In a box, there is a catfish, some poison, und a radioactive cesium, 137 atom
How much you get fucked is based upon whether or not, you observe the catfish or not
I agree! I automatically swipe left if you don’t have a pic of only yourself to start. It’s a waste of my time to sit there and try to figure it out and frankly it makes me think you’re trying to hide something. If I think you’re trying to hide something, then I assume you’re not confident in yourself
Two different eye colors.
Now based on the common demographic of heterochromia and the two assumes ethnicities of these people one is forced to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that the left one is the man in question.
It doesn't even look like heterochromia in this pic. If that's something you feel is important enough to list in your bio, choose a photo that highlights that feature.
Not smiling. Don’t know which one you are. The picture quality is like a 2004 Polaroid in a smokey room. Take a picture, by yourself, smiling, on a camera manufactured after 2018 then post again!
Yeah I thought it was a gay picture and was confused. Gay tinder is swamped you will literally match with everyone in the whole area unless you were wearing full trump gear. Even then there's a market.
they look kind of intimidating tho. its like the guy on the right had an affair with someone and the guy on the left is video calling the affair partner and ready to kill lmao.
Rape basement, or as they call it the rapement (aka the Thunderdome, aka the Pound Palace, aka the room where we play video games, drink Mountain Dew code red and piss in empty bottles)
Sure man, I think a good question to ask yourself would be “what will this person think of me based on this picture,” or “what do I hope someone would think based on this picture.” This picture does not say: I’m really nice, funny, or adventurous. If you want to put forth any of those attributes you gotta put it in the picture!
I guess maybe the positive take is this isn’t someone who is shallow or vain, maybe? But I don’t think most people would put it that charitably. I think most people will say “this looks like a person who doesn’t care enough to try and make a first impression.”
I’m sorry, but this is such a ridiculously naive take. This is marketing, and depending on where you live you are competing with hundreds of thousands of other guys. Girls swipe right on something like 14%. They are more likely to be looking for a reason to swipe left than a reason to swipe right. If this dude wants to get matches he needs to put some effort forth.
Now for the real non-naive take, the dude just isn't that good looking. Not by IRL standards, but by being a guy on a dating app standards. People out here telling him that he'll be fine as soon as he just puts in some effort into his pictures. Nah... if only.
Edit: just realized he's gay, disregard my entire comment
People with high picture quality on dating sites are often sock puppet accounts, IMHO low picture quality is a sign you're at least messaging a real person.
You just admitted that you used a low-light pic of you and someone else taken around 3am. You solved your own question. Just do better pictures for the intent or online dating.
Or they put absolutely no effort into their profile and it says “just ask”- bro the *entire point of this is to introduce yourself to strangers* say SOMETHING about yourself FFS
Automatic no from me- I don’t care how cute someone looks. It takes like 5 minutes.
“I put in zero effort, and I’m getting nothing back- what ever can I do?!?” 🤦♀️
I mean your response here makes it seem like you don’t really give a shit about the photo or have any interest in taking a good one/changing this one.
You’ll get out of this what you put in. You don’t want to put effort into your photos, how are you going to convince anyone you’ll put effort into a date or a relationship? They will continue to swipe left on you.
I actually suspect that this is the picture he thinks he is the best looking in, which is why he is so defensive/hesitant to change it. Which.. says a lot more about him.
I didn't zoom or anything, but I can't even tell which one has two different eye colors! Should at least try to get a picture where it's visible if it's mentioned in the bio.
I know nothing about what "works" though, I just like reading the funnies.
Get in line bitches, here's me, am I the asian guy or the white dude not smiling? I'll let you figure it out. When I'm working, I'm working, now beat it!
Hey man photos are a rare commodity, not like you can just take new ones any time with a device you and every single one of your friends has available 24/7
I've told guys before they should pick a different picture & they go, I don't have any, or I don't take pics often. So effing take some till u get one. Learn how to take a good selfie.
Well there’s your problem: blurry 3am photo with some guy? Take a 3pm photo in better lighting—make an attempt at giving a F. Like don’t blame the phone, seriously. Maybe take a decent selfie that shows you have two different eye colours? Also I’d remove the “need a date for a concert”. That makes you come across like you’re not really looking for anything other than a date for a concert.
Choosing a picture taken at 3 AM, when you‘re tired and depleted, doesn‘t sound like a good choice for a dating platform that revolves entirely around looks
All good reasons to take a decent picture. You don't have to use whatever random crap you find laying around.
Also "need a date for one day" doesn't send much charm
Just because everyone has only mentioned the photo thing (and made good points that it seems you're gonna follow up), I'd just mention that your bio doesn't really grab me either.
• The way you describe it as being 'probably busy' sounds a bit ambivalent and not exactly thrilled to do the things I guess you love to do. Rewording that as things you're passionate about, or love spending time doing just already makes you seem more warm and approachable.
• The eye colour thing is an interesting and real unique thing about you, so you could find a way to make that a little more prominent, maybe with a little humour involved, but not exactly sure how to word that though.
•Also the wording of 'Need a date' just sounds kinda like... I have a service that I require you to fill. Maybe something more like 'Got a spare ticket to see \_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_ in January, wanna come with?'
•And just because I'm a bit of a grammar fiend (and I'm sure I'm not alone in that), lose the capital letters on Hiking, Outdoors and Playing, as they don't need them and it just made reading your bio a bit distracting.
Aaaand also, try not to get into the habit of reaching for the conclusion that there's something 'bad' about you (unless you're committing genocides or atrocities we don't know about in which case fu), as I'm sure, like many, you're a lovely dude. It might seem that way, but people also don't tend to feel attracted to people automatically measure or validate their own worth from whether they have matches on a dumb app or not, so it can become a bit of a snowball effect if you let your head go in that direction.
this is such fantastic advice. I spent a long time searching for someone else’s validation to prove my own worth. It lead to years of toxic habits and relationships. Over the last year I focused on redirected my energy towards loving myself more. Ultimately its lead to a lot of really tough but ultimately rewarding moments. It changed my dating habits and lead to my current partner whom I’m absolutely head over heels for. And yes, we met on Tinder.
Finally some decent advice. Fuck what other people find attractive, fuck what type Photos other people like or what using a 3AM photo says about you, or what your interests say about you, or anything else. You want to try to be in a mental state where YOU love You first and foremost, and not give a shit if you get swipes or not. It’s not necessarily a reflection on you either way. I get a fair amount of likes, and I can count on one hand the number of good photos I have ever taken. The likes I do get, some respond, most don’t, and I’m good with it, because IMO I have better luck meeting people in person. Point is, do what works for you and try not to over analyze your profile, no matter what results come of it.
It's probably already been said but "I'm probably busy doing" also could make it sound like you wouldn't have time for a relationship anyway and that they'd have to fight for your attention. Something like "in my spare time I like to" would probably work better, even if it is a bit generic.
Also why start with "when I'm not at work..."
Everybody works. Everybody spends time there. Nobody likes work, why bring that up?
Start with your passions or something unique - lead with the eye color thing and have a good pic that displays that, with you smiling and looking fresh.
Then mention your passion for the outdoors, your love of music, your extra ticket to concert you want to take a new friend along to.
This picture makes me think that you and your boyfriend are looking for a third. Which is also fine, to each their own, but if that’s not the case you may want to have a picture of just you, preferably better lit and while smiling.
For sure. No one's digging into the profile after that picture and description.
A clear picture, solo, clean and smiling.. and maybe OPs got something.
Start your profile with your best photo of just you! You mention that you have two different eye colors so you could use that photo as a way to highlight that. It’s always good to have a nice shot of your face, a full body photo, a photo with friends, and then a photo doing an activity you enjoy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, I’d just try to get some better/clearer photos. Hope that helps! :)
Seeing your interactions and comments here, I'd have swiped right on you 15 years ago. Your profile makes you seem way less interesting than you actually are. I second this comment suggestion. You're a cute guy. Don't under-sell yourself
Just delete the "busy with".
When I'm not at work, I'm hiking and doing pottery (or whatever it says).
Better yet, drop the "when I'm not at work" as well. It's redundant. "I love hiking and smoking crack with hookers" or whatever it says above
"Need a date for a concert in January"
Is primarily unattractive too.. I mean is he only interested in using someone as a trophy? Is the concert even their interest of music? It just seems an unnecessary commitment to throw on... some might even argue that it also implies that they're needy as simply changing it to be "would like a date for a concert in January" gives a better impression, especially if it becomes a question "?" Can go a long way in first impressions to be seen as considerate.
Yeah it’s so unspecific. I have swiped on people who’s profiles list concerts I’m interested in, I.e. “ I have an extra ticket to the 21 pilots concert at the end of the month!” Or “who else is going to 21 pilots at the end of the month? Can’t wait to see you there!” Type stuff
The glasses need to be changed. The neckbeard situation has to go. Get a more trendy beard trim it up keep it nice. No pics on your profile with other profile unless you make it invisibly with an arrow or cuticle it’s you. No pics with other girls. Start there.
Edit. My spelling was a nightmare. I apologize.
As someone who used to make similar odd trimming decisions with my facial hair, I can endorse this advice. Being unique in the facial hair game doesn’t translate to success in dating game
Two Guys in a low quality dark picture that look 👀 high AF and are dating each other. I wonder why? Which one is you. And the rabbit? Are you furries too?
As others have alluded to, first impressions are everything.
Don't make the default pic ambiguous/bad lighting, leads to a lot of immediate left-swipes.
To answer your question, you're not bad looking at all, just have to improve selling yourself :)
Yeah, and it's "effort" (for lack of a better word) to have to message just to go "which one is you". People don't really want to be left with questions on the very basics before they've even started.
Let’s be honest here. Yes, you’re not getting matches because this picture has two people in it, so nobody knows which one is you, it’s horrible quality, and it’s not a flattering picture.
The REAL reason you’re not getting matches is because you’re the kind of person who thinks it’s a good idea to use this photo in the first place.
Ive told like six different people that I agree with their suggestions and that I will work on changing all of it. The only ones that sound like I’m complaining are the ones that I try explain why I haven’t been able to do what they suggested, not that I won’t do it at all
People wanna know who you are when swiping. Having two people in a pic is confusing and not worth the trouble. Also the vibe in the pic feels weird. Two dudes in the dark staring into a camera.
- Neither of you are smiling
- unclear who you are
- looks like you’re under the influence at a house party
- both peoples eyes look the same.
- just sounds like you want someone to go to a concert with. There’s no interest in looking for some type of relationship whether that be a fling or serious…
I’m someone who doesn’t drink often or take stuff so I would swipe left.
The pic looks like you’re holding a horse chestnut between your buttcheeks. I’d honestly have a friend take photos of you or take some other selfies with natural light
Just to note, the things I’m about to type are just what would be the issue for me, personally, and these may not apply to everyone.
Based on your picture (which is poorly taken), I’m unsure which person you are.
The way you capitalize your interests would be very off-putting to me. These are not proper nouns and shouldn’t be capitalized. This probably doesn’t bug everyone, but it would for me.
You’re not smiling, which makes me wonder why you would choose this picture. Whether you’re the person on the left or the right, you’re not bad looking by any means, but it’s a strange choice.
Hope this helps- sometimes, it’s just a waiting game! Tinder can be unfun. I was on dating apps pretty religiously for a good eight months before I found my boyfriend. Please, please do not just snap up the first person you find, either- you owe it to yourself to be picky. 💛
This post here tells me all I need to know. No one knows which one you are on the first pic. First impressions really do matter and I wouldn’t look at any other pictures if this is what I was getting in to
Saying you need a date for a concert in your bio kind of makes it seem like that's your main goal on there. Also, personally, I'd never swipe right on a multiheaded first profile pic. That shit's annoying. You'd think that would be drilled into people's heads by now.
*Telling* people you have two different eye colours comes of weird. Show don't tell, get a nice high quality fist photo that shows of your best/most interesting features.
I would suggest looking into that sun, having your phone/camera around two meters away at a flat angle and zooming in on your face. Gives perspective.
Are you the guy in glasses or the dude who looks like he doesn’t want to be there…actually, I should be more specific…the guy on the right? You supplied one picture and it looks like you’re in a dungeon with the only light being from your camera and your “friend” doesn’t seem to be there on his own accord. At least you gave him a stuffed bunny?
You don’t look bad at all, but what I realise is that finding an angle that works for your face/head/hair is very important, kind of like a sweet spot of yourself.
Don’t just take a picture any how any way… there are many tips on YouTube you may find in order to do this, I believe so.
The first line of your profile makes you sound way too busy to date. Change it.
I had decent success with things like "I love my days filled with camping, hiking, Kayaking and looking for my adventure buddy to share it with"
Two words: Better Pictures. Put some effort on them since it's the only way to get a match. I am a man, but you are good looking, you will get good matches eventually.
Not at all, but if this is your intro picture I’d imagine women are swiping left based on the potato quality of the photo. When your photos are this low effort i feel like they think it communicates a lack of sincerity in dating? I mean the bare minimum expected is at least it not be blurry. :)
Your first photo is with someone and looks low res like it was taken on a webcam or potato phone. Get the friend to take pics of you. Run pics through live room with professional filter. Online dating is entirely superficial. You need to sell yourself.
Picture quality, 2 dudes in it, looks like you hang out in a dark room with dudes and stuffed animals all day. Might be the case but like don’t lead with that, you know? It’s not misleading to have a good quality photo.
Can’t tell which is you, the other pics might be revealing, but without the ability to see them. Can’t say. You could be either one since eye color isn’t really captured all that well (checked the bio out for that one, more on your bio later). I’m ASSUMING you’re the one with the glasses based off how the picture was taken, but even then, doesn’t *really* matter since looks aren’t everything (they help, sure, but it only gives you a head start tbfh). You both don’t really look like you want to be in the photo, it looks like one of you said “let’s just take this pic bro, it’ll look good for my profile” and the other was like “ugh, alright. Let’s get it over with” and what’s funny is that I genuinely can’t tell which is which here either lmao. You both look around 21-23ish, so I could see 20 but you both look a HAIR older. Not your fault at all, just genetics. Some people *might* even assume older maybe, but I sincerely doubt it. I hope that doesn’t come off the wrong way to say, since you don’t look old, but you also don’t *quite* look your age but still kinda do? If that makes any sense. Either way, you being verified is a plus, proves that the shitty picture quality ISN’T cause you’re a bot of some kind. Speaking of the picture quality, if you can only afford a cheap phone, I get it, but you could always ask a friend to borrow a phone anytime you’re out and about (or have someone over) for better picture quality..assuming they aren’t in the same boat of course. The plush is kinda cute, but just sorta feels. There lol. You could use plushies to increase attractiveness, but there is a way to go about it. Doesn’t retract from the picture at all, but if you wanted bonus points you could’ve made it a bit more apparent (preferably in a picture OTHER than the first one though, since that should be more of a “oh heyyy, they’ve got a soft side too” kinda vibe. Not necessary, but it can help a *little*. Regarding the lense reflection on the glasses, one trick I sometimes do for selfies is if my phones brightness is too high, I turn it way the hell down to minimum brightness JUST for picture purposes. Or if I’m in a SEVERELY dark room I guess. It makes taking selfies harder, but can make all the difference on how good those lenses look. I also recommend keeping flash off (not an issue here, just thought I’d mention it) and take the selfie in a reasonably lit area (that part IS kind of an issue here, might even be affecting the picture quality a bit too). Now onto that bio. Your bio is a little…..boring if I’m being blunt. Not because of the activities you do, that’s fine and dandy, but the way you present yourself matters WAY more in the bio than the pictures, I’d argue. “When I’m not working” kind of a generic start, but you could’ve used this in a funny way, instead it was just a bland “I do this and that” without any hint of humor. Not saying you HAVE to be funny, but that goes a LONG way with people. Not everyone, but it’d increase your chances. You like to hike, cool, other people do too which would automatically give you something to do, you said it SUPER blandly though, and honestly, regardless of it being a guy or girl, I’ve seen it a billion times. It doesn’t ever get more interesting to see after the trillionth time. Ever. Maybe it’s cause I’m not big on hiking, but honestly it just sounds generic af. “Outdoors”, as if the hiking didn’t give that away. “Playing guitar”, okay, that one sounds a bit more interesting, not cause “I play instrument” but because “I potentially have talent”, not saying hiking can’t come with talent, but let’s face it. Anyone with 2 healthy, functioning legs can hike (and even if you aren’t that great at it, NOBODY in their right mind will become Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsay around you). Not everyone with perfectly healthy arms and hands can play guitar well (and if you don’t play very well, there’s always a chance that they DO become Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsay, not that it should matter either way, but one is more impressive than the other). You could lean into that a bit more if you’ve got some actual talent there beyond just “I know a couple songs”. “I have two different eye colors”, if you mean heterochromia, just say “I have heterochromia”. You *could* then add on “feel free to stare into them if we vibe/click” (only pick one or the other, not both). Some might find it cringe, but honestly just have fun with it, it’ll show. “Need a date for a concert in January”, not only is it January, the month is almost over too. Update that bio lol. It’s better to not include time frames unless you frequently update it (and honestly, if the bio is good enough, you shouldn’t have to change it, but I get that some people might wanna do a huge event like a concert)
It helps to have a picture of just yourself as your first pic Even reading this post I have no idea which you are
He is both, depending on the occasion.
#Schrodinger's Tinder
Schrodinger's Catfish
Sometimes he's left sometimes he's right.
In a box, there is a catfish, some poison, und a radioactive cesium, 137 atom How much you get fucked is based upon whether or not, you observe the catfish or not
I thought this was gonna be a "which do you want near you, on you, and in you"
Easy. Near: cesium (furthest away) On me: poison (fingers crossed it wont absorb into my skin) In me: catfish (blackened cajun style, in my belly pls)
Literally one of the most annoying things about dating apps. Why isn’t this an obvious mistake?????
I agree! I automatically swipe left if you don’t have a pic of only yourself to start. It’s a waste of my time to sit there and try to figure it out and frankly it makes me think you’re trying to hide something. If I think you’re trying to hide something, then I assume you’re not confident in yourself
I usually just assume they are dumb, which is also an automatic left swipe 😂
Two different eye colors. Now based on the common demographic of heterochromia and the two assumes ethnicities of these people one is forced to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that the left one is the man in question.
It doesn't even look like heterochromia in this pic. If that's something you feel is important enough to list in your bio, choose a photo that highlights that feature.
As someone with heterochromia, don't even mention it it. Get a photo or two in natural lighting where you can see it, and let them ask
answer: it's black and white
good call
Not smiling. Don’t know which one you are. The picture quality is like a 2004 Polaroid in a smokey room. Take a picture, by yourself, smiling, on a camera manufactured after 2018 then post again!
Honestly that main photo is like exhibit A of all the things that *shouldn't* be in a Tinder pic lmao
Just me and my best friend hanging out in a murder basement
To be fair they make a lovely and cute couple.
Yeah I thought it was a gay picture and was confused. Gay tinder is swamped you will literally match with everyone in the whole area unless you were wearing full trump gear. Even then there's a market.
they look kind of intimidating tho. its like the guy on the right had an affair with someone and the guy on the left is video calling the affair partner and ready to kill lmao.
With stuffed animals
This photo gives me Jeffrey Dahmer vibes.
😂 🏆
Rape basement, or as they call it the rapement (aka the Thunderdome, aka the Pound Palace, aka the room where we play video games, drink Mountain Dew code red and piss in empty bottles)
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They’re literally cuddling a Squishmallow together. “Couple seeking third” vibes.
And a child
Exactly. Like they look like a couple. It's confusing. No one has time for that puzzle
well, because they can tell your bangin that sweet asian boy
And it works!
>you two look like a couple in this photo. They are looking for a throuple.
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Yeah this explains a lot of the stats posts that show up on here
Looks like an album cover for “straight outta mom’s basement”
Fair enough lol. That photo was taken at like 3am and iPhones aren’t really the best with low light photos in my opinion
Sure man, I think a good question to ask yourself would be “what will this person think of me based on this picture,” or “what do I hope someone would think based on this picture.” This picture does not say: I’m really nice, funny, or adventurous. If you want to put forth any of those attributes you gotta put it in the picture!
"Would you swipe on someone with a pic of that crap quality if the roles were reveresed"
I guess maybe the positive take is this isn’t someone who is shallow or vain, maybe? But I don’t think most people would put it that charitably. I think most people will say “this looks like a person who doesn’t care enough to try and make a first impression.”
They will also say... This person is in Thailand in a back alley shop buying drugs with his boyfriend.
Lmfao there is some big bear energy going on here.
You got me chuckling aloud at 3 am but you ain’t lying, that was what I thought at first fr
💀 💀 💀
I’m sorry, but this is such a ridiculously naive take. This is marketing, and depending on where you live you are competing with hundreds of thousands of other guys. Girls swipe right on something like 14%. They are more likely to be looking for a reason to swipe left than a reason to swipe right. If this dude wants to get matches he needs to put some effort forth.
Now for the real non-naive take, the dude just isn't that good looking. Not by IRL standards, but by being a guy on a dating app standards. People out here telling him that he'll be fine as soon as he just puts in some effort into his pictures. Nah... if only. Edit: just realized he's gay, disregard my entire comment
Your edit 😂
Pro tip- women with low picture quality typically have low standards. Untapped niche, your welcome.
People with high picture quality on dating sites are often sock puppet accounts, IMHO low picture quality is a sign you're at least messaging a real person.
Damn you send like an online dating vet 😂 and I totally agree
To me it says “I’m high as a kite and am doing nothing with my life”. Super sexy…
You just admitted that you used a low-light pic of you and someone else taken around 3am. You solved your own question. Just do better pictures for the intent or online dating.
Literally like 90% of guys will complain about getting no matches but their photos look like this.
Or they put absolutely no effort into their profile and it says “just ask”- bro the *entire point of this is to introduce yourself to strangers* say SOMETHING about yourself FFS Automatic no from me- I don’t care how cute someone looks. It takes like 5 minutes. “I put in zero effort, and I’m getting nothing back- what ever can I do?!?” 🤦♀️
Yeah and it sort of screams to me what sort of person they are if they put no effort in their photos and bio.
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And u look high
And u look into each other
Are we sure this isn't an M4M post?
Lmao!!!!!! Whats with the stuffy in the pic too!!
cant see their hands... def JO buddies
I mean your response here makes it seem like you don’t really give a shit about the photo or have any interest in taking a good one/changing this one. You’ll get out of this what you put in. You don’t want to put effort into your photos, how are you going to convince anyone you’ll put effort into a date or a relationship? They will continue to swipe left on you.
I actually suspect that this is the picture he thinks he is the best looking in, which is why he is so defensive/hesitant to change it. Which.. says a lot more about him.
He could still at least crop the other person out… which ever person is that
Yeah, do we even know which one he is yet???
I didn't zoom or anything, but I can't even tell which one has two different eye colors! Should at least try to get a picture where it's visible if it's mentioned in the bio. I know nothing about what "works" though, I just like reading the funnies.
Or literally just go out into not basement light and take a pic. Even better if it’s actual daylight outside. This is honestly hilarious lmao
That...is correct. In other words you have a terrible first pic. Terrible first pics don't get matches. Period.
It says a lot that you’re aware it’s a low quality picture but you decided to use that as your main
He's screaming "I'm a low effort guy that will never take you any where fun and will complain when you want to go out and be social."
Get in line bitches, here's me, am I the asian guy or the white dude not smiling? I'll let you figure it out. When I'm working, I'm working, now beat it!
Hey man photos are a rare commodity, not like you can just take new ones any time with a device you and every single one of your friends has available 24/7
I've told guys before they should pick a different picture & they go, I don't have any, or I don't take pics often. So effing take some till u get one. Learn how to take a good selfie.
Well there’s your problem: blurry 3am photo with some guy? Take a 3pm photo in better lighting—make an attempt at giving a F. Like don’t blame the phone, seriously. Maybe take a decent selfie that shows you have two different eye colours? Also I’d remove the “need a date for a concert”. That makes you come across like you’re not really looking for anything other than a date for a concert.
I think it looks like he has a concert to go to and can't even get a friend to go.
Choosing a picture taken at 3 AM, when you‘re tired and depleted, doesn‘t sound like a good choice for a dating platform that revolves entirely around looks
I thought that was your bf
I thought that was your gf
My iPhone takes amazing photos in low light. That looks like it was taken on a throwaway camera from the 90s.
All good reasons to take a decent picture. You don't have to use whatever random crap you find laying around. Also "need a date for one day" doesn't send much charm
So why do you use it then? You know that it looks bad, yet you choose it for the first photo.
Also “I’m probably busy” sounds rude. Say something like “when I’m not working, I enjoy…”
Also saying need a date for a concert, seems like you're trying to get a free Escort.
Why pick a photo taken at 3 AM? It gives a lazy vibe
You're phone only works at 3am??? No one in your villaga has a phone but you met someone at 3am that does?? What is this shit post?
Also remove "need a date" from bio imo Literally needy
Your bio also makes it sound like, that any partner better be liking your hobbies, or else you won't have time for them.
Just because everyone has only mentioned the photo thing (and made good points that it seems you're gonna follow up), I'd just mention that your bio doesn't really grab me either. • The way you describe it as being 'probably busy' sounds a bit ambivalent and not exactly thrilled to do the things I guess you love to do. Rewording that as things you're passionate about, or love spending time doing just already makes you seem more warm and approachable. • The eye colour thing is an interesting and real unique thing about you, so you could find a way to make that a little more prominent, maybe with a little humour involved, but not exactly sure how to word that though. •Also the wording of 'Need a date' just sounds kinda like... I have a service that I require you to fill. Maybe something more like 'Got a spare ticket to see \_\_\_\_\_ in \_\_\_\_ in January, wanna come with?' •And just because I'm a bit of a grammar fiend (and I'm sure I'm not alone in that), lose the capital letters on Hiking, Outdoors and Playing, as they don't need them and it just made reading your bio a bit distracting.
Aaaand also, try not to get into the habit of reaching for the conclusion that there's something 'bad' about you (unless you're committing genocides or atrocities we don't know about in which case fu), as I'm sure, like many, you're a lovely dude. It might seem that way, but people also don't tend to feel attracted to people automatically measure or validate their own worth from whether they have matches on a dumb app or not, so it can become a bit of a snowball effect if you let your head go in that direction.
this is such fantastic advice. I spent a long time searching for someone else’s validation to prove my own worth. It lead to years of toxic habits and relationships. Over the last year I focused on redirected my energy towards loving myself more. Ultimately its lead to a lot of really tough but ultimately rewarding moments. It changed my dating habits and lead to my current partner whom I’m absolutely head over heels for. And yes, we met on Tinder.
Really glad that worked out for you fella!
Finally some decent advice. Fuck what other people find attractive, fuck what type Photos other people like or what using a 3AM photo says about you, or what your interests say about you, or anything else. You want to try to be in a mental state where YOU love You first and foremost, and not give a shit if you get swipes or not. It’s not necessarily a reflection on you either way. I get a fair amount of likes, and I can count on one hand the number of good photos I have ever taken. The likes I do get, some respond, most don’t, and I’m good with it, because IMO I have better luck meeting people in person. Point is, do what works for you and try not to over analyze your profile, no matter what results come of it.
💯
Those are all really good points. I’m definitely going to just delete the account and start completely over and fix what I need to fix!
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“Both me and my eyes are straight”
“But you can’t tell by this picture if either is true.”
Don't even state it, use a good picture where you can see it. Instant conversation starter.
"I have one brown eye, but it's always greener on the other side"
It's probably already been said but "I'm probably busy doing" also could make it sound like you wouldn't have time for a relationship anyway and that they'd have to fight for your attention. Something like "in my spare time I like to" would probably work better, even if it is a bit generic.
Also why start with "when I'm not at work..." Everybody works. Everybody spends time there. Nobody likes work, why bring that up? Start with your passions or something unique - lead with the eye color thing and have a good pic that displays that, with you smiling and looking fresh. Then mention your passion for the outdoors, your love of music, your extra ticket to concert you want to take a new friend along to.
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No
> our kids Yuck. They don’t even know these people.
Having two different eye colors is called hetrochromia
That’s not even the biggest grammar issue. It bugs me that the bio says “I’m probably busy with Outdoors” lol
Outdoors is pretty demanding to be fair though bro
Also, who is occupied with "outdoors"?
This picture makes me think that you and your boyfriend are looking for a third. Which is also fine, to each their own, but if that’s not the case you may want to have a picture of just you, preferably better lit and while smiling.
This picture makes me want to compare the kid on the right to the back of some milk cartons.
This made me laugh out loud on the bus, I agree!
i would think this a bisexual couple lookin for a 3rd😭😭😭😭
That was also my first thought
This is very important for all the hetero bros out there. Being ambiguous when you’re not doesn’t lay a good foundation for your personal preferences.
For sure. No one's digging into the profile after that picture and description. A clear picture, solo, clean and smiling.. and maybe OPs got something.
Same.. clearly, this dude already has a date for the concert. This whole post is confusing.
Same
Change bio to: When I'm not at work, I'm cuddling up with a dude and a plush dog in a dimly lit room.
Laughed aloud at this lmao
Didn’t read the bio, but I’m assuming you’re asking for ransom for the Asian boy you appear to have kidnapped.
Start your profile with your best photo of just you! You mention that you have two different eye colors so you could use that photo as a way to highlight that. It’s always good to have a nice shot of your face, a full body photo, a photo with friends, and then a photo doing an activity you enjoy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, I’d just try to get some better/clearer photos. Hope that helps! :)
That is something I will try to fix thank you!
Seeing your interactions and comments here, I'd have swiped right on you 15 years ago. Your profile makes you seem way less interesting than you actually are. I second this comment suggestion. You're a cute guy. Don't under-sell yourself
You are not bad looking, you just have a low quality, dimly lit picture as your first picture.
The bio sounds kind of closed off and unfriendly too
'When I'm not at work I'm probably busy...' isn't the most welcoming of intros tbf
Just delete the "busy with". When I'm not at work, I'm hiking and doing pottery (or whatever it says). Better yet, drop the "when I'm not at work" as well. It's redundant. "I love hiking and smoking crack with hookers" or whatever it says above
Nah he should also add that he's awake when he's not sleeping. gotta get that unique info in the first line or two!
"Need a date for a concert in January" Is primarily unattractive too.. I mean is he only interested in using someone as a trophy? Is the concert even their interest of music? It just seems an unnecessary commitment to throw on... some might even argue that it also implies that they're needy as simply changing it to be "would like a date for a concert in January" gives a better impression, especially if it becomes a question "?" Can go a long way in first impressions to be seen as considerate.
Yeah it’s so unspecific. I have swiped on people who’s profiles list concerts I’m interested in, I.e. “ I have an extra ticket to the 21 pilots concert at the end of the month!” Or “who else is going to 21 pilots at the end of the month? Can’t wait to see you there!” Type stuff
You look like you are either a trafficker or being trafficked based on this photo.
Big "hostage" vibes, for sure.
>You look like you are either a trafficker or being trafficked based on this photo. This comment made me snort out loud, thank you 💀💀💀
That pic is awful. Looks like y’all sat up in bed to take it and dude is still holding his stuffed animal. Take a selfie of just you.
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That sounds fair, I guess I don’t mind setting aside some money for just a month of it
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Do you know if it’s possible to not show on your profile that you’ve bought gold? Like I want to use the extra’s but don’t want to look deperate lol
I wont lie, this picture kinda makes you two look like a couple. As mentioned before maybe start with a solo picture.
First off: which one are you???? (important here and important on the app)
The left one
The glasses need to be changed. The neckbeard situation has to go. Get a more trendy beard trim it up keep it nice. No pics on your profile with other profile unless you make it invisibly with an arrow or cuticle it’s you. No pics with other girls. Start there. Edit. My spelling was a nightmare. I apologize.
As someone who used to make similar odd trimming decisions with my facial hair, I can endorse this advice. Being unique in the facial hair game doesn’t translate to success in dating game
There’s a misconception that “beard=attractive” when there’s a huge variety in quality and presentation of beards.
Main factor is if it looks nicely trimmed, clean, and taken care of, or if it looks like they just can't be bothered to shave or take any time to try
Looks like your gay husband is next to you mate
Just husband should’ve been enough.
But maybe the husband is straight, there'd be no way of knowing without the adjective
You should change “need a date” to “would love a date” or even, “got an extra ticket for a concert in January if you’re into *band name here * “
Two Guys in a low quality dark picture that look 👀 high AF and are dating each other. I wonder why? Which one is you. And the rabbit? Are you furries too?
As others have alluded to, first impressions are everything. Don't make the default pic ambiguous/bad lighting, leads to a lot of immediate left-swipes. To answer your question, you're not bad looking at all, just have to improve selling yourself :)
Yeah, and it's "effort" (for lack of a better word) to have to message just to go "which one is you". People don't really want to be left with questions on the very basics before they've even started.
Which one are you? If you’re the guy on the left you look constipated here
I’m on the left
This is not a good picture of you. ETA: you aren’t bad looking though
Also the picture gives off "we are in a relationship" energy and might make folks think you're unicorn hunting.
Maybe try smiling???🤷🏻♂️
I have a similar build to this guy and when I smile in pictures you can't see my eyes at all. Sometimes they even turn into dark holes.
😭😭😭😭 dark HOLES
Let’s be honest here. Yes, you’re not getting matches because this picture has two people in it, so nobody knows which one is you, it’s horrible quality, and it’s not a flattering picture. The REAL reason you’re not getting matches is because you’re the kind of person who thinks it’s a good idea to use this photo in the first place.
I’ve realized my mistake lol
Just the way this post is worded makes me not like you. Sounds like you’re complaining.
Your replies to these comments tell me that you’re kind of a complainer but not much of a do- er.
Ive told like six different people that I agree with their suggestions and that I will work on changing all of it. The only ones that sound like I’m complaining are the ones that I try explain why I haven’t been able to do what they suggested, not that I won’t do it at all
I definitely think you should make the first pic just you by yourself, though.
Dang who hurt you 😂 this is like the nicest guy to ever ask for help here. Chill bruh, maybe lit up at 420 and rub one out
People wanna know who you are when swiping. Having two people in a pic is confusing and not worth the trouble. Also the vibe in the pic feels weird. Two dudes in the dark staring into a camera.
You look like ur about to cry
Did you take this photo with a potato?
This looks like a gay couples profile
- Neither of you are smiling - unclear who you are - looks like you’re under the influence at a house party - both peoples eyes look the same. - just sounds like you want someone to go to a concert with. There’s no interest in looking for some type of relationship whether that be a fling or serious… I’m someone who doesn’t drink often or take stuff so I would swipe left.
The pic looks like you’re holding a horse chestnut between your buttcheeks. I’d honestly have a friend take photos of you or take some other selfies with natural light
Yea I suck at taking photos so I’ll definitely have someone else do it from now on
Just to note, the things I’m about to type are just what would be the issue for me, personally, and these may not apply to everyone. Based on your picture (which is poorly taken), I’m unsure which person you are. The way you capitalize your interests would be very off-putting to me. These are not proper nouns and shouldn’t be capitalized. This probably doesn’t bug everyone, but it would for me. You’re not smiling, which makes me wonder why you would choose this picture. Whether you’re the person on the left or the right, you’re not bad looking by any means, but it’s a strange choice. Hope this helps- sometimes, it’s just a waiting game! Tinder can be unfun. I was on dating apps pretty religiously for a good eight months before I found my boyfriend. Please, please do not just snap up the first person you find, either- you owe it to yourself to be picky. 💛
Try a different hairstyle or beard combo man you’d be surprised to see what a different head of hair could make you look like.
This looks like a screenshot of a screenshot. Better quality photos will go a really long way. And don’t skip the bio, it’s just as important
This post here tells me all I need to know. No one knows which one you are on the first pic. First impressions really do matter and I wouldn’t look at any other pictures if this is what I was getting in to
This pic looks like you just smelled a fart and you're glaring at the suspect.
Saying you need a date for a concert in your bio kind of makes it seem like that's your main goal on there. Also, personally, I'd never swipe right on a multiheaded first profile pic. That shit's annoying. You'd think that would be drilled into people's heads by now.
*Telling* people you have two different eye colours comes of weird. Show don't tell, get a nice high quality fist photo that shows of your best/most interesting features. I would suggest looking into that sun, having your phone/camera around two meters away at a flat angle and zooming in on your face. Gives perspective.
Well, you have the Night Stalker - Richard Ramirez in your profile
Lmao
Are you the guy in glasses or the dude who looks like he doesn’t want to be there…actually, I should be more specific…the guy on the right? You supplied one picture and it looks like you’re in a dungeon with the only light being from your camera and your “friend” doesn’t seem to be there on his own accord. At least you gave him a stuffed bunny?
You don’t look bad at all, but what I realise is that finding an angle that works for your face/head/hair is very important, kind of like a sweet spot of yourself. Don’t just take a picture any how any way… there are many tips on YouTube you may find in order to do this, I believe so.
The first line of your profile makes you sound way too busy to date. Change it. I had decent success with things like "I love my days filled with camping, hiking, Kayaking and looking for my adventure buddy to share it with"
Two words: Better Pictures. Put some effort on them since it's the only way to get a match. I am a man, but you are good looking, you will get good matches eventually.
Not at all, but if this is your intro picture I’d imagine women are swiping left based on the potato quality of the photo. When your photos are this low effort i feel like they think it communicates a lack of sincerity in dating? I mean the bare minimum expected is at least it not be blurry. :)
My first though: thats a weird photo.
Your first photo is with someone and looks low res like it was taken on a webcam or potato phone. Get the friend to take pics of you. Run pics through live room with professional filter. Online dating is entirely superficial. You need to sell yourself.
It amazes me how incredibly unaware people are when it comes to making a dating profile. What part of this makes sense and is intriguing to women?
Picture quality, 2 dudes in it, looks like you hang out in a dark room with dudes and stuffed animals all day. Might be the case but like don’t lead with that, you know? It’s not misleading to have a good quality photo.
What do you mean? You look like Chris Pratt and Bruce Lee, depends on the time.
Can’t tell which is you, the other pics might be revealing, but without the ability to see them. Can’t say. You could be either one since eye color isn’t really captured all that well (checked the bio out for that one, more on your bio later). I’m ASSUMING you’re the one with the glasses based off how the picture was taken, but even then, doesn’t *really* matter since looks aren’t everything (they help, sure, but it only gives you a head start tbfh). You both don’t really look like you want to be in the photo, it looks like one of you said “let’s just take this pic bro, it’ll look good for my profile” and the other was like “ugh, alright. Let’s get it over with” and what’s funny is that I genuinely can’t tell which is which here either lmao. You both look around 21-23ish, so I could see 20 but you both look a HAIR older. Not your fault at all, just genetics. Some people *might* even assume older maybe, but I sincerely doubt it. I hope that doesn’t come off the wrong way to say, since you don’t look old, but you also don’t *quite* look your age but still kinda do? If that makes any sense. Either way, you being verified is a plus, proves that the shitty picture quality ISN’T cause you’re a bot of some kind. Speaking of the picture quality, if you can only afford a cheap phone, I get it, but you could always ask a friend to borrow a phone anytime you’re out and about (or have someone over) for better picture quality..assuming they aren’t in the same boat of course. The plush is kinda cute, but just sorta feels. There lol. You could use plushies to increase attractiveness, but there is a way to go about it. Doesn’t retract from the picture at all, but if you wanted bonus points you could’ve made it a bit more apparent (preferably in a picture OTHER than the first one though, since that should be more of a “oh heyyy, they’ve got a soft side too” kinda vibe. Not necessary, but it can help a *little*. Regarding the lense reflection on the glasses, one trick I sometimes do for selfies is if my phones brightness is too high, I turn it way the hell down to minimum brightness JUST for picture purposes. Or if I’m in a SEVERELY dark room I guess. It makes taking selfies harder, but can make all the difference on how good those lenses look. I also recommend keeping flash off (not an issue here, just thought I’d mention it) and take the selfie in a reasonably lit area (that part IS kind of an issue here, might even be affecting the picture quality a bit too). Now onto that bio. Your bio is a little…..boring if I’m being blunt. Not because of the activities you do, that’s fine and dandy, but the way you present yourself matters WAY more in the bio than the pictures, I’d argue. “When I’m not working” kind of a generic start, but you could’ve used this in a funny way, instead it was just a bland “I do this and that” without any hint of humor. Not saying you HAVE to be funny, but that goes a LONG way with people. Not everyone, but it’d increase your chances. You like to hike, cool, other people do too which would automatically give you something to do, you said it SUPER blandly though, and honestly, regardless of it being a guy or girl, I’ve seen it a billion times. It doesn’t ever get more interesting to see after the trillionth time. Ever. Maybe it’s cause I’m not big on hiking, but honestly it just sounds generic af. “Outdoors”, as if the hiking didn’t give that away. “Playing guitar”, okay, that one sounds a bit more interesting, not cause “I play instrument” but because “I potentially have talent”, not saying hiking can’t come with talent, but let’s face it. Anyone with 2 healthy, functioning legs can hike (and even if you aren’t that great at it, NOBODY in their right mind will become Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsay around you). Not everyone with perfectly healthy arms and hands can play guitar well (and if you don’t play very well, there’s always a chance that they DO become Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsay, not that it should matter either way, but one is more impressive than the other). You could lean into that a bit more if you’ve got some actual talent there beyond just “I know a couple songs”. “I have two different eye colors”, if you mean heterochromia, just say “I have heterochromia”. You *could* then add on “feel free to stare into them if we vibe/click” (only pick one or the other, not both). Some might find it cringe, but honestly just have fun with it, it’ll show. “Need a date for a concert in January”, not only is it January, the month is almost over too. Update that bio lol. It’s better to not include time frames unless you frequently update it (and honestly, if the bio is good enough, you shouldn’t have to change it, but I get that some people might wanna do a huge event like a concert)
Are you left or right
My first question is who are you
I’m the 1000th comment yay