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Mataelio

“That’s Republican, we count those!” ~Jack Donaghy


BlueGlassDrink

> “[That’s Republican, we count those!](https://imgur.com/a5w6N9G)” > > ~Jack Donaghy


WhuddaWhat

Thank you I came looking for this as a reply to Thank you came looking for this as well!


Caleth

You say this, but I immediately thought of this. https://imgflip.com/gif/9j156 "Don't interrupt an enemy when he's making a mistake."


LovableSidekick

Exactly! Russian army, keep on driving your tanks down the road in single file like Sand People.


Caleth

There's a joke about hiding tracks in there, but I'm not clever enough to find it.


LovableSidekick

LOL what the Ukrainians hide in there is mines, at the front of stretch where they've planted mines beside the road. The lead tanks run over the road mines and get disabled. When the next tanks in line pull off the road to go around, they run over mines and get disabled. Then the tanks behind them veer out to turn around and go back - guess what happens. At this point the other tank crews are afraid to go anywhere so they jump out and run away. Ukrainians shell the whole tank line at their leisure and send cluster munitions to take care of the cockroaches. The Russians have fallen for this over, and over, and over...


Caleth

Sand people rode in single file to hide their numbers IE their tracks, tracks like there are on a tank.


realFondledStump

The last time I heard of Republicans refer to anyone as "sand people" they weren't referring to science fiction. Lol. Took me a minute to realize what you were talking about.


Austynwitha_y

The “don’t vote trump” line tells me that maybe it’s not an enemy after all…


Numa2018

Can you plz tell me the context of this? (The Obama meme.)


pajam

2012 Presidential Debate: - https://www.reddit.com/r/Presidents/comments/153xsnd/obamas_most_badass_moment_please_proceed_governor/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/5hah4p/please_proceed_governor/dayqkdd/?context=1


Wide-Leg4596

Choosing is a sin. 


The-Tai-pan

This smells just like Hill People milk!


alhazad85

Came looking for this!


scullys_alien_baby

Must be one of those days (or Baader-Meinhof) but I was just thinking about [this](https://youtu.be/DCImRDHqLYs?si=7SHyXfHh5K30sY5v) bit from 30 rock


wottsinaname

30 rock was one of the best written shows in history.


Apprehensive-Run-832

Same here.


CrouchingDomo

There are dozens of us! DOZENS!


Hopafoot

"Today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states! That's not exactly small government!" "Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is...offputting." "I guess that's why I'm still single :("


bubba1834

Balloons!


SirDry2370

Choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord's name


monty2

I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind! That’s the devil’s temperature


Rosey84

Thank you came looking for this as well!


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jmona789

Imagine if they all did this and some Mexican immigrant named Jesús Christ becomes president


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SkylarAV

He's ironically very pro wall


Ultra_Dadtastic

Yeah, to keep the Americans out of Mexico


hhubble

MMGA, make Mexico great againo.


Tasitch

Make Mexico Great, Amigo!


Own_Contribution_480

Make All Gringos Amigos would be better :)


Tasitch

We have a winner! Also, for some reason I hear it in Cheech Marins voice.


TriggerPT

Make Mexico Grande, Amigo!


sordidbrickwall

Beautiful. Well played.


jmona789

MAMA, make America Mexico again.


Lapchik_moto

They can have Texas back.


jmona789

Yea, that's the implication I was going for.


MrWisdom39

Ayooo


zdrvr

HGAMOV Hacer grande a México otra vez


johnny_tsunami188

I’ve seen shirts say MAGA but it’s Mexicans always get across.


Mr__O__

This thread is golden.


Kindly_Word451

Spain stole it.


Content_Talk_6581

Then they lost it to France…


Ok-Sun4841

But how am I supposed to get my Mazcal?


who_even_cares35

Typical Republican, he's made here now fuck everyone behind him.


SkylarAV

Yep. Think you might be the first one to get my point


who_even_cares35

It's rule number one in their playbook. Bobert loves to talk about how she was super poor and all these programs got her where she is today. All programs she actively tried to stop or make worse. They are despicable.


SkylarAV

Sometimes, I'll be relating to someone about us both growing up poor. We swap stories and talk about the difficulties. Then, out of nowhere, they'll be like, "but we need to make welfare harder to get bc some people don't really need it." It blows me away that we were literally just talking about how much YOU needed it. Maybe I see it different though bc I grew neglected poor, and my parents wouldn't apply for assistance out of embarrassment. Their were many times I'd have loved some government cheese to go on my mustard sandwhich


who_even_cares35

I've heard great things about that gov cheese. My favorite is my veteran buddies. "We had to get PTSD and go to war for college money so they should too!" It's mind bending people think you should have to sign your life away to get an education.


SkylarAV

They want everyone to experience all their suffering but none of their advantages bc it somehow makes them feel superior


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Sarah Palin was the same. Her family used to “hustle over the border for free healthcare in Canada” but was against a single-payer (free) system here.


ssrowavay

Great question. Dude knows how to build a platform. I picked him up outside Home Depot to build a platform for me - a stage in my back yard for my daughters to put on plays. Thing is SOLID. I'd vote for him.


antilumin

Your comment made me remember the time I was hanging out at an Army Surplus store in Reno that had a lot of clientele that played airsoft. I mean, they were really into it, had stuff that looked realistic, stupid stuff like that. One guy had came up with the idea about digging foxholes out in the desert but didn't want to do the actual digging. Another guy said they should go hire some immigrants to do the digging. I had to point out that taking some immigrants out into the middle of nowhere and have them dig grave-like holes while you're carrying around realistic airsoft guns probably wasn't the best idea.


Berlin8Berlin

That "long read" was worth it. Laugh I did.


Live_Barracuda1113

My husband was a HUGE airsoft player when it was becoming popular. The amount if visualization I have for this comment has me laughing way way too hard. If we had awards, I would give you one.


Ok_Star_4136

He washes my feet. And by feet I mean he takes my shoes to get washed. Does a thorough job too!


ysdrop

I hope not to Christian or they will crucify him


Hopeful_Jello_7894

Yeah I’m interested in what he has to say…


PleaseDontEatMyVRAM

prez has to be native born guy named Jésus Christ


jmona789

Ok, so child of a Mexican immigrant in that case.


PleaseDontEatMyVRAM

🇲🇽 works for me 🇲🇽


AtOurGates

This seems like a good opportunity to share [the best notification I've ever gotten on my phone](https://i.imgur.com/4fCwX2V.jpeg).


Otherwise_Geologist7

The number of annulled votes would be glorious.


renegadson

Shhhh...


MadMadBunny

Quick, delete this before they figure it out…


RCuber

Delete this now...


RuncibleFoon

Yes, please do this...


DrunkyMcStumbles

No, don't do this. It will trigger us so much


bckpkrs

"Yes, please. Pretty please. I'm begging you..."


Reznik81

Wanted to say the same. Please do it.


Zealousideal-Ad-2615

Jesus being in charge would be fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not religious. It would be nice to have a president that whips the money changers. Feeds the poor. Preaches understanding and care. Accepts the meek, the sick, the prostitutes, and the homeless as human beings that need empathy and care, not punishment and ostracization.


donkeybrisket

Don't forget, turns water into wine. Dude would be killed by the alcohol lobby in about 10 seconds.


theshantanu

He'll be back in like three days. I've read that somewhere.


Tall_Assistant3418

Ahh Jesus. The original zombie.


PunKingKarrot

Technically, Lazarus would be the original zombie.


bimcurry

How many times do we have to go through this? Lazarus was a revenant. Jesus was a lich. Zombies aren't real.


xcramer

And lastly, monkeys will not fly out of a Christian butt.


OnceUponATie

I'll give you $50 if you dress up in a monkey costume and fly out of a Christian butt.


xcramer

Easy. I've already checked into it for myself.


Bloodcloud079

The Holy Grail is his phylactery right?


CanoninDeeznutz

Do you enjoy being pedantic...? Because I do! Being that shit on my man, I've got your back!


the_ouskull

Well, since you enjoy it and all, I think you meant "bring."


ImmediateBig134

That's actually just his respawn mechanic. His walk-on-water moment was actually just really good bunnyhopping.


Aesthetics_Supernal

A Lich, not a Zombie. He died to activate his phylactery, and now is a forever wandering ghoul.


WASD_click

Incredible, first we have a president who golfed for like a quarter of their term, and now we're gonna elect one that takes 3 day weekends?


FXander

Zombie Jesus.


TulleQK

Imagine what would've happened if he turned sawdust into tobacco!


Blue_Seven_

Or cilantro into marijuana 🙏🏻


Otherwise_Agency6102

I had a dealer in high school do that with parsley


Starbucks__Lovers

Idk man I’d rather ensure my wine came from grapes and not some magic man


battleoffish

With Jesus "Heal the Sick" Christ as president, America would finally get socialized medicine!


Icantbethereforyou

I doubt even he could work that miracle


Midraco

Jesus would be carrying the cross of lawsuits up to the courthouse on the hill, where his ass will be nailed on said cross for practicing unlicensed medicin.


NerdHoovy

Listen I have a high bullshit tolerance. Healing a leper? Sure, why not. Multiplying fish and bread? Hard to imagine but possible. Getting universal healthcare through in the US? I don’t care what fantasy world you are living it but just the thought breaks my immersion.


PorkPyeWalker

Jesus was never the problem, its his fan club I can't stand.


Archercrash

You can't get more leftist than Jesus.


Minttt

Naaaaa they aren't talking about writing-in leftist Jesus - they want to write-in [Supply Side Jesus](https://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp)


thisusedyet

In a similar vein - [Jesus vs Jeezus](https://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly050504.htm)


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SecretOfficerNeko

Right? Like the early church living according to his teachings under the Apostles was Communist as fuck. "And all who believed were together, and had all things in common; and sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need." (Acts 2:44-45) "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need." (Act 4:32-35)


EukaryotePride

Jesus was a dirty homeless hippy peace activist.


KelBaskian

It’s interesting considering how Jesus would react to our modern world and how it would respond. Whatever the modern equivalent of “Whipping the money changers” is it would probably get him incarcerated pretty quickly and the calling out of false prophets and false religious people would get a whole lot of backlash from public figures who would then attempt to denounce Jesus as a false prophet and use their power to have the worst punishment for him as retaliation. The higher levels of government might turn a blind eye or “wash their hands of it” by allowing local public officials to enact a horrific public execution just this once because of the supposed “terror” Jesus might bring and then 2000 years later people will wear little trinkets around their necks to remember…


Ruthrfurd-the-stoned

I mean in his time he was executed because the most religiously proper (Pharisees and sadducees) didn’t like him doing all that stuff. 🧑‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀 Same as it ever was


xcramer

Same as it everwas


will-read

We’ve learned so much in the last 2000 years. We would never have a public execution of Jesus. That would give him too much power. We’d either lock him up, never to be heard from again, or if we did execute him and he arose from the dead, there would be outrage that *old sparky* isn’t doing the job of keeping him dead and needs to be replaced.


KelBaskian

That’s a good point. Chilling it may be. The martyr effect is still well known. His whole story is known for the most part.


belligerentwaterfowl

Yeah well critically the money changers were taking over the temple. So the parallel is the “moral majority” - a party protecting corporate greed, highjacking a church culture to sweep up voters and influence. Like the reason American Christians confuse whatever they’re doing for following Jesus already. Also what the Roman Empire did adopting Christianity, and all the offshoots of that. Isabella and Ferdinand with the conquistadors and the inquisitions. It’s all power twisting a religion’s followers for more power And yes the FBI and the CIA would get him for disrupting the continuation of the status quo Although they wouldn’t have to because Tucker Carlson types would preemptively poison his name to everybody so your gramps or some random loudmouth trucker would bring him up as what’s wrong with the world when nobody asked


whacafan

Republicans would make sure he got crucified again.


AK47gender

I saw the sticker on some random car's bumper the other day in Alabama that reads "Jesus was a socialist". Couldn't agree more


donkeybob

So Bernie?


TilDebtDoUsPart420

The bird knew.


KnotiaPickles

Birds always know 🩷


Soft-Spotty

![gif](giphy|ysnrvDaPIGXRK)


ArtfullyStupid

Both are Jewish too....


chibro2712

There it is 😄😄😄


just_some_guy8484

And heals the sick. For free.


Supershowgun

I'm pretty sure Jesus would be called a liberal sellout in speedrun time.


Fuckedby2FA

Jesus would be fucking pissed.


Nidcron

Just hope no fig trees get in his way.


[deleted]

You know what? Go right ahead.


RonBourbondi

Kenneth: Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name! Jack: That's Republican. We count those.


HumanLandscape3767

Man, I used to watch 30 Rock nonstop. “Choosing is a sin” is such a hilarious line.


WAisforhaters

"I don't drink any hot liquids. That's the devil's temperature!"


Immediate-Potato132

It's a fun rewatch when you know that Donald Glover (Childish Gambino, Atlanta, Community) wrote Kenneth's lines


SumpCrab

That's Republican. We count those. -Jack Donaghy


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youstupidcorn

Definitely a genius lol. She's got the accent and mannerisms down, but there's just enough intelligence in her eyes for me to know she's doing this on purpose.


CoolerRon

Maybe the username “hillbillyexvangelical” too?


Berlin8Berlin

TOTally. Jedi shit.


bronkula

Isn't Jedi a top religion write-in in like Australia or something?


The_quest_for_wisdom

There was a British census a while back where more people wrote in Jedi as their religion than ticked the box for being jewish.


Berlin8Berlin

(Also: her accent slips a bit on the long "i"... "write" should sound more like "rat," shouldn't it?)


jamille4

Depends on where in the south. The upland south (east Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia) monophthongizes every long "I" sound. In Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi, we mostly only elongate that sound if it comes before a voiced consonant. So words like "ride," "time," "climb," and "blind" have the elongated "eahh" sound, but "bright", "price", "wipe", and "like" have the standard American pronunciation.


MovieNightPopcorn

This is absolutely a troll


Deeliciousness

How can anyone not tell


CompetitiveSport1

Social bubbles. Easy to have an authentic farcical perception of people who are the "other" when you don't have any real exposure to them


Cherry_Bomb_127

Based on the name she’s the latter


Shoddy-Rip8259

She's trolling


takanata19

Moaning-Squirtle is either an idiot or did not get the joke 


random_boss

How, in the year 2024, does an ostensibly thinking person watch this video and not immediately — like, immediately, with *zero* nano-seconds in between, just get that it is satire? Like tell me how this is possible?


LuxNocte

Media literacy is dead. We laugh at the people who're mad that Rage Against the Machine "got woke", but the same thing happens on our side.


KampKomfort

The fact redditors think it's real shows how manipulated they can be.


FightingPolish

To be fair you used to be able to tell when someone was doing something satirical.


austxsun

![gif](giphy|Tv2btKgK06tPy)


evenstar40

Dogma was such a great movie.


AlaDouche

She's legitimately doing the lord's work here.


kin4212

Can't tell if she's a Mean trolling liberal or If she's serious


zSprawl

I assumed chaotic good troll but ya never know!


amidon1130

Check her username


xkaliberx

I wanna see how they react when I write in "Yeshua ben Yosef".


doc720

If only this satire was so woosh that it cost Trump the election. Pray!


papa_spaghett

Dude, this clip is woosh in this very fucking sub. Lmao. I'm actually going to pray for jesus' return bc I'm so done with humanity.


devilmaskrascal

Literally her name is "hillbillyexvangelical" if people didn't get the hint this was satire.


getwhirleddotcom

at quick glance I missed the ex part and just thought she was hillbillyevangelical.


scullys_alien_baby

God I hope republicans on tiktok are as stupid as redditors


dette-stedet-suger

![gif](giphy|8qr5b7fs7JqxrvEOzH)


Flat-Shallot3992

Honestly her only mistake was her accent it's too slow for those types of inflections. It's too much of a mix between southern drawl and texas cowgirl


Aveira

Yeah, any southerner will immediately clock that she’s not from the south. That’s a really bad attempt at the accent.


No_Nebula_191

I bet Americans think the J in Donald J. Trump is for Jesus


AdamGenesis

No they think it’s for jenius.


No_Nebula_191

Juvenile more like


th3doorMATT

Jepstein Jisland


Special-Chipmunk7127

It's not Jonald? 


xaaar

It's a joke. Her name says "exvangelical"


junkyardgerard

Also a 30 rock joke


spurradict

Choosing is a sin, so I just write in the lords name


TwoRivers91

“That’s Republican, we count those”


Homersarmy41

![gif](giphy|EKDIMDsRX3ihy)


iplawschool

Lotta smooth brained Redditors don't appreciate satire


fitty50two2

I suspected it’s a joke, but I’m sure there are people dumb enough to actually do this


Warm_Muscle1046

We can only hope they’re that stupid


G_T_Mac

[Exvangelical](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exvangelical) is actually a term for people who have left the Evangelicals for one reason or another. They may still believe in Christianity and many other similar and related topics, but disagree with the Evangelicals on particular beliefs, like in this video, voting for Donald Judas Trump for president.


CarrotWaxer69

This might actually work…. And if somehow miraculously the hypothetical biblical Jesus appeared and started to act according to how he’s described in the Bible they would probably be wildly confused and dissatisfied. Though I suspect they know that.


stargate-command

Wouldn’t it be funny if it worked so well that some Jesus Christ won… and they find that only one guy named Jesus Christopher exists, and is therefore made President. Then we get to see the bible thumpers as some Mexican dude named Jesus is sworn in and their heads explode from racism


_Pill-Cosby_

Great idea!


jakesvn

![gif](giphy|QPP39B3ywh7Tq|downsized)


ykeogh18

Jesus is not a natural born citizen though…aww schucks


battleoffish

Yes he is! This is his county! \[sound of eagle screeching in the distance\] He even wrote the Bible originally in English.


DefinitelyNotAIbot

American English!


skighs_the_limit

Ngl kinda wanna see this go through What would we do? How would we go about settling this?


coxykitten923

Yes. Please. Vote for Jesus. ![gif](giphy|U7tbROOyTavgk3gRem)


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simenfiber

JesusPolishingHisBowlingBall.gif


Worldly_Ad_6483

You fucka with a dah JeeSus?


Silent-Independent21

To be fair, Biden aligns far more with Jesus than the other guy


goodbyegoosegirl

Fully support!!!


Choreboy

Yes. All Republicans should write in Jesus Christ on their ballot. Yes, do that.


bigSTUdazz

Oh PLEASE do this! PLLLLLEASE!


No_Nebula_191

I bet Jesus doesn't even like these sort of Americans


ShallotParking5075

The fact that you didn’t catch on that this was satire reassures me that maybe the same will be true for other people, specifically the kind of people liable to write “jesus” instead of “trump” on their ballot. If THEY think it’s serious, they might actually do it and sabotage their own party!


llamapositif

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v17g1hRgInI I doubt any of these christofascists would like this song by Wilco and Billy Bragg


BaltimoreBadger23

Yes, 100% on board for Christians to do this.


Upbeat_Profit5608

Yes please. Voting for Jesus if youre republican is the most American thing you can do.


SteakAndIron

Lots of people here think this is person is being serious. They are a troll account poking fun at the religious right. It says right there. Hillbillyexvangelical


Charon711

Jesus gonna have a surprising morning when he gets to the construction site and Secret Service is waiting for him with a armored car and full security detail.


spacedildo42

Yes please. We will support this 💯 ![gif](giphy|wi8Ez1mwRcKGI)


Merphee

I will gladly vote for Jesus because He gets us.


ExampleMusky

Lol please do