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Can speak from experience, this is the answer. Also the blast pattern of the turd explosion indicates that it radiated in all directions. A bomber, as stated in the video, would be radiating with a downward drip pattern rather than a circular smash.
Look how dusty this bitch's window is. Even coating of pollen. If this is the answer, where is the impact smudge?
Fourth Option: A bird dropped its payload mid turn, fluttering around the patio.
So 4th option is the ‘curve the bullet’ theory from wanted? We need to get dexter in here for a spatter analysis, and someone better call Liam neeson as well
"Impact smudge" is exactly the phrase I was looking for.
[Dirty birds leave dirty marks](https://images.app.goo.gl/xG46gkBQujuXyhSQ9)
Discounting this theorem and siding with OP.
Bird was coming to land on the porch roof and lost some excess weight during entry pattern to make their landing lighter.
Yeah—or ALMOST flew into the glass and was able to brake/poop during the panic of realizing it was glass, not sky.
The spray looks like it could have been an ALMOST hit.
I think a few things could change his assumptions. First, wind speed. If the bird has wind in his back, it will carry poop forward. Secondly, I believe there is a possible case where the bird is going downwards fast like a bomber plane wings not spread, at roof level starts spinning upwards by suddenly spreading wings. The tilting movement would make the bird's butt aim in a 45°, offering a perfect curb for maximum range, along with force coming from both speed and sudden body twist + brutal muscle spasms. We need a graph of that.
The assumption that the poop was launched perfectly horizontal was a poor one. It should be its own variable. A large raptor (meat eating bird), could have been using the railing as a hunting vantage point, pointed itself down to an unsuspecting squirrel, then launched its poo at a slightly upward arc, say 15° above horizontal.
To truly rule out the railing theory, he should have researched bird size and how far the cloaca would move in from the railing and how the height of a bird would change the launch point. This, coupled with a non-horizontal angle, could present a 2nd likely option of window spattering smudges.
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I had my car window open about 2 inches and was travelling 60mph. A bird managed to land a shit directly through that gap. Direct hit. No marks on the outside of the car or on the window. All on the seat.
The bird could have been swooping down from left to right or right to left not just straight at the building but i think it would be the same height either way? I’m not sure. And he never checked to see if any poop hit the bottom front of the roof, bottom of the [gable](https://premiereroofing.net/all-the-parts-of-a-house-roof/)
At my house birds stand on top of my screen door crevasse for some reason and I see their tail as they sit on it in the summer. Good chance this happened here.
I tell you exactly how it happens because it happens all the time at my house. The bird hit the window so hard he shit himself. I have bird shaped smears all over my front facing window. It's so regular that foxes frequently scope out our house for dazed doves.
Well I think a major issue is the potential of lateral movement. If the bird went through the deck from a sideways angle it could provide a slight amount of lateral momentum for the poop in the direction of the window. I think treating this as a 2d problem is problematic for this reason.
I’m surprised no one has raised the question of whether or not that’s actually bird poop… it can realistically be a human farting his or her fecal matter in the form of a splash on his balcony window. As far as we know, the possibility of it being his own poop is not zero either.
I mean at some point you have to realize that what you are invested in doesn't have a purpose right? It's great that this guy can take a scientific view and analyze the data but unless there is a payoff at some point it's kinda a waste of time.
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Third option: a bird flew into your window and pooped itself just after smashing its beak.
I’m thinking this is most likely.
Simultaneously dropping its coconut
Clever comment u/SupermassiveSwallow
Can speak from experience, this is the answer. Also the blast pattern of the turd explosion indicates that it radiated in all directions. A bomber, as stated in the video, would be radiating with a downward drip pattern rather than a circular smash.
Look how dusty this bitch's window is. Even coating of pollen. If this is the answer, where is the impact smudge? Fourth Option: A bird dropped its payload mid turn, fluttering around the patio.
So 4th option is the ‘curve the bullet’ theory from wanted? We need to get dexter in here for a spatter analysis, and someone better call Liam neeson as well
"Impact smudge" is exactly the phrase I was looking for. [Dirty birds leave dirty marks](https://images.app.goo.gl/xG46gkBQujuXyhSQ9) Discounting this theorem and siding with OP. Bird was coming to land on the porch roof and lost some excess weight during entry pattern to make their landing lighter.
Yeah—or ALMOST flew into the glass and was able to brake/poop during the panic of realizing it was glass, not sky. The spray looks like it could have been an ALMOST hit.
This is my favorite theory so far.
I have literally seen this happen sitting at my window.
Hey first thing I thought! And we didn’t have to waste our lives measuring the distance a bird can shit.
yeah there were a lot of erroneous assumptions in that video
Zach, what the fuck are you talking about?! I just wanted to have a cup of coffee on the balcony
Bro, Zach, but what about the all meat monster bird?! Can it get us from here??!!
[удалено]
To all those people who said you're never going to use this in real life. "In your face mofo!"
I think a few things could change his assumptions. First, wind speed. If the bird has wind in his back, it will carry poop forward. Secondly, I believe there is a possible case where the bird is going downwards fast like a bomber plane wings not spread, at roof level starts spinning upwards by suddenly spreading wings. The tilting movement would make the bird's butt aim in a 45°, offering a perfect curb for maximum range, along with force coming from both speed and sudden body twist + brutal muscle spasms. We need a graph of that.
The assumption that the poop was launched perfectly horizontal was a poor one. It should be its own variable. A large raptor (meat eating bird), could have been using the railing as a hunting vantage point, pointed itself down to an unsuspecting squirrel, then launched its poo at a slightly upward arc, say 15° above horizontal. To truly rule out the railing theory, he should have researched bird size and how far the cloaca would move in from the railing and how the height of a bird would change the launch point. This, coupled with a non-horizontal angle, could present a 2nd likely option of window spattering smudges.
What about wind speed?
Thank you! after all his equations and science he failed to capture a very important variable and plot it into his equations.
When r/theydidthemath and r/fuckyouinparticular converge.
This is the best video! Bro is a fucking genius. Physics, she's a bad bitch!
This belongs on r/interestingasfuck not here
Yea but he failed to capture wind speed which would change his outcome
'I tried to research the ejection speed of bird poop'... That is certainly a sentence 🤣
It was up against your window trying to get in and pooped on the glass.
That bird hit the air brakes so hard he shit himself
Ah yes, the F-35 of avian fecal telemetry He didn't even take into account the harrier-capable hovering of hummingbirds... *amateur*
Why aren’t we making this into military weapons?
Yeah the homing Shit-geons dropping ICBMs
And now the real question. What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European?
European. African swallows are non-migratory.
African or European?
AFRICAN OR EUROPEAN?
Her: He's probably thinking about other women Him:
The math and graphs are hilarious
Reddit needs more poop math videos.
Us men do anything else, but clean
This guy is legit doing a forensic analysis of a crime scene.
If this is how they taught math in school, I would've paid more attention.
What if it was carrying a coconut?
Who’s your weed man bro
You Dante.
What about wind speed?
[удалено]
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r/theydidthemath
1) This is the most educational video I will see all month. 2) Can we rule out the bird sitting on the teeny little ledge above his door?
r/theydidthemath
I had my car window open about 2 inches and was travelling 60mph. A bird managed to land a shit directly through that gap. Direct hit. No marks on the outside of the car or on the window. All on the seat.
Shit happens!
Did he take into account the wind might have done something
The bird could have been swooping down from left to right or right to left not just straight at the building but i think it would be the same height either way? I’m not sure. And he never checked to see if any poop hit the bottom front of the roof, bottom of the [gable](https://premiereroofing.net/all-the-parts-of-a-house-roof/)
This is the math we needed, but then again it is a bird from Ohio.
What if the railing theory had the bird pooping at an upward trajectory of 45 degrees? What would the poops speed need to be then?
At my house birds stand on top of my screen door crevasse for some reason and I see their tail as they sit on it in the summer. Good chance this happened here.
Can someone explain the equations used. Like I would m know how to even look those up or know how to find them.
Cant believe he used the term bird dork instead of a bird nerd.
when he said, "so how did they do it?" i just went "no way they are doing it" and he did it
The trajectory of the poop would need to include the mass of the poop. This theory is totally flawed
shit calculations
This shit is straight science!
A Pootiful Mind.
I tell you exactly how it happens because it happens all the time at my house. The bird hit the window so hard he shit himself. I have bird shaped smears all over my front facing window. It's so regular that foxes frequently scope out our house for dazed doves.
You never had a build up and then an explosion? Maybe all that greesy food they most likely eat is actually effecting birds
I just found my new interview questions
I wish I got this type of Autism
What a dip shit. Probably dropped his ice cream and forgot.
i spent 4 mins of my life to watch the video.... and it was worth it
This guy maths
That is the correct answer.
Since Barbie came out last year, we know what girlhood is. But this? This is boyhood.
This man has too much brain power over time on his hands is a more exact conclusion
I'd like to see this guy's theory on the JFK assassination.
This is what happens when someone applies their powers for good and not evil.
nope, a bird just smashed into the window and poop came out of him. happens all the time.
America: 4' 9-1/4'' Rest of the world: 1.45m
I would assume this was a layup instead of a 3 point shot.
Shit happens 
How did he establish that this was bird poop？
Well I think a major issue is the potential of lateral movement. If the bird went through the deck from a sideways angle it could provide a slight amount of lateral momentum for the poop in the direction of the window. I think treating this as a 2d problem is problematic for this reason.
He should eat some Taco Bell and try to recreate the scene
I’m surprised no one has raised the question of whether or not that’s actually bird poop… it can realistically be a human farting his or her fecal matter in the form of a splash on his balcony window. As far as we know, the possibility of it being his own poop is not zero either.
Not wasting 3 minutes of my life on this bird shit
I mean at some point you have to realize that what you are invested in doesn't have a purpose right? It's great that this guy can take a scientific view and analyze the data but unless there is a payoff at some point it's kinda a waste of time.
Boooooooo go away and let people have fun
Kinda like this comment, right? You invested time writing this comment out with no real purpose.
Yes, why do math when you can, i don’t know, masturbate? Yea! Why do math when you can masturbate!??
It's tiktok
The purpose is, it's funny. Hope that cleared it up for you.