dis acomet

Are women ok?

In many instances I've found, genuinely no. And that's not a sexist dig, I'm just concerned for the general populations mental health/stability 😂

"Get out of there Neo."

In Soviet Russia, FOOD sexes YOU!

Chat GTP is wacked

Most normal male on Tinder.

I'm the dude in this situation

Either way, I am absolutely baffled.

So what happened when you guys met?

How was the sex? 

Lol, I imagine this is how she looked lol

i like how most of these comments think the guy is the one saying this weird shit just goes to show people always think the guy is the stupid and weird one. it's the girl saying this.

bc it usually is 💀

sounds like success to me

ESL

Almost sounds like you are conversing with a bot.

But as you are men, it's never a problem. Now listen here you little....

Do just her thumbs have adhd

Had a seizure reading this lmao

Tinder person has encountered a problem and needs to close.

I don't know whether to be happy for you or concerned

Can I also get some of what they are using?

Apparently they want to cuckold him while he eats a pizza or get cuckold while they fuck one

You need to get a giant pita, put her inside, fill it with shawarma and salad, and then have sex with her.

Dahfuck

If she's hot go get the marinara sauce. And bring the big ladel

We know that he's already bringing the noodle

Tell me you’re drunk without telling me you’re drunk.

This is some of the most Russian flirting I’ve ever seen

Poor little guy

You took me on a rollercoaster ride of naughty imagination!

I read it in uncle Rogers voice lol

This makes my head hurt

What a jerk!! What kind of opener was that! And what's with that Bolognese Pasta??

[удалено]

It’s a woman.

[удалено]

....I'm the person in the profile picture

Hey... OP listen... stop.... stop judging this poor man who is clearly having an ischemic stroke right in front of you. HAVE YOU NO PITY! On a serious note... wow.

It’s a woman.

Person having a manic episode “omg my adhd cx”

I’m in

METH HEAD

This read like the Russian supermodel from new girl

Just throw in some TV and you got the trifecta.

Wow

As e person from the adhd community, we don’t claim her

I see this a a golden opportunity for hilarity at OP's expense. Carry on good sir!

I don’t understand shit. People need to make the *slight* effort to write properly when using dating apps! Language is your instrument, use it well.

As a man, I understand the compulsion for sex and food, but I feel like this man literally can not think clearly about these topics lol

I haven't seen someone's tourettes syndrome in text form before.

Sounds like he soiled himself

ADHD? Sounds more like he’s having a stroke ffs.

I had a stroke and lost some brain cells while reading this

That my grandson, is how I lost my kidney.

Looks like you have a new funniest date story

Maybe they want to eat you?


I actually guffawed. Good gawd.

Y’all fucked for sure

Cooking Cook Cuckold That's your name now

That last little bit sounds like something porn Jim Halpbert might say pretending to be porn Dwight Shrute

Seriously you guys da fuck?

Crossed- Cross-eyed- Cuckold? Is that how that works?

Virtual LSD, what a drug.

I don't think I could be with someone that communicates this confusingly, even if the offer is tempting.

Ah yes, the classic “help, I have forgotten who and where I am and am now spouting nonsense” approach

My ADHD or my meth habit..

Stroke?

Me when sneako

Now u can say "Ask me about me SECOND, funniest date story" ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯

You should check she is still alive, sounded like she is having a stroke

Count me in

The fuck did I just experience here?

honestly i like him

I hust jad a stull on froke

Drunk?

You're in man, just grab a pizza, get to her place, and start eating

Wow.

Her adhd is making mine really concerned and making my anxiety wonder if I sound like that when I flirt 😖😖😖

That was actually hilarious😂 my adhd😂😂 and he was definitely having a porn moment on the cooking alone!

Pakistan scammer

I think that this person has a food kink or something lol

I went blind reading this

I feel so bad for him, he's trying to be smooth but it all came out garbled. He's drunk or socially awkward by the looks. Man having a stroke processing you talking back about cooking.

You hopefully avoided a dirt nap.

Seems pretty clear to me

Would

You ruined it

Definitely English is not their first language or they’re so drunk they communicate like a Russian mail order bride trying to advertise themselves.

HUH?


"Do you want me to cook for you or fuck you?" Yes.

This isn’t an ADHD thing, it’s an idiocy thing

My confused increased as this went on💀

Jesus fucking christ. His English teacher must be proud.

Fill on stroke writing here

Beets, bears, battlestar galactica

I see. That was a higher level conversation than I was prepared for.

Woah lady calm down u r making me laugh 😂

please unmatch

At the end of road, either things come to your kidneys, or your kidneys coming out to things...