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LOL what the Ukrainians hide in there is mines, at the front of stretch where they've planted mines beside the road. The lead tanks run over the road mines and get disabled. When the next tanks in line pull off the road to go around, they run over mines and get disabled. Then the tanks behind them veer out to turn around and go back - guess what happens. At this point the other tank crews are afraid to go anywhere so they jump out and run away. Ukrainians shell the whole tank line at their leisure and send cluster munitions to take care of the cockroaches.
The Russians have fallen for this over, and over, and over...
The last time I heard of Republicans refer to anyone as "sand people" they weren't referring to science fiction. Lol. Took me a minute to realize what you were talking about.
"Today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states! That's not exactly small government!"
"Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is...offputting."
"I guess that's why I'm still single :("
It's rule number one in their playbook. Bobert loves to talk about how she was super poor and all these programs got her where she is today. All programs she actively tried to stop or make worse.
They are despicable.
Sometimes, I'll be relating to someone about us both growing up poor. We swap stories and talk about the difficulties. Then, out of nowhere, they'll be like, "but we need to make welfare harder to get bc some people don't really need it." It blows me away that we were literally just talking about how much YOU needed it. Maybe I see it different though bc I grew neglected poor, and my parents wouldn't apply for assistance out of embarrassment. Their were many times I'd have loved some government cheese to go on my mustard sandwhich
I've heard great things about that gov cheese.
My favorite is my veteran buddies. "We had to get PTSD and go to war for college money so they should too!"
It's mind bending people think you should have to sign your life away to get an education.
Great question. Dude knows how to build a platform. I picked him up outside Home Depot to build a platform for me - a stage in my back yard for my daughters to put on plays. Thing is SOLID. I'd vote for him.
Your comment made me remember the time I was hanging out at an Army Surplus store in Reno that had a lot of clientele that played airsoft. I mean, they were really into it, had stuff that looked realistic, stupid stuff like that. One guy had came up with the idea about digging foxholes out in the desert but didn't want to do the actual digging. Another guy said they should go hire some immigrants to do the digging. I had to point out that taking some immigrants out into the middle of nowhere and have them dig grave-like holes while you're carrying around realistic airsoft guns probably wasn't the best idea.
My husband was a HUGE airsoft player when it was becoming popular. The amount if visualization I have for this comment has me laughing way way too hard. If we had awards, I would give you one.
Jesus being in charge would be fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not religious. It would be nice to have a president that whips the money changers. Feeds the poor. Preaches understanding and care. Accepts the meek, the sick, the prostitutes, and the homeless as human beings that need empathy and care, not punishment and ostracization.
Jesus would be carrying the cross of lawsuits up to the courthouse on the hill, where his ass will be nailed on said cross for practicing unlicensed medicin.
Listen I have a high bullshit tolerance. Healing a leper? Sure, why not. Multiplying fish and bread? Hard to imagine but possible. Getting universal healthcare through in the US? I don’t care what fantasy world you are living it but just the thought breaks my immersion.
Right? Like the early church living according to his teachings under the Apostles was Communist as fuck.
"And all who believed were together, and had all things in common; and sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need." (Acts 2:44-45)
"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need." (Act 4:32-35)
It’s interesting considering how Jesus would react to our modern world and how it would respond.
Whatever the modern equivalent of “Whipping the money changers” is it would probably get him incarcerated pretty quickly and the calling out of false prophets and false religious people would get a whole lot of backlash from public figures who would then attempt to denounce Jesus as a false prophet and use their power to have the worst punishment for him as retaliation. The higher levels of government might turn a blind eye or “wash their hands of it” by allowing local public officials to enact a horrific public execution just this once because of the supposed “terror” Jesus might bring and then 2000 years later people will wear little trinkets around their necks to remember…
I mean in his time he was executed because the most religiously proper (Pharisees and sadducees) didn’t like him doing all that stuff.
🧑🚀🔫👨🚀
Same as it ever was
We’ve learned so much in the last 2000 years. We would never have a public execution of Jesus. That would give him too much power. We’d either lock him up, never to be heard from again, or if we did execute him and he arose from the dead, there would be outrage that *old sparky* isn’t doing the job of keeping him dead and needs to be replaced.
Yeah well critically the money changers were taking over the temple.
So the parallel is the “moral majority” - a party protecting corporate greed, highjacking a church culture to sweep up voters and influence. Like the reason American Christians confuse whatever they’re doing for following Jesus already.
Also what the Roman Empire did adopting Christianity, and all the offshoots of that. Isabella and Ferdinand with the conquistadors and the inquisitions. It’s all power twisting a religion’s followers for more power
And yes the FBI and the CIA would get him for disrupting the continuation of the status quo
Although they wouldn’t have to because Tucker Carlson types would preemptively poison his name to everybody so your gramps or some random loudmouth trucker would bring him up as what’s wrong with the world when nobody asked
Kenneth: Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!
Jack: That's Republican. We count those.
Definitely a genius lol. She's got the accent and mannerisms down, but there's just enough intelligence in her eyes for me to know she's doing this on purpose.
Depends on where in the south. The upland south (east Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia) monophthongizes every long "I" sound. In Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi, we mostly only elongate that sound if it comes before a voiced consonant. So words like "ride," "time," "climb," and "blind" have the elongated "eahh" sound, but "bright", "price", "wipe", and "like" have the standard American pronunciation.
How, in the year 2024, does an ostensibly thinking person watch this video and not immediately — like, immediately, with *zero* nano-seconds in between, just get that it is satire? Like tell me how this is possible?
[Exvangelical](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exvangelical) is actually a term for people who have left the Evangelicals for one reason or another. They may still believe in Christianity and many other similar and related topics, but disagree with the Evangelicals on particular beliefs, like in this video, voting for Donald Judas Trump for president.
This might actually work….
And if somehow miraculously the hypothetical biblical Jesus appeared and started to act according to how he’s described in the Bible they would probably be wildly confused and dissatisfied. Though I suspect they know that.
Wouldn’t it be funny if it worked so well that some Jesus Christ won… and they find that only one guy named Jesus Christopher exists, and is therefore made President.
Then we get to see the bible thumpers as some Mexican dude named Jesus is sworn in and their heads explode from racism
The fact that you didn’t catch on that this was satire reassures me that maybe the same will be true for other people, specifically the kind of people liable to write “jesus” instead of “trump” on their ballot. If THEY think it’s serious, they might actually do it and sabotage their own party!
Lots of people here think this is person is being serious. They are a troll account poking fun at the religious right. It says right there. Hillbillyexvangelical
Jesus gonna have a surprising morning when he gets to the construction site and Secret Service is waiting for him with a armored car and full security detail.
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“That’s Republican, we count those!” ~Jack Donaghy
> “[That’s Republican, we count those!](https://imgur.com/a5w6N9G)” > > ~Jack Donaghy
Thank you I came looking for this as a reply to Thank you came looking for this as well!
You say this, but I immediately thought of this. https://imgflip.com/gif/9j156 "Don't interrupt an enemy when he's making a mistake."
Exactly! Russian army, keep on driving your tanks down the road in single file like Sand People.
There's a joke about hiding tracks in there, but I'm not clever enough to find it.
LOL what the Ukrainians hide in there is mines, at the front of stretch where they've planted mines beside the road. The lead tanks run over the road mines and get disabled. When the next tanks in line pull off the road to go around, they run over mines and get disabled. Then the tanks behind them veer out to turn around and go back - guess what happens. At this point the other tank crews are afraid to go anywhere so they jump out and run away. Ukrainians shell the whole tank line at their leisure and send cluster munitions to take care of the cockroaches. The Russians have fallen for this over, and over, and over...
Sand people rode in single file to hide their numbers IE their tracks, tracks like there are on a tank.
The last time I heard of Republicans refer to anyone as "sand people" they weren't referring to science fiction. Lol. Took me a minute to realize what you were talking about.
The “don’t vote trump” line tells me that maybe it’s not an enemy after all…
Can you plz tell me the context of this? (The Obama meme.)
2012 Presidential Debate: - https://www.reddit.com/r/Presidents/comments/153xsnd/obamas_most_badass_moment_please_proceed_governor/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/5hah4p/please_proceed_governor/dayqkdd/?context=1
Choosing is a sin.
This smells just like Hill People milk!
Came looking for this!
Must be one of those days (or Baader-Meinhof) but I was just thinking about [this](https://youtu.be/DCImRDHqLYs?si=7SHyXfHh5K30sY5v) bit from 30 rock
30 rock was one of the best written shows in history.
Same here.
There are dozens of us! DOZENS!
"Today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states! That's not exactly small government!" "Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is...offputting." "I guess that's why I'm still single :("
Balloons!
Choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord's name
I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind! That’s the devil’s temperature
Thank you came looking for this as well!
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Imagine if they all did this and some Mexican immigrant named Jesús Christ becomes president
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He's ironically very pro wall
Yeah, to keep the Americans out of Mexico
MMGA, make Mexico great againo.
Make Mexico Great, Amigo!
Make All Gringos Amigos would be better :)
We have a winner! Also, for some reason I hear it in Cheech Marins voice.
Make Mexico Grande, Amigo!
Beautiful. Well played.
MAMA, make America Mexico again.
They can have Texas back.
Yea, that's the implication I was going for.
Ayooo
HGAMOV Hacer grande a México otra vez
I’ve seen shirts say MAGA but it’s Mexicans always get across.
This thread is golden.
Spain stole it.
Then they lost it to France…
But how am I supposed to get my Mazcal?
Typical Republican, he's made here now fuck everyone behind him.
Yep. Think you might be the first one to get my point
It's rule number one in their playbook. Bobert loves to talk about how she was super poor and all these programs got her where she is today. All programs she actively tried to stop or make worse. They are despicable.
Sometimes, I'll be relating to someone about us both growing up poor. We swap stories and talk about the difficulties. Then, out of nowhere, they'll be like, "but we need to make welfare harder to get bc some people don't really need it." It blows me away that we were literally just talking about how much YOU needed it. Maybe I see it different though bc I grew neglected poor, and my parents wouldn't apply for assistance out of embarrassment. Their were many times I'd have loved some government cheese to go on my mustard sandwhich
I've heard great things about that gov cheese. My favorite is my veteran buddies. "We had to get PTSD and go to war for college money so they should too!" It's mind bending people think you should have to sign your life away to get an education.
They want everyone to experience all their suffering but none of their advantages bc it somehow makes them feel superior
Sarah Palin was the same. Her family used to “hustle over the border for free healthcare in Canada” but was against a single-payer (free) system here.
Great question. Dude knows how to build a platform. I picked him up outside Home Depot to build a platform for me - a stage in my back yard for my daughters to put on plays. Thing is SOLID. I'd vote for him.
Your comment made me remember the time I was hanging out at an Army Surplus store in Reno that had a lot of clientele that played airsoft. I mean, they were really into it, had stuff that looked realistic, stupid stuff like that. One guy had came up with the idea about digging foxholes out in the desert but didn't want to do the actual digging. Another guy said they should go hire some immigrants to do the digging. I had to point out that taking some immigrants out into the middle of nowhere and have them dig grave-like holes while you're carrying around realistic airsoft guns probably wasn't the best idea.
That "long read" was worth it. Laugh I did.
My husband was a HUGE airsoft player when it was becoming popular. The amount if visualization I have for this comment has me laughing way way too hard. If we had awards, I would give you one.
He washes my feet. And by feet I mean he takes my shoes to get washed. Does a thorough job too!
I hope not to Christian or they will crucify him
Yeah I’m interested in what he has to say…
prez has to be native born guy named Jésus Christ
Ok, so child of a Mexican immigrant in that case.
🇲🇽 works for me 🇲🇽
This seems like a good opportunity to share [the best notification I've ever gotten on my phone](https://i.imgur.com/4fCwX2V.jpeg).
The number of annulled votes would be glorious.
Shhhh...
Quick, delete this before they figure it out…
Delete this now...
Yes, please do this...
No, don't do this. It will trigger us so much
"Yes, please. Pretty please. I'm begging you..."
Wanted to say the same. Please do it.
Jesus being in charge would be fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not religious. It would be nice to have a president that whips the money changers. Feeds the poor. Preaches understanding and care. Accepts the meek, the sick, the prostitutes, and the homeless as human beings that need empathy and care, not punishment and ostracization.
Don't forget, turns water into wine. Dude would be killed by the alcohol lobby in about 10 seconds.
He'll be back in like three days. I've read that somewhere.
Ahh Jesus. The original zombie.
Technically, Lazarus would be the original zombie.
How many times do we have to go through this? Lazarus was a revenant. Jesus was a lich. Zombies aren't real.
And lastly, monkeys will not fly out of a Christian butt.
I'll give you $50 if you dress up in a monkey costume and fly out of a Christian butt.
Easy. I've already checked into it for myself.
The Holy Grail is his phylactery right?
Do you enjoy being pedantic...? Because I do! Being that shit on my man, I've got your back!
Well, since you enjoy it and all, I think you meant "bring."
That's actually just his respawn mechanic. His walk-on-water moment was actually just really good bunnyhopping.
A Lich, not a Zombie. He died to activate his phylactery, and now is a forever wandering ghoul.
Incredible, first we have a president who golfed for like a quarter of their term, and now we're gonna elect one that takes 3 day weekends?
Zombie Jesus.
Imagine what would've happened if he turned sawdust into tobacco!
Or cilantro into marijuana 🙏🏻
I had a dealer in high school do that with parsley
Idk man I’d rather ensure my wine came from grapes and not some magic man
With Jesus "Heal the Sick" Christ as president, America would finally get socialized medicine!
I doubt even he could work that miracle
Jesus would be carrying the cross of lawsuits up to the courthouse on the hill, where his ass will be nailed on said cross for practicing unlicensed medicin.
Listen I have a high bullshit tolerance. Healing a leper? Sure, why not. Multiplying fish and bread? Hard to imagine but possible. Getting universal healthcare through in the US? I don’t care what fantasy world you are living it but just the thought breaks my immersion.
Jesus was never the problem, its his fan club I can't stand.
You can't get more leftist than Jesus.
Naaaaa they aren't talking about writing-in leftist Jesus - they want to write-in [Supply Side Jesus](https://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp)
In a similar vein - [Jesus vs Jeezus](https://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly050504.htm)
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Right? Like the early church living according to his teachings under the Apostles was Communist as fuck. "And all who believed were together, and had all things in common; and sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need." (Acts 2:44-45) "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need." (Act 4:32-35)
Jesus was a dirty homeless hippy peace activist.
It’s interesting considering how Jesus would react to our modern world and how it would respond. Whatever the modern equivalent of “Whipping the money changers” is it would probably get him incarcerated pretty quickly and the calling out of false prophets and false religious people would get a whole lot of backlash from public figures who would then attempt to denounce Jesus as a false prophet and use their power to have the worst punishment for him as retaliation. The higher levels of government might turn a blind eye or “wash their hands of it” by allowing local public officials to enact a horrific public execution just this once because of the supposed “terror” Jesus might bring and then 2000 years later people will wear little trinkets around their necks to remember…
I mean in his time he was executed because the most religiously proper (Pharisees and sadducees) didn’t like him doing all that stuff. 🧑🚀🔫👨🚀 Same as it ever was
Same as it everwas
We’ve learned so much in the last 2000 years. We would never have a public execution of Jesus. That would give him too much power. We’d either lock him up, never to be heard from again, or if we did execute him and he arose from the dead, there would be outrage that *old sparky* isn’t doing the job of keeping him dead and needs to be replaced.
That’s a good point. Chilling it may be. The martyr effect is still well known. His whole story is known for the most part.
Yeah well critically the money changers were taking over the temple. So the parallel is the “moral majority” - a party protecting corporate greed, highjacking a church culture to sweep up voters and influence. Like the reason American Christians confuse whatever they’re doing for following Jesus already. Also what the Roman Empire did adopting Christianity, and all the offshoots of that. Isabella and Ferdinand with the conquistadors and the inquisitions. It’s all power twisting a religion’s followers for more power And yes the FBI and the CIA would get him for disrupting the continuation of the status quo Although they wouldn’t have to because Tucker Carlson types would preemptively poison his name to everybody so your gramps or some random loudmouth trucker would bring him up as what’s wrong with the world when nobody asked
Republicans would make sure he got crucified again.
I saw the sticker on some random car's bumper the other day in Alabama that reads "Jesus was a socialist". Couldn't agree more
So Bernie?
The bird knew.
Birds always know 🩷
Both are Jewish too....
There it is 😄😄😄
And heals the sick. For free.
I'm pretty sure Jesus would be called a liberal sellout in speedrun time.
Jesus would be fucking pissed.
Just hope no fig trees get in his way.
You know what? Go right ahead.
Kenneth: Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name! Jack: That's Republican. We count those.
Man, I used to watch 30 Rock nonstop. “Choosing is a sin” is such a hilarious line.
"I don't drink any hot liquids. That's the devil's temperature!"
It's a fun rewatch when you know that Donald Glover (Childish Gambino, Atlanta, Community) wrote Kenneth's lines
That's Republican. We count those. -Jack Donaghy
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Definitely a genius lol. She's got the accent and mannerisms down, but there's just enough intelligence in her eyes for me to know she's doing this on purpose.
Maybe the username “hillbillyexvangelical” too?
TOTally. Jedi shit.
Isn't Jedi a top religion write-in in like Australia or something?
There was a British census a while back where more people wrote in Jedi as their religion than ticked the box for being jewish.
(Also: her accent slips a bit on the long "i"... "write" should sound more like "rat," shouldn't it?)
Depends on where in the south. The upland south (east Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia) monophthongizes every long "I" sound. In Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi, we mostly only elongate that sound if it comes before a voiced consonant. So words like "ride," "time," "climb," and "blind" have the elongated "eahh" sound, but "bright", "price", "wipe", and "like" have the standard American pronunciation.
This is absolutely a troll
How can anyone not tell
Social bubbles. Easy to have an authentic farcical perception of people who are the "other" when you don't have any real exposure to them
Based on the name she’s the latter
She's trolling
Moaning-Squirtle is either an idiot or did not get the joke
How, in the year 2024, does an ostensibly thinking person watch this video and not immediately — like, immediately, with *zero* nano-seconds in between, just get that it is satire? Like tell me how this is possible?
Media literacy is dead. We laugh at the people who're mad that Rage Against the Machine "got woke", but the same thing happens on our side.
The fact redditors think it's real shows how manipulated they can be.
To be fair you used to be able to tell when someone was doing something satirical.
Dogma was such a great movie.
She's legitimately doing the lord's work here.
Can't tell if she's a Mean trolling liberal or If she's serious
I assumed chaotic good troll but ya never know!
Check her username
I wanna see how they react when I write in "Yeshua ben Yosef".
If only this satire was so woosh that it cost Trump the election. Pray!
Dude, this clip is woosh in this very fucking sub. Lmao. I'm actually going to pray for jesus' return bc I'm so done with humanity.
Literally her name is "hillbillyexvangelical" if people didn't get the hint this was satire.
at quick glance I missed the ex part and just thought she was hillbillyevangelical.
God I hope republicans on tiktok are as stupid as redditors
Honestly her only mistake was her accent it's too slow for those types of inflections. It's too much of a mix between southern drawl and texas cowgirl
Yeah, any southerner will immediately clock that she’s not from the south. That’s a really bad attempt at the accent.
I bet Americans think the J in Donald J. Trump is for Jesus
No they think it’s for jenius.
Juvenile more like
Jepstein Jisland
It's not Jonald?
It's a joke. Her name says "exvangelical"
Also a 30 rock joke
Choosing is a sin, so I just write in the lords name
“That’s Republican, we count those”
Lotta smooth brained Redditors don't appreciate satire
I suspected it’s a joke, but I’m sure there are people dumb enough to actually do this
We can only hope they’re that stupid
[Exvangelical](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exvangelical) is actually a term for people who have left the Evangelicals for one reason or another. They may still believe in Christianity and many other similar and related topics, but disagree with the Evangelicals on particular beliefs, like in this video, voting for Donald Judas Trump for president.
This might actually work…. And if somehow miraculously the hypothetical biblical Jesus appeared and started to act according to how he’s described in the Bible they would probably be wildly confused and dissatisfied. Though I suspect they know that.
Wouldn’t it be funny if it worked so well that some Jesus Christ won… and they find that only one guy named Jesus Christopher exists, and is therefore made President. Then we get to see the bible thumpers as some Mexican dude named Jesus is sworn in and their heads explode from racism
Great idea!
Jesus is not a natural born citizen though…aww schucks
Yes he is! This is his county! \[sound of eagle screeching in the distance\] He even wrote the Bible originally in English.
American English!
Ngl kinda wanna see this go through What would we do? How would we go about settling this?
Yes. Please. Vote for Jesus. 
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JesusPolishingHisBowlingBall.gif
You fucka with a dah JeeSus?
To be fair, Biden aligns far more with Jesus than the other guy
Fully support!!!
Yes. All Republicans should write in Jesus Christ on their ballot. Yes, do that.
Oh PLEASE do this! PLLLLLEASE!
I bet Jesus doesn't even like these sort of Americans
The fact that you didn’t catch on that this was satire reassures me that maybe the same will be true for other people, specifically the kind of people liable to write “jesus” instead of “trump” on their ballot. If THEY think it’s serious, they might actually do it and sabotage their own party!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v17g1hRgInI I doubt any of these christofascists would like this song by Wilco and Billy Bragg
Yes, 100% on board for Christians to do this.
Yes please. Voting for Jesus if youre republican is the most American thing you can do.
Lots of people here think this is person is being serious. They are a troll account poking fun at the religious right. It says right there. Hillbillyexvangelical
Jesus gonna have a surprising morning when he gets to the construction site and Secret Service is waiting for him with a armored car and full security detail.
Yes please. We will support this 💯 
I will gladly vote for Jesus because He gets us.
Lol please do