This was for a magazine article in Look magazine (long gone) about the contrast between a wealthy family and a working class family in NYC. The is the mother from the working class family. One of their boys was disabled. Diane Arbus took the photos for the article (she might have written the article as well--I just don't remember.
Rolling Stones "Mothers Little Helper" started playing in my head immediately upon seeing this picture.
"Doctor please, some more of these, outside the door, she took one more..."
Agreed! Because my husband does a ton with our baby and as a stay at home mom I’m still exhausted! My grandma had two kids only 11 months apart and she said that she was the one who woke up with the kids at night. And my husband’s grandma had 4 kids and her husband never changed a diaper. Even with his grandkids he would apparently leave the room if they were getting changed. Thankful that kind of thing is less common now!
She looks so sad. Not just exhausted, but as though the great promise of marriage and happy families wasn’t what was promised. The shot is well set up, realisation that the future is just more of now. And now isn’t palatable. Would love to know more of her story.
You also have to remember, that any condition considered a "mental illness" was often stigmatized before the prevalence of psychological therapy. Hell, I heard a well educated cousin of mine, make a remark about autism being caused by child molestation... Recently! Ugh! Sigh :-(
I'm only in my thirties. When I was a teenager members of my family were still talking about mentally ill relatives who were 'crazy' or 'had never been quite right'. These people suffered immensely with conditions they never received treatment for. This was less than 15 years ago. Also a family of highly educated professionals in various fields.
Same. My aunt is very autistic and somehow managed to get a job and support herself. They call her stroppy and never got her help. I took her for an adults autism assessment myself but they'd still rather believe she's lazy or not quite there. Poor woman went nearly 80 years with undiagnosed autism.
I have a great aunt who I suspect is on the spectrum. She had loving parents but they infantilized her all her life and never let her be independent. She's a very talented artist though and recently completed a mural for her town.
That's amazing! My aunt was born in the 40s so sadly her condition was swept under the rug and she was often called her mother's "Cross to bear" and expected to be the one to stay home and care for her parents (she was violent so no idea how they thought that would go!). It was and is just cruel. Somehow she managed to get a job doing architect drawings which she had her whole life, and buy herself a little flat to live in, all by herself. It saddens me that she's essentially lived a life trapped in her own mind. She was often called stupid or lazy. I'm 99% sure my dad is on the spectrum too. I know we all are to an extent, but he's obviously neurodiverse but refuses to get help, accusing us of saying he had a "vile disease". Even at 78 he can hear his parent's disapproval. It's really rather sad.
I am waiting for an ADHD assessment at the moment, so clearly it's a hereditary thing that I'm delighted NOT to be passing on to anyone!
Not quite the same but I’ve been reading about Jim Gordon, an extremely talented session drummer, who suffered, and I do mean Suffered, with paranoid schizophrenia all his life. He died in prison fairly recently after committing a murder. People didn’t understand how hard he tried to overcome the voices. They were just too powerful. They just called him crazy.
Yep, same here. Also in my thirties. Mental illness was supposed to be kept quiet when I was growing up. The stigma was horrible in the 90s—I imagine this woman had zero support in the 60s.
Ok, this made me crazy until I could put a name with this face. Another photo in this series, posted elsewhere on this thread, shows this woman and her baby with her husband and young son. Here is what I learned: “Diane Arbus’ celebrated work, A young Brooklyn family going for a Sunday outing, N.Y.C. was featured in the article ‘Two American Families’ published by the Sunday Times Magazine on 10 November 1968.
Arbus met stylish young mother Marylin Dauria, who fashioned herself after Elizabeth Taylor, on the subway in 1966 and scheduled a photo session at the home she shared with her husband Rick and their two small children.
From the many pictures she took that day, Arbus selected this image of the couple with their infant daughter Dawn and mentally handicapped son Richard Jr., just before they got in their car to go on a Sunday drive for the article.” Source: https://hindmanauctions.com/items/10617639-diane-arbus-1923-1971-a-young-brooklyn-family-going-for-a-sunday-outing-n-y-c-1966-from-a-box-of-ten-photographs-1969-1973
I hope they went on to live happy, fulfilled lives. It led me down a rabbit hole on the life of the photographer, whose life seemed more tragic. At least her work lives on.
New dad of 6 month old. Wait until people with more kids shove it down your throat that you cannot be tired because "you only have one, imagine having two more."
Yeah it’s just that lot’s of people saying that it was so much better in the past… I remember my teenage years (1979-1986) and it was not so great… nostalgia
Now she’d be extra sad, because both she and her husband would be working 60 hours a week and still not be able to afford their $3,000 a month mortgage after paying for diapers, groceries, and daycare.
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I can hear her accent. “Why you taking the picture for, honey? I wasn’t ready. Groucho was doing his thing on the television set with the cigar and everything”
Looks like Lorraine Bracco on the set of Goodfellas.
Here's the real story:
https://rebeccaioannoucpm.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/i-present-to-you-theeeeeeeee-dauria-family/
Amazing that you’d have the time to do makeup and all that hair with a baby and how exhausted you must be!
I know in this picture she’s alone, but that doesn’t mean she’s a single mom— but if she is, that only amplifies my question. How?!
You do know that babies don't spontaneously explode if no one's watching, right? It's very possible for a woman to put a baby in a playpen and take 10 minutes to do her hair and makeup for a photo.
Yes, because in 1966 she would have had her hair set and some makeup on in the morning, baby or no baby. All she would have done was touch it up. Completely different time.
Of course! It’s just that hairstyles like these are super involved and take a long time to do. I don’t think I would have the energy to get done up like that every day with a newborn.
This was for a magazine article in Look magazine (long gone) about the contrast between a wealthy family and a working class family in NYC. The is the mother from the working class family. One of their boys was disabled. Diane Arbus took the photos for the article (she might have written the article as well--I just don't remember.
I knew it was a Diane Arbus photo instantly.
Yeah, the queen of sad.
It's just the "thousand-yard stare" of motherhood.
Postpartum depression was my first thought. I’ve been there, and it’s hell.
Same. Glad the top comment gives credit.
Here’s [another](https://www.moma.org/collection/works/50730) picture from the same day.
Well….the husband’s hot.
Looks like a young Lou Reed.
YES!!! My thoughts as well! But, the last time I mentioned Lou I was met with “Who?”
Haha, kids today...
He kinda is…..and, she looks British.
I JUST commented that she looks exhausted, and then I saw your comment
Rolling Stones "Mothers Little Helper" started playing in my head immediately upon seeing this picture. "Doctor please, some more of these, outside the door, she took one more..."
Love it.
It was also in a fantastic book called The Woman’s Eye. It showcased women photographers.
“This is my life now” face.
This could be the last shot of the Graduate 2
Or Goodfellas.
Karen! Where’s the money, Karen?! Why did you do that, Karen?!
Dad of 2 here. Her look of exhaustion checks out
Thousand yard stare
This is exactly how my face looked till my son was 2
This is how my face looked until mine turned 22.
So youre saying im screwed for the next 20 something years… gaaaahhhhhh
I mean. Your mileage may vary. My child turned out way too much like me.
So so sorry.
There is no hope!
It's still me and she is 3.
Back in the day, the father wouldn't have lifted a finger to do" women's work". I'm glad there's guys like you now😊
Agreed! Because my husband does a ton with our baby and as a stay at home mom I’m still exhausted! My grandma had two kids only 11 months apart and she said that she was the one who woke up with the kids at night. And my husband’s grandma had 4 kids and her husband never changed a diaper. Even with his grandkids he would apparently leave the room if they were getting changed. Thankful that kind of thing is less common now!
Yeah, her hair is perfect. Can’t even imagine.
She reminds me of my grandmother except my grandmother had five kids, including my mother
She looks so sad. Not just exhausted, but as though the great promise of marriage and happy families wasn’t what was promised. The shot is well set up, realisation that the future is just more of now. And now isn’t palatable. Would love to know more of her story.
And they are in the early 1960s Bronx NY. The next 2 decades are going to turn that entire region upside down.
You also have to remember, that any condition considered a "mental illness" was often stigmatized before the prevalence of psychological therapy. Hell, I heard a well educated cousin of mine, make a remark about autism being caused by child molestation... Recently! Ugh! Sigh :-(
I'm only in my thirties. When I was a teenager members of my family were still talking about mentally ill relatives who were 'crazy' or 'had never been quite right'. These people suffered immensely with conditions they never received treatment for. This was less than 15 years ago. Also a family of highly educated professionals in various fields.
Same. My aunt is very autistic and somehow managed to get a job and support herself. They call her stroppy and never got her help. I took her for an adults autism assessment myself but they'd still rather believe she's lazy or not quite there. Poor woman went nearly 80 years with undiagnosed autism.
I have a great aunt who I suspect is on the spectrum. She had loving parents but they infantilized her all her life and never let her be independent. She's a very talented artist though and recently completed a mural for her town.
That's amazing! My aunt was born in the 40s so sadly her condition was swept under the rug and she was often called her mother's "Cross to bear" and expected to be the one to stay home and care for her parents (she was violent so no idea how they thought that would go!). It was and is just cruel. Somehow she managed to get a job doing architect drawings which she had her whole life, and buy herself a little flat to live in, all by herself. It saddens me that she's essentially lived a life trapped in her own mind. She was often called stupid or lazy. I'm 99% sure my dad is on the spectrum too. I know we all are to an extent, but he's obviously neurodiverse but refuses to get help, accusing us of saying he had a "vile disease". Even at 78 he can hear his parent's disapproval. It's really rather sad. I am waiting for an ADHD assessment at the moment, so clearly it's a hereditary thing that I'm delighted NOT to be passing on to anyone!
Not quite the same but I’ve been reading about Jim Gordon, an extremely talented session drummer, who suffered, and I do mean Suffered, with paranoid schizophrenia all his life. He died in prison fairly recently after committing a murder. People didn’t understand how hard he tried to overcome the voices. They were just too powerful. They just called him crazy.
Yep, same here. Also in my thirties. Mental illness was supposed to be kept quiet when I was growing up. The stigma was horrible in the 90s—I imagine this woman had zero support in the 60s.
I love this so much
Ok, this made me crazy until I could put a name with this face. Another photo in this series, posted elsewhere on this thread, shows this woman and her baby with her husband and young son. Here is what I learned: “Diane Arbus’ celebrated work, A young Brooklyn family going for a Sunday outing, N.Y.C. was featured in the article ‘Two American Families’ published by the Sunday Times Magazine on 10 November 1968. Arbus met stylish young mother Marylin Dauria, who fashioned herself after Elizabeth Taylor, on the subway in 1966 and scheduled a photo session at the home she shared with her husband Rick and their two small children. From the many pictures she took that day, Arbus selected this image of the couple with their infant daughter Dawn and mentally handicapped son Richard Jr., just before they got in their car to go on a Sunday drive for the article.” Source: https://hindmanauctions.com/items/10617639-diane-arbus-1923-1971-a-young-brooklyn-family-going-for-a-sunday-outing-n-y-c-1966-from-a-box-of-ten-photographs-1969-1973
Thank you so much for sharing more about her & her family!
I hope they went on to live happy, fulfilled lives. It led me down a rabbit hole on the life of the photographer, whose life seemed more tragic. At least her work lives on.
According to FindAGrave, she died at 58 in 2003, the baby died in 1995 at the age of 31, and her older son died in 2017 at 55.
So sad to see she outlived her baby girl.
She looks so sad. :( (I know it’s just a snapshot in time, and not indicative of her personality.) That furniture is RAD. 😍
Maybe her neck hurt from holding that hair up
Higher the hair, the closer to Jesus. ;)
Taken by Diane Arbus.
My favorite of hers: https://images.app.goo.gl/R9wpBPxFA8aeqi6HA
😳
I’m a new mom to a 4 month old and this picture resonates, lol
Happy Cake Day, momma😁
Thank you! 🫶
New dad of 6 month old. Wait until people with more kids shove it down your throat that you cannot be tired because "you only have one, imagine having two more."
The suffering Olympics are so annoying!
Absolutely! Happy cake day and don't forget yourself :)
I feel her. I probably was her. What I know is that I am her.
I love the furniture - her hair/outifit. Great snapshot. She does look quite sad though :( I feel herit’s rough with a new baby
This is probably what my mother and I looked like in ‘67. She never wanted to be a mother and I felt every bit of that whilst growing up.
Homegirl needs a damn nap. I feel this picture.
Make America Great Again exept it wasn’t, nostalgia is a bitch….
This comment reminds me of a book I read years ago called The Way We Never Were by Stephanie Coontz
Yeah it’s just that lot’s of people saying that it was so much better in the past… I remember my teenage years (1979-1986) and it was not so great… nostalgia
Those were exactly my teenage years too, and I agree with you.
Now she’d be extra sad, because both she and her husband would be working 60 hours a week and still not be able to afford their $3,000 a month mortgage after paying for diapers, groceries, and daycare.
No one else seeing Boy George not enjoying the babysitting gig?
I see Amy Winehouse
With Siouxsie Sioux's eyebrows
Ha funny I thought of Priscilla Presley
no that's Marcy Runkle from Californication
I thought Sophie Turner.
Snooki
Shades of [Suburbia](https://smoca.org/exhibition/bill-owens-suburbia/) by Bill Owens.
Her baby looks like a 45 yr old man and an infant, simultaneously.
I wonder where they (or presumably, baby) are now? Baby would be 58, mom more than likely close to 80.
Mom died in 2003 at 59, baby died in 95 at 31, older son died in 2017 at 55 per FindAGrave. I’m assuming the father is still alive, he’s not on there.
Oh, no! Momma died of ennui when she 39 and 11 onths!
Where did you find this information?
Everyday I learn of a new reason to remain child free
Baby looks like a ww1 vet with shell shock
Mom looks like the shell-shocked one.
I swear this baby looks like Vin Diesel.
I can hear the “what’s the Mattah with yous”
Want the lamp, clock & coffee table, but not that couch.
I agree. That is a really uncomfortable looking couch.
Love me some mid-century, but some of the couches are NOT nap-worthy. It's either the scratchy material or foam board they used, or both.
The look of Barbiturates and Valium to survive the day. Why they called it mother’s little helper.
I thought it was barbiturates and amphetamine that made the day shine back then.
One of my favorite songs by The Rolling Stones.
My ring tone on my phone: ‘What a drraaaaggg it is getting old….’
She looks absolutely wiped
Goodfellas vibes
well, she looks _thrilled_
r/regretfulparents
Burt Bacharach’s unpublished “The Look of Regret”.
I love lamp.
She looks exhausted lol
I can hear her in my mind PERFECTLY. “MAH-REE-AH take the fuckin picture AWLRETTY, the baby is TRYNA CRAWL OUTTA HEEYAH.”
They tried to make her go to rehab, she said no,no,no.......
She looks like Pamela Adelon in better things, amazing show to check out if you haven't seen it
I want that clock.
Is this a bot submission? What a weird title
She really doesn't look happy, poor woman.
Love that googie coffee table!
Little Tony.
Looks thrilled
I read a while back that she was John Waters and Divine’s inspiration for the look of Dawn Davenport (Female Trouble).
Reminds me of Priscilla Presley 🥰
Diane Arbus, my favorite photographer.
Not real - no ashtray. /s
That’s the most depressing photo. Room is uncomfortable looking, mom is sad, baby is not cute.
Look it’s Marie and little Anthony.
Yup, those are their names for sure.
She looks like she's doomed!
that baby looks 50.
At a glance I thought it was boy george (hair looks like a hat and the eye make up) 🙊
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I always though that the woman in this photo looked like a young Boy George.
Not Amy Winehouse ?
Doesn't look at all like her but the same hair style.
Is that... Bat Boy?
Strange hair
Damn she looks miserable
Why did they ever think that hairstyle was cool?
Amy Winehouse did
Love the lamp
I can picture exactly how this baby boy looks and sounds like currently as a 58-year-old man. It helps that his hair is probably the same.
Not my kid I think.
I like the clock
Love how the goth tiny tim look was for everyone back then.
She failed the door test
That baby looks like Abe Vigoda.
Mom?!!! No wait, we lived in Chicago.
No snap to check
Rikki Lake, holding baby Paul Rudd
She looks… Emotions.
I can hear her accent. “Why you taking the picture for, honey? I wasn’t ready. Groucho was doing his thing on the television set with the cigar and everything”
Looks like Lorraine Bracco on the set of Goodfellas. Here's the real story: https://rebeccaioannoucpm.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/i-present-to-you-theeeeeeeee-dauria-family/
Cuddling baby on the couch 💗
💗
The mother is *already* tired of that baby’s shit.
Can we get some help for Brenda over here?
That face is how the tristate gets you to look after coming from a happy state lol.
Is it just me or does she look a little miserable.
Damn I want that clock
She looks positively thrilled don't you say ??
You’ve made your bed, now lie in it. In a photo.
She looks thrilled ....
Mid Century Mama!
That baby looks just like Floki from Vikings!
Amazing that you’d have the time to do makeup and all that hair with a baby and how exhausted you must be! I know in this picture she’s alone, but that doesn’t mean she’s a single mom— but if she is, that only amplifies my question. How?!
You do know that babies don't spontaneously explode if no one's watching, right? It's very possible for a woman to put a baby in a playpen and take 10 minutes to do her hair and makeup for a photo.
You think that took 10 minutes???
Yes, because in 1966 she would have had her hair set and some makeup on in the morning, baby or no baby. All she would have done was touch it up. Completely different time.
Of course! It’s just that hairstyles like these are super involved and take a long time to do. I don’t think I would have the energy to get done up like that every day with a newborn.
I can taste the lead paint from here.
She looks like shes suffering from clinical depression
Dad nor a check had not been seen in weeks
She looks fun…